Seis Abrazos

by legendarytobes

From the prompt - "Five times Ella hugged Michael, and one time he hugged her. Post-series/post-season six. MICHAEL REDEMPTION FIC. When heaven is falling apart, Amenadiel asks Ella to help him rehabilitate Michael so the Host can figure out how all the systems in place can keep heaven running as well as unlock the ledgers for weighing all the souls...ledgers only Michael can open.

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Seis Abrazos

I. The first time she hugged him, well, Ella didn't count that. Because they'd been working on that astronaut case, and she'd hugged Lucifer…after beating him with her shoe. No, instead she counts the second time she hugged Michael. The first time she actually hugged him and knew should be the first. To be fair, Ella hadn't expected to do that at the time, though.

Why would she?

As far as she'd been told by Amenadiel and Azrael both before agreeing to help, Michael was a real monster. He'd been the one to orchestrate Dan's murder, and even three years later, Trixie's smile didn't seem to usually meet her eyes and her demeanor was dampened. Just not the same as the small, carefree girl she'd been. The fact he'd also tried not once but twice with Chloe was horrifying. But since then, he'd been in Hell. A second chance was supposed to be on the table for him, but at first, Lucifer and Amenadiel hadn't known exactly what to do with him, how to keep an eye on him to make sure he wouldn't scheme again, so for a few weeks while also dealing with Dan and his own damnation situation (and Ella felt she'd still almost three years in the know be ferreting through facts on facts from her friends). Then, Lucifer had returned to counsel others, and tried to put Michael first on the couch, but he hadn't responded to his brother.

No shit. Ella wouldn't take therapy from Ricardo either, like duh.

However, any other therapist from Freud to Watson hadn't had any more luck with Michael either.

But Heaven needed him.

Amenadiel and the current council of the archangels, which two years ago, Ella had had the bizarre, dizzying sensation of being asked to join for helping with Amenadiel's "get to know humans better" initiative were floundering. They were trying, and while some like Raphael and Amenadiel and Saraqael were bright and capable, Michael had been the one who'd known all the i's to dot and t's to cross. He'd kept the schedule tight and the souls weighed on time apparently as the Big Guy got fuzzy.

So, the council, after grave misgivings and even Lucifer's anxiety about Michael's readiness, had decided Michael needed to be brought back to the Silver City.

But when Gabriel had gone to get him, after thousands of years of Hell time or more (and Ella was never getting used to that craziness either), he was too frazzled to register anything as quite real. He'd gone from obstinately refusing therapy to wandering around the corridors since he'd never been assigned a loop, part of Lucifer's start of attempts to figure out what to do with his twin. But he'd gone back to scrubbing fanatically, something Michael somehow had deemed he deserved to do for all eternity. And Gabriel hadn't been able to reach him.

And she'd been his favorite sister.

Rae Rae, who seemed likable too and was often at Hell's gates for obvious reasons, hadn't fared any better. But she'd always believed in Ella's abilities, or so the Angel of Death had said, and so she'd proposed the only human member of the full Silver City council (Chloe consulted with Amenadiel on earth matters solely and when he was in Los Angeles) go to try and get some sense back into Michael. Without him back and stable, heaven couldn't full run.

And as that continued to break down, so went this universe with it.

You know, so no pressure, Lopez.

She'd then been handed Azrael's blade to keep tucked in a sheath on her ankle. Not for the demons or for Michael but because she'd need some type of Celestial artifact with her, even as she was ferried by someone with wings to Hell and back, to give her a bit of residual Celestial energy not to damn her while there. Same thing had worked once for Decker and Amenadiel's necklace, so that was the theory-and it way better hold-for her.

Ella never thought she'd go to Hell, even knowing it was real and with her friend manning it. Even with her own guilt and worries about a teenage period of rebellion and her twenties wasted gambling and boosting cars. But this wasn't…the ash fell heavily and choked her vision, she shivered at the chill wind through the sharp corridors. Above, she could see the almost impossibly tall spire at the heart of Hell.

She did not miss the gleaming white wings there, and her heart ached for her friend. Both that he had taken on this work of trying to heal Hell now, and also because he'd lost his family. She suspected if Decker had a chance to pick her afterlife, where she'd end up. And, of course, it seemed Nephilim lived a long time, which made hellasense, but she wondered how long it would be in Hell time before Rory would be grown enough and calm enough to visit. Even now, even at barely two, she cried and huffed and tantrummed. Not often, but sometimes when she saw other kids at the park, and they had two parents and…yeah, she didn't want to tarry more in Hell than she had to.

But she swallowed hard, turned her face from Lucifer's throne, and followed after Azrael and Gabriel, each woman flanking a side with their wings held high and feathers fully bladed. Ella was Lucifer's bestie, or so she still figured, and it was doubtful any demon would be dumb enough to threaten her. Her angel friends, especially Rae Rae, explained that the demons mostly stuck to the loops and their endless tasks with now helping research the damned and their needs, their emotional hang ups, and sometimes playing out their roles like actors digging for the right cues in some improv games to get the damned souls to start revealing more about their psyche and their loops.

Yes and…

But still it was safest flanked by two of Heaven's toughest archangels (and weird to think of Rae Rae her ghost friend that way) as they wound through Hell.

And when they found him, scrubbing hard against the floor, Ella's heart sank.

Part of her wanted to take off both of her shoes and beat him stupid. Dan was dead. Even if he seemed very happy with Charlotte (and being allowed to the Silver City both with Celestial keepsake on her and Amenadiel's blessing for Council work only allowed her once in a great while to bump into both above), Dan wasn't with them. Not with Trixie or Decker. Missing his family. And if things had gone worse, Chloe would have been dead too. But her rage and initial frustration abated as she watched both angels. Rae Rae's eyes teared up at the display before her and Gabriel's shoulder hunched, forcing her beautiful wings to drag on the ground.

Clearly, both sisters missed their brother more than they'd even explained to Ella, more than just as someone to run the numbers, weigh the scales, and keep the universe running.

Maybe most of heaven saw Michael as a necessary evil, but clearly the Angel of Messages and the Angel of Death did not.

And it was the grief of Ella's oldest angelic friend as well as her favorite person now to trade hot gossip with that calmed Ella's own anger. She was here for a mission, and somehow all of heaven and hell too, truth be told, thought that she was their answer.

Ella was not an angel or a Nephilim. Definitely not a demon or devil. Hell, she wasn't even a Miracle like Chloe.

She was just one, small person, someone who still had faith perhaps now more than ever in Heaven and Hell both because she knew her friends well, knew how hard Lucifer and Amenadiel tried. And she had to hope faith was enough.

It was Gabriel who knelt first, setting a hand gently on Michael's left forearm, even as she shunted her wings away. Ella noticed Azrael do the same thing, and she understood. She'd spent two years among angels above (well once a month and twice in December for end of the angel fiscal year so to speak as far as weighing and balancing soul scales was concerned), and she knew that wings—gorgeous as they were-were weapons. By sheathing theirs, both Rae Rae and Gabby were trying to be as nonthreatening as possible for their brother.

"Mike, hey, it's Gabby. You remember, don't you?"

Michael shrugged her off and only scrubbed harder, muttering to himself. Ella couldn't place the language. It was musical and light and sounded like nothing she'd ever heard. She glanced to Gabriel as she stood, and Rae Rae knelt next to try and get her brother's focus.

"What?" she started.

Gabriel watched her sister and Michael but did answer, "It's Enochian. He's praying to Dad."

"But your Dad's in another universe, right?"

"I don't think Michael remembers that," Gabriel answered sniffling.

Rae Rae leaned down next to Michael, and even from this angle where mostly all Ella could make out was his back and his mop of unkempt, extremely curly hair (and she would so not have guessed that about Lucifer too), Michael was huge compared to Azrael.

"Michael, brother, it's time to go home. The council…the archangels need you."

This time, Michael seemed to snap into some lucidity. Some at least. He shook his head forcefully and shoved Azrael. The Angel of Fear fell on her butt, and Ella would have surged forward to help her if Gabby hadn't held her tightly by the wrist, Ella might have succeeded in checking on her friend.

"You're not real. No one's real here."

This time it was English, and the mourning in Michael's tone chilled Ella, made her sad for him despite all he'd done. She knew what that felt like too, to doubt your sanity, except for her Azrael had always been real and for Michael, well, so much time had past that he might really be seeing so very many things.

Rae Rae stood to her full height which wasn't much and approached her brother again, her hands held high and palms flat to him. "Michael, brother, Gabriel and I came to take you home."

"I can't go home. I'm filthy," he said, turning back to his work and scrubbing harder.

"Mi, please," Gabby said beside her. "We want to help. I always did. But you wouldn't let us before."

Michael stood and grabbed his bucket in his left hand. He was in nothing but torn, dirtied pants and a white, button-down shirt stained by dust and sweat. When he turned to face them, Ella flinched. It was, despite everything, both jarring and sad to see him. He looked like Lucifer mostly, granted he was gaunt here, probably from too long roaming the halls, thinner and lankier than even when she'd first met Luce. But his face was etched through with an angry, red scar that bisected his face. When he walked or tried to past his sisters, Michael hunched over awkwardly as if his shoulders were killing him and favored his left side, his right leg dragging just a bit behind him and right shoulder hitched uncomfortably high.

Gabriel reached out for him again as he passed her. "Please, Michael, you have to believe us. We can't take you if you don't let yourself come with us."

Rae Rae nodded even as Michael shuffled by. "Mi, you have to listen-"

"The Host made their opinion known," he said. The next bit of words were that musical language, the Enochian, though terser somehow, and then both angels' cheeks heated with blushes. Ella wasn't sure what he'd accused his sisters of in that moment, but it was clear from his behavior and as he headed down the corridor and almost past her that Michael did not believe either of them. "I…have to keep cleaning. I have to get clean."

Ella couldn't let him pass. She shoved the part of her so mad and hurt for Dan and Decker and most of all for Trixie and did what she knew how, did the same thing that years ago she'd done to get Lucifer to calm down too.

She hugged him.

This tiny, definitely inconsequential human in the scope of things, well she didn't have much but she lunged forward and wrapped herself around Michael's middle, her arms landing on his waist as she gave him an anaconda squeeze.

Gabriel and Azrael gave sharp intakes of breath, and Ella had a feeling that had a lot to do with her fragile mortal ass surprising a probably nuts Sword of God. Not the best idea, but nothing else had been working either.

She closed her eyes and squeezed him hard and, perhaps it was selfish, but after three years, she'd missed her friend. This wasn't Lucifer, but she could hug him hard if she thought of Michael as the next best thing. Besides, she knew how to work with Lucifer who stiffened at touch or had until his final few weeks in Los Angeles. Michael was the same, seizing up as if he was suspicious.

Considering where he'd been and what he'd been through, she couldn't blame him.

"Michael, you have to come home," she said softly.

Ella looked up at him and studied him. There was shock in his eyes because he was confused too.

"You're not dead," he accused.

"No, better not be. I…I'm Ella Lopez." She parted from him and held out her left hand. "I work for the Silver City, and, well, they thought we could be paired up for some work there."

He frowned. "Humans never come here. The only one who ever-"

"Yeah, no, so not a miracle. But I got some help and a pass from the new Big Guy and Azrael helped. You know it has to be real-has to be bad-if a human cheated their way here and so they can get back. Michael, please, the universe is started to crumble and your family needs you. Everything else? We can figure it out but uh as someone who lives in the universe, we could really use you."

He blinked at her, and she hoped it wasn't her imagination that he seemed more lucid, his eyes sharper, the longer her regarded her. "They sent a human?"

"It's real bad, dude. So you know, when in a shit show…"

He shook his head and laughed. It was only kind of a cackle so she figured that had to be good. "I knew that Samael couldn't handle it. I warned everyone!"

Ella winced at that, since technically true, but Amenadiel hadn't done much better even with the council at his side. The day-to-day person was gone and all the systems…all the infrastructure had been designed by Michael. There'd been a transition of power with no one teaching the new people how to actually do it.

How had the universe run this long again?

Gabriel and Azrael had come up to them both. They nodded.

Rae Rae was more delicate. "It's hard, and Dad's gone, and we didn't know what to do the way it was supposed to go. We're working too slow and souls are backing up and please, brother, we were wrong."

Gabby was more casual. "Also, I have so much hot gos. I have been saving it for three years for you."

Michael blinked, regarding all of them. "Three years?"

Ella nodded. "Sorry, human here, but I am gathering it's been a lot longer here, huh?"

Michael sighed and set the bucket down, scrubbing at his face with his left hand. Ella did not comment but did note the way his right arm hang limply at his side. "I don't…it's been far longer, Miss Lopez."

He finished that part with a perfect approximation of his twin's accent that made her giggle in surprise.

"You do remember me."

He nodded. "I do, chica, and I…what is a human doing here?"

"Yeah, long story, dude, let's get going, okay?"

