BARRICK'S HEROES
Author's Note: This fic is inspired by the great military comedy "Hogan's Heroes."
No one took the Terrans seriously until it was too late.
When the newcomers first emerged in the galaxy the Republic had bigger things to worry about than a planet of technologically-stunted humans. The Clone Wars were raging, coffers were running dry, and the Terrans were hardly more than a curious blip on the radar.
No one knew where they came from, or even what their planet was like. They'd simply emerged at the galaxy's edge one day on a hijacked ship, took a look around, had a few holoconfrences, and then went back to wherever they came from.
The Republic dismissed the event as a mere joyride, a mysterious new race peeking into the galaxy before deciding they preferred their previous, isolationist state. They would look into the mystery of course, but it could wait until after the war.
And then, the Terrans came back.
They shot out of Wild Space with guns and ships unlike anything seen before and the Republic could only watch in shock and horror as the Terran fleet fell seamlessly into formation with the Confederacy of Independent Systems.
They brought with them weapons unlike anything the galaxy had seen: hulking destroyers whose projectile weapons tore through Star Destroyers like a knife through warm cheese, slugthrowers that shot a hail of brass. Brutal, unrefined things, that were devastatingly effective. But their equipment wasn't what struck fear into the Republic's heart at the sound of their name. It was the Terrans themselves.
Their tactics had experienced commanders slackjawed in disbelief. Their soldiers bit, scratched, and tore their way to even the most impossible victories. On one occasion a Terran "Marine" armed with only a knife and a brick devastated an entire squadron of clones single-handedly before he climbed onto some sort of flying machine with a rotating blade and disappeared without a trace.
Obi-Wan said it best, when he watched the surveillance holos in the Jedi Temple war room.
"Wonderful," he sighed, stroking his beard. "The Separatists have a planet of Anakins."
...
The Resolute exited hyperspace above the planet Carida, and General Anakin Skywalker couldn't help but sigh when the planet came into view.
"Master, I still don't understand why we're being sent so far away from the front lines," he said.
Over the hologram Obi-Wan Kenobi folded his arms. "Were you listening when I told you what happened on the Tranquility?"
"Of course I was." Technically he'd been thinking of droid repairs, but Anakin wasn't about to admit that. "Tranquility was on its way to Felucia with a load of brand-new walkers to tip the scales in the Republic's favor."
"Or at least they would have if someone hadn't broken into the cargo hold and poured water into every last walker's fuel tank." Admiral Yularen groused, turning away from the bridge crew to speak to the hologram. "General Kenobi."
"Admiral. I trust you can keep Anakin in line."
Anakin cleared his throat in annoyance. "I just don't understand what good we can do here. Tranquility only stopped over Carida to refuel and there's not much here. Just mountains -."
"And a prisoner of war camp holding a group of captured Terrans."
That got Anakin's attention.
"Anakin, what do you know about Terrans?"
"I know they're completely insane."
Obi-Wan smirked. "You're hardly the one to talk."
"It's the truth!" Anakin protested, not sure if he was defending his opinion or his honor. "They stole the ExplorCorps ship that found their planet."
"Yes Anakin, they did."
"And then they flew it back. They didn't even know how to work the hyperdrive but they thought 'eh, what could go wrong?' and did it anyway!"
"Well, what could have gone wrong?"
"A lot, Master. A lot could have gone wrong!"
"Indeed, Which is why these prisoners of war are a valuable commodity. The more we know about Terran culture and the world they came from, the better we can move past them being legends and actually find a way to stop them." Obi-Wan's image moved to the side to display a new hologram, an identification holo of a man who didn't pull off his mustache nearly as well as Yularen. "The camp is run by Colonel Kendal Ozzel."
Yularen snorted.
"— Who the esteemed Admiral seems to know."
"Unfortunately," Yularen sighed. "Am I correct in assuming no intelligence has been gathered from the prisoners?"
"You would be. However, Ozzel also has a spotless record. There have been no escapes from Camp 13."
Yularen blinked. "With all due respect General, but are we sure that's accurate?"
