A/N: I know that I already have several fics that are on hiatus as of now, but my real issue is the fact that it's been a chaotic time lately. Of course, now that we are in the process of moving, it doesn't make things any less so. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Summary: Merlin has been watching and waiting for them to come back ever since they left so long ago. It had been a promise he made that almost seemed silly at the time, but they had saved him in more ways than one.
Healing Wounds
Merlin sat on the shore with his bare feet on the shore and sighed, remembering better times when he didn't feel so lonely all of the time. Narnia had changed so much since he had first arrived so long ago. He could still recall back when the magic of the land was so alive, something that could be seen and felt in the very air that surrounded you. Now things were so different and he could barely sense it anymore. It had, quite sadly, been almost a few hundred years* that had passed since what the Narnians had dubbed the Golden Age of Narnia. Yet, here he still waited as a sentry of sorts, just as he had promised so long ago. Looking over what seemed like a never-ending series of ripples in the water, he watched them calm as ever and thought back to when he had first arrived here in Narnia.
He could barely remember a lot of it, being as sick and injured as he was at the time. The one thing that never would leave him, though, was that smirk of hers that he had grown to hate more than anything else. He thought it looked so very wrong on someone who used to be so kind and beautiful before she became someone else entirely. He still blamed himself for that some days, knowing that he shouldn't have let others influence his choices so easily. He still wasn't sure what would have happened if he had just told her about his own magic in the beginning, but as he watched her leave that night he knew something had broken between them. He knew things wouldn't be the same after that and sometimes he really hated being right.
He could do nothing but watch as things just continued to go downhill, even if she was still a bit on the naive side with her magic until Morgause showed up. If there was one thing he never truly forgave himself for, it was that day he was forced to poison her. He never forgot that look on her face, which was one of surprise, fright, and betrayal. He supposed that it was only fair that she would inevitably return the favor one day, albeit in a much slower and crueler fashion. He never did figure out if she had known about his magic or just accused him of it as a way to get him executed out of sheer spite. Regardless, he had barely escaped a death sentence and still spent several days in the dungeons while his punishment was being decided. He was sure that it angered her when Arthur, acting as the regent at the time, had decided that he wasn't able to kill Merlin. It couldn't be proven one way or the other, but Merlin was sure that being Arthur's manservant had played a large part in his escaping execution. Even if they were close friends, there was only so much Arthur could do, so Merlin was banished and could never return. He knew that if he ever returned he would undoubtedly be killed on sight, but Morgana had wanted to make sure he wouldn't get that far apparently. As a last act of kindness, he was given a horse that had been prepared for his long journey and he should have remembered Morgana's subtle threats. He had thought she would just be glad he was out of Camelot forever and never able to return. He should have known better.
No. She wanted him to suffer for what he had done, painfully, and for as long as possible. All of these years later, and he still had yet to really figure out how she had done it. If he had to guess, he would place his bet on her getting help from Morgause and putting it in his water. All he did know was that by the time he had figured out how ill he truly was, it had been far too late to do anything about it. After the sickness had without a doubt set in, he found himself getting disorientated from the headaches and blurry vision at times. Initially, he had wanted to go back to see his mother in Ealdor for at least a little while, but as he went on, he realized that even on one of Arthur's better horses he "didn't want to be bothered with anymore" it just wasn't possible. Even if he had the stamina to push the horse for as long as he could, he knew that the creature would probably last longer than him at this rate. He had already fallen off twice and gotten some broken ribs and hurt his head, which didn't help matters at all. He knew deep inside that the next time he closed his eyes, it was very possible that they would never reopen again. He used what little energy he had left and unloaded what he could from the horse. His headache had returned in full force because of all of the labor, but at least his vision was still okay. Knowing that it would take the last of what little energy he had left, he placed some of his magic into the horse, having felt all of the magic that surrounded him. He could only hope that this horse would have a new master that would treat him well. Lacking the strength to remain on his feet much longer, he staggered a few steps and fell face first on the grass managing to bring a blinding pain as he hit his ribs. Barely able to move, he rolled onto his side to alleviate at least some of the pain. As he struggled to keep his eyes open, his last thought was that he must be hallucinating as he heard the roar of a lion, followed by a deep rumbling voice.
