The lights were on when she arrived home, Kate parking in her normal spot along the street and killing her music. She dropped the remains of her morning snack run into the garbage can on her way in, looking up when the neighbors porch light came on and a familiar crack in the front room blinds widened slightly. With an enthusiastic wave to the reverse peeping-tom that was the man next door, she unlocked her own front door and stepped into the safety of overly incensed air.
"Mom?"
"In here!"
Kate dropped her car keys in their familiar place by the door with a clink of metal against ceramic, kicking her shoes off alongside the other's that lined the entryway. The smell of a well prepared meal floated through the dining room, Kate following it to the kitchen to find the source.
"Hi honey, how was your day?"
Her mother, Regan McNeil, sat at the kitchen table flipping through a paperback as she finished the last of her dinner. Her bright eyes turned upward as Kate slumped into the seat across from her with a soft sigh.
"Awful, Mr. Swanson made me work a double. I just closed up."
Thin eyebrows furrowed together, and her mother closed her book with a snap.
"What? But it's Dungeons night, I thought you had that marked on your schedule."
"I do, but there's a basketball game tonight, so my plans don't matter anymore."
Mrs. McNeil stood with a heavy sigh, setting her plate in the sink and turning on the water as she spoke.
"KitKat I wish you'd quit that job, you don't belong here. There's nothing for you in Hawkins-"
"Mom-"
"-you're just wasting your life away, it's not fair that we have to keep supporting you."
Kate looked up from her fingertips stretching across the kitchen table, blinking at the sudden shift in conversation. Something in the tone her mother took felt off, too loud to be normal but unrecognizable over the grumbling of the water streaming down onto the plastic of their surviving kitchenware. Worried that something was wrong, Kate raised her voice over the sound of the faucet in response.
"What?"
Her mother turned off the tap, twisting to face her with nothing more than concern in her expression.
"I said that you're not being fair to yourself. We'd be alright if you took some time just to figure things out. Your brother has been asking about you- you could take Eddie to the city over the break! I'm sure he'd love to get out of here for a bit."
Kate sighed, letting her head fall against the table top as she tried to refocus her attention. She didn't think she was that tired, but the day seemed to have taken more out of her than she thought. Mrs. McNeil returned to her daughter's side, resting a hand on top of her head and stroking thin fingers through Kate's ponytail as she huffed a reply against the scratched tabletop.
"Mom, he's kinda trying to focus on school, he's about to graduate. I don't want to get in the way of that…"
"And you won't! Bless his heart, I know, I just- All you have in this town is each other, which is just fine, and you know I love you kids but- I worry, Hawkins isn't the place for people like you, people who are differ- No, not different…"
"You can just say weird."
A short tap knocked against her skull as her mother moved away again, Kate setting her chin on the table to watch as the woman picked up the quilted bag that sat on the table and tucked it beneath her arm as she continued.
"Forward thinking. You're young, you should be- I don't know, falling in love, having new experiences, finding yourselves! It's just a shame…"
Mrs. McNeil shook her head, seeming to contemplate for a moment before she looked down at the watch hanging off her wrist with a small frown. Kate sat up, recognizing the familiar signs of her mother regretting leaving her home alone and reaching out an arm to wrap around her waist as she struggled to find some way to comfort her. Her mother squeezed her in a short hug, patting her on the back as Kate's head rested against the fabric of her scrubs. Her voice sounded muffled as she spoke into the pastel, bleach scented fabric.
"I'll see if Eddie wants to go to Chicago this week, you're right."
She felt her mother's breath release as she relaxed slightly, leaning down to kiss the top of Kate's head and humming into her hair.
"I love you KitKat, I just want you to be happy."
"I love you too mom."
It was oddly difficult to look at her mother's optimistic smile as she leaned down into Kate's line of sight, guilt beginning to settle heavily into her stomach..
"Things are gonna change for you soon. I can feel it."
Kate could only nod in response, hoping her worn appearance would grant her the privilege of her mother leaving it be for now. She was thankful when a short squeeze to her shoulder signaled her mother's departure, listening to the squeak of sneakers in the hallway as her mother called out before the door shut behind her.
"Bye! Love you!"
"Bye…"
It was still for a long time, Kate listening to the sound of her mother's car roll out of the driveway before it disappeared into the night, leaving behind only the chirping of crickets. With a heavy sigh, Kate stood, wiping the awkwardness of the conversation away with a swipe of her hand across her face before heading into her bedroom. The beaded curtain that separated her open door from the hallway, a compromise from her younger years, was almost soothing as she passed through it, the weight bumping pleasantly against her skin. She ignored the overhead light in favor of the lamp at her bedside, Kate bending to remove her khakis and stopping halfway thought to pick up the scattered laundry from her floor in preparation for Eddie's arrival. Her work shirt joined the rest of her gathered clothing, Kate shoving a foot into the hamper to smush down the growing pile so she could close the lid before returning it to the farthest corner of her room. Catching herself in the mirror as she continued her short side quest of tidying up, Kate swung open her closet door to obscure the image and prepare for her eventual search for her backpack in its depths.
