Disclaimer: I don't own any of the original characters nor the original Inspector Lynley Mysteries – they belong to Elizabeth George and the BBC. I have borrowed the characters from the TV-Show and only own the ideas of my stories.
First of all, I would like to notify, that English is not my native language. My co-author (Vidiadal) and I are from Russia. To our big regret, this TV series is not so widely popular in Russia, that`s why we have decided to share our story with English fans. We are very sorry for mistakes and hope, that someone will be interested in it.
This story is alternative continuation of the episode "The Seed of Cunning" (Barbara spends her nights meeting men through a dating service).
- Hi! I am Barbara!
The mirror reflected her strained smile. It was as strained as a faded calico dress on the immense hips of her nasty, always grumbling neighbor. It was implied that this smile should look sincere, endearing, and certainly not cause such associations.
- Hello! Barbara Havers!
No, not that again! She's not at the interview. Although… it depends on which side to look at it.
- Hi! I am Barbara!
One more attempt. Now her smile seems to be more sincere. Someone people, perhaps, will believe, but she doesn't .
- You must be Stuart, and I`m Barbara.
She forced a smile again and dismissed all previous attempts in favor of a new one:
- Hi! I am Barbie! Nice to meet you!
Oh, God! She could be delusional. What Barbie she can make of herself? Barbies are beautiful long-legged dolls in the boxes of glossy pink cardboard, and she was not interested in them even in her childhood. And what a sin to conceal, she is not happy with the future acquaintance. Whoever is her companion, to whom she was going on a date, rehearsing her role, as if before a school play( she doesn't care if he's Barbie's handsome friend Ken), she does not need it! Irritably shook her head, impulsively pulled the wide strap of the bag from her shoulders and threw it aside. Sitting on an old rattan chair, she habitually hid her palms between her tightly closed legs.
Then why did she do all this? Why so stubbornly knocks herself out of her usual comfort zone? She seemed to have already answered that unspoken question from Linley.
- It would be great ... - she said then to him.
Indeed! It would be great... to have someone... The only problem is that when she saw another candidate for the role of this "someone", she was overcome by an insistent desire to turn around and run without looking back, hide in her little, albeit not very neat, but quite comfortable apartment or to plunge headlong into the understandable and familiar world of crime with Lynley.
Linley... That's the one with whom she always felt at home, with whom she was ready to spend days and nights on end. But no! The new modified version of Barbara that she has become will not give herself this indulgence. Not for nothing he put brick by brick into the gaping voids of her soul, sometimes even against her own will. But now she understands that everything was right, and she is grateful to him for that. The best way to thank him and, above all, herself, is to become happy, to become like everyone else - to go on dates, finally find a suitable match for herself and put an end to this loneliness that gnaws at her soul. On previous dates, she just had no luck. In fact, she is not obliged to throw herself into the arms of the first person she meets ...
- He's not that bad! - she thought, looking at the guy sitting next to her at the bar.
It's been ten minutes now and she hasn't had the urge to run away yet! Bingo! And he seemed to look at her with undisguised sympathy. Double hit on the bull's-eye! Does it happen?! Her train of thought was interrupted by a muffled phone call from the depths of her bag. Apologizing, she took out her phone with the intention of turning it off (for today her duty was over), but when she saw Linley's office number on the screen, she immediately forgot about this thought.
- Havers! - she habitually reported into the phone.
- Barbara?
- Sir?!
There was a long pause at the other end of the phone. She seemed to hear his ragged breathing.
- Sir?!
- I was thinking... Oh, I'm sorry! You are on… a meeting. I shouldn't have bothered you right now. There is nothing important. All this can be left until tomorrow. Rest easy, Barbara. Good evening!
Before she could open her mouth to answer him, he passed out.
- Stuart... – she extracted his name from the depths of her memory, her thoughts were already far from this pub and this man. - I'm sorry I have to leave. Really... Sorry!
Standing at the door of his office, she realized that it had not seemed to her - the eighth Earl of Asherton was stone drunk. Her guess was confirmed by the almost empty bottle of whiskey on the table in front of him. She had never seen him in such a state and did not quite understand how to react.
- Why did you come? I've told...
There was undisguised irritation in his voice; on her - for the fact that she came anyway? Or at himself - for appearing before her in such an unsightly form? She noticed that it was rather difficult for him to focus his gaze on her.
