*Hey, guys! Thanks to everyone who's favorited, followed, and reviewed Chapter 1 so far! I very much appreciate the support and hope you enjoy Chapter 2.
Chapter 2: Wedding Crashers
Approximately a week had passed since the conclusion of Goku's tag match against Lum. After wrongfully assuming that the two of them were married, she and Mr. Invader left to retrieve an Alien Registration Permit from their home planet, Oni. Goku, of course, had no idea what that was, but Lum seemed to look particularly excited by it. She didn't really give him much of an explanation apart from planting a small kiss on his cheek and leaving without another word.
Chi-Chi would have been relieved by their departure if it weren't for the fact that most news outlets wouldn't shut up about Lum and her newfound "relationship" with Goku for that entire week. It caused her blood to boil way more than usual, much to Goku, Ox-King, and everyone else's fear.
At the moment, her and Goku were staying at Kame House with the rest of their friends. Ox-King was busy working on the construction of their new home on Mt. Paozu, so due to Grandpa Gohan's shack being too small, they needed a temporary place to stay. Unfortunately, Chi-Chi's patience was starting to wear thin the more she heard about Lum on TV. They kept playing the same news report over and over again, and she simply couldn't take it anymore.
Well, folks. It's been exactly a week since the beautiful, energetic Oni girl, Lum Invader, left the Earth. Some have speculated that she wishes to legalize the touching marriage proposal given to our planet's very own savior, Son Goku. Those lovebirds are truly something, aren't they?" Jimmy Firecracker described on Master Roshi's TV. He was standing in front of the street Goku and Lum held their competition.
Chi-Chi, seated on the couch next to Goku, grabbed one of the cushions to suppress her anger. She bit into it as hard as possible; an action which greatly worried Goku to a certain degree.
"Hey! Those weren't cheap, you know?" Master Roshi scolded in annoyance. Chi-Chi piercingly glared at him, causing the martial arts master to wince nervously. He adjusted his sunglasses and tried to look away from her.
However, over these past few days, some people have begun to doubt the validity of this monumental event in human history. They believe that Goku and Lum's unusual abilities, including their flight, were all staged as a publicity stunt to attract tourism to Central City. One such person is self-proclaimed martial arts enthusiast and former student of the fighting dojo, Satan Castle, Mark "Hercule" Satan. Let's see what he has to say on this matter.
The camera moved over to a twenty-year-old man with a black afro, black handlebar moustache, and blue eyes. Fairly muscular for his age, he wore a brown martial arts gi and a white sash above his waist. He additionally wore white pants and black boots to match this outfit.
"Pfft. Get a load of this joker." Krillin snorted.
So, Mark, you…"
I prefer to go by Mr. Satan now, Jimmy. Mr. Satan proudly interjected.
Erm…right. So, Mr. Satan, you claim that Goku's martial arts talents were greatly exaggerated in his fight against Lum? Jimmy Firecracker asked.
That's right! No disrespect to this Goku character, but it was obvious that he was using a bunch of fancy tricks and lightshows to catch that green-haired girl. What looked like flying to you was probably achieved through nearly invisible wires, I think. You can even see him disappear and reappear during the moment he caught Lum's horns, if those are even real in the first place. He probably did something to mess with the cameras during your broadcast on ZTV.
Hm, interesting. There did seem to be some interference in our initial broadcast of the event, I think.
Again, it's understandable that you didn't notice. Only the most talented martial artists, like myself, could catch onto such a thinly veiled trick. Mr. Satan nodded his head enthusiastically. He then pointed directly at the camera and smirked. So, while Goku did win the 23rd World Martial Arts Tournament, he has a lot to be desired in terms of raw skill! I could have taken out that alien girl without any of those special effects he used. You've heard it here first from the future champ himself! Haha!
Jimmy Firecracker raised an eyebrow at the martial artist. You do know this is going on camera, right?
Seeing that Mr. Satan was too caught up with his own ego to notice, Jimmy Firecracker cleared his throat. Well, that's that, everyone. Do you think Goku faked his ability to fly as Mr. Satan claimed? Or was Mr. Invader and Lum's whole threat to take over the word just one big elaborate ruse? Find out next time ZTV when we'll most likely be covering the wedding of the millennium between Lum and—"
A remote was suddenly thrown straight through the TV, causing its screen to shatter into various pieces.
"Oh, come on! That's the fifth one this week, Chi-Chi! Learn some self-control for Kami's sake!" Oolong cried angrily.
Chi-Chi stood up from the couch and balled her fists. "S-Self-control?! The only self-control I'll need is suppressing the urge to punch that alien cow in the face when she comes back here!"
"Settle down, Chi-Chi. Isn't that a bit harsh?" Goku questioned. "She wasn't all that bad."
"Hmph! Easy for you to say. She was practically all over you after your so-called "proposal" to her. I bet a part of you enjoyed it…" Chi-Chi grumbled resentfully. She crossed her arms and tried to look away from Goku.
"Now, that's just unfair, Chi-Chi. Goku's never been that type of person. He thought a bride was something to eat, remember?" Bulma came to Goku's defense. Chi-Chi begrudgingly nodded, looking somewhat guilty for what she said.
"To be fair, the boy wasn't exactly wrong…" Master Roshi muttered under his breath.
Hearing this dirty comment, Bulma slid over and proceeded to roughly smack him upside the head.
"Get your head out of the gutter, you old perv!" She growled. She then pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. "Look, Chi-Chi. This whole situation was clearly a misunderstanding, so what are you so upset about? Unlike with Lum, Goku's proposal to you was actually official."