"Emrys."
It had been the strange sensation that woke him up, like some feeling of being carried up into the clouds. He could still remember somehow managing to stay half awake in a pain-induced haze, only to feel a drop of something try to enter his mouth. He reflexively tried to turn his head away from what could possibly be yet another poison, but he felt a pair of gentle hands guide him back to make sure he swallowed it. Expecting nothing but pain in the immediate future, he tensed and tried to fight as much as someone in his weak state was able to. He sensed that same pair of hands running through his hair, trying to get him to relax. He found himself remembering times when he was sick or had been bullied and his mother had done the same thing and found he was relaxing unconsciously. He suspected that this was a healer or physician and could feel the pain gradually fading from his body. He tried to get a glimpse at the one who had saved him, only to receive a somewhat relieved look in return. She looked rather young, he noticed and wanted to ask about it. He felt as if he could sleep for days and wanted nothing more than to close his eyes.
"You'll probably feel tired for a while yet. You barely made it and we almost didn't make it in time, Emrys." the mystery healer told him quietly.
Merlin frowned slightly at hearing the name that he had heard the druids call him, but couldn't help but succumb to a deep and healing sleep before he could ask her about it.
The next time he woke up, it was even more confusing than the last time. He still had no real idea where he was, but for some odd reason he felt safe. Things were fairly foggy at best, but he could still unfortunately remember all the pain that Morgana had make sure he would have to endure until his inevitable end. He had been so sure that he was going to die and that he would never wake up again, and yet somehow that young healer was able to save him from the brink of death. He had no idea how she had done it, but it had been nothing less than astounding for sure. He knew that he had had patients that he knew were at death's door before and he was no good at most healing spells. However, most of his supplies were gone now, along with the rest of his things. Sighing, he stood up and thought maybe he could find the nearest village and ask for work. Looking up, he noticed the young healer from the other day enter the colorful medium-sized tent he was in, who was followed by two others. She was dressed in what could be described as something flowing and yet casual at the same time. He could tell that she was royalty of some type by the way she carried herself, as was one of the people behind her. Having no real idea who she was, he shrugged mentally and fell back to how things were when he served Arthur.
"I had noticed your clothes were in fairly bad shape, so we've brought you some new ones to wear."
Merlin tried his best to hide his shock, knowing that his own clothes had indeed gotten even more torn than they were previously. Biting his lip, he forced aside all of the burning questions he had and accepted what were very nice clothes from the person who had trailed behind the healer. She could obviously sense his need for answers and smiled at him knowingly.
"Change into those and then come outside. I will then answer your questions, Emrys."
He nodded, knowing that he would receive no answers for now. The one who had given him the clothes retreated after her, leading him to believe that they were a maidservant. The other person had never spoken a word, but merely watched the exchange for information or just out of curiosity. Changing into the clothes he was given, he noticed they were nothing like his old ones. They felt very comfortable and something that someone that he would never be able to afford. However, now that he was dressed, he felt somewhat nervous. Yes, he wanted answers about how they knew about him and where he was. But were they just going to use him for his magic or were they genuinely nice people? Above all, Merlin felt lost and confused. Lifting the flap on the tent, he walked out and looked for one of the few people he had seen so far and noticed the girl first. She was walking back from somewhere with a big smile on her face. Thinking back, Merlin thought that he much preferred that over the relieved yet worried one from earlier. She invited him over to come to sit with both her and the person from earlier at a small table filled with different types of food. Having been a manservant for so long, he waited for permission to sit down and did so rather uncomfortably. He wasn't used to eating with anyone of higher standing than him and it made him very nervous, to say the least. She looked at him in obvious comprehension and then looked at her…companion or bodyguard before smiling.
"Emrys, you should eat. I am sure that after everything that has happened, you are quite famished. I know you have questions, so we will start with some introductions. I am Queen Lucy of the Glistening Eastern Sea and this is my brother beside me, King Edmund the Just of the Western Wood."
