General Welfare Chapter 2: The Storm, a hunger games fanfic

GENERAL WELFARE
The 53rd Annual Hunger Games
°°°
Part II. The Storm

"The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails."
—William Arthur Ward

As the seconds tick down, all she can do is look for Shae.

Nim's eyes dart back and forth as Caesar announces far too eagerly, "20… 19… 18…."

At least her being so concerned about where her brother is means she's not paying much attention to the shipwreck in front of her, this year's makeshift Cornucopia. The irony isn't lost on her, but that's a problem for later.

Nim knows that whether or not she's able to find Shae before the clock strikes zero, she'll have to rush into the center as fast as she can. Luckily, she's always considered herself relatively agile. Even then, though, the Careers have trained their whole lives for this thirty-meter sprint while she's practiced maybe twice.

"9… 8… 7…."

And still no sight of Shae. Perhaps he's on the other side of the ship, hence why Nim can't see him. Even collapsed, the mast is too tall for her to see over to the other side. At least she can make out her other allies. Viscania and Yara are not too far to her left, and Sorrel is almost exactly to her right. Peering over the head of the small boy from Nine, Nim nods her head at Sorrel twice. He does the same, then returns his laser-sharp vision to the center.

"6… 5… 4…."

They didn't make much of a plan for the bloodbath. As the fastest members of their rag-tag-army, Nim and Sorrel agreed they'd run straight into the center to grab as many supplies as possible. Meanwhile, Viscania, Yara, and Shae would try to find one another and fend off anybody who comes close to Nim and Sorrel.

"3… 2… 1…."

Nim's biggest fear is Azure, the One girl just two pedestals to the left. Hopefully, the Eleven girl who stands between them is who Azure will set her eyes on first. That, or she'll go for Yara, who's two left of her. Hopefully, the Eight girl's seven in training is enough to make her threatening without directly putting a target on her back. The Gamemakers claim that the pedestal order is randomly decided, but Nim sincerely doubts that. How things have been laid out now is too calculated to be a mere coincidence.

"Let the Fifty-Third Annual Hunger Games Begin!"

Nim dashes off of her platform and runs center. From her peripherals, she sees Azure tackling the Eleven girl to the ground, hands wrapped around her throat. Though the young girl's scream chills Nim to the bone, she's oddly relieved that it's not herself screaming instead.

That's messed up, Nim admits to herself, unable to think further as the center of the ship grows near. She ducks her head under a fallen piece of wood but eventually resorts to crawling on all fours so she can fit through the gap.

Luckily, Nim's able to stand once she's inside. She can now see the supplies, dozens of bags, and weapons inside and scattered around a large chest. Her first priority is grabbing the rope and some other weapon. Because Sorrel has greater physical strength, he's taken it upon himself to grab food and medical supplies.

She steps closer to the chest, eyes locked on a large coil of rope. As she reaches down to grab it, she feels somebody's hand on her shoulder. She shifts her vision to the left, immediately recognizing the ginger-haired boy as Cheney, Viscania's District Partner. She claimed that the two of them weren't close, that he came from a wealthier part of town, and that he threw a fit when the escort pulled his name from the Reaping bowl.

Still, Nim doesn't consider somebody's bad attitude grounds for murder. Cheney's grip tightens around her as he tries pushing him to the ground. Just because she doesn't want to kill him doesn't mean she's going to let him kill her.

Nim brings her hands behind her back, wrapping them around Cheney's wrist. Through gritted teeth, she pries the boy's fingers off her and runs a few feet ahead. She feels a heavy strike against her back and turns around to see Cheney again, his fingers now curled into a fist.

Nim sighs, then does the same, her thumb covering her other four fingers the way Crista taught her. She also said that the nose is the best place to punch somebody if she doesn't necessarily want to knock them out.

She covers her own nose with her left arm, then lifts her right hand to her side. When Cheney tries to punch Nim first, her left elbow sustains most of the blow. As the Seven boy wrings out his hand in discomfort, Nim bends her right arm and then jabs it toward Cheney's face.

"What the fuck!" she hears the Seven boy stammer, blood gushing out of his nose and onto his green tracksuit.

Before he has time to make a comeback, Nim bolts away. Luckily, the rope she wanted is still there, so Nim slings it over her shoulder. Underneath it is a knife which Nim grabs as well. She turns to see Sorrel holding several backpacks and a sword and asks him, "Do you need help carrying one of those?"

He nods, then tosses Nim a relatively light bag which she loops through one arm. Between her and the Cornucopia's exit, Minos from One is standing triumphantly over the body of the kid from Six, a sword wedged in his throat and his blood pooled beneath him.

Realizing it's probably best if she doesn't get too close to him, Nim begins looking for another way out of the ship. Blocking that one is the girl from Six who allied with the Careers, her knife dripping crimson, and the limp corpse of the Ten girl beside her.

Even if Six has already killed, she hasn't trained the same way Minos has, so she's probably a safer bet for Nim to cross by. She grips her knife firmly, as Yara taught her, just in case she has to draw blood, though she sincerely hopes she doesn't.

Once Nim's close by, the Six girl ducks and slashes against her ankles. Nim sharply inhales, trying to mask the pain of her skin coming loose and her blood running hot, then plunges her knife into Six's back. It does… absolutely nothing. Nim tries to stab again, but by that point, Six has sprung upward again, her head butting against Nim's chin and making her head swing back. Using her free hand, Nim grabs ahold of Six's ponytail and yanks it to the right. The girl shrieks, giving Nim enough time to move past her and out of the ship.

She only gets three meters far before the girl from Twelve grabs her by the waist. Though Nim tries to stand tall, cutting at Twelve's cheek with her knife, the girl doesn't budge. She garners all of her strength and pushes Nim over, her body collapsing against the black sand beneath her.

Nim tries to get up, but the Twelve girl traps her ankle to the ground with her foot. Twelve curls her fingers as Nim writhes and then brings them closer to Nim's throat.

Still, Nim tries to break free, only for the Twelve girl's eyes to bulge wide as her blood drips from behind her neck and onto the ground.

"You good?" Nim cranes her neck to see Sorrel standing behind the Twelve girl. He pulls his sword out of Twelve's neck and gently rests her body on the ground. "I should've left when you did, I'm sorry."

"No need to apologize," Nim says, brushing the black sand off her knees. "Thanks for the help; I appreciate it."

The same way she tried not to look at the bodies in the ship, Nim doesn't dare look at the Twelve girl's. If she does, she'll think too hard, her mind will begin to race too quickly, and she'll be forced to consider the possibility that her father could be just like them.

No. He can't be.

"Do you know where the others are?" Sorrel asks. He wipes his blade against his thigh while Nim looks around. She sees two girls running towards them and lets out a sigh of relief.

"Viscania! Yara!" Nim exclaims, handing the Eight girl her bag. Nim looks around again, then asks, "Do you know where my brother is?"

Shae said he'd do his best to meet them. He said he'd be strong, and he'd find Viscania and Yara no matter what. Even after their fight, Nim was sure that he actually would. Shae's never been the sort to break a promise.

"We haven't seen him," Yara says, her tone morose. "Trust me, we've been looking, but he's nowhere nearby."

Nim begins to shake, worried that Shae's already joined the pile of corpses she's trying to erase the memory of. "Alright, so that means we'll all look for him before we leave."

"I don't think that's the best idea," Viscania remarks.

Before Nim can ask why, she notices Minos and the Two girl crawling from underneath the ship and heading in their direction.

Nim sighs, gripping her knife until her knuckles are white. She insists, "We can't leave without him!"

"I don't think we have a choice," Sorrel says as the two Careers get closer to them. "We have to go now, Nim."

"So we're just going to leave my brother then?" She growls, eyes racing around in circles hoping they can find Shae. "What happened to us being a team?"

Yara pats Nim on the back. "He'd understand us leaving without him. I'm sure he'll find his way to us eventually."

Since when does she know what Shae thinks? Nim jerks to the side and furrows her brows. "We can't just leave him here when there are so many Careers. I'll go after him myself if that's what's necessary."

"That's asking to be killed," Sorrel responds. "We'll let you go, but understand it's your own suicide."

Nim pauses. She doesn't want to die. She really, really, really doesn't want to die, especially when there's a chance her father isn't out there. At the same time, though, she doesn't think it's fair for her to trade Shae's life away.

Then again, life isn't fair.

"I don't know," Nim stammers, her entire body convulsing. "What the hell am I supposed to do?"

As much as she wishes running to save him would be just like when he was caught in the big storm, Nim knows that's not the case. If she decides to look for Shae, she's risking her own life and his all the same. If she runs in to find somebody who could possibly be already dead, Nim's giving up her opportunity to avenge his demise.

As Minos and Two get even closer, Nim shouts, "I think I'll come with you guys."

Not allowing her to change her mind, Sorrel lifts Nim off the ground and carries her over his shoulder. As he runs away, Nim looks at the top of the ship, where she sees a flash of black hair falling to the ground and a girl raising her fist in the air.

Nim's not sure who she's watching, but for the sake of her mentality, she hopes it's one of the other boys with black hair, not Shae.

Because right now, Nim can't let herself think it's Shae. She can't let herself believe that she caused her brother's death by refusing to run and find him.

Nim bobbles up and down as Sorrel runs up a flight of stairs and onto a boardwalk. She wants to tell him, "I think I saw Shae," but she knows forcing them back to the ship just to find a dead man will just tick them off. Being selfish in the Games means fending for herself, not risking the lives of her allies for the sake of her own emotions.

(If it's him, Nim just wishes she had the chance to say goodbye.)

(She wishes he didn't have to go the same way her father did.)

Eight cannons fire off in a row, one for every life lost in the past ten minutes.

Nim's tears fall on the ground beneath her as she hopes and prays one wasn't for Shae.

Only one more cannon fired before the red skies turned maroon and the slate-gray sun sunk into the sky. Once again, Nim is left hoping it wasn't for Shae.

If it weren't for the circumstances, viewing such an unusual sunset from the mouth of a cave nestled atop a cliff would actually be nice. Back in Four, Nim watched sunsets with her father and Shae all the time. They'd climb up onto the roof with their feet dangling over the edge, watching with wide eyes as daylight's blue melted away into orange, then purple, then black.

Nim's always valued nature's beauty, and thus, she thought she might enjoy the arena if it was based on reality as opposed to last year's fantasy. Yet she feels uneasy here. Yes, she's outside, and yes, she can hear the mellow sound of the waves against the shore and the hungry rumbles of thunder from up above, but this isn't the world that Nim fell in love with. Instead, it's that world flipped on its head and upside down.

As a pastel pink moon rises into the sky, Nim finds herself counting her and her alliance's supplies yet again. Two knives, a long sword, a hand grenade I hope nobody has the audacity to touch, a nice spiked shield, a lighter, some rope, a first aid kit, and enough food to last us several days. Nim sighs. Everything's all here, just like it was the last time she checked and the time before that as well. Not that there's any reason why it wouldn't be…

If she had her way, Nim would go out and look for Shae. If her allies insisted, she'd have one of them accompany her as she traveled each and every inch of this damn arena, refusing to stop until she was with her brother once more. Alas, the injuries Nim sustained earlier from the girls from Six and Twelve have rendered her homebound for the night, her ankles wrapped with bandages and a now-melted ice pack on her ribs. She's not used to being incapacitated, nor does Nim like it much. Adrenaline may have gotten her out of the bloodbath without much pain, but now her ribs throb in agony at even the slightest movement.

As Panem's national anthem begins to play, Nim audibly sighs.

"What's wrong?" Viscania asks, kneeling on the stone floor beside her.

Nim rolls her eyes. "I'm going to give you one guess."

