One Year before the Epilogue
'Why' is a question that she asked all too much lately, but it usually was followed up with 'when'. Like 'Why put roads here, when they were more economical to go this way?', 'Why build this building here, when the farmlands can benefit from it better if it is stationed on the other side of the city, or 'Why destroy the fighters when we could repurpose them for our protection.' These statements were becoming a common occurrence to her with each passing day and they probably won't stop anytime soon, unless a miracle happened and the Galactic Civil War abruptly came to end.
As Sabine looked over the plains, she couldn't help but admire its beauty. Today was a rarity, she didn't work, didn't have to deal with the politics of a 'neutral' planet, didn't have to train cadets for the Lothal Air and Space Corps, or LASC for short. No, today, Sabine got the day off to remember, for you see it was the anniversary, the anniversary of Lothal's freedom. While for most people it's a joyous day of remembrance, to Sabine it still brought up those same damn questions that have plagued her life for the last four years. 'Why did you have to leave, when there is so much to do after the fact? Why did you leave and trust me to do this, when you know we would have done better as a team? Why didn't you want my help when you knew I could have jetpacked us out of there? Why Ezra!? Why!" She screamed at the top of her lungs almost hurling the cylindrical object in her hand into the vast plains of Lothal.
The object she held was none other than the lightsaber of the 'Hero of Lothal' as Ryder Azadi had dubbed, although if Ezra was here, he would object and say that the true heroes were Kanaan and all of the soldiers who died for Lothal's freedom. Sabine also objects to this title but other reasons. She sees this title or status as if Ezra has died however, Sabine knows that he isn't dead, she doesn't have proof, but she just knows, almost like there is a connection that is between them that can only be broken by death or worse. Most people are taken aback when she tells them this and then asks 'what could be worse than death.' She normally replies with 'you wouldn't understand' but she knows it all too well.
The dread of even thinking about what could happen while Ezra is still out there is bad but if Sabine's theory or a hunch, whichever the case may be, is right then the only thing that would be worse not only for her but for the rest of her surrogate family, would be if Ezra turned to Dark-side. It had been over a year since his bout against the Dark-side and Maul when he went to the Unknown, but that still did not mean he couldn't be tempted. There is no telling what lurks out there, or what secrets are kept in that part of uncharted space, but all Sabine somehow knows is that Ezra is alive and he is still on the same path as he was when he departed. Which is enough for her to feel somewhat comforted.
This is why every year since Ezra left, Sabine was given this day off to get away from the crowds. To escape the joyful festivities, and have some time to herself, that she doesn't normally get due to having a fundamental role in the rehabilitation of the Lothalian government and Lothal itself.
The sky has now been crystal blue for about two years and from space, it looks almost like a new planet from when she first got here eight years ago. The place that she has picked every year out of principle, or familiarity has been the old Comm Tower that Ezra had called his home. Since Sabine had such a huge role in the Liberation of Lothal, she had asked a favor of Ryder to not only keep the Comm Tower in place but also to keep it as a Memoriam of the legacy of Mira and Ephraim Bridger.
Another, albeit selfish reason, was so she could renovate/ clean it for when, not if, Ezra returns. Up till this moment, it was great, she had been working on the Tower intermittently throughout the years, when she had the time and energy, and today was supposed to be the day where she got it done. She had been able to live in it for the last eighteen months. Once everything was cleared out of the tower, it had enough space for one master bedroom, 2 bedrooms, 1 ½ bath, a living room, a full-size kitchen, and of course the wrap-around balcony. The layout of the entire house kind of resembled the phoenix that Sabine was known for. After that, she decided to put in an art studio for herself because she didn't know when Ezra would be back. This also served as a storage place and very cramped office till she got all of Ezra's helmets either thrown away, normally it was duplicates, or she sold them when she put her art on them. Once she had sold the helmets, the money would go straight into the next project for the Tower. This routine had run its course for three years now and the final stage was going to be finished, which was to move in till HE arrived and see what happened from there.
It was going great, she going strong and she was almost done. However, she made one of the stupidest decisions of her life. Take a break. It wasn't a bad idea until her thoughts caught up. She was looking at the plains, enjoying the view, delighting in the warm breeze that went through her shoulder-length hair, and sipping on a cup of caf when she saw a damned Loth-cat. Ezra was a Loth-cat magnet and had this special connection with those 'lovely' creatures and Sabine guessed it missed him almost as much as she did. She missed a lot of things about him which was weird for her.
When they were younger Ezra was a pest, his voice was annoying, his flirting was obnoxious, impatient as all get out and his presence either brought trouble or a sense of dread. However as they matured and grew up, she didn't notice until he was gone, but Ezra had gone from being a pest to a pleasure being around, she considered him to be her only true best friend, one who would do anything to keep her spirits up and be one who she trusted the most for support that Hera and Kanaan couldn't always give. His voice brought her a sense of calm whenever she replayed the personal message, he gave her. His horrible flirting and impatience almost went away through the years.
What Sabine missed the most though was Ezra's presence. During the last few days and even week of his being on Lothal, Ezra was practically unmovable. He never wavered after he went into the World Between Worlds, he was steadfast in his beliefs about getting the Empire off Lothal with the least amount of causalities. His presence to her, even before the Liberation of Lothal, was calming, when he was around, she felt that whether she was in the midst of a firefight or just talking about mundane, everyday things, she was safe. Safe from the judgment of her beliefs, or from lasers coming straight at her because he was always there for her, even when she felt like she didn't need it.