She waited for him to sprout his wings as Azrael and Gabriel did. Rae Rae took Ella by the wrist. It was weird and slightly awkward because Rae Rae wasn't any taller than she was, but Azrael was so much stronger. Flying down was a bit bumpy but they'd make it work on the way out. What Ella did not expect was Michael not unfurling his own wings. She'd expected to see two as bright and shining as Lucifer's. Instead, Gabriel offered her brother a long, careful hug and then grabbed his wrist tightly in hers.

"No time like the present, right Mikey?"

He nodded to Gabby, and there was something tender there, something relieved. "As long as you're with me, right?"

And with that, they returned to the Silver City.

II. The next time she hugged him, she was adjusting to the huge ask from Amenadiel and pondering it in the gardens of the Silver City. She'd come for her monthly council meeting duties, trying hard to help ancient beings understand humanity when sometimes even Ella wasn't sure she did. Also, the latest angel who had had their turn to learn more about Earth culture was Jophiel. He was, uh, nice and all but also kind of stupid. Okay, he made all her brothers look like Nobel laureates (the non-Jay ones even), and so a portion of the council meeting had involved Ella desperately giving the Celestial version of a power point to explain why the other might want to not use Tinder when they were learning about humanity.

Two Nephilim seemed plenty, especially with one of their fathers busy spreading himself thin and the other in Hell for the foreseeable maybe ever. How long would it take to reform all of damned humanity anyway?

Right, yeah, better just not think of it and next month explain condoms too.

Anyway, she'd finished and then been approached by Amenadiel and asked to his office. And she'd been given the ask of a lifetime.

She sighed and sat there, sipping ambrosia from cut crystal-and hey weird ambrosia was real-and waiting for her friend to speak. She knew that it had to be out of the ordinary cause Charlie had a karate thing on Friday to earn his yellow belt and Amenadiel was going to be there and her too. If it was casual, they'd be catching up then.

"So, you know, I took some time off lately from the precinct." And broke up with Carol. It was one thing to hide her friends' secrets, especially with Lucifer gone and Amenadiel around about half the time and never at the precinct these days. It was another to hide that angels were real and she had been appointed their Humans 101 guide. The lies and very transparent excuses hadn't lasted, and, honestly, she'd broken up with him before her disregard had driven a good man back to drinking. Or to blaming himself. "We have plenty of time to catch up. I am thinking that maybe we could…I dunno include understanding of other world religions? Next angel who comes to L.A., I can take them to not just my church and mass but also some temples and mosques, stuff like that? I am gonna avoid Scientology though. Just say no to Xenu, right?"

Amenadiel nodded and sighed. "I appreciate how much you've been giving so far to this. I don't think we could have gotten Michael to leave Hell a few months ago without you."

"Nah, he seems to really like Gabriel. I'm sure she'd have figured something out."

"Maybe, but I also know that you love your job, Ella, and that I appreciate to help me plan more human interaction training you've taken time off."

She rolls her eyes. "Pssht, no big deal. I mean the Big Guy-uh the New Big Guy asks-and you say yes. I'm honored, Amenadiel."

And she was. Ella had always, desperately wanted to help people. She'd wanted to even more since she'd started "seeing things," and it helped now knowing that Rae Rae had always been real and not her mind crumbling. Still, she saw angles she didn't want to see, imagined deaths she had no interest in actually visualizing. She had to be helpful, had to be good. Or else, even now, Ella still felt broken.

Because at the end of the day, no matter what Amenadiel's dad had told her, she was dark too and her light might be bright but other things lingered at the corner of her mind, and they scared her.

"Yes, but I…I have something I need to ask you again, and you can say no. I…I understand and respect that. You've given more than any human should be expected to."

"Uh, if you're asking for like crucifixion, gonna pass."

He blanched. "What? No!"

"Kidding. I mean, you weren't gonna ask that, right?"

"No, but this is…look, I need you here more than once a month for council work. Michael's struggling, and even with Gabriel here trying to cheer him up, well, I know this is incredibly pressure."

"Way past that," she said.

"Yes, but you seemed to be good with him before. No one had gotten him to even notice where he was in years but you did. I think you need to be here with him all the time, the way Gabby is. He's still having a lot of focus problems and zoning out."

"Dissociating, right? I'm sure you've asked Linda for her take too."

Amenadiel nods. "Yeah, that's what she said too. I…I don't know how long that would take. Time works differently in different realms. Hell runs so fast that thousands of years can go by in months. Heaven's the opposite. It's like things grow still here. Eons pass but it's a few days on earth."

"Um, but I'm human so if I'm gonna camp out for eons, even here, I…my body would age, right? I'd be a big old pile of dust if I just spent tons of time here. I mean, there has to be a reason humans don't get to come, right? Even if I keep Azrael's blade on me and try and use that 'oh hey I have a Celestial artifact on me right now' hedge."

He nodded. "And again, nothing gets past you, Ella. You can't come here for the kind of intensive time we need if you're mortal."

"Wait? I'm not dying! I'm still forty-five. I have lot of things on my bucket list. I've never even been to Dragon Con."

Amenadiel blinked at her. "What?"

"Never mind, I just…I've given a lot here but I'm not…I'm not cutting my mortal life short. Don't ask that."

Amenadiel stood and squeezed her shoulder. "No, sorry. I fumbled that."

"Oh boy yes."

"I wasn't asking you to die to be here."

"Good cause I can't."

"I was asking permission, well, as God I can alter many things. I wouldn't start undoing great, big tenets of the universe like how death works or love or morality. But I can alter beings."

"Um?"

Amenadiel sighed. "I don't want to do it capriciously, but Ella, we really need you here. As long as heaven isn't balancing the scales properly and fast enough, Earth and the whole universe is in danger. And the sooner Michael's back to himself, the sooner we can do that."

"So, you're gonna alter Michael to make him more lucid and less traumatized because I know you're the Big Guy, but I don't think that's…a thing? I mean no matter what you can do with cosmic powers and pretty sure Linda told you this already even you can't just speed through PTSD."

Amenadiel shrunk a bit at her accusation, and he had thought about cheat coding that. Good on Linda for explaining that was only doomed to backfire. "No, I understand why that's not feasible. I…I want permission to alter you."

She blinked at him. "How? And what?"

"I need to allow you to be Celestial to stay here longer than a few hours. Rae Rae's blade can only give you a residual aura of Celestial-ness for a bit. You're right, and it wouldn't allow you to stay here days and weeks. You'd eventually be prevented from leaving again. But if I tweaked you to be like a Celestial…then, you could stay here for work whenever you needed."

Ella had to be hearing him wrong. It was one thing to consult. It was another to be what? "Are you offering me a halo."

"We don't have those but if you'd like a robe," he offered brightly.

She looked down at her red vampire t-shirt that said "Mondays suck" and frowned. "Is this not okay?"

"Oh, no, it's cute. I just…I understand if you'd say no. Giving a human celestial powers really hasn't been done before and certainly not to watch over an archangel with…problems."

She didn't offer the observations if the three of them-Lucifer included-hadn't ended up beating the shit out of each other and having a war over heaven that this wouldn't be a problem, but Ella thought it. "Can you do it?"

"I'm God, so yes."

"Would it melt me or something?"

"No, but I wouldn't undo the rules for all of humanity and just make angel-like upgrades for them as a rule. That would destabilize reality more than it already is. One out of eight billion is manageable." He let out a long sigh and rubbed his scalp. "Once Michael's in line, the system is up and running the way it should be again, and you're not needed here so much, I can undo the adjustments. It wouldn't be permanent."

"And so no halo. Uh what would it mean?"

"Immortality, invulnerability, whatever would help you adjust to the needs of this plane without having to die to do it. You wouldn't get a power the way I can stop time or Gabriel can visit any universe she wants."

She gaped up at him. God, technically, was asking her to become sort-of-an-angel to save the universe. Sure, like she was gonna say no. Again, all that no pressure, right?

"I'm not being Punk'd, right?"

"I don't know what that means."

"I'll put it on the list for human lessons," she said, sighing and standing. Ella took Amenadiel's hand and shook it. "Okay, you have a deal."

He nodded and even as he kept shaking her hand, Ella felt it, this zap of electricity through her, almost like being sizzled alive. It didn't hurt but it did feel like drinking about 80 red bulls at once. When he let her go, Amenadiel looked her over and nodded.

"And that's that. One semi-Celestial for now."

She nodded. "Uh, cool, so you're gonna get me a room in the palace cause I have a lot of things to bring with me. You have video games here right because I want to bring my Xbox to unwind after a long day-"

Amenadiel blinked at her.

"Okay, so we'll add video games to the human lesson list too."

The next few weeks were a whirlwind of goodbyes for now to her friends on earth, a pretty cool going away party where she promised Trixie she would take about a billion pictures in the Silver City if Trix did the same for the day to day in Los Angeles. Then, she'd settled in the palace in the same wing as Michael, Azrael, and Gabriel, although Rae Rae was so busy with souls and now the soul back up, that her bestie was rarely around.

And it should feel like something was different, and while Ella felt way more energetic and didn't sleep in Heaven more than a few hours at a time, she didn't feel super different. But she was noticing that while the archangel council trusted her and relied on her and her human knowledge (maybe she could get them tiktok up here, speed up her job), there were thousands of angels in the Host from cherubim to seraphim to the archs and so many others. And most of them did not like her.

They scowled at her or whispered at her in the corridors and around the streets of the Silver City. A few of the archangels not on the council, some she didn't know well, had flat out complained about her. Barachiel had taken Amenadiel to task in an open forum for all of heaven her first week in the city. And since then, Jegudiel had flat out accosted her and said that their Father never would have allowed a human such an honor, that it was stolen.

Ella'd burst into tears then and even Amenadiel's promise he'd talked to his brother about it hadn't really settled her nerves. It was how she found herself strolling a well-kempt cloud garden behind her wing in the palace, strolling through cotton candy puffs in shades of teal, gold, peach, and coral. It was amazing, more than she could have imagined in all her prayers and novitiate times, but it felt hollow.

She was trying to do her best to hero up, figure out how to reach Michael, and you know, save the universe, and many of the angels didn't want her here. Found her lesser, and it hurt.

Hopefully, Azrael would be home long enough to talk to between the next tragedy or massive emergency. If not, she could always chat with Gabriel, who was funny and had amazing stories and, okay, it was sometimes nice to talk with someone who could speak even more than she could too.

What she didn't expect to find as she sat down on a soft, minty-colored cloud bank was Michael. He was sitting not far off, waving his hand through a misty set of spiraling azure nimbus. Sighing and still very sad, Ella stood again and walked over to him.

"Hey, can anyone mope here?"

He regarded her and she expected him to stand and leave. Since she'd gotten here-and part Celestial now or not, she wasn't sure how to tell time at all-she'd tried to get Michael to open up more to her. And while he'd sit with her and Gabby as a buffer, so far any time she tried to have one-on-one time with him, she'd been brushed off. Michael just withdrew to his room or to the archives to read in silence or rest.

So it surprised her when he nodded and scooted over enough to give her space beside him. "Yeah, losers club, right, Lopez?"

She blinked at him. "You know human stuff. That's from It."

He laughed and it was a bitter, hollow noise. "Dad sent me on tasks on earth sometimes. Once in a while they'd take a few weeks. I was here in the 90s doing something out in Lawrence, Kansas, the time the TV miniseries came out. I was pretending to be Sam for a couple weeks. I had access to cable, you know? I did catch the new flicks too."

She giggled, thinking of an angel watching a horror movie. "Wouldn't that be too shocking or something?"

"You've known my siblings a while. We're not as holy as you wish we were." He sighed and set his left hand on his knee. His right hung again at his thigh. "I never was."

"Michael-"

"You're my babysitter. I mean, obviously Gabriel is, but Amenadiel must be beyond desperate if he made you a knock-off Celestial to do it too."

"You know?"

"You moved in and aren't dead. I was Dad's right hand, so I know the rules as well as Amenadiel. You've been here three weeks, our time, and if you were still mortal, you'd be trapped here. Shuffled off that mortal coil by default. Amenadiel wouldn't let that happen, so…also you're scared about it. Scared you made the wrong choice because you miss your human friends…Sam's little fan club. And scared because you're not sure what all's changed yet."

She quirks her head at him. "I didn't say that."

"Didn't have to, chica. I know," he replied, tapping the side of his head. "Every angel has a power, well, us real ones."

"I didn't ask for this. I was trying to help!"

"Mhm," he nodded, staring off into the expanse before them. "Mine's fear. I wonder what yours will be if it comes."

"Amenadiel just said I'm immortal and invulnerable till we get heaven fixed. Nothing else."

"Yeah and Menny's been God a hot second. I wouldn't bet he didn't exactly know what he was doing when he did it."

"Oh fuck, I am gonna melt, aren't I?"

He chuckled at that and then sobered as she started to sniffle. "No, wait…Lopez, I didn't mean that. Sure, my brother is an idiot, but he probably didn't melt you the slow way. I'm about 99% sure he didn't."

"That's one percent!"

Michael considered her again. "You really are good, aren't you? The Host has put so much on you, on your new gifts aside, a human's shoulders. They're asking you to do what they can't because they never thought ahead before and haven't now. You could have told them to go fuck themselves."

