Disclaimer: I don't own Crash or Smash.

Mario, Solid Snake and Princess Zelda were sitting in a row at the judges' table. They had been selected for the panel this season. It was their job to view the auditions that were to be performed before them. They were to decide if the candidates who were showing off what they could do could potentially join the upcoming season of Smash.

The plumber, the soldier and the monarch stared towards the figure who had just walked into the studio. He stood before the three judges with a wide grin. It was clear he was happy to be there at the auditions - and would be even more cheerful if his were to be a success. To join Smash was something he had wanted for a long time.

"Welcome!" Solid Snake greeted him warmly before checking his notes on the table. "Let me see, if this information before me if correct, then you are … Crash Bandicoot?"

The figure nodded at the mention of his name. His grin widened as he silently confirmed he was indeed who the judges had been informed he was.

"You have a real history behind you!" Zelda commented as she glanced at the notes. "It says here you have a large variety of games from platforming to kart racing - even party games!"

Crash nodded again. He was sure the judges would be impressed with his history. He didn't notice the look of resentment on Mario, who was not pleased to hear how much in common the bandicoots' games over the years had with his own. The Italian hero wondered if he was being ripped off - by a marsupial of all creatures.

"Soooo…" Mario muttered through gritted feeth, his hands clenching into fists under the judging table. "What a-fighting moves do you do?"

Crash's furry face lit up. This was the chance he had been waiting for. He was overly eager to show how he could be a worthy competitor for smash. The bandicoot began to show his abilities to the judges - by performing his spin attack.

"So you spin?" Zelda exclaimed. "Okay? Is there anything else?"

Crash blinked. The judges seemed a little underwhelmed by his signature attack. He thought it would be enough to convince them he was a capable fighter. He was willing to show that he could do more than that, however, so he proceeded to slide across the floor.

"You slide too?" Snake muttered. "Hmm… What else do you do besides spin and slide when in battle, young bandicoot?"

Crash frowned as he stood up. The judges hardly seemed impressed by his moves. Not willing to give up, the bandicoot jumped high into the air - before coming face down with a splat as he demonstrated his body slam.

"Is-a that all you can-a do?" Mario sneered, convinced by all that Crash had done before him that he was not as cool a game character as he was, let alone worthy to join the tournament. "You have to do a-better moves than that if you want to join Smash, Crash!"

A glare filled Crash's face as he got back up. His furry gloved hands clenched into fists. He knew exactly what to do to blow the judges away. There was no way they could turn him down after what he was to show them next.

The orange marsupial dove his hand into the pocket of his jeans - before bringing a gasp out of everyone in the studio as he pulled out into view his Wumpa Fruit Bazooka.

"Mamma Mia!" Mario cried. "He's got-a machine gun!"

Without warning, Crash pulled the trigger on his large weapon. Enormous blasts erupted from the bazooka, causing loud screams from the studio audience. It fired Wumpa Fruits all around the building. They flew through the air to strike anything in their path, causing a lot of destruction.

"Ai-ai-ai!" Mario wailed over the blasts that exploded from the enormous weapon in Crash's hand. "This is one a-mad marsupial!"

"Stop him!" Zelda wailed, ducking behind the judges' table to avoid the Wumpa Fruit being fired in her direction. "Somebody stop him now! This bandicoot is downright bonkers!"

As the studio audience and crew screamed from the firing of the bazooka, Snake calmly rose from his seat. He walked around from the table to head over to Crash. The soldier stood behind where the brainless mammal was shooting Wumpa Fruits all around the room - before suddenly grabbing him by his furry back, bringing a cry out of Crash as he was lifted off his feet.

"We cannot possibly allow you to compete in Smash with this thing!" Snake explained as he confiscated the bazooka. "It's a violation against our health and safety regulations."

Mario and Zelda nodded. There were plenty of weapons fighters used that were far crazier than a machine gun which fired fruit - but there would be clear health risks to everyone if such a firearm was being used by the insane bandicoot.

"Sorry, Crash," Snake apologised, shaking his head. "It's a no from me."

"I'm afraid it's a no from me too," Zelda added.

"I'm a-saying no as well," Mario finished. "Which means, unfortunately for you, Crash, you a-cannot join Smash."

Crash's face fell. He was utterly disappointed he couldn't join in the tournament that so many legendary characters were taking part in. To hear he wasn't going to be joining them was such a massive blow to the bandicoot.

"Do feel free to audition again next time," Zelda said encouragingly.

"Just don't bring this back with you!" Snake advised as he handed the Fruit Bazooka back to the marsupial.

"Until then…" Mario narrowed his eyes. "Get-a out!"

Still holding Crash in the air, Snake threw him as hard as he could. The bandicoot flew out through a nearby window to end up outside the building. He came plummeting down to where all the studio's garbage was dumped outside. There was a loud as Crash landed in the trash.

Laying where he had landed in the refuse, Crash frowned. How could his audition have failed to impress the judges? They actually had the gall to call him mad when they had refused to put him through to the contest! He was Crash Bandicoot! People had been crying out for years for him to join Smash! What a massive trick the organisers were missing by not allowing him to take part!

He'd show them! Next time they would hold auditions, he would prove they had been wrong to turn him down on this occasion! He would do whatever it would take to be accepted. Crash was determined for his efforts to join Smash to not at all be fruitless.

The end.