"Mama, I want full control over Bruno's care," Julieta requested. She expected an argument so she tried to make her case. "He's in a fragile state and I don't think just having Felix and Agustin watching over him is enough. Someone needs to keep track of him and his moods and be able to react properly to it. I really think Bruno is getting better, but as he recovers I feel like it only makes it that much harder since he hardly talks about what's going on in his head."
Alma was tired and she knew that her daughter was right. Not to mention, everything the old woman had done so far hardly helped at all. So she agreed, "I can't handle taking care of Bruno and the town. Both require a lot of time and patience. Do what you think he needs, but please just protect him."
Bruno was sick and Abuela knew that the best medicine was her daughter. Julieta was a healer in more ways that just the food she made. And of all the family, Julieta was one of the few that had not yet done something to scare or hurt him.
.=.
Plagued by nightmares, Bruno did not sleep more than an hour before he suddenly woke sitting up too quickly. Head feeling dizzy and eyes blurry, he laid back down. He was covered in sweat and felt sick to his stomach.
A hand touched his forehead making him flinch away. "It's okay hermanito," Julieta said, gently touching his cheek. "You have a fever."
He blinked a few times to clear his vision and saw both of his sisters sitting at his sides. Pepa was petting her braid nervously. "Are you okay?" he weakly asked his sister seeing her so distressed. The question only seemed to upset her more.
"Why didn't you tell anyone you were feeling sick Bruno?" She responded with her own question. "You could have been healed before it got this bad."
"He ate my food this morning, he can't exactly be sick." Julieta answered for him. "It's brought on by stress, there's nothing I can do."
Pepa got up and paced by the bed, a cloud began to form."But he was in such a good mood earlier. What happened?"
Tears formed in their brother's eyes. He couldn't help but cry. He thought he was better too, but he wasn't. Maybe things would never get better. The horrible things that happened to him would haunt him forever and there was nothing that could be done about it. And he would always have to live with the fact that it affected his family too.
Some of his family had witnessed what happened to him. They would have to suffer with the memories forever. How were they handling and overcoming it? He wasn't handling it well at all. But they seemed fine and acted so supportive. Even Dolores seemed perfectly fine. Was he really so weak?
Julieta took his hand and rubbed circles into it with her thumb as he started to sob. "It's going to be okay Bruno." But it wasn't, not any way that he could see. He was no good to his family, just a pathetic shadow of the person he used to be. Even before this, he was no good.
A migraine struck through his head. He closed his eyes and ground his teeth from the agony. "He's in pain and he looks flushed," Pepa said getting close, as her cloud started to rain. The cool drops of water made him shiver, despite his skin being so hot.
"Step back Pepa, you're going to get him wet," Julieta warned.
"Just let me die," Bruno finally managed to cry out. His sisters froze, stunned by what he was saying. "I can't take it anymore. I don't want to live like this," he sobbed.
Julieta shifted uncomfortably on the bed feeling helpless. "It's just a fever. It will pass." She knew that he was talking about more than the fever, she just didn't want to acknowledge it. She ran her hand over his hair petting him, but he swatted her away.
Light danced behind his eyelids as another bout of pain went through his skull. "It hurts," he complained sitting up and holding his head.
"Get Isabella to dim the light around the bed," Julieta ordered. Pepa ran off for a few minutes and came back as the light dimmed around the bed. Curtains of flowers connected by thin vines surrounded them blocking as much light as possible. Two sections on either side were left open to let some light in and to allow him to interact with his sisters. It helped a little.
Julieta pushed him to lay back down. "Bruno, you need to calm down and rest. You won't get any better if you can't calm down."
"I don't care," he groaned.
"Bruno, please don't say things like that," Pepa whined unable to take it anymore. She was getting soaked under her rain cloud and listening to her brother say such negative things was making it worse.
"Why not?" He responded as his head ached. He opened his eyes to look at her. "You all would be better off without me. I just make things worse. I'm a burden. If I had stayed in the walls you wouldn't be so upset. You'd be cursing my name, but at least you'd be happy."