"The universe collapsing is kind of an everyone problem."

Michael shrugged but only his left shoulder moved. "Maybe the universe is so broken that it deserves to end. It can, you know? Just start over. Big Bang again. Maybe it should because this version Father modeled and Amenadiel and Sam and my other siblings maintain…it's cruel and broken. And I don't think it'll ever be fixed."

"But Lucifer and Amenadiel and Sara and Raphael…they're all trying. More than you're doing."

"I gave, Ella. I gave and gave and all it got me was banned by my father, exiled from heaven, and the only reason I'm back here is because I know how the systems run. Or I did. I don't…things are hard to remember, which shouldn't be possible for one of us. And sometimes…I dunno…I'll sit down to read and a week will have gone by. Sometimes, I'll try and sleep and I'm back there and I wake up screaming till Gabby has to hold me to shut me up. I…if the Silver City needs me to be normal again to fix them, then we're all not just fucked, Lopez. We're turbo-fucked. And one little mortal…well recently upgraded immortal isn't going to change that."

"Michael-"

He shook his head and regarded her. "Which sibling?"

"Huh?"

"Which sibling made you cry?"

"I wasn't crying…much," she offered.

Michael regarded her. "I was being polite. My power, joy, still works. Of all the things Amenadiel could have done, ripping this unasked for gift out of me would have been helpful. I…oh yes Jegudiel, The Laudation of God. Makes sense. His pompous ass was Dad's number one ass kisser. I buttered him up for my needs, but Jeg did it because he was made to. Father always did love a good ego boost."

Ella rubbed at her eyes. "I thought angels would be nicer, like Amenadiel and Lucifer."

"My brothers aren't nice either; that's your problem."

"You killed one of my best friends." His head snapped back, and she nodded again. "I know, dude, and I knew before I even went to Hell to get you out. You're not less shitty. I just…I thought they'd be happy to have the help. I didn't ask for this!"

"No one here ever does. At least Menny is a bit different than Dad. Dad never asked. We were told. You got a choice, and you chose to save the world." He laughed and this time it was definitely not lucid. "How's that working out for you?"

"I'll get the hang of it," she objected. "I…they don't like me. Some of the council does. I know Jophiel does even though I kept trying to explain to him considering Charlie and Rory, he can't just Tinder around L.A. We so do not have space for more Nephilim."

Michael gaped at her. "Wait…the good Doctor had a second rugrat?"

"No, Decker…" and she slammed her mouth shut, realizing that that was supposed to be information Michael was never allowed to have. Even Gabby had been sworn (and spelled a bit) into secrecy because none of the Host trusted Michael with that kind of leverage.

"Oh, now it all makes sense. You needed me back cause Menny had to step in once Samael knew he had a bun in the oven with the Miracle. He retired, fucked off to enjoy his time with his kiddo and fucked off on the universe himself. Yeah, called that. Selfish bastard."

Ella flinched. "No, Lucifer's in Hell. He's back there helping to redeem souls forever. It's very crazy in a total Back to the Future way and I so don't get it, but he has to. Decker is doing this on her own."

"He went back to Hell?"

Ella bit her lower lip, worrying it. "You don't remember?"

Michael shook his head. "I…I was there and scrubbing and a sofa and Freud and maybe not? I don't know, it was so many years and so much ash. I…" he snorted. "So much for second chances. What? I get paroled not just save the universe if my brain starts working right but because, shock, Samael gave up?"

"No, Lucifer tried to save you first. But you wouldn't talk to him or to any of the shrinks there. And dude, apparently, a lot of them either sleep with their patients or run unethical experiments. Hell? Teeming with help at least for Lucifer's new gig. I…you really don't remember do you?"

She set her hand on his bad one cause it was the closest one to her. Michael jumped but he didn't leave. "I'm so sorry."

He shook his head. "I don't need pity from a mostly human. I…" His face crumpled then. "I don't know what I need anymore." Michael sighed again and looked out to the endless horizon. "But heaven's cut throat, Lopez. Welcome. I…you're still lesser than an actual angel. Don't take it the wrong way. I always was too. Too jealous, too bitter over Samael. Bent and warped my own body," he said, gesturing to his bad hand enveloped by hers. "Imperfect in a perfect place. You won't like it any more than I do."

"But you were their general. That's true, isn't it?"

"For eons. We fought every monster you can think of and some you never can fathom, and I led them through that and again Samael's Rebellion. I did everything I could, but I was warped and broken and had the ugliest pair of wings."

"Had?"

Michael shook his head. "That is for another time, chica. I…the Silver City can be Hell. There is something quiet at least in ash and endless corridors. There is nothing good about my siblings sneering at me and calling me 'Quasimodo' and 'The Hunchback.'"

She couldn't help it. It was one of the saddest things she'd ever heard. Ella turned and hugged him hard, her arms wrapping around his waist. He surprised her by relaxing into her grip.

"They didn't."

"They did for eons, and even when I got to Earth, yes, I was at first needling Sam. I did bad things. I know that, I do. But he mocked me too, slumped his posture. I can't help what self-actualization did to me anymore than he can or Amenadiel could. But I get mocked for it because you know, maybe being an eyesore is contagious."

She held him tighter and sniffled a little. "But this is heaven!"

A large hand was on her back and that surprised her. Michael was so gentle. "You sound like Rae Rae when she was young. She and Gabby and Remi were some of the last archangels Mom and Dad ever made. They seem young even now. But…Heaven is a catty, awful place where everyone jockeys for power and stabs them in the back. Welcome to Succession, Lopez. It's where we are now."

She pulled away and blinked up at him. "That you remember? But not Hell?"

"Hey, it's not TV, it's…" he drifted off and stood. Ella looked to the clouds at her ankles and tried to ignore how hard he struggled to stand. Eventually, he almost pitched forward, still slumped forward too far, his shoulders clearly killing him, so she leapt up and settled under him. "You don't have to help me."

"I want to. If you're battered and I'm not a real angel, and so not, then you know? I guess we have to stick together."

"You're going to be insufferable, aren't you?"

"Yup, now, let's get back to the palace. I'm kind of sick of the view for now too."

III. The next however long, and it was hard to tell, trucked along steadily. It was a good thing on earth only a few days if that had passed because time really did seem endless here or stopped, maybe both…but the next patch of time actually passed well. She and Michael weren't exactly friends, and he was still having trouble recalling anything of the nitty gritty of the soul weighing system or the spells and rituals used to protect the heavenly ledgers-i.e. without unlocking them and being fully visible, the system was still too slow-or other process things about heaven. Sometimes, he'd talk with her or Gabby and then just freeze, going catatonic and sitting there for endless hours, staring at something only he could see. Sometimes, he'd wake her up, situated across the hall as he was from her, and scream with nightmares. Ella had tried to help him the first few nights, but Gabby had been handling the night terrors.

But overall, despite those setbacks, he was at least open to speaking with her. They'd eat their meals together in the mess hall. No one but Gabby or Amenadiel would eat with them. Rae Rae had twice but there was a war in Russia and a mudslide in California and also something called monkey pox all over and…

Well, the Angel of Death meant well but she was very busy.

Still, the formerly exiled Prince of Heaven and the human with glued on powers weren't welcome in the city, and the whispers and shunning only grew worse as the time passed. Amenadiel hadn't inherited his father's omniscience along with the throne, and all the Host relied on that. It gave them the chance to hurl insults and mess with both her and Michael. A trip there with a wing just so carelessly sliding under her ankles or a jeer across the cloud garden at Michael and his posture.

So, for what it was worth, she and he glommed on to each other and were buddies not just out of necessity but default.

They were eating again, a hearty mix of meat and vegetables and delicacies she was pretty sure only gods got to eat because it was amazing and she was salivating still twenty minutes in, and Michael was listening to her explain the plot of Supernatural between bites.

"Wait, so there are like these hicks from nowhere and they go hunting demons with guns and a metallicar? What is wrong with humans?"

"Dude, you never like anything."

"I liked Breaking Bad and Mad Men when I saw those on Sam's TV. I don't know why you keep trying to tell me about talking trees and their raccoon friends in space or rednecks who try and take on angels." He snorted. "Like that would ever work."

"I'm just saying, it was a cool show. It didn't have to get it right. Besides? Those guys, superhot!"

Michael chuckled but pushed at his meal. Ella had noticed that a lot, and she'd noticed that in the intervening however long in the Silver City that Michael didn't eat much. He was still levels of gaunt that worried her. Then again, she was sure millennia in Hell had destroyed his appetite. But the angels wouldn't have a commissary if even they eventually didn't have to eat.

"Now, if you ever saw those Prophecy movies? That's some angels with bite. Of course, I can see you getting attached to an endless series because of subjective levels of hotness, chica."

She frowned at him. "I'm not shallow."

He arched an eyebrow at her. "We've been at this for months, uh, Celestial time, and mostly all you've talked about is comic book inanity that should be for kids about Decker's brat's age. Somewhat shallow. I guess you get points for a hopeless holy mission, though."

She rolled her eyes. "Look the first five seasons are brilliant. Hey, you'd like the fifth season cause they eventually obliterate the Devil."

Michael flinched at that, and she realized her mistake too late, that she'd gotten too close to his reality. "Yeah, must have been nice."

"Michael, I didn't mean to-"

Before she could offer a longer apology, Jegudiel sauntered over to their table. It had to be deliberate of course, since the two of them were camped out at the far side of the mess hall and given a wide berth by actual angels as Michael called them.

"Human," Jegudiel sneered, his upper lip curling in a way that almost made his too busy beard come off as comical, as if he had a reddened squirrel strapped to his face. His tone still didn't make her feel better. Then, Jegudiel turned his attention to Michael. "Murderer."

Michael dropped his fork and looked down to his tray. "I know, and I am sorry about Remiel. I thought…it doesn't matter what I thought."

"It doesn't," Jegudiel continued.

Ella glared between them. "Hey, we were eating, and if you can stop being mean, then we could finish."

"This doesn't concern you, interloper. He sits here, eating our food, back in the Silver City, when he killed our sister in cold blood. Way I hear it, you should care more since he got humans killed too. What? No concern for your fellow man, Ella?"

She swallowed hard, thinking about Dan and tearing up at that and the thought that if things had gone differently Chloe would have died as well. "We're working through it and-"

Jegudiel sneered and slammed both hands, palms flat, as hard as he could on Michael's shoulders. "Remiel should be here, traitor, not you."

Michael's reaction was instantaneous. He rolled to the ground and screamed. It startled Ella because even after how many crime scenes she'd been to, she recognized when someone was in agony, when they were screaming bloody murder. She hopped up from her chair and got down beside him even as Jegudiel chuckled and strode off. Setting her hand on Michael's shoulder, she tried to calm him. But he just screamed louder, and as she watched, blood soaked through the back of his robe easily, staining the light tan material dark crimson.

"Help! What's going on? Michael, hey, I'm right here," she said, taking his hand and trying to calm his screams until Amenadiel came to bless out Jegudiel and Raphael helped her escort Michael to the infirmary.

She had to wait in a vestibule for a while, which surprise, angels didn't have magazines to flip through or try and flip through when you were worried about your…well Ella wasn't sure what the word was for whatever she and Michael were. Technically, she was kind of like his special warden but that seemed too mean to say out loud. Besides, despite everything, after the cloud garden, she felt like they were at least becoming friends. Maybe that was one-sided or naïve, but she was still worried for Michael. Also way confused. And those feelings had far more to do with thinking about him as a friend, as someone else who clearly didn't fit in the Silver City, than as a puzzle to solve or an ex-con to keep an eye on.

Eventually, Raphael came out to her, straightening her long, dark hair and sighing deeply. The Angel of Healing reminded her a bit of Azrael, at least in appearance, but she was taller and seemed older, more middle-aged if that made sense for angels. She also had a gravitas about her that of course Ella's best friend tended to lack.

"He's stable. I know Amenadiel has had words for Jegudiel and an assignment on Earth in some place called Siberia that I've been assured for the next few earth months Jegudiel will loathe. I am sorry this happened. We can't get his mind healed and past his self-induced amnesia if he keeps being attacked by the idiots among my family."

She sniffled and rubbed at her eyes before Raphael. "You mean that you're sorry because we can't get information from him as easily as you want…as the council needs. You're not sorry because he's hurt."

"He's my brother, and many things have passed between us, but believe me, Ella, I don't wish him to suffer any more than Gabriel or Azrael do. I don't think I can ever be close to him again, but I respected him until he snapped. I care about him now as more than a means to an end, and to see him screaming for hours until my gift began to help was the most oppressive type of agony." Raphael shook her head. "He asked for you. Do you want to see him?"

Ella frowned a little. "He asked for me?"

Raphael's demeanor softened, and she smiled just a bit. "He did. You must be growing on him. Even in the days before, the only angels he'd ever really hover close to were Gabriel or sometimes Uri if he wanted a game of chess. Come along," she added, beckoning to the ward.