"Of course I know that, Bulma. But when all of these stupid news stations keep going, "Lum this" and "Lum that", what else am I supposed to feel?! They're reporting on Goku's "marriage" to Lum like it's the greatest thing since sliced bread and I just can't take it anymore!" Chi-Chi growled in irritation. She then looked out the window with a somber expression on her face. "All I wanted to do was be happy with my Goku. And now, I can't even do that much."
Goku frowned. Although he was used to Chi-Chi getting angry, he never really liked seeing her get this sad. He got up from his seat and rested a hand on Chi-Chi's shoulder.
"I'm sorry about all of this, Chi-Chi. I just talked to Lum about playing another game of tag and my mouth went on autopilot for some reason. I shouldn't have even mentioned marriage to her." Goku whispered in minor guilt. Chi-Chi turned around and grabbed Goku's hand.
"It's okay, sweetie. I know it wasn't your fault." Chi-Chi gently kissed his hand. "I just wish there was a way we could fix all of this."
Everyone sat in silence trying to think of a way to stop Goku from marrying Lum. After all, the Oni princess did, in fact, promise to return and she could do so at any moment.
After some time passed, Yamcha snapped his fingers in realization. "I've got it! How 'bout you guys have the wedding right now?"
The others, including Puar, looked at the desert bandit skeptically.
"Right now? Would we even have enough time for that?" Goku wondered curiously.
"Well, we did manage to save my mother's wedding dress from Fire Mountain using the Bansho Fan a few days ago, so yeah, we actually could!" Chi-Chi beamed with delight. She then ran over to Yamcha and hugged him tightly. "You're a lifesaver, Yamcha! Thank you, thank you!"
"Hehe. Not a problem." Yamcha nervously laughed with a light flush on his cheeks. Bulma gave him the stink eye for this action, which greatly confused him.
"What?"
Chi-Chi kept smiling from ear to ear. Goku watched her speedily move around the room, not sure if he should feel happy or concerned about her swift change in mood.
"Oh, this is so exciting! That damn Oni bimbo won't know what hit her! Hahaha!" She evilly snickered in delight. Launch, Master Roshi, Oolong, and Krillin were disturbed by this behavior.
"I think she's finally lost it, guys…" Krillin whispered.
"She didn't lose it before?" Oolong whispered back.
"Would you mind if we held the wedding at Capsule Corp, Bulma? So we can have everyone we know in attendance?" Chi-Chi politely requested in a sweet tone.
"Uh…sure, Chi-Chi. If that's what you guys want." Bulma said. She then mischievously at her closest friend. "I'll even pick out a suit for Goku if he doesn't have one."
Goku sighed. "Aw, man! A suit? But those are so uncomfortable and itchy. Can't I just wear my gi?"
"No, you cannot! This is our wedding and I want it to be absolutely perfect! I'll be damned if you dress like some dirty hobo there!" Chi-Chi yelled in outrage.
"Yeesh, don't be considerate of the old man's feelings or anything…" Master Roshi muttered in offense. He put a lot of hard work into designing those dogis.
"Now, let's get a move on, Goku. We have to grab my dad, Baba, and my mother's dress." Chi-Chi said. She clutched Goku's hand and practically dragged him to the front door.
"Okay then, but you don't need to be in such a hurry." Goku mumbled. He was dragging his feet across the ground like a little kid.
"I kind of do if I don't want a certain electricity spewing imp to barge in unannounced!"
"An electricity spewing imp? Is it strong?"
Chi-Chi sighed in response to Goku's ever-present obliviousness. "Just call Nimbus, so we can go!"
Goku, now standing outside of Kame House, lightly wretched his hand away from Chi-Chi's and nodded.
"Flying Nimbus!" He called. Once the golden cloud appeared, the two jumped onboard and flew away.
"See all of you guys at Capsule Corp then!" Goku shouted in the distance.
The others collectively prepared to leave Kame House as well. It seemed that they all had a wedding to attend and prepare for.
"You don't think Lum is actually coming back, right?" Krillin asked in curiosity.
Bulma rested a hand over her chin, thinking. "It's hard to say. She did seem pretty affectionate with Goku. I think I heard her calling him 'Darling' or something back in Central City."
"Darling? Yikes. Looks like Chi-Chi has some steep competition then." Yamcha said.
"Maybe. I guess we'll just have to see what happens." Bulma ultimately shrugged. She then departed from Kame House with everyone else in toe.
Meanwhile in Tomobiki High School
Tomobiki High School was a two-story building located within the aptly named town, Tomobiki-cho. It was white with a red roof and a clocktower that resided in the center. An open gate was also present near the entrance, and would likely remain shut during the school's closing hours. Additionally, green moss seeped from the bottom of the school's wall to its top, showing signs of age and slight degradation overtime. A similarly aging wooden sign that listed the school's name in kanji was posted near the entrance as well.
Inside the school's attic, four boys were watching footage from Goku and Lum's tag game through an old-school projector. Each of them looked upon Lum's appearance in sheer awe and lust as the event was shown from beginning to end.
"She's so immaculate! How can one girl hold such beauty?!" Perm, a tall and skinny teen, stammered in disbelief. He, as his name suggested, had short brown hair that was styled into that of a perm.
Once the footage ended, a lightbulb in the room turned on. The supposed leader of the group, Megane, then clenched his fists determinedly. He was a seventeen-year-old teen with glasses and short, slightly spiked brown hair. "Calm yourself, comrade! We all know how incredible Lum is. That's why we must find more data about her at all costs!"
"It's a shame she fell in love with that Goku guy. She hasn't been back to Earth since she lost to him." A large, heavy teen, Kakugari, grumbled. His brown hair was styled into that of a buzzcut.