Merlin was more confused than ever, as he had never heard of such places before, and looked between the two. Was it possible that they were related and sharing the throne? It wasn't entirely unheard of, although it was exceptionally rare. Most families fought over the throne and titles, even going so far as to kill their own family. However, he couldn't get passed how alike they seemed. While it seemed that Edmund was the type to observe before speaking his mind, Lucy seemed very genuine and the type of person who spoke whatever she thought. Taking a drink of something that was warm with a hint of spice, he thought about what he should do next. He was still lost and now apparently in the company of royalty. While Lucy seemed nice enough, his time in Camelot had taught him to be cautious around people if nothing else.
"It is a pleasure to meet you both, but how do you know the name Emrys if I may be so bold?" Merlin asked carefully.
Lucy and Edmund exchanged a quick glance before she nodded. She politely gave Edmund some time before smiling at him in a noticeably assuring way. Merlin could only assume that whatever he had on his mind was difficult to talk about in some way and chose to be patient about the matter. When Edmund had finally visibly collected himself, he looked straight at Merlin.
"According to Lucy, you came fairly close to dying and she was almost to late to save you. She said that while she was checking you over she had also noticed some scars that looked like battle wounds of a sort, yes?" Edmund started, apparently trying to ease into things a bit.
Merlin's closed his eyes for a moment, trying not to think of a few of those times that he had gotten wounds protecting those who he would never see again. He knew that Arthur had done his best trying to be both fair and keep Merlin alive at the same time, but he had almost died anyways. Looking back at Edmund, he nodded solemnly as he tried to shake off the memories of the past.
"Yes, I've been in a few…conflicts, I guess you could say." Merlin replied, trying not to think about it too much. If Edmund and Lucy noticed, they didn't say anything or let it show in their expressions.
Taking a deep breath, Edmund remembered several of his own, but one in particular that he particularly hated thinking about. On the battlefield of Beruna with the White Witch, Jadis, who was someone he still had nightmares about. He could still remember his brother, Peter yelling at him across the battlefield to get the girls and to get them home. However, he had seen Jadis obviously targeting his brother and his body just moved on its own. Maybe some part of him just felt like he owed it to everyone for what he had done, but in the end, he had at least destroyed her wand before she stabbed him. He could still hear Peter yelling and calling his name, which almost hurt as much as what she had done. As he fell onto the hard ground, he had thought to himself that maybe he had finally done something good for once.
Lucy looked at her brother and bit her lip. She knew what he was thinking about and it frightened her to this day to realize just how much that day had really scared her. She thought that she was truly going to lose her brother that day, and if not for her cordial she probably would have. She held his hand for a moment, to bring him back and noticed that Emrys was sitting there patiently with a sad and yet understanding look on his face. She wondered just how much he had had to deal with before they found him, and yet barely saved him. Maybe this was one of the reasons that Aslan had led her to him. He was one of the few that could probably help her brother because she understood that somehow he knew what it was like. She smiled at him before turning back to Edmund, who squeezed her hand and gave her a small smile of his own. It was one of apology and she knew she could never fully understand. Merlin was of two minds, wondering if he should say something or just let them be. However, in the end, he decided to do what he had usually done with Arthur and spoke gently.
"I understand what it is like, on the edge of dying and wondering if maybe it is what you deserve for your mistakes in life. I have made mistakes and listened to people when I should have maybe decided things on my own. Maybe I still think that I deserved what was done to me for what I have done, but it is in the past and there is no changing that. All I can do is move forward and hope to never make the same mistakes again."
Edmund looked at Merlin with wide eyes, both wondering what he had done and how he could have known just what he needed to hear. He knew that he should move forward and forget about his mistakes, but somehow he always felt like he was still branded a traitor. He thought that people stared at him in disgust, waiting for him to turn on them like he had his own blood. He could feel the tears in his eyes and spill down his face. Merlin looked somewhat horrified, not meaning to make him cry and looked at Lucy who was…smiling?
