Kate woke up on her back and blinked the sleep from her eyes as she stretched her arms over her head. Leo's hand was hot on her hip, his arm draped across her stomach. He gave a sigh in his sleep and woke up long enough to squint at her with a sleepy smile before he burrowed his head back into the pillow and fell asleep again.
She sat up and leaned her back against the headboard as she picked up her cell phone from the nightstand. Nikki had texted, asking about her schedule and when she wanted to meet up for drinks during her shore leave. Kate sighed and tried to figure out how she could keep this–she reached for the right word for what existed between them–situation with Leo a secret from Nikki.
Leo's skin was tan against the bright white of the hotel sheets and Kate gave into the urge to trace her fingers over the muscles in his shoulders. He was serving on the Launceston now, and after things had definitively ended between Mike and herself, after the explosion that had killed one of her good friends and her…she removed her hand from Leo's back. Anyway, it had taken a lot of work for her to get to this place–where she could wake up in a hotel bed with a casual partner and realize she was enjoying herself.
What she still struggled with was the image of the explosion…it appeared in her thoughts unbidden and always left her a little shaky. Jim had almost been her fiancé; he had died still waiting for Kate to sort out her feelings. She sometimes found herself imagining an alternate world where she and Jim had gotten married and started a family. On another branch of this alternate world, she had ended up sharing a future with Mike. Luckily, she had a good therapist to help her stay grounded in reality.
Therapy and time were her two healing factors. She'd had a year to grieve and now several months of active recovery–of living in the moment…she glanced down at the curve of Leo's ass where it disappeared under the doona…and of casually hooking up with Kosov-Meyer. Kate chuckled to herself as she imagined that past version of herself–so torn between Mike and Jim and so unhappy–seeing her as she was now: in bed with one of her former junior sailors.
Leo was the complete opposite of Mike, of Jim, of anyone she had ever been involved with. And it was extremely freeing. She didn't need to constantly impress him with her career–he was already impressed. Hooking up with him may be a poor decision but it was a safe decision. She already knew that Leo respected her and, as chaotic as he still was, she trusted him. When she woke up in the middle of the night, panicked from the nightmares that sometimes found her, she knew he understood; he had his own nightmares.
She put down her phone without typing a response to Nikki and slid back down onto the bed, pressing herself against Leo and waking him up with a kiss. His body responded before he'd fully woken up and he kissed her back, pulling her close.
Kate leaned in the doorway of the bathroom, freshly showered and ready to go, watching Leo flip through the channels on the television and sip the last of the coffee from their early-morning room service. He was standing too close to the large screen tv but shut it off and tossed the remote onto the bed when she walked over. He lifted his arm for her to easily fit in against his side.
"We need to leave now or we'll be late for our reservation," She reminded him.
He turned his face into her hair and muttered something about staying in bed all day.
"Really? After the busy morning we've had, you aren't hungry?" She pulled back and gave him a suggestive smile that hinted at the fact they'd just spent all morning having sex in the massive hotel bed.
He smiled back at her and shook his head, "You're incorrigible. To think, all those years on the Hammersley and I had no idea…" He trailed off, bringing his face slowly closer to hers until his mouth found hers. She slid her hands into his back pockets, pulling him closer as she deepened their kiss.
With a sigh, he pulled away, "You're right, though. We don't want to miss our reservation. This place has the best menu and I need you to try the peach bellini."
She laughed as she grabbed her purse and headed for the door. "Of course, the drinks are the big draw for you," She teased.
"Hey, most men don't know what they're missing by refusing to enjoy girly drinks," He defended himself against the stigma of gendered drinking habits. "Why deny yourself the pleasure of prosecco before noon?"
He followed her out the door, hand going naturally to the small of her back as they headed down the hall to the elevator.
"Am I that boring?" Leo's tone was light but when Kate glanced up she noticed he looked mildly hurt.
"No," She shook her head. "I'm sorry…it's just that Nikki texted me again." Kate hadn't wanted to discuss this at brunch–she hadn't really wanted to discuss it at all. But here it was, the question of what was between them and whether they were making it public to their friends.
"Is she alright?" His expression changed to concern, worried that Kate texting during brunch meant there was something wrong.
She didn't answer but took a sip of her drink before responding. "She wants to know what I'm up to on leave and if I have time to hang out."
