Leah

You are so beautiful when you smile

Sam's text stared at me from the small screen. Another pathetic attempt to smooth things over without accepting any responsibility. You'd think he would know me better than to think that I actually could be placated by petty compliments. I slammed the phone shut harder than necessary and threw it across my small bedroom. It hit the computer chair and then my dingy carpet with a soft thud.

My birthday is next Saturday and so help me God if he doesn't work through whatever is going on with him before then to show up to my party then I will never forgive him. I deserved closure, and by closure I mean that I deserved to dump him right to his dumb face. I flicked off the lamp on my bedside table and pulled my blankets up over my head trying to force myself to sleep. When I closed my eyes though instead of darkness I was staring into liquid gold. I opened my eyes again shocked but nothing had changed. There they were, molten and glowing, with a look of utter confusion. Just as confused as I was now, maybe even more.

I hadn't realized until now that the boy I met earlier was actually kind of beautiful. It felt wrong to think that way, I had never been attracted to anyone other than Sam. Never given myself the space to even consider another person, too loyal even in my wildest dreams. But Sam was gone and I didn't know when or even if he was planning to come back. When I called he let it go to voice-mail every time, so I left voice-mails begging for explanations until his mailbox was too full of my tears to accept any more. Where was his loyalty?

With that thought I gave myself permission to consider the boy further. His arms were long and lean but still muscular, his shoulders were pleasantly broad. His skin was insanely pale like marble but he dressed well in dark shades that complemented the odd completion. His face was the best part hands down. All high cheekbones and perfect symmetry.

Come to think of it, his behavior hadn't fit his demeanor at all. He looked like he could give off a very intimidating air when he wanted to but I hadn't felt any of that in the moment. He was soft and kind and gentle. I kicked myself mentally for not asking his name.

I likely wouldn't see that particular beautiful boy again but I was slowly realizing as I thought of our interaction today that maybe I was ready to move on from Sam. It wasn't giving up, it was the opposite actually. I knew what I deserved and I wasn't going to settle for anyone, not even him. I refused to shed another tear or waste another moment of my life being loyal to Sam Uley. I exhaled and drifted into a peaceful sleep for the first time in over a month.

The next morning I felt less at ease with the realizations I had made the night before, and the confusion just made me more angry. My eyes welled up with hot tears and my chest ached with the memories of all the good times. There have been so many good times. I pulled my blankets over my head to hide from the world a little longer before begrudgingly rolling out of bed around 11. I walked over to grab my cell phone off of the floor and saw I had two more texts from Sam. I deleted them without opening them and then blocked his number from my phone. If he wanted to speak to me he could come speak to me, I hadn't gone anywhere.

I spent the weekend doing what I loved most- absolutely nothing. Not to be confused with wallowing. I refused to let any boy ruin my weekend, not even the stupid love of my life.

School was equally unexciting. Friday morning I once again rose before the sun, this time a little more enthusiastically. This was no longer a pity mission, I was genuinely excited about the idea of becoming a local police officer. I had mentioned it to my family over dinner and my Dad was thrilled. He thought it was a great idea, said 'working with Charlie was exactly what I needed to keep me in line' (whatever that means I have literally never been a troublemaker.) My annoying little brother just started making pig noises. My mom didn't love the idea at all, she said it sounded dangerous but we all just laughed. Real danger didn't exist in Forks.

I heard the crunch of tires on gravel and threw my cereal bowl into the sink. I swept my phone and notepad off of the counter and shoved them into my purse before slinging it over my shoulder and heading out the door. Charlie was grinning when I hopped into the passenger seat.

"Well good morning partner." He said cheerfully. I saluted him and buckled my seat belt as he pulled out of my narrow driveway.

"So anything special on the agenda today, boss?" I tacked on for his benefit. I could tell he appreciated it.

"Well I thought we could grab some coffee and a box of donuts and conduct ourselves an old-fashioned speed trap. You game?"

"Oh I am so game." This was gonna be so cool.