Matt's brow ascends when he hears soft knuckles drumming on wood.
His eyes linger on the video game console they've been fastened to for the past few hours. Pausing the game reveals a digital clock displaying the time: 6:49pm. His head ticks to the side. Aside from the shallow breaths tumbling from the unexpected visitor on the opposite side of the door, the halls are drenched in silence, with most children attending the dining hall for their final meal of the day.
Matt had been so engaged in a difficult level, promising himself one more try for the past hour with minimal success, that he hadn't noticed the familiar call of the bell urging him to take a break and eat. Not that he would have gone anyway.
But someone else is absent from dinner, opting to visit him instead. The only person who frequents Matt's room is Mello, but his best friend is too brash and unapologetic to bother with knocking, especially this softly. His mind offers no other options for potential guests who might deem his company worthy of passing up food. His curious eyes finally part with the console, and he extends his invitation.
"Come in," he says.
The door whines as the visitor eases it open and steps inside. Matt perches his amber-tinted goggles on his head to ensure that he is seeing correctly. And indeed, he is. The figure that slips into the room is a small, pallid boy clutching a red robot to his chest. Large pupils float in the centre of dull grey irises, and his vacant eyes are glued to Matt with unwavering intensity.
What could Near, the top student at Wammy's, be doing in Matt's doorway?
Matt gestures for Near to enter. Thick socks muffle his footsteps with each slow advancement towards the bed. Matt discards the game console on his side table. He shuffles closer to the edge of the mattress until his feet are suspended mere millimetres off the floor. He leans back and readjusts his goggles to bathe the white-clad boy in warm orange.
The timing of this visit makes more sense given the identity of the surprise guest. Near avidly avoids the dining hall, likely to spare himself from the relentless whirr of chatter and chewing and clanging of dishes. Even Matt can hardly stand it, let alone Near, who is infinitely more sensitive to noise – or to any sense, really.
But the reason for the visit still evades Matt. Despite being ranked third at Wammy's House based on his grades and intellect, his brain refuses him any logical explanation for the boy's sudden presence in his bedroom. Did Mello do something to him? He doesn't look upset; but then again, Near rarely shows any emotion at all.
All Matt can do is sit and listen.
"I need to speak with you," Near says.
"What's up?"
Matt slaps the empty space on the bed beside him, perhaps a little too enthusiastically, but Near complies regardless and mounts the mattress. He quickly assumes his signature position with a knee drawn to his chest and a finger wrapped around a clump of silver hair amongst wavy bangs.
"I have recently become aware that you are good at understanding relationships and the feelings pertaining to them," he explains.
Matt can't stifle the obvious widening of his eyes. It's true that in the past few months, more and more of their peers have come to Matt seeking relationship advice, and he has developed a reputation as the 'Cupid' of Wammy's House.
But to think of the apathetic, asocial Near liking someone – and not only that, but seeking his assistance with it – is a bizarre and unforeseen occurrence. Matt's stomach bubbles with the exciting possibility of being privy to a well-concealed human side of the stoic boy.
"Yeah, I guess." Matt shrugs. "You interested in someone?"
He shifts on the bed to face Near properly and crosses his legs. He tries to maintain a nonchalant exterior, but is almost certain that the upward twitch of his lips and subtle trill in his voice will betray his intrigue. This is Near, after all. He doesn't miss anything.
"I believe so," Near says. "But the notion is unfamiliar to me. I'm having trouble making sense of it."
"Okay. Who is it?"
"Ah…" Near abandons Matt's eager gaze in favour of the floor. "I can't tell you that."
Matt frowns. "I can't help if I don't know who it is."
Near's chin tips upwards and he exhales, as if he's considering it for a moment, but he proceeds to shake his head.
"I was simply hoping to learn about the feelings that come with this type of arrangement," he says. "I wasn't asking you to set me up with him."
"Him?"
Near's eyelids squeeze themselves together as a noticeable flush rapidly colours his pale cheeks and nose. Matt decides to keep talking, rather than force the clearly embarrassed boy to continue speaking.
"So, that's what you're having trouble with?" he deduces. "You're questioning your sexuality?"
Near's lungs inflate and his response rides the heavy sigh on its way out.
"Yes."
"I see." Matt reaches across the space and tips Near's face towards him. "It's nothing to be ashamed of. I know a few other kids here who aren't straight."
"Who?"
"Cara, Oliver, Theo, Jade…" he swallows before revealing the final one. "Mello."
Near's stare strikes Matt's directly again. "Really?"
"Yeah. You can't tell anyone though. He'll kill me."
He shakes his head. "I wouldn't."
Matt ponders the scene before him. Since Matt mentioned Mello's name, Near's demeanour shifted. The blush painting his cheeks has reddened since it formed, but there's something different about the expression beneath it. He seems less embarrassed and rather… what is that? Hopeful? He's such a difficult person to read.