- Why did you come? – he continued to insist on the answer, but now in his voice there was, rather, sincere interest.
- The fact is that you called, and it seemed to me that the matter was really urgent, and I decided ...
- Havers, come on! Was he that bad?!
Rising, he staggered slightly. He needed a table as a support to balance his body. Gathering his courage, he lifted his fingers from the table top and staggered towards her. He stopped a couple of steps away, and Barbara distinctly caught the smell of alcohol emanating from him, surprisingly it did not seem unpleasant to her, she explained that to herself by the fact that the count always used exclusively high-quality scotch.
- Who are you talking about?
- I am talking about your cavalier.
In search of support, he leaned heavily against the wall with his shoulder.
- He was so bad that any excuse was good enough for you to get away from him?
- To tell you the truth, he was objectively good, but it seemed to me that you ... - she paused, choosing her words carefully so as not to offend him, - that you need someone to take you home today. Reliable, friendly shoulder, let's say so.
- And choosing between your extended lucky ticket and me, you have chosen me…
- My ticket is not going anywhere.
- Are you sure about that?
- Absolutely, sir. And if it does, then it wasn't my ticket.
- Barbara!
Impulsively pushing off the wall, he took a step towards her, staggered and almost collapsed on her. Cursed from the heart. At the academy, at numerous retraining courses and then in retreat, she was taught to repel an opponent's attack, but in no way to catch counts falling on her like sheaves of hay, who, moreover, in their dimensions could compete with her grandmother's old wardrobe. She wasn't ready for this. It was hard to keep him on his feet. In addition to the alcohol, her sense of smell now picked up the scent of a starched shirt and the familiar, subtle scent of his aftershave. She was not at all a master of decomposing smells by notes, she was always surprised by people who could distinguish the smells of a summer forest after rain or light notes of sandalwood in a perfume. All she could say about this smell was that she definitely liked it, it seemed to her courageous, noble and ... obviously elite. He did not go to any comparison with the unpretentious perfume of Lafferty and other men from her environment.
Late at night after a hard day, being drunk as hell, this dandy managed to smell like he had just left the barbershop. For some reason, this fact now irritated her.
- Sorry! You were right: I am very tired and today I really need a friendly shoulder.
While waiting for his sergeant in the car, he almost fell asleep, but the slam of the door brought him back to reality.
- What is it?
With sleepy eyes, he stared blankly at a white package with the symbols of a popular pharmacy chain.
- You will thank me tomorrow for this. Laying the bag on her knees, she took out a disposable glass paired with a plastic stick (with the help of such stick stir sugar in coffee shops), a small bottle of water and a bag, which she immediately tore up and poured its contents (some powder ) into a prepared glass. Pouring water, carefully placed.
- Drink! These are preventive measures that will make you feel a little better tomorrow morning.
- Barbara, I'm not so weak!
- Please, sir!
Nevertheless, heeding her request, he quickly drained the glass, after which he crushed it in his hand. It seemed that if there was a stone in his fist now, he would be able to squeeze water out of it.
- Actually, I am very grateful to you for your concern.
Leaning his head against the side window, he smiled peacefully as she started the car.
- I don't let anyone drive my car!
- I'm aware, sir.
- Barbara, by the way, this is Bristol!
- I am immensely delighted, sir.
- But I trust you. As an exception. But only for today.
- Should I talk about how flattered I am?
She playfully rolled her eyes.
- Where are we going?!
- Oh! I didn't think we had options. I guess home. To your house, sir.
- I don't want!
- What do you want?
- Have some fun!
How about "I'm very tired"?
She rolled her eyes again in pain. Lord, grant her patience with this drunken aristocrat.
- I saw you, and my fatigue vanished, plus, your potion works wonders. I am cheerful as have never before.
- I'm sorry, but I have no idea how to organize your leisure time. I can't imagine how the counts are having fun.
She wrinkled her nose slightly.
- Havers, you think I'm a complete bore?
- Not! Not at all, sir! I just think you really need a break right now.
- I'm not a bore and could prove it to you ... - he muttered under his breath and again leaned his head against the glass.
"Well, of course," she muttered under her breath.
She was sure he had dozed off, so she winced slightly when he spoke to her again.