Fortunately, and unfortunately, there was no need for the lightsaber right now. While it seems great, there hasn't been any action that the saber has seen for four years, which also meant that its true owner was nowhere to be found. So, its only use for the longest was just another thing that Sabine carried on her from day to day just like her Westars, with the occasional brush up with the forms that she was taught. Even rarer than that was when Hera would come by, she would let Sabine teach Jacen a little bit. Nothing over the top, just the basic forms and sometimes an illustration device for when she was retelling an adventure the Ghost Crew went on, most of them were real, some had a little exaggeration in it to keep his attention, and very few she told were completely made up.
Looking back down at the lightsaber, Sabine thought about what Kanaan and Ezra had said.
' "This weapon is your life, Ezra ."
'Sabine, I'm counting on you.'
He said that sentence, went into ventilation, only to be heard again through a comm, then Chopper gave her Ezra's lightsaber. The last time she heard from him was from another recorded message, separate from the one everyone else heard, one she kept with her at all times and listens to at least once a week.
"WHAT ARE YOU COUNTING ON ME TO DO, STAY HERE FOR MANDA KNOWS HOW LONG AND WAIT FOR YOU, I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE I CAN DO!, her anger subsided, her eyes tearing up as turned her gaze to the sky that was now turning to a clash of orange and pink, "what is it you want me to do, I can't wait forever," she chuckled, "my mother wants me to see her you know, and I've kept telling her that I will see her soon. It's been four years, Ezra, and if you learned anything from our time together on the Ghost then you know it's not a good idea for you to keep a Mandalorian woman waiting."
As she finished up reminiscing and thinking, a gust of wind passed through and at that moment it was almost as if Ezra's voice was carried through the however many lightyears away to be just over a whisper "It's okay Sabine, soon, you'll get to meet me soon."
"But how long." She whispered back and waited for an answer but there came none. So, she returned to the Tower thinking she was going crazy and finished unpacking to take her mind off him, which took a lot longer than expected.
It hasn't been three days since she moved into the Tower that she will have guests, very special guests, some that probably shouldn't be here, type of guests. As soon as Hera heard that Sabine had finally settled down in the newly renovated Comm Tower, Hera was adamant about coming down to visit her, while Sabine was adamant about her not coming. The reason was out of pure intellect, someone as high as Hera in the Rebellion should not waste what precious time that they have out on a neutral world chatting with a friend while a war was needing to be won. The next thing was that there hasn't been a major confrontation since the Hoth incident, which was the last time the whole Ghost crew was on Lothal. This means that there is going to be a major battle coming soon, so it is better to have the best general ready than to have to track her down on some other planet.
Although the last time Hera had some downtime was when she visited about two years ago, she had been on Lothal after that but that was to drop off Jacen for Sabine to watch. So maybe it was time for a break for Hera and her motley crew but it doesn't mean she should visit now. But when they talked last night Hera just wanted some time to visit with her 'daughter' and get away from all the testosterone
"It's been so long since I've had a conversation with a woman that hasn't been my commanding officer." Hera started.
"Oh, so that's the reason for your visit," Sabine responded smartly with a smirk on her face.
"You know that's not it Sabine," she chided back "it's just that Mon Mothma is well Mon Mothma, I don't think she has any emotion, and Leia who has galivanting across the galaxy with Luke, and Han. She hasn't been sticking in one place for a while. Plus, I miss you Sabine, and want to check up on you to see how you're doing."
"I'm doing fine, Hera." She lied through her teeth.
Not convincing enough, "Mhmmm" was the response.
"I'm doing exactly what you're doing, Hera. Working my sheb off long enough to not think about them."
"Well Sabine," Hera started like she was about to rant "take it from me. That's not the way to do it, grieving is natural for anyone, even Mandalorians. Why don't you learn from my mistakes and try not to make them as well, if not for me then do it for Ezra." Finishing with a stern glare that said 'Don't try me' only to be met with the same stare being thrown right back at her.
And with that statement the staring contest began, the battle between the Mandalorian and the Mother. There was silence over the holo call for a good fifteen seconds before one of them caved
"You know what, fine if you want to go ahead and spend countless hours waiting, trying to figure out what I already know then have it your way…" she paused to look at the girl that she had raised from her teens to adulthood with a smirk, "but that doesn't mean I'm not going to visit. I mean really, I need a break, you need a break, and Jacen is really missing you and wants to see you. Plus, I want to get off this force forsaken planet, I need to fly." She finished once again, having a look in her eye that was just speaking of exhaustion on the ground and longing for the sky.
To be honest, Sabine did need a break, not that she would mention or even tell Hera, not to mention she did want to see the wild child. It was always to tell stories to the kid about his father and uncle, always wanting to reenact them afterward.
"Please 'Bine, I miss you." A voice from the distance stated.
Hera looked over her shoulder with fondness and surprise, "Aren't you supposed to be in bed, young man."
"I'm 'posed to be, but I heard 'Bine's voice and I thought she was here. I just wanted to say 'hi'." Jacen looked over to the holo and with a toothy smile stated, "Hi 'Bine, night 'Bine."
"Good night, Jace," and with that Jacen walked back to the room. Both women turned back to each other and stared right at each other, one of them had a knowing smirk and the other a look of defeat.
"You're going to come here whether I want you to or not," Sabine stated
"Most of the time I would but this time… no. I need time off, you need time off and Jacen, well I just want Jacen in… better company than he usually is. Plus, I forgot to give you something when you moved out of the Ghost. So two birds with one stone.
As Sabine watched the Ghost land and open up, she thought to herself, Maybe this won't be so bad.
A/N: This is my second try at writing this, I have made some changes from the last time. I will say that I still can't write a summary to save my life, I'm sorry but it is what it is. As I wrote in the summary, for now, this will be a one-shot however there is more and I am willing to revise and write more if you all do like it. Please let me know. Also if you want to beta my writing let me know I will appreciate the help.
DoR