I know it has been an absolute age since I last posted anything and you have my most sincere apologies! But I got a full time job and my writing time as been limited to pretty much none ... lol but I will try to get a little more as I sort out my schedule.
To all those who have been reading my other stories, I am truly grateful and would like to thank you for all the support!
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from the One Chicago world. All original characters are my own.
Darlin
Hailey was in near tears as she swayed back and forth. The motion had lost its sense of calm or purpose a while back but it was all she had left. She looked around, but they were just as helpless as she was.
"I … I don't understand…" Hailey stuttered over the cries of the babe in her arms. "How can she still be crying?"
Vanessa winced, as she twisted her hands into her hair. "How long has it been?"
"Too long." Hailey shifted, trying another position, but baby Ella only whimpered before continuing on her streak.
"I'm tired for her," Vanessa said shaking her head in pity. "Are you sure you don't wanna take her to Natalie or Will?"
Hailey shook her head because trying to speak over the cries was pointless. "She's not colic. She's been fed and changed and burped and every other thing those bloody books have told me to do!" She tried very hard not to let her frustrations show, fearing the baby would pick up on that too – if she hadn't already. "V, I've checked with Will. He said it was nothing to worry about," Hailey sighed when she saw her friend reaching for her phone.
"This isn't something a doctor can fix," Vanessa told her. "At least, I don't think it is."
Hailey didn't bother to ask what her friend thought it might be. She knew, without a doubt what it was. As silly as it might have sounded to someone else, Hailey knew her daughter was distraught to the point of endless tears because their family was currently missing one integral part to it; Jay. His paternity leave had just finished up and it was officially his first week back. Hailey had been nervous the first day he had gone back to work, but when the day had passed by relatively smoothly, she was newly optimistic. It was short-lived. Day two saw more tears and a new restlessness to baby Ella. Day three blossomed with lingering tiredness and what had dissolved into the current meltdown.
Hailey had wanted to message Jay, knowing he would be home without question, but she did not want it to come to that. This was – what she hoped – just a little adjustment bump. It would soothe itself out. Only it didn't feel like anything was soothing Ella.
Her cries, which had been loud and piercing for the first hour had dimmed to something of an endless whimper. It broke Hailey's heart because already she was feeling like she had failed her daughter. It wasn't just that Ella was crying non-stop. It was how she cried; like she was in pain and there was nothing that Hailey or Vanessa did to make it better.
"Shhh… please Ella…" Hailey whispered to her. "I've done everything I can." She brought her baby closer, her lips pressing a kiss to her head. "I miss him too but I promise he'll be home soon."
For a moment, Hailey thought Ella might have understood. Her cries quietened and all she did was hiccup. It lasted only for a beat before she scrunched her face up, and let out a long wail.
"Have you considered calling him?" Vanessa asked slowly.
Hailey looked about ready to cry at her question and immediately Vanessa felt guilty. "Hails… shit I didn't mean …"
"I know, I know," she mumbled, doing her best to hold back her tears. "I thought about calling him like three hours ago."
"Then why didn't you?" Vanessa scrambled off her seat towards Hailey.
"Because!" Hailey cried helplessly. She swayed from side to side, baby Ella whimpering in her arms. "I … I can't fail her already! She's my daughter and I should know what to do!" even as she said, Hailey had never felt so helpless.
"You're not failing her Hails," Her friend soothed. "You're both just … adjusting. It's gonna take some time."
"I know. But I don't want it to be like this. It can't be like this every day. She's going to cry herself sick! And what sort of mother would I be, if I let that happen?"
"She's not going to do that," Vanessa immediately countered. "Look, I think you're overthinking this a little. She misses him and you miss him. And that's okay. It's been just you three for some time now. There's no weakness in calling him, Hailey."
Hailey bit her lip, worrying it as she glanced down at Ella. Her face was red, flushed from the exertion of crying. Hailey brought a finger up, gently brushing it against her warm, wet cheek. Her daughter hiccupped, her cries softening for a moment at her mother's touch.
"V, what if … what if it's just me?" Hailey asked, her fears getting the best of her. Vanessa frowned, clearly not understanding the question. "All the books say babies can sense things. Your fears, your happiness, everything around them. They know without having to be told. What if … she knows I am no good at this?"
"Hailey!" Vanessa scolded sharply. "Don't be ridiculous! Ella can sense a lot of things, but the one thing I am certain she knows is how much you love her. There has never been a doubt in that, right?"
