"Josephina made your favorites," Deb said, looking Ava up and down as she grabbed a chair to join her on the terrace. "She will be out in a moment. I told her you probably would be late."
"Because somebody kept me up past my bedtime?" Ava wiggled her eyebrows.
"Shut up," Deb gave her an unamused look. "I told her that L.A. writers don't have to be up before Kelly Ripa's work day ends in New York."
"Actually, I've stuck to your rule. I have had time to do some writing in the mornings before going to the lot."
Deborah choked on her coffee.
"Hey, chill. It's not like I've started getting up at 5:15 every morning and exercising or anything. Turns out I like the solitude," Ava poured herself a cup of coffee as she talked and glanced back up to find Deborah astonished. She felt self-conscious. "What?"
"Solitude? What happened to the girl who told me about her lonely childhood. The one who couldn't stand being awake on the tour bus when everyone else was asleep? You do not handle solitude."
Crossing her legs and making a mental note to circle back to the fact that piercing blue eyes had traveled from the hem of Ava's shorts to her ankle, she cleared her throat for the sake of watching Deborah blush when she realized she had been caught.
"A tour bus is problematic for all kinds of reasons. You're not alone, you have to be totally quiet and there is nowhere to go. And, if you must know, I'm feeling more comfortable within myself which makes being on my own less than an issue," Ava defended herself. Deborah tried to imagine Ava's life in L.A. and couldn't. When she did find herself thinking about it in the first weeks of their separation, she would become sick with worry that Ava might overdose. If a night out with a stranger exposed her system to alcohol, coke, Molly and the trauma of said stranger's death, it wasn't out of the realm of possibilities that a blindsided, hurt Ava might behave recklessly. She was as self-destructive as Deborah was stubborn. DJ promised Deborah that she would tell her if Ava was doing anything dangerous. What Deb thought she could do about it if it were to happen, she had no idea.
Deborah blinked rapidly to prevent herself from getting choked up. Ava looked on with concern, quickly waved off by Deb with one hand while speaking what amounted to anything but a wave off: "I am proud of you is all."
Ava was stunned. Tears pooled in her eyes. "Dammit, why did you have to say something nice?"
This made Deborah laugh. It was a sound that held the power to mend broken hearts. "I will refrain from saying nice things from now on."
Blinking away her tears, Ava went from wiping her cheeks to grinning when Josephina appeared.
"Josephina, my queen!" her eyes grew wide as the house manager placed multiple plates of food on the table. "Did you mistake me for a 350-lb. defensive lineman for the Las Vegas Raiders?"
"You'll eat it," Josephina and Deborah said simultaneously.
Standing from her chair, Ava gave the woman a hug and thanked her profusely for the spread of food.
The dogs began yapping and all eyes turned toward the kitchen.
"Oh, Ava! I thought you would be on your way back," DJ arrived on the terrace, the dogs trailing behind her, looking from Ava to her mom and raising an eyebrow that was an exact replica of the one her mom had raised minutes prior. She approached her mother, bending down to kiss her on the cheek. "Good morning."
"Miss DJ, would you like me to make you something?" Josephina offered.
Looking at the food on the table, DJ gawked at Ava, "you're eating all of this?"
Josephina and Deb smiled.
"Just give me the fruit," DJ said, pulling up another chair while Ava passed over the small bowl of fruit. "I thought you'd have to be back on set or whatever today."
Ava went into the details of her usual schedule and which days required her to be available for punch ups whilst on set and which required her to sit down with her fellow writers to work out the next episode's script. Deborah was content to let them chat, listening while she read her newspapers, though already having heard most of it from Ava before. She was finding a new appreciation for the friendship that had formed between her daughter and Ava. It seemed to be good for them both.
"Are you guys going to start IVF again?" Ava asked after DJ exhausted her work-related questions.
"Probably. Aiden is currently training; he's getting more fights since his last win. And after Mom wore one of my bracelets during the filming of her special, I've had so much business. It's a matter of timing. Not that the clock isn't ticking loudly."
The cause of Ava's smile was easy to chalk up to the idea of a little Aiden, Jr. or Deborah Vance, III, but what she was really thinking about was Deb and DJ. The relationship between the Vance women had changed drastically since the first day she had walked into the house and witnessed their fight over DJ's antibiotics. Not only had that relationship changed for the benefit of both women, DJ's sobriety had been helpful to Ava who was no longer partaking in coke or Molly if offered and had cut down significantly on her alcohol and weed consumption.