"I was never happy cursing your name Bruno," she argued, the cloud above her darkened and thundered. "It was just how I tried to cope." She sighed heavily. "I just missed you so much. I thought pushing you away would help."
"You're not a burden hermanito," Julieta assured. "It was a burden not having you with us for all those years." He didn't know how to respond. It was sad that he had burdened them either way. He just wished he could be the one to make their lives better, instead of them having to take care of him making their lives harder.
"I'm sorry," He whispered to them. "I wish I was stronger."
"You are strong," Julieta insisted. "Only a strong selfless person could protect another for so long. I never got a chance to thank you." She looked him in the eye conveying her sincerity. "Thank you for protecting Mirabel for those ten years so that she could have a normal life. It must have been hard to see us but never get to be with us."
"Hiding is not strong," Bruno countered. "And the way I am acting now isn't either. Your children are stronger than I am. They've been through so much. Dolores, Camilo, and Mirabel witnessed things no one should ever see. And the rest of them had almost been killed. I don't know how they are coping so well. They act like nothing happened." Tears fell from his eyes. "I wish I could be as strong as them. But all I can do is cower and cry."
Pepa managed to get her cloud to stop raining and sat on her knees by the bed taking his hand. "Oh Bruno," she said sympathetically. "The children are just putting on a brave face in front of you. Camilo is less energetic. Mirabel has a hard time getting out of bed in the morning. Luisa gets nervous easier. Dolores has terrible nightmares-"
"Pepa," Julieta warned and the other woman quickly stopped. He would only get worse if he became more stressed. Unfortunately, Bruno was looking increasingly concerned and guilt ridden.
She did her best to explain without upsetting him, "It's true that the children are not unaffected. But it's to be expected after such traumatic events. We are all affected. But we are all handling it the best we can. Pepa, Felix, Agustin, and I are helping the children through it. They are healing."
"Of course I'm worried about the children, but I've found that I can help them by listening and talking to them. I can give them space and the opportunity to come to me if they need anything. I feel confident that in time they really will be okay." Julieta looked down as his hand then, and could not look him in the eye as she chose her next words.
She tried not to cry, but the tears came anyway, "I'm mostly worried about you Bruno. I only know a fraction of what you went through. It's unimaginable. The pain and the horror. I'm so scared for you." Pepa's rain began to fall again and she stepped away as she listened to her sister.
"I'm scared that you won't be okay," Julieta confessed quietly, as if saying it out loud would make it true. Bruno squeezed her hand in understanding.
"I'm scared too," Pepa cried with her own confession. "I-I started loosing hope until this morning, when you sat with us at breakfast. I'm so sorry Bruno. I don't want to give up on you. I just keep thinking that if I were you, I probably would give up. It's not fair what those bastards did to you. Why did it even have to happen? You were gone for ten years and then all these people suddenly want to hurt you. You didn't even do anything. You don't deserve this," she sobbed.
"Pepa. Julieta." Bruno gasped with tears in his eyes. "I'm-"
"Don't say sorry!" Pepa yelled at him. "What do you have to be sorry about?!" He couldn't help it. The situation may not have been his fault, but he was sorry it happened.
"I want you to focus on yourself hermanito," Julieta advised. "Don't compare your pain or experience to anyone else. Because it is simply not the same. Do you understand?" He nodded, still feeling regretful about how affected everyone else was. "Get some rest, I'm going to let everyone know you're okay."
Julieta led her sister out of the room worried she would stress their brother out further. Pepa was too upset to say anything else so she reluctantly left. When the door closed, Bruno was left alone in Isabela's bed.
Her bed was comfortable and smelled like flowers, much like the spot he liked to lay in. He felt bad about taking her bed, so he decided to get up and go elsewhere. But that was easier said than done. He felt too nauseous and weak to move. Eye lids heavy and body weak, Bruno fell asleep within minutes before he could figure out what to do next.
.-.
