In the dim light of her room, Marcie fiddled with her hair in the mirror. Her thick, dark locks had almost reached her waist at this point, though it had been less of a conscious decision to grow it. It was simply that she was too preoccupied to make a decision on what to do with it. She could never understand how some people managed to attain such volume, when hers always seemed determined to hang limply around her face.
Throwing the top half into a ponytail, she rushed to apply black eyeliner beneath her hazel eyes and decided to call it a day on makeup. Before she could move on, she was distracted by a photo that she'd stuck to the edge of the mirror. It was a polaroid of her and Eddie from last summer, when they still used to spend almost every waking moment together. A sad smile filled her lips at the memory, but she quickly pushed it aside.
Aware that she was running out of time, she grabbed the oversized shirt that she often used to hide behind. With a bolt of inspiration from the photo, she slipped on the baggy Led Zeppelin t-shirt that Eddie had been wearing at the time. She'd borrowed it from him so long ago that it was practically hers now anyway and chose to leave the shirt open to taunt him with it. In the back of her mind, she hoped that perhaps it might cause him some sentimentality too.
Realising that she was missing a finishing touch, she stepped out of her bedroom and began ransacking the trailer in search of her jewellery. She threw open drawers and bumped into furniture, knocking the extra Scoops Ahoy hat that she'd stolen when Robin worked there off the wall.
It didn't take long for her mother to notice her frantic state. After a sigh, she turned from her book to throw her a look of longstanding frustration.
"Why are you trashing the place, Marcie?" Lori called, struggling to make herself heard over the blaring of the tape deck from her daughter's open bedroom. "Seriously, do you have to have that racket on all the time?"
"It's Queen, Mom. I thought you were cool. You should know that." She teased, earning an eye roll in return. "I can't find my necklace. Did you move it?" She asked, before noticing it hanging on a hook in the kitchen and slipping it on.
"Oh, that! I thought it was for security." Her mother mocked as her gaze landed on the small padlock on a thin, silver chain.
Lori was unusually relaxed about her dress sense, even if it was clear that it grated on her. She had always emphasised the importance of being true to herself throughout her childhood, unaware that it would backfire on her when she became a misfit as a teenager. Still, she respected her refusal to conform and only occasionally attempted to steer her into more flattering clothing.
Before her daughter could manage one of her usual cutting retorts, they were both startled by the loud horn of a vehicle from outside. Whilst Lori seemed confused, Marcie's face lit up at the familiar sound and she dashed to grab her bag to leave.
"That's my ride! See you later." She breezed as she moved toward the door, only to be blocked by her mother.
"Well hold on a second, Madam!" She scolded, a hint of playfulness still in her eyes. "You still haven't told me how you're getting to this party. I thought you were getting the bus with Robin?"
"I never once said that Robin was coming. She hates parties." Marcie laughed, shaking her head at her mother's annoyance. "Eddie's giving me a ride with a couple of the boys."
It didn't escape her notice the way that Lori's brows shot up at this detail, nor that her gaze flitted toward the window in a gut instinct to investigate. Marcie knew that if she did, she probably wouldn't be impressed with the rundown old band van that had several botched attempts at spraying their logo on the side. Fortunately, she knew that her mother was a passionate feminist who loved to preach about trusting her daughter to make her own decisions and kept this information like an ace in her sleeve should she need to remind her of it.
"Okay. I trust your judgement." Lori breathed after what felt like a lifetime of silent deliberation. "Just be careful. You know what I tell you about men?" She continued, levelling her with a serious stare as she waited for her to repeat the mantra that had been drilled into her for countless years.
"That they are the root of all evil. I know, Mom." She answered obediently, stealthily rolling her eyes when she kissed her cheek in pride. "But we've known Eddie forever. I thought you liked him?"
"When he was a boy, maybe." She admitted reluctantly. "But he's a man now."
"Yes, he is." Marcie sighed under her breath.