"You're going to be a great mom one day, Deej," Ava remarked honestly. DJ's eyes got misty and she attempted to wave off the compliment. It was a mannerism identical to her mother's.
"I'm totally going to fuck the kid up."
"As I've told her, that's what parents do. But you keep trying," Deborah commented, looking over her newspaper at Ava who was noticeably rattled by Deb in those damned reading glasses. "Just don't drop them on their head or take them on a tour bus."
"She's full of wisdom, this one. She will be a great grandma, don't you think?" DJ said sarcastically.
"Actually," Ava's voice softened and the look she was sharing with Deborah held a different emotion. "I do."
DJ looked back and forth between the two, waiting for one of them to say something, but neither did. She pointed a finger at them each and then made a wide circling motion. "I don't know what's going on here, but you two are different. No, I don't want to know."
DJ shook her head emphatically, getting to her feet. The sudden movement broke the spell between her mother and Ava.
"Let me know when you're back in town, girl," DJ told Ava who clumsily got to her feet to hug her friend. Deborah watched, her mind going over how much closer in age they were than she and Ava.
"I'll call you later, Mom." Deb nodded at her daughter as the girl made her way back into the house.
"Umm…she never said what she came over for?" Ava sank back into her seat.
This made Deborah snort.
"Your presence at the breakfast table threw her," Deb pressed her tongue into her cheek.
"I can't say it hasn't thrown me a bit, too."
They stared at one another until Deb finally thought it best to put some space between them.
"Finish your breakfast," she stood. "I have some calls to make."
Ava wasn't sure what had happened, but she knew better than to press Deborah when she was uncomfortable. Instead, she finished her pancakes and the various other things Josephina had laid out for her and cleared she and Deb's dishes herself.
…
"What are you doing in here?" Deborah had been on her way to the staircase when she noticed Ava standing in the sitting room, looking at something. She had placed a hand on the door molding only intending to stop for a moment.
"I was thinking about the day you and I met," Ava turned to look at Deb, hands clasped in front of her.
"The day you lied to me about being a fan and then proceeded to insult my intelligence by saying you had watched my sitcom?" Deb entered the room, leaning her hip against the rolled arm of the couch.
"Do you remember what I said about that couch?" Ava nodded to where Deborah was leaning.
"Something about Liberace's asshole," Deb pursed her lips.
"I'm sure I said butthole; meh, doesn't matter. Kind of ironic that I brought him up, no?" Ava had expected the confusion on Deb's face and continued. "That guy, Thorson, was four decades younger than Liberace."
"If you are about to tell me you want palimony," Deb followed the reference even if she didn't see the irony, "you are out of your mind."
This made Ava snicker. "I wouldn't dream of it."
"I still don't see the irony," Deborah admitted.
She was testing Ava and Ava knew it. Ava did not hesitate to invade her personal space. She noted the hitch in Deborah's breath as she leaned in. Her lips tickled the shell of the woman's ear. Whispering, "they were totally boning."
The fact that Deborah could be turned on and still cringe at the word was a contradiction she refrained from unpacking.
"Again, irony?" she exhaled shakily.
Ava leaned back to get a glimpse of Deborah; she noticed the slight flush climbing her neck. Her point had landed. Smiling in triumph, she started for the door before being caught by Deb's firm grip on her wrist. Fingernails dug into her skin. The slight pain ignited an old familiar spark. Her breathing changed, but she tried for nonchalance.
"I'm going to go pack my things," Ava said as evenly as possible. "Unless you need me for something else?"
The deliberation dancing across Deborah's face was the reason for Ava's stalling. When Deb broke eye contact and released Ava's wrist, it was clear she had talked herself out of something consequential. This was the Deborah that Ava knew well—the opposite of the woman who the night before had kissed her without concern for consequences. She walked away without another word, only looking back once she reached the stairs. Deborah hadn't moved, seemingly lost in thought.
…
Ava had located a few items of hers that were still in the drawers and closet of the guest bedroom. Her open suitcase was now packed. As she zipped it closed, a presence was felt in the doorway. She turned to find Deb leaning against the doorjamb, arms crossed. Ava's head shook, subtle but there, as she contemplated how good the woman looked.
"You found everything Josephina tucked away of yours?" Deborah's voice was thick with emotion, a cue to Ava who looked for and found remnants of tears at the corners of her steely blue eyes.