Matt leans forward and analyses the boy through narrowed eyes. The only rational conclusion could be…
"Near, do you have a crush on Mello?"
Bingo. Near's focus diverts again to the dusty floorboards, and the hand that was idly twirling a tendril of platinum hair is now tugging at it as if attempting to violently tear the strand from his scalp. The robot slips out of his other hand, leaving his fingers to fidget with one another, loose and unsure. His breathing escalates from a gentle hush to an erratic rhythm of loud, shallow puffs spat into the air with force.
Near likes Mello. That much is confirmed. It's a strange situation, indeed. Most of the couples Matt united were on positive terms, even if only vaguely acquainted with one another, and it was never a hard task to turn unrequited love into mutual affection.
But this is entirely different. Mello hates Near. He's hated him ever since Near arrived at the orphanage and robbed Mello of his precious title as the former top candidate to succeed the world's best detective, L. Now, Near is the best, and Mello has a burning vendetta against the harmless boy, like pelting rain in the midst of a storm with no intentions of faltering.
Although, even rain ceases eventually, and the gears of Matt's wicked mind are grating against one another to concoct the perfect plan to make Mello fall in love. Granted, Near stated that he didn't need a matchmaker, but this is just too good of an opportunity for Matt to decline.
"You can't tell him," Near blurts. "Please don't tell him. I'm not even sure that I like him. That's why I'm here. I just want to know what it's supposed to feel like."
Matt inches closer and rests his palms face-down on the bed, either side of Near's hunched frame.
"Tell me what you feel for him."
"Well… it's odd. My rational mind seems to completely stop functioning when he's nearby. I've found that I can't concentrate in class if he sits in front of me, which has never been a concern before." Matt's smile expands with each word uttered in Near's stammering tone. "I feel slightly ill when he looks at me, and it's worse when he touches me, even though it's usually with the intention of causing pain."
Matt replays the confession in his mind; memorising each description, sorting through the syllables and stutters to cling to the keywords that fuel his aching grin. He pictures a flustered Near pining for the clueless Mello as the blonde seizes him by the collar and slams him against the wall, launching senseless insults at the poor boy. He almost forgets to reply, until Near chokes on his own breath, and Matt is catapulted back into the present.
"So?" Near whispers.
"Oh yeah. You're infatuated with him."
He grimaces. "What am I supposed to do?"
"Leave it to me." Matt winks. "I know exactly how to handle it."
-:-
A week has passed, and nothing has changed.
Near assumes that Matt has forgotten about their conversation. Matt and Mello have continued to hang out without offering Near so much as a glance or a huff of acknowledgement.
Mello only approached Near once, three days after the encounter, to confront him about an assignment grade that left Mello with a score half a percentage point behind Near. He fired a string of empty threats that would never come to fruition, and left with a departing slam of the common room door.
As usual, Near's heart had kicked into overdrive, and he was sure that if Mello had prolonged the interaction just a second longer, he would have erupted with a torrent of hot lava spouting from his mouth like an active volcano. But Mello seemed none the wiser, which Near supposed was a good thing, since he did ask Matt not to reveal his humiliating secret.
It doesn't matter that deep down, he really wants Matt to tell Mello so that Mello would realise his feelings and make the first move. That doesn't matter because Mello doesn't have any feelings towards Near to come to terms with. Mello hates Near, and Near is too sensible to cling to any sliver of hope that the contrary might, one day, be true. So, things proceeded as they always have.
Until Wednesday.
"What the fuck is this?"
Near is a shrivelled figure buried in Mello's shadow, as he waves a piece of paper at the pale boy's back.
Regardless of his irrational affection for Mello, Near is unfazed by these outbursts. They're frequent enough that he knows how to deal with them, and he knows that Mello wouldn't injure him – at least, not seriously. The bigger issue is what Mello could possibly be upset about. They haven't received any recent test or assignment grades, and Near can't recall doing anything that might upset Mello outside of class.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Near says.
"Bullshit. You know exactly what I'm talking about."
He shoves the paper under Near's nose and unclenches his fist just long enough to let it fall onto the half-finished blank puzzle occupying the hardwood floor. The object is a sheet of folded red card, and despite having landed partially open, Near has a clear view of the white paper heart adorning the front. He presses a finger to the spine to read the brief message scrawled in elegant cursive inside.
Dear Mello,
You're my #1. Happy Valentine's Day.
Near
His eyes skate back and forth over the simple words, absorbing them but not quite comprehending them. The handwriting is an almost perfect imitation of his own, save for the subtle downward slant of the middle sentence which would make Near's eye twitch, were he not more concerned with the absurdity of the gesture.
The truth is, Near didn't even know it was Valentine's Day, let alone take the time and effort to write up a card that would certainly serve as an invitation to be punched in the face.
But who would write this? Matt? He's the only one who knows. Otherwise, it could be someone else trying to exact revenge on Near for some petty reason, or start drama between the boys out of sheer boredom. Near can't rule out any explanation; though, come to think of it, Matt does have a talent for forging handwriting and signatures. He wouldn't… would he?
