16. Panic, dogs and punches

Random empty classroom, Hogwarts

Emilia's POV:

Panic rose in my chest as I stumbled through the corridors.

Blood, so much blood, everywhere. His face was ghostly pale.

I had to get to the dorms.

The tingle of magic won't leave my hands, no matter how hard I tried.

Why was this happening? What was happening? It had never happened before.

Was he dead? He couldn't be. I couldn't have killed my own brother.

It became harder and harder to breath.

Blood, and screaming, everywhere. So loud.

"Emilia!" I heard a familiar voice call. I turned around. Sirius.

No, no, this couldn't be happening right now.

"Emilia, wait up!"

Manicured nails, digging into my skin.

I couldn't possibly make it to my dorm.

I'll kill him and myself if he starts canoodling with Blood Traitors.

Its fine, love, he's going to be okay. She was crying. I hated myself.

I stumbled into an old classroom, leaning on a desk for support, trying to force air into my lungs.

"Emilia." He said firmly, grabbing my shoulders. "Look at me. You're having a panic attack. It's okay. Just breathe."

I'm trying, I want to scream. I just shake my head violently instead.

"Okay, okay, breathe with me. In, through your nose, wait, count to five. Now, breathe out, through your mouth. As slowly as you can."

He steadily breathed with me, indicating the speed he wanted me to go. He was standing so close that his breath fanned my cheekbones. It was calming.

When my breathing returned to normal, I slipped out of his semi-embrace and weakly sat on the desk, burying my face in my hands, trying to steady myself.

That was terrible, and so incredibly draining, and I never, ever wanted that to happen again.

Maybe it was time I talked to James about everything.

Sirius swept a hand through my hair, tucking a strand behind my ear, making me look at him.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I shook my head. He frowned softly, and then pulled me in for a hug.

His arms felt safe and warm. His embrace left a deep sort of satisfaction that was incredibly reassuring. I tucked my forehead into the curve of his neck and he bent down, his lips ghosting my right ear.

"I'm sorry," he whispers.

I pulled apart, but his arms held me close. He looked deep into my eyes, and suddenly the atmosphere shifted, the air between us got heavier. His face inched closer and closer, but stopped right in front of my face. His nose was touching the side of mine and his long hair tickled my cheekbones. A small movement on my side, and we would be kissing. He was letting me decide.

From where I was standing, I could see every detail on his face, I could see the way his skin was stretched onto his face bones- every dip, every curve. His presence, his warmth, his hold, his gaze, his proximity, just him- it was so overwhelming that my mind short-circuited and before I knew it, I was pressing my lips onto his.

As soon as our lips touched, a jolt of electricity shot down my spine, its buzz travelling to my fingertips. I wrapped my arms around his neck, wanting to feel it again. He took control- he pushed me against the desk and one of his hands left my waist and threaded into my hair, the other pulled me tighter to him. We kissed again and again and again, breaking only for small seconds for air.

His hands gripped the back of my thighs- I caught the hint and wrapped my legs around his waist as he lifted me onto the desk. Our bodies were impossibly close now, and I could feel his heart beat in tandem with mine. His hands travelled from the back to the sides of my thighs, ghosting the skin under my skirt.

I pulled him closer, pulling at his hair. "Fuck," he breathed, as he urgently kissed down my jaw. His shirt was untucked (as always) and I fiddled with the edge of it.

His hands undid my tie and found the buttons of my shirt. He pulled apart, looking in my eyes for consent.

It's like my brain refocused just then.

Shit.

"I have to go," I told him, pushing him away.

"What?" he asked, as I hopped down and ran to the door.

"I'm sorry," I said as I ran out, leaving him behind.

Shit, shit, shit. Friends, we were supposed to be friends. God damnit, Emilia.

What have I done?

"Are you okay? You seem spacey," Aaron asked me during patrol that night.

I smiled dryly, "Yeah, I'll be fine. Just tired."

We fell silent again. A while later, he sighed, "Melissa left for home this afternoon." Oh right, they were supposed to be good friends.

"How is she doing?"

"She's shaken up, I guess," he replied. Then with sudden energy he said, "It's fucking unfair you know. All of it. Her brother was just like out shopping or something with his girlfriend and then out of nowhere he's hit by someone who doesn't even know him. Imagine that, just walking down the street and you're killed to prove a point. Like your existence secondary to everything else going on."

I nodded, looking at my feet. "Did you see that the Slytherin table was literally empty this morning? They knew that the news would break and just made a collective decision not to show up."

"Bastards," he murmured under his breath.

"Do you realise that right now there's people in the castle that'll end up the same way in a few years?" I asked him slowly. "Dead, or as Death Eaters. Can you imagine what that would be like, to be held at wandpoint by someone you went to school with? Or face off someone you used to know on some battlefield?"