The quiet was beginning to get to her, so Kate changed into an old pair of her brother's athletic shorts and whatever shirt she first pulled out of her dresser before moving into the living room. Her mother's record player was where she expected it to be, still open on top of the bar they'd pressed into the far wall of their living room with a record waiting to be played. She placed the needle into the grooves carefully, the soft click before the music began soothing her with nostalgia as she returned to her idle cleaning while she waited. A joint was retrieved from her bedside table, Kate only slightly annoyed at the lazy rolling as she lit the end and let the rhythm that filled the house float across her shag carpet.
"Well, who am I to keep you down?
It's only right that you should play the way you feel it… "
Kate turned up the volume as she moved into the kitchen, peering into the oven and sniffing slightly at the foil covered pans that sat inside the warmer. Peeling back the aluminum revealed the foods that her mother only took the time to cook when homesickness hit, an array that included fried chicken, battered zucchini and macaroni topped with a thick layer of breadcrumbs. Kate took a small handful of the fried vegetables, her appetite for decadence mildly spoiled by her chance glance in her mirror earlier, and returned to the couch to wait for Eddie.
As the clock ticked closer to ten o'clock, Kate became anxious. Hellfire usually only lasted a couple of hours, and should have been long over by now, even if they'd run over because of whatever hijinks the party pulled. Old Cherry Street was much easier to get to than the trailer park from Hawkins High, so any delay sparked irrational worry that twitched her into action. Kate stood, picking up the half-burnt joint from the ashtray and re-lighting it to ease her nerves as she paced towards the kitchen. The phone was cold as it pressed against her cheek, her weight shifting uneasily while she dialed the familiar number. Each ring sank her heart deeper into her stomach, her hope that Eddie had just gone back to the Munson trailer to pick something up before heading her way dying with every tone before fizzling out completely as she tried again to no success. She paced the kitchen as she gave him more time, her worry shifting further into the realm of upset with each pass of her bare feet over the tiled floor.
Something felt wrong, Eddie didn't just ditch plans with his friends without an explanation, or at least a phone call. Not normally, at least.
Kate shook her head, trying the phone one more time before returning to the living room to peer out the front windows, hoping to see the shape of her friend walking up the driveway. The longer she stayed, the more pathetic she felt, her head falling against the windowsill and ashes coating the floor beneath her. It must have been another hour until she moved again, the empty rolling of the record player pulling her from her spot leaning against the wall beneath the windows to flip the disc before placing it back on the table.
"Listen to the wind blow, watch the sun rise.
Running in the shadows, damn your love, damn your lies… "
"Well, that doesn't exactly improve my mood."
She winced at the scratch of the record as she stopped it again, slipping the vinyl back into its sleeve before moving on for another one. When she found none that suited her, Kate returned to wandering, allowing her anxious steps to take her from the kitchen where she fetched a cider from the fridge into her bedroom to look through the box of mixtapes she kept beneath her bed. Her floor was quickly re-cluttered as she scattered cassettes across the hardwood floor, the plastic covers bumping into the bare skin of her thighs as she tossed them aside. Finally, a red case caught her attention, Kate taking a long sip as she let the smallest amount of warmth spill through the ache of loneliness as she read the inscription they'd scribbled and smeared across the front in black sharpie.
"Eddie & Kate"
And added in tiny letters beneath the signature,
"+1 from Gareth"
Rewinding the tape to its beginning, Kate pressed play before falling back onto her bed with a soft huff.
" Is it on? Oh-"
"Shut up!"
"Shit, sorry."
She found herself laughing along with the ghosts of their younger selves, the slightly higher pitched voice of Eddie Munson filling her with a fluttering of fond memories that pulled her upright again. She'd almost forgotten that these vocal additions to the tracks existed, memoirs of the chaos they caused mixed between melodies. Many of their first mix tapes ended up like this, scattered with hushed conversation or outburst of laughter as they fought to remain quiet enough to not disrupt the recording process. Gareth was the worst offender, never quite remembering to stay quiet until they paused after the song ended and causing them to argue about whether it was worth recording over it or not. Most of the time, they didn't bother, saying that their interruptions made the tapes more unique.