For a moment, she found herself hoping and praying that this dreamy comment had been in her head, but the way that Lori's eyes thinned at her confirmed that these words had actually escaped her lips. Her mother paused to grab a cigarette, lighting it without breaking eye contact and taking a long drag before she spoke again.
"My problem is that you like Eddie and he might as well have trouble stamped on his forehead." She remarked impatiently and Marcie struggled to contain a smile at how he would revel in this analogy.
The horn sounded again, continuing on for much longer this time and Marcie knew that she was at risk of Eddie doing something frightfully embarrassing if she didn't hurry up. Throwing her bag over her shoulder, she quickly checked that she had everything she needed before turning back to Lori with a teasing smile.
"Please, Mom! As if. Eddie and I are friends, barely even that anymore." She excused, relying on the fact that they hadn't hung out recently to sell this lie.
"Friends?" She repeated, making it clear that she wasn't fooled. "I've seen you two. There's only one thing that can come from thinking you are friends with a boy who looks at you like that, and that's pregnant before you can even graduate."
"Well, I guess you would be the expert on that." She muttered and her mother threw her a warning glare.
To most parents, this kind of attitude would warrant punishment, but Lori had always been open about her teenage mistakes. She hoped that by explaining how blind love completely derailed her life, she could empower her daughter to make better choices. Thus far, it seemed to have been successful, but she was beginning to realise that she couldn't protect her from her own special brand of errors.
"Brenda told me that he's selling drugs now. Did you know that? Is that really what you want to be associated with?" Lori shot back, but Marcie simply rolled her eyes at this gossip, even if it was right on the money.
"Oh, really?" She crooned in false interest. "And how exactly does Brenda know that unless she runs in those circles herself, hmm? You might want to consider who you're associating with too." She winked as her mother finally moved to allow her to pass.
Stepping out of the trailer, she immediately caught sight of Eddie's broad grin as he stuck his head out of the driver's side window. Music blared from his stereo as usual, drawing both the attention and judgement of all her neighbours, but she'd grown plenty used to that. The only opinion that truly threatened her was that of her mothers, who she felt following her outside, her silent disapproval palpable in the air.
"Get a move on, Marce!" Eddie yelled from the van. "It's a fine line between fashionably late and actually late, remember?"
"Alright! Keep your panties on, Munson!" She called back, before turning to Lori one last time. "I'll be back by midnight as usual. Cool?"
With a nod of approval, she finally parted from her and ran toward the band van, already noticing the pungent smell of weed even from a few steps away. Eddie leaned back in the driver's seat, an impatient expression filling his handsome face and Marcie felt her heart skip a beat as their eyes met.
She threw open the passenger door in a well practised manner, only to find Gareth filling what had always been her seat.
"Shotgun rules." He drawled with a sneer and before she could even open her mouth to criticise his childish rules, Eddie slapped his arm.
"Dude, don't make me tell you again." He ordered, before leaning around his disgruntled friend who struggled into the back bench with the other two boys. "About time, Marce."
Marcie couldn't contain a fond smile as she stepped up into the van, slamming the door closed and hurriedly fastening her seatbelt after fearing for her life on almost every other journey. Despite the urgency that he had shown in getting her out of the trailer, Eddie didn't start the engine. Instead, he left his hands relaxed on the steering wheel, studying her as if he was expecting an explanation for keeping him waiting.
"Sorry." She mumbled, clearing her throat to be heard over the bickering from the back. "Mom wouldn't let me go without reminding me that you are bad news. It's almost as if she thinks you'll corrupt me." She revealed, watching as he delighted in this discovery.
"Is that so?" He crooned, finally turning the key in the ignition.
Eddie turned the van in such a sharp manoeuvre that Marcie had to grip the handle on the passenger door to stabilise herself. The boys in the back yelped, sliding into each other as he dropped the handbrake and used it to skid up to the front of her trailer. With the window open, he leaned his arm on the door casually as he called out to her mother.
"Don't worry, Ms Bell. I'll have her back by sunrise, as long as she's good!"