"Yes, unfortunately. That's why that dense idiot is now our enemy; for anyone who cannot see how amazing Lum is simply does not deserve her affection!" Megane shouted passionately. "So, as Lum's Stormtroopers, we must force Goku to bring Lum back to Earth right away! We cannot endure our longing for Lum any longer!"
"Right on! No objections!" The other three cried in agreement.
"T-Though, what would we even do against him, guys? He looked pretty freakin' strong to me…" Chibi, a scrawny, timid boy, with light brown hair, stated in nervousness.
Megane laughed without much concern. "Ha! Don't be so naïve, Chibi! Haven't you seen the news? Mr. Satan already exposed that spiky-haired moron for the fraud that he truly is! He must have tricked poor Lum into throwing the match and thus, cannot be forgiven!"
"You actually believe that crap? I doubt you can fake running extremely fast, dude. We even saw him tag Lum firsthand." Perm snorted.
"Camera tricks, my friend. Camera tricks! Mr. Satan obviously has enough genius and fighting expertise to notice that, unlike you."
"Whatever. You're only saying that cause you're a big Mr. Satan fanboy." Kakugari chimed in.
"Oh, bite me! He actually has a huge chance to win the next tournament! You'll see!" Megane spat angrily. He then took a breath and calmed himself down. "Anyway, I hereby establish "The Committee to Bring Lum Back to Earth". Our first mission will be to confront Goku and use him as bait for Lum's return. Any questions?"
"Should we get Moroboshi involved in this?" Perm asked, referring to their friend and infamous pervert, Ataru Moroboshi.
"Hell no! That flirtatious scum will taint Lum's divine purity any chance he gets! Let him soak in his own depravity for a change." Megane groaned in disgust. They may have been friends, but Ataru was far too lecherous for his own good.
"Do we even know where Goku is?" Kakugari asked.
"Hmm, good question. He does seem to be friends with Capsule Corp's heiress, Bulma Brief, so maybe we should try there. Their building is in West City, I believe." Megane suggested. West City was somewhat close to Tomobiki-cho, so getting there wouldn't take too long for them.
"Not gonna lie, that Bulma lady is a total babe too. Hehe." Chibi creepily chuckled. Before he could think of Bulma in dirty, sexual situations, Megane conked him on the head.
"Enough of that! Save your suggestive thoughts for Lum and Lum alone!" He chastised his fellow Stormtrooper.
"Right. Sorry…"
"Alright then, comrades! Let's bring our goddess back as soon as possible!" Megane let out an intense battle cry.
"Yeah! For Lum!" The other three shouted back in unison.
All four of Lum's Stormtroopers then ran out of the attic. However, once they got outside of the school, they came to a sudden realization.
"Uh…so how are we supposed to get there?" Perm wondered curiously. Megane then took a look at some of the nearby cars parked in front of Tomobiki High School and smirked deviously.
"I'm sure I'll think of something."
West City, Capsule Corporation Building
After a few hours of preparation, Goku and Chi-Chi's wedding had officially begun. Most of that time was spent trying to get Goku fitted into a suit, but through a little trial and error, they just barely succeeded in doing so. It was a fairly small service held within Capsule Corporation's backyard. Most of the people in attendance were either Goku's closest friends, people he encountered on his past adventures around the world, or Capsule Corp employees native to West City.
The martial artist in question was wearing a white tuxedo with matching pants and shoes. Chi-Chi initially attempted to slick his hair back with some gel, but no matter how hard she tried, its signature spikes would simply not stay down for long. Goku, in a way, felt grateful for that, because he was already uncomfortable enough as is. He had to keep stretching out his collar in order to stop himself from sweating to death.
"Man, I hope this doesn't go on for too long. I'm dying here!" Goku panted. Krillin, Goku's best man, lightly jabbed him in the stomach. He, alongside Tien, Yamcha, Chiaotzu, Yajirobe, and even Oolong, were standing in a line to Goku's left.
"Show a little class, man. This is your wedding day! You should be excited!" Krillin scolded his friend.
Goku squirmed in place. "I guess so. I just don't know why these outfits need to be so stiff. I can barely move in this thing!"
Yajirobe looked up at Goku, grimacing. He was munching on a plate of food while standing.
"Oh, grow up, Goku. It's not like you're the only one who needs to wear these stupid monkey suits."
Tien deadpanned at the fat samurai with all three of his eyes. "Is this really a good time for you to be eating right now?"
"Mind your own business, triclops! I'm nervous around big crowds like this." Yajirobe snapped as he shoveled more food into his mouth.
Across from them, Chi-Chi's bridesmaids, Bulma, Launch, and, surprisingly enough, Fortuneteller Baba, were standing side by side. Baba was still wearing her usual witch outfit, thankfully.
"You? Nervous? Feh! Just set the food down, fatso! Even Goku has more restraint than you and he's a bottomless pit!" Launch scoffed in disgust.
Goku sheepishly scratched the back of his head, smiling. "Guilty as charged. Hehe."
"Alright, alright! I'll wait til' the dumb wedding's over!" Yajirobe groaned as he sat the plate behind him. He then crossed his arms and grumbled to himself. "Figures that her crazy bitch side had to be here right now…"
"What did you just say, you fat bastard?!" Launch yelled angrily. She was about to bring out an Uzi until Bulma stopped her at the last second.
"Shh! Shut up, guys! She's coming!" She hissed. It was obvious why Chi-Chi chose her to be the maid of honor, even if they technically didn't know each other all that well.
Everyone froze to watch Chi-Chi walk down the aisle. On one side of her, the inhabitants of Fire Mountain were seated in multiple white benches. They looked proud to see their young princess wearing her mother's old dress in all its glorious splendor. Some of them were even starting to tear up.
