While this entire thing was written by Uncredited (That's not his actual account name. He wanted to be credited as Uncredited.), we bounced ideas off of each other when it came to making this. He gave me permission to upload this to my own account because I guess he didn't want to upload it himself. This was initially supposed to be a YouTube video of sorts, but due to busy schedules and us not completely knowing what the hell we were doing, the video ended up being scrapped. This final version of the fanfiction (which was meant to act as a script) was written back in January 3rd, 2021 and is mostly unedited (I will not be fixing any errors.) with only a few unnecessary headers removed. We initially thought it was lost media, but we realized the document was uploaded to a largely inactive Discord server where we planned on making the now completely scrapped video.
The characters in here are all owned by Nickelodeon. What a big surprise.
The skies of Southern Vietnam were drenched in orange from the evening sun. The only sound that could be heard was the roaring of the oncoming helicopter. Inside carried an elite unit of commandos, Carly, Sam, Freddie, Gibby, and Spencer, the oldest. Most of them immediately went into service after high school. They were specially trained by the U.S., and kept completely off the record. They didn't have a normal experience with military training, as the higher ups didn't even fully trust all of their soldiers. Anyways, this unit, the I-squad, were all targeted for this top secret training because of their inate ability to escape even the weirdest of events, and could come up with a solution to any problem.
Having been asleep for most of the ride, Freddie stood up and yawned.
"Do you guys even think we have a chance of finding them alive?"
Sam stood up and smacked him across the face with her non-lethal butter sock
"Of course we will dipshit, they wouldn't have sent us if they thought they were dead."
All of them were startled as they all thought they heard a demented laugh track coming from the sky. Gibby stood up and whispered the only word he could say after the incident.
"Gibby"
They had been sent to find out what happened to the V-Squad, a similar unit that went M.I.A. They met once or twice, but had no real connection, which was probably the reason they were sent to find out what happened to them.
The helicopter finally landed in a remote part of the country, far from even their side's troops, as they still needed to not be seen by anyone. Once they all got out, they began work on forming a plan. Spencer unrolled his homemade map he made based off of what he saw when they were above.
"There are multiple stations of the enemy troops scattered throughout this area. I say we go for the biggest one and take one of them prisoners, the rest are expendable. We probably need to get back in the copter and discreetly drop down. Once we're inside, you all know what to do".
Just then they were interrupted by a growl from the forest near where their copter had landed. Freddie gasped, got a hold of himself, and quickly started drawing a circle in the grass around everyone. Gibby let out a nervous "Gibby".
"Sea Bears, I didn't expect we would find them so early." Carly said surprised. They had heard of them in the extra long mission briefing they were given, and they knew how to avoid conflict with them.
"Can't we just fucking shoot them? Sam asked, looking amusedly at Freddie still finishing the circle around all of them.
"Waste of ammo. Besides, if we make any noise, we could attract something far worse." Spencer said, inspecting Freddie's circle to make sure it was not an oval.
Suddenly a pack of the seabears emerged from the forest and surrounded them on all sides. They stood still as the seabears roared at them frustratedly, unable to reach them through the circle.
Several minutes passed, and the seabears showed no signs of giving up.
"How long do you think they'll stay here?" Freddie asked, showing signs of boredom.
"Shouldn't be too much longer, they're persistent but eventually they'll move on" Spencer said.
Just then a branch in the forest snapped, followed by an annoying high pitched voice.
"hEy, jUsT wHAt iS GoINg oN oVER HeRE?" Shouted Fred Figglehorn. The whole unit sighed. Fred was originally set for commando training, but he was such an annoying shit they sent him out into the regular army, which still didn't stop him from being an obnoxious fucker. Someone must have spotted the helicopter landing and sent him to check it out.
The whole squad had to hold back laughter as the seabears shifted their attention to him and began to swarm him. He let out a series of yells and high pitched noises, firing his gun randomly as they dragged him back into the forest, never to be seen again. As the group was celebrating, all of them were startled by even louder growls and stomping of hooves again coming from within the forest. They all knew what was coming as a big pack of sea rhinoceroses emerged from the same forest the sea bears dragged Fred into.