"Christ, Eddie! Don't antagonise her!" Marcie half gasped, half laughed, but before her mother could reach the van to give him the scolding he deserved, they had sped from the trailer park.
Whilst the pair in the front cackled with laughter, the boys in the back seemed to be struggling to feel secure enough with Eddie's manic driving. She'd never sat in the back bench, but she had a sneaking suspicion that it wasn't roadworthy and was almost certain that there weren't actually enough seatbelts for each of their friends.
After a few minutes, Matthew poked his head between them.
"I gotta say, your mom has aged like a fine wine, Marcie." He sneered, causing her stomach to turn with disgust.
"Ew, Matt!" She cried out as Eddie simply shook his head at them. "Don't make me regret agreeing to come out with you losers."
"He's not wrong." Jeff piped up despite the warning glare that she shot over her shoulder. "What I wouldn't give for a glass of that vintage."
Marcie audibly gagged at this description, before reaching back to slap at the boys who quickly recoiled. She was too revolted to manage any of her usual cutting wit, but fortunately it seemed that Eddie was quite content to fill in for her as he turned to slip her a devious smile.
"In your dreams, boys! She'd squash you like a bug." He chuckled, leaving her to groan in disappointment.
"Sure, she would and I'd love every second of it!" Gareth announced, only to be met with a cheer of agreement from the other two whilst Marcie dropped her head into her hands.
Noticing her horror, Eddie waited for her to emerge from hiding before catching her gaze. The boys behind had fallen into a heated debate ranking her mother against various celebrities and she was happy to take any topic of conversation that could serve as a distraction.
"Like mother, like daughter I'll bet." He muttered in a low voice and Marcie felt her heart practically jump into her mouth as he held her gaze. "Right, Hells Bells?"
The fond nickname caused heat to flush into her cheeks, turning her face from him before he could notice. She attempted to hide behind her hair and instead of answering him, she turned the dial on the stereo up higher. Eddie's laughter was a sound that she could recognise in any setting, as he shook his head and returned his attention to the road.
It was impossible to deny that he was flirting with her, even if she couldn't be sure of his intentions. She had spent the last 6 months attempting to create some distance between them and insisting to herself that any signs that he might reciprocate her feelings were simply playfulness. However, something about tonight felt different, as if the very atmosphere was set for endless possibilities. With a few drinks and the right mood, perhaps the time had finally come for them; perhaps she could finally bring herself to make the first move.
From the moment they arrived at the address, it was apparent that the party was in full swing. Drunk teenagers were setting off fireworks in the front yard, rock music blared from every window and the boys couldn't climb out of the van soon enough, tumbling over each other. Eddie gave her a sly smile before nodding for her to follow him.
Marcie was no wall flower, but as she joined the group that walked up the drive, she found herself drifting closer to Eddie. There was no question that these were friends of his. Almost everyone there was undoubtedly older, some that she recognised from previous years that had graduated, but others that seemed as if they had left school a long time ago. On the porch was a group passing around a bong and as they neared the door, it swung open for someone to stumble out.
Sensing her discomfort, Eddie threw an arm around her shoulders and steered her out of the way as another teen ran out to throw up over the bannister. Her heart skipped a beat at the contact, but she didn't fight it. Instead, she allowed him to guide her inside where the chaos only grew.
The other boys disappeared almost immediately, recognising the members of a rival band who they were keen to greet. Still in Eddie's embrace, Marcie glanced around to find almost every bit of furniture draped with people passed out and there was hardly any space to move from the amount of people inside.
"Right, Marce. You remember the rules of my friends' parties?" Eddie muttered, his mouth so close to her ear that it sent a shiver down her spine. "No drinks unless they come from me, don't put your drink down and let me know if you need the bathroom so I can guard the door."
"I know, Eddie. I'll be fine." She breezed, relishing the fact that he kept his arm around her until they reached the makeshift bar.
