When Peter went to bed in his room at the Avenger's Tower, he was not expecting to be woken up like this. And by this he means with a tall, dark haired man two inches from his face. Who also happens to be a god. He bolted upright, their heads colliding with a solid smack.
"Damn!" Loki cursed, standing upright and holding a hand to his forehead. "What the hell is your skull made of? Bricks?" Peter felt a sheepish expression cross his face for a moment while he rubbed at his own wound before stopping abruptly.
"You're the one all up in my face!" he exclaimed then gestured around him. "This is my room, you know." Loki dropped his arm, raising a brow at him.
"I am well aware, child," the god contended. Peter didn't even bother correcting him, just rolling his eyes. "I am simply waiting in here for a moment," he said innocently. Which was something the man was clearly not. Peter squinted at him.
He pulled his legs from under the covers and dropped his feet onto the floor, staring up at the other. "Are you even allowed in the building?"
"Yes," he answered immediately, looking Peter dead in the eyes.
Peter stared back. "FRID-" Loki jolted forward, covering Peter's mouth with his hand for a brief second before recoiling when the teen licked it. He wiped it across his shirt, grimacing.
"Fine," he conceded, crossing his arms. "But I'm not doing anything" - Peter made a face - "I'm not doing anything bad," he clarified. The brunette motioned for him to continue. Loki sighed. "I'm avoiding my brother."
"Thor?" Peter questioned. Loki sent him a withering look, to which Peter grinned and shrugged. "Why, though? If you've done nothing wrong?"
Loki sighed. "Because he thinks I've done something wrong," he said, throwing his arms up exasperatedly before peering down at the teen. "Who even are you, to be here?" he asked. Peter gaped up at him, then snorted.
"Figure it out yourself, oh mighty god," he lilted, not bothering to hide his smile. "Not that it matters, anyway. What does Thor think you did wrong?" he questioned.
The god pursed his lips, narrowing his eyes at Peter before looking to the side, muttering something under his breath - something that Peter could clearly hear thanks to his advanced senses, but, to play along, he feigned confusion. "What?" he asked, tilting his head.
Loki turned to glare at him, crossing his arms petulantly. "He thinks I stole his hammer."
Peter laughed disbelievingly. "The hammer? The one that's impossible for anyone but him to lift?" he clarified. Loki nodded emphatically, seemingly thankful to have someone else share his sentiments.
"Exactly!" he exclaimed. His expression soured. "He thinks I used my 'mind powers' to hide it," he mocked, beginning to pace the room. "They don't work on his hammer - he knows this!"
Peter nodded along, struggling to keep his mouth set in a firm line. "I believe you," he said honestly.
Loki turned to him. "Thank you," he responded, looking surprisingly relieved to have a companion in his woes.
Peter stood up, an idea forming in his mind. "Hey, how about I help you out?" he offered. The god jutted his chin out, gesturing for him to continue. "I know this place pretty well, and I can enlist FRIDAY's help too since Mr. Stark isn't here to stop me," he grinned. Loki's eyes curved into half moon crescents, a smirk of his own forming.
"Wonderful," he purred.
Peter glanced down. He was still in his sweats and hoodie from last night, so he didn't really feel a need to change, only pulling on his shoes from next to his nightstand before heading for the door. He grabbed the handle, turning to Loki. "You know where he is right now?" he asked.
"Ah yes, he's a few floors down. It seems he's gotten it into his head that I'm in the vents there - heaven knows why - and I can't leave the building since he's called some of his Asgardian friends to guard the outside." He huffed.
"Alright," Peter nodded, pulling open the door. "FRIDAY, can you play Despacito two floors down from where Thor is?" Loki raised his eyebrows, a sharp exhale leaving his nose.
"Of course, Peter," FRIDAY responded, Irish lilt amused.
The teen left the room with a smile, motioning for Loki to follow. A few stories lower, he heard Thor bellow a deep, 'AHA' before rushing down a set of stairs to where the music emanated. "He's taken the bait," Peter remarked idly, not noticing Loki's curious look. "We can take the elevator."
Smooth jazz played as the doors to the lift closed, a soft blip going off for every floor they went down. Peter froze, catching Loki's attention. "What is it-"
Peter interrupted him. "Thor told me this one story-" he said quickly, listening as a set of heavy footsteps raced towards the elevator they were in from two stories below.
"Oh no," Loki muttered.
"-he called it 'get help,'" Peter finished, glancing up at the god. The man sighed.
"It could be worse," he mused, sidling up to Peter's side as they alighted to the floor that Thor was on, the other man waiting right outside. The door opened, revealing a red faced, blonde haired beast of a man.
"LOKI" he roared, stepping forwards as Loki reached a hand out to grab Peter.
The teen was quicker, though, instead encircling his arm around the god of mischief's waist, and screaming, "GET HELP" at the top of his lungs as he bodily threw the ravenette at his brother, eliciting a surprised shriek from the man as he knocked into the other like a bowling pin. Both went down, and Peter raced to their collapsed figures, hauling Loki up off the groaning Thor and dragging him back to the elevator, rapidly clicking the 'close door' button until it did so, leaving behind a groggily standing god of thunder. "FRIDAY," Peter called in a high pitched voice, "let's go straight to the first floor," he squeaked.