Hailey nodded, doing her best to wipe away her tears with her child in hand. "Right."
"She knows you love her and she – like Jay – knows you are good at this. You might not always have thought about being a mom but I know how much you want her. You told me yourself. Since the moment you found out, you've wanted her. That doesn't mean it won't be difficult. This is … just one of those really hard days. But there will be plenty more good days ahead."
Vanessa reached over and squeezed her hand as best she could. Ella whined; her little whimpers not forgotten.
The buzzing of a phone was almost lost but Hailey simply shifted Ella in her arms as Vanessa walked out of the lounge and into the kitchen. Hailey could vaguely hear her voice as she spoke and it was Ella that stole her attention once more.
Her baby girl was tired, she could see; her red face and watery eyes. Ella's hands were fisted together but she was not bawling as she had been before. Her cries were soft now, little whimpers that tore at Hailey's heart.
"I know you miss him," Hailey told her. She looked down, smiling softly, despite the anguish felt by them both. "It's pretty hard not to miss him." Ella's hand flew out of the blanket, still balled into a little fist. Hailey had stopped her gentle movements as she spoke, and Ella made it known that she didn't like that. "Okay, okay…" Hailey said quickly as she set another slow pace. She began walking the length of the room, humming as she passed between the couches.
"Hey, that was Voight," Vanessa said coming back into the room. She had a sorrowful look on her face and with a sinking realisation, Hailey already knew what she was going to say. "They need my help with something."
As much as she hated to say goodbye to her friend, Hailey understood. She nodded, reassuring her friend of that. "Go. we'll be okay."
"I know you will," Vanessa said with easy confidence. She looked at both Halstead girls and grinned. "You're gonna love my replacement."
Hailey chuckled wearily. "We don't need a babysitter, V. I'll manage… look, I think she's calming down a little."
They both looked down at the little girl, to see that Hailey was somewhat right. Ella was much calmer than before but Hailey wouldn't risk putting her down just yet.
"Really, we're going to be -"
"Don't fight it, Hailey. It's already been decided. I'm going to order you guys some food. Anything you'd like?"
Hailey simply shook her head. Truthfully, she did not have much of an appetite. But she knew Jay would appreciate the gesture. A few moments later Vanessa came back and she wasn't all that surprised to see that nothing much had changed. Hailey paced the space of the lounge, slow tentative steps as she hummed under her breath. Vanessa could hear the little restless cries from Ella and her heart did break for them both.
"Have you tried telling her a story?" Vanessa offered.
"I'm not much of a storyteller," Hailey admitted. "Besides I don't believe in fairytales and all the stories I know don't exactly have a happy ending."
"Fair enough, how about a song?" Vanessa smiled as Hailey seemed to think it over.
"What song?"
Vanessa shrugged. "Whatever comes to mind."
It took her a moment but Hailey finally settled on a song. Deciding to take it one step further she motioned to her cellphone and Vanessa handed it over. It was a quick search – thanks to Jay always fiddling with her music playlists.
When the beat started up Vanessa chortled and Hailey blushed. "You said the first one that comes to mind!"
"And this was what came to mind?"
"C'mon! It's sweet!" Hailey said as The Beach Boys crooned over them.
"But darlin' I'll find a way…" The song went on and Hailey glanced down at Ella. She picked up the words on the next beat, singing to her daughter. "To let you know what you meant to me," she sang softly. She did her best to ignore Vanessa who was beaming at them both. If she weren't so focused on Ella and the way her eyes – so much like her fathers – seemed to now follow her with such intent, she might have had the mind to grab the phone from Vanessa's hand. "I hold you in my heart," Hailey whispered more than sang. But it seemed Ella didn't mind. Her cries had died down to a soft whimper and a heavy hiccup.
"I think it's working," Hailey said mumbled. She didn't dare break the magic of the moment. She didn't hear Vanessa's reply but that was okay. All that mattered at that moment was her daughter; who was looking up at her with such wonder. This time when Ella's little hand flew up it was not clenched in a fist. Hailey caught it and instinctively, Ella wrapped her tiny fingers around Hailey's one finger. Hailey sucked in a deep rasping breath as The Beach Boys carried on in the background. She brought Ella's hand, still wrapped around her finger and pressed a kiss to it. This time she didn't bother to hold back the tears.