Ella did as told and decided for now it was stupid to consider her an angel since she was just borrowing powers until, you know, the universe wasn't collapsing in on itself. Nothing weird or hard there. Besides, as one of Amenadiel's best advisors, Raphael already knew that. It didn't take long to get to Michael's room, one that gleamed with sparkling crystal. Literally, the furniture and everything but the bed were made of carved crystal as was the custom in the Silver City.

Ella assumed that meant it was hella-sterile too.

Raphael knocked on the threshold of the door. "Michael, your requested visitor is here."

He looked pale, and she had no idea how just slapping his back had made him lose a scary amount of blood. But Michael managed to sit up a bit higher in bed and offer her a crooked smile. "Lopez, how do I look?"

"Uh, not too bad."

"You really are too nice, even in the Silver City. I'm sure I look like death warmed over," he added.

"You look like a patient who should stay still as much as he can and not overexert himself," Raphael countered. "Now, you take a bit of time, but you need sleep to keep healing, Brother." She glared at Ella, who gulped reflexively. "I trust you to have the judgment to leave him be when he needs it."

Ella nodded and sat down in a chair right beside Michael's bedside as Raphael left them in peace. "Hey, you scared me, which I didn't really think could happen in heaven, but I guess I was wrong. I'm sorry your brother sucks, but he got demoted to Siberia duty for a while!"

She knew she sounded probably way too perky, but she tended to get more peppy the more worried she was.

Michael chuckled. "Well, I can see the First Born has a sense of humor after all. Maybe that goat rumor really was started by him."

"Huh?"

"Never mind," he said, and was it her imagination that he was still smiling at her? "You really are worried for me, aren't you?"

She crossed her arms over her chest and glared back at him. "Dude, are you reading me?"

"You're broadcasting it, and I'm too sick to block any fears out right now. Some angels have to work to access their powers. I have to work to block mine out."

"Wait, always?"

He nodded. "Amenadiel had to work at it to mess with time, and Samael can read desires but he usually has to ask. I don't, and it's loud right now. I can feel so much from the Host, and while it's not surprising, never feels great to know all your brothers and sisters figure you're a rabid dog on a shitty leash."

"You're not-"

"You were briefed on what I did before you agreed to go to Hell to get me, right? We never talked about it, but I know Amenadiel wouldn't ask something this hard of one of his pet humans if he hadn't told her most of the huge crap."

She swallowed hard and looked at her lap. "I know about Dan and how it would have been Chloe too if Lucifer hadn't pulled off the biggest Hail Mary of all fucking time. I…I had heard about your sister too, about Remiel, but my brain was more focused on the other humans and especially my friends. But I figured, you know, the whole universe was bigger than the pain of missing one of my best friends or being mad with how you hurt Decker. So, yeah, I knew."

"Then, you agreed to babysit me when I couldn't…I really can't remember so much. It's in pieces and I guess that's what eons in Hell gets you or the guilt or the nightmares about my crimes. Maybe all three. But you're kind of like my failsafe."

She sighs and rubs her temples. "No pressure, right? Just help the Sword of God. Me, little old Ella."

Michael surprised her by taking her left hand in his. Ella let him. "Well, I'm not the Sword anymore. Won't be ever again. Besides, you're tiny, sure, but you're not a little anything, Lopez. I mean you tend to bound with endless energy into everything so far. You'd have fit well in this stupid city where nothing ever changes, I think."

"I wanted to," she said. "But they're mean. I…what did Jegudiel even do? Does he have like razor hands?"

Michael laughed until her coughed a bit and then regathered himself. "No, don't be ridiculous."

"Well! I don't know how everything in Heaven works yet. It's a lot."

"It is," he agreed. "I don't have my wings."

"Oh, I just…you'd mentioned they weren't right, that you'd self-actualized them crooked and I just thought you never had them out because they didn't match everyone else's."

Michael nodded. "And there it is. I knew that Samael must have edited something back to self-serve."

Ella blinked wide eyes back at him. To be fair, it was a complaint she'd had with Lucifer both when she'd finally confronted him about figuring everything else out but also even back in Vegas. Lucifer bluffed, and that was almost as bad as lying. "What don't I know?"

"I'm not even surprised Amenadiel and Sam didn't say it. I…that was my punishment and why when my 'second chance' was staying in Hell, but I guess I lucked out it wasn't in a room yippee, but I couldn't leave. You have to have wings to leave Hell, and I don't. Not anymore."

"What did Lucifer do?"

"We fought. I had the Flaming Sword, yes that one, and he won. The terms were to the death and, to be honest, to this day, I don't know if I'd have killed Sam if I'd won or not. I'd like to think I'd have come up with something different, but I don't know. I was pretty crazy." He looked away from her. "Still am. But Sam couldn't trust me, and I'd earned that, I get it. He decided to take my wings and leave me half an angel at best. I thought he'd at least banish me to earth but that didn't happen."

She reaches across and squeezes his hand harder again. "That must have hurt."

"Oh the worst pain, and the sword is made in part from the same blade that killed Remiel. Uriel too but that wasn't me and I don't have time to reveal others' crimes. Or I don't give a shit, same difference."

She filed that away, curious now about Uriel, since she was gathering angel-on-angel murder was rare. "So when he slapped you today?"

Michael nodded and sat up enough that she could get a view of his back. It wasn't bandaged but it did glisten with a salve that Raphael must have added along with working over Michael for hours with her powers. But the sight before her, despite everything she knew about Michael's crimes, made her weep for him. His back was red and angry, but at his shoulders were two wing stumps. Lucifer must have cut close to the joint of the wing but hadn't cleared all of them. The stubs were still there, sickly and green in cast. They twitched unevenly, reminding her of a fly's wins buzzing. The skin nearest them was raw and angry and weeping. Some of it had been stitched together, and that must have been Raphael too, to try and keep the bleeding in check.

Ella shook her head and threw her arms gently around Michael, making sure to keep them wrapped low, around his waist. "I didn't know. I…why isn't it healed more? You were in Hell for so so long."

"I think because the Flaming Sword made it, and it's made to hurt us badly. Hell, it's made to cut across the fabric of the multiverse and into other universes."

She gaped at him. She knew that Gabby went all over, that it was her power by now, but the idea of a sword so powerful it could cut into a new universe was terrifying. And that had been used on him? It was a miracle Michael didn't have a worse infection or had died from the haphazard amputation anyway.

Michael breathed slowly under her embrace. "I…you don't have to fake feeling sorry for me. I appreciate you came to check up on me."

"I never left."

"But it's been hours."

"You were bleeding, and we're…we're friends, aren't we?" she asked, even as she pulled away from him and let him resettle in the bed. If they jostled him too much and reopened his stitches, well, Ella didn't want Raphael after her for fucking up her (very stubborn) patient. "I mean, I feel like we are, right?"

Michael gaped at her, and the look of both confusion and awe on his face broke her heart. It was as if even in a heaven teeming with literally thousands of angels, no one had really asked him to be friends before. And surely once they'd cared at least some about their leader. Hadn't they?

"You want to be my friend? You know I can read every fear you've ever had. I do the surface fears as easily as I breathe. You know I murdered your friend, that I'm a monster. I'm only here, I'm sure, as long as I'm useful and then I assume since neither Sam or Menny want me, I'll be tossed onto the earth to make my way-crippled, maimed, and exhausted-among the mortals. You shouldn't want that."

"Probably not," she admitted. "But, for all Amenadiel's trying to change things, heaven kind of sucks and I don't have wings or powers either and the rest of the real angels are dicks. So I need back up when Azrael's off and she's always busy, so we're friends? Because I don't like when Jegudiel hurt you at all, and the next angel who wants to has to go through me."

Michael shocked her by bursting out laughing, genuine mirth in his expression. "Yeah, that's like a chihuahua barking at pit bulls. I'm sure my siblings are shaking in their halos."

"I am a biter, don't you forget it!"

He laughed again and settled under the covers. "Thanks, Lopez…I no one's really ever cared before but for Gabby, and she's on assignment right now too and I…friends, yeah I can do that. I always wanted a pet."

"Fuck you."

"Pass."

IV. Some things started to get better, and Ella had not frame of reference for when they did. It felt like months to her, but for all she knew it was just the next day on Earth. Or it could have been just the same hour in heaven that felt stretched forever and not because Amenadiel was doing it. All she was sure of that Michael was getting better, spending much more of his day lucid, and having fewer night terrors. Mostly. Though she still heard him screaming from his room more than half the night she slept.

She tried a few times to go and help him, but Gabriel had taken the shifts with him, and that made sense. His sister had known him literally forever, and she was just the still mostly human in the middle of all of this.

However, he was getting more stable, and he'd helped with refining a lot of systems in heaven. He'd explained how their Father dealt with and determined the order for stars going nova and burning out, the plans for future growth throughout this universe of new planets and organisms, and even about how the worships services were arranged for the human souls in that side of the Silver City. All were things that had fallen to the wayside or been confusing before Michael had come to straighten it out.

But the soul ledgers were still locked, the ink or actual writing within them obscured by a spell that even Michael couldn't remember using. Every day, all day, he and she sat side by side as he poured over books in the archives and tried to remind himself how he'd locked the balances to begin with. After a while, however long, he hadn't made any progress in unlocking them again. And that was the part of heaven that was most dire. Without the ledgers opened, weighing souls was taking too long. That was causing delays getting souls into heaven and then when souls were judged and turned over to Hell, a backlog in processing them to the recovery rooms too. It also meant Azrael was running around nuts with her team of psychopomp seraphim trying to recover human souls, wandering about earth and stuck in between realms because even getting to heaven right now was blocked up more than the line at Lux on a Friday.

So, you know, a lot.

But whatever trauma had locked the secrets of his own ledgers away from him was persistent, and Michael couldn't recall the right way to open them again.

They were coming to the end of another fruitless day of research. Frustrated, Michael took one of the ledgers in his left hand and hurled it across the archives, managing to hit the crystal wall opposite him with a thud strong enough to make that wall shake.

Ella jumped and eyed him. "Holy crapballs."

Michael shrugged his left shoulder. "I was the Sword for a reason. I mean, once I was no slouch in a fight. I…even the longer my bitterness at Samael warped my body, I was still the best fighter, much to the First Born and Remiel's and so many others' frustrations." He leaned back in his chair, wincing a bit when his wing wounds settled against the crystal lattice at his back. "But apparently my mind is still like fucking Swiss cheese, and I don't remember the one thing we all need to know."

She frowned and set a hand over his bad one, surprised for a moment he let her, but he did. Ella held it close and patted the back of it. "I know that. Gabby and Raphael…we all know how hard you're working."

Michael snorted. "The rest of the Host don't. My brothers and sisters-as if they didn't side with me for the second war-they expect me to destroy them all in a flash or try and overthrow Menny right now."

"They couldn't," she said, not sure but hopeful most of his brothers and sisters were indifferent. She knew some like the still-on-assignment Jegudiel couldn't stand him. But eventually family forgave each other, right? She hated Ricardo a lot…but if he needed her, she'd still show up. "I have to believe that they see how hard you try. I mean, you did really fix the chaos in worship schedules and-"

"No one cares," he growled, but he didn't yank his hand back. "Whether it was once father or now Amenadiel or the whole Host. No one gives a shit if you're the one keeping stuff running by burning the candle at both ends. They care when you fail or when things that ran seamlessly for epochs falter. I did so much for so long, and no one ever…never mind."

She squeezed his hand gently. "I care."

He snorted. "You literally have to."

Ella glared up at him and set her hands on her hips. "Dude, we established we're friends. I could have cut an hour or two ago cause it's past dinner time and I'm starving. I stay because you're my friend, and research that doesn't lead anywhere is about the most frustrating experience on earth."

"Not on earth, chica."

"You know what I mean. I…you will get it. I don't know exactly how or why you locked the right words or incantation or whatever other key away, but you'll find it, Michael. I know you will."

He sighed, stood up stiffly, and reshelved the volume he'd hurled. "You have so much faith, Lopez. No wonder the First Born likes you so much. No wonder Father did when he met you."

She nodded and threaded her arm through his left one when he was ready to go with her to catch a late dinner. "Well, you know that faith extends all over. It definitely extends to you."

"It shouldn't."

"I get to choose, and you've solved like four things already. You'll get this one!"

They continued down the corridors and out of the library archives, crossing through the crystal peace garden and to the commissary. Michael looked up at the long, never-ending line of souls at the pearly gates. Usually a few dozen would wait for St. Peter each day, apparently. Now, the line stretched so far that it blurred to Ella's perspective.

"I know we're running out of time."

"Then we still have some!" she shouted.

He huffed. "I'd say you were high on too much coffee, but we don't have that here, and ambrosia isn't an upper. I really got stuck with the Energizer Bunny of humans, huh?"

"You know that one too?"

He nodded. "I paid attention to my visits on earth and sometimes just talked Gabby or even Rae Rae's ears off. I wanted to learn. I wasn't necessarily fond of humans, no offense."

Ella rolled her eyes. "We aren't all monkeys."

