General pov: this chapter will be based off of season 3x17 where jay is working security as a side job at a weed place he is in charge of delivery money to the bank since it's a huge amount, on the way to the bank their car got ambushed and ended in a shoot out where his friend Terry got shot and later died at the hospital, they did catch the guy after a couple days
E= hey babe are you here
J= yes I'm here I'm in your room
E= hey you oh what are you doing
J= I'm getting ready for Terry's funeral it's here In about an hour
E= oh yeah you told me are you going there by yourself
J= yeah I want to pay my respects to his wife
E= that's understandable um can I ask you something
J= yeah you sure can
E= would you mind if I came along with. You to the funeral or would you rather go by yourself
J= oh of course I would love if you came with me only if you want to
E= I do want to come with you jay I want to be there for you like how you always are there for me just give me five minutes to get my self dress
J= all right ( she leaves)
E= okay I'm dress ( see him shaking) do you need any help babe
J= yeah can you help me button the last two up
My hands are shaking for some reason
E= of course I can and it's understandable your adrenaline is wearing off ( helps him)
J= why thanks
E= your welcome so you know what
J= what Erin
E= I don't think I ever saw you in this military uniform before
J= oh really
E= yeah I think you look very handsome in this I like it
J= why thanks I use to wear it all the time before I became a cop but now I only wear it when someone that was in the military died which sucks to be honest
E= oh yeah I bet so how long ago did you wear this last
J= I think it's been about five years since I wore it last and I'm actually surprised it still fits me after so long especially me getting a little more muscles on my body
E= well you still look amazing in it babe
J= why thank you
E= ( notice jay acting off) are you OK you seem off all the sudden
J= yeah I'm fine I just remembered something that Terry's wife told me earlier today
E= oh yeah what did she tell you
J= well it's better if I show you ( pulls the paper out and shows her) she gave me this when I went to visit her she said it came in the mail last week
E= ( she reads it) Wait Terry was going to be joining the police academy
J= Yeah and I guess the reason he applied to be at the police academy was because he walked up to me and wanted to be just like me
E= oh jay that's so special
J= yes I just hate that The worst part of him dying is that the little boy and his wife is carrying whatever get to know his dad
E= yeah that has got to suck maybe in the future we will check in on them to make sure they are doing fine
J= that sounds like a great idea we should
E= but right now I say let's go before we are late for his funeral
J= yeah that's a good idea let's go
They head off to the funeral home they arrive within 20 minutes
E= are you ready to go in
J= yeah I am can you come say hello to his wife with me
E= of course Jay I'll be with you throughout it all if you want me too
J= oh yeah ( grabs her hand)
TW= hey Jay it's so good to see you
J= same here so how are you doing Lisa
TW= I am hanging in there
J= that's good to hear oh yeah so Lisa this is my girlfriend Erin Lindsay and Erin this is Terry's wife Lisa
E= hello Lisa nice to meet you sorry it had to be on this term
TW= Same here but thank you for coming anyways
E= it's no problem I'm here to support you guys
The service get started soon so Erin And jay go sit back toward the back of the church the whole service takes a total of an hour and a half after the service was done Jay and Erin say goodbye to Lisa and head out
E= so are you ready to go home
J= yes I am but I'm going to leave right away once I get home and change
E= oh really why
J= well Mouse invited me to have a drink with him at Molly's to talk about things
E= Oh that's cool do you want me to go with you or not
J= no I'll be good but thanks for offering
E= it's no problem babe
Erin drives in back to her place once I get there Jay quickly changes out of his military uniform into regular clothes and heads off tamales to meet up with mouse and also Ethan Choi from med, while he's gone Erin hangs out at home, they chitchat about military stories for a couple hours and then Jay decides to leave But first cousins stats by the district to say things to hang for not taking them off The case involving Terry, then hang decides to give him a mandatory week off so Jay can relax and not focus on anything, he takes it and then heads off to the locker room and all the sudden bikes down, with Erin She remembered she needed to grab something from her dad so she goes to the district to go get it
P= hey Erin what are you doing here so late
E= well I forgot something I need that is in my desk
P= well you could've asked Jay to grab it for you since he is here
