Guys Night Part 2
"Yeesh, this traffic's a heckin' nightmare." Bill complained as he leaned his head sideways against the driver's side window. Meanwhile Cricket was starting to look drowsy from the sheer boredom.
"We'd be out of it by now if you just took the shortcut I suggested." Chip snarked, picking at his fingernails as he mindlessly scrolled through his phone.
Bill sighed. "Chip I mean this in the kindest way possible ,but your shortcuts can be quite, dizzying sometimes." And that was putting it mildly.
Chip arched a confused brow, finally looking up from his screen. "What are you talking about?"
"Well, like that time you had me cut through the park,….and then the department store..." Not to mention the time Chip made him go through the sewer.
Chip scoffed. "It saved us time, didn't it?"
Bill sighed again, rubbing his forehead in exasperation. It was even worse when Ma was the one he was giving directions to, a match made in the underworld. "Who on Earth taught you to drive like that?"
At that Chip had to frown, pursing his mouth to the side as he thought.
"Heckin heck we're gonna be stuck here all day at this rate." Dad groaned, looking over his shoulder. "I'm taking a short cut."
Mom's eyes flew open like a Splish can as Dad proceeded to crank the car into reverse.
"Oh no not again=Chip get your helmet on quick!"
Chip shrugged. "Can't remember."
"Urghh! we gotta do something, guys' night is wasting away before our very eyes!" Cricket bemoaned dramatically, shaking his fists in despair.
Bill hummed, leaning forward as he squinted his eyes in the blinding city lights. They widened a second later. "Hey, looks like there's a skate park up ahead at the next turn, that sounds like fun, don't it?"
Chip raised his brows as he followed the finger Bill had pointed towards the place. "Um, I'd actually prefer to not wrinkle this suit so-"
"Skate park it is!" Cricket sang triumphantly as Bill flipped the Kludge's turn signal on.
"~Fun, fun, fun,fun~" Everyone except Alice was singing along to the radio as they waited out the heavy traffic.
"Hey Tilly, toss me a Chocopop." Tilly did just that as Gloria leaned over the gear shifter, catching the pop in her mouth. Nancy laughed as she leaned against the passenger side window, her hair flying in the wind.
Hopefully Bill wasn't getting too lonely back at the house.
"Okay took me a couple tries ,but I think I got the hang of-" Cricket cut himself off as he face planted into the concrete for the tenth time in the fifteen minutes since they arrived.
Bill winced, panicking just slightly as he helped his son to his wheel clad feet. "Easy, easy, there you go."
Cricket huffed as he was righted. "Why is it so flip flapping hard to stay upright!"
Chip shrugged, leaning against one of the ramps with his hands stuffed in his pockets. "You do have kind of a big head."
"Chip, hurtful!" Bill and Cricket chided together.
Chip rolled his eyes, gliding away on his skates with relative ease.
Cricket grumbled a plethora of insults as he leaned against the metal fence for support. Meanwhile Bill watched a pack of teenagers take turns doing tricks over by the corner. One of them skated directly into the fence just so they could do a backflip off it.
Normally Bill wouldn't give two hoots about that reckless kind of showboating- directly discouraged it if anything-, but it was guys' night, and he had promised to show the boys some good ole cut loosery.
"I'm just wondering if I can pull it off in skates…" Bill mused to himself as Chip circled back around.
"Okay this place blows, someone I thought I was their dad, as if. " The blonde scoffed. "So probably about time we ditched."
"Well hang on, I was actually thinking of trying something." Bill explained as he adjusted his skates and stretched against the fence. Cricket's head popped up in interest.
Chip's eyes widened. "You're kidding right? Bill, you're not seriously gonna try to do a trick, you'll hurt yourself, and I'm not even sure you could afford the hospital bills."
Bill frowned. "Huh? You really don't think I can pull it off?"
"Not really, no." Chip replied. Well at least he was honest. "I mean unless you were some kind of gymnastics prodigy in a past life."
"Well funny that you mention that Chip becau-" Bill cut himself off as Cricket hopped into the conversation-literally- and shushed the farmer with a quick arm tug.
"So you're pretty confident about that?" Cricket prodded with a mischievous smirk.
Chip raised an arrogant brow. "Uh yeah, like sorry ,but I just don't see your Dad of all people doing a flip. See I was born with this crazy condition called realism, you should totally look it up sometime."
"Uh huh, and you're sure?"
"Yeah, positive." Chip rolled his eyes.
Cricket was obviously fighting back the stretch of his smirk as he hummed. "So sure you'd wear a pair of overalls for the rest of the night if Dad does this flip."
Chip scoffed with an arm cross. "Okay, sure Cricket, sure."
Bill couldn't help ,but shake his head. He didn't realize he'd raised such a cruel, cruel son.
"Well, with all that riding this, I suppose I shouldn't keep you waiting." Bill cut in. He watched Cricket stifle a giggle whilst Chip's face dropped in concern.
"Okay seriously Bill, c'mon let's stop before you-Bill!" Chip shouted, reaching his hand out too late as Bill skated off, building momentum as he headed straight for the fence.
He stumbled a little on the landing, but hey no one's perfect.