Deciding to chance it as she watched Ella's eyes droop shut, she placed the little girl in the bassinet. The song was coming to an end as Hailey finally let go of Ella. It was only a moment's silence, in which Hailey finally let herself breathe and Vanessa beamed up at her. Hailey took one step back and then another, slowly but before she could take the third, a loud screeching of a car outside filled the space and they both tensed. Ella shifted and squirmed and she didn't have to open her eyes to know she was not in her mother's arms. The silence lasted all of thirty seconds before little Ella was bawling again. Loud, unforgiving cries had both Hailey and Vanessa looking quite helpless and desperate.
"Oh god," Vanessa nearly cried as she face-planted into a pile of couch cushions.
Hailey tried soothing Ella without taking her out of the bassinet but it was no use. She had kicked her blankets free and her little hands were balled into fists as her feet kicked out fiercely. Hailey couldn't bare it any longer and quickly reached for her as Vanessa stood.
"Where are you going?" Hailey cried.
"To shoot something," Vanessa grumbled. It was a joke, a poor one but all their wits and humour had long since left them. She looked at the squalling baby shaking her head. "How … how is she still able to cry?"
"I don't care! Just tell me how to make it stop!" Hailey snapped. She was on the verge of tears too and Vanessa worried that she'd have two very emotional, crying girls soon.
"Uh… what if we play the song again?" she offered, scrambling for an idea. "She liked that!"
Hailey nodded and Vanessa reached for the phone trying to find the song. Hailey moved with a squirming Ella in her arms. Her little girl was crying herself red and she hated that there was no easy fix for this.
The song quickly started up and Hailey started singing as she had done before but it seemed that only once was a charm. It did nothing to soothe Ella, though she briefly wondered if it was because her daughter could hear the fear and frustration in her voice.
"It's not working, V!"
"Uhm… okay," Vanessa struggled for another idea as Hailey started a familiar path around the lounge. They tried all the things they had done earlier in the day. But it was more of the same rejection.
The doorbell went off a few minutes later and Vanessa answered it. A young pizza delivery boy stood on the other side as Ella's cries echoed from within the house. Vanessa plastered on a weak smile as she reached for the food.
"Everything alright?"
"Just peachy," she groused sarcastically.
Her reply had been reflexive and a second later, she felt a bit sorry for being so short with the man especially when he looked at her with something akin to sympathy. "Colic?" he asked.
"N-no," Vanessa answered. "She uh … she just won't stop." She pinched the bridge of her nose wincing as they heard Ella's choking cries and she was pretty sure Hailey must have been crying at this point too. The boy handed her the pizza and she gave him the cash. He was about to walk away when she stopped him. "How did you know about the colic thing?"
Surprisingly he smiled at her question. "My little sister cried non–stop. Like all the time," he answered. "My mom thought it was colic but it wasn't."
"So what was wrong?" Vanessa asked, desperate for an answer. Anything to make that precious baby stop crying.
"Nothing," he said and he was smiling again. She did not understand it and her confusion must have shown on her face. "Sometimes babies just cry."
With that and a small shrug, he left her with the pizza cooling in her hands. She took the long route around and dropped the pizza off in the kitchen before joining Hailey in the lounge again. She had been right, Hailey was crying too now.
"She hates me," Hailey whispered. "That's the only reason for it."
She sounded so defeated and so very much unlike her friend, it broke Vanessa's heart. "No. She does not. That sweet baby is incapable of hate because all she knows is love. From you and Jay."
"But … but …"
"She doesn't hate you," Vanessa repeated firmly. "C'mon let's try this again," she said with a little more determination. She found another song and Hailey tried the pacifier again.
"What about Voight?"
As another song started up, Vanessa waved it off. "Let me worry about that."
Jay walked in nearly thirty minutes later, to quite the sight. Hailey was pacing slow steps, back and forth, Vanessa was crumpled on the couch, the phone in her hand and her head buried between two pillows. And his daughter, his darling daughter, was in Hailey's arms, whimpering loud enough for him to hear over the music.
"What's going on here?"
"Jay!" Hailey choked back a sob at the sight of him.
Her reaction confused him, and it only grew when he saw how relieved Vanessa suddenly seemed. Hailey didn't stop her pacing, afraid of something, he knew, but what, he couldn't say.
"She …god Jay she won't stop crying," Hailey told him. Tears of her own ran down her cheek as she shook her head.
He could hear Ella's little whimpers as Hailey shushed and soothed her as best she could. But it was of little use.