E= wait he is as far as I know he was at Mollys with mouse
P= well he showed up about 30 minutes ago and I haven't seen him come downstairs yet so he might have left out the back way without me seeing him I would check with Hank to see if he knows anything
E= all right I'll check with him thanks Platt
P= you're welcome Erin have a great night
E= you too Platt ( upstairs ) hey hank
HV= hey kiddo what are you doing here so late
E= I just forgot something earlier that I needed for my desk
HV= oh okay
E= so Platt just told me that Jay was here is that true or not
HV= he was here I'm not sure if he still is here or not
E= all right I guess I'll go look for him
HV= yeah but before you go look for him I have to tell you something regarding Jay
E= oh no I hope it's not bad
HV= no it's not I promise
E= okay that's good to hear
HV= so with what has happened the last couple days with Jay I am making him take a mandatory week off just to relax and not think about work
E= oh really that doesn't sound too bad I think he needs it
HV= he for sure does he also needs you this next week too
E= OK what do you mean Hank
HV= besides him I'm giving you a week break so you can be there for him if he needs you
E= Well I'm actually surprised you did that at all
HV= well I guess I can be a nice guy sometimes
E= Oh yeah well thanks for the sink
HV= you're welcome
Erin Leave Hanks office and go to search for James Buckley for her she didn't have to look long because she found him in the Locker room crying
E= there you are Jay are you OK
J= no I am not
E= do you want to talk about it
J= not really
E= what can I do to help you
J= maybe just told me if you can
E= of course I can
Without hesitation Erin gets on the ground next to him and just hold him for a while
E= so how are you feeling now
J= i'm feeling much better now thank you
E= you are so welcome so do you think you're ready to talk about it
J= yes I guess I am
E= all right so what made you get to this point of being on the ground and crying
J= I don't know maybe it hit me all the sudden that Terry died and I was thinking I failed him for not protecting him like I should have
E= oh my Jay don't ever blame yourself for Terry getting killed you couldn't predicted that you guys would get ambush like that
J= I know but I still feel it's my fault
E= okay I think we need to go to my place so we can talk more about it in private
J= all right let's go
They get off the floor go out the back way and head off to Erin's place
E= so now that we are here can I get you anything to drink or eat before we talk more
J= um how about a beer
E= that isn't a good idea Jay
J= okay how about a water
E= okay I can do that ( five minutes later) here you go
J= why thank you
E= you're welcome so do you feel any better now that you are not in the locker room
J= yes I do
E= that's good to hear so are you ready to talk yet or do you need a few more minutes
J= no I'm good
E= all right so again why do you think it's your fault that Terry died
J= well it's because something like what happened to Terry happened to me and the Rangers in that time I should've been able to protect my men because I knew something was coming
E= oh my God Jay I'm so sorry I didn't even think about that at all it makes complete sense why you would blame yourself
J= i'm sorry I didn't say anything about it earlier
E= oh no you don't have to say sorry about that Jay you have every light to say what you want to me or not so don't worry about it Jay take your time on processing everything and letting people in
J= why thank you did I ever tell you that you are the best girlfriend ever in the world
E= no you haven't but thank you
J= I also wish that maybe instead of Terry that got shot and killed I was the one that did so that Terry could be alive and get to see his kid grow up
E= wait really jay
J= yes Willie I think it would be better if I died and not Terry
E= no it wouldn't ( walks away)
J= wait a minute Erin did I say something wrong
E= yes she did
J= OK what did I say that was so wrong ( see her crying) oh no why are you crying
E= you said you wish you died instead of Terry because you think it would be better but it wouldn't jay
J= why wouldn't it
E= because you have so many people who care about you Like your brother will he would be so sad if you were gone
J= He has a big boy he can deal with it on his own
E= what about your dad Jay
J= what about him
E= wouldn't he be sad to lose a son on top of losing your mom
J= he doesn't care much about us he hasn't really cared about us since we were little kids so he gets no opinion on if I die or not
E= OK then you know who will care the most if you die
J= who would Erin
E= it would be me Jay I would care the most if you died don't you get that by now I can't lose another person I care about
J= well I'm so sorry Erin I didn't even think about you
E= so you don't care about me or how I would feel if something ever happened to you