"All prisoners, including the Terrans, are present and accounted for. However I'm aware of what you're getting at Admiral, which is why you and Anakin are being sent to lead the investigation instead of leaving it in Ozzel's hands."
"I understand Master." Now that he knew there were Terrans involved Anakin was excited despite himself. How many Jedi could say they'd actually encountered one of the galaxy's newest warriors and lived to tell the tale? "Admiral Yularen and I will comm when we know something."
...
"Something about this doesn't sit right with me," Yularen confessed as the shuttle circled over Camp 13.
"The fuel tanks or a camp run by an idiot seemingly having no escapes?" Anakin activated the landing sequence.
"No, the fact the Terrans are here to begin with." Yularen closed out his datapad. "Their troops tend to prefer death over surrender, going so far as to perform suicide runs rather than be taken alive. So how did we manage to capture these prisoners?"
"Looks like most of them were shot down. I doubt they had much of a choice. You know what I don't like? The cruiser never docked. How were these people supposed to get to the walkers if they didn't even share the same atmosphere?"
"I have a feeling Ozzel might have something to do with that. He only has this position because of his family connections; the man is mightily incompetent."
"Ah. Well in that case, let's meet the commandant of Camp 13."
The shuttle touched down on the camp's small landing pad and the ramp lowered to the stiff-looking, mustached man Anakin recognized from the hologram, standing with a man wearing a green-and-brown camouflage patterned uniform neither recognized.
"General Skywalker, Admiral Yularen," Colonel Ozzel said with more pomp and circumstance than the situation demanded. "Welcome to Camp 13."
"Ozzel. I wish circumstances were different." Anakin said and Yularen just tightened his jaw. Clearly he was wishing for circumstances under which he could imbibe.
"Yes, yes, I wish the same." Ozzel gestured to the man in the unfamiliar uniform. "Gentlemen, may I introduce our senior prisoner of war officer, Colonel Nathan Barrick of the United Republics of Terra."
"How do you do, sirs?" Barrick asked. He was tall, with brown hair streaked with gray, and an expression halfway between a polite smile and a smirk. "Welcome to the Hotel Palpatine."
Ozzel shot the prisoner a look but didn't comment.
"Colonel," Anakin extended his hand to shake. He was willing to bet that Barrick, like himself, preferred a more casual approach and it couldn't hurt to build rapport. "I must say, I've never met a Terran before."
"Can't say I've met a Jedi either." Barrick shook his hand.
"I hate to cut this introduction short, but we should get on with the investigation," Yularen said. "Ozzel, your office?"
"Of course, my office!" Ozzel led them the short distance from the landing platform to what appeared to be the administration building. "I appreciate your visit, but such an investigation is hardly warranted. We have never had an escape from Camp 13."
"All the same, there's been a sabotage over your planet. We'd like to question all of your prisoners, starting with Lt. Cassandra Beavier."
Ozzel cringed. Clearly that prisoner's name was familiar to him. "As you wish sirs. Schultz!"
A nearby clone sergeant raced over to them and snapped to attention. "Yes sir, commandant!"
"We need to speak with Lieutenant Beavier," Anakin said.
Schultz perked up. "Cassie?"
"Yes, please bring her to the commandant's office."
The guard took off with all speed and Anakin watched as he went.
"He seems awfully excited to retrieve a prisoner."
"He always is, when it's Cassie." Barrick snarked.
Ozzel sighed. "You see sirs, there's been a bit of a problem with the guards and Cassie."
Anakin and Yularen understood the problem as soon as they laid eyes on the Cassie in question. A cartoonist couldn't have drawn her any prettier, with a stubby blonde ponytail and wide green eyes. Factor in the shinies staffing the prison camp who could count the humanoid women they'd seen on one hand, and they had a recipe for disaster.
"State your name, rank, and serial number for the record."
"Cassandra Beavier, Second Lieutenant, United Republics of Terra." The lieutenant rattled off her serial number with the practice of someone who had been in this situation many times before. "And I have no idea what's going on here."