"Did everyone remember the anti-sea rhinoceros underwear?" Carly asked as the pack was approaching them.
Freddie started visibly sweating, and the whole group knew what was about to happen. One of the sea rhinoceroses grabbed him from the circle, and the whole pack opened up a can of whoopass on him. The squad knew there was no saving him, as the sea rhinos were bulletproof. They dragged him into the same forest Fred met his fate in.
They were all shocked, before they came to their senses. They didn't have time to mourn. They needed to get out of there fast before anyone came to check out what that noise was.
They had to fly high to avoid any detection while spencer pointed out what camp they were targeting. When they reached it, they contemplated how they would go about entering it.
"How the hell are we gonna get down there without being detected?" Sam asked.
"We obviously cant land the copter anywhere near there, and if they see us parachuting, they could shoot us dow-"
Just then Gibby let out a loud "GIBBY!" as he jumped out of the copter with no parachute. When he reached the ground, his epic belly flop caused a massive shockwave that seemingly killed every soldier in site. Spencer sighed as he landed the chopper directly inside of the base. They scrounged the area looking to see if anyone had survived. No one did, they all died from the massive shockwave. When they came to the conclusion that there were no survivors, they searched the area in hopes of finding any clues towards the mysterious disappearance of the V-Squad. They scavenged through every building in site and found nothing. They gave up and reconvened around the copter to formulate their next move.
"Well, that was a fruitless endeavor" Spencer said. The demonic laugh track erupted from the sky again, but at this point they were used to it.
They were thrown off by a rustling in the branches. They all raised their weapons, but they grew confused at the sound of a familiar voice. Freddie emerged in tact with no visible marks from the forests with his hands up shouting.
"Hey guys, it's just me" he stopped running and casually walked up to them.
They were all in shock, spencer was the first one to speak up.
"How did you survive the sea Rhinoceros attack? Those are lethal."
Freddie smiled and said:
"Well, I was lying on the ground bleeding out when these two short people with wings approached me. They said they could grant me wishes, so obviously I wished to be healed, and then I wished to find you guys. So, find anything about the missing u-".
The group stared in shock at the bullet hole square in Freddie's head, and then their training overtook them. They dropped to the ground, standing as still as possible, their uniforms blending in with the tall grassy ground of the base. Spencer held up his hand, just enough for the group to see it without rising above the grass. He motioned toward a tall tree in the distance, The squad didn't need to ask. Gibby silently withdrew his sniper rifle and aimed it towards the tree. When he saw a glint from the sun coming from a high branch of the tree, he fired. The group heard screaming, and then they heard a loud crunch from the fall.
They stood up and ran toward the sound. They were shocked at what was lying there before them. It was a dead Robbie and Rex, from the V-Squad. Freddie joined them in staring down at the carcasses.
"This isn't right, why would they shoot us? They know who we are!" he said in disbelied.
"Gibby'.
"There's no way he mistook us for typical soldiers, we were in plain view of him. " Sam muttered.
The group all knew the truth, but did not want to accept it. They just couldn't accept that a group of elite commandos would defect like that. There was a long silence, before they heard a coughing. They peered down at the muppet-like rex, who was still very much alive. Robbie was less fortunate, and didn't survive the fall.
Because Rex was connected to Robbie, they had to drag both of them into a small building within the camp. When they thought Rex had recovered enough, the questions started.
"Why would your squad turn?" Carly asked demandingly.
"I ain't tellin yall shit." The puppet replied.
"We have ways of making you talk" Sam said, taking out her butter sock.
"You can't do shit to me, isn't torture against the enemy still illegal?", the smartass replied.
The unit smiled at eachother.
"Well then I guess its time for…" Carly said, looking at a nonexistent camera.
"RANDOM WAR CRIMES!"
Spencer drew out a small handmade radio and blasted 100 gecs as they tortured Rex.
When they finally got information out of the annoying puppet, they were surprised to hear why they turned.
