Enjoy! This chapter is quite sad :)

The pressure increased around him, as he was yanked further into the depths of nothing. The protector couldn't help but struggle, thrashing as he yearned to breathe. The murky waters surrounded him, constricting him.

Suddenly, he lurched up coughing and spluttering, heaving up the water while greedily inhaling in the air. The inky nothingness had disappeared, and Jake's limbs were quivering, trembling, not responding to him.

Focus. The protector told himself, the icy waters had left him soaked and he found it difficult to gain his bearings. His head was akin to fog and he found himself unable to coherently form a proper thought.

Finally, taking a deep breath Jake glanced around, grimacing at the sight of stark white.

A mental hospital hallway. He thought sourly, well I know what that means.

The New Yorker knew instantly where he was due to the various descriptions Marc and Steven had provided him with, tales of hearts and feathers and memories were retold to him excitedly and vividly.

Jake didn't tell them that he was confined within the sarcophagus begging, screaming, crying to be let out, so he was unable to share their enthusiasm for the mystical Duat.

The realisation sunk into him and a lump formed in his throat.

He was dead.

Dead.

Jake could feel the tears welling up, stinging his eyes as his heart clenched painfully within his chest and he let himself break down.

No one was there to witness this heart-breaking moment and perhaps, that was the reason that the New Yorker succumbed to his emotions. Collapsing onto the cold tiled floor of the psych ward, the tears flowed freely from his eyes, blurring his vision as the anguish throttled him.

Gasped, wretched sobs hung in the air, tearing free from Jake's throat as he hunched over, the drenched fabric of his shirt clutched tightly within his hand.

The heart wrenching truth was that the protector thought himself as selfish, he didn't want to die, but there was no other option and so, he was forced to play the act of the brave, older brother for his kids.

Despite this, he knew he would do it again and again within a heartbeat.

They're ok, he tried to reassure himself. They're alive and fine and if I have to sacrifice myself for that, then so be it.

All that mattered was that his kids were alive.

He shoved the yearning to be alive down, pushed the bubbling, terrified emotion of being alone down.

I can endure this. Jake told himself, scrubbing the tears out of his eyes as he stumbled to his feet. I can endure this if it means the kids are alive and together.

The psychiatric halls forced a humourless chuckle out of the cab driver, oh the irony as he forced his limbs to move steadily through the repetitively stark white corridors.

The double doors at the end of the hall greeted him and before he could move an inch, the doors burst open, to reveal a hippo.

"Hellooo!" Taweret called cheerfully, confusion written on her face as she regarded Jake.

"Heya." Jake nodded, unfazed by the entrance or by the presence of the hippo, remembering the snippets of what occurred from his brothers with a deep aching pang.

"Haven't you been through here before?"

Jake thinned his lips, shaking his head. "Nah, that wasn't me. It was Marc and Steven."

"Oh." The goddess answered, seemingly more confused by the feeble explanation, before shrugging and pulling out her cue cards.

"Welcome traveller…"

The New Yorker tuned the introductions and explanations the hippo goddess offered out, instead he craned his neck, glancing into the windowed doors with a sudden unmeasurable sorrow.

His memories…

The majority of which were negative. Bloody and violent, but he found it hard to keep his expression guarded while the newer, more recent memories greeted him too.

Jake found himself staring into the door, the blurry figure of himself relaxed on the couch, a movie muffled in the background as he laughed, a carefree smile gracing his face at something the kids had said.

The New Yorker shook from the effort it took to keep his composure, the dawning realisation that he would never see his kids again and it left him with a bone aching weariness that clung heavily.

"Are you done?" He interrupted the goddess, shoulders sagging in the sheer weight he was carrying.

He was so tired.

The hippo was obviously not used to being interrupted and she stumbled over her words, flipping through her cards to get back on track, to which Jake rolled his eyes, he just wanted this over and done with.

"Look, there is no chance that my heart is going to balance." Jake shrugged, as if it was no big deal, because he knew that this would always be the case.

Since he had first heard the stories from his brothers about how they managed to balance their hearts together, Jake knew that he would be left. Left to deal with the aftermath of his unbalanced heart alone...

Steven and Marc balanced together perfectly, meaning they were able to spend eternity in the peaceful field of reeds.