On the other side, Master Roshi, Dr. Brief, Panchy, and the many people Goku befriended as a kid were present. This included the father-son Karinga Tribe duo, Bora and Upa; Suno, her family, Android 8, Dr. Flappe, and other visitors from Jingle Village; Nam, Korin, Goku's fox friend, Konkichi, and countless more. It took a while for Bulma to contact them, but in the end, they all came to celebrate a new stage in Goku's life alongside him.
Chi-Chi, wearing a long, flowing white dress, was personally escorted by her dad. She held a bundle of white flowers in her hands while Ox-King struggled to not bawl his eyes out. He wore a specially fitted black suit with brown shoes.
"Calm down, daddy. We haven't even gotten to the altar yet…" Chi-Chi whispered.
"I-I know. You just look so beautiful, dear. I can't help but think of how proud your mother would be right now." Ox-King sniffled emotionally.
Chi-Chi smiled in a melancholic fashion. "I hope so. Her dress is absolutely perfect! I couldn't imagine this day without it."
Happy to hear this, Ox-King desperately wiped his eyes to stop the tears from falling. Chi-Chi, in contrast, glared up at the sky.
"That obnoxious homewrecker better not ruin this. There's only so much abuse I can take." She thought. Narrowing her eyes, Chi-Chi then looked up to see Goku in his new tuxedo. She blushed at how handsome he looked.
Goku gulped down a building lump in his throat as Chi-Chi stood directly in front of him. She looked completely unrecognizable to him. All he could do was stand frozen in place as Ox-King parted from her and jointed his other groomsmen.
"Well? Aren't you going to remove my veil?" Chi-Chi playfully asked.
"Oh…uh...right." Goku nodded nervously. After taking off her veil, he saw that Chi-Chi's raven hair was covered with a wreath of white flowers. Green leaves were placed behind each of her ears, which complimented Chi-Chi's red lipstick and blue earrings.
Goku, although not used to displays of affection, still couldn't help, but grin in response to Chi-Chi's appearance.
"Like what you see?" Chi-Chi inquired sweetly.
"Yeah. I'm not all that good with words, but you really do look beautiful, Chi-Chi. I mean that." Goku whispered. In that moment, the princess of Fire Mountain looked the happiest she's ever been.
In the crowd, Bulma's mom, Panchy, broke out into tears of joy. She had short blonde hair, red lipstick, and blue eyes that were typically closed more often than not.
"Isn't this beautiful, dear? Our sweet little Goku's finally becoming a man!" She hiccupped. She grabbed multiple tissues and blew her nose with them.
"Yes, yes. It truly is a sight to behold." Dr. Brief nodded in agreement. He was an old man with light blue hair and a bushy moustache of the same color. On the right shoulder of his lab coat, a little black cat resided.
"Meow!" Scratch mewed.
Master Roshi, now wearing a black suit and fedora, shook his head. "Sheesh. You're acting as if the boy's your own son or something. Lighten up!"
He audibly snorted before taking a good, long look at Goku himself. The old Turtle Hermit fatherly smiled at him.
"Good for you, my boy. I hope your prior incident with Lum doesn't get in the way of this …Though, admittedly, seeing that smoking hot body again wouldn't be all that bad in hindsight. Ehehehe!"
As if she had a sixth sense for detecting Roshi's perverted fantasies, Bulma glared directly at him. The martial arts instructor squirmed in his seat and looked away.
"That's what I thought…" Bulma muttered. While preparing to look back at Chi-Chi, she noticed that a short, ugly old man suddenly appeared out of nowhere.
"Wait a minute, who are you supposed to be?" She asked. Everyone else looked at the strange elder in curiosity.
"Cherry. I'm a certified priest here to officiate this wedding." He responded with a look of indifference on his face.
"But…but I didn't even hire you. Goku and Chi-Chi aren't even religious either." Bulma pointed out.
"That may be true, Ms. Bulma. However, do you have anyone else who can officiate this lovely ceremony? Anyone at all?" Cherry calmly inquired.
"Well…no…but…"
The priest held up his hands in a sign of prayer. "Then it is fate. I'll be sure to execute it to the best of my ability."
"But…you…er…ugh! Fine! Let's just get these two hitched already." Bulma glowered. Even with Master Roshi around, this guy was starting to give her the creeps.
"Ahem…friends, family, people of West City…and that incredibly ugly man still trying to eat before the afterparty…"
"Hey!" Yajirobe barked.
"We have gathered here today to witness the marriage of Ms. Milk—"
"It's…It's Chi-Chi, sir."
"That's what I said. And the current protector of this world, Sun Wukong."
"Son Goku, actually."
"Again, same thing. These two have both agreed to share their love for another to the entire planet and beyond. And there can be nothing more powerful than such a close, tightly woven bond as this, I'm sure."
Goku took this description far too literally. "Well, I don't know if there's anything as powerful as Piccolo and—"
Chi-Chi roughly stomped on his foot in annoyance.
"Yow!" Goku yelped. "Hey, that hurt! What was that for?"
"Stop rambling on about some silly nonsense and let him talk, Goku!" Chi-Chi hissed. Goku hurriedly stood up straight in understanding.
"Erhem, anyway, do you, Goku, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?" Cherry asked. Something about his blank stare unnerved Goku to a certain degree, but he ultimately ignored it. It was as if the old man was anticipating some type of unforeseen event.
"Y-Yep. I do."
"And do you, Chi-Chi, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" He asked in the same tone.
"I do." Chi-Chi replied without question.
Cherry leaned closer to the couple and whispered, "I assume that neither of you had the time to write wedding vows for one another, correct?"
Goku quirked a brow. "Vows? We were supposed to write stuff for this?"
