Eda remembers the rest of the day in a blur. The latter of her appointment with the Healing Coven, Raine bringing her home, them staying with her to get her to eat at least something - soup she believed it was.

When she finally got to go to sleep it was very quick to come over her. This was too much. If she'd had the energy she likely would have screamed.

She didn't know how to feel.

It's early when she wakes up the next day. Owlbert had perked up to snuggle with her, likely sensing something was off. Part of her wanted to think it's a dream, but when she sees the note from Raine on her door she knows it's not.

'Eda,

It's rather late and I'm going back to my apartment for the night. I'll be back in the morning. I know this is a lot, so if you happen to see this before I get there just know I'm so sorry. We'll get through this together, no matter what you decide.

Please get some rest,

Love, Rainestorm'

A bitter taste fills her mouth. What was she going to do? About any of this?

It's a harsh feeling, sitting there on the edge of her nest while Owlbert tries over and over again for her to speak. Eda's body feels like it's on autopilot. She's too submerged in her own thoughts to even comprehend the world around her anymore.

She'd fucked up big time.

And now she was…

No. There was no way. It couldn't be possible. Wouldn't her curse have made that impossible? After all, it was infamous for making her life a living hell. Not like this, though.

Internally she cursed at herself. How could she be so stupid?! It had to have happened for some reason! If the owl beast hadn't interfered by now, it would soon.

She didn't want to imagine it. She'd heard of it a few times, mostly while mindlessly scrolling through penstagram, about the pain of a miscarriage.

She expected it if she didn't do anything.

She didn't know when, but if anything was clear, there was no way she would end up having a kid.

Even if she could, she probably wouldn't. She never wanted kids. Eda figured she wasn't exactly the maternal type; it ruined her rebellious independent style, so she told herself.

Then there's the trauma of her own mother. Gwendolyn had her heart in the right place, Eda understood that, but she was too much. Even before Eda had been cursed, Gwen was a nosy individual, always trying to get involved in Eda's life. That was whether Eda wanted her to or not.

The answer was quite obvious, was it not?

She didn't want to tell Raine. If she'd known she wouldn't have gotten them involved at all. But of course, she thought it couldn't be more than just a silly little stomach bug. She'd rather one of those creatures been eating her stomach than it be like it was now.

At least it'd be over soon, right? Have it all done with, a bad memory would be all.

The red headed witch landed on her back in her nest. Eda didn't want to get up. She wished she were as tired as last night, but now despite still feeling tired, it wasn't enough to shut her mind up. She had to sit there in her thoughts.

Owlbert coos at her again, finally getting into her brain, as she translates it to him asking how she is. Her hands immediately were on her face as she groaned.

"What do I do, Owlbert!" Eda exclaimed, "What the hell am I going to do?!"

Her palisman seemed unsure of how to respond, but instead nuzzled into the crook of her neck. Eda ignored the gesture, still scrambled in her own thoughts.

Eda stays in the position for hours, thinking about everything. It hadn't been until then that Eda realized how unstable her relationship with Raine was. She'd seen their expression that morning, she'd noticed how they'd been acting lately, but it wasn't until now that it all settled in.

She was shocked they hadn't broken up with her, with how distant they had been.

…

How would they react, really? If Eda told them the truth? That she just wanted it gone?

They assured her it was her decision, that they'd support no matter what, but the thoughts plagued her. The thought of them actually being hurt, having a part of them loathe her just because she wouldn't go through bearing a child. Something Eda knew they wanted. It was something they wanted but Eda wasn't sure she could even give. Just another disappointment from her.

She hadn't moved an inch from her spot, aside from relaxing her arms long after they'd grown tired. Her body ached, begging her to choose a comfortable position, but she ignored it.

"Eda?" The confused voice of Raine filled her ears several hours later. She snapped back to reality and found them standing just in front of her, concern filled in their eyes.

Why couldn't they just leave her alone?!

"Raine!" Eda exclaimed, sitting up quickly and smoothing her hair down, "W-What are you doing here?"

"We uh… need to talk, you know?" Raine said. Eda frowned at this, shaking her head.

"I know, I know, sorry." She put a hand up in apologies. Raine accepted it and sat beside her in her nest.

"How did you sleep?" They asked.

"Fine, I suppose," Eda shrugged, "About as good as I can."

"I see…" Raine said, hesitating before asking their next question, "Well, are you doing okay?"

"What makes you think I'm not?" The red headed witch said.

"Well… do you remember what happened yesterday? It has to be a pretty big deal to you," They pulled their knees up to their chest, "I mean, we did everything we could've done to prevent this. Protective charms and all. Even some kids know that it's good to do those because… that… always has a chance of… this."