"You're not. I'd never say that about you. You've had an upgrade."

She stopped walking and poked him in his good shoulder. "So does that mean you'd never give me a second thought if I didn't have some spare angel mojo juicing me up."

Michael turned then and confused her by setting a hand on her cheek. "Honestly, Lopez, I doubt the reason you're so damn addictive-annoying too but addictive somehow at the same time-has thing one to do with whatever my brother did to you. In fact-"

He paused then and pulled away from her. Ella was left licking her lips and not even sure what she expected. Surely he hadn't been about to kiss her, right? That was nuts. She stumbled a bit, kept herself on her feet just barely, and turned to follow Michael's line of sight.

Then, she gasped. "What the fuck?"

Amenadiel was walking toward the main part of the palace after probably eating, and he had Michael following him. Well, it had to be a Michael because the scar was on his face and the right leg limped a bit as he strode around. Besides, even if his ban were lifted, Lucifer had too much to do to leave Hell for very long and he reserved that time off for secret rendezvous with Decker or a quick check in on Rory where their daughter couldn't see.

Like that was a good idea…

"Michael, uh, are you a triplet, and no one told me?"

He shook his head. "Gabriel said Amenadiel had her traveling a lot to other universes and…oh."

She followed him, taking three steps for each of his own as he came up to his brother and, well, himself. Though this version of Michael, despite the scar and the hunched posture, still seemed healthier. He had two dark grey wings. One had less sleek feathers and hung a bit off kilter, but this Michael still had his wings, and beside Ella, her friend stiffened.

She slid her arm through his and squeezed his left hand to ground him. It would be beyond bad if God and Michael got into a fight in the middle of the Silver City. Biblically bad. "Amenadiel, what's going on?"

The other Michael stopped chatting with Amenadiel and focused in on her. "Oh, a Lopez, not surprised. Do you run a chop shop too and sometimes help my brother for bribes on his idiot cases?"

Ella blinked. She'd boosted cars into her twenties but had left that behind for forensics years ago. "No, I'm a forensic tech for the LAPD. Well, I will be again, but Amenadiel said he needed my help for a while here and made arrangements."

The new Michael nodded briskly. "Right, yes, and that explains why you're not fully human currently."

Her Michael was still gasping a bit like a fish on land, but he'd recovered enough to study his counterpart. "So, even in whatever universe you're from, our idiot twin is running around for the LAPD?"

"Recent thing, to be honest. He started sniffing after an actress. She made all these dumb Bonnie Genaro flicks but I mean explosions are about Sam's speed for a plot to follow. Anyway, she decided to go into police work with her father, and he trails her around like a puppy. It's ridiculously pathetic."

Ella's eyes widened. The thought of alternate universes had felt abstract. She knew Gabby could go to other places and that the Goddess of All Creation had her own new universe, but she just hadn't thought too hard about an alternate version of herself or of her friends before. Yet here they were. And apparently wherever this Michael was from, Decker's dad was still alive and she had stayed an actress a hell of a lot longer.

"I…whoa." It was all she could say, but it still…it stuck in her throat.

Yeah, definitely, you could watch a million reruns of Rick and Morty but still be confused by a multiverse in person.

Michael nodded agreement but then swiveled his head toward his brother. "Great, so why is he here?"

Amenadiel had the good grace to at least look embarrassed at being caught, gazing away from Michael first. "Raphael suggested it. If you're having trouble still accessing all parts of your memory, then she suggested that other versions of yourself…maybe they had similar ledger locking systems. So far, the first three haven't had a clue."

This other Michael shrugged and stared a bit at her Mike's utter lack of wings at all in the Silver City. "Yes, well, I think each universe tends to run its ledgers in its own way. I've never seen an organizational system like yours, but I hope you can get it open." He shook his head. "Rotting souls are no joke."

Her Michael (and she wasn't questioning when she started thinking of Mike that way) clenched his jaw a bit. "Yes, we know. I'm on it." He glared back at God. "In fact, I think I can make some progress for a few more hours back at the archives after all."

He pulled away from her then and was marching on his way before Ella could even call him back.

Amenadiel sighed. "Thank you for the assistance. Gabriel can get you home. I…it's easier to have only one of each angel here if you know what I mean."

The other Michael shrugged and regarded Ella. "And the one Celestially-endowed human, check." He tsked a bit toward Amenadiel before heading toward the palace and, presumably, to Gabby's quarters. "You must be beyond desperate to graft so much power onto a human. I hope it pans out for her."

"What do you mean?"

He shrugged. "I just know Dad wouldn't have taken that risk where I'm from, but my version wouldn't have left us all behind either. Later, short-stuff."

She groaned, realizing that one Michael, as much as she liked her friend, was plenty to deal with. She rounded on Amenadiel and cursed him out for a bit in Spanish and then French before calming down. "Are you an idiot?" she hissed in English finally.

Amenadiel frowned. "I actually thought Raph's suggestion was smart. There are infinite universes and Michaels. Following that logic, one of them had to lock up the soul ledgers in a similar way or almost exactly like Michael here did. Ella, you see the line getting longer all the time. You know how long it's been since Azrael has had time to check in with us at all. It's getting really bad, and if Michael can't remember…we have to have alternate plans to get back correctly on Dad's systems."

She rubbed at her temples, despite her new nature, already feeling a headache coming on. "You don't get it. He's done terrible things. I love Dan. I miss him. I know I'm on duty here and not really supposed to sneak to the human souls' side and see him and Charlotte." Though she had a few times already. "But I get how Michael's feeling, some at least. He lost. He killed his sister in a struggle and a bet that if he could save heaven and preserve it, it would be worth the loss. That's shitty, but he thought it would even it out. It didn't. He got his wings cut off and instead of at least banishment to earth, got shoved to Hell and then he just fell apart, and by the time Lucifer cared to get him out or therapy him, Michael was too far gone to realize where he even was. It took you getting me, some human he barely knew, and having me beg him along with the two sisters he has who don't hate him to get him to kind of realize where he was at all. He has nightmares and his wings are gone and the wounds are perma-infected. Everyone here sucks and they're cliquey, almighty assholes like Jegudiel-"

"I sent him away for now."

"But, everyone hates us both. We get whispers and jokes and barbs and everything where they think you can't see. They think I'm some upstart cause I'll be a normal human when this is all over, but I borrowed some stuff for now. They hate him for his actions and because he has no wings. So in all of this mean girls, high school mierda, Michael's trying. He is remembering stuff every day, and clearly…I dunno, but you decided he wasn't expedient or fast enough or a good enough tool, so you've literally got his favorite sister ever on finding a replacement to fix it fast for you. Do you get how shitty that has to feel?"

He gaped at her, and it was clear from the way he blinked large, confused eyes back at her that none of this had crossed Amenadiel's mind.

"Ella," he started, setting large palms on her shoulders. "we have to fix this. The universe can't go on like this, and if we have a better option than Michael, well our version, we have to ask."

"So he's expendable? Like a tool." She pulled away and swiped at her eyes. "That's how your dad felt about him, and I thought you and the council were trying to be better than that."

Ella turned on her heels and back toward the palace. She had lost her appetite and hoped a hot shower would do wonders for the tension in her neck and shoulders now.

She woke to screaming so loud it felt like an earthquake in heaven, like the palace was shaking beneath her. Ella jumped up and slipped on some yoga pants along with the tee she'd already been wearing and ran for Michael's room. As far as she knew, Gabriel was still looking for other Michaels and not in this universe. So if anyone was going to try and calm Michael down after his nightmares, it would have to be her.

It sure as fuck wasn't gonna be Amenadiel.

She slid into his room and stilled at the side of the bed. Michael was thrashing around wildly, begging-she could tell from the whimpers punctuating his words even if she didn't speak Enochian-and already sobbing, with tears streaming down his face. At least he didn't have his wings. She had a feeling those would be the worst things a mostly-human could wander up to. She'd passed the training grounds enough to see what a full pair of bladed wings could do.

But Michael was an archangel, technically, and he could toss her through a wall if he flailed.

Ella stepped up slowly and called to him, "Mike? Hey, Michael? It's Ella. You're sleeping."

Michael continued to thrash, and his next scream was so loud that the window beside him cracked and then shattered. The crystal crumbling under the strength of his bellowing.

"Michael, please!" She took a deep breath as he sobbed more. "Oh screw it!"

Ella dashed fast as she could and slid onto the bed. She wrapped her arms around his waist and curled up on top of him, holding him close. "Michael, please, you're home in the Silver City, and you're safe."

For a few long moments, it reminded her of this bar near the precinct, one that had an electronic bucking bronco. She'd made it once to six whole seconds at Shooters. This was like that but with the archangel who'd helped run heaven for millennia.

So, actually, a lot harder.

However, all her practice had paid off because she was able to stay holding him until his eyes popped open and wide, gleaming gold eyes stared back at her. "Lopez?"

She nodded and then realizing both that she was on top of him directly and, uh, he seemed very interested, Ella blushed. "Sorry, you weren't hearing me, and I know I'm not Gabby, but she's not here and you were so scared. I just wanted to help."

Michael coughed and, oh yeah, he'd noticed the reason things felt so pointed, no scratch that, awkward too. He sat up and she rolled off him. After a bit of rearranging, she was sitting beside him, her shoulder up against the midpoint of his upper arm because he was so damn tall. He had moved a pillow over his lap discreetly, and she was game to pretend things hadn't gotten weird if he was.

Instead, she settled her hand on his shoulder beside her. "Michael, do you…do you want to talk about it?"

"I wish Gabriel were here; she's less nosy."

She sighed. "I don't know what you've talked about with your sister, Raphael, but I know if Linda were here, she'd tell me that you can't get better if you just ignore things." Ella took a long, hard breath in. "I know it too. I kept trying to pretend everything was fine after Pete almost killed me and it wasn't. It took time and talking to not just a therapist but my friends too, to having a good uh friend," she said, skipping around who Carol had been to her.

"You mean you had to get back on that horse, right?" he winked at her and tapped his temple.

She was used to him reading her fears. It was annoying, but she knew he couldn't help it often, not always block it out, especially with how fractured his psyche was lately. Besides, it evened things out. She'd just seen him screaming out of terror, the least she could do was cop to the fact that also rebound dating had helped convince her that she wouldn't end up necessarily with a serial killer again.

"Yeah, moving on helped too. I just…what's going on? What did you dream? I know I'm not Gabs, but I…I do care about you, and I'd do anything to help you."

He quirked his head at her and his jaw hung low. "You want to help me?"

"Duh, and I think I said 'do anything.'"

"I don't deserve that."

"I didn't say you did, but you're my friend and, honestly, one of like three people I can stand in heaven at all, which I did not see coming. Angels really are full of themselves, right?"

"Oh yeah, welcome to my life, chica. I just…it's hard."

She nodded and moved to thread her arm around his. "I had so many nightmares after Pete. I thought I'd never sleep again."

"This was so many things. I…yes, what I did to Remi. I feel like I'll never be clean, like I'm covered in her blood-crusted in it-and it'll never come off. Angels don't kill angels. That's for the Sam to do."

She blinked at him. "He what?"

"Complicated and long story, and damn it, Uriel didn't deserve that. I just…but it's more than that. It was the arena where we fought and sometimes tonight, I killed Samael but most of the time he killed me. Or I felt over and over him slicing through my wings. It was so much pain, and I just screamed and screamed." He rubbed at his temples and looked away. "And Hell."

"I'm sorry you ever had to go there. They should have found another way to contain you till they knew what they wanted to do with you."

"They knew, Ella," he said, his voice wavering. "The only reason I'm not still scrubbing the corridors is because Amenadiel needed me to help fix this mess. As soon as he finds an alternate Michael who can do the same thing, you have to know where I'm going, don't you?"

She shook her head and hugged him again, careful to keep her arms low so she didn't accidentally graze his wing stumps. "No, there's no way the council would shove you back there. Lucifer wouldn't allow that either. He saw how badly you were doing there, that you wouldn't work with anyone from Freud to Jung or any of the guys down there. I…this is your home!"

He snorted in her grasp, and then…well he kissed the crown of her head. She thought she'd imagined in till he did it a second time and settled his chin on her head. "Yes, the home where no one can stand the sight of me. The home where my siblings take time to trip me or remind me what a crippled mess I am if they think they can sneak it past the First Born."

"I'm here."

He picked his head back up and stroked her cheek. "But you won't be either. Once we fix the ledgers, you get to go home. I get…I know I'm here because I'm needed. When they don't need me any longer, they'll throw me away like trash."

"I know that Amenadiel-"

"He didn't tell me he was consulting alternate mes, Lopez. Why do you think that was?"

She swallowed hard, realizing that it was about as bad as it looked, but hoping she still had time to talk sense into Amenadiel too. "Well, maybe I can stay longer after we save the universe." And yeah the words felt weird coming out of her mouth, and she'd never get used to this life. "Or maybe you'd come back to earth with me?"

"What?"

"Why not? I mean, I'm not the only fun human."

"Debatable but I…you'd be done babysitting. Why would you want to keep being my parole officer."