"Deb…" she sucked in air at the thought of Deborah once again in pain.
Holding up a hand, Deb warned, "don't worry about me."
Stepping toward her, Ava shook her head emphatically. "But I do. I think about you constantly and of course I worry. I will always worry."
Uncrossing her arms, Deborah appeared less intimidating. Ava took the opportunity—hauling the woman to her arms. The tension in Deb's body fell away as she allowed Ava to hold her. Deborah Vance had never been good at being held. Yet there was something about this girl that made her behave differently.
She said nothing, burying her face against Ava's neck, ginger hair creating a curtain around her face that was fragrant and comforting. Without concern for the consequences, she placed a kiss to the skin just below the girl's ear. Ava's arms tightened involuntarily. Her breathing hitched noticeably. Deborah continued placing tender kisses on both neck and jaw. When the younger woman's head tilted to grant better access, the kisses became open-mouthed.
"Deb…" Ava whimpered.
This got Deborah's attention, she hummed against Ava's jaw, causing a pleasant vibration. Ava caught Deb's lips. When Deborah had so suddenly kissed her upon arriving at the house the night before, Ava had definitely kissed back, but she hadn't allowed herself to get lost in the kiss. It was too shocking. This time she allowed desire to lead her. The next thing she knew, she had Deb pressed against the wall beside the open door. Her hands made an utter mess of blonde hair. Thank God she wasn't yet in a wig or Deb would have had Ava's head. Hands traveled down to grasp hips that were plenty eager to meet Ava's pelvis.
"Fuck," Deborah hissed as Ava's thigh pressed where Deborah was already throbbing. When a knee parted her legs, Deborah barely recognized the sensation of wetness dampening her underwear. It had been years since her body had reacted so quickly.
"I—" Ava pulled back, afraid she had gone too far, but it immediately became clear Deb was thinking otherwise. A hand came up to her collarbone, pushing her backward toward the bed. "Holy shit."
In her very active imagination, she had never fathomed this particular scenario. Her fantasies would never have involved packing a suitcase. She watched as Deb closed the door. When the lock turned, she swallowed hard. God, this better not be a bit, she thought. Commit to it anyway, Ava.
"No matter what happens in the next five minutes, you are still getting on that plane today," Deb stepped closer and closer, walking Ava back until her knees were touching the bed.
"D—" she tried, but was warned by a piercing look and was cut off by Deb's fingers touching her bottom lip.
"No, do not argue with me. We decided we are done arguing," Deborah's other hand found Ava's hip and traced the curve from hip to waist. "You're getting on that plane and going back to L.A. because you don't quit, Ava. You quit a job early for me once already. You won't do that again."
"But Deb—"
The woman's entire body was now forming to Ava's, everything from their knees to their breasts touched. She traced Ava's bottom lip, smiling softly, "we are by no means done talking about this. Right now, I want to fuck you."
"Jesus," Ava exhaled harshly.
"Is this acceptable?" Deborah didn't have to wait long for the answer—a nod and Ava was sucking the woman's fingers into her warm mouth.
Deborah had no objections to what she had once compared to chicken cutlets. None at all.
…
"Where is Deb?" Marcus walked into the kitchen to find Josephina and Damien chatting over coffee.
"She is upstairs with Ava."
Looking at Damien with concern, the personal assistant waved Marcus off.
"Miss Deborah was in tears this morning," Josephina said quietly. She was always the one with the most knowledge amongst them. She was also the least likely to freak out about something like a few tears.
"What did Ava do?" Marcus, on the other hand, was ready to strangle Ava with his bare hands without knowing any of the details.
"She gave Deborah space, I think." Josephina shrugged and left them to discuss it further.
"Am I missing something?" Marcus asked Damien.
"No," Damien answered robotically. "Maybe."
"Right, well that clears everything up."
Damien walked away leaving Marcus standing in the kitchen wondering about his boss and the disaster of a human she kept allowing back into her life.
…
Deborah was sitting on the edge of the bed buttoning her blouse. Still on her back, Ava stared at the ceiling in disbelief as she slowly caught her breath.
"You probably should fix your hair before you go back downstairs," she smirked, turning to look at the blonde.
"And you should probably put on clothes before you do," Deb's words were as much of a tease as the glance that followed.
"Ha. Ha." Ava was in boy shorts and nothing else. Sitting up, she moved toward Deborah, wrapping her arms around her from behind. Nuzzling her neck, she whispered: "You are going to need to reapply lipstick as well. It's a whole sitch."
