Despite the blankets draped over him and Mello's warm arms wrapped around his waist, Near's body was littered with goosebumps.
Armies of the small lumps besieged every surface of his skin, and he was sure that another increase in his pulse would cause his heart to break out of his constrictive ribcage which suddenly felt more like a prison. One hand busied itself with a lock of platinum hair, coiling the strand and watching it unravel into a temporary curl, whilst the other fidgeted with a loose thread on his shirt. He had tried to convince himself otherwise, but there was no denying it. Near was nervous.
He was thinking about tomorrow, and he was nervous.
He pried himself free from Mello's embrace and slid off the edge of the bed. He glanced back to check that his boyfriend hadn't stirred before his socked feet tiptoed towards the exit. Near still hadn't quite abandoned his childish fear of the dark, so the door had been left ajar to invite the dim hallway lighting into their chamber. At the beginning of their relationship, he hadn't heard the end of it from Mello, and was admittedly a little embarrassed about the habit. But right now, he was grateful for the sliver he could pass through to prevent the groan of rusty hinges that might wake the blonde.
He wandered out into the hall and beneath the archway that led to a large, welcoming space. The kitchen, living room and dining area were all connected by an open floor plan. After much deliberation, Mello and Near had managed to reach a compromise between their opposing ideal colour schemes. Near had his way with the kitchen, which was furnished with light marble countertops and a white-tiled backsplash. Mello incorporated his style through black leather couches and dining chairs, as well as a chic, dark-themed painting gifted to them by their childhood friend, Linda.
Near relished the way the space reflected their relationship. They were two halves of a whole; two hemispheres of the same planet that fit together perfectly once they allowed it. There were obvious differences between them, but Near figured that's why they worked so well. Both liked a challenge, and neither one could be satisfied in a relationship with a carbon copy of themselves. They balanced each other out, and knew exactly how to keep the other sane – granted, they could also drive each other insane sometimes, but what's life without a little bit of conflict?
Near padded across the dark carpet towards the storage unit where a row of picture frames were perched beneath a wide TV. His fingers brushed across each photo. There were the two pictures from the orphanage, the only existing photos of them as kids. Near traced Mello's sharp jawline and around the impossibly blue eyes that glowered at any spectators daring to observe. He wore an expression that was equally as mischievous as it was menacing, and Near's lips twitched upwards with the memories of some of the reckless, dumb things the blonde genius used to do.
He skipped over his own photo in favour of a snapshot of the pair on their first date. Mello held all of Near's firsts when it came to relationships. Near had always assumed that he would forever be single. That wasn't an upsetting notion to him. It was a fact that just was, like the fact that the sky is blue, or that 2 + 2 = 4, or that some birds have wings but can't fly. Near liked facts and logic, and was content with his procured state of equilibrium. But Mello was always one to disrupt the natural order of things.
So, the mechanical, emotionless Near found himself slowly drowning in the foreign ocean of romance. And tomorrow, he was going to show Mello just how far he had plunged.
The hand that had idly swept over the hardwood surface shifted to caress his empty ring finger. The steady rhythm of his heart was interrupted by a jolt, then a pause, then a few more erratic beats that offered no signs of relaxing. Tomorrow would be the first time that Near would take control in their relationship. He had been happy to let Mello guide him through the unfamiliar terrain thus far, which probably, deep down, satisfied his long-standing craving to be better at something than Near – though Near already knew that there was so much Mello could do that he couldn't.
But tomorrow, he would be the one to make a move, and bow before Mello on one knee with the hope of promising him a lifetime.
They had already confessed their love for one another. They had gradually improved in their abilities to discuss their feelings and display their affections. Near was very secure in their connection. Yet for some reason, he had been jittery all day, and it was only elevated by the tick of each minute passing that drew closer to the fateful day. Near was 98% sure that Mello would say yes. But what if he didn't? What would Near do then? There was a time when Mello despised Near… what if he started to revert back to that attitude of bitterness and loathing?
Near couldn't imagine the heartbreak, the shame, the uncertainty; as if everything he had accepted as the truth was really just an empty lie. That was an incredibly alien concept to him, and one he was desperate to avoid.
He trudged over to the small box, nestled beneath layers of food items and bags in one of the lower kitchen cupboards. He knew better than to hide anything up high when his boyfriend was half a foot taller than him. He caressed the soft velvet and checked the room one more time in case Mello had snuck in, before opening the box. The ring instantly captured any fragments of light it could source in the darkness. Near had opted for a less traditional design, with a polished black stone gleaming in the centre. Smaller black crystals were embedded along the length of the band.
He could imagine how effortlessly the ring would complement the black leather often adorning Mello's perfect body. He'd received the stamp of approval from the small crowd he trusted enough to consult. Matt had practically leapt from the couch when he saw it, rambling about how he'd never seen a piece of jewellery so inexplicably Mello. The ex-SPK members all agreed that the ring was gorgeous, and would suit Mello's unique aesthetic. And of course, Near himself adored the design. This little reminder of his meticulous planning was the boost he needed to his confidence.
Near returned the box to its hiding place and shut his eyes. It wouldn't be wise to stay away much longer, lest Mello awakened to an empty bed and investigated his boyfriend's absence. He urged himself to trust that he had no reason to stress any longer. Everything would go smoothly. Tomorrow, he would have a fiancée. His stomach fluttered in response to the thought, and he couldn't discern whether the sensation was nausea or butterflies, or perhaps a combination of the two.
As he shuffled back through the hallway, the word lingered at the forefront of his mind. Fiancée. He wanted to whisper it, shout it even; to know how it tasted on his tongue. But he would have to wait. He slipped beneath the sheets.
Mello grumbled and his eyelids twitched. Near worried for a moment that his movements hadn't been subtle enough to avoid waking him, but instead, the blonde rolled over and curled in upon himself. Light snores arose amongst slow, rhythmic breaths. Near monitored his own breathing, which had momentarily paused, and allowed himself a wide smile at the angelic sight of his boyfriend drifting deeper into his peaceful state of unconsciousness. If Near wasn't certain before, he definitely was now.
This was the man he was going to marry.