"Will you leave her again, Elliot?"

The question hit him full force. The answer was out of his mouth before he could even think it.

"Never."

The doc smiled.

"Tell her."

Those two words resonated loudly in his mind for a few minutes. He felt Fin's hand on his shoulder as an encouragement and turned his head towards the corridor.

"Go." Fin insisted softly.

Elliot walked slowly towards Olivia's bedroom. He stopped near the half-opened door and listened carefully to know if she was still on the phone with her son. He didn't hear anything and supposed she was done with the phone call.

On the other side, Olivia was washing her face in her private bathroom. Seeing and talking to her son had helped a lot to ground her. She felt exhausted from all of the emotions of the night. The hostage situation, the flashbacks from Lewis, the fact that Elliot came to her rescue (which she still had a hard time believing) and that saw her PTSDing, Lindstrom being here to calm her. It had been a lot. Most of all, she felt bad for Elliot who clearly didn't know about the Lewis saga and saw her in her most vulnerable state. She felt ashamed about it.

As she threw a towel to dry her face, she heard tentative knocks on the door.

"Liv?"

Olivia released a breath when she realized who it was. She walked out of the bathroom to see Elliot respectfully peaking in the open door.

"Come in." she indicated as she started gathering clothes in a suitcase.

She needed to do something, or else she knew she would crumble (again) before him. And she also knew that CSU and IAB wouldn't let her stay at her apartment tonight. She suspected they would give her a hotel room for a couple of days, just like with Lewis.

She shivered again at the flashback, but kept busying herself. Elliot walked in and went to close the door behind him as a reflex.

"Leave it." She quickly requested.

"Sorry." He removed his hand as quickly in an apology.

She continued to get her clothes from her drawers to her suitcase, purposely not meeting his eyes.

"I'm sorry you had to see me like this tonight." She offered.

Elliot frowned at that. She was apologizing for her reaction?

"You have nothing to be sorry about. I'm sorry I wasn't there earlier."

They both registered how "earlier" had a double meaning, but neither of them pointed it out.

Olivia felt grateful he did show up at all, but couldn't bring herself to say it out loud. Her eyes watered at the thought though, and Elliot saw it. As she passed near him to get to her dresser, he gently stopped her by grabbing her upper arm.

"Hey."

She still refused to meet his gaze.

"Liv, look at me." She raised her gaze but couldn't hold his eyes for more than a second. Elliot noticed the shame in her features which made him sad. "Don't hide from me." He spoke softly.

She shook her head trying to regain control of her emotions.

"Olivia, you don't have to hide from me. I'm here for you." He desperately wanted her to lean on him, physically and emotionally, but saw her fighting for control. She didn't trust him enough yet.

They stayed close, standing in the middle of her bedroom, for a few minutes. Olivia wanted to let go, to let him be there for her and comfort her, but she just couldn't bring herself to. She didn't want him to see her like this. She didn't want him to see her in a different way after this either. Elliot knew that, and he needed to let her know he would never change his mind about her.

"I'm here for you." He repeated. "You can let it go, Liv. Don't think that I'll see you as less than the strong, fearless, stubborn, invincible woman I've known for 23 years."

A small smile came over her features at that. She knew what he was trying to do, to say. She wanted so badly to believe him, to trust him again. She closed her eyes as she took a long breath. The air between them seemed to lighten a bit.

But then Elliot had an idea. They needed to build back the trust between them, and he thought of something that could potentially help. Still being careful about her fragile state, he asked softly.

"Are you willing to try something for me?"

She opened her eyes questioningly. Elliot started walking towards the door and pulled her gently by the arm with him. She followed him, which was a good sign she trusted him enough. They stopped near the door, still facing each other. Elliot pulled her closer and Liv took a step in his direction. They were practically touching, but not quite.

Stabler knew why she had requested to leave the door open. It was a way to fight the panic of being trapped somewhere. He had experienced it himself after Kathy's accident, not being able to sleep with the bedroom's door closed. Leaving it open, even for a crack, was safety for her, it meant that she could escape anytime, that she wasn't confined, that she had control.