Leaning back against the young woman's arms, she was trying to pick apart what exactly she was feeling. Not only was she physically satisfied for the first time in awhile, she wasn't sad or ashamed.
"I can't imagine why that would be," she hummed.
"Mmhmm," Ava kissed the woman's neck and then moved away to keep her body from losing control or her mouth from pleading with Deborah to allow her to stay.
"I'll be in my office. Marcus and Damien are here," she said by way of a warning.
"Please don't ask Marcus to take me to the airport," Ava's heart stung at the very thought.
"I had planned on taking you myself."
When Deborah stood, she looked as though she was capturing a mental image. Ava refused to cross her arms over her breasts or hide the fact that her underwear had a wet spot.
"I'll be down soon," Ava grinned at the woman who was clearly checking her out and enjoying it immensely. With an eyebrow raised, silently waiting for whatever was to come, Deb instead shook her head and left the room.
"Fuck me," Ava fell back onto the bed.
Who knew buying a plane ticket could transpire into this?
…
They were in the Rolls with Deborah once again at the wheel. Ava hadn't spoken a word since they had buckled up and set off for the airport. She didn't know what to anticipate. Promising she would return to L.A. had been painful in the moment, but the present pain was amplified by her knowledge of what it felt like and sounded like to satisfy Deborah.
"Why are you renting when you have a townhouse?" Deb asked out of seemingly nowhere.
"What?" Ava turned toward her.
"Is your townhouse unlivable?" she was more specific though no less random.
"No, there was a plumbing disaster. I had to live somewhere in the meantime. It's fixed now, but I am subletting since I already had this rental."
"Can you afford it?" she enquired.
"Can I…?" Ava was hoping to catch up in the conversation quickly because she felt totally lost. "Why are you asking?"
Deborah's hands tightened on the steering wheel. Looking at those very hands that not an hour ago had been roaming her body, Ava felt the heat returning. She reached out and pried one hand from the steering wheel and held it against the console in her own—fingers laced together.
"Tell me what you are thinking," Ava asked of Deb.
"My house in L.A. is sitting empty," Deborah ran her thumb over the back of Ava's hand. "If you decide it isn't financially sustainable to rent while also paying a mortgage, you are welcome to stay at the house. I know it's not your style and you would have to blow dry your hair in the garage, but it's cheap."
Ava was trying desperately to suppress a smile.
"What is that look?" Deborah raised an eyebrow.
"You care about me," Ava grinned.
"Of course I care about you. I am not in the habit of going to bed with people I don't care about."
"Except in Memphis…"
"Don't go there," Deb shut her up with a withering glare.
"Yes, ma'am." Ava saluted awkwardly.
Shaking her head, Deborah chose not to say anything else. Instead, she continued to hold the writer's hand as her heart climbed higher in her throat as they got closer to the airport.
LAS sprawled before them. Deb made her way to departures and fully expected Ava to say she was on Spirit Airlines, but she didn't. She had teased the girl relentlessly about her airline choices. Pulling to the drop off point, Deborah noticed how quiet the woman beside her had become.
"Ava…" she sighed.
"I know. I promised. It's hard," Ava's voice was raspy with emotion.
Putting the car in park, Deborah turned toward Ava and used a knuckle to lift her chin. "Look at me," she demanded. "I wouldn't have come to you this morning if I had no intention of seeing you again. When I asked you to promise me that you would get on the plane, it was because I knew how hard this would be…for us both. There is a lot we have to talk about. But for now, you have work to go back for."
"D—" Ava was cut off by soft lips pressing against her own. She melted into the kiss, a tear falling onto her cheek that she knew fell from Deb's eye.
"Let me know when you land?" Deborah was choked up. Ava could only nod. "And think about what I said about the house."
Ava lifted their linked hands to her mouth and kissed the back of Deborah's before releasing it.
She stepped out of the car and grabbed her bag in the backseat. Bending down to look at Deb one last time, she offered the woman a sad smile and a nod.
"I know you aren't comfortable with it, but I love you, D."
"Goodbye, Ava," Deb clenched her teeth as soon as the words were out of her mouth. It would be easy to say she had changed her mind. The girl closed the door and made for the entrance, turning back to give finger guns to the comedian who could only roll her eyes at the ridiculous behavior.
The drive home was horrid.
To be continued…