Everyone in attendance began to laugh, wrongfully assuming that Goku was joking in some way. His friends, on the other hand, knew better and facepalmed as a result.
"That's a no, I'm afraid." Chi-Chi sighed in disappointment.
"Eh, I suppose we can skip the formalities for once." Cherry shrugged with little care. "Then, by the powers vested in me by the great Buddha himself, I now pronounce you husband and—"
Before the priest could finish his sentence, a stray vehicle emerged from the sky. It was going so fast that its four drivers suddenly lost control of it in midair.
"LOOK OUT! LOOK OUT!" They screamed. Wedding guests leapt away from their seats as the car smashed into the ground in a fiery explosion. Fortunately, it was quite a bit of distance from where Goku and Chi-Chi were standing.
"What in the hell just happened?" Tien gasped in shock.
Before everyone's eyes, four teens slowly crawled out of the car's wreckage. They were all covered from head to toe in scorch-marks and small bruises.
"H-Hold…Hold it right there, Son Goku!" Megane coughed up a lung before pointed directly at Goku. "The four of us have a bone to pick with you!"
Goku gestured to himself in surprise. "Me? But who even are you guys?"
"Sound off, comrades!" The bespectacled Tomobiki High School student yelled. His three companions then got into some bizarre, Charlie's Angels style formation.
"Perm!"
"Chibi!"
"Kakugari!"
And Megane! Together we are the indomitable protectors of purity and innocence, Lum's Stormtroopers!" He announced with the utmost confidence. They all struck individual poses that somehow managed to cause the car to spontaneously combust even more.
"GWAAAH!" They yelped. The Stormtroopers painfully smacked into the ground near Chi-Chi's feet, much to her clear revulsion.
"Ow…" Perm moaned in pain.
Chi-Chi's eye began to twitch. Even when Lum wasn't even there, she was still getting in the way of her and Goku's happy relationship somehow.
"No…This…this can't be real." She shook her head in denial and newfound panic. Cherry snuck into view and closed his eyes.
"On the contrary. 'Tis fate." He repeated.
This statement, on top of everything that just happened, broke Krillin. "Pfft! BAHAHAHAHA!"
"Stop it, Krillin! This isn't funny!" Chi-Chi whined.
"Hehe. Oh, come on, Chi-Chi! How is this not funny? I knew these guys were weirdos when I first saw them at the tag game, but this really takes the cake!" Krillin continued to chuckle. Yamcha wholeheartedly agreed and laughed along with him.
"Laugh all of you want, cueball! But you won't be laughing once we capture Goku and use him to draw our beloved Lum back to Earth!"
"You dorks want to capture Goku? Yeah, right! Like that's ever gonna happen." Yamcha snorted in amusement. The four of them combined still wouldn't be enough to match Goku in terms of strength.
"He's right. I don't think that's going to work, you guys. I'm not even sure where Lum is myself." Goku admitted.
Megane bared his teeth in outrage. "It doesn't matter! We know Lum will come back once she sees that her so-called Darling is in danger!"
"You nerds have some serious issues…" Yajirobe said in disgust.
"The only issue we have here is that Goku idiot! Tie him up, comrades!" Megane ordered. The other three Stormtroopers brought out some rope and quickly wrapped around Goku's arms.
"Hehe. We've got you now, dummy!" Chibi sniggered. They tied the rope into a tight little knot, seemingly trapping Goku in place.
"How's that? Feel vulnerable now?" Megane smugly taunted Goku.
Goku, of course, didn't look fazed by this at all. "Not really. It's just a little tight."
He slightly flexed his biceps and snapped the rope in two. This frightened Lum's Stormtroopers, especially Megane.
"W-What? You tore straight through it?!" He stammered. Maybe Mr. Satan was full of crap this whole time, after all.
"Well, yeah. Stuff like this is nothing compared to the kind of people I've fought. Shouldn't you have known that before? They did mention that I defeated King Piccolo on TV." Goku noted in puzzlement.
Megane felt a bit stupid being called on the spot like this. His three friends glared at him in displeasure.
"Shit! All this time, I thought that Piccolo guy was some elaborate advertisement for a new monster movie that never got released…"
He suddenly adjusted his glasses. "Tsk. Whatever! Just you being here should be enough to attract Lum's attention! You'll see!"
"Quickly, men! Let us begin our hail to the UFOs! This is bound to work!" Megane cried.
"Right!" His friends agreed. They all held hands and slowly spun around in a circle.
"Ventura, ventura, space people! Ventura, ventura, space people!" The four of them chanted in unison. The amount of humiliation they were facing was almost palpable in a way. And yet, despite everyone's negative opinion of them, all they seemed to care about was seeing Lum again.
"Oh great. Now, they're chanting…" Krillin sighed.
Launch cocked her gun. "Want me to shoot them in the kneecaps? That'll take them out of commission for a while."
"No one's shooting anybody, Launch! No matter how…weird…and off-putting these guys seem to be." Bulma shivered distastefully. They really needed to get some girlfriends.
"Ventura, ventura, space people! Ventura, ventura, space people!" Lum's Stormtroopers continued to chant. Above them, a small portal of yellow energy began to materialize, much to their evident delight.
"All right, men! It's working! Just a little more effort!" Megane whooped happily. They began to chant even faster. "Ventura, ventura, space people!"
Having enough of this asinine chant, Chi-Chi's face instantly turned red from sheer anger.
"Errrgh! THAT DOES IT!" She screamed at the top of her lungs. Wedding dress be damned, Chi-Chi sprinted up to Megane and socked him directly across the face.
"Gwah!" The boy cried in pain. Some teeth flew out of his mouth as a result.
