Lister listened to Rimmer toss and turn all night. It seemed his attempts at offering words of comfort had not been terribly comforting. Early in the morning he heard Rimmer rush to the bathroom to throw up.

Rimmer checked the time before lying back down. Terrific, he had a whole hour and a half before his alarm. He shut his eyes and tried to go back to sleep, but the bumping of his heart was too loud. The blood pumped through his head, throbbing and filling him with nausea.

He had to do the exam, he had worked too hard not to. But the more he thought about it, the more his heart raced. What if it went badly, just like all the other times he had taken it? If he failed, then all of this hard work would be for nothing. And he might totally embarrass himself again by panicking and doing something stupid in the exam room.

Maybe he could just stay in his bunk and not do it? If he was going to fail anyway, there was no point going through three hours of staring at questions uncomprehendingly while the other candidates scribbled away. Just thinking about being in that room where the lights were too bright and the air was hard to breathe made him feel sick. The clock ticking down the seconds to his doom haunted him. He couldn't face it.

Lister said he shouldn't torture himself over it. Maybe he was right. Rimmer always felt intensely ill in the months preceding an exam and for weeks afterwards. And the knowledge of one more failure added to the list stayed with him for much longer.

But could he really listen to what his lazy, unambitious bunkmate said? He'd been warned that there would be people who would try to drag him down, jealous of his talent and commitment. Was Lister one of those people? Lister said he didn't care about exams and ranks, but then he would say that, wouldn't he?

Lister had seemed so genuine in what he said. Rimmer remembered the soothing way he had squeezed his shoulder and put his arm around him. Could it be that those things didn't really matter?

No, of course they mattered. If Rimmer wanted to get anywhere in life, he needed that promotion. And passing the astronavigation exam was the only way to get it.

But he hadn't revised enough. As always, it had seemed like he had all the time in the world to design and implement the perfect revision schedule, just like he had learnt to do from those organisation guides and seminars. But despite his intentions to stick to a rigorous schedule, somehow it had slipped. It always did.

Lister. It was Lister's fault. He always found some way to break his concentration and derail his schedule.

But he had done some revision, right? He screwed up his eyes and tried to recall what it said on page one of his textbook. He could see it in his mind's eye, Chapter One in perfect crisp letters. Then there was some text, and the first equation, the most important one. But what was it? No matter how he scraped the bowels of his memory, the words remained blurry.

Maybe it would come back to him once he saw the exam paper.

As if that ever happened.

Sleep was an important part of recalling facts. He had to sleep. He turned onto his side, then tried the other one. When sleep didn't come, returned to lying on his back. He tried to empty his mind, but as soon as he did more worries came rushing in to fill the space.

He was doomed. Whatever he chose, it would be the wrong option and he'd be punished for it.

The alarm sounded, and Rimmer switched it off and bolted out of bed. He must have slept, but it didn't feel like it. His eyelids felt like they were glued to his eyes, he couldn't breathe through his nose and his mouth felt like someone had applied sandpaper to it. A rousing, cold shower was just the thing to get him ready for the day.

When Rimmer came out of the shower, Lister was overfilling a bowl with Sugar Puffs. He scooped up the cereal that had fallen onto the table and shoved it in his mouth. "Breakfast, Rimmer?" he said with his mouth full.

Rimmer shook his head. "No time for breakfast today, I must stay sharp and clear headed for my exam."

"So you're doing it then?" Lister said, grabbing a spoon and sitting down.

"And I suppose you have something to say about that?"

Lister frowned, and then shrugged. "Good luck?"

"Thank you, Lister, but I won't need it. Now I have-" Rimmer turned and looked at his schedule. "No, this can't be right." He looked at his watch, then back at the schedule. He could feel his blood pressure rising. "The exam started over an hour ago? How can this have happened?" He put his hands in his hair and clenched his fists around the roots. "I must have- but how did I? I must have set my alarm wrong."

"Maybe you set it wrong on purpose," Lister said, waving his spoon and sending some Sugar Puffs flying over Rimmer's head.

"What? Why would I do that?"

"Because you didn't really want to do the exam," Lister said.

"That's preposterous, Lister! I would never do anything so irresponsible. Did you change it?"

"No!"

"I'll just have to go in late. If I set off now I can answer at least half of the questions and if I do that perfectly I'll still pass," Rimmer said, raising his hands. He stopped and looked at his hands. Something about them didn't look right. The lights were too bright and suddenly pulsing. Or was that the vein in his head? "But how can I? Even the top scorers rarely get more than 90%. I need more time to memorise the textbook."