"You're gonna fight then?" he asked.

"I like to think that I'll fight. I like to think that I have the stomach for it. I don't know, we'll see when the time comes."

A beat later, I asked him, "Do you wanna go back? I'll finish up the rounds."

He smiled, "No, it's fine."

He looked out the arches to his right, staring off into the distance. "Do you see that dog too?"

I frowned, "Dog?" I followed his gaze to see that there indeed was a dog on the grounds. It looked familiar.

"I think I've seen him around the castle a few times."

"I think it's following me."

I laughed. "The dog?" He nodded. "Aaron, I can assure you, the dog is not following you."

"No, it is. Everywhere I look, it's there."

I laughed again. "It's a dog- it probably just smells something on you. Do you by chance carry kibble in your pockets?"

He laughed, "I carry Sugar Quills, does that work?"

I looked out at the grounds again; the dog had disappeared.

We fell into step again. We were just about to finish up when he said, "For the record, I think you'll step up. You're that kind of person."

I turned to look at him. "What kind of person?"

"One who's around when they're needed. When it matters the most."

I smiled. "I don't know about that, but thank you."

He nodded.

"Hey guys," a voice drawled. Aaron took a step back- it was only then I realised how close we were standing.

"What are you doing out?" He asked the voice.

"Oh, you know me, just fucking around," Sirius said, an eyebrow raised, maintaining eye- contact with me the whole time.

I looked away, "It's after-hours Sirius, go back to your dorm."

He smiled vindictively, "After-hours is apparently Prefect hook-up time."

My eyes widened and I glanced at Aaron. He was frowning at me. I walked towards Sirius, stopping a couple feet in front of him. "Go away, Sirius."

"Anything for you, princess," he drew out the last word, starting to walk away.

"Don't call me that," I said to his retreating back, ignoring the butterflies in my stomach.

"That was rather crude, wasn't it?" Aaron said to me. My eyes widened, knowing that Sirius wasn't out of earshot.

And sure enough- "What did you just say?"

"I said that was crude. Presumptuous."

Sirius smiled that evil smile again, stalking slowly to Aaron. "Oh yeah?"

"We're Prefects. You should show some respect."

"You're Prefects, not royalty."

"That may be, but you don't know how to treat a lady, do you?" I scoffed. What was that supposed to mean?

"Oh, and I suppose the way to do that is to publicly blame her for something she didn't do," Sirius retorted.

Aaron's nostrils flared. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"No, I do. I know you purposely made it so that you would be on rounds with her today," Sirius said. "I know you're looking to make a move. And I know you're a piece of shit."

As soon as the words left his mouth, Aaron swung and his right fist contacted with Sirius' jaw, causing him to stumble backwards.

"Aaron!" I yelled. Since when does he punch? I didn't even know he could do that.

Sirius, not one to back down, punched Aaron back. He didn't wait for Aaron to react- he pulled him up by his collar and shoved him against the wall, punching him again, this time drawing blood.

"Protego!" I yelled, drawing a shield between them, causing both of them to fall backwards.

"What the fuck?" I asked Sirius. He looked taken aback at my volume. "Go to your dorm or I swear to Merlin I will report your arse."

He reluctantly walked away.

"What was that?" I asked Aaron.

"He attacked me!"

"I was right here! You punched him first."

"Are you defending him? After this?" He asked, pointing at his nose, which was now freely bleeding.

"He's my friend."

He rolled his eyes, huffed angrily and started walking away.

"What are you angry at me for? I didn't do anything."

He wheeled around, "You'd like all of us to think that, that you're so innocent, but then you hang around the likes of him."

I narrowed my eyes, "He's my brother's best friend. And I thought you were friends with James too."

"I'm friends with you, Emilia. Although, I don't know who this is," he said, waving a hand over my body.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I mean, do you know who he is?" When I looked confused, he continued, "He's a Black. He's the same kind that killed Melissa's brother. His family is a part of them. His cousins are literally lining up to be Death Eaters."

My eyes widened, and anger flared in my chest, "He ran away, you know that."

"Sure, he did. He ran away as a part of a teenage rebellion. They're his family. They're who he is. Emilia, he's going to find his way back to them. I'm trying to protect you."

"I don't need you protecting me. I can do that on my own," I snapped back.

There was a beat of silence. "I'm going to report him."

"No, you won't."

He frowned at me.

"It's my word that stands, I'm the only witness. You best believe it's going to be two against you."

"What about the rules, Emilia? I thought you believed in them."

"This has got less to do with the rules and more with the fact that you're an asshole," I said, walking away.