Guys' Night Part 3
Bill wasn't sure what scared him more, the numerous knives decorating the door as they walked in, or the evil eye the waitress was giving them as soon as they sat down. "So that's two waters and a Splish." The waitress paused to spit. "I'll be back in- none of your blorting business. enjoy the atmosphere."
A little hard, considering the only person Bill could see enjoying this place would have to also enjoy the sounds of pained screams and broken bones. So Ma.
"Urgh I can't read this stupid menu, everything's covered in bloodstains." Chip complained, crossing his arms with a huff.
Cricket shrugged. "Eh, just order the fish tacos then, they always have fish tacos."
Bill sighed, nervously playing with one of the brown napkins as he counted the seconds til they could high tail it out of here.
Cricket perked up, seemingly in notice, as he pursed his lips to the side. "Hey, you know what?" He took the resounding silence as his queue to continue. "We should play a game while we wait! How about truth or dare?"
Cricket cut them off before either could respond. "Great! Dad, truth or dare?"
Bill's eyes widened. "Uh,"
"Oh and you can't pick truth more than two turns in a row."
The farmer rubbed the back of his neck. "Okay.. well then dare." His son probably wouldn't have anything too daring planned on the first go aroun-
"I dare you to do a thirty second handstand on the table."
Or not.
"Okay, someone else, go." Bill panted as he sat back down in the booth. He was amazed he could still talk with all the blood rushing to his head. He was even more amazed he didn't get that many stares from the other compatriots. "Chip, truth or dare?"
The blonde blinked. "Uh yeah, after witnessing that. I'mma go with truth."
"Alright then," Bill couldn't think of anything particularly original at the moment. "I don't know uh, who was your first crush?"
"Pft, that's easy." Chip snarked. "No one. When you're this drop dead gorgeous you get crushed on, not the other way around."
Bill shared a skeptical side eye with his son as they gave Chip the flattest, most unimpressed look imaginable.
"Okay fine," Chip groaned as he cracked under the pressure. "It was the gre-..." He mumbled the last part so low Bill couldn't hear.
Bill raised a brow. "Wait what? I didn't quite catch that?"
Chip rolled his eyes. "I said,it was the uh.." Chip coughed. "Green..Giantess."
Bill frowned, sharing a bewildered look with Cricket as Chip face palmed. "The Green Giantess?" Something about it sounded familiar ,but he couldn't quite remember where he'd heard-
"Wait, wait, you mean the big green lady from those canned green bean commercials?" Cricket asked. "Your first crush was a fictional vegetable mascot?"
Chip's face flushed as Cricket started cackling like a hyena.
"Alright, calm down I was ten!" Chip crossed his arms. "Obviously I grew out of it okay, it's not like I still dream at night that she'll pry off my bedroom roof one day and whisk me off to her magic green bean castle-" Chip cut himself off, shaking his head defensively. "Shut up!"
Cricket wiped a real tear from his eye as Chip rolled his eyes again with an irritated frown. "Whatever, Cricket truth or dare?"
"Well dare obviously."
"Okay I dare you to pick truth." Chip raised a brow at Bill and Cricket's annoyed groans. You never do that! That was just truth or dare etiquette.
"Urghh fine. Truth." Cricket aquised, deflating against the table.
"What did you do with my toothbrush?" Chip asked immediately.
Cricket's eyes popped open real fast. His thumbs had already started twiddling themselves into knots. "Uhhhhh-Wait loophole! You can't ask it like that. Gotta be is 'Is it true that' type of question!" Cricket sighed as he smugly crossed his arms behind his head and kicked his feet up on the table.
"What?! But Bill didn't-" Chip cut himself off with a defeated groan. "Urgh fine-Cricket, is it true that you know what happened to my toothbrush?"
Cricket's eyes widened again as Chip leaned in, his eyes narrowed. The boy started to sweat.
"Well? Answer the question."
"No comment?" Cricket tried with a guilty smile.
"Cricket."
Bill couldn't help ,but raise his brow in amusement as he watched.
"Okay fine! Yes! I know what happened to your stupid toothbrush." Cricket finally admitted with a self righteous headshake. "But, trust me when I tell you, you don't wanna know what I know."
Cricket's gaze hardened as he stared out into space. "There were no survivors that fateful day-"
"You dropped it in the toilet didn't you?" Chip crossed his arms again.
"It was an accident! I just wanted to see if I could summon a lightning strike."
"Cricket I told you that is NOT how electric toothbrushes work!"
Bill sighed, leaning his cheek on his fist as the younger half of his party began to argue.
"See I told you, they'd have fish tacos." Cricket said as he led the way outside.
"I don't know what they put in that stupid taco, but it was definitely not fish." Chip shuddered, hugging his arms.
"Woah." Cricket paused mid step, letting his head snap in the direction of the dozens of bikes currently occupying the front row of parking spots. "Shinyyy."
Bill's eyes widened in panic as he grabbed his son's hand before he could touch one of them. "Oh no, no, no. I see where this is going." Bill firmly guided Chip and Cricket away from the bikes. "We are not going to accidentally tip all these bikes over and cause a mob of rough and tumble biker gangs to come after us." Once was enough.
"Aw c'mon dad, have a little more faith in me than that." Cricket whined, clutching his to go bag. "Don't you trust me at all?"
"It's not about trust, son." Bill sighed, rubbing his forehead. "Look I know we want to have fun tonight, but I still need you and Chip to be careful otherwise-"
Bill had not realized that, while he was lecturing he accidentally took one too many steps backwards, and nudged one of the bikes off its kickstand, causing it to tip over.
That caused a domino effect, real fast.
"Oh cripe." Bill muttered as he stared out at the sea of fallen motorcycles.