"We're investigating an act of sabotage that happened on a Star Destroyer last night," Yularen explained.
"Well it couldn't have been me; I was in the cooler." Beavier gestured to Ozzel. "Colonel Ozzel can tell you I'm always in the cooler."
"She's always in the cooler," Ozzel parroted and narrowed his eyes at Beavier. "You should know better than to think you can keep contraband in my camp."
"What kind of contraband?" Anakin asked the prisoner.
Ozzel answered instead. "Terran snack cakes. I believe the brand name was 'Twinkies.'"
"The good ones." Beavier embellished. "From Mexico."
Anakin's brow furrowed. "You were sent to solitary for snack cakes?"
Again Ozzel spoke: "The cakes were the latest offense in a string of infractions. Lt. Beavier fails to mention the other occasions she was out of uniform, caught with contraband, found in unauthorized areas, or practiced blatant insubordination."
It would have to be blatant to get through Ozzel's skull, Anakin thought to himself.
"Come on Colonel, you're making Beavier look bad." Colonel Barrick came to his subordinate's defense. "We all know she's not the only one who makes fun of you."
Ozzel turned red. "Barrick!"
"May we return to the task at hand, please?" Yularen asked rather loudly. "Lieutenant, you say you were in solitary confinement all night?"
"Yes sir. I got out this morning after roll call."
That gave her a solid alibi for the sabotage, but where did that leave them? Everyone else was present and accounted for.
Anakin exhaled. "Did you leave solitary at any time?"
"What are you suggesting?" Barrick asked. "That Beavier broke out of solitary, escaped from the camp, did whatever it is you're investigating, then broke back into the camp and locked herself in the cooler? I'm sorry general, but that's crazy even for us Terrans."
The others had to agree. What prisoner would bother to escape only to sneak back in? Not even a race of seemingly suicidal risk takers would do something so pointless.
"Have you heard of the Star Destroyer Tranquility?"
"Can I ask what happened to this ship that has you interrogating my people?" Barrick crossed his arms.
Anakin explained. "Everything on board was rendered useless."
"But no one was hurt?" Barrick asked.
"No casualties." Anakin saw Barrick start to smile and his eyes narrowed. "Do you know something about this?"
"No sir, but as someone those tanks were shooting at I can't help but be happy about them being out of commission."
Yularen chose to focus on the case. "What about your compatriots? Has anyone discussed an escape attempt or sabotage operations?"
"Oh, all the time," Barrick quipped. "We have an entire network of tunnels under this camp where we hang out and plot. Radio room, briefing room, restaurant, full-service barbershop, you name it we got it."
"This is no time for jokes, Barrick." Ozzel glowered.
"Of course not, Ozzel."
Anakin, usually a fan of any kind of distraction, just shook his head. "Lieutenant Beavier. Do you have anything to add to the account of your whereabouts last night?"
"No, sir. I was just in the cooler."
"And Colonel Barrick?"
"I was on Terra in my dreams, sir."
Anakin ignored him. "Thank you Colonel, Lieutenant. Dismissed."
Barrick nodded for Beavier to go and they were out of the office in a blink.
Once they were gone Yularen exhaled. "Well that could have gone worse."
"Sir?" Ozzel spun in his seat in surprise.
"At least we know where to start."
…
"Barrick is the highest ranking Terran we've ever captured," Ozzel explained as they sat reviewing the POWs' files again. "He was shot down over Felucia a few months after the Terrans entered the war."
"What do we know about him?" Anakin studied Barrick's half-smile-half-smirk in the identification holo.
"He's an exemplary commander and his men love him," said the terrible commander whose men despised him. "He appears to be quite the pilot as well. Other than that, nothing. He won't talk about where he came from." Ozzel rolled his eyes. "Moving on, next we have Lt. Beavier of the infamous cooler record. Combat pilot shot down over Ryloth."
"Krayt spit," Anakin whistled, scrolling through the record in question. "She wasn't kidding when she said she was always in. How does she still have her commission?"
"Because Barrick refuses to demote her!" Ozzel fumed. "If it was up to me I'd have her discharged months ago."