"Whoo, what a rush." Bill laughed as he skated back, dusting off his shoulder. He high fived his son as the teens nearby hooped and hollered in solidarity. "Guess I still got it." In fairness to Chip, Bill knew he was definitely gonna regret this come morning. His poor back would be begging for mercy.
Chip's jaw practically smacked against the concrete, his arms now hanging limp at his sides. Even his goatee seemed to have fallen flat in dumbfoundedness.
Bill hummed, scratching his chin in thought. "Now I believe I saw a department store a mile back." And if they didn't have any overalls, Bill was sure they could find some at the mall.
Chip's eyes widened and he finally seemed to snap out of it. "Okay haha, very funny. You got me." Chip forced out a nervous chuckle as Cricket and Bill slowly started to enclose him . "But, like you aren't honestly gonna hold me to that, I was clearly jokin-Guys seriously stop looking at me like that, I mean it, stay back!"
"Alright ladies, here we are." Gloria announced as she cranked her car into park. Tilly already had her face pressed up against the window as they opened the car doors.
"You ready for some rock climbing sug'?" Nancy stretched her arms above her head with a groan as they started walking towards the entrance.
"I've been preparing to mount this summit for days now." Tilly clarified, strapping on a pair of snow goggles. "And I'm more than ready to face any harsh conditions that may come our way."
Alice scoffed beside her. "There ain't gonna be no harsh conditions, it's indoors! Who even thought of such a dumb idea."
Nancy suppressed an annoyed moan as they walked inside and signed the waivers.
"Back in my day, we climbed real mountains, and there weren't no 'safety harnesses' either, just a piece of frayed rope kept together with duct tape and chewing gum, the way rock climbing was meant to be enjoyed!" Alice shook her fist in the air, whilst Nancy fought the urge to roll her eyes as they received their safety harnesses.
"Okay you gonna be a negative Nelly the whole night, or are you gonna climb?" They found what seemed to be a relatively easy place to start in the back. A couple of little kids were even hanging around.
"I'll climb when I'm good and ready!" Alice huffed, turning her head away with an arm cross.
Gloria shrugged as she finished hooking one of the climbing ropes to her harness.
Tilly stared up the large gray wall with a mixture of awe and determination. Nancy was just glad she convinced her to leave the pickaxe in the car.
"Alright," Gloria cracked her back. "What do you say we start this night off with a little competition Tils?"
"I am intrigued." The ravenette answered earnestly.
"First one to the top has to buy the other a Splish." Gloria decided. "And why don't you go on first, I'll let you have a head start."
Tilly shrugged as she turned towards the adjacent path. Gloria started to laugh to herself as Tilly started climbing…and that laughter quickly turned sour as she realized how fast Tilly was climbing.
"What the-okay headstart over!" Gloria yelled as she scrambled up her own path. Nancy was so busy cracking up she almost didn't realize Alice was using her cane to grab onto the plastic rocks as she climbed.
"Alice, that's not how you-oh forget it." Nancy sighed as she started climbing up the wall.
It was girls night so, heck, anything goes.
"Except getting arrested, gotta remember that." Nancy chided herself.
"It's like you want me to start hating your family again." Chip grouched, holding his folded arms in tight as they exited the department store. Cricket and Bill had-quite literally- dragged him inside kicking and screaming. He would have gotten away too if Cricket hadn't gone for his ankles.
"Aw c'mon Chip, you look great." Cricket laughed, elbowing Chip in the side as they hopped into the Kludge.
"False. No one in the history of ever has looked great in overalls!" Chip threw his arms out. They couldn't even find a pair that fit , and now his ankles were gonna be exposed all night long like a backwater hillbilly. "That's because they're the worst article of clothing ever invented!"
"Even worse than hammer pants?" Bill asked genuinely as they pulled out of the parking lot.
Chip huffed, sulking further into the leather seats. "And I cannot believe you guys tricked me like that!"
Cricket and Bill shared a look over his head.
"Wait, wait, so let me get this straight. You're saying it sucks eggs to be lied to and taken advantage of?" Cricket asked, waving his hands over his head like his mind had just been blown.
"Uh yeah. It's the flipping worst." Chip complained. "And it's like, really mean too, how could you-wait a minute…" Chip narrowed his eyes in thought. "Okay, haha very funny. Chip's a hypocrite." His realization was met with more giggling as Bill playfully ruffled his hair in apology.
Bill wiped a nonexistent tear from his eye a second later. "Alright, I don't know about y'all ,but I'm starting to get a little peckish. Y'all see anywhere we can eat?"
Cricket narrowed his eyes as he looked out the passenger side window. "Uh, what about that place?"
Bill and Chip frowned as they followed Cricket's thumb to what appeared to be a dingy little pub on the other side of the street.
"Uh, I'm not so sure Cricket." Bill admitted. "It doesn't seem very safe."
"What do you mean, they have a dolphin painted on the door." The same door in which a man had just been thrown through before running off into the night with a high pitched scream. "I'm sure it's plenty safe." Cricket waved them off. "Besides, it's guys night guys, live a little."
Bill shared a look with Chip as he hesitantly circled back around and pulled into the parking lot.
"Anything happens you are to grab Cricket and run." Bill leaned in to mutter to Chip.
"Noted." Chip nodded as Bill finally worked up the courage to take the Kludge key out.