Lucy smiled sadly and hugged her older brother, glad that his inner wounds were finally beginning to heal. Yes, he'd had to have them opened again, but she was thankful for Emrys and his ability to start the process. Looking at him, she tried not to laugh. It was quite apparent that he felt bad for making her brother cry and was at a loss as to what he should do.
"I thank you, Emrys. My brother has been tormenting himself for a good while, even if he thinks that we do not know about it. I somehow knew that you were able to understand and was hoping that you would be able to help him." Lucy told him quietly, while her brother relaxed in her arms. She didn't know why, but they both knew that Emrys wouldn't think any less of them if they acted like this and not like the royalty they were. He just smiled at her, understanding that everyone had to be weak sometimes.
"If I may, I would suggest that we continue our discussion at a later time if that is acceptable. It would give him time to think and rest." Merlin proposed, thinking that Edmund was really in no shape to continue. After a moment, he continued. "If you'd like, I was a manservant and an apprentice to a physician. I could help, if you want."
Lucy blinked and shook her head in wonder at him. Here he was, a guest of theirs and barely over his own illness, and he was offering to help her brother to his tent and check him over. He truly was a kind soul and she was beginning to understand why Aslan had led her to him. He needed their help as much as they needed his.
"I know that you want to help, Emrys, truly. However, you are barely recovering yourself and you are a guest. We have our own people that will help. I will be right back in a moment if you would kindly wait here."
Merlin sighed internally and nodded. He knew better than to argue with anyone other than Arthur and he didn't really know them all too well. He watched as a few people helped both Lucy and Edmund make it back to his tent. It took everything he had not to follow, especially seeing how pale Edmund looked. He didn't like it, but he decided that following orders was better than trying to find his way around a land he knew nothing about. If nothing else, he would do his best to make them happy. They were allowing him to stay as a guest in a land he knew nothing about and they had saved him. The least he could do was follow a simple order of remaining in one spot. Sighing, he remembered the way Arthur would always complain that he was the worst servant ever. He would miss him and Gwen, but maybe Gaius the most. He had taught him so many things and he would never forget that. He'd barely had the chance to say goodbye to all of them, but it was probably for the best. He just hoped they were okay. He knew that Arthur would think he'd probably gone back to Ealdor, which had been his plan. So if he actually needed Merlin's help because of Morgana and Morgause, he would undoubtedly never be able to find him. Lucy came back and sat next to him, looking somewhat relieved, presumably because her brother was resting.
"He's finally decided that rest would be good for him," she told Merlin, who couldn't help but laugh at her statement.
"Yes, I have a bit of experience dealing with somewhat obstinate people who don't wish to do what is best for them. It usually ended up with some threatening to put me in the stocks for a day, but I always knew he never meant it. We were fairly close, but-" Merlin stopped himself, feeling both nostalgic and sad thinking about the past.
He felt a hand grab his own and flinched a bit, before smiling at her apologetically. He was going to confess his reason, but she shook her head to stop him for some reason. It was actually a relief of a sort, as he didn't really feel like explaining why he felt the way he did if someone touched him unexpectedly. It reminded him too much of Morgana in so many ways and he had already opened so many wounds of his own as it was. Instead, she gave him a small smile.
"I suppose we'll have to leave where Edmund was and let him continue later, perhaps when he is feeling less exhausted."
For some reason, that statement set off alarm bells in Merlin's head and he didn't know exactly why. He had noticed how pale her brother had been when they helped him back to his tent, and it had bothered him a bit. She had said that he was just tired, so Merlin could let it be for now. But he wanted to bring it up later if he had not seen the king return within a few hours or so. He supposed it was just the physician in him that Gaius had made sure was always there.
"I suppose this sounds odd, but I was trying to go to my home village and I ended up here; except I have no real idea of where here is. I don't suppose you could help me with that, could you?" Merlin asked, looking as completely lost as he felt. Lucy looked a little surprised at first but recovered quickly enough.
"You're in Narnia, but I'm not exactly sure where without a map. You see, when we went to get you, half of us split up to go back to Cair and Edmund set up here while I left. I don't suppose you could tell me where you were trying to go. I could probably tell you where we are, but most of the larger maps are at the castle I'm afraid."