"Forget that. What's a female officer doing in an otherwise exclusively male camp? Even though we're not flush on camp space, there has to be somewhere else we could have put her."
"I thought that would come up," Ozzel said. "We told Barrick and Beavier that she can't be transferred because of crowding. Really, Command wants all the Terrans together so they might talk in private."
"Talk that could be overheard."
Ozzel nodded. "I wish they'd talk more. The other two prisoners are enlisted men, slightly less bothersome. First we have Sergeant Jason Zachary, a mechanic."
"He doesn't visit the cooler as often," Anakin remarked.
"He's no saint. I haven't shut down his gambling operation because he'll just set it up again, but if I find out where he gets his rotgut…"
Anakin got the drift. "Anything of note?"
"Besides the boozing and gambling, he seems to go along with the camp schedule. He appears for roll call and mostly for work detail."
"Mostly?"
"Mostly is the best you'll get when dealing with Terrans. Moving on, Corporal Daniel Diaz is the final Terran prisoner. A squadron of clones found him lying beside the wreckage of a carrier on Saleucami."
"Is he compliant?" Yularen asked.
"He isn't constantly in the cooler or hiding a roulette wheel. The worst I can say about him is that he's been caught cooking after lights out."
"Cooking?" Yularen repeated. "Where's he getting the ingredients?"
Ozzel blinked and didn't answer.
"We'll need to interview Zachary and Diaz," Anakin said.
"Of course sirs. I'll have them brought to my office."
"No, take us to their barracks. Let's see how they perform on short notice."
…
"It's the first one on the left." Schultz, the clone sergeant who had brought Beavier to the office, led them to the barracks.
"Sergeant, is this your usual patrol area?" Yularen asked.
"Yes, sir." He nodded. "I'm here every day and night."
"Have you noticed anything out of the ordinary?"
"Nothing. All prisoners have been present for roll call, and there have been no incidents in or around the barracks."
That sounded like an incident in and of itself. Anakin and Yularen braced for disaster when they pushed open the barracks doors.
At first glance it was a typical barracks, with bunks along the walls and a few tables in the center of the room. But the longer Anakin and Yularen looked, the more differences popped out – makeshift posters on the walls, an overflowing ashtray on the table, a kriffing frying pan on top of the stove, and a shoddily-constructed protrusion which walled off one of the corners into a separate room.
Sergeant Jason Zachary stood on a chair in the middle of the mess, holding a hairbrush as a microphone and belting his heart out. "Streetlight people, living just to find emotion. Hiding somewhere in the –."
"Attention!" Ozzel shouted.
"Come on Oz, I was just getting to the chorus." Zachary complained and climbed down from the chair.
"How's he supposed to practice if he keeps getting interrupted?" The young corporal who must be Diaz asked, and ran a comb through his black hair one more time before facing his superiors.
Ozzel ground his teeth. "Your talent show was last night."
"Yeah, so I'm getting ready for the next one."
Anakin was about to address the prisoners when the door to the separate room swung open and Beavier walked out, a cigarette between her fingers. "Anybody got a light? I'm out of matches."
Schultz's arm shot out with a lit cigarette lighter.
Beavier walked past all of them and calmly lit her cigarette.
"Thank you, Schultz," she said, and their eyes met with a smile.
Beavier took a drag as if it was the sweetest fresh air in the universe. Only then did she seem to notice the others. "Hey, we've got company. What's the occasion?"
Anakin did his best to release his frustration into the force. "Sergeant Zachary, Corporal Diaz, we have a few questions for you."
"You should probably talk to Colonel Barrick. He knows everything," Diaz said. "Where is he, anyway?"
"I think he's in the bathroom," Zachary replied. "Colonel, Ozzel's here with the Jedi!"
"We came to speak to you, not the colonel," Anakin said.
"Colonel!" All three chorused.
A toilet flushed in the adjacent room and Barrick moseyed in. "What's the matter, Ozzel? Can't a guy have one moment of peace?"