- You would not deal with someone like Pippa... – he returned to the question, which, apparently, still haunted him.
- No ... And not because I'm like that ... Well, you understand ... not because I am right, - finally, she picked up a more or less suitable word in her opinion. It's just absolutely impossible. We are from different worlds. There is an abyss between us.
- Come on, Barbara! These conventions, prejudices mean nothing. Although… you are right. There is a world of lies, hypocrisy and vanity. This is her world. And there is your world. Simple and honest. And they would never cross. Helen dealt with her.
"You don't know about it, sir, don't blame her."
"She said she had seen Helen a couple of days ago, she said she looked great and was holding up well, she said I looked tired… She is absolutely right about me. I am so tired…
- Show a little more patience, sir, she needs time. Everything will be alright.
- Why do you defend her so stubbornly? It has always been so. Right from the start, you protected her and pushed me towards her.
- The answer seems obvious to me - I wished and wish you happiness, sir.
- Is it truth?
- Do you doubt it?
- No…
He shook his head.
- You deserve to be happy. Like no one else...
She uttered these woirds with excessive vehemence and swore to herself.
- Are you sure that I will be happy with her?
- Well, I don't know... It seemed to me... You said... You definitely wanted her.
- Havers! Be careful!
- What?!
Gripping the steering wheel, she stared intently at the road, looking for the danger she thought he was warning her about.
- You're biting your lip now.
He smiled mockingly, and she, realizing the correctness of his words, loosened the pressure of her teeth, which dug into her lower lip.
- I wanted you to get what the desirable. It's all too complicated, really! Especially now when we're both so tired.
She smiled ruefully sincerely.
- You need to sleep. We all need to get some rest.
- No, not this one!
- What?
- I don`t want this mug!
He was like a naughty boy.
- I prefer another one.
- Sorry! I didn't think it mattered.
- There she is!
Sincerely delighted, he took from the bowels of the kitchen cabinet a mug from the set that she had once presented to him and Helen in honor of their housewarming.
- Did you decide to poison me?
He glanced dubiously at the dancing bubbles from the large effervescent tablet.
- Today I am entrusted with the function of your friendly shoulder, I want to fulfill it with honor and to the end. Drink!
- What is it this time?
- This is the second dose of the hangover vaccine. And this one you must drink in the morning.
She waved the blister.
- You are quite savvy in this matter, Havers.
- Have a drink, and put this next to you on the bedside table, and I can finally return home with peace of mind.
- Barbara, stay!
- What?!
I tried to take her hand, but she recoiled sharply so that her hip hit the corner of the kitchen worktop. Annoyingly she rubbed her bruised place with her hand.
- I'm asking you to stay. It's too late to go home. Besides, I don't trust you with my car that much.
- I'll call a taxi and I won't even mind if you pay for it.
- You will have at your disposal any room in this house and my clean T-shirt. Not so bad. Besides, I owe you. You have shown me hospitality more than once.
"I'm afraid it won't be very convenient for both of us..."
- Barbara, come on!
Again this attack. She feels the cold of iron piercing through her body from the inside. Her legs begin to go completely numb, just like then. With her mind she understands that the room is warm, everything is in order with her, there is no threat, but that does not make it any easier. Her body is trembling uncontrollably, her hand pulls the slider of the sweatshirt up. There is nowhere to go, but she still jerks it frantically. Again and again. She thought she had it gone and would never happen again. Wrong! She did not notice how he entered the room, allotted to her for the night, and came to her.
- You said you did it!
Even in this state, she caught the intense anger in his voice.
- It's okay, I'm just cold. I need to warm up. It will pass now.
Involuntarily, she hugged her own shoulders in a vain attempt to keep warm and suppress the trembling that was rising.
- Barbara, the room is warm!
- Please!
She did not understand what she was asking him , but he seemed to understand.
- Damn it! - he muttered under his breath and, feeling the slider of the snake of her sweatshirt, sharply pulled down. Pulling off her jacket with one jerk, he also quickly threw off his jacket. His hands grabbed her and pulled her sharply to him, while slightly lifting her off the floor. The urgency of the incident made her gasp softly. Slightly loosening his grip, so that the sole of her shoes again touched the floor, he began to slowly soothingly stroke her back and shoulders. Unmanicured female fingers clutched the fabric of his shirt like a death grip.