"Oh!" the Seven girl exclaims. "Shae. Obviously."

In just a few moments, the faces of those whose lives were lost today will be projected into the sky amongst the clouds. Nim will cross her fingers and do her best to avoid closing her eyes in hopes that she doesn't see Shae's visage amongst the damned.

"Whatever happens, just know we're all here for you," Viscania says. She waits a second, then gasps and adds, "I'm sorry. That probably wasn't very helpful, now was it?"

"You're fine," Nim replies.

These last couple of hours have rendered her quite jaded. Nim's used to spending long periods of time not knowing whether or not a loved one is dead or alive, but it's different here. Knowing that she'll get an answer today, whether she likes it or not, sickens Nim to her core, especially when there wasn't anything she could do to change the outcome.

Viscania repeats, "I'm sorry."

"You say that a lot," Nim remarks. "I promise; it's okay."

Or, more accurately, Nim's too busy worrying about other things to care about the Seven girl's slight social misstep.

When Panem's seal flashes in the sky, Nim can't stop herself from letting a guttural scream escape her lips. She buries her head inside her crossed arms and groans, "I don't want it!"

"Isn't it good that you're going to get an answer?" Yara asks, wedging her way in between Viscania and Nim. "Even if it's not the answer you want, at least now you don't have to wander around looking for him."

"No answer is better than proof he's dead," Nim scoffs, still refusing to look up at the sky.

(She's always wondered what she'd do if she found concrete evidence that her father died that day. After devoting so much of her life to searching for him, Nim isn't sure she'd be able to drop everything, go back home, and just stop. Perhaps it's always been more about the journey than the destination than she's given it credit for.)

"Nim, you should just look," Sorrel says from behind her. "If you want, we can all hold onto you while the faces go by; that way, you don't feel alone."

"You don't have to," she replies. "I'll just do it myself."

There's a fine line between being independent and being alone. It's one Nim's toed her entire life. She's able to find solace both in independence and solitude, but without her mobility, she's no longer free, and if Shae really is dead, she'll be tormented by his ghost until the end of her days.

The first face that shows is the boy from Two, which triggers a collective gasp. According to Crista, it's become increasingly common for a Career to fall victim to the bloodbath, but it's still rare enough that it's shocking when it happens.

"What do you think happened to him?" Nim asks, desperate to move the conversation away from what's possibly inevitable.

Yara shrugs. "Don't know, and chances are we'll never find out. Unless one of us wins and they show us during the recap, but even then, they'll probably only briefly show the bloodbath."

That's far more information than Nim was expecting, much less able to process during these trying times. Winning is an abstract concept; one Nim hasn't had the luxury of thinking about.

She crosses her fingers, hoping that the next face the sky displays is one of the kids from Five or a higher District, because that means Shae's still out there somewhere.

(It means she disappointed him.)

But of course, Nim can't be so lucky. The girl from Three is next to grace the cosmos. This time, Nim doesn't even bother commenting. Instead, she tucks in her achy legs against her chest, again hoping and praying for a kid from Five or higher. It feels wrong; valuing their lives less than Shae's, but it's not like Nim knows them. It's hard to sympathize with an event you didn't cause, considering a person you didn't know.

It's much easier when it's your brother in the sky, his eyes staring directly into yours like he's telling you, "It's your fault I'm up here and not next to you."

Hardly a second passes before Nim's tears slide off her cheeks and onto the ground. Yara wraps her arms around Nim and tucks her forehead on her shoulder. Viscania holds Nim from the other side, but neither of them says a word because, really, what is there for them to say?

Nothing that leaves their lips can bring Shae back, and really, that's all Nim wants. To see the hazel eyes he got from their father, the sheepish grin that curls on his lips whenever he's nervous; that's the one thing Nim can't ask for and the one thing she needs more than anything.

She should've done something more. She should've fought harder to get her allies to look for him.

(Whatever she did, it wouldn't have mattered. No matter how hard she could've fought, he'd still be dead.)

Nim writhes beneath her allies arms, not wanting the snot dripping from her nose to get on their jackets. She grunts, "Let me go."

"I won't, sorry," Yara says. "I understand you're upset, but I don't want you to do something impulsive."

Nim has no idea what the Eight girl's talking about. She has no idea what anything means in this world if she doesn't have Shae's warmth to look forward to when each day is done.

Again, Nim squirms. "I'm not going to do anything bad. I just don't want to get my snot on you."

"You can sneeze on me all you want," the Eight girl replies. "I want you to know I'm here for you and always will be."

"I appreciate it," Nim remarks.

There's not much else she can say. Viscania, Yara, and Sorrel are all lovely people, but their words mean nothing since they're not from Shae.

Nim doesn't even bother looking to see who else died today. She lost Shae, and that means her Games are already over.

All that's left to do is sit around until she loses herself just the same.

She's never felt this useless before.

Not only is Nim still sore from her bloodbath wounds, her skin feels taut against her face, and her eyes sting from shedding many a tear.

That's not even mentioning Nim's mental pain; gashes ripped open inside her mind that no amount of surgery and stitches could ever sew back together.

When she woke up a few hours ago, the first thing Nim did was look for Shae beside her. When he wasn't there, yesterday's reality crashed against her skin like waves on the sand and she was crying all over again.

A part of Nim feels like a burden. Nobody wants an ally who can hardly go twenty minutes without bursting into hysterics. Even though they've all confronted her and told her to take today to rest, Nim can't help but feel terrible. Then again, it's not like she'd even be too useful when she can't walk for more than five minutes before she wants to collapse.

At least Viscania makes good enough company. Or, more specifically, she hasn't said a word to Nim since Yara and Sorrel left to go hunting, and that's just the sort of company Nim needs right now.

(Really, she needs Shae's company. If only she savored it more when he was still alive.)

The sound of a cannon firing makes Nim audibly groan. Her first thought is, What if it's Shae? But then she remembers, Shae's cannon already fired, and she wasn't even there for him in his final moments. Nothing she can do in this world will ever make up for it.

"Are you okay?" Viscania asks, probably because Nim's groan was notably different than the other various noises of discomfort she's produced this morning.

Nim rolls her eyes. "Nope. I'm just as miserable as ever."

"I don't know why I asked," the Seven girl admits. "But hey, I'm here for you if you need somebody. We should probably put some more of that numbing cream on your ribs soon. It says on the label that it lasts all day, but really you'll only be good for another hour."

"How do you know that?" Nim asks. She's not too interested, to be completely honest, but she'll do anything to distract herself from the wars raging in her head.

"My parents run an apothecary!" Viscania enthuses and sits down next to Nim, both their backs against the cave wall. "They don't let me help, but I've picked up a decent amount of information from observing them."

"Why don't they let you help around?" Surely, the Seven girl wouldn't have added that detail if she didn't want it questioned.

Viscania sighs. "They tell me I'm useless and that I'll never be as good of a medic as them or my sister, so I might as well stop trying."

Nim doesn't know how to relate to Viscania's struggles. She always said she was lucky to have encouraging family around her but look where that got her. It's like life is determined to fuck everybody over no matter what circumstances they're born into.

"I think you're doing a great job," Nim tells her. "Really, I feel better today physically than I did yesterday."

"That could just be your body's natural healing process," Viscania points out. "There's no need for you to give me compliments. I know that I'm not actually good at any of this, or anything at all. You're allowed to tell me that I deserve to die. I'm sure you've thought it since you met me, and you're probably right."

Nim blinks. "I meant what I said, Viscania."

She doesn't really have the mental capacity to help the Seven girl with her struggles. She hardly has the mental capacity to speak.

"Are you sure?" Viscania asks, tears in her eyes.

Nim nods her head, then goes back to staring into space. It's far easier than acknowledging the sheer tragedy of her own existence.

She doesn't know how much time passes before Sorrel and Yara walk into the cave, the latter's shirt decorated with blood splatter.

Immediately, Nim shrieks, "Oh my lord, are you okay?"

Yara raises her brows. "Are you talking to me? Please, I'm more than fine."

"We took out the Five girl," Sorrel announces, placing a bloodied backpack on the ground. "Stole her food too!"

Something is jarring about their enthusiasm, especially when Nim lost somebody to bloodshed less than a day ago.

She decides she doesn't have much to lose, so it's best she speaks her mind. "You two don't need to be so proud about it, especially when you'd cuss out the Careers if they did something similar."

"Woah there," Sorrel says. "She attacked us first; I'll have you know."

"She sure did," Yara confirms. "I'm sure you'd kill too if it meant the difference between life and death."

Nim nods affirmatively even though she isn't sure what she'd do. It's not like she has a life that's worth living since she doesn't have Shae. Maybe if she were up against a Career, Nim'd be more willing to maim another, but that's solely because she's assuming that it was one of them that killed Shae.

Nim was used to living a life where there weren't any variables. She'd do the same thing every day, and she was happy like that. Now that so many factors change with every passing hour, she doesn't know what she's supposed to do.

By the next afternoon, Nim's well enough to leave the cave.

And so, she does, with Yara by her side and knives in both their hands. While trekking through the eerie woods, Nim admittedly feels the best she has since she learned Shae died, which, well, still isn't great, but at least it's better than before.

"So, why did you suggest the two of us go on a walk?" Nim was too excited to leave the cave; she never asked Yara.

"We're going hunting," the Eight girl explains, a devious smile lining her lips.

"Didn't you and Sorrel just go hunting yesterday?" Nim knows that the whole point of the Hunger Games is to kill others, but actively seeking people out feels a bit barbaric. That's what the Careers do, after all. Nim's pretty sure the whole point of their alliance is to combat the Careers, not be their mirror image.

"We did, yeah." Yara shrugs. "But that was yesterday, and today is today."

"What are we even looking for?" Nim says. Carefully, she steps over a fallen tree branch and sighs. "I assume the Careers."

"Precisely," the Eight girl replies. "There's four of us and four of them; if we could get an advantage now, it'd be ideal."

"But don't they also travel in pairs?" she questions Yara. "Do you really think the two of us could take two of them?"

"There's only one way to find out." Yara says with a wink.

Nim sighs. Sure, she appreciates Yara's willingness to be on top of their competition, but not if she's going to be so foolhardy about it. Haste is what gets people killed here.

Not long after, Nim hears a rustle in the nearby bushes. She groans, "Are you happy now?"

"What do you mean?" Yara's brows furrow.

Nim pauses and then waits for another rustle. "I think they're nearby."

A flash of brown hair confirms her theory.

"Are you—"

She grabs Yara's wrist and jerks her to the side, avoiding the arrow that flies from between the bush's twigs and into the tree behind them. Nim gasps for air, "Yes, Yara, I'm sure."

Yara grips her knife and barrels towards the bush. Instantly, Minos and Azure spring up, him with a sword and her with a bow and a quiver of arrows.

As Azure readies another arrow, Yara pushes her to the ground, leaving Nim to handle Minos. He doesn't flinch when she raises her knife, instead crossing his sword across his chest. Acting quickly, Nim jabs her sword in the spot on Minos' stomach that his sword isn't covering, but he blocks it with little effort.

Nim steps back, carefully considering her next move. Her eyes dart to Yara, who still has Azure pinned to the ground and is sinking her teeth into the One girl's wrist.

Dear lord, Nim thinks.

She shifts back to the tree and pulls out the arrow, only half sure what she's going to do with it. But she doesn't have time to question herself. She just has to go.

Nim darts towards Minos, holding the arrow in front of her when he swings his sword. It grazes against her thumb, but not enough to really hurt her. As Minos prepares to strike again, Nim aims the arrow at his chest. I don't need to hit him; I just need to—

She gently tosses the arrow against Minos' clavicle, startling him just like he planned. In that short moment of unfocus, Yara is able to drive her knife into his side, still keeping Azure on the floor.