"Ooooo…" Perm, Chibi, and Kakugari winced as they broke apart their ritualistic circle.
"Woah. You didn't need to hit him that hard, Chi-Chi." Goku mumbled in slight sympathy.
Ignoring him, Chi-Chi stomped over to Megane and grabbed him by the hem of his shirt. The other Stormtroopers were far too frightened to fight back.
"Now, listen to me loud and clear. You quartet of losers have about five seconds to leave my wedding before I lose what little semblance of sanity and patience that I have left!" Chi-Chi screeched in rage. "I may look sweet and pretty right now, but you have no idea what I'm capable of when I get angry! And you basement dwelling morons are making me very, very, very…angry! Is that understood?"
"Y-Yes…Yes, ma'am! Sorry, ma'am!" Megane choked out apologetically. She then threw him at the other three, causing them to collapse on the ground like bowling pins.
"Good! Now, get out of here before that dumb portal actually works and—"
Unfortunately, it was too late for her. A yellow bolt of lightning bolt shot out of the portal, causing a familiar Oni girl to be revealed from it.
She anxiously looked around the area. "Darling?"
"Lum?" Goku asked. Upon hearing his voice, Lum ran up to Goku and hugged him as tightly as possible.
"Darling!" She squealed. Electricity surged through Goku's body, causing his tuxedo to become completely scorched in a few places.
"W-Well…at least my suit's not so stiff anymore. Hehe." Goku chuckled woozily.
"We did it, men! She's here! AHAHAHA!" Lum's Stormtroopers cheered amongst themselves in happiness. Comical tears were falling from their eyes out of visible relief and contentment.
"Oh, Darling! Did you dress up like this just to greet me? You're such a doll!" Lum chirped. She contentedly rubbed her head against Goku's shoulder. "I really missed you."
"NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Chi-Chi shouted ragefully. "HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU EVEN GET HERE?!"
Lum turned her head away from Goku to look at Chi-Chi. "Oh, it's you…If you must know, I was filling out an Alien Registration Permit, so that I could officially stay on Earth with Darling."
"Oh! So, that's what it was." Goku realized.
"Yep! Isn't that great, Darling? Now, I can live with you for as long as I want!" Lum lovingly chirped. She pressed her body up against Goku's in a tighter embrace.
"And what makes you think I'd even allow that to happen?" Chi-Chi grunted.
"Hmph! As if it's any of your business. Goku and I are married now, so he needs his new wife living beside him!" Lum retorted with a proud, red lipped smirk.
"Well, seeing as how you just barged in on our wedding unannounced, it is, in fact, my business!" Chi-Chi gestured to her wedding dress in annoyance.
Lum's eyes widened. She looked around and saw a bunch of people in suits or dresses staring at her.
"Wedding?!" She stuttered. She glanced over at Goku in sadness. "Darling…is this true?"
Goku didn't really know what to say. He didn't want to make Lum sad, but at the same time, hiding the truth wouldn't do her much better.
"Yeah, it is, Lum. Chi-Chi tried to tell you this a week ago, but I kind of…promised to marry her when we were kids. Granted, I thought bride was some type of food back then, but I did agree to keep my promise at the 23rd World Martial Arts Tournament." Goku explained as clearly as he could. "When I mentioned marriage after our match ended, I was talking about my wedding with Chi-Chi. I didn't actually propose to you. It was a misunderstanding."
Lum looked crushed. She didn't want to believe it, but after remembering Goku's exact words, none of what he said was a direct proposal in any way. She really did misinterpret what he said.
"But…but…Darling…I…" Lum sniffed. Tears began to fall from her eyes. "I came all this way to see you! I missed you so much and this is what you tell me?! Wah!"
Lum's Stormtroopers sprang into action and circled around Goku, looking furious.
"Bastard! You made Lum cry!" Megane snarled.
"He doesn't deserve to live! Kill him!" Perm shouted. The kids all punched and kicked Goku, but none of their attacks did anything. Goku just stood there and focused all his attention on the saddened Lum.
While this took place, Cherry walked up to Lum with his usual poker face.
"Actually, Miss Lum. There's a small loophole to this particular situation, if you're willing to hear it." He revealed.
Lum wiped away some of her tears. "A-A loophole?"
"While Goku did indeed promise to have Chi-Chi as a bride in his youth, that doesn't exactly make it a genuine proposal of marriage. He only agreed to do it in order to please Chi-Chi and make her happy." Cherry described the shaky circumstances behind Goku's first proposal. "Here on Earth, we also have a custom where couples exchange wedding rings with one another to signify their love. And in this wedding, there were no such rings. Meaning, Goku and Chi-Chi are not officially married by any means."
"Hm, I see. Then, Darling went through a similar misunderstanding before…" Lum recalled.
"That's right. And since your proposal was broadcast to the entirety of Earth's global population, that technically makes your marriage more official…from a certain point of view, at least." Cherry assumed in semi-uncertainty. "This Alien Registration Permit you filled out to live here is also proof enough of that fact too."
"So…that…that means…" Lum murmured. Her sadness was replaced with that of relief as she glomped Goku once more.
"I have a chance to be Darling's wife, after all! Hooray!" She cheered. Goku was shocked to an even greater degree, causing Lum's Stormtroopers to fly off of him in varying directions.
"GWAAAH!" They screamed.
"G-Getting shocked by Lum is both a blessing and a curse!" Megane weakly coughed.
"Y-You little goblin! Whose side are you on here?!" Chi-Chi scowled.
"Like I said, I'm a certified priest. I'm just peeling back the layers of fate as they come to pass. I don't choose any sides." Cherry calmly replied. "That is fate and how fate shall be, Miss."