Yularen closed his eyes as his last hope of executing this mission with any semblance of protocol flew out the window. "Sergeant Zachary, Corporal Diaz, we need to know your whereabouts last night from the evening meal until morning roll call."
"Oh, that's easy," Diaz said. "I was in bed. Your gourmet mess hall gave me food poisoning."
Anakin looked him up and down. "You seem fine now."
"Yeah, because it worked out of my system. For a supposedly modern society, you all are really lacking in the culinary department. What I wouldn't do for a pizza."
"Did anyone else get sick?" Anakin asked.
"Just me."
"Anyone see you in the barracks?"
"Schultz always checks on us at night. Ask him."
"I performed a barracks check at 2100," Schultz reported. "Diaz was present and accounted for in his bunk."
"Where was everyone else?"
Zachary spoke up. "At the talent show."
"Talent show?" Yularen echoed.
"Yes sir," Barrick said. "With it being so monotonous here, we thought we'd spice things up and throw a talent show for the whole camp."
"And Colonel Ozzel allowed it?"
"Well sirs, when Colonel Barrick offered to have his men sing the songs of their people at the talent show I couldn't very well say no." Apparently even he knew that information could be gleaned from the song lyrics. "And they did. It was a camp-wide event. We held it in the mess hall and everyone joined in. The Terrans, the other prisoners, I was even invited to play my violin. We recorded it for posterity."
"We'd like to see the recording. Everyone was there?"
"Everyone except Diaz, Beavier, and a few guards on essential patrols."
"Diaz and I were supposed to be part of the act." Beavier gestured with her cigarette, waving the smoke toward a gagging Ozzel's face in the process. "But then he got sick and I got stuck in solitary."
"Colonel Barrick and I made it work with just the two of us," Zachary said.
"I'll say we did. You can watch the recording sirs, it should answer all your questions." Barrick leaned against one of the bunks. "Maybe then we can all have some peace and quiet."
Ozzel produced a holoprojector and opened the recording. It depicted Barrick and Zachary singing the Terran military anthem, a rousing march which began with "Heroes, heroes, husky men of war."
Anakin and Yularen watched until its completion but only found one point of interest. "Who's Colonel Hogan?"
All of the Terrans snapped to attention.
"A great military hero," Barrick said reverently. "God rest his soul."
"God rest his soul," Zachary repeated and wiped a tear from his eye.
Yularen twitched and Anakin estimated that they had about thirty seconds to get out of there before his admiral exploded. "We'll take a closer look back at the office. Colonel Ozzel?"
…
"So Barrick and Zachary are on holo singing at the time of the sabotage. That rules them out." Anakin paced the hallway in front of the cooler. It was the only place they could think of where Ozzel probably wouldn't bother them. "That leaves Beavier and Diaz."
"Both of whom have alibis." Yularen took over. "Not to mention no way to get to the Tranquility from Camp 13."
"But it has to be one of them." Anakin sighed. "Okay, let's go back to the beginning. The only way for the prisoners to get from here to the Tranquility is by stealing one of the camp shuttles, and their best chance to do it would be during the talent show when the guards were distracted."
"Schultz places Diaz in the barracks at 2100. According to Ozzel, the timing is correct."
"Schultz? Yes he makes his patrols on time," Ozzel had said in his office right before Yularen and Anakin retreated to the cooler. "My only issue with him is that sometimes he sees nothing. How can one see nothing?"
"So we'll take it at face value. The security feeds from Tranquility show two figures wearing clone armor putting water into the fuel tanks at 2115. That's not enough time to leave the barracks, steal a shuttle, dock with a Star Destroyer and get to the hangar." Anakin spat a curse. "Which brings us back to square one. No suspects, no hard evidence, just a talent show, food poisoning, and a cooler record as long as my arm!"
"Maybe that's where we need to look. The cooler is the only place involved in this charade that we haven't investigated." Yularen led the way to the cell and opened the door.
"Looks pretty standard." Anakin examined the room and paused by the garbage can. "Snack cake wrappers. Guess we know who was in here last."