"I didn't write this," Near says.
"Yeah, fucking right." Mello snatches the letter back and scrunches it in his hand. "I know you're trying to rile me up. You think you're so much better than me."
"If that were my intention, I would have better means of doing it than by writing a Valentine's Day card. I didn't even know it was Valentine's Day."
"Can you at least look at me while I'm talking to you?"
Near hesitates. He can't. He can't look at those magnetic azure eyes, or that gorgeous golden halo neatly cropped at his shoulders. But he decides it's in his best interest to follow Mello's orders of his own accord while he still can, before the older boy exacts his will by force.
Near swivels around and tilts his chin upwards in a painfully slow movement to meet the glare that had been searing holes into the back of his baggy pyjama shirt. And God, even the burning scowl doesn't stain the undeniable beauty of Mello's face. Near is paralysed at the sight. He wonders if he's truly going insane.
Mello waves the card again and bows his head to utter his words in a menacing growl, abandoning his previous screeching tone. "Why did you write this?"
Near holds his eyes until nausea wracks his body. He makes a cautious effort to rise from his place with a slight wince at the possibility of being struck back down to the floor. But Mello does nothing as he collects his unfinished puzzle and shuffles towards the exit.
"I have to go," he manages.
The door clicks shut.
-:-
The trembling in Near's body hasn't subsided since he crawled beneath the sheets. If anyone were to walk in right now, all they would see is a clean bedroom with boxes of toys swept to the sides, and a quivering lump in the small, white bed. Near realised, as soon as he curled up into a foetal position under the quilt, that he had neglected to lock the door in his besotted trance. But he doesn't want to move, and frankly, he doesn't care who sees him now.
So, he doesn't flinch when Matt creeps in and settles on the edge of the bed beside him. Matt peels away each layer of the sheets individually until he's faced with the petite boy, who appears even smaller in a ball drowned by blankets upon blankets.
"I'm guessing he got the card," Matt says.
"So, it was you." Near slides backwards and crashes into the wall. "I believe I told you not to say anything."
Tears line his bottom eyelids. He blinks rapidly to fend them off. He can't cry. He shouldn't have shown any emotion to begin with, really. Telling Matt was a mistake, and he's now facing the hefty price.
"Look, Near, nothing is going to happen if you sit around and wait."
"Nothing will ever happen." Near rocks back and forth. "He hates me."
The tense exchange is interrupted by a nudge at the door, followed by a rough knock and an angelic voice peering in through the cracks.
"Near?" Mello calls. "Can you let me in? I'm not going to yell at you, I just want to talk."
Near shoots Matt a wide-eyed stare but the gamer has already dived towards the left side of the room and wedged himself between the wall and the cupboard door. Near peels himself away from the mattress. His hand lingers on the handle. He flicks another glance back at Matt, whose enthusiastic nods spur the boy to unfasten the lock and back away whilst Mello's explosive presence fills the room.
Near seats himself on the edge of the bed. His hands wrestle in his lap and his eyes can't quite meet the older boy's, instead settling on the black attire that conflicts with the white room. The floor groans as Mello trudges towards the bed. He claims the space beside Near, almost leveling their height difference.
"I'm…" He looks away and dumps a hot, forceful breath into the bitter air. "I'm sorry."
Matt and Near's jaws fall open in unison, though Matt's dumbfounded expression isn't visible to the two other geniuses from his hiding place. Mello never apologises. Now, he has Near's full attention, and their stares unite as both heads turn back to one another. Mello holds the wrinkled card between them for both eyes to study.
"When I first saw this, I assumed you were just trying to provoke me," he says. "But in the common room, you seemed so… I don't know. Anyway, I don't like having outstanding debt, so here."
He retrieves a second card, white with a red heart in direct opposition to the design Matt opted for, and plants it on Near's lap. Near's shivering hands are barely stable enough to grasp the gift. Dilated pupils skim over the text, once, twice, and a third time for good measure. His heart rattles with an intensity that threatens to shatter his ribcage.
To the cutest boy at Wammy's House,
I like you 2. Happy Valentine's Day.
Mello
Mello gulps. "Yeah… I mean, it was kind of a rush job, so-"
Near tosses the cards aside and grabs Mello's face to silence him. The two draw closer, mirroring each other's gradual, uncertain movements until their lips collide. Near melts into the sensation of Mello's arms around his waist, dragging him forward until he's practically seated in the blonde's lap. He lets Mello take the lead as everything else falls away – time, hostility, rivalry – until it's just the two of them, frozen in this precious, shared moment.
Well, except for Matt, whose grin stretches from the edge of one cheek to the other as he witnesses the act through the cupboard doors. Near and Mello are so immersed in each other, they don't notice Matt tracing the walls and sneaking one final look from the doorway.
As he retreats into the corridor to grant the pair some privacy, he wonders when he'll finally get his own love life in order.