My first week at school passed easily. It was my first Friday and as much as I didn't mind school, I was itching for the weekend to start so I could finally get a vehicle. I'd finished most of the books I brought along, and when I asked around in town, I was told that there was both a bookstore and – more importantly – a metaphysical shop in Port Angeles but the trip was a little over an hour by car. I had briefly considered asking Alice to come along, I was sure there would be at least one good coffee shop there, but despite being quite resolute in my decision to ask her this morning, by the time lunch came I was far too intimidated to approach the table the Cullens sat at.
It was raining heavily today, and even the chatter of 300 high-school students couldn't drown out the sound of the downpour on the roof. It felt like the calming force of the rain was warring with my nervousness around Alice. I glanced over at the Cullen table again before Jessica interrupted my musings.
"Bella! You've been staring at the Cullen table all week; you may as well ask one of the boys out and get it over with so we can get back to just being ignored by them." She sounded quite annoyed, but I knew she just wanted something new to talk about; not much happens here in Forks High, at least not much to gossip about, and the new kid getting rejected by one of the Cullens would be news – no matter how expected the outcome was. I blushed and felt a twinge of annoyance that it was assumed I would go after one of the boys, but at least that meant I wasn't in any danger of being outed.
"I don't want to bother them; they always seem so engaged during lunch…" Conversation at the table slowly picked up as Tyler jumped in on Jessica's and my talk.
"Well, you know my opinion already, but for real the best way to actually get one of them alone is just in class. As far as I know, none of them share classes. Just get in with one of the girls and use that as an in with one of the brothers." Tyler made things sound simple, but the problem was I wanted one of the girls to start with.
I gave a neutral "Hmm" in reply – as if I would consider his idea. I would not, in fact, consider his idea at all. I got up to get rid of my tray, and as lunch ended and everyone dispersed to their classes I contemplated whether or not I would use Art History as a last chance to ask Alice out to a coffee shop before the weekend. I couldn't help building it up in my head to this big thing. Finally, as Chemistry ended and I left the classroom to head to Art History I paused, eyes wide, as I saw Alice standing by the door, looking around. Before she even spoke, I somehow knew she was looking for me.
"Bella! There you are, I wanted to talk to you before class began. My family is going hiking this weekend, and tragically I'm being dragged along, but I was hoping we could perhaps get coffee this afternoon?" She looked so hopeful and she was saving me the anxiety of having to ask her myself, I had to remind myself to focus, but every conversation with her was a breathtaking experience. She had walked much closer and seemed to come just inside the space one might consider 'personal.' Her face, framed perfectly by her messy black hair, held a coy smile.
I stood up a little straighter, which wasn't really necessary since she was so much shorter than me, and tried to reply in an aloof tone "Yeah, sure that sounds fun. I haven't checked the area yet to see if there are any good ones, did you have a place in mind?" I hoped that didn't come across as too eager, but this was like a dream come true.
"Tragically there are no exceptionally high-quality coffee shops in the area," she said with an exaggerated sigh and the back of her hand to her forehead "But! I do know that A Shot In The Dark makes a decent espresso, and I'm sure we can convince them to make you a latte if you prefer. Then we can just walk to Tillicum Park and find a bench!" It felt like her excitement had overflowed her tiny body and was bleeding into me, I couldn't help a smile forming while she spoke.
Her infectious cheer inspired my similarly cheerful reply, "That sounds awesome, right after school, you think? Or, actually, I don't have a car yet, I'm still biking until this weekend… I guess I can drop it off at home?" I started imagining the logistics, but the teacher interrupted us before I could get any further into it.
"Alright ladies, no more gossip, class starts in two minutes, go take your seats." I sighed, but Alice and I moved to sit at the desk we had claimed near the front. She walked past me to get through the door and our hands brushed, it almost felt intentional. Even from such a brief and simple touch my heart started racing, I told myself that it was just an accident, but Alice glanced over at me when she sat down and she seemed to be fighting a smirk – I had to take a deep breath and remind myself that she was probably straight, and not to fantasize about kissing people I wanted to be friends with.