"Y' see, we v-squadders don't like capitalism, because Beyonce stole Tori's song and she got no credit for it. When the government offered us this job, we accepted with the full intention to defect. Now, we have it pretty good with communism, even if that means killing you shitheads."
Sam gave him a final proverbial slap with the butter sock, throwing him against the wall and detaching him from Robbie's arm, killing him.
Before the group had a chance to dwell on what he just said, the sound of a helicopter landing and a gunshot erupted from outside. They stepped out to find the V-squad standing in front of them. The only one Sam knew personally wasn't there, because she became a successful musician.
"Well well well if it ain't you pricks" Trina said with a sarcastic grin.
"GIBBY".
"Gibby's right" Carly said, "We can do this two way, either y'all come with us and be tried for treason or we kill you on the spot."
Jade grimaced.
"What makes you think we won't go without taking you with us? Besides, we all know you just killed Rex, so there's no way we're all making it back to the states alive.
Both squads stayed in silence for what felt like the better part of an hour, knowing that if they made any sudden moves both squads would open fire. Spencer looked thoughtfully for a while before coming up with a solution. He started doing some awkward stretches, and the V-Squad looked at him confused. Then, the demonic laugh track erupted from the sky, which caught the entire v-squad off guard. The I-squad, used to it by now, opened fire, killing Beck and Trina instantly.
The noise from the gunfire caused a stirring in the nearby woods, a pack of Ren and Stimpys came hurdling out of them, and both squads scrambled for their helicopters. Sam and Freddie were caught in the stampede, and I-squad had no choice but to leave them behind.
V-Squad was now in retreat in their helicopter, while the I-squad followed them in pursuit. Sinjin stuck his head out of the v-squad copter with a sniper in hand. He aimed and fired, and struck spencer, who was piloting the copter, in the shoulder, Gibby tore him out of the seat and took up the piloting. A sudden burst of wind gave him enough speed to be side by side with the opposing copter, and he tilted it slightly, scratching up the other copter, and catching Sinjin in the blades. Suddenly, Gibby lost control, and accidentally struck the helicopter with his blades again, destroying his helicopter blades in the process.
The crash was brutal, both copters landed in an open field. Carly was the sole survivor of the crash of her helicopter, and she limped over to the enemy one. Tori crawled out, and fell onto the field. Freddie walked over and stood by Carly, who withdrew her revolver, and was about to shoot Tori, but decided against it.
"No, you just lost all of your friends, and it's all your fault, you need to live with that now."
Suddenly an unfamiliar voice abrupdtedly interjected.
'NO, NO, NO, you need to kill her! It's the whole reason why you're here!" Spongebob stepped on to the field, seemingly out of nowhere.
"You orchestrated all of this, didn't you?" Carly said with a sudden realization.
"Yes" he said. "You two took away time from me on Nick, and with you out of the picture, that'll never happen again! Nick is supposed to be constant sponegbob reruns!"
"But both our shows got cancelled." Carly said confused.
"And besides, aren't there other shows on Nick you should be worried about?" Tori said.
"There's too great a chance for a revival of both your shows, and the other ones have already been taken care of. They were in the same place as you."
"Vietnam?"
"No dumbass, we're in a giant dome under the sea! That's how there were sea bears and sea rhinos!" Spongebob said proudly.
"Im confused" Carly said. "Can you explain your entire plan in full like normal villains"
"Well, I knew how easy it would be to deceive you all when you thought you were joining a war that ended 46 fucking years ago. I was the one who orchestrated all your "special training", making it easier to kill each other. I didn't do the same to the other shows because they were easier to dispose of. They were the ones who made up both sides of the "normal military" you saw on the battlefield. They all died due to random attacks or killing each other. Now, it's just you three that stand in my way, and now it looks like I'll have to do it myself," He said, pulling out a large gun.
"Don't worry guys!" Freddie said as he unzipped himself. He took off his costume and became a gorilla. Spongebob tried to fire at him, but he couldn't hit him, and the gorilla seized him and tore him in half.
Spongebob screamed "Oh no not again!" as the gorilla hopped onto his horse and rode into the sunset.
"That's great" Tori said, "But how are we gonna get out of here?"