To Buck's intense happiness, movie time extends to a dinner invitation, but Natalie looks doubtful when he offers to cook. Considering he'd have starved to death back in the day without takeout, microwave meals, and generous friends who could cook, he supposes it's understandable that she's wary. Bree, on the other hand, grins happily and asks if she can help.
"Still vegan?" he asks, already running the few recipes he knows that are at least vegetarian through his head. Living with Natalie had been his first introduction to really healthy eating, although he'd lapsed away from his casual vegetarianism as soon as he left Virginia.
"Yeah, but Bree's diet is a bit more flexible."
"Mommy says I'm a chicken nugget vegetarian."
Buck laughs, going to open the door of the fridge. There is a nice selection of veggies inside, as well as sweet potatoes on the counter in a pretty basket. "What makes a chicken nugget vegetarian?"
"She eats vegetarian at home, and I pack her a vegetarian lunch for school. But if she's eating out with a friend's family or there's a party at school, she can eat what she likes."
"Sounds like a good way of describing it then." Spotting the package of flour tortillas in the fridge gives him an idea. "Do you like tacos?"
"I love tacos and burritos and nachos, all three. But I don't like the mushed beans."
"No refried beans for Miss Bree, gotcha. Want to help me carry the food over to the counter?"
Bree complies happily, and once Buck sets aside his own selections, he turns the knob to preheat the oven before pulling up the recipe on his phone to double check measurements. Natalie brings a small step stool over for Bree to hop onto before correctly surmising he'll need a cutting board and putting two on the counter.
"Anything I can do to help?" she asks, looking curious rather than doubtful now.
"Line a couple of baking sheets with parchment paper, please. And do you have a blender?"
Natalie unearths a blender from a lower cabinet, plugging it in before going to get the baking sheets. Smiling softly at Buck, she settles at the table, seemingly content to let him spend the time with Bree.
"I can help you cut up the soft vegetables," Bree announces, leaning forward to reach a smaller knife block set next to another one, both made out of glass. "These are my knives. They aren't quite as sharp as Mommy's."
Buck rewards her enthusiasm by giving her the head of cauliflower and watching for a second to see how she handles the knife. While he figures Natalie would step in if Bree's stretching the truth, it wouldn't make a good impression on her if Buck just let Bree go wild with a knife and no supervision at all. Once he's sure she's got it under control, he makes quick work of peeling and chopping a pair of sweet potatoes. Bree avidly declines to chop the onion next, volunteering to take the bell pepper instead, her slices slow and steady as she cuts it into the requested strips.
They scatter the veggies on the baking sheets, drizzling avocado oil over everything. Bree juices a lime with giggling expertise, and Buck reminds himself to compliment Natalie, because Bree will never be reliant on takeout if she's this far along at only six. Once they measure and mix the spices, Buck seasons their veggies before letting Bree toss them by hand to get everything coated, and afterward, they pop the pans into the oven.
"What are we going to do with the nuts?" Bree asks, eying the gallon-sized bag of cashews he'd taken out of the fridge. "Will they go in the tacos?"
"We're going to make sauce for the tacos with those," he says, filling a pot with water and setting it to boil. "The veggies have to roast for at least half an hour, which is the same amount of time the cashews need to boil. Then we'll put them in the blender with a few other things and make our sauce."
They join Natalie at the table while they wait on the oven timer, and Buck spends the time answering a flood of enthusiastic questions from Bree that he is surprised waited this long. Then again, educating him about her favorite Disney movie did take priority, he supposes. The questions continue through putting the final touches on their meal, pausing only long enough for Bree to politely chew her food after a gentle reminder from Natalie, and continuing until Bree is directed down the hall to take a bath before bed.
"She's absolutely amazing, Natalie. Thank you for letting me stay."
It really has been the type of evening Buck thought was beyond his grasp with Eddie unlikely to let him see Christopher again anytime soon. He's almost afraid to blink and have it all snatched away. What does worry him is how tired Natalie looks, so he offers to clean the kitchen while she goes to make sure Bree does more than get wet and call it a bath.