Chip blinked, offering a half hearted shrug. "Well, at least no one heard that."
Course as soon as he said that, the pub's door was subsequently kicked open by a random compatriot and a bunch of bikers came flooding out into the parking lot.
Cricket turned a flat look up to Chip. "You were saying?"
"What the! Sheila!" A random biker cried as he ran to his bike, falling to his knees as he tended to her. "How could this have happened!?"
"Oh boy…" Bill gulped as they were quickly surrounded. "Uh-"
"Wait a minute, Cricket Green is that you?!" Bill turned a stunned eye to his son as someone stuck their head above the crowd and marched over.
"Huh," Cricket frowned as he looked up at the figure towering over them. A strangely familiar figure actually, hold on-
"Wait, Skids?!" Cricket yelled, quickly hopping up to Bill's shoulder.
Bill raised a confused brow as he looked up at the eye patch wielding biker woman. "Skids? Now where have I heard-...Oh,oh I remember, you're that kid Nancy used to ride with."
Skid's uncovered eye momentarily widened before narrowing again. "Right. And you're that farmer she ran off with, also call me kid again and I'll be dragging your body to the dumps by morning, in a sack."
"Cause you'll be dead." Some guy piped in behind her.
"Shut it Dan!" She barked before turning back to them.
Bill nervously tugged at his collar. "Heh right well, I'm real sorry about knocking over everyone's bikes, maybe there's something I can do to-"
"Oh there is." Skids interrupted, already cracking her knuckles. "You can take this rightfully deserved pounding."
"Aw what?!" Cricket piped up. "But I thought we were cool Skids! Remember? You said we had the Stingers off our back, you showed up with like half of Big City to help us defeat Chip-"
"Okay let's not exaggerate, it was like a third of Big City, at best." Chip cut in, unnecessarily.
Skid's eye only narrowed further as she cracked her neck. "Alright listen, while I can give the kid a pass, I'm afraid someone's still got to pay for this."
Bill felt the sweat start to drip from his forehead as he took a step back. "Ohhhh tater tots."
Beside him, Chip suddenly let out an annoyed sigh.
"Okay, why don't you guys let me do the talking now." Cricket and Bill shared a confused look as Chip cleared his throat and confidently stepped in front. He turned to Skids.
"Ahem." Enlarging his pupils to an almost impressive degree, he batted his eyes at her and said,
"Kawaii."
They just barely managed to escape the crowd, narrowly avoiding the plethora of axes and bar stools being thrown their way as they ran.
"Nice going!" Cricket panted as Dad stopped for just a second to hoist him up by the overalls.
"Eight times out of ten that works!" Chip shot back as they dove for the Kludge, Bill jammed the key inside just as the sounds of bikes being started up rang from outside. "Maybe if I wasn't wearing these STUPID overalls!"
"Oh suuuure. It's the overall's fault!"
"It obviously is!-By the way, you're gonna wanna make a left at the light." Chip calmly pointed out as Bill hastily swerved out of the parking lot. The farmer slammed on the gas like there was no tomorrow as the mob of Stingers became a couple of specs in the distance. "-And why do all overalls have to have a stupidly big pocket in the center?!" Chip complained, snapping back the fabric of his chest pocket. "No one's gonna need that much space there!?"
"It's for your change obviously." Cricket shook his chest pocket for emphasis, filling the Kludge with the sound of a hundred -probably sticky- coins clinging together. "So that way you don't have to go around carrying a purse."
"For the last time it's not a purse, it is a men's satchel!" Chip argued. "Bill-"
"Dad-"
"Little preoccupied!" The farmer interrupted as he swung the Kludge into another turn. After a few tense seconds Bill finally allowed himself to breathe. He couldn't see the Stingers anymore. "Looks like we finally lost them."
It would have been incredibly ironic if the Stingers were to pop out from behind a corner or something.
Thankfully that, didn't happen.
Because it was an officer of the law instead.
"What the-Oh no." Bill sighed, pinching the space between his brows as he quickly parked the Kludge by an empty sidewalk.
Chip and Cricket shared a look as the officer got out of his car. "Not a word." Bill quickly ordered as he rolled down his window, ignoring the boys' mumbling about him being the one to tip over the bikes in the first place.
"Hello Greens!" Officer Keys greeted as he came to stand beside their window. Bill couldn't help, but jump. Yeesh, was Keys the only cop in this city or what? "Oh and Whistler."
Chip rolled his eyes, turning to stare out the passenger window, apparently still feeling bitter about their last encounter.
"Well sorry to stop you this time of night. I just couldn't help ,but notice you were going a tad over the speed limit." Keys explained. "Fifty over to be exact."
Bill couldn't help ,but wince. "Shucks, sorry about that Keys. We just got so caught up in trying to escape my wife's old biker gang-"
"Say no more, we've all been there." Keys laughed good naturedly. "If you'll just hand me your driver's license we can have this over with in no time."
"Oh of course." Bill laughed nervously. "Just gotta find my…" Bill trailed off as he struggled to feel anything other than air in his pant's pocket. "Huh, maybe-" No it wasn't in his other pocket either. "That's weird I could of sworn I brought it out toni-"
Oh wait…
"I left my wallet back at the restaurant!" Bill realized in panic, clutching the sides of his head in terror.
"Ohhhhhhh-well see that's gonna be a problem because- and don't quote me on this-I believe driving without a license is against the law…"
"Okay so what? You gonna arrest us?" Chip snorted.
"Hey Chip, remind me to duct tape your mouth shut when we get home." Cricket deadpanned as he stared at the floor of the cop car.
"...yeah okay." Was all Chip could offer in reply, trying his best to drone out Bill's panicked breathing as he leaned against the window.
Well, at least this guys' night wasn't shaping up to be forgettable anytime soon.