Minos hunches over in pain, grabbing at his stomach as it begins to gush blood. "What the fuck!"

When Yara stabs him again before returning her focus to Azure, Minos drops his sword. That's enough to give Nim an entryway. Still, she doesn't know if she can do it.

But Yara's glaring daggers at Nim, like she expects her to do something. Nim isn't sure if she's capable of letting her down, especially when she's already let her family down.

Before Minos can retrieve his sword, Nim closes her eyes tight and drives her knife forward. When she feels it wedged against something, she opens her eyes, disgusted to find it wedged into Minos' chest.

"Man, fuck you," the One boy says, gasping for air as she retrieves her knife.

Nim can hear the evident pain in his voice, and even more than that, she can sense his fear. She flinches when his blood sputs onto her chest. Is he really afraid of me?

She hears a crack, then looks to see that Yara's somehow successfully snapped Azure's bow in half. The Eight girl looks up at Nim and says, "Don't be shy; quit edging and finish him."

Again, Nim's not sure she can. Seeing Minos so consumed by pain and knowing she's the reason why? It's too much to bear. She wonders, did Shae look this miserable when he finally succumbed to his fate? Was Minos the reason why he did?

But she notices Azure trying to reach for the knife, and survival instinct rushes in. Nim plunges her knife square into Minos' throat in one fluid motion.

He crumbles to the ground and convulses, Nim running away before she sees too much. She turns back once to see Yara following her, but neither girl says a word until a cannon roars.

"Excellent work, my friend," Yara says, bending over and dangling her arms above her feet.

Nim's still too shocked to reply, her heart racing a million miles an hour and beads of sweat rolling off her face.

The Eight girl continues, "It's a shame we didn't get the girl too, but hey, I'll take anything I can get at this point."

"Where is she?" Nim shudders. She's worried Azure's going to find them and kill them, claiming it's for the sake of avenging her friend that the two of them killed, that Nim delivered the final blow to but refused to stand by as he was consumed by horror.

"She ran off in the opposite direction."

Well, that's just fucking great, Nim muses. It means that Minos was all alone when he died, just like how Shae might've been. It means she's the villain in Minos' history now, and chances are his family hates her. They have every right to.

"What's wrong, Nim?" Yara asks as if it isn't fucking obvious; she just killed somebody, for Panem's sake.

Nim sighs. "I feel bad. That's all."

"Don't," the Eight girl says. "If you didn't do that, more than likely, he'd have killed you. For all you know, he's the bastard that killed your brother."

She grits her teeth and grunts, "Is that supposed to be helpful?"

"No clue," Yara remarks. "But the point is, you did it. And I'm proud of you."

"Proud of me?" Nim stammers. Why in the world anybody would be proud of her for killing someone.

Yara nods. "I sure am. You defended yourself; that's great."

The Eight girl continues to walk, prompting Nim to pipe up, "Hey, where are you going?"

"Back to the cave," she answers nonchalantly. "Azure has a basic idea of where we are now. We're going to have to tell the others and then move."

Once again, Nim sighs. If she hadn't agreed with Yara and gone hunting for Careers, this wouldn't have happened. And yet… there's something about the Eight girl that makes Nim never want to say "no."

They've been walking for hours and still have no idea where they'll settle next. All the four of them have seen is dead tree upon dead tree to the point where Nim's beginning to wonder if they're going in circles or if any of this is real at all.

When Minos' face is in the sky, and at a different angle than the faces Nim saw when they were back at the cave, it's concrete proof they've at least moved somewhere. It's also a harrowing reminder of what went on earlier today.

Nim's mind has been numb since she watched Minos collapse on the ground from her own manipulations. She doesn't know whether or not she should be sorry for killing him or angry that she let herself do the deed. Worse, she can't help but think about Shae and what he felt when he saw this happen from above. Was he just as afraid as Minos was when Nim pulled out her blade? Was he worried Nim was becoming a monster, relieved he died before she turned on him? Is Dad disappointed that one of the two people he loved most did something so cruel?

Every step is harder than the last. Even if Nim's not in physical pain, every muscle in her pathetic heart aches uncontrollably. She'd say she doesn't feel like herself, but more aptly, Nim doesn't feel like anyone at all. If Shae's a ghost, she's one too.

"You good?" Sorrel walks by her side and asks. "I mean, objectively, you're not, but you seemed way happier this morning, so I just wanted to check in with you. I'm here to talk if you need someone. I know Yara can be abrasive, and Viscania doesn't always understand things."

Yara? Abrasive? That's an understatement if Nim's ever heard one. Sorrel is a good sort of mellow, though. He definitely has grit to him, but he's chill and understanding at the same time. And he's killed twice now, so maybe he'll understand Nim's turmoil.

And so, she chooses to open up. "I know he was a Career, and he's killed at least a few innocent people, but I still feel bad for what I did to Minos."

Sorrel takes a moment to pause, fully taking in Nim's words. Finally, he says, "I understand why you're upset. We spend our whole lives being told that we're not supposed to kill people, and then we're thrown into a situation where we're supposed to just do it."

"Exactly that," Nim replies, glad to be understood by somebody in this damn place. "How did you do it without hesitation back in the bloodbath?"

"Well, one, I didn't want you to die," he begins. "And two, I've had, I guess… a bit of training?"

"You've what?" She raises her brows in shock. "But you're from Eleven, and you've talked quite the talk about hating the Careers."

"Oh, and believe me, I do," the Eleven boy says, guiding Nim through a narrow gap in the branches. "Back in Eleven, I met this guy who basically trains people for the Games. Not to volunteer, though, because lord knows the Capitol would be on our asses if a bunch of people in Eleven of all places started volunteering, lord knows they already are after that Chandler kid from a few years ago. Instead, he trains us so that if we're reaped, we're capable of doing whatever it takes to ensure no more loyalists win the Games. We were successful a few years back, too. My friend died so Haymitch could live, and he's stirring up a shitstorm even if it's unintentional."

"Oh," Nim remarks. His story is interesting, selfless even. It also scares Nim. Does he consider her a rebel? It's privileged, but she's never really thought about the Capitol's corruption other than acknowledging it's objectively bad. "And then I assume because I'm from Four but didn't volunteer, I've got to be different."

"I did, and you are," Sorrel intones. "But what I was getting to is basically, it's alright to feel upset and to wonder what Shae is thinking. My family back home was hesitant to see me involved in violent things, but they knew ultimately it's because I wanted to protect them. I want my little sister and my niece to have a bright future. Lord knows I'm already fucked."

"So what you're saying is, you think Shae would be alright with me killing somebody since it means I'm a step closer to going home, and that'd be honoring his memory," Nim asks for clarification, but she thinks she gets it.

Sorrel nods. "Exactly that, Nim. Keep your chin up; it's going to be alright."

That's a big ask. These past three days have had more happen than the eighteen years that preceded them, except for maybe the day Dad left. She's not used to everything happening so fast. She's not used to her hold on the world slipping out of her hands like sand on the beach.

About half an hour later, Yara pauses in front of a creaky building with two stories and announces to the group, "Stop!"

The vibes of this place are immediately off. Yes, it's shelter, but the wooden sign in front of the house is hanging on by a single nail, and Nim can see broken floorboards through the slightly cracked open door. The windows are shattered, and there are cobwebs on the wall, the whole place reeking of danger. Not to mention, the building is abnormally large, enough so that somebody could easily get lost if they aren't careful, and Nim doesn't want that person to be her.

"What do you mean, stop?" Viscania asks. "You can't actually mean that you want us to settle down here."

Yara crosses her arms. "That's exactly what I mean. Sure it's a bit of a fixer-upper, but it's better than camping out in the middle of the forest."

"You've got to be kidding me," Viscania scoffs. "This place is clearly fucking haunted. I mean, look at it."

As the Seven girl gestures to the hardly-hanging sign, it falls to the ground. "Yep, it's haunted."

"Or you're just a little pussy bitch," Yara sneers. "It's just a building; I promise it won't hurt you."

"You can't guarantee that," Viscania shouts. She walks over to the building's door and pushes it open, producing a shrill creaking noise. "How could you possibly tell me that this isn't haunted?"

Yara walks through the door, gesturing for Nim and Sorrel to follow her. When they first walk in, there's a fallen bookshelf that's been snapped in two, a bunch of torn travel manuals lying on the ground. On the walls, pictures of palm trees are peeling from the corners, and the one sofa has stuffing coming out of a hole. From one of the broken windows, Nim can see the beach where their time in the arena started, the water crashing against the sand.

"It's not," Yara insists. She walks over to the couch and sits down. When nothing happens, she laughs and says, "See? I'm perfectly fine."

"What is you sitting on a couch supposed to prove?" Viscania asks, annoyed still. "This place is huge, Yara. I didn't realize you were fucking stupid."

"I am not!" the Eight girl grunts.

Nim isn't sure whether or not this place is safe. Yes, the condition is shoddy, but that could purely be to fit with the arena's decrepit aesthetic. It's also a place to rest, even if it's just for the night.

Before Viscania can fire back, Sorrel steps in between them. "You two, knock it off, please."

"But you agree, right?" Yara asks. "You think Viscania is being a fucking coward, and this place is perfectly fine?"

"I think you both make fair points," the Eleven boy answers. "How about this: we'll stay here for tonight and then walk around tomorrow. If we see anything that's incredibly worrying, we leave. Does that sound alright."

Viscania shudders. "That's fine… I guess."

Yara doesn't even bother answering, instead turning her head over on the other side of the couch.

And that leaves Nim in a room full of people, but still so incredibly alone.

(She doesn't realize that she really isn't.)

Nim doesn't like the feeling of nervousness that's swirling in her stomach as Yara takes her to explore the building's second floor the following day. Worse, Nim's unsure what exactly she's nervous about. Well, there's a lot that Nim's worried about, as is expected in the arena, but she doesn't know if she's more afraid of the haunted house or the girl standing next to her.

The last time she and Yara were alone, Nim killed someone, which goes against all of her values. Last night, Yara yelled at Viscania so loud, she thought she'd been possessed. Nim knows that Viscania's been through a lot of hardships, and even if Yara doesn't know that, that doesn't mean she gets a free pass to be so unkind to her when she was uncomfortable and afraid.

As Yara leads Nim up a set of creaking stairs, Nim realizes she should probably tell the other girl how she feels. She doesn't want to create an aura of distrust between her alliance, especially since she no longer has Shae to fall back on if things get rough. There's always the option of going solo, but Nim'd truthfully prefer not doing that. Anything is better than being alone in the same space as the demons running rampant in her head.

When they get to the top of the staircase, Nim taps Yara on the shoulder. "Hey, wait up!"

"Is everything okay?" The Eight girl turns, light from a hole in the ceiling, making her hair and skin glow. It's almost impossible to be mad at her now, especially when her blue eyes stare right into Nim's, and the smile on her face has a childlike innocence.

No. You need to talk to her. Nim sighs, then begins speaking, her voice quivering, "I wanted to talk about some of the things you did yesterday because I was really upset, and I think it'd be best if we spoke about it."

"Oh?" Yara's brow quirks, naive to everything Nim wants to say.

"I didn't like how you talked to me after our run-in with Azure and Minos," Nim says. "I was clearly really frazzled because I haven't killed anybody before, and you didn't give me space when that was obviously what I needed."

"I'm sorry," the Eight girl replies. Nim can't tell if she's being genuine or not, and that worries her, even if she doesn't want to be made uneasy by her own ally, much less by Yara. "I didn't realize you'd be so apprehensive. I thought maybe you'd seen some things when you were living in Four and wouldn't be so turned off to violence, but sometimes I forget not every place is as rough as Eight's slums. I shouldn't have made that assumption; I'm sorry."