The chore buys him a little more time, long enough that he gets to read Bree a bedtime story. He doesn't have to debate Natalie's caution about just one story, because Bree is sound asleep before he turns to the last page. Unable to resist, he smooths her hair back from her face carefully, feeling completely astounded that he doesn't have to think "what if" when it comes to the surge of paternal love.
He doesn't want to overstay his welcome, so he shuffles toward the door before realizing he and Natalie haven't exchanged contact information yet. When he offers, she laughs sheepishly before they trade phones to type everything in. She stops him from leaving, though, and leads him to the kitchen instead, making them both a cup of tea that tastes like raspberries.
"I had an ulterior motive in tracking you down," Natalie says.
Buck's heart sinks right down to his feet, because of course nothing good happens to him without a catch. He can't imagine what it might be, because contacting him means losing whatever hush money his father paid her, and he doesn't think child support would even that out. Granted, she tracked down a firefighter, not knowing Buck is unemployed now, but at the same time, Natalie doesn't seem to have changed much from the woman he used to know.
"What would that be?" he asks, his voice rough with anxiety.
"I have cancer," Natalie explains with quiet dignity. "I was first diagnosed when Bree was nine months old. Did everything by the book, the doctors were optimistic, and everything seemed fine. But around Christmas last year, I started feeling like crap, but wrote it off to a bout of food poisoning. But it just wouldn't go away. They ran the tests after New Year's and found out I had cancer again."
"Is it treatable?" He feels selfish in light of her news, that he worried for himself when she mentioned an ulterior motive.
"It's stage four now. Treatable, but not curable, not this time." Natalie runs a shaking hand over her close-cropped hair, and Buck realizes now why it's so short. He reaches across the table to take her hand, and she squeezes his with a grateful, tired smile. "It's a matter of trying a treatment until it stops working, then trying the next, and repeating until…"
She doesn't have to finish the sentence. Buck knows it's "until nothing works."
"What do you need me to do?"
He doesn't really deserve the grateful smile she gives him, but there's very little he wouldn't do to help her.
"Be her dad, so I know that when the time comes that she doesn't have me, she has you."
"Of course I'll do that, Natalie. And anything you need, absolutely anything, I want to help with, too. You've raised Bree alone for years. It's time you had someone to share it with."
By the time Buck leaves Natalie's place, he's got a list of things to do the next day, starting off with visiting Natalie's local lawyer to get paternity established for Bree. Letting himself back into the loft, he studies the dark, empty place and sighs. It was easy to forget tonight that he'd be coming home to only his own company, once again.
Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he dials Maddie, figuring he at least should let her know she's an aunt. She'll be disappointed in him, but they're both used to that by now, right?
The call goes to voicemail instantly, letting him know she refused the call. He freezes, staring at the screen in disbelief. What if he were calling from the hospital again? As much as he wants to just ignore it, he texts her instead, telling her he has something urgent to tell her.
Her reply is worse than the straight to voicemail moment: Don't contact me until you apologize for what you did to Chimney. You never should have told your lawyer everything about Doug.
Sinking to the floor with his back to his front door, Buck fights back tears. He hadn't actually told his lawyer what happened to Chimney, just that he'd been severely injured off duty twice and returned to the job within weeks of each injury with no restrictions. The rest, he assumes, Mackey dug out of public records.
Maybe this is his just dessert for not wanting Maddie to feel like she was stuck in the middle of him and Chimney after he filed the lawsuit. He knows the schedule well enough to know that Chimney is working tonight, so he mentally adds the apology to tomorrow's to-do list once Chimney's had time to get off work and sleep a bit.
Before the lawsuit, he wouldn't hesitate to call Eddie even when he's working, but before that, he probably would be babysitting Christopher anyway. Eddie called him exhausting today, raging at him in the grocery store so intensely that Buck wonders if Eddie would have taken a swing at him if they hadn't been interrupted by the accident in the parking lot.
He texts Eddie anyway. Can we talk? It's important.