In any other situation, she would usually despise being told what to do, especially by a man, but Marcie had been to enough of these parties to understand that these rules were for her own good. Though Eddie's actual friends were trustworthy, there were always exceptions in every group. Drug fueled festivities could bring in a wide variety of people and not all of them were savoury. There had been incidents in the past of women being spiked, and she didn't care to think about what could happen if she were to go upstairs alone.
Fortunately, she trusted Eddie and his party rules to keep her safe. Afterall, they had worked for years for her and anyone else they had brought along.. As long as she watched her drinks and kept around familiar people, she would be able to comfortably enjoy herself as usual.
Eddie spent a few moments searching the bottles for one that was still sealed, before mixing her drink in a fresh cup. He took the extra precaution to taste it himself, allowing a few minutes to check that there was no immediate effect. Once satisfied, they toasted each other and took a long swig of their respective beverages. Marcie's nose scrunched up at the sour taste, but she was impressed that he remembered the strength she preferred in her mixes.
"Ouch! That's the cheap stuff." She hissed as she swallowed the burning vodka.
"I guess not everyone has a stash like Wayne's to raid." Eddie laughed, grimacing too before he noticed someone behind Marcie and she nodded to allow him to separate from her.
Used to keeping herself entertained at events like this, Marcie spent the next hour socialising with guests that she'd seen at previous parties. A large portion of this time was spent laughing at the potheads as they debated that Queen had transcended any genre, but she also had the chance to make a few new friends and beat Gareth in a competition to name songs from the first few seconds.
She had begun searching for Eddie to get another drink, when she was called by a familiar voice that she hadn't heard in years.
"Marcie?"
She whipped around to find the wide smile of a school friend who had left for college two years prior. Everything about her demeanour was different, even at first glance. She held herself in a more confident way, her smile seemed genuine rather than forced and there was a sparkle in her eyes. Although she recognised her, it was clear that leaving Hawkins had changed her completely.
"Beck! Oh my god!" Marcie exclaimed as she launched straight into a hug and buried her face in her huge blonde locks. "What are you doing here? I thought once you got out of this shithole town you were never going to look back." She teased as she stepped back to examine her old friend.
"What can I say? I still have some ties to this ass end of nowhere." Beck laughed, glancing around as if she was looking for someone. "George kept saying how much he missed me, so I took a weekend off. Apparently, your girlfriend visiting is a prime reason for a party."
"Wait, girlfriend?" She questioned, before following her friend's line of sight to see George winking back at her from across the room.
"That's right. We've been dating for the past year." She answered smugly and Marcie couldn't suppress a genuine smile in return.
"A year? Wow! That's awesome." She cheered as Beck practically glowed with joy. "The question is, do you add all the years that you were mutually pining for each other to the total, or do you only count the time that it's been official?"
"Alright. Prepare yourself, loser, because I am only going to say this once. You ready? You were right." She admitted and rolled her eyes in annoyance as Marcie punched the air in celebration.
"Yes! Sweet, sweet validation." She hissed, wincing as Beck elbowed her. "Seriously, though. I'm happy for you guys."
The crowd cheered at the start of another song and the girls got bumped closer together, clinging to each other for stability. They moved across the room to gain some space, nearing the hallway where several people were sneaking off to find available bedrooms.
"So, how have things been here?" Beck asked as they reached a spot where they could hear each other again. "Did you and Eddie finally start dating yet, or do I have to push your heads together?"
"I already told you, Beck, we're just friends." Marcie sighed, shaking her head at the blonde who seemed utterly convinced.
"Sure, friends. It's not like he bends over backwards for anything you want, or picks you up for school every day, or stares at you with total doe eyes every time you look away." She listed smugly.
"He does not give me doe eyes and I'll have you know that I take the bus most days now." Marcie breathed and nudged her playfully. "You're so dramatic."
"Alright, Miss totally just friends. Tell me something." She paused, only continuing when Marcie held her hands up to show that she was open to questioning. "Does he still reserve the front seat for you on every trip, no matter who else is there?"