As Lister ate his breakfast he watched Rimmer hunch over the text book and start flicking madly through it. He wanted to say something but he doubted anything would get through to Rimmer while he was in this state.

"It's pointless! I can't do it!" Rimmer wailed, holding his head in his hands.

Rimmer got up and charged towards the door, and then stopped. He looked at Lister. "Should I go or not?" he asked.

"It's up to you, mate," Lister said.

"You think I shouldn't? Right then," Rimmer said, violently pulling the other chair out from the table and plonking himself down on it.

Lister sat there while Rimmer talked himself into and out of going to the exam, all the while time was ticking away. He didn't even need to say anything, Rimmer provided both sides of the argument all by himself. Lister just filled another bowl with Sugar Puffs and pushed it over to Rimmer, which was ignored.

Rimmer smacked his hands down on the table and stood up. "Right! I've decided, I'm going."

"I wouldn't bother if I were you," Lister said.

"Why? You don't think I can do it?"

"Well, you've only three minutes left. I don't think you'd even make it to the exam room if you ran."

Rimmer stared through him and swayed from side to side. Lister thought he was going to keel over, but then screamed, sat down and slammed his head down on the table.

"It's all right, you didn't wanna do it anyway, did you?" Lister said.

Rimmer mumbled something indistinct and clamped his hands over his head like he was in an aircraft crash position. His shoulders started to shake and despite his efforts to hold it back a sob escaped from his mouth.

Lister scooted his chair closer and tentatively laid an arm on Rimmer's back, and when he didn't immediately flinch away Lister started to rub his hand on his back in small circles. "There there, it's okay," he said in a soft voice. Rimmer was such a smegging idiot, he'd brought this all on himself, and even with Lister's attempts to tell him he still refused to acknowledge it. But even so, Lister couldn't help but feel a bit sorry for him. Rimmer was pretty good at making his and everyone else's life a nightmare, but he also seemed to be unable to stop himself making his own life a nightmare too.

Everything that Rimmer had dreaded about this day had come true. He hadn't even taken the exam so he had definitely failed. And he had completely humiliated himself by crying in front of Lister not once but twice. True, it hadn't been in front of a lot of people this time, but Lister still might tell everyone and they'd all have a good laugh at his expense. That thought made him sob even harder. Lister was rubbing his back, which was quite nice, even if he didn't deserve it. He was a failure, he was a coward and a weakling.

Lister was wrapping his other arm around him, pulling him into a hug. Rimmer's breath caught in his throat and he swallowed, then he let himself slide sideways to put his head on Lister's shoulder. He couldn't sink any lower anyway. Lister held him and let him cry on his shoulder, offering comforting pats and back rubs.

"You know, you could just take the exam again next time," Lister said.

Rimmer lifted up his head and sniffed. "You're right," he said, brightening slightly.

"It'll be all right, mate," Lister said, patting Rimmer's shoulder as he sat up.

Rimmer went off to the bathroom to splash cold water on his face and try to avoid looking at himself in the mirror. When he came back, Lister was putting his hat on.

"Time to go on my shift, I suppose," Lister said.

"Right. Right. I'll come with you."

"No. You're not scheduled on today because of your-" Lister hesitated, not wanting to mention the exam again. "You're not scheduled on today. Go and watch a video or something. Get some rest."

Rimmer's eyes darted towards the textbook, still open on his desk. Lister grabbed it and put it under his arm, and took it out of the room with him.

Rimmer stood there for a moment, feeling lost. Then he went and curled up on his bunk and sobbed himself to sleep.

When Lister returned from his shift, he found Rimmer cocooned in his blanket on his bunk. "Have you been there all day?"

"No," came a voice from the blanket.

"Well get up, I've got something for you."

Eventually, Rimmer emerged from his cocoon and joined Lister at the table. Lister put a booklet down in front of him. "It's a list of all the classes the ship's running. I thought we could take one, you know, to take our minds off stuff."

Rimmer shook his head. "I don't have time to waste on things like this," he said.

"Come on Rimmer, give it a go. How bad can it be to take a break and do something different for a while? Who knows, you might find your new passion."

Rimmer sighed, and flicked through the booklet.

After a while, Rimmer yielded and circled a few courses that took his interest.

"Leadership? What is that even about? And there's no way I'm doing Public Speaking. We've gotta do something fun, or relaxing. That's the whole point. How about Trampolining?"

"I'm not doing that."

"All right, there's loads of others. How about Pottery? Basket Weaving? Meditation?"

Rimmer shook his head at every one of Lister's suggestions.

"All right, how about Landscape Painting?"

"Okay. Fine."

Lister grinned. "Really? Brutal. There's a class tomorrow night, we should go."