When he woke the room was dark indicating he had slept the whole day. He still felt feverish but he was thirsty, so he needed to get up for water. He tired to get up but he was wrapped in another person's arms caging him against their chest. Bruno's heart started to beat rapidly with a spike of fear, and he tried to pull away only to bump into someone else behind him.
He scrambled to stand up disturbing the others in the bed. The blankets got tangled around his feet as the other two people sat up. "Bruno, what are you doing?!" Pepa exclaimed as he fell backward and off the bed with a yelp.
"Bruno?" Julieta called as the women looked over the edge to see him laying on the floor looking back at them in the dim light.
"I was just getting up for some water," he told them as he started to calm down realizing his sisters were sleeping with him and not some dangerous maniacs.
They quickly got out of bed to help him up and back in it. Still feeling weak and nauseous he let them tuck him back in under the warm blankets. "I'll get you something to drink," Julieta said moving around oddly in the dark like she was trying to avoid stepping on things, before getting out the door.
Bruno excused the strange way she walked through the room on his delirium from the fever. "Where's Isabela sleeping?" Bruno asked worried that it was his fault she couldn't sleep in her own room.
"She decided to have a sleep over with her siblings and cousins," Pepa responded laying back down next to him.
"Oh," he said thinking that maybe she was having fun then and wouldn't be too upset with him. Julieta came back in with a cup of water and slowly made her way back to the bed stepping over the sleeping lumps on the floor.
Pepa helped her brother sit up and Julieta handed him the cup. The cool water soothed his dry throat and he was starting to feel a little better. When he finished his water, his sister put the cup on the floor and they all laid back down together.
"Who's room did they decide to have their sleep over in?" He asked looking into the darkness of the ceiling.
"Go to sleep hermanito. You'll feel better with more rest," Juleita told him as she lay close against his side. Pepa reached her arm over his stomach and cuddled close. He appreciated the closeness of his family and fell back into a dreamless sleep.
.-.
In the morning, Bruno awoke feeling much better. It had to have been his sisters that cured him. He couldn't help but feel grateful that they had taken the time to sleep with him over night. It reminded him of when they were young and would sleep together in the nursery. When they got old enough they would cuddle in Pepa's room because her bed sat on a cloud and felt the softest.
He sat up to see Julieta was already up and out of the room. She usually got up earlier than everyone else to start breakfast. Pepa still slept next to him drooling on the pillow. He covered his mouth to keep from laughing at the face she was making.
It felt odd, to feel okay. Bruno had been so hopeless yesterday, but right now he felt okay. He decided to make the best of it. He was going to try hard today to be a good family member and not burden them so much.
He climbed out of bed doing his best not to disturb his sister, but was met with multiple lumps of people shaped blankets all over the floor. Pepa had mentioned the kids were having a sleep over, but he didn't know it was to sleep with him. He wasn't sure if he should feel guilty for making them worry or grateful that they cared so much. An involuntary smile raised his cheeks, so he supposed that answered that.
Not wanting to disturb them, he stepped over them and left the room. He was determined to show how much he cared too. Bruno would do his best to get better and return to normal so he could be there for them, because it was not fair for them have to be there for someone who was so much older.
.-.
Bruno found spare clothes and towels in the laundry room. He prepared himself mentally for what he knew he had to do. Inside the bathroom, he glared down at the tub as if it was personally responsible for his past experiences. Admittedly, we was afraid.
He knew that he would be bombarded with memories of Andre and all the bad things that happened. But his mother was right, he had to do this at some point. It's what healthy normal adults did, so he could do this.
"You're such a little bitch," Val said sitting on the sink's counter.
"I'm not scared of you," Bruno said turning to shoot her an angry glare.
"You should be. Andre isn't here to protect you anymore," she said smiling sinisterly and holding knife up as a threat.
"I don't need him," Bruno responded looking back at the tub. "You're not real, My family is and that's all I care about." He was tired of running and tired of being afraid. What Daz and Val did to him would haunt his memories for the rest of his life. But a memory was all they would get. The present and the future were for him and his family.
