Walking into the base, Peppy started feeling real bad. Steps were getting heavier, was getting uncomfortably hot under the collar.
They gave him some food, some drink. Let him use the facilities, take a quick shower before leading him to General Pepper's office, but instead the General appeared in the hallway to meet him. Hadn't been sure what he was going to say to him, but all that anger he'd felt toward him flying home melted away when Peppy saw the stricken look on his face, knew that he wasn't looking at the General, despite the imposing red coat and cap, was instead looking at his old friend, and his old friend was looking back at him, with questions, for answers, of what had happened to their other old friend, and that sent another uncomfortable heat wave through him, made his muscles go weak with an uncomfortable lightness.
Also made him feel like he couldn't feel his feet on the ground, and then belatedly realized that's because they weren't, they'd slid out right from underneath him, right in time with his eyes rolling up in his head. Got a quick glimpse of the ceiling before his vision started going dark. Was a slow fade, felt Pepper grab him, but he couldn't move himself. Everything was spinning, couldn't figure out where was.
Hearing was the last to go.
Heard Pepper telling him to hang on, that he was going to be alright. They were getting a doctor. That he was in safe hands.
Woke up lying on his back in a dimmed, quiet room, a thin blanket over him. His arm was hooked up to something, freaked him out, thinking of Pigma, brought his other arm up to pull it out before he felt a heavy hand on his, that spoke to him in an equally heavy voice.
"It's just fluids, Peppy. That was one hell of a flight you just made. Took a lot out of you, so leave it in."
Opened his eyes, saw the curtain drawn around his bed, and Pepper sitting in a chair next to him, his hand still on his, keeping him still, looking at him intently.
His coat and cap were nowhere in sight, and somehow seeing him so dressed down, for him, anyway, still had a white button down and trousers on, scared him even more. Looked tired, leaned over, shoulders slumped.
"How long have I been out?" Peppy asked, and Pepper sighed.
"Not too long. An hour. I was expecting you to stay down longer, honestly. You're exhausted Peppy. Please, try not to strain yourself."
"You been sitting with me that whole time?" Peppy continued regardless.
"Yes." Pepper acknowledged, and Peppy scoffed.
"You can't do that. You're the General."
"I can make exceptions." Pepper answered slowly. "Also, hopefully for your peace of mind, I have informed your family that you returned safely. They are on their way as we speak."
Almost shot back with he didn't want Lou seeing him like this, but then realized Fox would give anything to see his father like this. Speaking of Fox…
"Jim… I promised him I'd look after Fox. Have you talked to him? What does he know? He should hear it from me..."
"I have been in contact with James' parents, and I let them know that their son is missing in action. They said they would go to Fox, and as for you Peppy, frankly you are in no condition to talk with Fox right now, it can wait…"
"No, it can't dammit! If I've learned anything, it's that you don't know how much time you're going to get! Might not have time later!"
Thought Pepper might be surprised his uncharacteristic swearing, as Pigma and Jim had razzed him about, but his expression remained undisturbed, and instead, Pepper changed tactics.
"Peppy, is there no way I can convince you to rest?"
"No."
"Then will you tell me what happened? I understandably did not go into great detail with James' parents or your own. Some of that is for security reasons, but some of that is because I truly don't know what happened. You passed out before you could tell me more than your initial SOS report, so if you insist on staying awake, then let's hear it."
Pepper did like to play hardball. Didn't really like this option. Still wanted this needle out of his arm, but he'd talk.
"Pigma..." Peppy started but then paused, taken aback by how bitter that name tasted, before continuing, "...he sold us out. I can still barely believe it."
Pepper listened patiently, as Peppy talked: how everything had been so quiet, too quiet, just like this room was too quiet, how he knew something bad was going to happen, just like everybody knew bad things happened in doctor's offices and hospitals and army sick bays like where he was now, having to tell this terrible story, how Pigma had planned it out, brought what he'd needed to play it out, the tranquilizers, the barrier, and the terrible choice he'd given Peppy, that had really been no choice at all. Was just another part of his plan. Why, Peppy couldn't really fathom. What, was having his and Jim's blood on his hands just somehow too much?
Making a mad dash out of there. Did give Pepper the best description of the enemy's ships that he could. How they'd shot his angel's wing clear off, and how he'd had to fly her all the way back without it.
Even went into a rant.