I couldn't focus on the class, despite us now being on Gothic Art – a style I liked a lot more, especially in architecture – Alice seemed to be sitting closer than usual, and that was turning out to be very distracting. Her unique scent – whether from body-wash or maybe shampoo, I had no idea – was a lot stronger when I was sitting only six inches away from her.
As soon as the final bell rang Alice turned fully towards me in her chair, and I took a deep breath before turning to face her as well. She had a slight smile and raised eyebrows, it was clear she wanted to let me speak first, "Hi," I started, "so like I was saying, I can just meet you there, since I bike –"
"Nonsense!" She interrupted in a sing-song voice, "Obviously I'll drive you, and I have a bike rack on my car so of course I can take you and your bike home after we hang out." Her smile could've powered entire cities for how electrifyingly beautiful it was. I subconsciously bit my lip; this girl was something else.
"Oh, I would appreciate that." I wasn't really sure what else to say, and she seemed content to sit there and look at me even though the class was starting to empty out. "Should we… go now?"
She picked up her backpack, stood up from her chair, and walked to the other side of me, then held out her hand with a smile "Let's go, then." I reached for her hand tentatively, and once I had my backpack on and stood up, she linked her arm with mine and we walked to my bike.
The ride was ridiculously short to the coffee shop, too short, in my opinion. Her car smelled just like her, and it took all of my willpower not to stare at her during the three-minute drive. We pulled up to the drive through espresso shop and I ordered a simple americano with oat milk instead of water. Alice didn't order anything, which was a little weird, especially when she insisted on paying for me, but I decided that complaining about a gorgeous girl buying me coffee was bad energy, and I wouldn't do it.
We walked around the park while the sky threatened to open up above us, even after raining all day. We eventually settled on at a picnic table in a covered pavilion, just to be safe. Alice had been chattering away about all sorts of topics, mostly fashion or school related. I learned surprisingly quite a bit about her in just 10 minutes of walking. Her favorite color was yellow – a fact that did not surprise me in the least, she liked the gloomy weather of Forks because it felt poetic, and she wanted to be a nurse.
"Alright Bella, I feel like I've done all of the talking, tell me a little about yourself! What are you doing here in Forks, who's your favorite musician? What do you like to eat for breakfast?" She was leaned forward with her elbows on the table and her chin in her hands, she looked genuinely interested in knowing even these random banal facts about me. I formulated an answer in my head, trying to remember everything she asked even though her mere presence seemed to coax my brain into a pleasantly warm buzz.
I took a deep breath before answering "Well I moved here, um, to give my mom and her new fiancé some space, I figured it would be easier for them to travel the country without a third wheel. I like Streetlight Manifesto, I think their song Here's to Life is really good… and I, uh, I guess scrambled eggs? I'm not really a good cook, to be honest." Her eyes glittered like rubies when I looked back at her, and it looked like she thought I was the most interesting thing in the world at that moment. My face felt warm as I blushed in response to her seemingly genuine interest.
We continued to talk about a lot of random things, but suddenly Alice said something that almost stopped my heart, "This kind of feels like a date, doesn't it?" she giggled, and sat back up straight, looking like she was gauging my reaction.
"I – what?" I could feel myself blushing furiously, and I had no idea how to reply to that, I opened my mouth to speak and nothing came out, luckily Alice had more to say.
"Maybe a friend-date," she added with a wink, I wondered how it was possible for a teenager to be as smooth as her, but I guess if you're gorgeous you may as well be suave as heck as well. "It's just kind of a romantic atmosphere, right?" Her face looked serious for a moment as she described the scene, "Two girls sat at a picnic table in the park, the light misting of rain providing a sheltered and safe atmosphere for them to learn more about one another without the judging eyes of society." She made it sound so dramatic and interesting, I wondered if that's how she really saw this, I just felt out of my depth now. Did she… like girls? Did she like me?!
