Summary: Not only did you see how your beloved parents drowned before you, no, but you also hear and see how Chat Noir, one of the supposed heroes of Paris, does nothing to help the people in distress, just sitting and mopping around till you see him detransform into the famous model Adrien Agreste and how he literally blackmails his Kwami that he will quit if he doesn't tell him secrets that are not his to tell.
And then he gets rewarded by the supposed guardian of the miraculous with new powers.
Not on your watch!
After Ladybug restores everything back, you decide to create your own blog with one scoop.
To get the whole world to realize what a horrible hero Chat Noir makes and that the people demand that he loses his ring!
Warning: If you like Adrien Agreste/Chat Noir you should turn back because I'm salty at this boy and the creators of this show and I won't hold back.
If you feel the same, enjoy with me this trip down the salty road.
You just couldn't believe it.
You refused to believe it.
But the hot tears streaming down your cheeks and the feeling of terror and loss couldn't be ignored.
Your parents...they died.
Paris had turned into an ocean and the crashing waves had taken your parents from you.
You barely could hold yourself on the rooftop of the building you were stranded.
A loud wail left your mouth and you cried in earnest.
You wished to be dead too!
Why, why, had your parents needed to die?
Why was nobody helping?
Where were Ladybug and Chat Noir?
You needed the Miraculous Cure to get your parents back.
Why was nothing happing?
Your wails turned into hiccups. You just wanted to stop feeling.
You wanted your parents back!
Why was it taking so long?
Was the Akuma who had created this ocean to powerful for Paris Superheros?
You needed answers.
You didn't know from where you got the strength, but you took your phone out and searched for the Ladyblog.
Shivering you looked at the live footage of Ladybug fighting some kind of shark girl thingy, the Akuma for sure.
Then Ladybug left.
She couldn't just abandon you all, right?
Ladybug surely had a plan. She always had one.
But...where was Chat Noir?
Even later you couldn't say for sure why you started to look around.
Maybe you had somehow sensed that some other person was near you.
Maybe it was faith you would be a witness to it.
Or maybe someone was just really, really angry at some straight-white-dudes-in their 40 who turned a serie that should be empowering girls into an fucking trainwreck of sexual harassment, and the female lead ALWAYS in the wrong...
Whatever it was, your eyes found Chat Noir.
He...he was just sitting, clearly mopey about something, on a building next to your own.
You blinked.
Pinched yourself.
Then gave yourself a hard slap.
No, you weren't imagining things.
People were actually drowning and this...this fucker was doing nothing?!
Who the fuck cared if Miraculous Cure brought anyone back, everybody who died and who had witnessed death would remember it forever!
These are emotional scares that Miraculous Cure couldn't heal.
And this Fucker didn't prevent more casualty!
There existed no single reason in the world why he shouldn't get up his ass and help!
What kind of a hero was Chat Noir?!
Burning hatred formed in you and for a moment you forgot the trauma of seeing your parents die.
With your phone in your hand, you started to take pictures.
Then after a few minutes of still nothing doing from Chat Noir, you started a video.
"Hey whoever I'm going to show this.", you started to say. "I want to show you one of Paris Heroes doing absolutely nothing while people are drowning around him. My parents fucking died and I will remember it forever, and maybe they hadn't had to die if this fucking useless cat in leather did his job and saved people. That is the job description of being a hero! Why does Ladybug keep him as a partner? This video is already a minute long and that fucker over there is still sitting and mopey about something! If I was Ladybug I would kick his ass and take his ring! What do you guys think, is someone like him really a hero?!"
You stopped the recording.
How you wished you could have live-streamed it, but with the internet down, you could only do so much.
"This is so dumb.", you suddenly heard Chat Noir.
What next happened let your jaw drop. He stood up and detransformed.
Right in front of your eyes!
He didn't even check if it was save to detransform, which he needed to do since, you know, Papillion could have seen him and then he would know his civil identity and get so his Miraculous, which couldn't happen.
But no, this idiot just did it without thinking.
And now you know who Chat Noir was. How could you not with his face plastered all around Paris and all the commercials he featured in?
Chat Noir was Adrien Agreste, the famose supermodel and son of the designer Gabriel Agreste!
You swerve your brain took a moment to reboot, like an old computer. This was too much.
Who in their right mind chooses someone super famous as a superhero? With all the photo shooting this boy did you would think he didn't have time to help Ladybug and save Paris on a daily base from Papillion. How did he manage that?
Oh, wait.
That's right.
The fucker did absolutely nothing today and he always played around while Ladybug had to do the hard work.
It was crazy how you never realized it till this moment, but it was true.
Like a blindfold was taken from your eyes.
He joked around, never took things seriously, and flirted with a very unwilling Ladybug to his heart's content.
You started to feel sick.
Was he…was he sexually harassing Ladybug? She did always say they weren't a couple and she never flirted back.
As a girl yourself your heart got out to Ladybug. She couldn't win. She needed Chat Noir's power in battle, so she had to endure it. It was not like when some asshole in a car tried to hit on you, you could walk away and saw them never again, but Ladybug had to see him every Akuma battle.
Was she okay? Was she mentally okay? Why did nobody else, even you, see what was happening really?
Tears fall from your eyes, but this time you cried for poor Ladybug. How could you help her?
How could you make see all of Paris what a disgusting human being Adrien Agreste/Chat Noir was?
Your eyes looked at your phone.
The photo and the video…
Right…
If for some reason Ladybug couldn't just take away his ring, you would do anything in your power to enlighten Paris citizens and that they demand that Chat Noir lost his right as a superhero.
Meanwhile, Adrien was facing now a little floating black cat and was holding his ring in his fingers, like he wanted to take it off.
You wiped your tears and looked on.
What was he now doing? And who was the floating kitty?
"If you don't tell me what Ladybug is hiding from me.", Adrien said to the kitty. "I'm done."
Did you hear right?
He was blackmailing the kitty?
He was already low on your list of decent human beings, but this took it down another ten levels.
"Do it, you coward, we are better off without you.", you grumble to yourself.
God how you wished to punch his stupid pretty face! Maybe then he would see reasons.
The kitty was not on your side cause it actually reassured Adrien like he was the best black cat he ever had.
Was the kitty brainwashed?
Was this whole fucking city brainwashed?
Apparently yes since suddenly an older Chinese man appeared and gave this undeserving piece of shit new powers.
Then he must be who gave Ladybug and Adrien in the first place their Miraculous.
There was so much wrong with this.
Okay first, the older man also didn't check if someone was nearby like Papillion wouldn't totally spy on all of Paris, yeah right. Not a really wise older man, if you think about it.
Then who in their right mind chooses a famous person as a superhero, sees how he behaves, because you bet that he checked on Ladybug and Adrien in the shadows, and then lets him continue?
What was wrong here?
It seemed as if the whole universe bend itself around Adrien's rich white straight ass so that he could get anything he wanted.
This was so not okay.
You gripped your phone harder and nodded to yourself.
This was ending now.
You would make sure of it.