Nim tilts her head in confusion. How could she possibly even consider that Four and Eight are at all similar? They're home to completely different industries and located on entirely different sides of the country. Still, there's a part of Nim that feels bad for her. She can only imagine what it'd be like to grow up in instability and what that does to a person. Lord, maybe Nim's being an asshole here; perhaps she should stop being judgemental because she grew up happy, and Yara clearly didn't.

"You're fine," Nim says, even though Yara's not fine; she's just stuck in her head once more. Remembering there's more that she needs to talk about, she adds, "I also didn't like how you talked to Viscania yesterday. She was clearly upset, and you did very little to soothe that. Instead, you were mean to her and possibly created a rift between our group."

"I didn't mean to," Yara replies flatly this time. "I've been working on controlling my emotions, but sometimes they get the best of me. I hope you understand, but if not, that's cool too. Everyone who gets close to me gets hurt in some capacity, so if you want to leave while you still can, I'd suggest it."

Nim sighs. She's not sure what's going on, and a part of her feels bad for even bringing this shit up with Yara, who's clearly so misunderstood and lost that she doesn't know what to do. Since when has Nim become so emotional? She's always prided herself on being brave. She's the girl who dances in storms instead of cowering in fear, after all. Is it because without Shae, she's lost her anchor, and now she's flying around free without anywhere to go?

"I'll stay," Nim tells Yara. "I promise I'll stay."

Because lord knows the Eight girl doesn't need somebody else who'll just leave her without batting an eye, because Nim's assuming that's what happens. Nim shouldn't be the sort of person who's rendered useless by turbulence.

She waits for Yara to respond, but she's staring at a hole in the wall, seemingly infatuated by it.

"What are you looking at?" Nim asks, her voice a mere whisper.

Nim looks in the same direction as Yara, hardly able to make a sound as a slimy black tentacle crawls up the wall.

"What the fuck is that?" Instinctively, Nim raises her spiked shield over her eyes and grabs onto Yara's hand.

The Eight girl squeezes back, her fingers intertwined with Nim's. She raises her sword and whispers, "I have no fucking idea…."

Yara walks and extends her arm, the sword's tip poking through the tentacle's skin. Nim shouts, "What the fuck are you doing?"

"Killing it," Yara replies. With both hands on the sword's handle, she tears through its flesh, a sticky green substance spraying onto her and Nim.

Nim shudders in disbelief. "Thanks?"

As she moves her hand away from Yara's, some of the goop drips onto the ground. It takes everything in her not to gag.

Yara chuckles. "Maybe Viscania was right about this place. Do you hear anything else?"

Nim pauses, pleased that she doesn't hear the sound of tentacles making… whatever sound tentacles make. No, luckily, the room's quiet as a mouse.

"I don't," she whispers. "And you?"

"Me neither," Yara replies. "I think that means we're safe to stay here."

Nim nods, but her heart tells her she's lying.

After thirty-six hours, the only excitement in the building comes in the form of a cannon.

As the four of them gather on the second floor, peering out of a hole in the roof to see whose it was, Nim feels dangerously at ease. Perhaps her panic from the past few days was uncalled for. She knows that she can't get too comfortable in the arena of all places, but having this break in the action is nice.

"Oh," Viscania mumbles, pointing upward at the face in the sky. "It's Cheney…"

Nim's heart drops. She remembers when the Seven boy attacked her in the bloodbath and how she was forced to throw him off her. She can't help but wonder, if she hadn't done that, would he be alive now?

Even if Viscania said he was a nuisance, just like Minos, Cheney was human. And Nim could possibly have a part in why he's no longer as so. It hurts to think about.

"I'm sorry." Nevertheless, Nim apologizes to her ally since it just feels like the right thing for her to do.

"It's fine," Viscania replies, unbothered. "It sucks that the only piece of home I have left is dead, but what can I do about it? He was an ass anyway."

"I sort of felt the same way about Rosalind," Sorrel chimes in. "Not that she was an ass; she was actually a sweet kid, just a bit pathetic. She was from home, though, and now there's a chance she's the last person from Eleven I'll have ever interacted with."

Both Yara and Nim nod because there's not much else they can add to the conversation. Indigo, Yara's partner, is still alive, and according to her, they're somewhat insane, so she won't really miss him when they're dead. Nim, on the other hand? Yeah…

"I just hope he wasn't in pain," Viscania says with a sigh. "That's all I can hope for at this point."

Nim nods and runs her hand down the Seven girl's back to soothe her. "I hope so too, for everybody's sake."

Even though it's been five days since the bloodbath, Nim still feels like some of Cheney's blood is on her hands. She knows that she hardly hit him, but still, it was probably hard for him to breathe with a broken nose, so maybe that means he died too fast to get any help. Sure, Nim didn't directly cause the Seven boy's death, but accelerating it is a sin.

A wave of silence washes over the group, one Nim's grown comfortable with. Even though she's barely known these people for a week, she feels comfortable with them, and that's got to be worth something.

"Fuck…" Not long passes before Nim feels the ground rumbling beneath her. "Did you guys feel that too?"

Yara springs up from the ground. "Yeah, um… what the fuck was that?"

Be brave. Nim reminds herself. You have to be brave. She stands up, her vision a bit blurry from shaking around. She squats, keeping a firm stance on the ground, then calls to Sorrel and Viscania, "You two get up! We need to go!"

Before Sorrel can move, the drywall behind him begins to crumble. Viscania shrieks as a slimy tentacle, similar to the one from yesterday, appears from the gap. Sorrel stammers, "What the fuck?"

More of the drywall tears apart, another tentacle from beneath. As Viscania tries to run to Yara and Nim, it wraps around her waist and lifts her in the air. The scream that leaves her lips is visceral and atrocious, chilling Nim's nervous system straight to the bone.

Nim shouts, "Sorrel! Get over here!"

But, before he can, the first tentacle grabs him like the other did Viscania. He screams too, something Nim's never heard from him. She shivers, crouching down behind Yara's tall figure.

The Eight girl looks down at her and says, "What? Do you think I can do something? We need to go."

They can't. Nim knows that Viscania and Sorrel will die if she and Yara can't kill whatever thing has captured them. She glances at Yara, fiddling with the door handle of their room, but it doesn't budge. The Eight girl shrieks, "What the fuck!"

As Nim grabs the sword from the ground, two more tentacles wrap around Sorrel and Viscania's ankles. She gulps as the beast fully reveals itself, the wall in front of it crumbling into dust.

Even with a full view of it, Nim isn't quite sure of what it is. It looks like a girl, that much she can tell, but she has at least eight tentacles instead of arms and legs, and her entire body is covered in burns. When Nim makes eye contact with it, its blue eyes seem to burn a hole in her heart.

Now Yara's the one trembling, her voice shaking as she holds on for dear life. Nim's never seen Yara afraid. If she's so horrified, what does that mean for Nim? Again, she tells herself, Be strong, Nim. Be brave!

"I've got this," She says to Yara, raising the sword with both her hands. Her knuckles are white, and her palms are sweating, but Nim can't back down, not now of all times. She aims at the tentacle closest to her, the one wrapped around Sorrel's legs. After taking a deep breath, Nim slices through the appendage, relieved when the same green substance as yesterday splashes on her and Sorrel.

Before she can aim for a new tentacle, the monster pushes Nim away, her sword flying away from her. The limb she's just severed grows back at rapid speed, both Nim and Yara screaming as it takes its place around Sorrel's ankles once more.

Nim shudders. "If it's just going to regrow its limbs, what the fuck are we supposed to do?"

"The hell if I know," Yara spits out.

Viscania continues to scream, none of the words out of her mouth comprehensible by any means. Her noise seems to anger the monster, more tentacles linking around her. Sorrel digs his hand in his pocket and shouts, "The lighter's in here. Do you think maybe we can burn it?"

As the small red device flies onto the ground, another tentacle wraps around Sorrel's mouth, his head jerking side to side. Nim rushes towards it, but right as she gets a good grip on it, a tentacle wraps around her waist, and she's in the air just like her allies. She isn't sure what the noise that leaves her mouth is, but it's throaty and full of fear. As the monster squeezes her tighter and tighter, bile rises in Nim's throat. She spits, but her mucus blends in with the slimy substance on the monster's appendage.

Nim screams, "Yara!" and then drops the lighter to the ground. She cranes her neck to see the Eight girl still cowered in fear and rolls her eyes. Of course, she talks the talk but can't walk the walk.

The monster continues to squeeze her and the others, but Yara still doesn't move. Again, Nim begs her, "Please! We're all going to die!"

Yara finally barrels towards the monster, sliding on the ground to pick up the lighter with ease, her face a gnarly shade of red. She smirks and then presses down the fuel button, a small flame protruding from the device. She presses it against the tentacle around Sorrel's ankle, its gray flesh charring as it flakes away from the rest of the appendage. When one threatens to wrap Yara, she points the tentacle at it, and it backs off.

She continues burning away the tentacle until it's completely gone and then waits a moment to see whether or not it will grow back. When it doesn't, Yara pumps her fist in the air victoriously. Nim watches her smirk and then touches the flame to the sword's blade. Smart girl.

As Sorrel wiggles his newly freed legs, Viscania's shouting morphs into a gurgling noise, vomit funneling out of her mouth and onto the tentacle in front of her. Nim turns away, decently disgusted, and watches as Yara cleanly severs the other tentacles holding Sorrel in the air.

He falls a few feet to the ground and sighs. "Thank the lord."

Taking deep breaths between every syllable, he tells Yara, "Free Nim next. She on-ly has… one tent-a-cle."

Yara nods. Nim tries to squirm out of the monster's grip as the Eight girl heats her blade, but it just makes for a tighter grip. She watches as another tentacle tries to wrap around her, but Yara blocks the strike and frees Nim with a single movement.

Nim falls onto the ground, that first breath of air feeling better than anything she's ever experienced. Even though her chest feels like it's caving in on itself, Nim somehow feels better than she did.

Viscania's sounds have been reduced to mere mumbles, the monster twisting her body as her bones crack and crunch. The fear in her eyes is unlike anything Nim's ever said, but still she tells the Seven girl, "Don't worry! I'm going to free you."

She grabs the lighter and sword from Yara and holds the two together. Once the blade's slightly red up top, Nim charges towards the monster, the cry of a warrior leaving her lips in pure fucking agony. From her peripherals, she sees Viscania struggling, her face a deep shade of purple and her eyes beginning to roll over.

Blood leaks out of Viscania's eyes and rolls down her cheeks, but Nim pays it no mind. Instead, she once again assures her ally, "You're going to be fine."

Her sword makes contact with the monster's burnt flesh, the smell of gasoline spraying in the air as the sticky green substance splatters onto Nim and the others like it's coming from a water balloon. Nim grinds her teeth and pushes down on the blade, more putrid scents filling her lungs until the wretched thing finally collapses onto the ground.

Immediately, Nim runs over to Viscania and cradles her in her arms. Somehow she's even more sickly in appearance than when she was in the air.

But a cannon hasn't rung yet, meaning Viscania's still alive. It means Nim still has a chance to save her. She brushes the tentacles away from the Seven girl's chest and puts her ear on her heart, pleased to hear traces of a heartbeat.

Sorrel and Yara rush beside them, the latter asking Viscania, "Can you say something? Viscania, can you say something?"

When she opens her mouth, a mixture of bile and blood slides down her chin and neck. She coughs out, "I don't want to die."

"I don't want you to die either," Nim says, tears in her eyes.