He took a few steps towards them and Hailey saw that he had only managed to kick off his boots. His gun and badge were still strapped to his hip, but she found that she didn't have the energy to care.
"Hey, hey," he said softly, pushing the hair away from her face. Ella squirmed and Jay looked down at her to see those little cheeks flushed a violent red and tears as evident as Hailey's running down her face. Jay looked between his girls and his heart clenched. He reached up to cup Hailey's cheek and she sighed, leaning into his touch. It was the most comfort she had felt all day. If only they could give the same to Ella.
"She won't stop," Hailey told him. "It's been like this for hours now. I don't know what to do…"
"It's okay. We'll figure it out," he assured her. "Here, lemme take her and you can catch your breath for a moment." He offered.
Rationally Hailey loved the idea of that. A moment or two to gather her strength once more was exactly what she needed. But another part of her couldn't bear to leave Ella in her current state.
"No… no, I can't," she told him shaking her head. There was no doubt Hailey was as exhausted as Ella, but still, she held her little girl close. "I'm her mom… I should know what's wrong! I can…" she shook her head again, this time closing her eyes as more tears fell. "I can't," she told Jay in a broken whisper.
Jay gathered Hailey in his arms, their crying baby between them. He pressed a kiss to her forehead and he heard her exhale slowly. "I'm right here with you Hails. We'll do this together. I promise." His hands went over her to where she was holding Ella. "I've got her. I've got you both. I promise." Slowly Hailey withdrew her hands and Jay was able to shift Ella closer to him. She whimpered and he ran a hand down her back, soothingly. Hailey simply stared at the pair before she had the mind to reach up and brush away her tears. He gave her a reassuring nod and Hailey stepped back.
Hailey turned and disappeared around the corner, and Jay guessed, to the bathroom. He turned finally able to address Vanessa.
"Thanks for staying with them," he started.
"That's okay, Halstead. You can just buy me a new seat of ears," she teased though he heard the strain well enough.
"How bad was it?"
Vanessa shook her head, just barely lifting her face off the cushion. "She cried non-stop for hours. And then Hailey finally got her to settle but it must have lasted less than a minute before she was up again."
Jay swayed from side to side, glad to see that Ella wasn't crying as harshly as she had been. He looked at Vanessa again.
"We'd been dealing with that," Vanessa said gesturing to Ella in his arms, "for the majority of the time. Every time Hailey stopped moving or tried to put her down, she started up again." He didn't know what to make of that so he simply nodded a little tersely. "Hailey tried everything but I guess it was just one of those days."
"How did you manage to get her to settle then?"
"Well as it turns out your daughter likes being sung to. Especially when it's Hailey doing the singing," Vanessa answered and Jay couldn't help but smile. "It took us a while to figure it out, but I think from the moment Hailey started singing that song, she calmed down a little."
Jay had to know. "What song?"
Vanessa laughed and simply held up Hailey's phone for him to see. The song had been playing on repeat for a while and Vanessa was sure she had heard it enough to last a lifetime now.
"That's a good choice," Jay praised.
Vanessa hummed a weak response because at the start it was a great choice but after hearing it a few too many times over a crying baby, it warps into something else entirely. "Yeah, well it worked until it didn't."
Jay nodded and looked back at Ella once more. She wasn't crying, which was good but he could sense the restlessness in her and her always smiling face was now painted red and full of frustration. He would give it a few more minutes before trying something else.
"Vanessa, thank you for staying with them today. I know it was your day off." Jay said sincerely.
"Oh, I didn't mind. It was a hard day for them both but I'm glad I could be here to help."
"Listen, if you wanna head home you can. I got 'em," Jay told her.
She hesitated for a moment. "I don't want Hailey to think I just left her …"
"She won't. You know she won't," Jay reminded her.
Vanessa nodded and grabbed her stuff. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Besides, it was you they were waiting for, so I suppose they're in the hands that know them best!"
Jay chuckled and Vanessa went to grab her stuff. She glanced towards where Hailey had disappeared. "Give her an extra big hug when she comes back," she told Jay. She said her goodbyes to Ella who was now only hiccupping as her cries died down a little.
Vanessa closed the front door gently behind her as she left the Halstead home. For a while, it was just Jay and Ella. He did as he had seen Hailey do so many times before, he paced back and forth and hummed songs only his darling wife would ever think to remember. These were not fanciful nursery rhymes. No, Hailey had already settled for something a little more unique. As he sang – or hummed more like it – he tried twice to put Ella down in her bassinet but she merely cried and kicked up a fuss.