"Because I…oh screw it…"

She leaned up and kissed him, and at first, he hesitated and then she set a hand on his shoulder and made a small, mewling noise. Michael responded then, and she found herself breathlessly kissing him for what felt like hours. In heaven time, who could even tell?

When they finally did pull back, she was heartened to see him smiling-not smirking-but actually smiling back at her. "See," she said, "we will figure this out. I swear it. Lo juro."

Michael nodded and leaned back in bed, curling up with his back to the wall and opening his arms up for her. Ella didn't have to be asked twice before settling against him, letting him spoon her. "Get rest, Ella. We have to get his ledger problem solved somehow, and the books start early. I…thanks."

She snuggled against him, turning for a moment just long enough to kiss his cheek. "Always, Michael."

Ella was almost asleep when Michael grumbled behind her. "Is that a Mickey Mouse dressed up to look like Frankenstein on your t-shirt?"

"Yup."

"Dear Dad, are you five?"

"You love it."

"You know, I think I do, chica."

Shirt link - products/franken-mickey-and-mummy-minnie?variant=19577791487066

V. She woke first the next morning to find Michael sitting at his desk in his quarters and staring at her like she held the secrets of the universe, which considering his age and her relative newness to the whole Celestial shebang, was laughable. Still, he stared at her like she'd hung the moon, and Ella blushed then. A riot of heat spread through her cheeks. And last night flooded back to her, that she'd not just hugged him close but made out with him.

She was sure that was night the kind of partnership Amenadiel meant when he'd asked her to take on this assignment.

Ella wasn't sure she gave a damn.

"You've been staring for a while?" she asked, sitting up in bed. "You know that you have this intense, serial-killer stare, right? I feel like I'm being watched by Joe Goldberg."

He snorted, probably affronted by her comparison, but both twins had the most intense gaze. They never seemed to blink. "I don't even know what that last thing is. Then again, chica, I never know what half of what you say means."

"Ooh, another show to add to the pile!" she chirped. Then, she finally looked down and gaped at herself. Her limbs and chest, even the tips of her hair were emitting and ethereal silver glow that wasn't quite blinding, but she had a feeling it could be someday. "What the heck? Did you do this to me?"

Michael shook his head and leaned back in his chair. "I think that my brother might not have a full handle on all of Dad's old powers-the ones he did get at least-after all. I think he might have done a bit more than make you temporarily immortal."

She blinked at him. "Well, he said I'd be kind of Celestial enough not to die up here. But I wasn't supposed to get powers." Ella huffed and blew a stray strand of hair from out of her face. "If you count being a nightlight a superpower."

"You're beautiful," Michael said.

She believed him. No one had ever accused the former Prince of Heaven of being a sweet talker. He had always been blunt, and it was Lucifer who was the charmer. It was refreshing in a way because while Lucifer never exactly lied, he could talk well around the truth. Michael always blurted out what he thought, at least with her, and never seemed to care about pretense one way or another.

She felt the blush heat her cheeks again. "I think I could help you read at night in secret. You know? Like those book lights for your paperbacks? I had one so I could read all the Fear Street and Goosebumps when Mamí and Papí wouldn't let me stay up to finish. But, you know, set on construction crew fixing the 405 at three a.m. levels of bright."

Michael sat back down next to her and casually set his left arm over her shoulder. "I think I know what he did, although I didn't see you glowing this much. I guess it's because you don't have your own wings…wouldn't completely put it past Menny to have messed this up that much too. But our wings…when we have them…are the concentration of the divine. You don't have that for now so night light. Also what the fuck are Goosebumps?"

"They're not very good but they scared me when I was nine."

"Would they now?"

She shook her head and bumped his shoulder a bit. "I've met Maze, so nope." Ella quirked her head to him. "Do?"

"Angels all have gifts, and Amenadiel upgraded you a bit more than he meant to, obviously."

She waved a hand around her torso. "Yeah, I'd definitely call it that."

"But we all control or have affinity for different things. Some of us saw patterns or can control time, but you know how well Sam and I work with emotions. I think that's what you do, even if you don't mean to yet."

She blanched at him. "Nah, dude, if I could make people scared or something, I think I'd notice."

Michael sighed and dropped his arm. Then, he looked ahead and out the window to the skyline (so to speak) of the Silver City and at all the angels practicing flying in formation under someone's command. She wasn't sure which sister it was; Michael had so many. "You would. It's not worth it, trust a guy, but you make people feel better. You have to. I haven't slept that well since I…since Sam took my wings."

She hugged him close then, her arms kept low as always to avoid his scars, the stubs where his wings had been. "I think it's just called being a good friend, Mike. I was worried I couldn't help as well as Gabby." Ella looked down at her lap. "Then again, I guess your sister doesn't confuse helping with nightmares with making out much. If I took advantage, I really am sorry, Michael. I'd never mean to do that."

He pulled away from her and, for a moment, her heart fell, thinking he was mad or worse that she really had made him feel awkward, taken too much advantage of his fear and state last night. But then he reached out with his good hand and ran it through her hair. "No, that part I liked, but even now, Lopez, I feel a calm I haven't in a very long time. I think that's your power and considering how you hug everything like some perky koala, it makes sense."

"Oh, everyone's a critic," she joked.

"You're comfort. Amenadiel might have overshot the grafting Celestial power onto by a bit, but I think it's…it's nice," he said, leaning down and kissing her.

They stayed like that for a while, exploring each other with hungry, desperate hands roaming over chests and curves. Ella was decidedly not thinking angelic thoughts. However, she realized the day was getting away from them and reluctantly-so very reluctantly-she pulled away from him and stood. It was a relief that while sucking face, she'd managed to turn off her divinity or the glow or whatever it was.

"Unfortunately, I'd comfort you forever and might literally be able to but the ledgers still aren't open and-"

Michael stood and turned to his closet and his normal robes for around the Silver City as opposed to his night one. "Agreed, those dead and rotting souls can't wait, but we're just tabling this, chica. I…I mean all of this, okay?"

She nodded and kissed him on the cheek before returning to her room to get dressed herself. "Oh, you better be. I know where you live if you break your promise."

The next bit of time (and she was probably never getting used to the seemingly endless, static nature of heaven) that passed was only bringing worse luck. The ledgers no matter what Michael tried or struggled to remember would not unlock. The lines of people were no longer just stretched for what felt like miles outside of St. Peter's gate, but it was worse than that. On earth now, souls were wandering in a confused, deteriorating state. Azrael and the seraphim assigned to handle deaths had tried to contain them in limbo for now, in the space between spaces, but the back up had to end soon or the natural order would collapse.

And Ella was convinced that the council and Amenadiel's brilliant (not) plan to just ask alternate universe Michael's for help was only making their Michael's dissociation and retrograde amnesia worse. Case in point, tonight while Gabby was away again searching for at least their thirteenth alternate Michael, her Michael was screaming again in his room.

Ella might start believing that she really, somehow had been remade into the Angel of Comfort (at least for a while) if Michael kept having nightmares. Every time he did, she woke up ready to run to him and with that same, silvery glow all over. She'd shown it to Gabby only, since Rae Rae was too busy on earth now to speak with. But the Angel of Messages-gossip that she was-had suggested Ella try not to show the Host what had happened to her, as some might be jealous or mad. So she hadn't, not even if she really wanted Raphael to give her a second opinion and a guess on what exactly Amenadiel had done to her.

Seriously.

Was she gonna get wings?

Ooh, if so, could she pick the color?

But as she hurried through the halls in the Celestial palace, her mind was only on Michael, on helping him. The Host were all desperate, the whole universe was, but they were putting impossible pressure on someone who wasn't well. He'd spent countless millennia in Hell, based on how time moved there, and before had been mutilated. Michael was trying everything he could to unlock his memory and to try and access the ledgers, to access the right ritual or artifact to unlock them. He just couldn't, but putting infinite pressure on him and making him feel he could be replaced in an instant if the right alternate universe Mike did the trick was not helping.

If anything, his nightmares were getting so much worse.

Ella skidded to a stop in his room, sparing a second to notice how the silver glow emanating from her refracted off the crystalline walls of the room, before she sat down on the bed beside Michael and stroked his curls back from his forehead. They were soaked with sweat and stuck to his skin.

"Michael, hey…ángel, it's Ella. You're…it's a dream!"

She reached up to shake his good shoulder, not willing to jostle his right side.

Michael moaned again and said something she didn't expect, not since almost all of his nightmares involved Remiel's death or Lucifer hurting him. "Dad, please. Tell me anything!"

Her heart twisted at that, knowing full well that his father had never even said goodbye to him. Amenadiel had told her even before she'd come to work for the heavenly counsel as a human consultant, that the Big Guy had told both him and Lucifer how much He loved them before going off to a new universe with their Mother, the Goddess of All Creation, for a fresh start. Hell, the Big Guy had even come to her and told her how she shone brightly, so brightly it could be seen from the Silver City.

And if he could see me now, she thought wryly.

But as far as she knew, God had never addressed his other children before running off into the sunset and apparently a world filled with centaurs if the hot gos from Gabby was true (and it usually was). He'd never said anything final to Michael at all.

She reached out again and set a hand over his chest, and to her shock, Ella watched as her hand grew to be the brightest part of her. It was so bright that she had to shut her eyes at the onslaught as it flared over Michael's heart.

When she opened them again, her skin was inert, and Michael was awake and breathing evenly. The archangel regarded her with hooded, guarded eyes. "Thanks." But he pulled away soon, sitting up and getting over with stiff steps to his chair. "I'm sorry you have to do that. I don't want you to feel I'm taking advantage of your power when Gabby can't be here."

"Mike…we're a team." She swallowed hard again. "I mean, I like you a lot. So, it's no big deal to help. Actually, it's nice that at least if Amenadiel messed up and made me a full angel that it can help you too. But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't really worried about you."

His posture stiffened further as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Because I can't fucking remember how I locked the ledgers or how to open them? Because all of the universe is resting on me not being a fuck up or half-crazed, and I can't get that fixed, right? Believe me, Sara and Raph lectured me just yesterday about how I'm not giving enough, how I must enjoy holding things back and playing games even now."

She stood up and walked over to him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. "I know you're not. Michael…you're not. They don't appreciate all the crap you've been through. Yeah, some stuff you brought on yourself and some they didn't really help with by dumping on you for billions of years. People snap, and you've helped with so many of the Silver City's other systems."

"But processing and judging souls is the most important business. I know the souls are rotting on earth. I know we're running out of time but I reach back into my memories of when or how I locked them to start, and it's blank. I want to fix this. I'm…I've done unforgivable things, but souls festering isn't…no human deserves that. It's never happened before because we've kept the system moving. It's painful and terrifying and even humans-"

"Gee thanks," she added wryly.

"-you know what I mean. I don't want this to happen to anyone, Lopez, but I can't unblock it and I don't know why!"

He grew rigid in her grip, but she hugged him harder. "I think I have an idea. I…when you were having your nightmare tonight, you were screaming at your dad. Maybe you need closure."

"He's fucked off to a faraway universe."

Ella pulled back enough to look him in his eyes, to study the hurt and fear in such deep, soulful irises. "But Gabby can get there, and I bet she can take passengers. What if what's blocking your memories isn't Hell trauma? What if it's not even related to the stadium fight and your wings? I…what if pain over your dad made you self-actualize or block out memories of running heaven with Him?"

"He won't want to speak to me." Michael sighed and ran a hand through his unruly mop of curls. "I know it."

She kissed him. "I'll go too. I mean if I'm an actual angel and not just borrowing the immortality, then I can come along. Whatever your dad does or doesn't do…I'll be there right beside you, promise."

He stood and she set her head against his chest. Ella didn't ask where he'd found just regular boxers in the Silver City, but she figured Amenadiel had grabbed him also more typical human clothes as well. She could see Amenadiel also being fond of that in his private moments and not always being formal in ceremonial robes. His chest was warm, the skin almost feverish to the touch, but Ella held him tightly anyway.

"I'll keep you safe."

Michael laughed and kissed the top of her head. "You're not ready for the Presence, even one who gave up His powers. You're certainly not that impressive even for an angel. You're maybe a buck fifteen soaking wet and don't have wings yet or maybe ever."

"I am getting them and they are going to be amazing."

He looked down at her, and she gulped at the strength of his trust. "I know you are, and they'll be the most brilliant pair the Silver City ever saw."

Universe hopping was not what she expected. It was mostly a lot of trying not to scream and even for herself freeze as Gabriel flapped them both to the Goddess's domain. In fact, it was such a bumpy, icy flight that Ella was sitting quietly in the sunny meadow with Gabriel, trying to make small talk with the Goddess and like four centaurs and they were all kinds. Not just half horse but zebra and deer and basically anything hoofed. She hadn't seen a porcine one yet, but she had a feeling Michael's mom had made some of them too.

This was definitely a crazier universe than her own, but it was kind of neat too. Now she really was a multiverse-hopping Latina.