Viscania continues to convulse. "I never wanted to die."

Nim pushes down on her chest, trying to see if she can do anything to save her. Yara pries open her jaw, and Sorrel pushes air into her throat.

Still, Viscania struggles to breathe. She closes her eyes and stammers, "Thank you… for being my friend."

She falls limp, and a cannon fires.

Nim steps away from her body and exchanges mournful glances between Sorrel and Yara. She falls to the ground and screams, Viscania's face morphing with Shae's in her mind. As her throat goes hoarse and Sorrel and Yara stand by her side, Nim closes her eyes and descends into darkness.

She crosses her fingers and hopes she doesn't wake up again.

To her unamusement, another day comes. Sleep came so easy, Nim thought for sure she was dead, but reality sank into her skin in the form of a burning smell.

Her eyes snap open, Yara and Sorrel still asleep beside her. The remnants of last night's catastrophe —dried tentacles, goop stuck to the floor, a bloodstain where Viscania's body was before a helecraft presumedly lifted it— are scattered on the ground. Though her allies look peaceful for the first time in forever, Nim knows she has to wake them up. Even if she's a child of the sea, Nim knows that fire is not to be played with.

She jolts Yara first, her lithe figure easy to lift. "Wake up! Yara, Wake up!"

The Eight girl yawns. "What the fuck Nim; why did you wake me up?"

"Do you not smell that?" she asks, moving over to Sorrel and shaking him as well. "Sorrel, it's time to get up!"

"Oh shit!" Yara's nose twitches. "Yeah, let's get the fuck out of here." She prods Sorrel's stomach. "Wake up, idiot! Do you want to die?"

His eyes flicker open and then shut. "What the fuck's going on?"

"Fire," Nim says flatly. "We need to grab as much as possible and then leave."

She drapes the rope beside her over her shoulder and grabs a knife. Yara outfits her left arm with the spiked shield and holds a sword as well. Meanwhile, Sorrel grabs as much food as he can, the first aid kit, and the sword and begins to run.

He turns back to the girls and waves his hand over his head, "C'mon, guys! Let's get a move on."

But it's hard for Nim to move, every breath stinging in her lungs and every step making her wobble. Sorrel seems to have the same problem, stopping at the stair post and hunching over to take deep breaths.

"Rib pain?" Nim asks, hoping he can sympathize.

Sorrel sighs. "Or something like that, yeah."

Meanwhile, Yara rushes ahead of them, Sorrel having to yell "Stop!" so she doesn't trek too far.

By the time Nim's reached where Sorrel is standing, the Eight girl is at the foot of the stairs, a confident expression on her face and her hands on her hips.

"Grab onto me," Sorrel says to Nim. She does so immediately, and the two of them hobble down the stairs, taking deep breaths every fifteen seconds.

When they're halfway down, Yara shrieks. "You two best be careful up there?"

"What do you—" Nim begins to ask, but before she can finish her question, she notices flames climbing up the wall next to her and Sorrel. "Oh; what the fuck!"

"We're going to be fine," Sorrel assures her, even though Nim can tell he's in as much pain as she is, possibly more.

There's something that's distinctly alive about the fire. Not in the sense that it can talk or anything, but there's definitely somebody behind it. Based on Yara's angry posture as she stands in the doorway, that person's about to get pounced on.

By the time Nim and Sorrel are on the first floor, the flames from the wall have spread to the ground. Shades of red and orange threaten to chase them, Nim and Sorrel sprinting towards the door, doing their best to ignore their agonizing pain.

Once she's outside, Nim stares at the building behind her, the creaky walls she called a temporary home slowly being engulfed by the flames. She grabs onto Sorrel's upper arm once more and asks loudly, "Where the fuck is Yara?"

Her question answers itself in the form of a visceral scream. Nim and Sorrel amble around the side of the building, catching a glimpse of Yara, Indigo, and the boy from Twelve.

The two of them laugh profusely as they force Yara to step back towards the fire, her shield covering her face. Nim shouts, her voice raw, "You two better stay the fuck away from her!"

Indigo cranes their neck, scoffing once he sees Sorrel and Nim. She rolls her eyes and mocks them. "How are you going to save your ally when you're limping around?"

"Do you just want our supplies or something?" Sorrel asks, ignoring their pestering. Meanwhile, Twelve pushes Yara further toward the flames. She twists her torso, so only one of her arms is nearing the inferno.

"We'd like your lives too," Indigo cackles. "You're allowed to beg for salvation all you want, but it's not going to work."

As the flames consume Yara's arms, she thrusts her body forward, the spikes on her shield colliding with Twelve's chest and leaving him stunned. She kicks her District partner in the groin, then bolts toward Sorrel and Nim.

"Why didn't you kill them?" Sorrel raises his brows in shock.

Yara nods. "There's no need. I left the grenade upstairs because I couldn't carry it. Soon the flames will reach it, and… yeah."

Nim smiles, grateful that she won't have to look death in the eyes for the umpteenth time. She tries to grab onto Yara so the three of them can venture off, but the Eight girl flinches.

"Fuck!" She shrieks. "God, what the fuck happened to my arm?"

As they hobble away, Yara attempts to take off her jacket, unfortunately realizing that it's melted into her flesh. "It's stuck!"

Sorrel grabs her sleeve and rips hard, freeing Yara's limb but consequently revealing a gnarly orange scar, yellow puss forming bubbles, and skin flaking onto the ground.

It makes Nim want to hurl, but again, they have to move. If the building really is about to explode, they need to be as far away as possible.

She looks back and sees Indigo and the Twelve boy talking, seemingly having accepted that they won't be killing Yara or anybody else today. Nim sighs in relief. At least one thing has been going somewhat right since yesterday.

Ten minutes later, two cannons fire, and Nim can't help but smile.

The group continues to walk, various noises leaving their lips as the pain from their various injuries consumes them. It's clear that Yara's the worst off, though, her mangled arm continuing to wither away, pink chunks of flesh falling to the floor like sliced turkey.

Sorrel looks at her injury and gasps. "Yeah… we're going to need to get rid of that when we find somebody to settle."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Yara asks.

"It means we're going to have to amputate it," Sorrel says, far too nonchalant about the matter.

Nim's stomach churns. For once, her struggles feel minimal in comparison. For once, Nim doesn't care.

By the time they've found a place to settle, the sun is already beginning to set. It's not the most luxurious of dwellings, just an abandoned restaurant with bright painted walls and checkerboard ceramic floors. The biggest benefit is the seating booths, where Yara sits upright, her decaying arm resting on the table.

Nim paces back and forth as Sorrel lays out supplies from the first aid kit and sharpens his sword against a metal stool. He sighs, "Hopefully, this is sharp enough that it'll do the trick."

"The fuck you mean, 'close enough?'" Yara scoffs. "You better amputate my arm with something that's actually going to do a good job."

"In case you didn't realize, it's going to hurt like a bitch no matter what," Sorrel replies.

Nim looks at the scattered medical supplies, hoping she'll find something that can numb the pain. Immediately, she feels guilty for using the cream to soothe her rib pain from the bloodbath. It could've helped Yara now, and yet…

"Don't you have something to numb it?" Yara asks.

Nim continues to search for something helpful. Unfortunately, she's shit out of luck. She grunts. "I looked, but there's nothing."

"I think I'll just keep my arm then," the Eight girl declares, wincing in agony.

"Yeah, sure you will, Yara." Sorrel chuckles. Nim steals another glance at her arm, the white of one of her bones now exposed to the air as more skin falls. The Eleven boy continues, "I don't think you have a choice at this point."

As the two continue yapping, a whistling sound fills Nim's ears. She feels something plop onto the ground and slowly heads towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Sorrel asks. "If you're abandoning us, you sure did pick an inconvenient time, my friend."

"I heard something," Nim replies. "And I don't think it was dangerous either."

As she opens the door, bells above her head jingle. When she sees what's on the doorstep, Nim nearly jumps for joy. There are two packages, one small and one large, and both labeled with the number 4."

That can only mean one thing; sponsors.

(Is it wrong that Nim doesn't think she deserves sponsors? After everything that's happened, she doesn't understand why anybody would see anything good in her. All she's done is stand around and wait for her allies to die. Maybe she killed that Career and maimed the monster that killed Viscania, but surely that's nothing compared to her competition.)

She lifts the packages and limps through the door. "We've got mail, my friends."

Nim plops them on a table and begins to tear through the wrapping. Inside of the smaller package is a syringe with a clear liquid inside. She holds it up and says, "Well, Yara, it seems today's your lucky day."

"Yep, that's the good stuff," Yara enthuses as Nim brings the needle closer to her so she can get a better look. "Morphling, if you didn't know. It does wonders for numbing."

"You really think Straightedge van Amstel would know?" Sorrel cackles. "I mean, I wouldn't know either. I'm too poor for that shit."

"And you think I'm not?" Yara sneers. "Back in the day, I'd just steal that shit."

Nim giggles, restraining herself from fully laughing because she knows she's not the joke's target audience. With a sigh, she tears through the wrapping for the second package, revealing a large saw with a rigged edge. She sets it down in front of Sorrel. "I believe this is for you, sir."

"Oh, that's sick!" He exclaims, examining the tool. "Yeah, probably way safer than using the sword on her."

"But you were going to anyway?" Yara shouts. "Man, fuck you!"

"Had no other choice," Sorrel remarks. He sits at the booth across from Yara and picks up the morphling syringe. After pulling back the top of Yara's sleeve, he takes the cap off the needle and delicately presses it into the most solid piece of her flesh that he can find. "Stay still," he instructs.

"This tickles!" Of course, Yara does the exact opposite of that, flinching as Sorrel pushes down on the syringe. "I guess it's been a while."

Nim's heart pangs. Based on where she's from and the tiny bumps up and down her arms, Nim had a feeling that Yara had abused substances in the past. Hearing it directly doesn't make it hurt any less. At least it explains, though, why she's so chaotic, for lack of a better word.

"I can't feel my fucking arm," the Eight girl says, moments after Sorrel dislodged the needle.

He rolls his eyes. "That's kind of the point."

His fingers find the saw's handle, so Nim decides it'd be best if she turns away. She hears a mix of Yara's nervous laughter and her bone being carved but, again, doesn't dare look.

The sound of bells ringing snaps her head out of the clouds.

Nim jolts her head to the door to see the girl from Nine standing exhausted, a knife in her hand. "I finally found you!"

"And why's that important?" Nim asks, lifting the sword from the counter just in case a conflict arises. She hasn't seen the Nine girl since the bloodbath, nor has she ever really thought about her, so more than anything, she's confused.

Nine points at Sorrel and scowls, Nim darting her eyes to see him still sawing away at Yara, her mangled arm beginning to fall. "Don't think I've forgotten about what you did."

"Go back to Yara; I'll handle this," Nim whispers to the Eleven boy. She steps in front of him and locks eyes with Nine. "What did he do?"

"Not much," Nine deadpans. She raises her knife, making Nim cover her face with her sword in defense. "He just killed my allies. That's all."

Nim thinks back on Sorrel's actions in the Games. First, there was the girl from Twelve who tried attacking Nim, and then there was the Five girl who went after him and Yara. Unless there's something, he didn't tell Nim, which she sincerely doubts, Nine was allies with the two of them. Nim does vaguely remember a group of three girls training together.

Lord, even if it was just a week ago, training might as well have been years in the past. So much has changed since then, and so many things will never again be the same.

But Nim doesn't have time to reminisce now. Instead, she jousts her sword, pushing Nine away until they're far enough away from the surgery area.

