Please be mindful while reading, if PTSD is triggering for you.

"El, go back to your wife."

Elliot frowned, as his face was a few inches from her door and his right arm supporting his weight on the frame. What? Where did that come from?

Sure, their fight earlier that day was bad. Very bad. One of the worst fights they ever had, in their 23-year-old relationship. But her respond made no sense.

"What?"

Why wasn't she opening the door?

"Go back to your wife. Leave me alone."

Her voice was different. Back in their partners days, Elliot could decipher what she was feeling only by the tone of her voice. He was a bit out of practice, but he still knew her. Something was off. And it wasn't about their fight.

"And don't even think about using your spare key, it'll only make this worst." He heard her say.

Alright, that confirmed it. Something was definitely wrong. He didn't have a spare key of her (new) apartment and they both knew that. She was sending him a message. Adrenaline spiked in his blood. He had to do something.

"Okay. I'll call you tomorrow." He told her, hoping his tone conveyed that he got her message loud and clear.

Stepping away from her door, he retreated further down the hall and called Fin.

"Hey Stabler, if you're looking for Liv-"

"Something's wrong." Elliot cut in. He kept his voice down.

"Yeah, you both undloaded a lot this afternoon. Liv was pissed at everyone for the rest of the day."

"No. Something's wrong, Fin. That case you were working on, what is it?"

"What, Power? Why?"

"Bring a unit at Liv's apartment. Right now."

"Stabler, what's going on?"

"She won't open the door for me."

"Yeah, I'm not surprised-"

"No, she wouldn't even open to tell me to leave, she…she said things that don't make sense."

"Man, I think she's just pissed-"

"She told me to go back to Kathy. And not use my spare key."

Silence followed. Then Elliot heard Amanda tell something to Fin which sounded bad.

"Shit. Stabler we're on our way. Don't do anything before we get there!"

"Does he have her?" Elliot took out his weapon.

"Don't do anyth-"

Elliot dropped the phone and prepared to dive into the situation. His partner was in danger and he had to save her. Old reflexes die hard.

Approaching the door to her apartment again, he listened for any sound that might tell him more about what was going on behind it. He didn't hear much, until there was a sudden crash, as if something fell and broke, followed by a soft moan of pain. He didn't think twice, he smashed the door with his foot and pointed his gun.

He saw Olivia kneeling on the floor and a big guy pulling her by the hair, trying to drag her towards her bedroom. The perp jumped in surprise and reached for his gun on the kitchen table.

"Don't even think about it, pal." Stabler shouted.

The perp stopped and sighed in defeat. Elliot glanced quickly at Liv who was still on the floor, a look of panic in her eyes. He made sure she wasn't hurt physically and returned his gaze to the perp.

"Turn around. Hands where I can see them." The Detective pulled a pair of cuffs our of his pants.

But before he could do anything, the perp changed his mind and decided to reach for his gun anyway. Stabler reacted instinctively and shot him.

The sound of the gun resonated during a long moment, where neither Olivia nor Elliot moved. When Power didn't make any sound, the partners realized he was dead. Elliot pushed aside his adrenaline to go to Olivia.

"Liv, are you okay?"

She was still on the floor, eyes glued to the body near the kitchen table, her breathing erratic. Elliot kneeled at her side, careful of her clearly distraught state.

"Liv-" he touched her shoulder lightly, which made her look at him suddenly.

Her eyes were glassy, she was only half present, and Elliot recognized the PTSD instantly. He was surprised by it, didn't understand it. But he switched into intervention mode by instinct.

"Hey. It's okay. It's me."

He saw her trying to gain control over her emotions.

"Call…call Fin." She managed.

Elliot tried not to feel hurt that she would ask for Fin in times of crisis, but then again, he did leave her for ten years…

"He's already on his way."

"Where's Noah?"

"He's at a sleepover, I think. That's what you told me earlier this week." He kept his voice gentle and reassuring, but he was starting to realize this was a bigger situation than he thought.

"I need to see him. I need to see my son." She started shaking.

Elliot rubbed his hands on her upper arms.

"Okay. We'll get him."

"I want to see my son." She repeated, eyes unable to focus on anything really.

