A/N: this story popped into mind last night when I was thinking about the upcoming season 16. I own nothing. This is also being typed on my phone so please excuse any autocorrect errors. I think I've caught them all, but just in case.

TW: miscarriage, abortion

Emily and JJ are walking from the local precinct to a nearby cafe.

JJ is bundled up for the harsh winter weather, but Emily keeps shedding layers.

JJ: How are you not freezing?!

Emily: I've been refusing to believe it, but I'm pretty certain this is menopause for me.

JJ: Ah, hot flashes. Makes sense. I don't know if I'm looking forward to that point in my life, or dreading it. (Emily looks at her curiously) I mean on the one hand, Will and I are done having kids. So it will be a relief not having to be so careful. But on the other hand there's the chaos it ensues on your body and also-(JJ pauses and looks a little forlorn)

Emily: Means the boys are growing up, moving on. Don't necessarily need you and Will anymore.

JJ: Exactly. I'm not sure if I'll ever be ready for that.

Emily appears to be off in another world as they enter the cafe. This does not go unnoticed by JJ but she waits until after they order and sit down to address it.

JJ: I know we briefly touched on the subject a few times over the years, but why not kids? Was it timing? Or…?

Emily bites her lip to help hold back her emotions in public.

Emily: I think most of it was timing. But then…I-I've been pregnant before. Twice.

JJ(shocked): what?

Emily: yeah. The first time I was 15. I couldn't let my mom know and I couldn't do it on my own. So I-(she and JJ exchange a look of not needing to finish that sentence). The second time, when I was living in London-Mark and I-we weren't trying or anything. Just happened. We hadn't planned to tell anyone until after the amnio at least. One week there was a heartbeat and little movements and then…(tears begin to gently roll down Emily's face)…then they were gone.

JJ gives her friend a sympathetic look, knowing that pain herself, and gently placed a hand over Emily's.

Emily: Do you remember when you told me you could see it? Me with kids?

JJ: yeah.

Emily: Teens. Early 20's. No way. Wasn't ready for that. And then came Interpol and then Doyle and…I couldn't. I thought about it so much after joining the BAU and it just never seemed like the right time or like with Carrie, I wanted to take her and it just didn't work out. It was comforting what you said to me back then. That you could see that for me. Because up until then, I thought I was fooling myself. And I got little tastes of it. With Keely and Declan. But neither were ever really mine. I'd do anything for them. I mean I DID for one. But-

JJ: Not quite the same without the title "Mom."

Emily: Yeah. I guess life just didn't think it was for me.

JJ: I'm so sorry Emily.

Emily: Me too.