Caught off guard, Marcie was unable to disregard this very specific claim. They had only attended a few parties and trips to the arcade together, but Beck was observant enough to notice the pattern. She also had the advantage of being in Eddie's original high school year group, so she saw him with his friends often when Marcie wasn't around. A small part of her wondered if she had overheard something to give her this impression, but she quickly pushed that thought aside and avoided meeting her friends' eyes.
"Oh, girl. You've got it bad!" She crooned, before reaching over to pull her into her side for a squeeze. "Well, you never know, tonight could be the night!"
"You've clearly had too much to drink, and I haven't had enough for this kinda talk!" Marcie laughed in an attempt to brush her off, before glancing around to see if she could spot Eddie. "I have to go to the restroom."
"Ah, party rules, huh?" Beck laughed. "That's okay! I'll take you."
She paused to ensure that she had completely finished her drink before placing her cup down, then leaned around to meet George's eyes and gesture on where she was going. Once he had nodded, she grabbed her friend's arm to lead her to the bathroom, content that someone would look for them if they didn't return soon enough. Marcie smiled at the hint that Eddie's rules were still a habit for her, even in her new college lifestyle.
They chatted idly as they began to walk down the hall, discussing her new look and George's thoughts on it. Several doors opened and closed to people in various states of undress, leaving them to jump out of the way with a giggle. It was nostalgic to be together like this again and Marcie felt a warmth in her chest at their reunion. However, this feeling wasn't to last.
When they turned the corner to the stairs, the pair came to a half as dramatically as if they had hit a brick wall. Marcie felt as if a bucket of ice water had been thrown over her, dousing any warmth in her body and felt Beck cringing at her side.
Further down the hall, Eddie had a girl pinned against the wall and appeared to be having such a wonderful time that he didn't even notice their presence. Her legs were wrapped around his waist, hands buried deep in his fluffy hair and he had his tongue so far down her throat that Marcie was surprised she hadn't choked.
At first, she couldn't even comprehend what she was seeing. Eddie usually made it a point to emphasise how unpopular he was with girls and she had never seen him have any success at previous parties. In fact, he usually would actively choose to spend his time catching up with boys, rather than bothering to even try. For whatever reason, though, it seemed that tonight success had found him.
After what felt like a lifetime of shock, Beck tugged her arm to remove her from the situation and she allowed herself to be dragged back into the living room without a word.
"What the hell was that? Did you know her?" Beck questioned in a frustrated tone, whilst her friend simply shook her head in a dazed state. "I'm so sorry, Marce. I didn't think for a second-"
"It's fine. I-I actually think I'm going to head home." She excused, stumbling over her words in an effort to get her mind back from what it had just seen. "Could you just let Eddie know that I've left whenever he decides to come up for air?"
Unsure what else she could say to help the awkward situation, Beck simply nodded and gave her a sympathetic smile. She knew this feeling well, after spending the entirety of high school madly in love with George. Marcie had comforted her through every crush he'd had, every girlfriend that pushed her aside and now it was her turn to understand how badly it hurt.
Marcie pushed through the crowd in an effort to reach the door, desperate to get out as quickly as possible, but it seemed impossible to coordinate people in their drunken state. In her rush, she tripped over and was only rescued when she crashed into someone's chest.
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" She squealed before glancing up to find the unmistakable bonnet of Steve Harrington.
"It's alright. Are you okay?" He enquired, gripping her shoulders to ensure that she could straighten up and she nodded fervently. "Hey, I know you. You're Robin's friend. Marcie, right?"
"Yeah, I am. Sorry I can't chat, I'm actually on my way out." She blurted, sniffing back tears as she battled to hold herself together.
"Oh. Yeah, me too." He commented, examining her with an evident look of concern and she moved to pass him when she realised that she didn't actually have a way home. "Do you need a ride?"
Marcie paused for a moment, glancing between him and the direction she had come from. Usually, she would be against taking lifts from strange men, even if she had met Steve a couple of times before. She remembered that he did used to have a reputation as a bit of a womaniser, but knew that Robin had promised he was trustworthy and in this moment, she was desperate enough to escape that she considered it worth the risk.