Nim crawls onto one of the tables and warns the Nine girl. "I'll give you thirty seconds to run away—"

"Just kill her," Yara shouts. Nim tries not to think much of it because, undoubtedly, the pain she's in is affecting her thoughts.

"—Before I strike," she continues. It's only fair to give Nine an opportunity since Nim has the upper hand here. Unlike with the fight against Minos, Nim has a chance to be in control here, and that somewhat feels wrong.

But Nine doesn't answer, instead trying to plunge her knife into Nim's calves. Using her sword, Nim easily blocks it, pushing the knife blade away.

"I'll take that as a no then," Nim muses, hopping back onto the ground and raising her weapon in front of her face. "Don't say I didn't warn you."

Nim knows it isn't right of her to edge Nine on like this, but she's the one who's being stupid enough to partake in a fight when she was given the opportunity to run. Sure, Nim's untrained, but Nine doesn't know that. All she knows is that Nim's from Four.

She swings her blade to the left, brushing up against Nine's hip. She recoils, then tries to attack Nim with the knife once more. She jumps back and avoids it, easy enough since the knife blade is so short.

Nim raises her sword in the air, making Nine think she's going to swipe downwards. Once the girl lifts her knife, Nim quickly slices to the right, tearing through Nine's jacket and shirt, blood clotting around the wound.

Before Nine has time to recover, Nim wedges her sword deeper into the incision, pushing the girl onto the ground as she screams in terror.

In the background, she hears Yara say, "Good lord, is Nim actually killing somebody?"

"Don't talk," Sorrel responds. "We're almost done."

As the Nine girl squirms, Nim wonders, What exactly does Yara mean?

Nim's killed before, but yes, this time is different. This time, Nim's in control, and it makes her feel sick. But what else was she supposed to do? If she let Nine attack Yara or Sorrel, Nim would be all alone. If she didn't fight back, she'd be dead. If she were dead, then Shae would've died for nothing, and there'd be no chance in hell of her ever seeing her father again.

Using the tip of the blade, she slits Nine's throat. The kindest thing she can do now is let her die easy. As her blood melts into the floor, Nim turns around, pleased to see that Sorrel's wrapping where he cut off Yara's arm. Said arm is resting on Yara's lap, as disgusting and infected as ever.

When Nine's cannon sounds, Nim sighs in relief. "Now that could've been bad."

"But it wasn't," Sorrel says, clearly pleased. "You did very well. I'm impressed and proud of you."

He picks up Yara's arm, the Eight girl shouting, "What the fuck?" as he throws it on top of Nine's body.

"Why'd you have to do that?" Yara sneers. "Weren't we going to drag the body outside so the hovercraft could get it anyway?"

"It's been a long day for all of us," Nim says. "Give the guy a break."

Yara nods. "I'm sorry."

Nim steps closer to her, observing Sorrel's work with his amputation. The stump next to her shoulder is neatly covered, and there's only a little bit of blood that hasn't been cleaned off of the table. "You did pretty good with that. I'm impressed."

"Thanks," Sorrel intones with a sheepish shrug. "I had to do that all the time in Eleven. The first was when my father got into an incident with a tractor, and it was clear he'd die of blood loss if I didn't get rid of his arm."

"Impressive," Nim remarks.

Yet again, she's reminded of how good she's had it. Yet again, she's forced to realize that as good of a life as she's had up until now, there was never a chance of her not being miserable.

She sits down at the booth next to Sorrel and Yara's and sighs. "I don't think I've ever been this tired in my entire life."

Her ribs still ache, and her legs still feel weak, but there's still plenty of Games to go, it seems. Nim can't back down now if she wants to make it to the end.

She rapidly blinks, hoping it'll make her eyes grow heavy and she'll be able to sleep. She's almost completely drifted away when a loud voice booms.

"Tributes," Caesar's voice roars. "Congratulations on surviving nearly a week in the arena and making it to the top eight! To celebrate, we'll be throwing a feast at the Cornucopia in about twelve hours. I can only hope that you'll all be in attendance."

When morning comes, Nim insists, "We have to go to the feast."

"Fuck no," Yara says. She tries to slam her fist on the table but quickly realizes the fist she wanted to slam no longer exists. "Are you trying to get us killed?"

"No, actually," Nim replies. She stands behind the counter and digs through the alliance's supply packs, groaning at everything she doesn't find. "We hardly have any food or water left. Something tells me, the feast is the only way we're going to get more."

"But I can't fight," the Eight girl argues. "What the hell am I supposed to do at the feast?"

"Stay here," Sorrel instructs her. He puts a knife on the table beside Yara and pats her on the back. "If anybody comes, you can use this, but something tells me, anyone you'd have trouble with potentially is going to be at the feast."

"You guys suck," Yara scoffs, but Nim can tell she's just being dramatic. She knows what it was like to be out of commission, so she definitely sympathizes with her.

Sorrel's probably right, though. Anybody who would be a problem to them is going to be at the feast, not attacking Yara. Nim did the math earlier this morning. Besides them, three, the only Tributes left are Azure, the girl from Two, the boy from Three, the boy from Five, and the girl from Six. Sure, that'd be three members of the Career Pack against just her and Sorrel, but Nim imagines that if Three and Five are there, they'd be more willing to attack the Careers than to attack people that are on her side.

As Nim walks towards the door, sword in hand, Sorrel stops her.

"How're your ribs doing?" He asks.

Thankfully, they don't hurt as much as they did yesterday, but there's still some pain. It should be enough for her to manage, or at least she hopes. "They've been better, but they're fine now."

He walks toward her, a knife in one hand and last night's morphling syringe in the other. "Roll up your shirt a little bit. There's a smidge of this leftover. I used it on myself before you woke up, and I feel much better."

Nim's eyes widen. Her father always told her not to put anything that isn't natural in her body, and morphling's the exact opposite of natural. Then again, morphling is a pain killer. This is what it's supposed to be used for.

She unzips her jacket and rolls her shirt just above her belly button. "Just make it quick."

Sorrel nods, then inserts the needle into Nim's stomach. As he presses down, she feels something tickling her from the inside, but once he's done, her stomach and chest are completely numb.

"Jeez, that does work really well," Nim remarks. "Thank you so much."

He nods, then opens the door, giving Nim the chance to walk through first.

The walk to the Cornucopia is less than ten minutes long, something Nim didn't realize when they settled at the abandoned restaurant last night. Even if the skies are still red and cloudy, the cool breeze that runs through her hair as she and Sorrel get closer to the Cornucopia makes her feel right at home.

Once they arrive at the edge of the boardwalk, just a staircase away from the action, Sorrel whispers. "I think we'd be best off if we made some sort of a plan."

Nim nods. She looks over the railway to see slimy-crablike creatures crawling from the jet-black ocean, the girl from Two seemingly fending them off. Next to her, Azure appears to be collecting bags from the fell ship, and beside her, the Six girl stands proud with an enlarged ax.

"We should probably go for Six if we can," Nim mutters, a bit disgusted by her suggestion to attack someone. "One and Two seem occupied."

"Agreed," Sorrel replies, patting Nim on the shoulder. "Any idea what we should do if we see Three and Five?"

"Ask for a truce," Nim suggests. "Hopefully, they're reasonable enough to take it."

"Ask us for what?" An unfamiliar voice coming from behind her makes Nim shake. She turns around to see the boy from Five, significantly smaller than she remembers, and the boy from Three standing over him, a solemn look on his face.

Nim stands her ground. "A truce. I imagine you guys are here for supplies the same way we are, so I was thinking we could agree not to attack each other and instead focus on taking out the Careers if need be."

"Interesting proposal, Four," the Five boy says with a smirk. "What do you think of that, Reesey?"

Seeing these two is a bit sobering for Nim. Sometimes, it's hard to remember that the Games don't revolve completely around her and her allies. Three and Five have had their own adventure, their own triumphs, and tribulations, and Nim doesn't know anything about it. Chances are, she never will.

The Three boy nods. "Sounds like a plan to me, little guy."

"Yeah, we're in." Five beams. "I'm Halcyon, by the way. Behind me is Reese."

"I'm Nim, and this is Sorrel," she says, extending her left hand. It feels a bit odd offering somebody a handshake now, but Nim's willing to do anything to make this seem a bit normal.

Luckily, Halcyon accepts, shaking Nim's hand eagerly. "Let's fucking do this shit!"

Reese squats onto the ground, allowing Halcyon to ride on their back. Based on both their plain expressions, this is completely normal for them.

"Please don't get on my back," Sorrel quips, earning a laugh from Nim.

From Reese's shoulders, Halcyon reaches into his pocket and pulls out a knife, prompting Sorrel to withdraw his own. Nim raises her sword and stands behind Reese, eagerly waiting for him to charge down the stairs and into the action.

As the group barrels towards the Cornucopia, Nim catches a glimpse of the crabs Two is fighting, the sound of thrashing water soothing her ears. Two seems overwhelmed, but Nim knows better than to help, even if the crabs remind her all too well of Shae. Hell, the day of the storm, they were playing with sand crabs as if nothing was wrong. Little did they know it'd be their last taste of normalcy.

Halcyon leaps off Reese's shoulders, a thunderous battle cry leaving his lips as he lands right in front of Six. She looks down at Halcyon and laughs, prompting him to make a grumbling noise.

"Get back," Reese shouts, noticing that Six is raising her ax.

When Halcyon doesn't, the Three boy is forced to step toward him, grab him by the collar, and throw him backward onto the ground.

Halcyon pops up and rolls his eyes. "That was really dramatic, damn."

As Nim raises her sword, preparing to swing at Six while she aims for somebody else, the other girl slams her ax downward, making heavy contact with Reese's stomach.

The Three boy slumps over, blood leaking from his jacket out onto the sand. He croaks in exasperation, "Halycon, please don't fuck up without me."

"What's happening?" The Five boy asks, his brows furrowed as he kneels over Reese's body. "Dude, you can stop joking around. It's not funny."

"It's not a joke; I'm fucking bleeding," Reese replies. "It's been nice knowing you, Hal; I'm sorry it had to end like this."

"What the fuck?" Halcyon shrieks. "Don't fucking die on me now!"

When Reese's cannon fires, Six girl looks down at them and laughs a heinous laugh. She points two fingers at Nim and Sorrel and then taunts them. "Which one of you two wants to be next, huh?"

Paying her no attention, Nim charges in Six's direction, her sword raised. Before she gets too close, she pedals backward, allowing Sorrel to plunge his knife into her side. Though she bleeds, she seems relatively unbothered. As Nim begins to charge back at her, Six raises her ax again, quickly planting it into Sorrel's neck.

He falls limp to the ground, no longer the strong titan he was when Nim met him. His eyes roll over into the back of his head as he croaks to Nim, "It was… it was…."

As blood gushes from his neck, Nim puts her hands on his wound, knowing in her heart that what she does won't save him, the same way her actions did nothing to save Viscania.

(The same way she couldn't have done anything to save Shae.)

She glances up and sees Halcyon wrapping his fingers around the collar of Six's shirt. Though she tries to bring her ax to him, he presses against it with his sword, tears in his eyes.

"You can't go," Nim pleads to Sorrel, again unsure how to feel about not having this last moment with Shae. "It's going to be alright, Sorrel. I promise, everything is going to be fine."

"No!" he stammers. "Nim… it's okay…."

"No, it's not okay," she says, her eyes beginning to water. "You can't go; you just can't."

(I can't fail to save somebody again.)

"It was… an… honor," Sorrel's voice quivers. "Thank… you…"

As his cannon sounds, Nim feels the grief from everyone else she's lost wash over her again.

She notices that Halcyon somehow has pinned the Six girl to the ground, and she's now looking around for her allies, who are nowhere to be found. He claws at her neck like a bat out of hell, stabbing her repeatedly and not minding the crimson fountain that gushes onto his face.