There's still no reply half an hour later when he reminds himself that he has things to do tomorrow, so he stumbles to his feet and heads upstairs. Sleep comes more easily than he thought it would, but there's still nothing from Eddie by morning. He supposes he has to respect Eddie's choice if that's the way it has to be.
At the lawyer's office, the man himself is in court, but the paralegal who helps Buck with his paperwork is nice enough and explains everything. He's surprised that it's so simple, to be honest, and tells her as much.
"When all parties are in agreement where children are concerned, it really is quite simple, Mr. Buckley. The only real delay is that Virginia can take up to twenty weeks to update the birth certificate. That's why the guardianship paperwork is so important, to cover you legally in the meantime."
It makes sense to Buck. "And is the paternity test really necessary?"
"When it comes to the child's best interests, yes it is. This will leave no doubt in the court's eyes that she's your daughter, even if we haven't gotten the birth certificate back yet."
"And what about child support? I'd assume there would be back pay owed?" Buck can't imagine the hush money his father paid to Natalie qualifies, not the way he always hears about these things going.
"We can get that calculated for you, if you have income records since June of 2013." She gives him a kind smile. "It could be a significant amount."
"It's owed. If Natalie doesn't want it personally, we can use it to set up a college fund for Bree."
Buck will have to contact the family CPA firm back in Pennsylvania, which he still sends his records to each year to do his taxes. With the complete lack of contact with his parents after he left home, he was a little surprised that the firm insisted they'd still handle his taxes, but it was one less thing for him to worry about each year. He signed some forms long ago, and they've always taken care of him.
The fact that he's technically unemployed makes determining his current support requirement a little tricky, but the paralegal assures him it's best to wait until he has another job. On that depressing note, he heads back out into the California sunshine to make it to the appointment he has with the lawyer who set up the trust for his loft. Even if Mackey practiced family law, Buck wouldn't let him touch anything to do with Bree.
When he drops off the paperwork to let his own lawyer review it, the expensive, not child friendly loft comes back to mind. He asks the lawyer about the prospect of selling it.
"The loft was an excellent investment, Mr. Buckley, and the area has only increased in real estate value. You'd have to bring in your real estate agent to confirm, but I'm fairly sure you can sell it at a profit. I assume you're considering something where your daughter can live with you?"
"Yeah. I mean, a kid needs their own room, at least, and if I can afford a place with a nice backyard for her to play in, that's even better, right?" If he sells the loft and buys a house out near Natalie, he'll be closer to Bree, and it'll make the transition much easier if she's already got a home established with him.
With that encouragement, he stops by the lab his lawyer contracts for paternity testing. Once Natalie brings Bree to see them, they'll have the results back in forty-eight hours. Then the legal bases will be covered, and he can banish the nagging worry in the back of his mind that somehow this is all too good to be true.
It's barely lunchtime, so with a few hours to go before he can pick up Bree from school, he stops by the real estate office for the agent who sold him the loft. From the gleam in the agent's eye as he signs the new contract, his lawyer is right about values rising in the area.
"Are you sure about buying in this area?" she asks. "It's a far cry from where your loft is."
"It's where my daughter's school is, and she likes it, so I'd rather not change it."
Buck supposes he'd better get used to the surprised blinking by people who knew him before Bree and after. But the agent smiles and nods, making notes as she quizzes him on what he's looking for. She's thorough, just like she was before, and Buck realizes he's practically described Eddie's house. That isn't surprising since he loves the coziness of it, but just like his loft, it's too far from Bree's school.
"The loft should sell fairly quickly, as we get inquiries for properties in the area all the time. I assume you'd like to sell before you buy?"
Since he doesn't have the same level of savings this time, he nods. "If I have to, I can rent an apartment."
Or stay with Natalie and Bree, since the rental is a three bedroom, and honestly, once the idea occurs to him, he wonders if it might be a good solution for the time being. If Natalie needs help, he's right there. It sticks with him through the rest of the afternoon, enough so that he decides he might as well start packing. Either way, he'll be moving soon enough, and he's lived with the bare minimum before.