"Actually, yes. I need to get back to Forest Hills Trailer Park, if that's not too far?" She asked in a small voice.
"Not a problem." Steve answered, his expression softening at her obvious distress. "It's crazy out front. I parked at the side of the house. It's faster this way." He explained as he began to lead her back through the crowd.
Marcie followed him with nerves in the pit of her stomach. This went against every personal rule that she had for her safety, but it was hard not to trust someone who had saved her life on their first meeting. For a few moments, she considered turning back, but just as her doubts grew strong enough to stop her, Eddie fell into their path holding hands with the girl from earlier.
"There you are!" He cheered, seeming as if he was delighted to have found her, until he noticed that she was far from returning his smile. "Everything okay?" He asked as his voice dropped lower.
"It's fine. I'm just going home." She answered shortly.
"Oh." He breathed, his face falling in obvious disappointment. "I was planning on staying for a bit longer, but I can check if the guys are ready to go?"
"Don't bother. Steve's giving me a lift."
This time, Eddie's smile completely faded. It was as if he had only just noticed Steve's presence and now that he was aware of it, he fixed him with a suspicious stare. He examined Steve from head to toe, whilst he squirmed in place and when he was done, he reached out to move Marcie aside so that they could talk. However, she held her ground and Eddie tilted his head in confusion.
"Are you sure about this, Marce?" He grilled, with his attention now riveted to her face. "Your mom will flip if I don't get you home safe."
"I'll be fine, Eddie." She insisted in a tone that began to demonstrate her irritation.
Without warning, he grasped her arm and marched her a few steps away for privacy. He paused for a second, staring back at Steve and clenching his jaw in annoyance as he struggled to find the words.
"I don't like this." He stated and Marcie couldn't help scoffing at his audacity. "I'm serious. I don't think it's a good idea. I mean, since when are you interested in letting fucking Harrington take you anywhere? He's a grade-a douchebag."
"Since when do you care who I'm interested in?" She spat, stepping back to gain some space from him, before turning to throw a look at the girl that he was with. "Besides, you're clearly busy being a douchebag yourself. I wouldn't want to ruin your fun."
For a moment, she thought she caught a grimace in Eddie's face, but it was barely a second before it was gone. He glanced between her and Steve one more time, his brows raising at the thought that she could truly be interested in him.
When Marcie turned back to Steve herself, he began to seem impatient and tilted his head at her as if awaiting a decision. Unwilling to lose her opportunity to escape the mess that this night had become, she committed to her impulsive plan.
"Come on, Steve." She offered as she stepped away from Eddie, noticing that he barely stopped himself from physically holding her back. "Let's go."
Obediently, Steve continued to lead the way and Marcie followed him from the party with her head down. Behind her, Eddie watched them leave in confusion. By now, his conquest for the night had grown bored and been replaced by Matt, who watched their interaction with amusement.
"Don't worry about it, man. Bitches are crazy."
Unsatisfied with this statement, Eddie continued to watch the direction that Marcie had disappeared in and his mind whirled as he strained to catch up with what had just happened.
"Not Marcie. She's cool." He stated absentmindedly.
In the car, Marcie and Steve travelled in silence, nothing but the hushed sound of his stereo filling the space. Occasionally, Marcie would sniffle as she battled to contain the emotions that were exploding inside of her. She had no intention of crying in front of this boy that she had only met twice.
She could feel Steve looking over at her every couple of minutes, debating with himself whether to speak to her. Whilst she was somewhat touched that he seemed genuinely concerned about her, she hoped that she could simply get through the journey unscathed.
"Are you okay?" Steve asked, peering at her nervously. "I know we don't know each other that well, but I've never seen you so quiet."
Marcie almost chuckled at this statement. In reality, Steve didn't know her well enough to have any idea if she was quiet or not, but considering that the last time they saw each other was at the Starcourt Mall when she was brandishing a baseball bat at him, she could forgive him for this impression.
