Title: You Had Me At Glory Hole

Author: Valleygirl285

Rating: Teen (I know hard to believe with that title)

Summary: AU where Jo comes back from a hunt to see her mother has done some remodeling at Harvelle's and a very panic Ash.

Author Note: Inspired by an article I read about the making of the film Glorious. This is just some silly...horribly silly crack.

I hope people enjoy and maybe have a little chuckle. Thanks and enjoy! Val

Chapter 1 of 1

"What the Hell Jo can't you pick up your phone when I call?" Ash hissed as he followed the blonde huntress as she strolled across Harvelle's and tossed her duffel behind the bar.

"Hello to you too Ash. Yes my hunt went fine, thanks for asking," she teased as she grabbed a beer from the cooler.

"Hardy…haha," her friend said. "We have an emergency here."

Jo quickly scanned the room and sighed in relief when she saw her mom plopping down an order of chili cheese fries in front of Dean Winchester.

"Ellen's fine…well in theory she's fine…except that with you gone she used her coping technique of doing a DIY project." He informed her as he grabbed a beer.

Jo shrugged her shoulders as she glanced around the bar for the said project. "I don't see any changes."

Ash took a pull of his beer before leaning forward and whispering in her ear, "she put new stalls in the johns."

Jo's eyes widened in horror, "oh shit."

SPNSPNSPN

"Woman on deck," Jo shouted as her and Ash hurried into the mens room.

"Jesus Jo," Hap Sullen cried as he quickly tucked himself back into his pants.

"Like you have something I haven't seen before," Jo huffed as she went over to the two freshly installed bathroom stalls. "At least they're wood like the other ones. We'll just have to drill a new one."

Hap snorted as he washed his hands, "your Mama would tan your hide if she knew you're the one who put that in."

"Yeah…yeah. She would only know if somebody ratted me out," Jo said as she placed her hands on her hips and gave the older hunter a look that would make lesser men quake in their boots.

The older man held his hands up in mock surrender before walking back out to the bar. Jo waited until he was gone before turning to Ash and said, "get your tools, once mom heads upstairs we have work to do."

SPNSPNSPN

"Mom, I'll clean up. Why don't you head up," Jo suggested as she placed the last glasses in the washer.

"Thanks Honey, I'm pretty beat," the elder Harvelle said as she put the dishrag she was wiping the counter with down before looking over at the brothers sitting at the end of the bar. "You boys staying? I'm making bacon and eggs tomorrow for breakfast."

Dean grinned and said, "you had me at bacon."

Ellen laughed as she waved and headed towards the back staircase to the apartment above the bar.

Jo smiled and waved at her mom and waited until she heard the door to the apartment closed. "Dean…Sam can you both be sweethearts and finish cleaning up. Ash and I have some work we have to do. Thanks!"

The brothers watched as Jo followed Ash across the bar and head into the mens room together. "What the Hell is that all about," Sam asked his equally confused brother.

Dean shrugged his shoulders as he picked up the broom Jo propped against the bar. "Who knows but a free bed and breakfast works for me. I'll sweep and you finish wiping down the tables and countertop. We'll be done in no time."

Sam nodded his head in agreement as the brothers quickly started cleaning as both Winchesters decided on a 'what we don't know...won't bite us in the ass' attitude.

SPNSPNSPN

"No way Jo," Ash snapped. "Even for us that's too weird!"

"But how am I supposed to make it without the proper dimensions?" She cried.

"Guesstimate!"

Jo threw her arms in the air as she huffed, "do I always have to do everything myself?"

He watched as she spun around and headed back into the bar and smirk when he heard her call out, "hey Dean wanna help a lady out?"

SPNSPNSPN

"I'm sorry did you just ask to use my dick to measure how big you should make your new glory hole?" Dean asked as he stood staring at Jo and Ash in shock.

"I can ask Sam if you're too shy," Jo suggested.

"Look here Huggy Bear you're not asking my brother to be your glory hole model."

Ash snorted as he pulled out the hole saw, "I'm sure this one will be fine?" He said as he held up a saw drill bit that was only about one and half inches.

"Yeah for a needle dick," Dean said as he looked at the item in the other man's hand before turning his attention back to Jo. "Does your mom know about this?"

"Of course she does, we had a lovely mother and daughter discussion about the wonders of a glory hole and how it could boost business," Jo said with a roll of her eyes.

"Cute," Dean said.

"Look you know better hunting isn't very lucrative. This just helps with expenses and they were hooking up back there anyways. So I make sure it's kept clean and everyone is safe because if you don't latex up you ain't getting in." Jo explained.

"You're such a good little pimp," Dean teased.

"I prefer 'Stress Relief Guru' if you have to stick a label to it. Come on Dean be a sport, whip little Deano out so I can provide this much appreciated service." Jo said as she cocked her eyebrow and gave Dean a naughty grin.

Dean shot a look at Ash, "well I'm not putting on a show. I think Jo can handle the measurements on her own."

Jo smirked at Dean and said she could definitely handle it as she gave him a saucy wink. Ash groaned as he put the hole saw down and said, "don't forget to sand it…don't want anyone getting a splinter in this dick."

Dean watched as Ash went back out into the bar before closing the distance between him and Jo, getting into the blonde's personal space. He grinned as he gazed down into her eyes as he unzipped his jeans.

Jo chewed on her lower lip as she let her eyes travel down Dean's body and finally saw his rapidly hardening cock and quipped, "I think I'm gonna need a bigger saw."

The End

A/N: Okay I know that was horrible on so many levels but I had to do it. I read this article about the movie Glorious by Rebekah McKendry and when I read the following comment I just had to write a silly little one shot based on this.

""You would not believe how many on-set awkward discussions I had to have about glory holes," says McKendry. "We were constructing the bathroom and our amazing set person is holding this massive drill. He looks at me and he goes, 'How wide is this thing supposed to be?' We all just look at each other and we're like: What is regulation glory-hole width? It turned into a 35-minute conversation."

From Entertainment Weekly.