Going out to get the boxes is fine, but when he faces his living room, the first thing to catch his eye is Christopher's toys. Sitting down heavily on the couch, he wonders if Eddie will at least let Christopher have them if he just leaves them on the porch while Eddie is working. He could always call Carla and give them to her, but that feels like putting her in the middle of the mess he created when he decided to sue Bobby.
Buck also needs to try to call Chimney to apologize so that Maddie will speak to him again, but something about the demand irks him just enough he can't bring himself to make the call. She's his sister, dammit, and once again, she's chosen the man in her life's feelings over his. Chimney might not be a controlling asshole like Doug, and he'd probably be offended that Maddie's shutting Buck out for his sake, but Buck resents the situation anyway.
Before he can grit his teeth and pack the toys or make the call to Chimney, his phone rings. Expecting Natalie, who said she'd let him know when she and Bree were back from the testing lab, he answers without looking at the screen.
"Is this Evan Buckley?"
"Yes?" Buck knows he sounds confused, but he doesn't recognize the man's voice.
"This is John Hunter. I'm the employee relations officer for the Los Angeles Fire Department. Can you make a four o'clock meeting at Chief Carter's office? He needs to discuss your future with the department."
"I wasn't aware that I had one," Buck manages to stammer out. "I quit the department when I filed the lawsuit, and the city only offered me a settlement."
"Well, Mr. Buckley, you turning down the settlement is exactly what we need to discuss. Is four o'clock possible?"
"Yes, sir." What else is Buck going to say when the Fire Chief wants to see him as soon as possible?
As soon as he's off the phone, he texts Bree and prays he doesn't hit traffic on the way. The last thing he wants is to be late to a meeting like this. Thankfully, he'd dressed nicely knowing he was going to see the lawyers, so he didn't need to change. All the way there, he feels hope starting to build in the back of his mind. Since he's already quit his job and ended the lawsuit, the only reason they'd need to see him is to offer him his job back, right?
He's right.
With a quick stop for vegan burgers and fries, he makes his way to Natalie's, and he can't stop grinning. He's practically bouncing in place when Natalie opens the door, and she looks tired, but amused. Bree dashes forward to take one of the bags, chanting about French fries, and as they follow her to the kitchen, Natalie nudges him.
"It was good news, then?"
"Very good news." As soon as they've settled at the table with the food and something to drink, Buck can't help but share. "They reviewed everything that was presented at the mediation and offered me my choice of positions."
It's still hard to wrap his head around the idea of going from unwanted, certain he'd burned every last bridge with the LAFD, to having multiple options. As much as Mackey told him what happened to him wasn't fair, he'd just figured the lawyer had to say whatever to keep his client happy. The only good thing is that there doesn't seem to be any blowback planned on Bobby for blocking Buck's return.
"Are you going to be a firefighter again?" Bree asks around a mouthful of patty that she's tugged out of her disassembled burger.
"It sounds like it. I can go back to my old firehouse, join search and rescue, or go to one of two other firehouses."
He leaves it at that while they eat, turning the conversation to Bree's school day. It gives him time to mull everything over, and Bree probably doesn't need to hear him agonize over the decision. With no one else to use as a sounding board, he's hoping Natalie won't mind helping him weigh the pros and cons. It turns out he doesn't even have to ask.
"I know I don't really merit an opinion on it yet, but why would you want to go back to your old firehouse?" Natalie asks as soon as Bree goes outside to play. "Your captain obviously has some issues surrounding you getting hurt the way you did. I'm not saying he's a bad guy for worrying about you that much, but isn't that the sort of thing why families don't serve together at stations?"
"Bobby isn't my family."
"I can't speak for how he feels, Buck, but from what you told me so far, you definitely see him as a father figure. Could you really be neutral if he were the one in danger?"
Ducking his head, Buck studies his feet as if his sneakers have all the answers. But she's right, and he sighs. "Not really. But working there means they'll be more open to any issues that come up with Bree. Plus, it's the closest of the three stations. The other two are further south."