He didn't hear anything else from her. She was gone. Bruno felt like he could really do this. He got rid of her, so anything was possible. Without giving it a second thought he flung salt over his shoulder, turned the shower on, and pulled his clothes off. He started to feel a little queasy from dealing with the hallucination, but he pressed on. He could do this. He could do anything.
Stepping into the shower was easy enough. The water cascading down against him was warm and calming. He was beginning to feel like he had been overreacting this whole time. The shower was fine. He knocked on the wall. "knock knock knock knock knock, knock on wood," he chanted, in the hopes to not jinx how well it was going so far.
He began washing his own body when a memory of Camilo being Andre flashed in his mind. His stomach churned. Nothing absolutely terrible had happened, he reminded himself, it was necessary. It was fine. But then before that Daz had done things, all those people had. Bruno knocked on the wall again hoping to ward it off.
He closed his eyes and focused on the water. He tried to keep the urge to hit his head against the wall at bay. Casita would get someone if he did it and he wanted to do this alone. When he reached down to clean his intimate areas he could hear Daz's voice, "Jerk yourself off. Of course you like it." Bruno dropped the rag he was cleaning himself with and knocked on the wall once again. He was doing so well. He could do this.
Bruno had to do this. It was such a simple task. It should not be this difficult. He slid down and sat in the tub letting the water rain down on him. He kept knocking on the wall, deciding he'd ward off the bad first and finish his shower after. He could do this if he really tried. He just needed a minute. His fever was coming back though, and he was feeling very nauseous.
.=.
Pepa walked into the kitchen ready for the day expecting to see Bruno with Julieta. But she didn't see him. "Where's Bruno?"
"He was in bed last time I saw him," her sister responded in confusion.
"Why does he keep doing this?" Pepa complained as her cloud started to form. Any more of this and the cloud might as well be a permanent part of her wardrobe.
"Keep doing what?" Abuela asked walking in.
"Bruno is missing again," Pepa confessed worriedly.
"Wake everyone up and find him," Alma said angrily. She had told her son to make sure someone always knew where he was. But she should have known better, he never quite did what he was told.
The house was in a panic upon hearing Bruno was missing, but luckily the family didn't ignore casita this time. The house easily led them to the bathroom and they all sighed in relief and laughed among themselves for panicking over nothing.
Abuela was much less upset now and decided against reprimanding her son. He was finally showering, and she couldn't be upset over his own self care. He had hit a rough patch, but he seemed to be getting a little better. Julieta had said his fever broke last night so she was hopeful.
The family dispersed to get ready for the day and Camilo called dibs on the bathroom next. But after a while he couldn't hold it and asked casita to unlock the bathroom door. Stepping in, he announced himself.
"Sorry Tio Bruno, I couldn't hold it." He used the bathroom quickly listening to the consistent sound of knocking in the shower. His Tio didn't normally knock for so long and he usually chanted his knocks. "Are you okay?" Camilo asked stepping close to the shower curtain. He didn't open it, not wanting the man to have a panic attack. The teen had vowed to never cross the line and get in his Tio's personal space ever again.
"Are you guys done yet, Mirabel needs to go next," Agustin said peaking in.
"I think somethings wrong with Tio Bruno," Camilo said, too nervous to open the curtain. Agustin wasted no time coming in and sliding the curtain open. Bruno was there, sitting with his knees up and knocking on the wall with bruised knuckles .
"Oh my god, how long has he been in here?" Agustin asked, turning the water off and grabbing his in-law's wrist to stop anymore damage. Camilo wished he knew as he gazed at the blank expression on his Tio's face.
"Bruno?" Agustin called laying a hand on his damp shoulder. "Can you hear me?"
Bruno looked right at him seemingly aware. "Yeah," he answered looking at the other man like he was the one acting strange. "I'm just taking a break."
"Okay," Agustin said gently, trying to match the smaller man's causal tone, hoping it would keep him calm. "Well, everyone else needs the bathroom. So how about you finish later?"
