Chakotay sat in his hotel room, staring out onto the vastness of the bay. San Francisco was drenched in golden sunshine, the slight breeze causing the waves to gently lap against the shore. He hadn't been back to Earth for nearly five months; he had been too ashamed of himself to stay Earthside for a day longer after the debriefings ended.

His relationship with Seven had been a huge mistake, causing his entire life to crumble away within mere days of returning to Earth. B'Elanna had scolded him for taking advantage of Seven's innocence, Mike had called it a 'cock-driven' midlife crisis, the Doctor had stopped talking to him completely, and Kathryn… Kathryn had smiled and wished him well. For a few brief moments he had believed she meant it, but he had noticed the walls she had drawn up between them before he had even properly unpacked.

Their dinners were no more; their friendly get-togethers and casual conversations after duty stopping abruptly. He had tried to tell himself it was the stress, that she was overwhelmed by the havoc Starfleet created with debriefing and press conferences. Yet, deep down, he had always known that he had let her down. As the weeks of debriefings went on, he had seen less and less of her until one day she had gone from his life.

It hadn't taken him nor Seven very long to realize that their whole… entanglement had been a mistake that needed correction. After their return they had very swiftly ended their brief liaison and had gone their separate ways. However, that hadn't stopped Kathryn from pushing him away. Hoping that time and space to think was all she needed, he had travelled to Dorvan to see his sister and help rebuild their tribal settlement.

In the five months he had been gone he had not once heard from Kathryn. It was the mere mention of a summer event at Starfleet headquarters by B'Elanna that had him running back to Earth, begging every deity in the goddamn universe that he'd bump into her there. He'd suffered daily on Dorvan, missing her more than was considered normal, thinking of her constantly and bringing her up in conversations regularly. He hadn't liked it when Sekaya had called him a lovesick fool, but she had been right.

He'd been in love with Kathryn since the day he'd met her and he'd been a fool to keep quiet about his feelings for almost eight years. Only once had he been close to telling her, but she had put a stop to it before he could even begin to dream about the new possibilities his invented legend could bring with it.

Quietly he sighed before looking down at the book in his hands. He had found an ancient copy of Jane Austen's Persuasion at one of San Francisco's antiques markets and knowing how much Kathryn loved Austen, he'd bought it for her without a second's thought. It was a beautiful vintage copy, the passing of time visible on the worn leather binding and the slight yellow tint of the pages, but in extraordinary good condition for its age.

Chakotay had wanted to give it to her at Starfleet's summer event yesterday but the moment had never been right. Always too many people surrounding them and not once a moment for a private exchange. She had seemed genuinely happy to see him and his heart had instantly swelled with hope that perhaps not everything between them was lost. Oh, she was still bitter about his relationship with Seven. He knew this because he had overheard her having a slightly melancholy conversation with some admiral about long distance relationships and love but he still hoped that there would be a way forward for them. She'd clung to Chakotay's arm at one point, joking and chatting with the crew as if nothing had ever changed. She'd even gone as far as issuing an invitation to all their Earthbound crew to visit her in Indiana tonight for a barbeque party at her mother's house, including him.

His fingers lazily trailed along the edge of the book. It was still ten hours until the party in Indiana. He would see her for lunch before then, but the other senior officers were going to be present there too, so he wouldn't have a chance to talk to her privately at lunch. He rubbed his eyes as if he could wipe away his dread. He needed to apologize for letting her down, tell her the truth about him and Seven, and confess his feelings for her. He'd waited far too long for it all.

He sighed again, opening the book before him. He'd never read the novel but he knew what it was about since Kathryn had told him once in detailed length. She'd even said the book contained one of the most romantic love letters ever written. Silently he flicked through the pages, not really reading anything that was written on the paper until, towards the end of the book, a page written in italics caught his eyes. He skimmed over the words, smiling as an idea formed in his head.

Lunch had been enjoyable. Tom and B'Elanna had told some funny stories of Miral, Tuvok had recovered fully and was back to his usual stoic self, and Harry had brought his new girlfriend along, boasting about the great adventures he'd lived through in the Delta Quadrant. Kathryn had laughed and relaxed more than he could remember seeing her, their eyes meeting across the table ever so often only to linger for a moment before looking away and blushing.

Chakotay, even though still very agitated about their whole unresolved business, smiled to himself whenever he'd caught her looking. It was obvious she wanted to flirt with him, to fall back into their usual routine, but whenever she did get caught, she looked away as if she was avoiding him. He could tell she was already torn between forgiving him and being mad.

As the lunch party broke up he lingered for a moment, waiting for everybody else to leave. He knew Kathryn had to get back to her office and didn't have much time, but as she stood and grabbed the coat off the back of her chair, he stepped closer. Carefully, he placed a small wrapped package and a letter onto the table.

"Kathryn, will you please accept this?" he asked and with a confused countenance, she looked at his offerings on the table. Before she got a chance to reply he smiled and gave a friendly nod before he stepped away, disappearing into the San Francisco crowd. Once he believed her eyes had lost him, he ducked behind a tree, watching her from the distance.

She stood there silently before she sunk back into her chair and opened the parcel. She smiled brightly as her eyes landed on the book, her fingers tracing the golden writing. Persuasion . He'd remembered how much she loved it. She bit her lips before she opened up the envelope, expecting a card, only to find an old fashioned letter. Deciphering Chakotay's terrible handwriting was no easy task, but as soon as she realized what she was holding, a small sob escaped her lips and her hand flew to her mouth.

"I can listen no longer in silence. I must speak to you by such means as are within my reach. You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone forever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own, than when you almost broke it six years ago on a planet far far away.
Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you. Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant. You alone have brought me peace. For you alone I think and plan. - Have you not seen this? Can you fail to have understood my wishes? - I had not waited even these two days, could I have read your feelings, as I think you must have penetrated mine. I can hardly write. I am every instant hearing something which overpowers me. You sink your voice, but I can distinguish the tones of that voice, when they would be lost on others. - Too good, too excellent creature! You do us justice indeed. You do believe that there is true attachment and consistency among men. Believe it to be most fervent, most undeviating in me.

I must go, uncertain of my fate; but I shall return hither, or follow to your party as soon as possible. A word, a look will be enough to decide whether I enter your mother's house this evening, or never.

- Chakotay"

Hastily, she wiped away a small tear that had rolled down her cheeks, before she got up to look around, hoping to catch the sight of him. Her eyes scanned the promenade and there, in the middle of the greenery off the main path, he stood. He buried his hands deep in his pocket, his head hanging down as if to show guilt, watching her. Kathryn pressed the letter to her chest and Chakotay swayed nervously from one foot to the other when she didn't show any other reaction. Suffocating fear that he'd just blown every chance he'd ever had crept up his neck, choking him but then...

...then…

...she smiled.

- Fin. -