Chapter 1: A Misplaced Blade

Emiya Shirou was stuck. He has been in numerous perilous situations in the past, but the situation he was in right now was arguably the most dangerous situation he had been in his life.

"Emiya Shirou," A tall man in a suit and graying hair was looking down on him with a stony expression on his face. "I've been looking for you."

"What do you need, Wizard Marshall?" Shirou asked. Normally, he wouldn't be so stiff, but Rin had made sure that Shirou would treat her teacher with the utmost respect.

"You see, my student has hit a bit of a rut when it comes to learning the second magic," Zelretch explained. Despite his stoic appearance, there was a twinkle of amusement in his eyes. "In light of that, I came up with a sort of plan to help motivate her to make a breakthrough. The thing is, I need you for it to work."

"Well, if it's to help Rin, then I'll be glad to do it," Shirou didn't even think before replying. Hell, even if it was for a stranger, he would have agreed to help before asking a single question.

"Wonderful," A smile formed on the Ancestor's aged features. "I'm sure that you'll enjoy your vacation, then."

"Vacation?" Shirou tilted his head.

"Ah, yes. I'm sure that Tohsaka will be able to pick you up in a few months,' Zelretch replied. Something about his smile put Shriou on edge. "Until then, I hope you enjoy your time, Second Magus Killer."

Before Shirou could reply, Zelretch snapped his fingers, and Shirou's world went black.

Shirou's eyes flew open as the sound of a digital alarm clock. He shot up, his magic circuits thrumming to life. He looked around to find himself in what looked like a modern room. He turned to the source of the noise to see a nightstand with an alarm clock, a piece of paper, and two cards. Upo9n closer inspection, the cards were an ID and a debit card.

Shirou turned off the alarm clock and took the piece of paper and started to read the contents.

Emiya Shirou,

I hope you like what I've done. You have no idea how hard it is to set things up from a different dimension. Anyways, welcome to your new home! For a while, I considered sending you to a different dimension, but as much as it would amuse me to send you off somewhere else, sending you here was for my student, though I'm sure you'll provide enough entertainment here.

I set up an ID for you and set you up for a special government job. Luckily, you get to work from home. The debit card was provided to you by the government. I'm sure you'll be getting a phone call from some government agent within the next 48 hours. Until then, the fridge is stocked so help yourself.

-Kischur Zelretch Schweinorg

Shirou couldn't help but sigh. In hindsight, he should have expected something like this. Well, if it was to help Rin, he didn't mind staying somewhere else for a few months, even if that somewhere was a different dimension.

Well, I might as well see what's in the fridge, Shirou thought to himself as he got up. He hoped that this government job wouldn't be too difficult.

Kuroko Smith sighed as she looked at the elf in front of her. Ever since she arrived in Japan from the forests of Sweden, she made sure to be as difficult as possible. The elven princess, Tisha Leokas had silky smooth blond hair that barely went down to her shoulder and ocean blue eyes. She wore a green tunic and light brown leather pants. She was glaring at Ms. Smith with burning hatred that directly opposed her otherwise serene appearance.

"Alright, I have all the paperwork here. All you need to do is sign," Ms. Smith resisted the urge to rub her temples as she placed the stack of papers in front of the elf.

"Why must I sign such parchments to carry Knivhuggare on my person?!" Tisha slammed her hands on the desk, her eyes locked on Ms. Smith's.

"Ms. Leokas, your family had to jump through many hoops to allow you to carry your sword during this program," Ms. Smith said through gritted teeth and a customer service smile. If it were up to her, she wouldn't have let the sword in the country, but considering how important it was to the Leokas family, the royal family of the Swedish Elves, and how much political power they had, Tisha was allowed to bring the blade with her to Japan.

"Fine," Tisha said with a huff before sitting down to fill out the paperwork. While she did that, Ms. Smith looked at the prospective hosts that would fit the best with Tisha. Ideally, she could send Tisha to a host who knew some form of martial arts so they could defend themself if the need arose.

"Done!" After a few minutes of silence, Tisha stood up triumphantly.

"Good for you. We still have to find the correct host for you, so please be patient," Ms. Smith replied.

"You mean you haven't—!" Ms. Smith tuned out the loud elf as she continued to look at the hosts available.

I could always send her to Darling, Ms. Smith thought. Even if the man wasn't physically capable, he had enough liminals to protect him. Just when she was about to fill the paperwork out, her eyes flickered over to another paper.

Emiya Shirou. Hobbies include kendo, archery, and cooking, Ms. Smith read silently. Looks like he's awaiting his first liminal.

Ms. Smith smiled, knowing exactly what she was going to do.

Shirou was surprised with the house he had been placed in. It wasn't the size of the Emiya estate, but it was a sizable two-story five bedrooms and three bathrooms. Shirou had no idea why Zelretch set him up in such a big house, but he didn't complain. The kitchen was amazing, with state of the art refrigerators, stoves, and ovens, but the lack of people to share his cooking with put a dampener on breakfast.

The backyard was vast, but empty. Luckily, Shirou had been improving his magecraft to the point where he could not only project a bow and arrow, but he could project a target long enough to do his daily kyoudou rituals until he could buy his own equipment.

Shirou wiped a bead of sweat from his forehead as the target dissipated into particles of light along with the bow and arrows he projected. He walked back into the house, ready to take a shower when the home phone rang. Shirou walked over to the phone and picked it up.

"Emiya residence," Shirou said almost instinctively. Even when he lived in a dorm with Rin, he answered the same way.

"Is this Shirou Emiya?" A female voice spoke.

"Yes, that's me," Shriou replied.

"Perfect. This is your handler, Kuroko Smith, but you can call me Ms. Smith," The female voice said with a sigh of relief. "You'll be receiving your first liminal in six hours. We just wanted you to have some notice before she came."