"I'm cool. Just have a headache." She lied and Steve hummed in response.
After a few more moments of tense silence, he started to tap nervously on the steering wheel and she could tell that he wasn't used to leaving things alone. She began to stare out of the window as a distraction from his behaviour, but it seemed that he couldn't take the hint.
"So, you and Munson. Are you guys, like, a thing or?"
"You know, I would really appreciate it if we could not do this." Marcie remarked, before realising that her tone had been far firmer than intended. "It's just-it's been a night, you know?"
Steve nodded as if he absolutely knew what she meant, finally relenting on the questions. He turned up the stereo to fill the time and Marcie couldn't help noticing how strange it felt to travel with chart music playing.
When they arrived at the trailer, she thanked him and rushed out of the car before he could try to walk her in. Fumbling with the keys, she made sure to close the door immediately behind her in the hope that her mother wouldn't look outside to check how she had got back.
Fortunately, her mother wasn't in the living room when she passed and she breathed a sigh of relief as she began her routine of switching off the lights behind her to head to bed. She stopped in the bathroom to wash off her makeup and noticed that her eyes were red from trying to suppress tears.
Once ready for bed, she stepped back into the hall and almost tripped over from shock when her mother poked her head out of her bedroom just in time to catch the first tear rolling down her cheek.
"Oh, honey! It's just you. You're home before curfew!" She exclaimed, before she noticed her expression and her smile faded. "What happened? Are you alright?!"
"I'm fine, mom! I just need to get to bed." She blurted and unwilling to allow her the chance to pry, she stomped into her room.
Slamming the door behind her, she leaned against it to wait for any indication that she was no longer being listened to. The moment that she heard her mother's door close and knew that she was safe, she began to properly cry. Flinging herself onto the bed, she buried her face in the pillow to muffle the noise. Every time that she closed her eyes, the sight of Eddie's hands running all over the other girl haunted her and she felt as if she wanted to vomit.
The most frustrating part of this emotional breakdown was that she knew she couldn't really blame Eddie for his behaviour. He was a single young man, free to kiss whoever he liked. He had no obligation to her, nor did she feel as if she had any justification to be angry with him. If anything, she was furious with herself. It was her stupid heart that had changed everything between them.
Ever since the incident at the Starcourt Mall last summer, nothing had been the same. She had only gone there to confront Steve about Robin's absence and instead she'd been grabbed by Billy. He almost managed to sacrifice her to the monstrous creature that had haunted her dreams for months after, until Steve came to her rescue.
In the few moments that she thought were her last, instead of her life flashing before her eyes, she found herself thinking of Eddie. She was terrified of never seeing him again, going to her grave with so much left unresolved. The near death experience had left her with the entirely unwanted realisation that she loved him and now she had to manage that knowledge.
Nowadays, it felt as if Eddie was all she thought about. He was the first thing every morning, last thought at night. She couldn't even get a break from him at school anymore. He wasn't even supposed to be in her classes. If he had just knuckled down and graduated when he was meant to, she wouldn't be having this problem.
Instead, during almost every class, he distracted her from her studies with his crazy hair, and charming smile, and his hands covered in rings that drove her absolutely wild. He actually revelled in the fact that they were in the same year group now, teasing that he waited for her. It was a constant torment, to be so close to what she wanted without being able to have it.
Reflecting on his behaviour at the beginning of the night, she couldn't help feeling confused. As usual, he made the odd flirtatious comment, or gave her the occasional look that made her feel for just a moment that maybe there could be something more, but it never went anywhere. It was the reason she had started to distance herself from him since the summer, to protect her heart. After all, every time that they came close to something, the crash landing back to reality hurt even worse than before.
She didn't want him to just play with her. She wanted him to long for her every minute of the day, like she did for him. If there was one thing that she knew for sure after tonight, it was that she couldn't allow him to keep stringing her along. As she cried herself to sleep, she kept repeating one simple mantra: something had to change.