"Was Jim just destined to die? If it hadn't been now, was it going to be some other time? Was Andross always going to kill him? One way or another? He's just been sitting out there in exile all these years, waiting for his chance to do this? Why'd he wait so long? Could have tried it again after he'd killed Vickie... Am I just saying that so I don't have to think about how I lost my best friend to my other one? I know Pigma was always joking around, was rough around the edges, but I thought… We were friends. We..."
Peppy trailed off, and Pepper hung his head in respect.
"Those are difficult questions, Peppy. The kind one asks kneeling down in church. Or standing under the open sky. Or lying down in a gurney bed." Pepper responded with, while also acknowledging with a nod Peppy's current location.
"But I can assure you, if I had had even one thought that Pigma would betray you, I would never have sent you on this mission. I knew there would be danger, but I never thought from him. You all were thick as thieves… I'm so sorry, Peppy."
Having to say it aloud, then having someone else hear it, know it, confirm it, turned out to be too much for Peppy, and he felt the tears coming, and he was too tired to even sit up, so he just brought his free arm up to cover his face, except when he did, he caught the glint of steel from the band on his finger.
The ring Jim had given him. He'd forgotten he'd been wearing it and the sight of it made him stop, freeze, with his hand held over his face, knew Pepper was watching him but couldn't help it.
What the did this ring mean, anymore?
It didn't save them. Didn't save Jim. All Peppy could do was run away. Just like everyone had always joked he would. Was in his blood, and now he wanted to run again, and he got that coil in his legs he always did, was what allowed him to sit up and swung his legs over the side of the gurney.
He started to go for that needle in his arm again, except Pepper was there, had moved from the chair to the edge of the bed as well, then had his arms around him, holding him in place and Peppy tried to shake him off, didn't want to be here, on this bed, in this room, on this base, but Pepper only held on tighter and they struggled awhile, well, Peppy struggled, Pepper was fine, Peppy was just a rabbit after all, and that coil in his legs was fading fast, so he gave up, let his eyes run, his breath hitch, and even still Pepper didn't let him go.
"Is there any chance he's still alive?" Peppy found himself asking, after a time, and Pepper pulled away, handed him a tissue, then returned to his chair. Took a moment to gather himself, before whatever he was about to say. And then he said it.
"In this business, life and death merge frequently. The boundary is more blurry than I would normally like to admit. You know that I generally pride myself on being a rational man, but there have been times when I felt the presence of someone dear to me let me know they were passing, only to learn afterwards it was true.
"We are old friends, so I only share this with you in the strictest of confidences, but yesterday, I felt that from James. That cocky bastard even knocked over a photo of the two of us, taken right after we'd graduated from basic training.
"When I later heard your SOS, and that you were the only one returning, I feared the worst. This, in combination with your story, leaves me with very little hope that James is still alive."
Peppy nodded to himself, before adding, "That's what I thought too…"
"Peppy, I have also kept something of yours in the strictest of confidences, and I will continue to do so. You are most likely not even aware of the fact that I know this, but while you and James have been many things to each other, I know recently your relationship had changed once again, and in light of this, I wanted to offer my additional condolences."
Peppy could only stare at him. He and Jim had never talked about what they were going to tell anybody. And since Peppy was the more talkative of the two, he'd just assumed if he hadn't said anything anything, Jim hadn't either. He wasn't sure what to make of this. Only that it hurt. Someone else knew what he'd had, and now what he'd lost.
"He didn't tell me himself." Pepper scratched the book of his head, in an uncharacteristically embarrassed motion, before further explaining, "But we saw each other, socially, after you and he returned from Fichina, and well..."
Pepper paused, then shrugged, almost in apology, before declaring, "I am a bloodhound. It is difficult to get anything past this nose. I was… quite happy for you two, actually. I thought you both deserved to have someone, after everything you'd been through. I'm so sorry it turned out like this. But I am so glad you returned, my friend. And now, please, my friend, will you rest?"
Peppy nodded, laid back down, suddenly terribly weary. Could barely keep his eyes open, like there were weights attached to them, just like his body had weights attached, dragging him down and Pepper stood, made his way to the door.
Turned back just before he opened it to add.
"I looked at your ship. It is a miracle you got back; you need to know that."
Didn't feel like a miracle to Peppy right now, as Pepper walked out, shut the door behind him.
Felt more like some insane game that he didn't get the rules.