"Do we really have to talk about this right now?" Eda groaned, "I don't feel up to it."

"Of course you aren't…" Raine leaned forward into Eda's view, "You aren't going to admit you're going through a lot, and you don't have to talk, just tell me what you want to do." Eda stayed quiet. She couldn't just… say it. She knew they wouldn't like it. She couldn't do it.

"How about something for breakfast!" She stood up, jamming a finger up in the air.

"Aren't you still feeling nauseous?" Raine questioned, standing up behind her.

"Nah, I'm fine." It wasn't totally a lie - she didn't feel sick at the moment.

By the time the two got downstairs though, it was a different story.

But Eda didn't want to be sick in front of Raine again. They didn't need to worry about her. She was totally fine.

Eda's hands clutched at her stomach as Raine opened her fridge. There were only a few items left in it, but some of the stenches she smelled made her want to gag.

"Griffin eggs and cheese?" The mint haired witch first suggested.

"Pass," Eda said. Blegh. That sounded gross to her.

"Uh… alright then, how about… a human realm delicacy… 'baloney'?" Raine pulled out a bag of thinly sliced meat that Eda had stolen from the human realm not too long ago.

It actually didn't sound too bad right now. She figured she could stomach it.

"Sure," Eda said. She approached Raine and they handed the bag to her. She opened it and sighed. The human realm had some weird foods. Taking a bite Eda watched as Raine rummaged through her cabinets. Likely looking for something other than a foreign meat.

Eventually they found what they were looking for and tossed it to Eda.

A box of crackers.

Bland.

Perfect for Eda as she was currently.

She stood by the counter in silence with Raine as she ate. Once she'd eaten close to a light snack, she called it quits and put the food away.

"So. Are you ready to talk yet?" Raine asked her. Eda once again sighed and shook her head.

"I need to brew a few potions, if you want you can watch crystal ball in the meantime-"

"EDA!" Raine shouted. Their face was full of frustration.

The orange haired witch froze.

"We need to talk. And in this case, this isn't a talk that can wait until you're in the mood for it, we have to talk about it now," They said, "And you sitting there, trying to deflect from the situation, isn't helping!" Raine threw their arms out for extra emphasis.

Eda blinked as she stared them in the eye. They'd moved to stand in front of her now.

Fuck.

Eda hesitated before nodding. Raine, satisfied with that, took her arm and guided her to the living room.

"We should probably distract Hooty with something. He might get nosy," She said as she sat down on the sofa.

"Alright, I have an idea," Raine hadn't sat down yet, so they approached the door and opened it. They whispered something to Hooty, which made his eyes widen with excitement and immediately sent him away.

Wow.

They'd gotten good at this, hadn't they.

Another reason she loved them, Eda figured.

"Good catch," Eda said. Raine blushed slightly, closing the front door back.

"I told him about a secret bug, rarer and tastier than all others on the Boiling Isles; I'd say we have half an hour," They said, sitting down on the sofa with Eda, "So."

"So?"

"What are you going to do about this?" Raine asked again.

Eda still wanted to run from this question. Should she be honest? Tell them she wasn't sure about any of this? Or should she just go through with it, potentially make them happy and keep them around. Maybe it could bring them closer together, who knew by this point! Or maybe it would end like she guessed, with it leading to nothing and things going back to their new normal after an era of heartbreak, because Eda can't do a basic thing all witches should be able to do.

But if she said no, Raine might ask why. She didn't want to explain why she was so conflicted. Not only was the idea of kids something she'd never thought about, she also didn't know how the curse would affect it all.

That's right.

The curse.

Raine would know the curse was the reason, wouldn't they? They'd press and ask for more, and the more that happened, the more likely it'd be that Raine would have to see that ugly beast again. That would make them go, she knew it.

But a kid… really? The only reasonable benefit was it would make Raine happy. Eda couldn't see herself being a parental figure to a kid. Sure, she could see Raine, but her? Eda? The Owl Lady?

"Eda… please, I just want to know what you're thinking, it can just be an idea of what you're wanting to do." Raine said, placing their hand on Eda's cheek. Oh right. They wanted a response now.

"You've always wanted kids, haven't you…" Eda said. Raine looked a little stunned by the statement.

"I…" Raine shook their head, "Eda, no, this is your decision, this has nothing to do with me."

"I'm just saying, it's… I don't know, it's something that's crossed my mind… a few times," Eda thought aloud. She felt embarrassed admitting it, though those fantasies involved just seeing Raine as a parent. For some reason, it was something that made her feel… something.

She was still horrified nonetheless.

She didn't want to upset Raine.

At the end of the day she…

She…

She was crying now.

Raine's eyes widened as they quickly pulled Eda into an embrace.