He didn't go for a third, knowing it would be more of the same. He was going for another lap around the lounge when Hailey finally re-emerged. He could see the blotchy stains on her cheeks from where she had rubbed her hands over them, most likely in frustration. She had managed to pull her hair into a neater ponytail and had thrown on a clean sweatshirt.
"Feeling better?" He didn't expect her to give him a flowery answer. He simply wanted the truth.
"No." She worried her bottom lip between her teeth as she walked over to them. Jay had stopped his pacing and Ella let it know in soft grumbles, her displeasure. It should have frustrated her but Jay had chuckled at that sound, looking down at her in wonderment.
"So fussy," he teased their little girl. When he looked back at her, he was all serious again. "That's okay."
"No! Jay. I don't think it is…" She shook her head, taking a step back from them. "Today, ugh ... today it genuinely felt like she hated every second with me. It felt like I was failing her at every moment."
"Hailey -"
"And it's not just that she spent a great deal of today crying. It was how she was crying. Like she was in pain and she was trying to tell me what to do, but I just … didn't understand."
Jay shifted Ella in his arms. He had stopped pacing but he had kept the gentle rocking motion going.
"What if I never understand her? Is every day going to be like this one?" she felt her tears and frustration and above all else, her fear, starting to build again. "She's everything to me, Jay. More than I ever thought possible and I can't bear that I'm already failing her."
"Hey, listen to me," he said, his voice leaving no room for argument. He grasped her hand in his, bringing it to rest against the bundle of blankets in his other arm. "You are not failing her. And I get to say that and it means something, not because you're my wife or her mother but because I am her father too. She is my responsibility just as much as she is yours and you have never let her down." He tugged gently on her arm until she was close enough that he could wrap his arm around her.
She sighed against him, rubbing her hand along Ella's blankets. "I know. I'm sorry. I'm just so exhausted."
"You don't have to apologise. I know. Why don't you try and get some sleep?" Jay offered but Hailey shook her head. "Hails, you just said it yourself, you're tired. You can't keep this up. I'm here now, for you both."
"Oh, I know that. it wasn't the sleep I was protesting to," she told him. "I just have no idea how you plan on getting her to stop crying. I assume she's shown you the new trick she learnt today?"
"The one where she cries hysterically every time I try to put her down?" Jay replied with a little good humour. "Yeah, it might have come up a time or two."
"You got a way around it? Because if not, neither of us is getting any rest till she either learns how to walk or drive. Whichever comes first," Hailey snarked though much of it was lost to a yawn.
Jay glanced down at her and she didn't miss the way his eyes sparkled. He leaned in, pressing a kiss to her temple, leaving her a little amused and very confused.
"Hailey Halstead, you're a genius." He praised and then turned to grab a few things around the room.
"Jay?"
He smiled and told her to grab their coats. She wanted to question further but honestly, she was too tired. It was a little difficult, but Jay managed to shuffle into his coat and boots, all with Ella in hand as Hailey followed suit. Hailey was grabbing Ella's bag when Jay took their little girl out to his truck. He turned the heat on and then started settling Ella in her car seat. When she was secure, he covered her with a blanket and got into the driver's seat. Ella fussed and Jay had to tell himself that those little cries of distress were only temporary. Hailey joined them a moment later and was about to hop in the front with Jay when she heard Ella's little whimpers. Without a moment's hesitation, she jumped into the back, sliding in beside her daughter's car seat.
"Where are we going," Hailey asked as they pulled out of their driveway.
"Nowhere."
"What?" she asked incredulously. "Jay…"
"This is the only way I can think of to get her down without tears," Jay supplied. "You're exhausted. She's exhausted. This will work. Trust me."
She did. But she didn't want to get her hopes up. It seemed almost too simple of an idea. A car ride to fix the non-stop crying?
Hailey didn't argue, simply nodding as Jay pulled out of their driveway. He drove slowly, with no true destination in mind. He glanced into the rear-view mirror, catching sight of Hailey as she watched Ella with trepidation.
They didn't speak so Ella's little whimpers carried loud enough in the car. Jay fiddled about and then soft melodies of a familiar song filled the truck. He heard Hailey's quiet gasp but neither said a word. As darlin played on, Ella's whimpers grew less and eventually, they quietened to nothing more than little hiccups. As Jay turned onto another street, he heard Hailey humming gently and that made him smile.