"Fuck you!" Halcyon says with one final stab, the sound of Six's cannon making him smile.

He turns back to Nim and smirks, almost as if his vicious side was never revealed. Nim's lips shake as she tries to find the right words to say to him, but by the time she can think of something, Halcyon has already run away, leaving just a single bag by the shipwreck for Nim to take.

"Thank you?" Nim mumbles, still refusing to move. It's then that she realizes, for the first time in forever, she's actually alone. She's always had her brother attached to her hip, and even after he died, Nim had her allies. But now it's just her, sobbing into her hands as three corpses lay beside her, and she's forced to wonder what her next move should be. Even worse, she's forced to wonder, What the fuck will Yara think?

Slowly, she crawls towards the supply bag, still not feeling right about anything that's transpired. Nim doesn't even bother looking through it, instead swinging it over her shoulder. She looks up to the boardwalk, flickers of pastel red lighting intruding her vision, and begins to cry. The more tears fall down her face, the less Nim even knows what they're for. Her father? Shae? Viscania? Sorrel? The fact Yara's going to hate her as soon as she finds out what happened?

All would be valid reasons to cry if not for the fact each droplet of water that hangs from her cheek is one her family or her allies would do anything to be alive enough to feel. One that Yara had already shed when her entire arm came off, and Nim was too afraid to look at it.

As she ambles back to the base, her mind races with a million different things that she could say to Yara, knowing damn well none of them will make up for the fact Sorrel isn't returning beside her.

Sorrel, the wholehearted warrior who gave his entire life training to protect those he loved. Viscania, the aggrieved apothecary who just wanted to be a part of something. Even Shae, her most beloved, deserves to be standing tall instead of Nim, but he isn't.

She knocks on the door, tears streaming down her face. Yara peaks around from the front window, quickly realizing that Nim's all alone. When the Eight girl opens the door, the only words Nim can bring herself to say are, "I'm sorry."

Yara wraps Nim in her arm, her hand gently stroking her back. She tilts back Nim's head and whispers into her mouth, "It's okay."

And when she leans in to plant her lips on Nim's, she lets her.

It's been a day, and Nim still doesn't know how to process anything.

Sorrel plummeting to the ground, Halcyon attacking Six like a wild beast, Nim crying until Yara was there to kiss away her tears; it all feels foreign.

She sits back in the booth in a body that hardly feels like her own, her fingers tapping on the table frantically, like she can tell something awful is on the horizon. It's only a matter of when.

Nim can't think clearly, instead forced to replay the past week's memories through her brain like one fucked-up kaleidoscope. Yara being beside her could be a distraction, but instead, she just makes Nim feel more alone.

If only Yara knew what happened. If only she knew that Sorrel died from a swing of an ax that was aimed at Nim. Maybe then she wouldn't have been so forgiving, maybe then she wouldn't have—

Nim sighs.

She's never been kissed before, much less by somebody in the middle of a death match while tears dripped down her face and she felt the weight of the world crashing down on her shoulders. Nim shouldn't be thinking about it anymore, not now of all times, but she can't control that the only thought she can make out in her mind is Yara, Yara, Yara.

Nim always thought the Eight girl subconsciously hated her, from her foul mouth to bold actions. She never expected she'd be the one to kiss her, to sweep her right off her feet, to—

Distract her. Because Shae is dead, Sorrel and Viscania are too, and now she doesn't know how to think, doesn't know how to breathe, doesn't know how to be. All she knows is Yara, who she doesn't deserve to think about because she let three people die and killed two more with her own hands. Yara Kazminov's love doesn't deserve to be poured over her wounds. Not even love can fix something as broken as Nim van Amstel.

Nim hasn't said anything to her all morning, not really knowing what there is to say because yes, a kiss is just a kiss at the end of the day, but it's also a promise. Nim's not sure what that promise is, nor does she want to know because all the poems say "till death do us part," and she can't fathom the thought of the grim reaper pulling someone away from her once more. She'd rather be lowered into the ground instead.

And that has to be soon; Nim can feel it'll be soon. Every passing second is one that should've been lived by Shae, but instead, she's here, not sure what to do because she never expected to say goodbye, never expected that someday she'd reach the end.

She figured the end of the world would be the most perfect storm, but instead, it's her hunched over a table, tears in her eyes because she doesn't know anything that's real aside from two lips grazing against her own.

Nim's no longer sure if the rumbles come from the sky or her stomach because she hasn't touched the food from the feast, not wanting to sample the ultimately worthless goods Sorrel died for her to have.

Whenever she looks up, she notices Yara staring at her. She's forced to wonder what's on the Eight girl's mind, why she continues to look, why she hasn't put Nim out of her misery when she's clearly reached her end.

Does she not want to say goodbye? Is it just like when Nim would go out searching for her father, refusing to believe somebody she loved so much could already be gone?

No, no. It's nothing like that because Yara's life is nothing like Nim's. Her wanderlust and wandering do not compare to sullen streets and addicts withering away on every block. Everything Yara's seen has served to make her strong, but when Nim got the tiniest taste of how shitty it is to be alive, she couldn't take it, and thus she sits, detached from it all.

"Are ya' gonna talk to me today?" Nim's not sure how much time passes before Yara speaks, her voice light like the sound of raindrops on Nim's shoddy rooftop in Four. She sounds far more peaceful than she's ever sounded, and Nim hates to think she could be the one thing capable of breaking such serenity.

"Maybe," Nim says, forcing her lips into a smile because it's selfish to complain when she's alive with all her limbs. "Depends if you want to talk to me."

"Of course I do," Yara responds, taking Nim's words as her cue to sit across from her at the booth. "I'm worried about you, Nim. You're not yourself."

Why would she be? The Nim who first met Yara was optimistic and buoyant and free-spirited, yes, but that Nim also had Shae, and Viscania and Sorrel were still alive, so she wasn't forced to be alone in her head for the first time in eighteen years.

But Yara doesn't need to hear that.

"I'll be fine," Nim lies, biting her tongue before she says something else and makes Yara think she's inadequate or incapable. "These past few days have just been a lot, and I don't really know what to do with the quiet."

She used to love it. Nim used to cherish when the skies were soundless, knowing that the calm always preceded a storm and soon she'd be dancing in the rain without a care in the world. Now Nim knows, the longer there's silence, the worse it'll be when it's cut with a knife, and she's forced back into the real world.

"I understand." Yara nods. "After my mom left, my dad was quiet almost always. He didn't really know what to do without her."

"I'm sorry she left," Nim says, nibbling onto this small piece of Yara's history like it's ambrosia from the gods above. It's proof they're similar, two halves of one whole, but not like her and Shae; no, they could be better. Yara Kazminov could be exactly what Nim needs if this wasn't the Hunger Games, and she still wasn't so fucking stubborn to get back to for despite her not deserving it. "The day my dad went away was probably the worst day of my life, or second now, to the day I lost Shae."

"Don't apologize about my mom; she was abusive as fuck," Yara sneers, and just like that, Nim's lost the stand of thread that was pulling them together. She's alone once more, abandoned in the middle of the sea, and nobody's able to sail out to her; either that, or they don't want to. "My dad still loves her, though. He hates himself for it, but he does. He'd always say that there was something about her that'd make him feel alive when he needed it most, and that good peaked through all of her bad."

Nim doesn't respond because, again, her mind's racing, wondering if Yara really likes her or if Nim's just like Yara's father, so hurt she only sees the good in something destined to hurt her.

Noticing Nim's silence, Yara continues and asks her, "What happened to your father?"

Her chest tightens because she doesn't want to sound stupid, especially not in front of Yara, but there's no way to explain what happened without sounding at least slightly foolish.

"He went on a boat to warn people about a terrible storm." Even the preface sounds dumb when compared to Yara's life of addiction and abuse. She's probably doing her best not to laugh because how dare Nim be affected by something that she'd consider a walk in the park. "He never came back. Shae found scraps of a boat that looked like his, but I refused, and still do refuse, to think he's dead, so the two of us went off looking for him and had been for several months, but then came the Reaping and… yeah."

Yara stares at her, and it's a look so pensive Nim can feel the insides of her soul begin to crumble as she expects the Eight girl to laugh at her. Because Nim's a fool to be so destroyed by this, and by Shae, and by Viscania and Sorrel. She's ungrateful and selfish and such a fucking fool to let that be the event which consumes her.

But Yara doesn't laugh. She doesn't howl or make fun of Nim or call her names. Instead, she squeezes her wrist and smiles. She whispers, "Everything is going to be alright."

Just for a moment, the paranoia inside her head lays rest, and Nim actually believes her.

A day and a bit more pass without much incident. Yara managed to get Nim to eat some of her food, but that hasn't stopped the sound of thunder from above. It hasn't stopped Nim from thinking that the end is near.

Because it has to be, right?

This is their ninth day here, so it's bound to end soon. After the events of the feast, there are only five of them left, and it's only a matter of time before—

"Four," Nim whispers as a cannon sounds. She's propped up against Yara outside of the restaurant, their fingers intertwined as a cool breeze embraces their skin.

"Who do 'ya think it was?" the Eight girl asks, still so playful and still unlike any of her that Nim's ever seen. "My bet's on the Five boy."

"I doubt it's Halcyon," Nim replies with a sigh. From what she remembers, the Five boy was determined and enraged to the point where Nim doubts he'd go down so easy. Sure, it's been two days since the feast, but there's a spark in Halcyon's eyes that she unmistakably remembers. It's the glint of a brother desperate to make it back to his sister, the same one Shae had when he was swept from the rocks. She could be looking into things far too deeply, but there's nevertheless something in Halcyon that feels familiar.

Silence washes over them again, only to be quickly broken by Panem's anthem in the air.

Nim hums along, "I guess we won't have to wait to find out then."

After the nation's seal flickers away, the girl from Two is projected onto the evening sky. Once again, Nim is left to wonder what happened, knowing she'll likely never get her answer.

(Because even with four left, she's not sure she can win this. She's not sure she'd deserve it if she did or how hard she should even try when a part of her really wants to see Shae again soon.)

"You were right then," Yara says as the projection flicks away. Nim sighs into the crook between her chin and her neck and closes her eyes, wishing she'd fade away like the twenty who did so she could be here.

Yara lets her rest, covering her back with her hand and combing through her hair. Nim's not completely asleep, though, unable to keep her eyes completely shut when it's abundantly clear that the end is nearer than ever before.

When she feels the light tap of rain on her stomach, rest becomes entirely more unlikely. Nim glances above, opening her mouth so a droplet can fall onto her tongue and roll down her throat, just another sliver of hope she'd be lucky ever to experience again.

She mutters, so softly she isn't sure Yara can hear her, "I think we're reaching the end."

"I do too," the Eight girl responds, just as gentle and tucking a strand of Nim's hair behind her ear. "How do you feel?"

Nim sighs. "I don't know."

Before she's given more time to ponder, Yara says, "I don't want to lose you, Nim."

Nim doesn't know what to say to that. Of course, she too doesn't want to lose another, but the cynic in her says she's already lost so much; what's one more addition to the pile of grief that lays at her feet?

"Me neither," she replies, hoping Yara interprets that as something positive because, really, Nim doesn't know what she means. After a brief pause, she asks the question that's been weighing her down all afternoon, "So, what do we do if it's just us two?"

"I have an idea for that, actually," Yara quickly replies. "There's a glass bottle inside, and I was thinking we could bring it wherever we go when it's time for the Games' ending. We could give it a little spin and then pick right then and there which one of us is to kill the other based on where the opening lands."

"There's a bottle?" Nim raises a brow.