I looked around and found I couldn't disagree with her, this could be a scene from a movie, where the lovers shared a chaste kiss under the pavilion. "Do…" I hesitated to ask my next question, but I felt like I had to know after what she just said, "do you… like girls?"
Alice looked coquettish and replied with a smile, "I like one girl." She looked at me meaningfully, and I was having trouble deciding if this was a trick to get to me admit I was a raging lesbian, or if she was genuinely implying that she liked me. I decided I would test the waters a bit.
"I... might also like one specific girl…" I bit my lip and looked back up from the table to see her smirking, my heart stuttered but she spoke quickly and alleviated any worries I had.
"I certainly hope so or I'll feel quite embarrassed for having practically thrown myself at you all week." She giggled, and my eyes widened. I couldn't believe she was being so forward, in all the fanfiction I've read, lesbians were always terrible at getting together and take forever to even talk to one another let alone admit any sort of mutual liking. It made sense, looking back on this week, though. She had taken any excuse to touch me in Art History, made small talk about seemingly anything she could imagine, and always gave me the brightest smiles. I realized I hadn't seen her smile at anyone else like that yet.
"Now, unfortunately I have to get going. I have to help my family pack for the camping trip and they'll all be very cross with me for disappearing with you without any warning," she smiled brilliantly as she stood up, walked over and linked arms with me, and led us back to her car. "I won't try to force you into anything you don't want, but I do like you, and if nothing else, I want to be your friend." Her gaze was piercing, and it seemed like her eyes had darkened considerably since earlier.
"No I… I like you too, I don't know if I want to come out publicly yet though." I spoke hesitantly, I didn't want to reject her, I definitely had a massive crush, and I knew that she could have anyone she wanted, but I was also very concerned about how being a lesbian would look in a small town high-school. "I guess I'm just worried about the reception…"
She grimaced, an unhappy expression that didn't seem to fit her face, and when she spoke her voice was angry and violent in a way I didn't think was possible from her perfect lips, "Yes, sometimes I forget how ridiculous people are about something as beautiful as love. They can't seem to mind their own damn business." We had reached the car and she leaned back against the driver's door. I stood facing her awkwardly, I wasn't sure what to really say to that, I agreed, but society was a beast that I didn't know how to conquer. She seemed unmoving in a way that didn't feel possible, all rigid lines, tense with frustration. I reached out to touch her arm and flinched slightly at the cold, but I caught her eyes.
"Listen I don't think we can fix the world right now, but... I– if you just want to get coffee sometimes, and listen to music together, and… I don't know, go on walks? I'd be happy to spend as much time with you as possible." She softened at that, and wrapped me in a hug, which sent my heart racing faster than anything. It was a short hug, she opened the door and slid into the seat gracefully and I stood there breathless for a moment. She started up the car and grinned at me mischievously before I shook off the daze and walked around to get into the passenger side.
On the the ride back to my place, I decided to ask one of the questions that had been on my mind "Do your eyes change colors?" I looked at her curiously, she already seemed like a storybook character, but this tickled something in the back of my brain I heard from my gramma. Some distant warning bell rang in my head, but it had been so long since she told me that it signified nothing to me.
"Hmm it's probably the lighting, red eyes are pretty susceptible to lighting changes, you know?" Her reply didn't sound annoyed, but she did seem more tense. I wasn't sure if it was just my anxiety making me notice things that weren't there; she said she liked me, I wanted to be happy with that. I just didn't know how long her liking me was going to last. I took a deep breath and exhaled, which seemed to make her tense even more, she seemed as still as a statue, like – a slight chill ran through my blood – my gram had told me about the fae. She had warned me that Winter and Summer were real and some... some fae ate humans.
I knew I was going to have to research this when I got home, and she seemed harmless, but I suppose the fae usually did. "Thanks for the ride," I said when she pulled next to my house. I was torn between wanting to flee and not caring if she spirited me away to Winter or wherever she was from. It would be a beautiful way to go, if I were to die by her hand.
