"Norse American"

(Or "Now and Sven!")

"WELL THE LAST TIME YOU REMEMBER, ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE, ALONG WITH LEIF ERICKSON AND HIS VIKING CREW ARRIVED IN VINLAND...WHICH WOULD BE KNOWN AS NEWFOUNDLAND CENTURIES LATER!"

"Come forth men!" Leif exclaimed as he unsheathed his sword. "LET US COLONIZE THIS LAND IN THE NAME OF ODIN!"

"Yay." The Vikings cheered in unison.

"But m'Lord?" Björn asked, sheepishly raising his hand. "Shouldn't we make peace with the natives?"

"PEACE?!" Leif exclaimed, then riotously laughed. "VIKINGS KNOW NOT THE VIRTUES OF PEACE!! WE KNOW THIS LAND IS OURS AND IF WE TRULY DESIRE IT, WE MUST PRY IT FROM THEIR COLD, DEAD GRASPS!"

"Yea." Every Viking cheered.

"Wow, he's brutal." Bullwinkle replied, whistling.

"Yep. He's a Viking." Rocky remarked.

"AND SO, OUR HEROES TRAVERSED THE LAND, FOLLOWING LEIF IN SEARCH OF NATIVES."

"If he finds them can we leave to the present day?" Rocky asked. "I really don't wanna see what racist things he'll say and do."

"Yes we may." Peabody replied. "That's completely understandable, Rocket."

"They should be just over here, men!" Leif exclaimed, using his sword to chop away a huge bush.

"IT WAS NOT NATIVES, RATHER, A HERD OF CANADIAN MOOSE….they were all gathered around an ice rink, playing hockey with sticks."

"Oh hey dere'!" A random moose exclaimed, adjusting his tuque. "You boys wanna play some hockey?"

"LET ME REPHRASE THAT—THEY WERE A HERD OF EXTREMELY CANADIAN MOOSE."

"But where are the hostile natives?!" Leif exclaimed in disbe-Leif (hah!).

"Ohhhh the natives." The moose replied. "Yea fer sure, that'd be those fellas over there, bud--"

"THE CANADIAN MOOSE IMMEDIATELY POINTED TO A HILLSIDE SURROUNDED BY THOUSANDS OF INDIGENOUS PEOPLE OF THE BEOTHUK TRIBE."

"--An' I wouldn't say they're hostile." The moose continued. "They just don't like people like you hosers steppin' where ya don't belong, eh?"

"AND WITH THAT, THE NATIVES FIRED FLAMING ARROWS AT LEIF AND CREW, ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE GRASPED EACH OTHER IN TERROR."

"Well, we're dead. RUN FOR YOUR FREAKIN' LIVES!" Bullwinkle exclaimed.

"RE-TREEEEEEAT!!" Leif exclaimed.

"LEIF, HIS VIKING CREW, ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE, AS WELL AS MR. PEABODY ALL RAN BACK TO THE LONGBOAT AND SAILED AWAY FROM THE BEACH."

"Come back soon, eh?" The Canadian moose hollered from the distance.

"That was a close one!" Rocky exclaimed. "You okay, Bullwinkle?"

"Yeah but I'm feelin' a slight pinch..." Bullwinkle replied, turning around and not even noticing the flaming arrow in his left buttock.

"ROCKY QUICKLY REMOVED THE ARROW BEFORE BULLWINKLE COULD NOTICE."

"Y'know Rocky, all these Vikings here were illiterate, they couldn't read like you and I." Peabody spoke, then pointed at a red headed Viking, looking at a manuscript. "Except for that one…"

"Who's he?" Rocky asked.

"Come now, Rocket," Peabody replied, smiling and raising his eyebrows. "Haven't you heard of the infamous Viking "Eric the READ?!""

"ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE WERE SPEECHLESS."

"That's gotta be the worst pun yet." Rocky remarked.

"Well I thought it was humorous—OW!" Peabody exclaimed as a Viking whacked him on the head with his club.

"WELL THAT ABOUT WRAPS UP THIS EPIC EPISODE! MAKE SURE TO BE WITH US NEXT TIME FOR ANOTHER EXCITING EPISODE OF ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE!"

End.

A/N:

Ratatoskr is a Nordic squirrel god, believed to have climbed the World Tree, Yddragsil and spread gossip throughout the nine realms.