"Then yeah…I'm a boring date and you'd rather text Nikki than listen to me ramble on." It was a joke, but Kate noticed how suddenly insecure he seemed at the thought of her not enjoying being at a restaurant with him. It was true that most of their time together was spent in private–hotels or quiet corners in less-than-popular pubs–and not out at fancy brunch spots.
"Leo, that's not what's happening," She explained. "If I meet up with Nikki, I just know I'll end up letting the cat out of the bag…and I don't even know how we feel about that. What are we? What are we telling people?" She motioned between them, pulling him into her question.
"What do you want us to be?" His eyes glinted with curiosity now that she had broached the one topic they had avoided for their entire time together.
"Don't put this all on me. I'm just saying–maybe it's time we make a decision about it. If we want to keep this private then I'll make sure I don't mention anything to Nikki."
Leo fiddled with the flatware in front of him, looking down at the table instead of meeting her eye. Kate waited for him to weigh in but now that she'd mentioned it, she wanted to know the answer. Not only in terms of what she should tell Nikki, but for herself, as well.
She grew impatient and interrupted his unusual silence, "We're very good as friends…" She glanced around to make sure nobody was eavesdropping, "with benefits."
At that, he looked up and grinned at her. "No argument there," He nodded. He purposefully moved his hands off the table to prevent himself from fidgeting.
Kate realized she needed to do more to prod him into participating in this conversation. "Would we be good as more than that? Should we keep things as is? Or maybe this has run its course?" She threw out all the options she could think of and then threw out a joke to distract from the fact she had started floundering, "You might not want to admit to seeing someone this old."
The age difference was mostly negated by the fact that they had the shared experience of the Navy and so many friends in common. Still, it was something she did occasionally worry about; there was almost an entire decade between them.
"I don't care about age, Kate." There was a sharp edge to his voice that she hadn't heard since they stopped working together. "What is this about? What are you trying to say?" His blue eyes felt as if they would pierce into her thoughts. She sometimes forgot how intense he could get when he became focused.
She stammered for a moment before she found her voice, "Well…what are we? This has been great, obviously," She blushed as she remembered just how great this morning had been, "but I don't want to hang around until you move onto the next thing…the next woman."
Leo's eyes widened in surprise and he opened and closed his mouth, seemingly at a loss for words for the first time in his life.
Kate watched him fail to come up with a response and shrugged at him, downing the rest of her drink in one long swallow. She had woken up this morning completely content to keep things casual between them forever. Now she was surprised to realize that yes, actually, she did want to be able to tell Nikki about him.
"What do you mean 'the next woman'–there is no 'next woman,'" He narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Is this about Bomber? She and Spider are basically engaged–you know that. She and I are just friends. I'm not seeing anyone else. I don't want to see anyone else." His voice had become increasingly loud.
"Look, I know that we started off as a bit of a joke–I know that's probably my fault," He lowered his voice and continued, "I don't take things seriously enough but I'm working on it. I thought we had moved past that–there's nothing funny about what we have together."
It was true: they had started off as a joke. He had asked her for drinks as a lark and she had giggled for hours at the idea that she had accepted. He ran a hand over his face and she saw the muscles in his jaw clench.
His mouth was set in a grim line and there was a deep wrinkle between his eyebrows that only showed when he was stressed. She reached across the table and touched his face, rubbing her fingertips over the furrow in his brow until he relaxed his features. He leaned slightly into her touch before he pulled back.
"Are you seeing someone else? Do you want to see other people?" He sounded both curious and terrified.
"What? No, of course I'm not seeing anyone else. Don't be ridiculous. After six months–more than that, really–you should know me better," She scoffed at the idea.
"Ok, then," He sounded exasperated. "So, I'm not seeing anyone else and I don't plan on it. And you're not seeing anyone else…so why would we stop seeing each other?" He paused for a moment before cutting her off as she opened her mouth to explain again. "And don't tell me it's because of the age difference because that doesn't matter. And don't say it's because of the Navy because you're not my commanding officer. Besides, I'd quit in a heartbeat if you thought that I might be holding back your career." He paused and added as an afterthought, "As for six months…happy anniversary." He waved sarcastically around them, and she suddenly understood why he'd been hurt by the fact she was looking at her phone earlier. He'd made reservations for this fancy restaurant…he'd taken her out for their anniversary, despite the fact that friends-with-benefits shouldn't celebrate anniversaries.