And that's where the idea originated. He explained it in a soft voice.

"We're going to stand here for 15 minutes, together. And whenever you feel safe enough, grounded enough, you reach out and close that door."

He saw the panic return to her eyes for a moment.

"If you don't feel like closing it, that's fine too. There's no pressure. I just want you to feel me here with you, to believe that I'm not going anywhere. I want your trust again, and I feel this is one of the ways to build it back."

If she was able to be in a closed room with him, and not panic, then Elliot knew they would be on a good path to recovery together.

Olivia wasn't sure at the idea at first. But then really noticed his presence. It resonated in her whole body. They were standing so close, his protectiveness radiating from him. It was hitting her full force. It had been a long time since she felt it, let herself feel it. She relaxed a little bit. Maybe this was worth a shot.

She looked at the door and then back at him.

"Okay." She whispered.

Elliot smiled and his hands found hers.

"No rush. Just stand here with me."

And so the 15 minutes started. Olivia took a long breath and closed her eyes, letting the feeling of his hands ground her. Her face was close to his chest, and she felt him relax as well. They stood there in silence, their breathing slowly but surely becoming in sync.

Olivia's wall started to crumble. Those walls she had built over ten years which helped her survive his absence, survive the pain and abandonment he had inflicted her. Those walls which refrained her from trusting him anymore.

She concentrated on the fact that he was here now, in front of her, standing strong for her. She believed he wanted to build back their relationship. She surprised herself when she realized that she also believed he wouldn't leave her again. That was a big deal.

She took another step closer to him and let her forehead touch his collarbone. He felt so good. So strong, so present, so safe.

Elliot didn't move, even though he was dying to brush her hair with his nose. But this wasn't about him.

Neither of them knew how much time had passed when Elliot felt her right hand release his left. He held his breath as he waited for her move. Olivia didn't remove her head from his chest but extended her right arm to push the door closed. The soft click resonated in the room.

She inhaled sharply at the change but returned her hand in Elliot's. She squeezed them a bit more forcefully to ground herself and he responded in kind. They stepped even closer to each other, so that their whole bodies touched. Olivia changed her head position and her face found refuge in his neck.

"I'm here, Liv." He mumbled against her hair.

She took a shaking breath and he swore he felt wetness on his neck. He couldn't resist anymore. He gently let go of her hands to hug her tight. She returned the hug as her arms went around his torso.

This was a monumental shift in their relationship. Olivia was willing to trust him again. She felt safe with him and trusted that he would be there for her again. They both felt their healing process progressing.

They stood there for another couple of minutes before Elliot felt her exhaustion take over. Releasing his hold a bit, she did the same to look at him.

"How are you feeling?" he asked with care.

"Better." She settled for.

They both breathed in relief together. A somewhat shameful look came across her features again before she spoke.

"Thanks for coming tonight."

"Of course."

"I mean…the things I said earlier-"

She was referring to their fight, but Elliot cut her.

"I deserved them." She started to argue but he didn't let her. "You should be telling me those things, I hurt you and I deserve to feel what that was like for you."

She stayed silent. They were still holding on to each other.

"I just want you to know that I will *always* be here for you. Fight or no fight." Her eyes went watery again. "That's why I came back, Olivia. For you. To be right by your side, for better or worse. For the good and the bad. This is where I belong. And you deserve it from me."

Deserve. That word resonated between them.

Olivia finally nodded, accepting his words. Satisfied, Elliot squeezed her arm in reassurance.

"Come on, let's get you out of here."

Reluctant to leave his embrace, Olivia pulled herself to gather her bag of clothes. As Elliot opened the door for her, it felt more freeing than she cared to admit. A new opening into their relationship, a new era of trust and protectiveness between them, where they both stepping into. Together.

Reviews are always appreciated! :)

musical-Aven

August 2022