He chanced a glance at them when he reached the next set of traffic lights. Somehow, even with her seatbelt on, Hailey had managed to bring her knees up to her chest, as she rested her chin on one knee. He couldn't see much, but he was certain, that mother and daughter were holding hands as Hailey sang to her.
"I don't want to jinx this …" Hailey started, "but I think it's working."
He could hear the pure relief in her voice and Jay was anguished to think they had been feeling this distraught all day.
"Hails," he called softly. He glanced up once more and met her eyes in the mirror. "Why didn't you call?"
"You can't come running home every time she won't stop crying," Hailey answered. The look she received from Jay even though the mirror told her he knew there was more to it. "I should know how to make her feel better, Jay," she whispered. "She's my baby and I'm supposed to know how to make it better… but I didn't. Nothing I did was good enough."
"Hailey -"
"I thought I could do this but what if I was wrong?"
"You're not wrong," Jay said his conviction firm but his voice as gentle as it had ever been. "I know this is hard. It's hard on us both. I don't like seeing her or you upset like this. It breaks my heart, babe, but I … I trust that we will figure it out."
"How can you be so sure?" Her question was a teary mess.
"Because it's you and I," Jay answered with a shrug. He turned down another street and Hailey smiled when she realised they were heading towards the district. "I have never doubted us. And I'm not going to start now so don't you either." He could see her brushing away her tears and he wanted nothing more than to reach back and pull her into his arms, but he couldn't. His fingers flexed on the steering wheel as he took another turn. "Hey," he called and waited for her to look up. "I love you. Always have. Always will."
"I love you too," she said. She reached forward, her hand coming to rest on his shoulder and Jay reached for it, grasping it in his hand as he pressed a kiss to her palm. She sighed feeling some of the tension leave her body. The song had long since finished and it was now perfectly quiet in the cab.
"How is she doing?" Jay asked and Hailey peeked back into the car seat.
"She's asleep…" Hailey replied and a second later she choked out a relieved sob.
Jay grinned and Hailey unbuckled her seatbelt, she knew she wasn't supposed to, but they had come to a stop and she took quick advantage of the moment. She leaned across the cab, pressing a kiss to Jay's cheek.
"Thank you," she whispered so softly, that he barely caught it.
But he did feel the tears against her cheeks and the way her hand on his shoulder tighten. He turned his head, and just as quickly caught her lips with his own. It was a chaste kiss, sweet and reassuring. It was enough to help settle her and soon enough she settled back into her seat beside her now blissfully dozing baby.
Jay didn't drive home immediately. He had not forgotten the exhaustion Hailey carried with her. All her focus, all her energy had been on Ella the entire day and he wished he had known earlier, what a tough day it had been for them both. He doubted Voight would have begrudged him if Jay had chosen to go home early. They were not working a case at the moment so the only thing that Jay would miss out on was paperwork.
He was already making plans to call in the next day when he glanced back to see Hailey asleep too. The car was perfectly quiet, peaceful and perfect.
He turned into their street, ready to pull into their driveway when he noticed a car parked out front. As he got closer, he saw that it was Will. Jay parked the truck and then got out, making sure to close the door quietly behind him.
Will grinned as he approached his little brother. Before he could give a rousing greeting, Jay held a finger up to his lips.
As Will passed the truck, he snuck a look inside and smiled when he saw mother and daughter, out like a light.
"Heard it was a rough day," Will commented quietly.
"Apparently so," Jay said frowning a little. "It's a little late for a visit. Everything alright?"
"Oh yeah," Will was quick to assure his little brother. "They called earlier. When they couldn't stop the crying and thought it might be colic. There was very little I could do for them save for a few home remedies. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to come and check in on them earlier. It was a hectic shift at Med."
Jay was truly appreciative of his brother. "Don't worry about it. I'm glad they at least called you."
Truthfully, he might be feeling just a little bitter over them not calling him. He understood Hailey's reasoning – he really did, but it didn't make it any easier to know his wife and daughter had been so utterly miserable all day and he hadn't been there.
"Hey, I told them it was nothing to worry about," Will said.
"And was that true?"
"Yes, of course! If there was anything wrong, I would have brought them to Med myself. You know this," Will told Jay and he looked a little abashed.
"So, the all-day crying? That's normal? It's just what … a phase?"
Will chuckled a little. "Jay, babies cry. Sometimes that's just it. They cry and eventually they will stop."
"That's reassuring," Jay groused.