She briefly thought back to the first time they'd met up, just the two of them. God, he'd been almost insufferably cocky once he knew that she was interested in him. She'd had to kiss him just to shut him up, that first time. She had been so sure it was a one-night stand, an amusing distraction, and yet here they were.
"I'm pretty handy with electronics, if you hadn't noticed," He had kept talking while she had been lost in her thoughts and she scrambled to catch up, "there's always need for more tradies. And Charge has some mates with a house painting business if I need something short term before I get myself set up."
"I didn't know you'd thought about it," Kate was somewhat taken aback by the certainty with which he had responded to her.
"Kate, you may still think I'm reckless, but I'm also a schemer, and a schemer is a master planner. I've got at least four back up plans ready to put into action to keep you from leaving." Despite the humor in his voice, his face stayed serious, his blue eyes locked on hers.
"...To keep me from leaving?" She repeated his words and a small smile formed on her lips.
"Yeah, now that you've forced us to have this conversation–at brunch–I may as well just admit it…" He sighed and reached across the table to hold her hand. "I'm happy with what we're doing. But if you want to take this to the next level–whatever that means to you–I'm very much on board."
It was unclear to her when, exactly, she had started being open to the idea of moving things forward with him. She had been more than happy with the status quo for their entire time together. But she now admitted to herself: the fact that he didn't want to see anyone else had given her a thrill.
"It's totally insane, though, right? You and me?" She tightened her grip on his hand, suddenly nervous about his answer.
"Oh, for sure, it's one of the craziest things I've ever heard," He readily agreed with her but his huge smile put her at ease. "The thing you may have forgotten about me, is that Crazy is my middle name."
"I definitely have not forgotten," She returned his smile.
"We should get out of here," Leo checked his watch, "we've only got the hotel room for about twelve more hours."
A YEAR LATER
Nikki sat across from Kate at a little cafe table on the patio of a coffee shop. They sipped slowly at their hot drinks as Kate tried to explain to Nikki the hard turn her love life had taken.
The two women had remained close after ET's death and Nikki's decision to leave the Navy, but they mostly stayed in touch via text or email. Rarely did they get the chance to meet in person. As Nikki reached again for Kate's hand to examine with awe the small opal engagement ring on her friend's finger, she asked bluntly, "So, tell me the full story. How, exactly, did 2Dads happen?"
Kate let out a small laugh. "That's exactly it. 2Dads just happened. Before I knew it, I was in love with him." She shrugged at her lack of explanation.
"You didn't just fall in love with 2Dads! Last I heard, you were taking things slow and figuring out if he was more than a hookup. Now suddenly–this." Nikki leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms. She demanded a better explanation.
"I suppose it was less that I 'fell in love' and more that I grew to love him," Kate mused. "I had always admired his perseverance–he got into so much trouble and made poor decisions but got back up and dusted himself off and tried again. He was such an obvious underdog in his own life, and I had felt like the underdog in my own life for so long–a woman in the Navy, you know how it is–and suddenly it clicked that we had so much in common.
"I know we're going to end up as Navy gossip when news gets out, but I never expected that I could be so…" She paused to come up with the proper word, "at ease in a relationship."
Nikki uncrossed her arms and leaned forward, elbows on the table. "And nothing happened while you were on board?" She sounded skeptical.
Kate laughed at the absurd idea. "You know I would never put myself or anyone else in that position. I can quote you the entire regulation regarding fraternization if you'd like."
"I just can't get past how horrible he was to me when he first got posted with us. Josh had just died and then here's his replacement–not taking anything serious–reminding me constantly that Josh was dead just by his presence."
"He's changed a lot," Kate wouldn't defend his actions back then to Nikki–it was up to Leo to make amends for his behavior. But she did want to explain how much he had grown since then. "He had his own encounters with death and it…" She trailed off for a moment, thinking how his struggles had made him more considerate, more deliberate in his decisions, and more compassionate. "...It made him a better person."
Nikki nodded and Kate knew she was remembering Josh's own transformation after he'd had his own harrowing brush with death. Before his life had been cruelly and intentionally cut short. She cleared her throat before she had a chance to get lost in her memories.