"Yes, though she seems to practically live –." Yularen stopped and sniffed.
"Do you smell something?" Anakin asked.
"No, and that's just it." He said. "Did you see Beavier smoking?"
"As if it was the lifeblood of the universe? Yeah, she clearly has a habit."
"But how does she maintain the habit when she's constantly in the smoke-free cooler? She should have been practically forced to quit at this point."
"She eats those Twinkies in the cooler."
"Unless Terrans have highly doctored snack cakes, they don't contain nicotine."
"Nicotine patches? Gum?"
"Possibly. But more likely …" Yularen made his way to the bunk, flipped up the mattress, and carefully retrieved a concealed pack of cigarettes and a lighter. "She smokes in the cooler."
Anakin snorted in amusement. "It would be pretty easy to get away with it when Ozzel's in charge."
"You can't get away from the laws of physics. She's smoking in an enclosed space and yet, the room doesn't smell like smoke. Where is she getting the ventilation?"
"Back when I was a padawan, some of my friends smoked." Anakin crossed the room to the small, opaque glass pane on the far wall. "It was against the rules of course, so they had to hide it. And they used to get rid of the smoke smell by holding their cigarettes out the window."
He grabbed the window and his jaw dropped when it easily slid to the side.
"I…" He swallowed hard. "I can't believe that just happened."
Yularen just nodded. "I think Lt. Beavier just lost her alibi."
…
"So if she wasn't locked in the cooler…"
"Then she must be one of the figures on the security feed!"
"But who's the other? Diaz?"
"It has to be."
"Okay." Anakin broke away. "So Barrick threw the talent show as a distraction. He knew a display like that would attract all the camp staff and free up his men for the operation. Then he had Diaz fake food poisoning and Beavier get herself in the cooler to establish their alibis."
"Then everyone waits until the talent show. Once everyone was inside, Diaz left the barracks and Beavier broke out of the cooler."
"But if they were trying to distract the guards then why put Beavier in the cooler in the first place?" Anakin asked. "She's more distracting than any of the men."
"Barrick doesn't seem to care for rank so it's not because she's a -." Yularen stopped. "She's a lieutenant. She's a pilot."
"So Beavier flew herself and Diaz onto Tranquility while Barrick and Zachary kept everyone else occupied. Dress in clone armor, fill the fuel tanks with water, get back onto the ship and go back to Camp 13."
"That would involve Schultz lying about what he saw on his patrol. What does he get out of it?" Yularen knit his brow, deep in thought. The prisoners didn't have any money to pay off the clone, nor did they have access to any contraband valuable enough to trade.
But Anakin knew. "You've seen the way he looks at Beavier."
"I've seen the way every guard looks at Beavier."
"Yeah, but she only looks back at Schultz," Anakin replied. "I think they're in love."
"In love? How could —?" Yularen remembered the way the two had smiled at each other and the scoff died in his throat. "By the stars, they are."
They didn't bother debating how this had happened or what it meant for security. Right now, they had to focus on one problem at a time.
"What are we going to do?" Anakin asked. "We don't have any proof."
"No," Yularen admitted. "But the Terrans don't know that. If we can obtain a confession, we'll have more than enough to remove them for sabotage."
"How do you plan to get them to confess? I doubt they're very keen on it."
"They won't confess unless they believe they have no other choice."
"So, we make it seem as if they have no other choice." Anakin caught on. "Let's have one last meeting with our new friends."
…
Barrick put on a production when he arrived in Ozzel's office: "Haven't my men been bothered enough today? They've barely had a chance to sit down between summons."
"Colonel Barrick, please," Ozzel said. "I'm sure General Skywalker and Admiral Yularen have a perfectly good reason for their request."
"And we don't intend to bother you further. As soon as your men show up —."
The door opened and Schultz escorted the prisoners inside. Zachary and Diaz went first, and then he caught the door for Beavier.
"Beavier, Zachary, and Diaz as ordered, General!"
"Thank you Schultz. Everyone, please take a seat."
The prisoners warily filed into the row of chairs in front of Ozzel's desk and Schultz took up his position beside the door.