Rick Sanchez, eat your heart out…

However, across the meadow, the Big Guy-well former Big Guy-was lounging in a lawn chair with his socks-and-sandals combo as well as a multicolored, cable-knit sweater. He looked like any average grandpa, and it was hard even though she knew, even if as a mostly angel she could feel the former traces of omnipotence in Him, to really wrap her mind around everything.

But she watched, even as Gabriel and the Goddess talked about the universes Gabby had visited lately to help save the ledgers, and bit her lower lip as she worried about Michael. The longer he talked, the more his father smiled banally at him and the more agitated Michael grew. She got worried when his shoulder started to hitch so high, but when Michael began pacing, Ella hopped up fast and scurried to that side of the meadow. She hadn't been that interested in Gabriel's tale of a universe of nothing but shrimp either and was downright confused when the Goddess asked if she thought that extended to a world of nothing but cheese too.

Yeah, okay, not gonna ask…

Ella neared the fraught talk, coming to stand a few yards from Michael who was giving a labored, staggering pacing routine before his father.

"Do I mean nothing to you, Father?" Michael demanded, stopping and standing still before his dad.

His father looked up at him and turned his head this way and that, as if he were trying to understand Michael like a puzzle with jagged pieces or some even missing. "You were useful when it was needed, Michael. What more do you want Me to say?"

Michael shoved his hands in the pockets of his robes and huffed. "That isn't the question I asked, and you know it. I'm asking you again-did you ever love me? Did you ever even care about me?"

"I thought you were wonderful at managing the Host. It was where you shone, Son."

"That's not an answer."

Ella frowned and drifted close enough to grip Michael's right hand in her own, her silvery glow spreading between them both and calming him she hoped. At least he wasn't breathing as heavily. God's non-answers or not quite saying the full truth reminded her so very much of Lucifer. And not in the good way.

For the first time, God seemed surprised. It occurred to Ella then that Amenadiel might not be omniscient but the Big Guy wasn't either, not with the way his eyebrows were racing to touch the edge of his newsie cap.

"Well, Ella Lopez, I can safely say that I didn't expect my son to start making angels of his own. Amenadiel has made some interesting choices so far in his reign," God said, looking pointedly back to Michael.

Ella squeezed Michael's hand harder, trying to give him all the comfort she could, but there would probably never be enough of it to soothe her poor angel, not with the way his father got to him. "Yeah, it's been for trying to fix this gaffe in heaven-"

"I don't know how to unlock the ledgers either. I might have known back when I knew it all, but I left the details as well as designing and running the system to Michael. He should know."

"I don't…my memory has gaps," Michael replied, looking down to his feet.

"Perhaps you shouldn't have tried to force being God, Son. You knew that role wasn't ever for you. I'm a bit surprise Samael refused it, but I did tell him Hell didn't need a warden. I blame myself for him getting whatever idea in his head about healing. The system worked before."

"Did it?" Michael asked. "Did it help that humans who had done nothing really wrong languished there for eternity as their guilt consumed them but serial killers and genocidal monsters with no conscience and thus no guilt got a pass?"

Ella gasped; it had been so busy she hadn't had time to ask about that. But if there was no guilt…

"Really?"

"I have My ways," God said.

"They're not the ways anymore. I don't get along with Menny, but I get why he's doing what he is. I get Sam trying to help people, even if maybe I'm a lost cause."

"You killed Remiel," his father bit back.

Michael's shoulder hitched yet higher. "I did but-"

"You would remember if you were worthy of fixing the problem, Son. You never were. If you're here to stand around and ask me for blessing or praise or my love, then I don't have it to give and your universe sounds like it doesn't have time to rot much longer."

Ella was under Michael then, settling up under his right side, even as he stumbled with the emotional blow. "I don't get you! You said I had such a bright light you could see it from heaven."

God nodded to her and looked to the glow dying out from her hand. "And I was right, apparently in more ways than one, Ella. But Michael was designed to be the Lightbringer's shadow, made to keep the balances in the backrooms and weigh souls as needed. When I needed a general to terrify Eldritch terrors and Old Ones back from our former realm, then that was his talent too. He has been of service. That should be enough."

"But do you love me?" Michael croaked out, and his grip would have crushed Ella if she were still fully human.

"No, Michael, I never did, but I was grateful for your work." And with that, God stood and walked off into the forest at the edge of the meadow.

Ella was able to half walk with and half drag Michael after such a damning bit of bullshit back to the other side of the grass, over to where Gabby had wandered off with a zebra-taur and a minotaur as well. The Goddess, who still looked just like Charlotte and that was so weird, had chosen to stay seated on a picnic blanket sprawled out on the ground. She was nibbling on cheese when they arrived, maybe brie? Ella wasn't sure.

She set Michael down with her and hugged him tightly. "Your dad is-"

"Right," Michael replied evenly. "I'm best when I'm useful. That was the only thing that I was good at, keeping everything running. If I can't do the most basic thing and unlock the damn ledgers, then maybe Menny should just shove me back in Hell."

"Lucifer and he would never do that!"

"Do you know that for sure?" Michael asked.

And she started to say of course again, but Ella wasn't sure because even if Michael had refused every therapist in Hell more than once, his brothers had left him there to scrub the corridors and self-flagellate for a while and only tried to get creative with interventions when the universe, itself, needed him and his insider knowledge.

She took his right hand and sandwiched it between both of hers, squeezing them together. "I care about you, and I like you, and it has nothing to do with being useful."

The Goddess regarded him, her expression pinched. "You father-"

"He doesn't mean well, Mother. Clearly, he never did. I was an idiot to come here," Michael said.

"And I'll speak with him. Also kick him to the couch for a month here. Michael, my shadow child, you and Lucifer were always meant to be opposites."

"Yeah," Michael huffed. "Believe me, I know."

"But that means you're both as powerful as the other, as talented in complimentary ways. He shone brightest, but you exist in the corners, the darkness, but because of that, you know the secrets and understand the pain others can't express. It wasn't…we didn't mean for it to end up as a curse."

Ella frowned at the Goddess. "I don't understand."

She reached across and stroked Michael's cheek, the one scarred a while ago by Lucifer's blade. "It might not be what you wanted to hear, Michael, but I love you. Any version of me would love you. I treasured all my children, but my brilliant, beautiful twins the most. And you are that. You understand fears and if you dig harder, one day, you'll maybe understand how to help others through them too, if you want. But you're enough for me as you are, and I know that's true for Gabriel. I'll talk to your dad. He might come around someday."

Michael sighed heavily and leaned away from Ella long enough to hug his mother. Ella pretended not to hear the watery, desperate sobs that ripped from his throat as he hugged the Goddess close. "Thank you. I needed someone to say that."

The Goddess nodded, pulled back, and kissed his forehead. "I know you can find a way to fix your problem, but you can't stay in my universe forever. It's time for Gabby to take you both home." She kissed his scar once more. "But I love you, and that is true throughout the multiverse. I hope you understand that."

Michael nodded and stood, getting shakily to his feet. "I better go find Gabs. If she's cornered some poor antelope demigod with her stories…you know how it goes," he finished, hurrying off toward the last place they'd spotted Gabriel.

Ella wiped at her eyes and regarded the Goddess (who still was not Charlotte). "Thank you. Stupid thing to say to a mom, but thank you for loving him. Happen to know it doesn't always work out that way."

The Goddess arched a perfectly coiffed eyebrow back at her but didn't probe on Ella's own admission about her relationship with her mamí. "Thank you then for loving him too."

"I wouldn't say that-"

"Oh, I can see it. There are few beings dumb enough even with my husband retired to challenge Him. Even as He is, a former Presence could Will you to no longer exist with barely a thought."

She gaped at the Goddess. "I, uh, actually didn't know that."

"Yes, well, you're not exploded or turned inside out, so you did great!"

"Oh boy. Are you gonna?"

"Of course not. My dear boy's powers make him alone. Lucifer, like his nickname, lit up every part of the Silver City. Michael…did not, but I waited a long time for someone to see it, to provide that light to his darkness and his self-loathing. I'm glad you have."

"Yeah, but I'm not really an angel. I mean, when this problem is fixed, Amenadiel is going to take the Celestial stuff back, and I'm gonna just be little old Ella again, you know?" She sighed and picked at a blade of the cerulean grass before her. "Besides, Michael deserves way better. Uh, not a real angel cause they're all related but you know what I mean. Someone who's an actual demigod or goddess or Celestial, not the Wish version."

"I do not know what that means."

"The cheap knockoff type," Ella clarified.

The Goddess nodded even as Gabby and Michael came back into view. "Are you sure that's what you actually are, Ella?"

VI. "You have to do something, Michael! At this point, I think you're doing this on purpose," Amenadial growled, slamming his fist on the armrest of his throne. He rarely used it; as far as Lopez had said, the First Born mostly kept his counsel these days in a conference room with the other archangels nominated to be on his council of most trusted advisors. Mostly egalitarian, but Michael of course was the tool. Like Dad, like his idiot, thick-headed older brother. "It's been months even by Earth-time. If you're just doing this to-"

"To what?" Michael said, unable to resist poking. "Drawing this out so you won't kick me back to down to Hell? You think I enjoy this? That I like feeling all this pressure and hearing the whispers around heaven that I'm sabotaging the city I ran for eons for funsies? You think I like feeling the fear from all the Host now as reality cracks around us? Azrael is even back now, resting for a few days here because she's lost souls even in limbo. They've rotted to nothing, and that's never happened before. You think I wanted that to happen on my watch?"

Ella popped in between them both, positioning herself between the throne and him. She set her hand over his weak one, and he was going to become addicted to the silver light that lanced through her to him, taking the edge off his panic and, honestly, self-recriminations.

"Guys, stop. This isn't helping, and Amenadiel isn't going to send you back. We just…we have to figure out how to get the ledgers unlocked. They open, which great, but they can't be read because the ink's not accessible. We have tried every spell and charm in this universe, and some in several others to get them open. I know Michael had to have locked them somehow, and we can find it. We can!"

Her voice grew weaker on that last part. It had been so long, and it felt like nothing was ever going to get better, like more souls would rot on the vine until this universe festered with them. And again, all on his watch. And Father was so very right. If he wasn't even of service, what good was he?

"Lopez, just stop."

She blinked up at him, and he could see the pain in her eyes, the way her face crumpled before him. "We can do this."

"Maybe, but I don't think any of the three of us believe that anymore. And with the parade of other-verse Michaels Amenadiel has had through here, I think he really wanted to find any other option too. I…tell me, Brother, did you want to find one that would work long enough to fix the Silver City and the system, get it all put back together so you could throw me back to Hell."

Ella shook her head. "No, there's no way that-" She rounded to Menny. "You aren't thinking of sticking him back there now, are you?"

"Don't lie, Amenadiel. I've seen no less than sixty other me parading around. You were thinking something," Michael said.

Amenadiel looked down at his lap, his grip even harder on his throne until crystal cracked. "For what it's worth, Luci doesn't want you back. He really did…he wanted to help you first but no therapist, he said, ever fit you. But I see how you don't really fit here either, Michael. I know you've tried, but part of me can't help but think all these 'memory issues' are yet another round of games. I wasn't going to send you back to Hell, but without your wings…I just thought maybe you'd fit better on earth."

"Would I get papers for that or just have me around, crippled, in terrible pain, and with now way to even prove enough identity to hold a job?" Michael gritted out.

He watched as Lopez drifted toward him, wrapping a small, fragile arm around his waist. The only consolation in Amenadiel's machinations were that at least earth wasn't Hell and if they ever did figure out the ledgers and Ella ended up mortal again, they could be together, at least for the forty or fifty years she had left.

"I am sure I can talk to some contacts Lucifer could recommend or even Chloe would know fencers and forgers around L.A., at least ones currently on parole."

"How generous," Michael said.

"Amenadiel," Lopez said, her voice a hushed whisper. "You can't be serious. This is his home. He should get to choose once we fix everything."

"The rest of the council also felt-" Menny started.

Michael barked out a laugh, thinking of how he'd been treated except by Gabby and, when she actually got a break, Rae Rae. "And that's the least surprising thing I've ever heard. Fine, those are fair terms. I don't want to be in this shithole anyway. If you all…you only see what you want. Sam? Me? Whoever doesn't toe the line. Even poor, lost Uriel. If you're not exactly the right kind of angel," and he looked to Ella sadly, thinking of how no one but Gabby had warmed up to her or even tried just because of how she'd been gifted Celestial powers, because she didn't count enough, "then no one wants you here. They drive you out till somehow heaven is hell. If your system keeps doing that, no matter how you try to have a council or human lessons or anything else, this Silver City will fail just like Father's did."

Ella nodded and sniffled too. "Amenadiel, I expected so much more, so much better."

"It was just what we thought was most comfortable."

"For who?" she asked. Ella pulled way from Michael long enough to glare up at God's throne. "It's for you that you wanna do this. Because learning to forgive is too hard and because learning to trust again takes time. But mostly, I think it's because Michael isn't perfect. I mean he's surly and cheap and kind of annoying-"

"Uh chica?"