" Woe to you, oh earth and sea, for the Devil sends the beast with wrath because he knows the time is short…"
It had been Eddie's idea to start off their collaborative mix with this track, saying it would be a "really metal" way to start an album and ultimately ruining it with his own impatience by speaking after she'd pressed record. They'd spent an entire day going back and forth choosing songs to add, searching through their combined collection of cassettes and ultimately creating a mess of a mix tape that was undoubtedly theirs alone. Her smile felt bittersweet between her lips as she remembered, letting the tape continue to play as she peered hopefully out her window one last time before she fell completely into the gloom this ending to her day brought upon her. It was pathetic, really, how easily her entire mood crashed at such a simple mistake. Maybe he'd gone back home first, sat down and fallen into a sleep so deep that even the shrill ring of the phone couldn't wake him. One of the Hellfire boys might have asked him to drive them home and held him up talking about the campaign, or maybe the cheerleader had needed something that he didn't carry on him, meaning he'd have to take her back to his place and-
"Fuck."
Kate cursed herself, wiping the tears she hadn't even recognized on the inside of her shirt and downing the rest of her drink with a wrinkle of her nose. Convincing herself that Eddie was coming wasn't going to do her any good, it was just going to make her more upset, but she couldn't help but continue to hope that he would walk in the door any moment with an apologetic smile and an explanation.
"As they start to cry, hands held to the sky in the night, the fires are burning bright.
The ritual has begun, Satan's work is done… "
The boombox barely fit on the bathroom counter as she shoved aside the scattered supplies that cluttered it, not bothering to put them away despite the desperate nagging at the back of her mind to make things presentable just in case. Kate hissed at the cold that washed over her as she stepped into the shower, forcing herself to stand under the stream despite her shivering until it began to steam. She hoped that this shock to her system would snap her out of whatever alcohol and marijuana fueled funk she had found herself in, but her thoughts continued to swirl as she watched the water beneath her feet turn pink as she stepped fully beneath the shower head. Pushing her hair out of her face, she sighed at the scrape of her nails across her scalp as she scrubbed, finding herself humming along to the final chords of the track before she strained to listen for what she knew came next.
Eddie Munson's voice echoed through the speakers, high and light as he muffled his giggles into his hands. What exactly they had been laughing over, she didn't remember, but she had outright fought him to not record over this portion of the tape after realizing that they'd captured this moment, feigning a speech about how it was less contrived in its raw form and promising to never show it to anyone else. She could almost recall what he'd looked like back then if she closed her eyes, his hair grown out down to cover his ears and curling in wild directions as it flopped over the side of her bed as he laughed. The memory was gone with a hollow click, the next song beginning as suddenly as their laughter had disappeared.
"I said girl, you really got me now. You got me so I don't know what I'm doin'
Yeah, you really got me now, you got me so I can't sleep at night… "
She scrubbed herself raw trying to get rid of the sick feeling that clawed at her chest before getting out of the shower, twisting her hair into a bun and roughly drying herself off before putting on the same clothes as before. The boombox followed her as she allowed herself the comfort food, balancing a plate of refreshed midwestern decadence on her arm alongside a cherry Coke as she returned to her room. Another track ended and another began as she ate, legs tucked under her as she flipped through whatever book she'd last left on her bedside table, absorbing nothing of the novel as she scanned, and tried to drown her feelings in grease. She ate her fill and then some, leaning off her bed to place her dish on top of her dresser before she collapsed across it. Her upside down view of her alarm clock stirred nausea in her stomach, a mix of her backwards equilibrium and the knowledge that a new day had begun forcing her upright again before she made herself sick.
Curling up on her pillows, she reached into her bedside table once again, this time finding the cold glass of her pipe and the small box of loose bud that she kept for when she just needed a little bit of something. The heat of her lighter near her skin was almost pleasant as she lit up, taking a hit as she curled into herself and let her eyes wander over the images that covered the wall above her bed. Wishing into the darkness that the sunrise would bring clarity alongside a new day, Kate took a final hit before she attempted to allow sleep to overtake her. Her eyes closed on the twisting fog that passed over a polaroid of a wild haired teen, his grin wide as he leaned against the front of a newly purchased 1971 Chevy, and Kate fell into darkness.
Miles away, the forest stirred as tires squealed in the night, and a pair of headlights turned onto Holland Road.
Please comment if you have any thoughts! :) We're really getting into the canon after this one!
The "Eddie&Kate: The Mixtape" exists on Spotify, if you would like to listen to the full thing.
Songs in this chapter are:
"Dreams" by Fleetwood Mac(1977)
"The Chain" by Fleetwood Mac(1977)
"The Number of The Beast" by Iron Maiden(1982)
"You Really Got Me" by Van Halen(1978)