"If you say that one more time, I'm going to peel back the layers of your—"
Ox-King came up and attempted to hold his daughter back.
"That's enough, Chi-Chi. You'll ruin your mother's dress at this rate." He sternly proclaimed.
This time, Chi-Chi started to tear up. "B-But daddy! They destroyed my wedding day! How can I forgive these monsters for something like that?! It's unthinkable!"
Ox-King pulled her into a tight embrace. "I know, I know. There's simply nothing we can do about it now, though."
Goku then stood in between both Lum and Chi-Chi. "Look, guys. I think Cherry made a good point here. None of our marriages were really…well…real, so I think maybe we should…er…what's the word I'm looking for…"
"Slow things down a bit?" Bulma suggested from the sidelines.
"Yeah! Thanks, Bulma!" Goku nodded in gratitude. "I do care about you, Chi-Chi, but I don't know if marriage should be coming up so soon, even if it was a promise I made before. I really don't know much about you, now that I think about it. Same with you, Lum."
Chi-Chi, although an emotional wreck, tried following along with Goku's reasoning. "I-I…suppose you're right. We did only meet a few times as kids before the tournament."
"And that's why we should stay as, you know, friends for the time being. Just so I can get to know both of you more in between training sessions and such."
"Alright, Darling. If that's what you want, then I can't say I refuse." Lum begrudgingly accepted Goku's terms. She then bared her fangs. "However, I still want to live with you in some way. I won't take no for an answer!"
"Grgh! You have some nerve…" Chi-Chi growled under her breath.
Goku stroked his chin in thought. "Hm. I guess that's fine, but…hm…where would you even be able to stay?"
It was then that the Stormtroopers all got up and gathered around Lum. They were practically playing tug-of-war with her entire body.
"You can stay with me, Lum! My house is always open for you!" Perm offered.
"No, stay with me!" Kakugari said.
"No, me!" Chibi said.
"Don't be selfish! I'm the leader, so I call dibs!" Megane shouted loudly. Getting too close to Lum's personal space, she suddenly let out an electric shockwave.
"GET AWAY FROM ME!" She shrieked. Lum then scurried over to Goku and hid behind him for protection. Her Stormtroopers, meanwhile, ultimately fell unconscious from a mix of pain and pleasure.
Goku, still deep in thought, looked at Lum and suddenly came up with a new idea.
"Wait, I've got it! Would Lum be able stay at Capsule Corp, Bulma?" Goku asked.
Bulma raised an eyebrow. "That's a bit sudden, isn't it? We still have to clean up this whole wedding, you know?"
"I mean after that. You and your parents are rich, so there's plenty of stuff for Lum to do there. She can fly around and everything."
"We may be rich, but that doesn't mean our finances are bottomless or anything. Housing an alien girl would be a lot of work, Goku." Bulma pointed out in a serious tone.
"I don't see a problem with it. Your mother and I have already dealt with two teenage girls, so one more shouldn't be that much of a hassle." Dr. Brief said.
"Plus, Lum is just so cute! I'm sure things would get a whole lot more interesting with her around!" Panchy giggled.
Lum smiled. "Aw, thank you…erm…"
"Call me Panchy, dear. My pleasure!"
"Right! Thank you, Panchy!" Lum smiled a bit wider out of gratitude.
Bulma rolled her eyes, sighing. "I still think you guys are a little bit too on board with this, but alright. Lum can stay at Capsule Corp temporarily. Though, we'll have to clean up everything here first."
"That's alright, Bulma. I can stay in my UFO for tonight. I don't mind."
"UFO?" Goku asked confusedly.
"It's the ship I used to fly here, Darling. I parked it near your planet's upper atmosphere." Lum explained.
"Good to know then." Bulma nodded. She walked over to Chi-Chi and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Are you going to be okay, Chi-Chi?"
Chi-Chi looked down at her wedding dress and slumped her shoulders. "Yeah, I'll be fine. I just need to think over some things at Fire Mountain…"
"Okay. I'm always here if you need to talk with someone." Bulma said sympathetically.
Launch expressed similar sentiments. "That goes for me too."
"Thanks, girls. I appreciate it." Chi-Chi muttered. She then shared direct eye contact with Goku. "I hope this will give us some more opportunities to spend time with each other, Goku. Maybe we'll even be able to go on adventures like you did with Bulma and the others. That's something I always wanted to do with you."
"Sounds fun! I'd really like that, Chi-Chi." Goku smiled excitedly. Chi-Chi's eyelids then drooped ever-so-slightly.
"But remember, Goku. I do love you. I just hope that overtime, you'll grow to love me just as much, if not more than now." She claimed from the bottom of her heart. "Then who knows? Maybe we'll have another, even better wedding than this one someday…without any distractions."
She glared directly at Lum and the Stormtroopers with that last statement. Lum noticed this, but Goku, for the most part, didn't.
"We'll see how things play out, Chi-Chi…" Goku guiltily whispered. Chi-Chi then shared a ghost of a smile and kissed Goku on the cheek one last time.
Slowly rubbing the spot where her red lipstick was left, Goku watched her walk off with Ox-King and the other inhabitants of Fire Mountain in toe.
"Well, that's that then. See you later, everyone." Chi-Chi waved at her friends. However, she stopped right next to Lum before officially leaving. "Oh and Lum…"
She narrowed her eyes and got really close to the Oni princess's right ear.
"Don't think for a second that I've given up on Goku. I intend to be his wife no matter what. Remember that." Chi-Chi hissed challengingly.
Lum narrowed her blue eyes the same way, smirking. "Funny. I was about to say the same thing, Chi-Chi. Darling will be mine someday and when that time comes, there's nothing you'll be able to do about it."