And Jake…

Jake was fine with becoming lost within the desert for eternity, that was the sacrifice he was willing to make if it meant his kids were able to enjoy the afterlife. It was his penitence for all the wrongdoings he had committed.

"I still need to check…" Taweret trailed off, unexpecting his nonchalance or straightforwardness.

More often than not the flurry of emotions that she witnessed included bargaining, sadness and anger, but this? This acceptance?

This willingness to be cast into the sand forever, was an emotion she had never seen.

What she didn't know was that Jake had come to terms with this the second he heard about what happened during Steven and Marc's trip through the Duat. The kids hadn't realised and he was thankful they hadn't because it may have stirred up more pain and sadness.

The warning hung in the air and the sudden chilling feeling didn't alarm the protector, who merely blinked as the milky white heart sat within her hand.

Without another word, she turned and led them down, deeper into the hallways of his life and Jake couldn't stop his cocoa eyes flitting from memory to memory. The silence hung in the air, uncomfortable and thick with tension.

The snarling figure of Wendy, her hand poised above him to strike him.

The time that he had forced Marc from the front as he gunned down the enemy, heart in his throat at how he had almost failed, was almost too late.

Harrow's fearful eyes as he pulled the trigger again and again and again.

And more recently…

The heartbroken form of Marc, screaming, sobbing as the gun was shoved, unwavering to his head.

A tear had dripped down Jake's cheek and he scrubbed at it roughly, eyes tracking as the goddess gently placed his heart on the scale.

Perhaps there was a tiny part of him that hoped that it balanced, despite the knowing impossibility of it.

As expected, the heart tipped heavier than the feather and his face twisted into a grim smile.

"Right, well thank you Taweret for the time you saved my brothers."

He sighed out, his dark brown hair whipping violently as the wind howled around him, while he steadily walked to the edge of the boat, the golden sands seemed to taunt him as his eyes glanced into the hypnotising swirlings.

"But it seems that I'm no longer welcome on this boat."

Jake couldn't clear the lump in his throat, nor the miniscule trembling that devoured him as he climbed effortlessly onto the edge of the boat, the swirling sands mocking him, jeering at his emotions.

"How?" She asked, a hushed murmur, tilting her head in confusion. This man seemed so different from the endless souls that she had met and she just did not understand. "How are you so accepting of this?"

Balancing himself, the New Yorker turned towards the goddess, a melancholic yet resigned smile graced his face, his eyebrows were upturned and the expression was nearly identical to the one he gave Marc, not that long ago, in the hopes to reassure the kid.

This was it…

He would never hear Steven's excited rants about Ancient Egypt ever again...

He would never be able to tease Marc when he would go through an endless number of outfits to prepare for his dates with Layla ever again…

He would never be able to see his kids again…

Jake tilted his head to regard the whirling galaxy above him, the sight of which left him breathless, the beauty in death, oh the irony he thought to himself, but he was glad he was able to experience the breath-taking glow of stars.

Salty liquid traced down his face and mingled with the frozen, eerie wind.

"I've come to terms with it." The cab driver croaked out, his voice barely audible within the howling winds. "The kids, my brothers are alive and that's all that matters."

"But what about you?" She asked, her heart tugging in sadness for the man. Taweret hadn't felt pity or sadness on such a scale, for a human soul, since she began this job.

"Me?" Jake breathed out, as if he was confused by what the goddess meant, as if he had never once considered what he wanted.

"I was created to protect them and so that is what I have to do and will do in a heartbeat, because they're my kids."

His voice trembled, cracking as he whispered the words softly . "Because I love them."

Because they were his family, his home.

"But.." He hesitated, eyes tracking back to the swirling sky that seemed so close, yet so far…

Jake continued, realising that this would probably be the last time he would ever talk to someone, the last time he would be able to admit how he felt.

"I wanted to stay with them, I wanted to watch them grow up and laugh with them for a bit longer…"

Before the goddess could respond, a soft watery chuckle bubbled from his chest, and his mind made up, he shut his anguished eyes and tipped on the back of his heels.

The wind embraced him in a frozen hug, his hair tangling as he fell, and Jake landed on the endless sand safely.

The stars twinkled above him and he managed to grit his teeth, standing up with much effort, and instantly, the numbing, painful stone encroached upon him, trapping him.

"Goodbye." He sighed softly, to no one in particular as the stone consumed him entirely.

And I should be studying ahaha so I'll see you next week!

Xxx
Take care!