"Liminal?" Shirou asked, confused.

"You didn't read the handbook that we left in the living room?" Ms. Smith sounded shocked. "Actually, didn't you sign up for this? How do you not know what a liminal is?"

"Well, I got this job due to… extenuating circumstances," Shirou said. He didn't think the woman would believe him if he told her that an interdimensional vampire sent him here on a whim. "I just moved in, so I'm still exploring the house."

"I see," An exasperated sigh was heard from the other side. "Well, get familiar with the handbook, because you're going to need it."

"Thank—" Shirou was cut off when Ms. Smith cut the line.

"Well, now I have an idea of what I need to do," Shirou said as he made his way to the living room to see a small handbook set neatly at the center of the coffee table.

"Let's see what this job entails," Shirou sat down and cracked open the handbook.

Damn you Zelretch, Shirou had his head resting on his hands, the ha\ndbook impaled on the desk by Kanshou. He had to care for Root-damned Phantasmal Beasts. Half the Phantasmal Beasts were extinct in his home dimension! And even worse, vampires were a part of that list! What if Shirou had to care for an actual Dead Apostle?

"I'm so fucked," Shirou grumbled with a defeated tone. After a few minutes, Shirou heard a knock on the door.

It couldn't have been more than an hour since that phone call, Shirou thought as he got up. He dismissed Kanshou, but he still had the mental hammer cocked, just in case the person at the door was hostile.

"Who is it?" Shirou asked cautiously as he stopped at the door.

"Kuroko Smith," A familiar voice answered from the other side. "Can you please let us in? A certain someone was a bit too antsy for me to finish all the paperwork in the office."

"I'm not antsy!" Another female voice shouted. "I just want to get this over with."

Shirou apprehensively opened the door. Before him were two women. It didn't take a genius to discern who was who, unless the government hired elves, and the handbook didn't say anything about that.

"Thank you," Ms. Smith let herself in with a smile. "This here is Tisha Leokart, your first liminal."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Shirou did his best to put up a pleasant smile, but Tisha only responded with a glare.

"Try anything and you're dead," Tisha put a hand on the hilt of her sword. Shirou tensed again, ready to fight at a moment's notice. Since the elf had yet to unsheathe her blade, he couldn't analyze it.

"I'll be sure to keep that in mind," Shirou held his hands up in a gesture of peace. "Anyways, would either of you like something to eat? I was just about to get started on lunch."

"I'll take anything you have," Ms. Smith said with a casual wave before sitting down at the table.

"I don't eat meat," Tisha replied with a glare before going to join Ms. Smith, who was laying out a small stack of papers on the desk.

Shirou went over to the kitchen, his mind instantly focused on the task before him. All the weirdness from the current situation was put on the backburner as cooking took the forefront.

"Actually, it's quite convenient that we're here, since I have to ask you a few questions to finish up this paperwork," Ms. Smith said.

"Alright," Shirou replied as he started to prepare a block of tofu to be pan-fried.

"Emiya Shirou is your full legal name, right?" Ms. Smith asked.

"That is correct," Shirou responded, throwing a bit of garlic into the pan.

"Do you have any experience with liminals in the past?"

"Not really."

"Why did you apply to become a host?"

"Well… I guess I just wanted to help people out," Shirou took a second to think. He blended what little he knew from the handbook and the truth about himself, rather than the circumstance that he was thrust into in his answer. "When I heard that these people wanted to learn more about our culture, I thought I could help. After all, it's not wrong to help people."

"People?" Ms. Smith asked. Shirou didn't have to turn around to feel the amount of miasma emanating from the elf behind him.

"Well, just because they're not human, doesn't mean they're not people," Shirou responded evenly as he grabbed the finished product of his work and placed it in front of his guests. "Please enjoy. It's Pan-fried garlic tofu."

"Well, you've got a good head on your shoulders," Ms. Smith clasped her hands in prayer as she stared hungrily at the food.

I'm starting to get deja vu, Shirou couldn't help but chuckle as he watched Ms. Smith dig into her food. Despite her professional attire, she acted almost identical to a certain tiger.

"How is it?" Shirou turned to Tisha, who looked like she was trying not to enjoy the food thoroughly, but failing.

"It's… passable," Tisha replied, trying not to smile.

"I'm glad," Shirou replied genuinely. Shirou was always happy when others enjoyed his cooking. The two were interrupted by a phone ringing.

"Ah, looks like duty calls! Here's my business card! Call me if you need help!" Ms. Smith shot up from her seat, placed a business card on the table and dashed out of the house at lightning speed, leaving the card and an empty bowl.

"I'll get that," Shirou grumbled as he picked up the dish and made his way to the sink.

Yup, he thought, just like Taiga.

Ms. Smith sighed as she drove away from the house. She may be lazy and irresponsible, but she was a sharp woman. She knew when someone was lying. Surprisingly, Shirou was an honest and upfront person, but he did lie on one thing.

"Do you have any experience with liminals in the past?"

"Not really."

The kid was terrible at lying, but that particular question brought some intrigue. Hosts who dealt with liminals in the past were either great hosts, or the type of person that the government really didn't want as a host.

"Emiya Shirou…" Ms. Smith muttered to herself. She really hoped he wasn't the second type. He was an excellent chef. "I'm expecting many things from you."

And scene! This is my first actual fate fic, so I'm not sure how well I characterized Shirou and Zelretch. Constructive feedback is appreciated. I'd like to give props to Mundatorem here on because this story is loosely based off "Miss Kobayashi Magus Neighbor"

I hope you enjoyed this first chapter and I hope you continue to follow this story. Please R&R. Thank you!