"Oh," Bruno said feeling bad for holding everyone up. "Okay." Camilo passed Agustin a towel and it was wrapped around the naked man's shoulders. Bruno stood on shaky legs. "I don't feel very good," he said leaning against his brother-in-law. The taller man could feel how hot his skin was. He was still sick.
"Let's get you back in bed," Agustin offered, lifting him in his arms when the smaller man's legs gave out.
"No," Bruno responded leaning his head against the other man's shoulder. "I can't lay around all day. I'm trying to be better today." He seemed incoherent. Luckily, Agustin was able to carry him back to Isabela's room without a fuss. Many family members watched worriedly as they went back to the room.
Agustin set Bruno down, trying to keep him steady on his legs as he toweled him off. The feeling of being touched all over his naked skin made Bruno want to vomit, but he held it in trying to be strong. He wanted everything to just be okay. He knew it was possible for things to be okay.
Camilo came in putting his clothes on the bed and was quickly shooed out for privacy. The teen didn't mind, he did not want to be the center of his Tio's trauma anymore than he already was. However, he and many others hovered around Isabela's door waiting for confirmation that their Tio was fine.
Agustin reached for the clothes to help him get dressed. "Don't," Bruno told him unable to deal with being handled anymore. "I can do it." The taller man was sure he could not. He let go of the shorter man only to watch him sway, then sit on the bed tiredly using the towel to cover himself.
"Bruno, what are you doing?" Agustin finally asked seeing some clarity coming back into the smaller man's eyes. "You're sick and should not have been out of bed. Why are you pushing yourself? Especially with the shower of all things?"
Bruno sighed unhappily. His head felt dizzy and he wanted to sleep. But he gathered his thoughts the best he could. "I just- I just want things to be the way they should be." His head felt heavy and he involuntarily leaned back to lay down. "Everyone is trying to take care of me. But I should be able to do it."
He felt exposed laying on the bed naked like a display for his assailants to get. But his body was too heavy to lift and he was helpless. The thought of it disturbed him and he started to cry. His skin got hotter and his head started to ache. "Agustin," he whispered. "I just need to do things for myself. I can't rely on everyone else."
"You have no choice Bruno," the other man said draping a blanket over him. "I understand that it has been hard to deal with Abuela and the rest of the family controlling and watching your every move. I understand that you need some independence. But now is not the time. You are unwell, and that requires help from others," Agustin explained.
"I can handle myself," Bruno said stubbornly. He felt really determined. He knew he could do it. And once he was well enough he would make sure to be a reliable family member, as he should be.
"Then put your clothes on," his in-law challenged trying to make a point. Bruno glared at the ceiling. He was too weak to even lift his arms. "It's better to accept help than to settle with beliefs that will get you nowhere. It's reality versus fantasy."
It was irritatingly true. What he wanted and believed was just not how things really were. Bruno softened then, he decided he would accept help. But the moment he was able, he was going to do all he can to make his family's lives better.
Agustin reached for the clothes again. Bruno looked away from he other man and tensed as his underwear was slipped onto his legs and up. He closed his eyes feeling Agustin's hand lift him by the thigh to pull the garment on all the way.
"I can stop there," Agustin offered seeing the small man in tears.
"No," Bruno responded looking at him through blurry eyes. "It makes me feel safer when I have all my clothes on." His in-law nodded sympathetically.
Agustin slid Bruno's pants onto him with the same method. The brush of fingers against Bruno's hot skin made him shudder. But he didn't tell his in-law to stop, because he really did want his clothes on. Agustin pulled his shirt onto him next, manipulating the other man's limp arms and body. When his shirt was buttoned, his ruana was pulled on last.
Bruno felt better being fully dressed, even if the process was a little difficult. "Can you hold me?" he asked Agustin feeling humiliated. He just felt so scared and upset. His family's hugs always helped.
Agustin didn't hesitate. He got on the bed and pulled Bruno to lay next to him with his head against the taller man's chest. "It's going to be okay." Agustin assured him as he pet his in-law's hair. Bruno felt that it probably would be, or at least he hoped. He closed his eyes letting tears fall as sleep over took him.