Yara stands up, leaving Nim to correct her posture. "There sure is; I'll go get it."

While she waits for Yara, Nim reminisces on the last time they played a game with a bottle. They were on the Training Center rooftop, Shae was right by Nim's side, and despite her thinking their relationship was invincible, they got into a fight. Less than twelve hours later, he was dead.

Yara returns outside with a bottle in her hand. She smiles, then puts it in between her and Nim. "D'ya want to give it a test spin, just to make sure I didn't try anything funny with it?"

Nim nods. Before she can whirl it, Yara interrupts and says, "You know, there's another game people play with glass bottles."

"And what's that?" Nim asks.

"It's one where whoever the bottle lands on, the person who spun it has to give them a kiss," Yara explains, winking once she's done.

"There's only two of us, though."

"Exactly."

Nim's stomach churns as she grasps the bottle, one finger over the rest as she spins it in a circle. Her cheeks blush when, to no surprise, the other side lands on Yara.

The Eight girl smiles, her eyes lighting up everything around them. Once more, she cups Nim's chin in her hand and lets their lips collide.

Nim gives in with ease, kissing Yara back like it's the only thing she's capable of.

As the rain drizzles on top of them, Nim's able to forget for just a moment that the storm is always far worse than the calm.

She wakes up to thunder and lightning louder than the voices inside her head.

She and Yara stand looking out the window at the pouring rain, their fingers intertwined and frowns on their faces.

"I don't want the end to be here," Nim admits, fiddling with the sword in her hand. She has one of the knives in her pocket, and the rope hangs over her shoulder. Nim hasn't used the rope, not yet, but she doesn't know what the finale may bring.

A part of her doesn't want to know. She wishes she could stay in this abandoned restaurant with Yara forever, pretending nothing's real except them, too, until she gets zapped by lightning in her sleep and doesn't feel a thing.

The Eight girl sighs, then lifts Nim's hand and presses a kiss to her knuckles. "Neither do I."

Yara lets go and then reaches behind her to grab her own knife. Nim asked if she wanted to bring more supplies with her, but Yara claimed she was okay with just the knife and, of course, the bottle wedged into her pant pocket.

A tear rolls down Nim's face as they open the door to leave the restaurant one last time. To think, she spent so long wishing that the Games were over, but now that she's finally reached the end, she isn't sure she's ready.

Neither says a word as they walk towards the shipwreck once more in hopes of seeing the other Tributes, because they know that with every additional word that leaves their lips, goodbye will just be more brutal.

(Though Nim isn't sure she'll get a goodbye with Yara the same way she did with Viscania and with Sorrel. The same way she'll never get with Shae.)

The thunder, rain, and lighting only get worse as they near the beach where this mess all began. It's like the skies are on fire, hues of red and orange consuming the arena alive, threatening to not stop at anything until every living thing inside meets their end.

(Well, every living thing except one person. One person who Nim is no longer sure could be considered the lucky one.)

As they get closer to the shipwreck, Nim catches a glimpse of Azure from the corner of her eye. She's by the water and looks relatively at ease; like she thinks she's going to win this. That just leaves Halcyon, who Nim hopes will also be keen on taking down Azure before they all fight one another.

She and Yara walk down the boardwalk's stairway and onto the beach, Nim trembling with every step. This time, it's not because she's in pain, but rather, Nim knows that within the next five minutes, she'll be either heartbroken or dead, and she isn't sure which she'd prefer anymore.

She watches as Halcyon sprints down the stairs from the other side of the boardwalk, a terrified yet eager expression painted on his face. All Nim can do is hope that he's after Azure instead of her or Yara.

By the time she and Yara have reached the sand, Azure has made eye contact with them. Yara pats Nim on the back, then whispers, "You go see if Five wants to help us; I'll take her down."

Nim nods then races across the sand to where Halcyon's standing as tall as he can.

She bends her knees and asks him, "Hey, do you want to go after—"

He kicks her in the shins before she can finish her question. Nim whispers to herself, "I'll take that as a no, then," as she readies her sword, not really wanting to fight Halcyon but also knowing there's no other choice.

Nim never wanted to fight anybody, so with every duel she enters, she can feel her heart crumble more and more. It's only a matter of time before she completely shatters.

It's not too difficult to make contact with Halcyon's knife with her sword. Even if there's a demented look in his eyes, he's still much younger than Nim which means it's much easier for her to hit him even if she doesn't want to.

She swipes her sword at Halcyon's side, shrieking over the thunder and lightning when she punctures his side and sends him onto the ground. He squirms, the rain washing away the blood off his stomach and onto the sand.

"Please don't," he shrieks, but Nim pretends she doesn't hear him. She closes her eyes and swings again, this time hitting Halcyon's neck. When she opens her eyes, again, the rain washes away his blood, but again, Nim doesn't feel better about the fact she's made him bleed.

It doesn't help that even as his breathing gets heavier, he continues to convulse on the ground, screaming in pain with every passing second. She feels sick to her stomach as she plunges her blade deeper into his wound, telling herself that it'll all be over, it'll all be okay because soon—

She has to choke back tears when his cannon fires because she knows that by killing him, Nim has made the conscious decision that he is not hers to mourn.

Nim turns around over his body, catching a glimpse of Yara, her jacket covered in blood. Nim calls to her, "Did you get Azure?"

"Her cannon just fired," Yara replies.

"I thought that was for Halcyon," Nim says, confused. "Because I just killed him."

"Maybe it was for both of them because they died at the same time?"

That makes enough sense for Nim not to question it. Come to think of it, the past cannon did sound a bit different from those prior.

A lightning bolt strikes the ocean, and the thunder rumbles louder than before.

Nim sighs. "Well, does this mean it's just us left?"

Yara nods.

Is it wrong that a small part of her hoped Azure killed her instead of the other way around? It'd be so much easier for Nim to kill a stranger than it would Yara. Even if the bottle says that the Games are Nim's, she isn't sure she could actually kill Yara.

"Well then," Nim says, her lips trembling though she's unsure whether or not it's from the rain or because she's so terribly afraid. "Do you want to get the bottle?"

"There's no need," Yara responds.

Before Nim has time to react, the Eight girl drives her knife straight into Nim's stomach.

Nim gasps, unsure if it's shock, confusion, betrayal, or a mix of all three. As she covers her wound, Yara laughs. "Oh Nim, did you really think I was going to choose now of all times to play fair with you?"

"W-what do you m-mean?" she stammers, instinct kicking in and telling her to run far, far away.

As she treks through the sand and towards the dock, Yara follows her, sneering, "Why on the lord's earth would I, somebody so hellbent on survival, choose you, the person who let three of our own allies die, including your own brother?"

Her heart sinks to the depths of her stomach. "Yara, don't say that. I tried my best to save them; you know I tried my b\est. You saw me."

"You didn't try your best to save Shae, now did you," Yara says, Nim's brother's name sounding sour on the Eight girl's tongue. "You didn't try to save your father either. Probably because he's dead."

"Don't say that," Nim repeats, charging towards the boardwalk. "Yara, I know you don't think these things. I know you're scared, but everything's going to be alright, Yara. I promise."

"Bullshit," comes the Eight girl's response. She throws sand in Nim's direction, a few particles getting in her eyes. It's then that Nim looks upwards and suddenly knows what to do.

She grunts, then lifts the rope off her shoulder, tying one end to the knife's handle in her pocket.

As Yara gets near her, she shouts, "What do you think you're doing, Nim? Just come closer to me and let me kill you. Don't you know it'll be easier that way? What happened to not wanting me to die, huh?"

Nim tries to block the Eight girl's voice out. She throws the knife upward, hoping the wind is enough to carry it over the boardwalk railing. When it does, and better yet, loops the rope twice over the handle, Nim can't stop herself from smiling.

As she climbs the rope, Yara continues to taunt her. "You said it yourself, Nim. You're sorry for me. Don't you think I'm better off winning?"

Even though her hands burn, Nim keeps climbing, as she knows that without two hands, Yara won't be able to follow her. Once she reaches the top of the boardwalk, she looks over and sighs.

Despite everything in the past two minutes, Nim still doesn't want to kill her. Even if they're not as alike as Nim previously thought, Yara Kazminov is someone who is so clearly broken and misunderstood, it almost feels wrong for Nim to kill her.

But, as the Eight girl pulls out her knife to cut through Nim's rope, she knows she has to.

Shae wouldn't want Yara coming home instead of her. Her father wouldn't want to see his daughter succumb to betrayal and heartbreak.

And so, Nim lifts her sword and leaps off the rope, kicking out her knee to send Yara to the ground and planting her blade inside her chest.

As she presses deeper and deeper, Yara cusses her out, "Fuck you, Nim. How does it feel knowing you betrayed me? How does it feel knowing you're the reason no one's loved me yet? You never meant shit to me anyway."

She refuses to let Yara's words get to her, instead reaching down into her pocket and pulling out the glass bottle.

"Fuck you," Nim sneers, bringing the bottle down onto Yara's face. "I don't have time to feel bad for somebody who leeched off my loyalty. Goodbye."

With one final press of her sword, Yara's cannon fires, and Nim collapses.

She props herself up against the stairwell and begins to cry, waiting for Caesar to announce her victory. Even if she did win, Nim still feels empty. She still feels like she doesn't deserve it, and Yara's limp body is just a reminder.

Two minutes later, when Caesar still hasn't announced something, Nim begins to worry. From the corner of her eye, she sees something getting close to her, so she springs to her feet, grabs her sword, and begins investigating.

Once she realizes who it is, her jaw falls slack.

"Why are you so afraid, Four?" Azure taunts her, her entire body bloody and covered in sand but still able to help her crawl. "Are you afraid I'll do to you what I did to your brother?"

"You what?" Nim stammers, preparing to raise her blade. "What did you do to him? Why aren't you dead?"

"You really believe your little girlfriend's lie about the cannon after she stabbed you?" Azure sneers, lifting a knife from her pocket. "Your brother was an easy kill, by the way. Just one stab, and he was screaming bloody mercy. He asked where you were, by the way. I told him you must not have really cared."

Nim caves in on herself, humiliated. Perhaps, she deserves to die for leaving Shae, just as she always thought she did.

(Maybe he'll forgive her in another life. Maybe Yara, Sorrel, and Viscania will too, and they'll all finally be at peace. Maybe she'll finally see Dad again.)

She's just about to drop her sword and give Azure the win when she realizes, "How the fuck am I supposed to believe you?"

"What do you mean?" the One girl scoffs. "Why would I lie about killing your brother?"

"Oh, I don't doubt that," Nim says, lowering her blade onto Azure's back. "But why should I believe that he actually said that?"

Because what Azure said doesn't sound like her Shae. How dare she slip up and think he'd ever say such things.

She doesn't even give Azure time to respond, instead driving her sword through the girl's backbone, breathing heavily until she finally collapses.

As Azure writhes on the ground, Nim knows she has the rare chance to get revenge on her brother's killer as harshly as she wants to.

But she doesn't.

Even if Azure is cruel, it doesn't mean she deserves to die cruelly. Even if she did, Nim is too fucking tired to give her what she deserves.

Instead, Nim slits her throat as cleanly as she did the girl from Nine's and sits by her body as she takes her final breaths. She holds onto the One girl's hand and sighs. "Goodbye."

Just because Shae died alone and afraid doesn't mean Azure deserves the same fate.

Nim knows this as a fact because as the One girl's eyes slowly shut, she swears she feels her brother's ghost wrapping her tight in a hug.

Once Azure's cannon sounds, Nim collapses flat on her back. As the rain stops and the clouds begin to part, she realizes that the old saying her dad used to toss around really is true; Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.