"I had a lovely time, Bella, sorry for the weirdness," she said, and sounded truly nervous I might actually judge her. "I'm just having some... stomach issues. But we should definitely do this again," I was halfway out of the car when she paused and I turned back to look at her, she was all soft lines and kissable lips once again, but her dark eyes made me want to ask questions I knew would have dangerous answers. "I really like you, you're a fascinating person. Maybe Tuesday?" the way her voice raised at the end I felt like she knew I suspected something about her.
"Tuesday sounds great," I replied with as much cheer as I could muster. "And…" I started blushing furiously, "I really like you too."
I got fully out of the car, grabbed my bike off the rack, and walked to my house; she took off with a wave out of the window. Despite the feelings of concern I had, I wanted to see her again. I looked forward to Alice giving my life some much needed sunshine, since it seemed like she had so much to spare. I ran up to my room, it was still early, and dad wasn't back yet so I used this time to turn on some music and look for the book on Celtic fairy tales my gramma had given me before she passed. The only thing I could find was some tales about a race of godlike immortals called the Tuath Dé Donann, but details on them were sparse. I guess the Christians really did a number on Celtic folklore. At least the mainstream stuff.
My gramma had always said that the fae, and their cousins, the sidhe, were beautiful creatures of infinite time, with powers and strength that mortals could never even begin to understand. She even claimed to have met some, but the ones she always told me stories of had golden or gold-black eyes, not red. I didn't know what Alice was, or even if she was anything supernatural at all, but I knew I had a big crush on her. Honestly, no matter what Alice turned out to be, most of all I hoped she would turn out to be mine.
I spent the entire weekend reading Greek and Celtic Mythology and books; I considered unpacking my tarot deck, but what could that really tell me? I wasn't exactly an Oracle of Apollo; I didn't expect it to reveal all of Alice's secrets to me. I caved and did a simple three-card pull on Monday morning anyway, and reminded myself that Tarot was just a fun thing when the results, a Page of Wands for the past, but Death for present and the High Priestess for the future didn't bode well…
I kept my chin up though, and walked into Trigonometry expecting to see Alice in the back since she always beat me to class. When class started and she didn't show up, I tried not to let my mind wander to all the things that could have happened to her in the wilderness over the weekend. Classes moved quickly and before I knew it lunch had come around, I waited for the Cullens to come in, only halfway paying attention to the conversation at the table.
" –heard she was a lesbian. And she lives just down the street from me," Lauren whispered harshly, and there were various reactions around the table. The laughter seemed more nervous than mocking, no one really appeared very comfortable with Lauren's judgment, but they also didn't seem to want to speak up.
Lauran had already killed the conversation, so I figured it wouldn't hurt if I killed it even more, "Good for her, it's a hard time to come out and live your truth. People are too judgmental these days anyway, right? Just let people be gay." Lauren looked at me with a venom in her glare that surprised me, I figured she was a little bigoted, but the hate in her look surprised me.
"Listen I don't really care what people do in their private time but I just think it's disgusting if someone's a dy–" her tirade was cut off by a pale hand slamming onto our table. Everyone jumped and looked over at the intruder to the conversation, there stood Emmet Cullen, wide grin on his face.
The table was stunned, from what I understood it was unheard of for the Cullens to interact with, to quote Lauren, 'the common rabble.' "Isabella, Bella, Bells, what is happenin'! Listen, Alice and Rosalie wanted to know about a shopping trip this weekend, they're thinking Seattle!" He spread his arms dramatically as if he was a presenter for a carnival, "And I heard you're good company too, so if you ever wanted to go whitewater rafting or rock climbing in the mountains, you just let me know," His brilliant smile promised a good time no matter what we did.
I couldn't help the look of shock that fell across my face I definitely wanted to go shopping with Alice, but whitewater rafting or rock climbing sounded pretty fatal for me, "Um," I squeaked out, "I don't know that I'm coordinated enough for those things…"
Lauren flipped her hair and looked like she was about to issue a scathing remark to Emmet, but Jessica kicked her shin under the table so all that came out of Laurens mouth was a yelp. "Actually," Jessica started, "we were thinking of going to the beach over in La Push one of these weekends if you and your siblings wanted to join!" Jessica's voice was full of cheer and she turned a hopeful look in Emmet's direction.