"Liv, look at me." He tried to connect to her, ground her. But she glanced at the perp lying in a puddle of blood instead.

"Oh god…" Elliot thought for a moment she was gasping at the blood, but she continued, saying things he didn't fully understand. "They're going to bring this into the trial…but it was a good shoot…he tried to get his gun…it was a good shoot…you shouldn't have shot him…"

Elliot's concern grew as he realized he was losing her. He put one hand on her neck to make her look at him.

"Liv." He spoke firmly, but still gently.

But that seemed to rattle her even more.

"And what are you doing here anyway? You shouldn't have shot him! They're going to put it on you."

"I can defend myself, it's okay, Liv."

"No it's not! You don't get it! You shouldn't have done that…I…I would have taken him down myself, just like before, I was fine!"

Elliot wasn't following her at all. He was losing her to the PTSD and it was no use to argue with her.

"Liv, I'm here. You're safe." She made a huffing sound, as if in disbelief he would say that. Her shaking was getting out of control now. "Come back to me." He tried.

"No!" she shouted, pushing him.

Elliot removed his hands, but stayed close, in silence. Her eyes seemed to focus on his for a moment, but then tears appeared in them. He ached to touch her in reassurance, but refrained from it. She closed her eyes for a moment and a few tears rolled down her cheeks.

"I can't do this again…" she breathed.

Before Stabler could say anything else, Fin arrived with the squad. The Sergeant carefully assessed the situation, saw Power on the floor, and went straight to the partners in the middle of the living room. He kneeled down to Olivia, seemingly understanding her state better than Elliot.

"Hey Cap."

She raised her eyes to him and seemed more present now.

"I'm fine." She said on reflex.

After noticing the confusion on Elliot's face, Fin put a hand on his shoulder, telling him he would take over. Elliot sat back but stayed close to them.

"Liv, we're going to move you out of this room, okay?"

"I want to see Noah."

"You will, Amanda will bring him to you soon, don't worry."

She seemed to believe him as she relaxed a little. Her hands were still shaking. She glanced at Elliot again, but he felt she didn't fully register his presence. As if he was a ghost, looking in from another place of existence. A look of guilt went across her features and that confused him even more. She was ashamed of her reaction before him? He wanted to help her, to hug her, but he knew it wasn't his place anymore. And that hurt him the most.

Near them, officers were covering Power's body, while some of her squad was assessing the apartment and getting Power's laptop. Elliot saw similar looks passed between the members of her team. He couldn't really identify it, but it was a mixture of sadness and pure concern for their Captain. He started to put the puzzle together, gathering that something bad had happened to Olivia when he was away. Something similar to this, which triggered the PTSD. Guilt and anger pierced though him.

But then Stabler noticed another man entering the crowded apartment. He was civilian and even though he wasn't shocked by the scene or the blood on the floor, he seemed out of his element. Fin saw him approach.

"Liv, I called Lindstrom for you. He's here."

Olivia glanced up at the man. The shame look returned to her features.

"Yeah…" she exhaled, resigned.

The man crouched in front of her as Fin stood back. Elliot was still sitting on the floor, looking in like an outsider.

"Hi Olivia."

"I'm fine." She replied again.

The man smiled reassuringly.

"Yes you are. Would you like to go elsewhere to talk a little?"

"I want to see my son." Her voice shaking.

"We'll get Noah to you soon, I promise. Maybe we could facetime him?" That got her attention. "Let's go into your bedroom and call him okay?"

Olivia nodded and tried to get up. Her legs were still shaky, but Elliot was there to help her get to her feet. He felt Lindstrom gaze on him, but his sole focus was on Olivia. Her eyes were everywhere but on him though, either from pain or shame, he wasn't sure. She started moving towards the bedroom and Elliot let her go, clearly he was not the right person to help right now.

When she disappeared in the corridor with Lindstrom by her side, he turned to Fin.

"What the hell, Fin?" he asked, confused.

The Sergeant looked empathically at him.

"Sorry you had to find out like this, El."

And Elliot's gut twisted again.

Chapter 3 in the works! Lindstrom POV ;)

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