J= oh God no Erik I don't even know what I was saying I've been going through a lot in this past few days and then me breaking down after the difficult day I had I'm so sorry for whatever I said to you Erin
E= I get that J but everything I ever been through in my past when someone said anything that you said to me has hurt me and I don't think you would ever say that to me like that Jay because I thought you would be different then the other guys that I've dated but when you said that it took me back to years ago a pain and I went to I never thought I would go back there ever ( starts to cry more ) I get you going through things but I'm here to help you no matter what and I don't like when you say mean things to me it reminds me of my past that I like to forget
J= come here Erin ( hugs her) first of all I'm sorry for everything I just said tonight second of all These past few days has really brought up some bad what time memories that I have and sometimes when that happens I black out and don't even know what I do or say out loud to anybody in last of all you are the most important person in my life you make my Day so much better just by looking into your hazel eyes every day
E= so I am the most important person in your life and I make your day a thousand percent better
J= yes you are the top of my list of the most important people in my life and also I don't know what I would do if I couldn't look into your hazel eyes every day My days would not be the best
E= OK so do you mean what you just said a little bit ago about you rather die than Terry
J= Hell no I would miss you so much and I don't want to cause you anymore pain because you've lost so many other people, besides I just said that because I wish I can change what happened to Terry and let him get to know his kid when it's born
E= that's good to hear and that is what makes you an amazing man Jay you would rather sacrifice your life for someone else especially since they are going to be a father and you want that kid to grow up with an amazing father that you didn't get to have
J= oh yeah I want him to be an amazing father that I know he could because unlike me I don't think I'll ever be a good father
E= oh no Jay why would you think that about yourself
J= just the way mine and my dad's relationship is I have a feeling I would be like him when I grow up and have kids
E= there's no way in hell you would be a bad father like your dad was Jay
J= how do you know that
E= because Jay I know you also besides me kids really do come to you when we have to interview them, and also know that you experience what a bad relationship is with your dad and how your dad was you have learned what not to do with our own kids so that will make you 100% better for our kids
J= Oh really are kids so do you want kids
E= I never thought about having them when I was younger but once I met you I knew he would be the perfect dad so maybe one day soon we can have kids
J= yeah maybe one day that sounds great to me
E= Oh yesterday I have a question.
J= you do what is it
E= so with all this PTSD you have gone through the last couple days do you think maybe you should talk to somebody about it like a therapist
J= no I haven't
E= I think it would be a good idea
J= yeah maybe I will go talk to someone tomorrow thank you for suggesting it
E= You're welcome but for now I say let's go to bed
J= good idea let's go
They head off to bed they each get changed and then get ready to hop in the bed
E= oh I forgot to tell you something earlier
J= you did what did you forget to tell me babe
E= so before I came to find you in the locker room I was talking with Hank and he told me that he gave you a mandatory week off
J= oh yes he did
E= well he also let me have a week off of work too
J= oh he did
E= yes maybe he's starting to like you
J= I think he's starting to like me too
E= oh really why is that you say
J= Hank made this comment when I was in his office earlier " i'm glad you're in my unit"
E= well he did
J= yes he did
E= well I am surprised
J= I am too
E= So since we have the week off together I have no idea you might like
J= you do what is it
E= well you know how you talked about your cabin in Wisconsin all the time
J= oh yeah what about it
E= well how would you feel about going up there for the week to relax and get away from the city and all the drama that we have gone though the last couple weeks
J= that doesn't sound like a bad idea let's do it
E= all right then let's definitely go to bed since we have a early morning ahead of us
J= all right
They go to sleep pretty easily after a long day, The next morning they head off to Wisconsin to enjoy a week long peaceful trip away from the city and everything that they've gone through it really helps Jay,
Authors note: I hope you like this little additional stuff that I added to season three episode 17 I think this is one of them most episodes that we needed more stuff in than anything