"Of course, Peter," she intoned.
Loki pulled himself up off the teen. "You couldn't have asked that earlier?" he accused, wincing as he held his ribs. "And I thought I was going to throw you!" he exclaimed, voice rising. "And you're supposed to ask for help before doing the whole throwing thing, not while you throw!" he nearly shouted. "And who the hell are you?"
Peter laughed sheepishly, rubbing at the back of his neck. "I'm Spider-Man," he admitted.
Loki stared at him, squinting. "Of course you are," he muttered.
A minute later, they alighted onto the ground floor. "I heard this other story-" Peter started.
"This can't be good," remarked Loki.
"-from Captain America. About how you turned into him?" he asked. He could hear Thor practically flying down the stairs, only about ten levels between him and them now. He glanced at the entryway. "Can you do that with me?"
Loki's eyebrows rose for a moment before his face settled into a conniving grin. "That is a much better idea," he smirked, his form sloughing off and becoming Peter's own, the original staring at his copy with wide eyes.
"Woah," he breathed.
"LOKI-" Thor crashed through the doors to the stairway, already roaring, before he spotted the pair. His face contorted. "WHICH ONE OF YOU IS THE REAL PETER OF PARKER?" he bellowed.
"Me," the duo said simultaneously, each pointing at the other.
Peter grabbed Loki's hand, pulling him towards the entrance of the Stark Tower, which was on the opposite side of where Thor had come out. The angered god raced after them. Just as they were passing the security post, which was empty since the building was closed for the day, Peter noticed a certain, inconspicuous object sitting on the rack that led to the x-ray scanner. He snatched it up thoughtlessly as they continued to run, his pace slowing momentarily and letting Loki take the lead. He stumbled a step, eyes widening as he stared at the weapon in his hand. He snapped his head back to look at Thor, who had stopped mid run and was staring at Peter's hand, slack jawed.
Loki whipped around to face Peter, who he'd been dragging behind him for the last few steps. "What are you-" he stopped, staring incredulously at the hammer in Peter's grip. "What the fuck?"
I've never heard a god swear before, Peter thought dimly, eyes trained on Mjölner.
Thor took a hesitant step forward, snapping the teen out of his reverie. The young hero clasped his free hand around Loki's wrist and bolted through the front doors, Loki wordlessly following.
They were met with the sight of several Asgardians, one that Peter recognized - Valkyrie - at the forefront. They too were in position to attack, but abruptly stopped upon seeing what Peter held.
A rocky looking guy - Korg, if Peter was remembering correctly - came from around the corner. "What's the holdup?" he asked.
One of them raised a shaky hand up, pointing at the teen. "He holds Mjölner," he whispered reverently.
Thor came up behind the teen, placing a heavy hand on his shoulder and making Peter flinch. Loki took a wary step back. "How…" the blonde started softly.
Peter shrugged jerkily. "Um, you, uh, left this in the baggage tray" he finished lamely, passing the hammer to Thor, who took it gingerly.
"Is he your successor?" Valkyrie questioned, coming to stand by his side.
"I-" Thor started, but Peter interrupted him, waving his hands around frantically.
"Nope! Not a successor. I'm just a normal guy. Dude. Person. Friendly neighborhood Sp- uh, human. That's enough for me," he let out a hysterical giggle.
Valkyrie looked slightly perturbed, turning to face his double. "And this is your… twin?" she queried.
Loki shifted back to his original form, flashing a smile at the guardians, who tensed. Valkyrie punched him in the face. "Ow!" he protested, holding a hand against his nose.
Peter stepped in front of him, raising his arms. "No, no! It's all good!" he exclaimed. "Loki didn't steal Thor's hammer," he clarified.
Thor nodded, expression still dazed. "I left it," he concurred, gesturing vaguely at the entrance. Valkyrie stared at the god, more than a little miffed.
"That's alright, Thor!" Korg exclaimed. "We all do that every now and then!"
"You don't also chase around your brother with threats to his life," Loki muttered.
Peter took a step back, ducking under the loose grip Thor had on his shoulder. "I'm just - I'm gonna go? Back inside. I'll uh. I'll see you guys… later," he asserted, giving a shaky grin and a weak thumbs up.
"Alright, Thor's successor!" Korg called, waving merrily.
"Not his successor!" Peter yelped, turning and running back inside.
"You should help him out with his confidence, Thor!" Korg noted, patting the god on the back.
"Ah, yes," Thor agreed numbly.
Valkyrie exhaled slowly. "Glad to see you called us all the way here for this," she remarked, voice dripping with sarcasm.
Thor raised his hammer, inspecting it closely for a moment before thrusting it in front of Loki, who reached out to hold it on reflex. Thor dropped it into his brother's hands, causing the man to collapse to the ground on his hands and knees, weighed down by the weapon. "Thank you very much," the ravenette ground out, tugging at his arms fruitlessly.
"Hm," Thor asserted, grasping at his chin with one hand. "Maybe it is time for me to consider an heir," he mused.