"And search and rescue?"
"Would be amazing, but the teams sometimes deploy outside of LA." Before, when he didn't have any direct responsibilities, Buck would have jumped at the opportunity. "And honestly, it's childish of me, but I like being on the truck."
Natalie laughs, shaking her head. "I can't really blame you there. It does look exciting, and what happened to you with the explosion is a one-in-a-million thing."
"Most of our calls are medical or car accidents. Fires aren't as common as everyone thinks, which is a good thing." He sighs. "I'm just not sure how welcome I'll be back at the 118, but at least I know the firefighters there. Another firehouse might say they're willing to take me, but they could be currying favor with the Chief for some reason."
"Better the devil you know?"
"Yeah." Part of Buck feels disloyal for thinking badly of the people he thinks of as family, but the anger directed at him in the grocery store tells him that he isn't going to be welcomed back with open arms, Chief's blessing or not. "I've got the paperwork in my Jeep to add Bree to my insurance. It hadn't even had time to cancel yet."
It feels like two years since Buck found out that Bobby was blocking his return, but weirdly, it's only been two weeks. The Chief had been honest that normally it wouldn't move that fast, but Buck is too well known and, apparently, too popular with the public for them to let it linger in court. The fact that he hadn't gone to the press worked in his favor, and he still can't wrap his head around the fact that he's practically a household name between the bombing and the rescues he did during the tsunami.
He's really fallen off the social media wagon during his recovery, that's for sure.
"When do you go back to work?"
That's the downside to going back to the 118. "Halloween."
"Damn. Well, I think she'll be fine with that, so long as you stay safe."
"I will certainly do my best." He fills her in on the decision he made about the loft, relieved when she doesn't seem to think it's overstepping. It makes it easier to venture the roommate suggestion. "I don't know what your finances are like, and with me getting my job back, obviously I'll be paying my half of Bree's expenses. I don't want to confuse her, though."
After being Eddie's sounding board during the time Eddie and Shannon tried to reconcile, Buck does think it bears consideration that Bree might not understand things clearly. She's younger than Christopher, too. He isn't sure if he should worry or not when Natalie takes a while to think it over, but she nods in the end.
"It makes sense. You'll learn her routines much faster if we're all in the same house for a little while, and even if your loft sells quickly, you might not find an acceptable place right away. That's not something you should rush, not when there's plenty of room here."
Buck's done a lot of things impulsively over the years, but at least this feels reasonable and thought through. He spends the day he has off before returning to work moving his things to Natalie's house or arranging for them to be stored. In the end, he keeps the things he bought for Christopher. Leaving them at Eddie's house would feel like giving up on ever seeing his favorite Diaz again, and if they see each other every regular shift, surely Eddie has to forgive him sometime.
Sometime isn't his first shift back, it seems. The only one on his shift who even remotely welcomes him back is Hen, with everyone else following Bobby's lead of reducing Buck back to rookie scut duty. He endures being left behind on each call, especially after a pointed remark from Chimney about how Buck never got anywhere near the rookie hazing that other firefighters put up with. The implication of favoritism from Bobby stings, and Buck bites back a retort that it isn't his fault that his first captain was fair and Chimney and Hen's was a racist, sexist asshole. It's not like Eddie was ever treated like a rookie, either.
The best part of the night is when Natalie brings Bree by in her costume, although there's no one but Buck and the other firehouse visitors to see the tiny firefighter who hugs him with utmost enthusiasm. By the time the team gets back from the multi-car accident they'd been called out to, it's late enough that all the trick-or-treaters are gone. Buck cleared out the candy and the smoke detectors, although he gets no real compliments for managing the latter. After doing a check over the truck for anything that needs cleaning or restocking, Buck retreats to the bunk room rather than risk a chilly reception upstairs in the loft or being ignored in the gym.
"You're taking this better than I thought you would," Hen says, paused in the doorway to the bunk room.