"But he tries so hard and everyone knows it, but no one cares because he's missing his wings, has a messed up side, and makes people nervous sometimes without meaning to. If you got a pass for having your self-actualization make your wings rot off like you said, then why does everyone hate Michael for having a bad right side. He can't help it. And he can't help he's Fear, and you all judge all the time. Me and him and anyone else, and it sucks! Está a pesta! It's bullshit, and I thought you were better than that. I mean, Charlie deserves better than that."

His meathead of a brother gaped back at her. "I'd never judge Charlie, not the way Dad did for us."

"Really because I mean didn't you kind of ask me when I used to tutor him and even before I knew about wings…any wings that might just be popping out?" Ella asked.

"I was just hoping for the best for Charlie," Amenadiel said.

Michael gave a low whistle, feeling again from Amenadiel the same fear and shame in the precinct long ago. "But you were relieved when he was an angel too. Admit it."

"Don't read me, Brother," Amenadiel said.

"But it's true, isn't it? You love him just a bit more because he's a Celestial, because he's exactly what ou wanted, which is great for Charlie. But that's so much like Father, who made it clear to me on our little universe bar crawl that he didn't give a shit about me…because He thought I wasn't good enough. So, yeah, I think you are the best person to run the Silver City. You're the most like Dad, and our brothers and sisters are used to that. They all are."

"I'm not as judgmental-" Menny started.

"But you are. None of you really welcomed him home. You just kept pressing him for what he knew, and don't care about the way his wing stubs aren't healing or his memory is blocked off from trauma and because he's in pain or that you're shunning him all over again for the billionth time!" Lopez shouted and she was so small but she was shining brightly, her silver gleam so brilliant that even God, himself, blinked at the onslaught. "He's more than what he knows or what he cand do. We will find a way to fix the ledgers, but he's not just a tool. He's your brother, and none of you but Gabby treat him like it. I…I love him, and I don't get why none of you can too."

Michael stared at her, his heart suddenly pounding in his chest. "Lopez, what?"

Amenadiel looked like he was flat out choking. "Ella? Are you serious? It's Michael!"

"And if you had more faith in him, then we'd have the ledgers fixed already, but you did anything but that," she said, squeezing Michael's right hand before heading over to the table where all the books and ledgers were laid out for the days research and incantation attempts.

"I won't stop trying to fix this, but I wish…never matters. What I want never does, Menny, but I wish you'd realized that I don't want the whole universe to implode. I'm a monster, but I'm not that huge of one."

He turned to follow after Lopez who was back to normal for her, no glow to be seen, and found her staring wide-eyed at the ledgers. Michael frowned and sidled up next to her and then called over his shoulder to the First Born. "They're open."

Amenadiel was over there in a flash. "They can't be. We didn't even try the spells for today yet and…"

He looked at the books too, the script in them illuminated now in easy to read, silvery ink. Michael blinked at Lopez. "You did it."

She laughed. "What?"

"You opened them. The way this was so bright, the way the light shone? You opened up the ledger with your powers. I don't know why or how the ink reacted to a power that never touched it before, but it did," Michal added.

Ella frowned. "I can't do that. Wait, can I?" Lopez had turned to his idiot brother for confirmation about her gifts.

Amenadiel's eyes opened wider. "I don't know all you can do, Ella. I never intended to give you powers beyond immortality and invulnerability for Heaven. I…this is remarkable."

Michael felt relief ease through him, allowing him to let his shoulder fall lower. He brought Ella close to his chest and kisser her hard. "That's my girl."

The ledgers were unlocked, the backlog was being undone as fast as possible, and even Raziel, the Angel of Secrets, had confirmed the damage-those cracks in the universe-were being undone. Michael should have felt relieved, but he there was a hollow pit in the bottom of his stomach. After all of this and his…his Ella tearing his brother a new asshole, Amenadiel had formally offered Michael a chance to stay in heaven from now on. There would be no exile to earth, now or ever.

However, as Ella was technically human and one who had never died, the council (and what a fucking puffed up name for his most annoying siblings) voted that she had to be stripped of her powers and returned to earth. It was for the good of preserving balance in the universe.

And that, of course, came with the added benefit that a pseudo-angel, a lesser one as his siblings had gossiped often about, would not pollute the Silver City. But if Lopez went back to earth, and he stayed here…without wings he could never see her again, well, at least till she most likely came back here at her actual time to die.

So, sure, Michael was finally being given a full second chance, but he just…it felt all like ash in his mouth.

There was a knock at his door, and he expected to see Ella. She spent the nights with him, and not actually like that. He just had less nightmares with her, slept better with her by him, and it was funny to him, odd that both of them had powers that were the opposite of one another. He made others uneasy by his very being, and she was living comfort. And yet, unlike the opposite push between him and Samael just as brothers, the differences between his and Ella's (however temporary) powers just felt right.

As if it pulled them to each other more.

However, it wasn't Lopez who was visiting him tonight.

Oh no. It was Gabby, and she was sniffling. Michael was up in an instant to wrap her in a hug. "Oh Gabs, you're not doing that, are you? No waterworks, little Sis. I get to really stay."

She moaned a bit and sniffled into his robes. "But Ella has to leave."

"Yeah, I…she's human, and she's spent a lot of time here. She's missed months back on Earth. It's only fair she gets to live out her human life," he spit that out with all the passion of reciting the Silver City's welcome speech.

Truly, Michael had no interest in any of this. He just wanted Lopez.

Gabby pulled aways and flopped onto his bed. "Yeah, sure big whoop. I saw you. Mom saw you. She was asking me when the grandchildren were coming!"

Michael rolled his eyes. "I am not gonna join Sam and Menny in that Nephilim club. Besides, Lopez…she can do a lot better."

"She has apparently way Rae Rae tells it, almost always done worse. You have to fight for her, Brother."

"She needs to go back to earth, live her life-"

His sister blew a raspberry at him. "Sure, whatever. Say it again with actual feeling. No way that you want her gone." She rolled her eyes. "No way you wanna stay here anymore than she does. I know…I wish the others weren't shitty."

"They are, and they know it," he said. "Even with whatever rules Amenadiel might make for being nice to the former human, they'll never treat her well. I don't want her stuck in the hell that is being ostracized here. I've lived it, done it, and it's the worst." Michael let out a long sigh, realizing that he meant it too. "I'd rather be back in Hell, making myself scrub floors to get clean, than…I'd rather all of that than be here with their whispers and their judgment for eternity. I can't do this anymore, and I'd do anything before I made her suffer through it."

"Then, do I have some hot gos for you. I found the perfect place!"

He turned and settled next to her on the bed. "I don't understand."

"But you will. In all my hopping, I found a universe where Lucifer's Rebellion was so big that Dad died and Michael so Mom had to take over and banish Luce to Hell herself. But she's so upset because she lost both twins and…I think you could slip in there, you and Ella. She's an angel now, whatever else she is, and that heaven needs a right hand and so much comfort and hope. That's where you'd both fit and where you'd be needed."

"I…" he gaped at her, not even sure what Gabby was saying was insane or the best thing he'd heard in years. "…but there's no way that Goddess would be alright with that, is there? Mom was pretty crazy on earth. We all saw or even heard the stories of her spree there."

"Mom still loves us. She loved us in her new universe, and this version of Mom wants a Michael, wants a you back. It's not exactly the same, but it's a place that you and Ella could just be as you are, could slip into a heaven that would treat you the way the rest of here should." She nudged him with her shoulder. "Besides, your favorite sisters could visit. I can go anywhere and whenever poor Azrael gets break, I'd bring her over. Seriously, in the contest? Ella would way by far be the best sister-in-law."

He laughed genuinely. "Don't tell Decker that ever. She's an excellent shot and bullets are annoying."

"You're so weird."

"Right back at you, Mike." She said, hugging him tightly. "So, do you…do you think you could do this? You think Ella would?"

"I don't know, but you bet your ass I'm gonna ask."

Epilogue

Michael swept into a deep dive over the palace. Reconstruction over the Rebellion was going slowly, but over the last year since he and Ella had universe hopped to their new home, the repairs were coming steadily at least. The Rebellion here had cost the lives of far more of the Host, and Mother had also had to damn others below along with Lucifer, as lesser beings.

As demons with no memory of who'd they'd been, just to keep the peace between heaven and hell, to keep this universe intact.

They'd needed the reinforcements, and even if this version of his Mother wasn't quite at the point where she always treated him as his own person and not just as her old Michael, this was better. He loved her strength and her dedication to this Host as its new queen, and she had found him both wise counsel and his now-wife a ray of sunshine, something that seemed multiversally true about Lopez.

It was all a work in progress, even now, but it was the most like home he'd felt…ever.

As he flapped hard, his restored wings a sleek gray in the fading light, Michael smiled up as Ella followed him. However Menny had fucked up his gift, well, it had actually worked out wonderfully. It had taken a month or two, but as he'd suspected, just as Ella had developed a Celestial power, not long after arriving in this Silvery City, she'd developed wings of her own.

Okay, so for about a week she'd been a really cranky mess over the wings growing out and the itching pin feathers, but it had been blissfully short-lived. Now, he watched her swoop after him-and she was too new and too small in wing span to ever really catch an archangel as old and powerful as he was, but damn if she didn't try-with her own wings gleaming in the sunlight. They were as large as any angels' but they had a brilliant, vibrant palette to them that reminded him of a hummingbird. The edge of her wing wrist was a verdant green that seemed shiny even in the dimmest of light and like glittery diamonds in the full sun. But the inner feathers were highlighted with lavender, indigo, and eggplant shades, blended together in the loveliest pair he'd ever seen.

He landed first on the balcony, as tonight they'd both promised to go to dinner with his mother, to discuss plans for once not related to rebuilding heaven. Lopez landed behind him, still a bit wobbly as she set down on her feet.

Michael walked behind her and curled his arms around her in a hug after she'd folded her wings to her back. Then, he kissed her cheek as well as her neck, nuzzling her until she giggled next to him. "Evel Knievel, huh? Might need to work on those landings, chica."

She poked his side. "No fair. You have literally billions of years of practice, dude. For like a year, I'm doing great."

He laughed to and wrapped her even tighter in his grasp. "So, imagine how good you'll be at your first billion."

"Oh that's…I am not getting my head around that either," she said.

"You'll be as hot then as you are now, promise."

"Thanks," she said, kissing his cheek. "I…I can honestly say that when a serial killer almost strangled me to death-"

"Yeah I should have beat the shit out of him for fun before leaving that universe."

"It's probably better you passed," she admitted. "But if you'd said then I was going to be a literal angel and help rebuild a heaven with my soulmate, I'd have said you were high and I needed the good drugs too so pass them on."

"Same," he said, though he had no stomach to go into the details of Hell. Lopez knew how bad it had been for him. "But we never have to go back to any of that, and the Host here love you…"

"I think they just are glad for reinforcements, but Remiel is teaching me all kinds of aerial stunts in training. I think she finds me interesting!"

Michael stilled at that. Somehow this Remi had glommed onto Ella, probably a novelty to have such a newbie to train again. He was keeping his distance, but one day, somehow, maybe he could get a chance to explain to her all the things…maybe she'd allow him to say everything he'd never said to his own sister. All his horror at how the struggle for Azrael's blade had ended.

That small voice he still worked to shut up that said it should have been you…

Ella seemed to notice the dip in his mood and that light glittered over her, putting him at ease. "You good?"

"Always, chica."

"I just…I still don't get how this," she said, holding up her hand, still silver and glowing, "opened up the ledger. I couldn't have locked it. It makes no sense."

"Neither did Rory coming back in time, messing around for weeks in our timeline, and then changing the course of Sam and Chloe's future. Both are weird paradoxes, just like Charlie was Celestial enough for my…for the other universe's Remiel to feel but not enough for Dad to be sure of. I think, maybe, that for once it's beyond the Presence, something deeper, like the multiverse itself was trying to course correct. Not sure why, but you being the key to a book you never locked…it's impossible, but it led to good things, like Charlie finally getting his wings or even Rory getting my brother to not only do his job but do it the right way."

"Finally getting over twin resentment?"

He laughed and set both hands over her burgeoning belly. It wasn't as far along as it was going to get, but she was almost four months and as this Raphael and also Raziel had confirmed, Ella had twins of her own percolating in there.

Michael fervently hoped they were not identical. That was…too hard, but whatever they were, he would love both of them as he knew she would. And the last thing they'd do would be to pit their twins against each other.

Ever.

Reluctantly, he let go of her and twisted around her. Leaning down, he kissed her cheek. "Mom doesn't like being kept waiting in any universe, so let's get cleaned up, chica."

She snaked an arm around him and pulled him back for a kiss so deep, Michael was pretty sure he'd have to speed through a cold shower to be appropriate for dinner after all. "I love you, Michael."

"Love you, too…actually," he said, smiling, and it felt like he did that ear to ear most days now. "I love all three of you," Michael finished, bending almost in half to plant a kiss to her belly.

And to the promise of new life both for their nascent family and for a war torn yet recovering realm.