His gaze darkened slightly and he looked away "Well… We try to avoid La Push; we're not exactly allowed there."
Lauren jumped on this fresh piece of gossip, sharp eyes locked on Emmet's flawless face, "Oh? The Perfect Cullens partied too hard and got banned, is that it?"
"Something like that," Emmet said at the same time as Tyler replied.
"No, that's not why," Tyler's voice was firm, but he didn't elaborate.
Emmet awkwardly rubbed the back of his head, and glanced meaningfully at Tyler before making an excuse and going back to his table. I hadn't even gotten the chance to say that I would like shopping with Alice and her sister. Jessica whipped her head towards me when Emmet sat back down at his table.
"Alright Bella, spill the beans, what the hell was that, since when are you friends with Alice and Rosalie Cullen? And Emmet is inviting you to deadly activities?!" she looked like the cat that ate the canary, knowing Jessica she'd be on this until the next bit of gossip dropped.
"I mean it's not that big of a deal, and really I haven't even met Rosalie yet, I just got coffee with Alice on Friday–" Jessica was too excited to let me finish and interrupted gleefully.
"Are you joking! Oh my gosh if she decided to hang out with you there's definitely hope for the rest of us." Thankfully the bell rang at that moment and I didn't have to suffer any more of this ridiculously embarrassing interaction. I started to hurry to my next class but Tyler stopped me before I could make it through the door.
He grimaced when he saw my expression, I was getting really exasperated with these people and it was beginning to feel like I might just start sitting alone anyway, and I guess my frustration reflected pretty well on my face, "Listen," he started, "Not all of us share in Lauren's… uh… specific view towards certain people. I'm…" He leaned closer, sort of inside my personal bubble, but his face was filled with anxiety, so I didn't say anything immediately, "I'm two-spirit myself, it's sort of the indigenous version of being non-binary… It's different depending on the person, but yeah. She sits with us out of habit, most of us don't care who you love or how you identify."
My eyes widened and I was actually struck speechless, Tyler cleared his throat and mumbled about having to go class, the mention of which sent me scurrying off to class as well. The thought was stuck in my head though, and I couldn't help being distracted about it the rest of the day. Maybe it really would be safe to come out here, Angela might be a problem, but if the rest were cool… she wouldn't have a choice.
I noticed Alice wasn't in my Art History class either, and by the time class was over I was nearly falling asleep at my desk. I wrote down the homework from the teacher and walked outside into the sleet. My frustration was pretty high with both what happened at lunch and the weather – which was just wet snow and rain coming down so hard I could hardly see ten feet in front of my face.
I probably should've known something was wrong when I was crossing the parking lot when I turned and saw headlights coming towards me and not stopping, but it was the horn that really made me realize I was in trouble. The ground was so slippery that when I tried to jump out of the way of the van sliding unerringly for me I just fell down instead. I realized with a bitter irony that maybe I had some skill as an oracle after all because it seemed like I was about to die. I scrunched my eyes tight and hoped for a miracle.
The screeching of tires passed me by and I thought maybe the van had some swerved out of the way somehow, despite the icy parking lot, but then Alice's panicked voice filled my ears "Bella! Bella, sweetie, are you okay?" I wondered how she was here, a buzzed static seemed to be filling my veins and I couldn't respond. "Bella? Bella! Okay, that's it, I'm taking you to the hospital!" Alice picked me up (how… did she…?) and carried me to her car where I was sat gently into the passenger seat.
"Alice…?" I mumbled, still in shock, "How did you save me?" I didn't care, in the end, how it was done, and I groped blindly for her hand. My gaze still seemed stuck forward; was this a panic attack, a shock response? Alice's hand found mine and she gripped it tightly as we tore out of the parking lot to the hospital. I knew, then, that no matter what Alice was, I would take her secrets to my grave.