"All of you have more or less cooperated with our investigation, and for that we thank you. Now if you'll humor us one last time, Admiral Yularen and I would like to know how you all conspired to commit sabotage."
A chorus of protests rose from the prisoners until Barrick quieted them with a "Hey!"
"General Skywalker, I take offense," he protested. "We've been nothing but compliant and I don't appreciate my men and I being accused of sabotage. You saw the holo, we were at the talent show."
"Yes, the talent show," Yularen interrupted. "Rather convenient how it fell at the same time as the break-in."
"We arranged it for a time everyone could make it," Zachary said.
"But not everyone made it, did they?" He leveled his gaze to Diaz and Beavier. "Namely, a combat pilot and a corporal with experience around carriers."
Anakin circled back to them. "You two would be more than capable of flying to Tranquility and pouring water in the fuel tanks."
"That's crazy!" Diaz protested. "If I had half a chance to get out of here, you'd better believe I wouldn't come back."
"Would you if you thought you could do more damage from the inside?" Anakin's eyes narrowed. "Behind enemy lines and almost beyond suspicion? That sounds exactly like something Terrans would do."
"If you weren't accusing us all of sabotage, I would say that was a nice story," Barrick said. "But as it stands, I have to point out the obvious flaw. Diaz was sick in bed and Beavier was in the cooler the entire time you claim they were on that ship!"
"Food poisoning can be faked," Yularen replied.
"The cooler can't."
Anakin went for the kill: "Too bad the window in the cooler slides open!"
Silence for ten full seconds.
"Slides open?" Barrick repeated. "It's not locked? You mean to tell me anyone could have gotten in from the outside?" He spun to face Ozzel. "Anyone could have gotten to Beavier, who I will remind you is the only woman in this camp, while she was in solitary confinement where no one could hear her scream?"
Ozzel floundered. "Well, I –."
"Oh my God! Beavier, did anything happen? Are you alright?"
"I'm fine, sir." Beavier choked up and tears sprung in her eyes.
"Would someone get the girl a tissue?" Barrick demanded. "It's the least you can do after you repeatedly endangered her."
"Yes, yes of course!" Ozzel shoved a box of tissues across the table and Beavier took one.
"Thank you." She loudly blew her nose. "I'm sorry, it's just really hard being the only woman here, especially when all the guards are looking at me, and bothering me, and now I realize that I was a sitting duck in the cooler…"
"Colonel, I expect the window will be fixed before you put anyone back in that cooler," Barrick said.
"Of course! I'll have it caulked –."
"Caulked? That can be ripped out in ten minutes!" Barrick squawked. "You should have it nailed, from the inside!"
Anakin and Yularen stared at each other. By their calculations, it would take Beavier about half an hour to rip out all of said nails.
"Yes, nails. Those will do just fine." Ozzel grabbed a datapad and made a few quick entries. "There, I've just placed the work order."
"The sabotage?" Anakin asked through gritted teeth.
"General, I'm sorry for what happened to your tanks, but if their destruction exposed the danger my people were in, then I believe it's worth it," Barrick said. And then he extended his hand to Anakin. "Thank you for bringing this matter to our attention."
Anakin shook it in a fog and snapped to his senses as soon as he let go.
"And we know Diaz faked his food poisoning."
"I wish I did," Diaz protested. "I was in the barracks all night, ask Schultz."
Schultz snapped into focus when Anakin and Yularen turned their most intimidating glares onto him. "Sirs?"
"What did you see on your patrol last night, Sergeant?" Yularen asked cooly.
"It was a routine barracks check. Diaz was asleep and everyone else was out to the talent show."
"Are you sure you saw Diaz?" Anakin leaned in closer.
"Yes sirs."
"You're not mistaken in any way? Maybe even purposely mistaken, led on by promises of affection?"
Schultz held firm. "No sirs, he was definitely there."
"What are you getting at, General?" Ozzel asked.
He was cut off by the strike of a lighter and Ozzel whipped around to see Beavier lighting up.