"Eda… What is it?" The bard asked. Eda tried wiping her tears away.

"N-Nothing, I'm doing fine, really," Her and her motor mouth. She was far from fine. She was horrified. She just wanted out.

"W-Why are you crying, then?" Raine said, "You're allowed to not want this, Eda. I really hope you know that."

"It's not… it's not sad tears, Raine," She said. It was a lie. A full on lie. She was in emotional anguish right now. But she couldn't take that back yet.

"They're not?" Raine froze in their grip. Eda slowly began nodding.

It was a few moments of silence, aside from Eda's sniffles.

Then Raine loosened back up and leaned back. They looked at Eda surprised, but when she nodded again there was a smile.

She missed that smile.

"You're serious?" They looked so happy. Eda couldn't just break that happiness now. If they were happy, she could be happy too.

She smiled and nodded a third time, placing her hands on their shoulders.

"Why not?" She said. At least that wasn't exactly a lie.

Why not?

If she really could give Raine something she'd originally thought she couldn't… why not? There were risks but… why not. Things could go back to this if it were the worst case, right? She'd still have Raine in the end.

"So you're going to keep it… the… the…"

"Kid," Eda finished their sentence. That was weird to say.

"Wow! Kid! Wow! You're really wanting this, I… wow," The mint haired witch pushed their glasses up, wiping their eyes. Eda realized there had been a few tears beginning to form. They were happy! They were so happy!

After a little while, Eda and Raine begin to discuss the other issue. Raine and Eda didn't exactly live together, and as Eda pointed out, people who had kids together… typically would live together.

When that notion came to fruition, Raine decided they'd move in with Eda. After all, it was a long time coming, wasn't it?

That was also according to Eda. In her fantasy, at least.

When they both agreed to it, Raine quickly asked if Eda would be fine for a bit and once they got their response, the bard witch soon enough left to go get their things.

When they left and the front door closed, Eda's hands immediately went to her stomach.

Holy shit.

The next few minutes were a blur. She immediately felt the suffocation she'd experienced with her emotions finally release.

She couldn't just sit here and cry though, could she?

Yet it was all she could do. Her body that had also screamed at her recently that she was in pain and needed to lie down guided her to the sofa and she collapsed onto it.

She'd fucked up bad.

Owlbert once again appeared and came to comfort her. He hooted to her, trying to snap her out of her breakdown, but all Eda could do was sit there in her puddle of tears and be nothing but mad at herself.

She'd caught herself in a lie, and now she wouldn't be able to escape.

Eda, in another life, figured she'd probably have a kid. This one though? Never had she really wanted it for herself. She couldn't be a mother. She couldn't even take care of herself. How was she supposed to care for a helpless little witch?! Even if she had Raine, she still couldn't help but doubt herself.

But no.

Raine was happy.

And if Raine was happy, she had to be happy.

Whether she actually wanted it or not, she was pregnant.

She was pregnant and she wasn't getting rid of it.

And she figured it was possible it would be worth it, just so she could see Raine be happy like they once were with her.

June 4th, 1999

Dear Diary,

It's been a minute since I've really ranted in here but I've fucked up big time and I'm a little lost. Guess going back to a book I haven't written in since I was 16 was my only option since I'm too afraid to admit anything I'm about to write out loud.

Raine and I are still together, in case you were wondering, and this does have to do with them. Apparently something happened when we… did the deed? I don't know how else to put it but you know what I mean. And now I

I

I'm stuck in a weird position.

I didn't want to hurt Raine, so I decided I'd be keeping it. The kid that is. It feels really weird to write that down. I kind of don't want to write the specific words, it feels too weird. But I'm certain this will only be temporary, it has to be, the curse wouldn't allow something like this. After all, bird brain has been really quiet. I'm preparing for the worst.

And to make matters I guess a little worse, Raine is moving in. Didn't mention that, I technically have been living semi alone aside from my built in home security. Dad's old tower happened to be pretty unused and the only one who regularly comes here is Gwendolyn and it's only because she knows I'm here.

I really have fucked up.

I guess now that I've decided to go along with this I have to wait. I can't be the one to break Raine's heart like that. Nature will just have to take its course and then it will be out of my control. All will be well and we'll go back to how things were, maybe closer together again since they're moving in. Maybe that's part of why we've been so distant. Maybe that's why this is happening to me.

I guess I just have to say I'm not ready for that day. It's going to hurt. A lot. I'm not attached to it or anything but to know that's going to happen and the fact I'm going to have to see Raine's genuine raw reaction to it… I don't know. I don't want it to happen. But I also know it will.

Might as well keep you updated, I'll let you know how things go afterwards.

Write soon,

Eda

P. S.: After they left I cried. If that really emphasizes how I feel about all of this.