"Well, I was leaving Camelot on my way back to Ealdor, which is the village where I lived growing up. I suppose that in my confused state I got lost." Merlin sighed, feeling frustrated.
Suddenly, it occurred to him that he had heard Iseldir mention Narnia before. It was said to be a place where the druids had been searching for, as they had hoped they would find Emrys there. It hit him that he might actually find druids in the area. Lucy frowned a bit at his expression and wasn't sure what exactly to make of it. She watched him go through different emotions and was curious as to what he was thinking about.
"May I ask what it is you are thinking about? Have you figured something out?"
Merlin wasn't exactly sure where he was so he just brought a finger to his chin and tapped it, thinking about the possibilities.
"I guess that its a bit complicated, but I have only heard of Narnia existing in passing, really. A druid had told me once before that they had been searching for it, as there had been stories and such about magic existing here. He said that some of them had been hoping to find Emrys in Narnia. I suppose that answers part of it at least."
Lucy looked at him in wonder for a reason that confused him and looked like she was about to jump up and start dancing. Merlin arched an eyebrow, knowing that she might just do that. From what he had seen so far, she definitely wasn't like any other royal he had met. She seemed purer and free-spirited, and someone who would trust others. Smiling at her, he was tempted to ask what had her so excited, but she beat him to it.
"I've heard about them before and I have always wanted to meet them, but I hear that they are not very trusting of people sometimes," she answered, looking a bit sad at the prospect of never meeting any of them. "But I have heard of some being here in Narnia somewhere. Maybe now that you're here, they might meet with one of us?"
Merlin wondered about that for a little while, thinking about his interactions with them in the past. They were fairly reclusive and most would trust him if he had brought just her alone into one of the camps. If he brought Edmund, that wouldn't work at all. She was a healer, whereas her brother was more of a warrior and an observer. He knew of a few camps that would work, but the last he had seen of them was near his village a good while ago. He didn't know where to find them now, but if word got around that he was here then most of them would possibly come towards Narnia. He knew that they were tired of how things had been progressing in and around Camelot, so this could be better for everyone.
"It would be a slow process, so I hope that you can be patient in that regard. They are peaceful people for the most part, but some of them are impatient and taking the offensive, unfortunately. I would not be able to let your brother come, at least not at the start. I don't know if you have heard or not, but they have been killed under Camelot's orders. I could do very little and warn very few, but some still think that I should have done more. Others think I should kill the ones that are doing it." Merlin told her sadly, looking regretful.
Lucy nodded understandably, thinking that she wouldn't trust others so easily if everyone she loved and knew was being attacked and even killed all of the time. It made plenty of sense that the druids were separated into different factions, believing how things should and should not be done. However, one thing she could not agree on was how they thought on Emrys killing everyone they thought was responsible. Even when they were fighting against the White Witch, she only would want to fight if she had to. When it came down to it, she was more of a healer and not a fighter and that was probably the reason that Emrys had chosen her as a starting point as opposed to any of her siblings.
"It is sad that they have divided like that and that they have had to be so reclusive, but I do see your point. If what I would think is a fairly peaceful group, in general, is not trusting, it is a good idea to do things slowly. I think if I were in their place, I would feel the same. I'm sure that I can convince my siblings of that if you go with me." she said, watching to see his reaction.
Merlin frowned a bit, having thought that Edmund was her only sibling, but that was just an assumption. However…
"I thought you were the Queen and he was the King? If you have other siblings, then surely they can't be younger?"
He watched as Lucy's eyes twinkled in amusement and realized she was toying with him.
"Oh no, it is not like that at all," she said, obviously withholding a laugh at his expense. He tried not to show any reaction but was sure he failed. The great Emrys indeed. "We all share the throne together."
Merlin thought right then and there it was possible he was hallucinating again.
A/N: Okay, I'm pretty sure that's probably the longest chapter I've ever written, but you can correct me if I'm wrong. I know I should be working on my other stuff, but this idea would not leave me alone until I wrote it.
*I changed the timeline a bit, just because having the poor guy wait over a thousand years is just cruel.