"Hope you don't mind," she said around the cigarette. "I really need a smoke."
Ozzel turned red. "Twenty-four hours in the cooler!"
"I haven't even been out for twenty-four hours!"
"Nevermind the cooler's closed," Zachary pointed out.
Ozzel huffed. "Fine. Beavier, confined to barracks for twenty-four hours."
"I'll escort her, Commandant!" Schultz said excitedly.
Anakin desperately tried to get the conversation back on track."This isn't just the walkers, this is an entire sabotage operation. The walkers we caught quickly, but there have been other instances of mechanical failure or information leaks after stops on or above Carida. I wonder how many of those align with your cooler records!"
Barrick snorted. "Why would we do that? You know as well as I do that a POW engaging in espionage or sabotage isn't protected by your Convention of Civilized Systems."
"We could be prosecuted," Diaz said.
"Go to jail," Zachary added.
Beavier blew her nose again.
Barrick crossed his arms. "And where are these accusations coming from? Do you have any proof?"
Nothing except an unlocked window and a smile over a cigarette lighter. "Not yet."
"Then shall we consider this matter closed?" Ozzel asked.
Every fiber of Anakin's and Yularen's beings screamed no! But with no evidence and the Terrans not budging...did they have a choice?
"We shall." Anakin didn't even try to hide his clenched teeth. "Colonel, if you have any further issues please don't hesitate to inform me."
"I doubt there will be any sir, but thank you for the offer."
"Goodbye sirs," Barrick chirped. "Have a safe trip."
Once they were back on the shuttle, Yularen and Anakin sat there for a full standard minute while
Yularen broke the silence: "They definitely put the water in the fuel tanks."
"And force knows how many other fuel tanks." Anakin's hands tightened on the controls. "What are we supposed to do about this?"
"General, I don't think there's anything we can do." Yularen admitted. "What can we do, tell the Jedi Council that we think the Terrans are responsible, yet have no evidence?"
Oh force Anakin hated it, but Yularen was right.
"They're getting off scot free. The only one being punished for anything is Beavier, and she basically got a twenty-four hour pass to sleep with her boyfriend."
"Yes General, that seems to be the long and short of it."
Anakin set the ship to autopilot.
"Excuse me Admiral. I'm going to go to the back and scream into the void."
"Excellent idea. I believe I'll be doing the same in the cockpit."
...
That was too close for comfort. Barrick spent the better part of the day skulking around the camp and eavesdropping on the Jedi and Admiral, and it had been enough to seriously concern him. To think their entire operation almost literally went up in smoke
He made his way through the tunnels, passing the empty briefing room, the restaurant, and the barbershop to find his men clustered around the radio.
"—goes our chance of getting anything done this week," Zachary groused. "We'll be lying low for the next month at least."
"On the upside, that gives us plenty of time to torture Ozzel," Diaz said with forced cheer. "Should we get Schultz in on it too?"
"No one's doing anything," Barrick announced and his subordinates jumped to their feet. "We just barely got rid of that Jedi, we're not torching our progress so you can watch Ozzel squirm. And Beavier? You're going to need this."
He tossed a package to the young lieutenant and she caught it with a raised eyebrow.
"Nicotine gum, sir?"
Barrick nodded. "Because today is the day you quit."
Beavier swallowed hard. "Yes, sir."
"Cheer up, Cassie," Zachary said. "Schultz will like not kissing an ashtray."
"Schultz didn't seem to mind a few hours ago." Beavier opened the pack of gum and forlornly popped a piece into her mouth.
Barrick ignored the exchange. "The cooler is now officially a smoke-free zone. Moving on — Diaz, contact the fleet and tell them about Skywalker and Yularen. Zachary, do some cleaning around Ozzel's office and see what you can see. Beavier, go back to your room and find out if Schultz knows anything."
The three returned a chorus of "Yes sir" and Barrick returned to the small area he had claimed as his office to report the events to the Terran fleet.
Just another day sabotaging the Republic. He smiled to himself. Maybe they would put water in Skywalker's fuel tank next time.