Buck looks up from the real estate listings his agent sent him to give him an idea of what he can find near Bree's school. It's easier to accept the isolation when he knows he's not going home to silence and loneliness. When he arrived this morning, he'd intended to tell everyone about Bree, figuring even if they're mad at him, they'd want to know about his daughter. It's hard to share that kind of news when no one will speak to you, and he didn't have time to tell Hen before she was called away.
"I won't lie to you that I have not regretted not taking one of the other job offers I was given." He sits up when she crosses the room to sit down on the bunk next to his. "But I'm glad you're not taking sides."
"It's easier for me, because none of my behavior or injuries were called into question. I was just involved as a witness, so nothing felt quite as personal for me as it did for Eddie, Chimney, or Bobby. They just need time."
"I know, and I'm willing to deal with it for a while, so long as I'm not completely on my own here."
"I'll always be your friend. You know that." Hen glances at his tablet screen. "Are you looking to move? I thought you liked your loft."
"I do, but I got it when I thought it was going to be me and Ali. It's time for a change."
Buck reaches for the tablet, thinking about the email he'd gotten today that confirmed Bree's paternity, just as he expected. Before he can change his mind, he pulls up the photo album where he's begun accumulating photos of Bree as fast as he did Christopher. Hen frowns at first, swiping through the photos, but when she comes to one with Buck and Bree together, he can tell the moment it clicks for her.
"Oh my god, Buck." She looks up, eyes wide, but there's no disappointment in her gaze. "Buck 1.0 caught up to you?" she teases. "When did you find out?"
"Monday, after I saw everyone at the grocery store." He gives Hen the rundown of the last few days, surprised that no one comes looking for Hen in the time it takes him to explain.
"She's beautiful. Absolutely precious. I'm the first to know, aren't I?"
"Maddie wouldn't answer my calls before I apologized to Chimney, and he's not speaking to me. Plus, you saw how fast I got cut off this morning when I tried to tell everyone."
"Do you want me to knock some sense into Chimney, at least? This is big news, Buckaroo, and you deserve to share it."
He considers it for a minute before shaking his head. "Honestly? If you don't mind keeping it a secret, I'd rather work through this with everyone before they know about her. You don't have to lie or anything. Just don't volunteer the information."
At first, he thinks Hen will argue, but she sets the tablet aside before dragging him into an enthusiastic hug. "I'll let it play out on one condition," she tells him when she lets him go.
"Name it."
"You bring that little girl of yours over to dinner. Karen will banish me to sleep in the backyard if I keep this news from her. I won't even tell Athena before you're ready."
At the mention of Athena, Buck hesitates. She's not part of the 118, so he has no idea if she'd accept his apology or not. Telling Athena means telling Bobby, though, so he just hopes she'll forgive him in the end. Surely, it won't be more than a few days of secrecy, anyway, right?
He finishes his twenty-four hour shift in relative peace, snatching naps in between the inevitable Halloween call outs. By six in the morning, he's ready to go home, smiling at the thought that he'll be there in time to help Bree get ready for school. Hen catches the smile and winks at him.
"See you at dinner tonight, Buckaroo. Seven o'clock and bring dessert."
"Thanks, Hen."
Shutting the door to his locker, Buck stifles a yawn before heading outside. To his surprise, Eddie hasn't left yet, but he's not waiting by the Jeep like he would have before, usually to invite Buck to his house for breakfast with Christopher. Buck hesitates to cross the parking lot, watching as Eddie frowns at his phone before pocketing it and stretching. The immediate wince makes Buck regret being left behind all shift. Did Eddie get hurt on a call and no one mention it?
Worry overcomes anxiety and fear of rejection. "Eddie? Are you okay?"
Eddie glares at him angrily. "It's none of your concern, Buck. Go home."
Before Buck can press the issue, Eddie climbs into his truck, slamming the door and leaving the parking lot at a speed that isn't exactly the safest. Sighing, he heads for his Jeep, his excitement dimmed a little from the rejection of his concern. Eventually, Eddie will forgive him. Buck just has to be patient.