"Doesn't look like you need to worry though. They're both out for the count," Will remarked looking into the truck again.
"Not sure if this trick is going to work a second time."
"Of course, it will. Kids love car rides." Will glanced between Jay and the house. "You gonna leave them in the car all night or do you want some help?"
Jay mockingly glared at his brother as they both split up. Will, unbuckled Ella's car seat and Jay reached Hailey on the other side of the car. He was pretty sure she was not going to wake up any time soon, but he was careful not to jostle her too much as he lifted her in his arms. He had handed Will the keys and his brother had already taken Ella inside.
Jay followed after, closing the front door as quietly as he could with his foot.
"Upstairs?" Will asked and Jay nodded. "I've got her," he said indicating to Ella.
Jay carried Hailey upstairs, as Will followed behind. He saw Will going into the nursery as he walked into their bedroom. He placed Hailey in the bed, pulling the covers up securely around her. For the first time since he had come home, she looked peaceful. Jay leaned forward, pressing a kiss to her forehead and he smiled when he heard her sigh. She stirred just a little and Jay quickly shushed her, ensuring she didn't wake up.
"Love you," she mumbled into the pillow.
"I love you too," Jay whispered. "It's going to be alright Hails. We're going to figure it out together."
With that, he left her with one last lingering kiss on her forehead. Jay made his way down the hall to Ella's nursery. Will was still there, simply looking down at his niece.
Ella was tucked in perfectly and all Jay had to do was grab the baby monitor off the table. But before he did that, Jay leaned over the crib, brushing a finger over Ella's cheeks. She too sighed in her sleep and it made his heart soar, knowing mother and daughter were finally able to get some shut-eye.
"I know it's hard to believe it Jay, but there was nothing more you could have done today," Will said gently.
Jay nodded. He didn't like to admit to that, but there was no point in arguing it now.
"Hey," Will said once more and this time Jay looked at him. "I'm proud of you and Hailey. All of this…" he looked around the room, "it's not easy and it's goddamn terrifying, but I think you two … you're doing an amazing job already. My niece is very lucky."
Jay nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat. It was not often they got emotional or sentimental and Jay didn't want to start crying tonight. Enough tears had been shed today.
"Uhm, listen I think there's some pizza if you wanna stay for a bit," Jay offered instead.
"Won't say no to that," Will grinned as he started walking out the room. "You coming?"
"Yeah, I'll be down in a minute," Jay said and Will nodded in understanding. He left the nursery and it was just Jay and Ella.
He sank to his hunches, so he was at eye level with her sleeping form. "I always knew you were going to be a handful, Ella Grace," he teased, his voice quiet enough not to disturb. "You gotta know how much your mama and I love you. And I know there are going to be more tears and tantrums in the future… but baby can you promise you'll go a little easy on us?" he chuckled thinking they might not survive another day like this.
His soft chuckles had her stirring a little and Jay grimaced, not daring to move or even breathe. He internally groaned in defeat when he saw her blink her eyes open. She squirmed and then turned to look straight at him. Deciding to go with his gut, he stayed hunched, keeping his voice nothing above a gentle murmur.
"There is no one in the world that loves you more than mama and I," Jay continued. Ella simply looked at him with wide eyes and her hand reached out to him. He caught it instantly. "I know it's a little different now and in a few months it's going to be a little different again, but no matter what, we're always to be here." He leaned in a little closer, pressing a kiss to her hand and she coughed, her feet kicking up a bit of her blanket. "You're our whole world, baby." He reached for the pacifier and was glad that this time she didn't throw it aside. He rose, leaning over to press a kiss to her forehead. "Try to sleep through tonight. Mama needs the rest," he told her before grabbing the baby monitor.
Before he could leave, Jay spied the iPad on the seat Hailey usually sat in. He quickly searched for it and set it as he wanted, with the volume low enough not to disturb. With The Beach Boys belting it out once more, he turned and left the room. He knew, that when he returned to check in on her, Ella would be fast asleep.
He was tempted to look in on Hailey again but decided against it. They didn't need him hovering. They had everything they needed, so Jay decided all that was left for him to do was join his brother for what was left of the pizza and perhaps a beer.
AN: A very special thank you to girlinlotsoffandoms for all the support and encouragement! You're an absolute gem darling!
I am always on Tumblr if you wanna chat! (at lady-rhaesnow)
The song and title used in this fic comes from The Beach Boys - Darlin
Stay safe friends!