"Challenge accepted then, Oni girl. You better watch yourself." Chi-Chi grinned deviously.
Sparks of electricity flew between both of the princesses' respective glares. It ended once Chi-Chi finally left the area in her mother's wedding dress.
"Now, that wasn't totally awkward or anything…" Oolong sarcastically grimaced. Krillin sighed and bonked him on the head.
"Don't be so insensitive. This is hard on Goku too." He chastised the humanoid pig.
"I was just trying to lighten the mood!"
Feeling conflicted over Chi-Chi's response, Goku scratched the back of his head and exhaled. He wasn't used to experiencing these kinds of emotions.
"What now, Darling?" Lum asked.
"I guess I can show you around Capsule Corp. I haven't been there in a while, so it might be surprising for me too." Goku said.
"Sounds like fun!" The alien girl beamed. Before they could walk off, Goku looked toward Dr. Brief, Panchy, and Bulma for permission.
"Is that okay with you, guys?"
"Go right ahead, Goku. We'll finish up everything over here. Make sure Lum feels right at home on Earth." Dr. Brief shooed them away. Bulma was about to object to her father's decision, but the two already walked away.
"Will do! Let's go, Lum."
"Coming!" Lum hummed. As Goku walked to the Capsule Corporation building's back entrance, Lum floated beside him in midair.
"You could have at least had Goku help out a little bit with the cleanup! Look at all this food we have left!" Bulma cried out in dismay. Thankfully, some of the wedding's former attendants were taking some bites out of the catering company's meals.
"That's why they're called leftovers, dear. I'm sure Goku will finish eating them up at a later date; maybe even tomorrow." Dr. Brief assumed.
"Yeah, fair enough. I just feel bad for all the guests who came here for nothing." Bulma whispered. "Speaking of which, what should we do with Lum's little stalker fan club?"
Cherry walked in front of Lum's Stormtroopers and grabbed ahold of their shirts. "I shall take them back to my hometown, Tomobiki-cho. They all attend the high school there, so it shouldn't take too long."
"Erm…thanks…but no thanks. You're the one who messed up this entire wedding in the first place. I bet you knew it was going to go wrong from the beginning, didn't you?" Bulma angrily accused.
"Perhaps. I'm simply drawn to the forces of bad luck in this world, and this wedding was brimming with it. Tis fate at play as always." Cherry stated matter-of-factly. He then rudely held out his hand in front of Bulma. "By the way, I'll be needing some money for my services officiating this wedding. Mainly for cab fare and all that."
Bulma, shaking with anger, glared down at Cherry and literally kicked him all the way back to Tomobiki-cho.
"DROP DEAD!" Bulma growled. Cherry, alongside Lum's Stormtroopers, was flown through the air until they could no longer be seen to the naked eye.
"Phew! I thought they'd never leave." Bulma sighed in relief. "With that out of the way, let's clean all of this up pronto!"
Discussions were held between attendants of the wedding as Bulma and the Z-Fighters prepared to close it down. Some of the food was still getting eaten, but without Goku, there wouldn't be enough of an appetite to consume all of it. Even so, benches, chairs, and tables could still be put away without much effort.
Now, since Goku wasn't planning to marry Chi-Chi anytime soon, the direction of his life has completely changed. He must either choose between Lum, the hyperactive princess of Planet Oni, or Chi-Chi, the loving, yet short-tempered princess of Fire Mountain. Only fate, as Cherry so aptly claimed, would be able to determine the exact choice Goku will end up going with in the future.
However, none of these thoughts were going through his head at the moment. All Goku wanted to do was learn more about Lum and how she was a person. Master Roshi, on the other hand, was thinking of her for much different reasons.
"I wonder if I could get her to live at Kame House somehow…" Roshi pondered to himself. Launch, overhearing this, shot multiple rounds of bullets near his feet.
"Get a move on, grandpa! We don't got all day!" She snapped.
Roshi broke out into a nervous sweat. "Quit it with the damn Uzi, Launch. You're gonna kill someone one of these days!"
"I will if you don't get your ass up and help out!" Launch threatened.
With that last comment, Master Roshi hurriedly joined the other Z-Fighters in closing off Goku and Chi-Chi's former wedding. For now, its current fate and existence was completely up in the air. All because of one single girl who had green hair and yellow horns that could shoot out electricity.
*Well, that's Chapter 2, everyone. A lot happened in this chapter, so I hope you like how it turned out. On the Urusei Yatsura side of things, I managed to incorporate Lum's Stormtroopers, reference the main character, Ataru Moroboshi, and give some more lines of dialogue to Cherry. For Dragon Ball, I included some cameos from the original Dragon Ball and a surprise appearance by Mr. Satan (it was brief, but I enjoyed writing that scene, nonetheless). As you can probably tell, Chi-Chi, while still having a dangerously short temper, will be portrayed in a sympathetic light sometimes. She obviously just lost her opportunity to marry Goku, so she's going to be bummed out for some time. I decided to make it so Goku calls off their engagement temporarily, so there will be more of an active rivalry between Lum and Chi-Chi in terms of gaining Goku's attention. Plus, it gives me a chance to develop some actual moments of romance between them, rather than having Goku instantly marry her in about a day/a few days.
I also decided to have Lum live with Goku at Capsule Corp for the time being. Tomobiki-cho will still be a part of the story, but they won't live in it for some time. They'll still visit it occasionally for certain chapters, especially once more aliens from the Urusei Yatsura anime start to appear. I'll have to see what happens.
Anyways, please leave a favorite, follow, and/or review to let me know what you think of this story so far. I'm open to receiving any sort of criticism you give me. I'll see you later once Chapter 3 is posted. See ya!