"Well, I look forward to meeting the new version of 2Dads." Nikki smiled at Kate and settled back into her chair. "Next topic: did you hear about Spider and Bomber?" She arched her eyebrow, excited to share some news.
Charge leaned his ass against the bench and watched as 2Dads stood on a ladder in the middle of Charge's kitchen, wiring a new light fixture.
"So, tell me again, because I feel like I hallucinated it, but you asked the X to marry you?"
"For Christ's sake, Charge, her name is Kate. She hasn't been anybody's XO for a good year now." Leo's voice was muffled since he was talking directly into a hole in the ceiling as he worked on the wiring.
"Sorry, I meant, 'you asked Lieutenant Commander McGregor to marry you'?" Charge grinned cheekily up at his younger friend. He and Kate were contemporaries; there was a good ten-year age gap between themselves and Leo that Charge couldn't quite get past. He was also struggling to accept that Leo had given up on the Navy to become a tradie whereas Kate had continued her ascent of the ranks.
"I did, yeah, and I'll tell you again for the thousandth time, she said yes," Charge couldn't see Leo's expression, but he heard the smile in his voice.
Charge let out an exaggerated whistle of disbelief. "Miracles really do happen," He said pointedly at the ceiling.
Leo made a few more tweaks to the wiring and then climbed down a few rungs on the ladder.
"Fuck off, mate, you're just jealous that I'm getting married before you," Leo gave his best smug grin.
"Pfft," Charge scoffed, "You forget I've already been married twice. And divorced twice."
"Annulled," Leo corrected him.
"Fine, yes. Married twice. Divorced once. Annulled once," Charge sighed but then brightened up. "Does Kate have any single cousins?"
2Dads laughed as he climbed all the way down the ladder. "I don't think so. But if I learn of any single ladies attending our wedding, I'll make sure you're the first to know."
Mike and Dutchy sat on the bridge. It was the middle of the night and most of the crew were fast asleep as the Hammersley slowly cruised up the coast.
"Did you hear Kate is engaged?" Dutchy broached the subject cautiously. He knew the CO and Kate had a history, but he wasn't sure of the extent. He didn't want Mike to be blindsided by the inevitable crew gossip about Kate and 2Dads's engagement.
"Kate? McGregor?" Mike sounded surprised. "I hadn't known she was seeing anyone."
Dutchy nodded and forced himself to share the truth. "It's 2Dads."
"What's 2Dads?" Mike sounded distracted, looking at the radar screen and only half listening to Dutchy.
"Kate is engaged to 2Dads," Dutchy confirmed.
Mike looked at him blankly.
"Kosov-Meyer," Dutchy supplied his actual name. He wondered if Mike had forgotten the junior sailor after he had been posted off. Hard to imagine anyone forgetting 2Dads, though.
"You're telling me that Kate…Kate McGregor," Mike stressed her last name as if they might be talking about two different Kates, "is engaged–in the romantic sense of the word–to Kosov-Meyer?"
Dutchy shot a sideways glance at his CO before looking back at the dark ocean. "Yes, sir."
"That doesn't make any sense!" Mike sounded irritated.
Dutchy dropped his feet down from where he'd had them resting on the console and turned in his seat to look at his CO, concerned by his outburst.
"Tell me how that makes sense!" He sat forward in his seat and turned to Dutchy as if inviting him to explain it.
"I guess they started seeing each other about a year after 2Dads transferred…and one thing led to another…well, you know how it is." Dutchy gave a weak shrug. He regretted bringing it up now that he was seeing Mike's reaction.
"Sure. Yes. I do know how it is," Mike snapped. The emotion seemed to leave Mike as quickly as it had come and he settled heavily back into his chair.
Dutchy turned back around and propped his feet up again. They sat in silence for a while until Mike let out a chuckle.
"Kate and 2Dads," Mike nodded as he said their names, as if it were just now sinking in. He looked over at Dutchy and grinned. "Just imagine!" Mike shook his head before turning his attention back to the radar screen.
The X and 2Dads…it was hard to imagine, but maybe you needed to see it to believe it. Dutchy didn't need to imagine it–he'd been out to dinner with the couple on multiple occasions–he'd seen it first-hand.
He turned his own attention back to the horizon as he and the CO lapsed into comfortable silence. Dutchy shook his head at the absurdity of it, but if 2Dads could find love there was still hope for the rest of them.