I do own Dude That's my Ghost the creators are Jan Van Rijsseberge , produced by Alaphanim and directed by Frédéric Martin. I wrote this because we never got an answer as to how Billy died. Plus, he seemed pretty intelligent and talented and I was just wondering how he died. So, this is him kind or thinking and looking back on his life as a person at night time when everyone else is asleep. Kinda like a midnight existential Crisis. Enjoy it or don't I really wish I cared its just a one off.
Midnight Crisis
Wish I could have told you how I died. Something like that it'd be simple to look up considering I was famous. You never did though, or if you did you never brought it up. I lied when I told you I didn't remember how I died. Of course, I do its so simple but there's a lot of things I wish I could tell you. But, the way you are right now now and the way you see me would change. I can pretend to be confident its just a facade its as fake as when I told you we've never met before despite being cousins. But, I don't blame you for not remembering you were so small at the time. Just, a tiny newborn baby its a shame we never met again,but I guess you could have asked your parents but you didn't.
"Dad, Mom, What are we doing here?" I asked inquisitively. My right arm rubbing lightly on the my left shoulder in a calming manner. The florescent lights the smell of chemicals there's nowhere else we could be,but the hospital. Each hallway looking exactly the same and just seeing so many long faces as our steps echoed through them. I hated hospitals they made me feel, so depressed. My mom was the fist to speak up, "were here to meet your new baby cousin". She seemed so happy it was just a stupid baby besides being here to gawk at this baby there's really nothing to do here. Of course, I had to whine a little I mean I am famous my time is valuable, "Why? Its just a baby". It was a weird feeling to have her look somewhat pensive, "Its because life is precious and new life is an especially beautiful thing". I knew you'd say that though all adults do when it comes to Babies. All I could do is just sigh, give up, and try to relax while I'm here. Eventually, the nurse leading us stops and tells us we've reached the room. The first thing I see once the door opens is people huddled around my aunt Bernice covering up the baby from view. I didn't really care so I plopped down in a random chair and crossed my arms just waiting for this to be over with. I always had a lot on my plate always working I liked to stay busy I hated being given time to think. I could hear the adults voices bouncing off the wall echoing all of a sudden I hear a slightly exhausted Bernice, "Billy do want to hold the baby," Yucky my face slightly scrunched up thinking about the drool and their sticky fingers, but I wasn't gonna say no not in this room of adults especially ones I'm related too. "fine," I may have sounded a little forced but I wanted this to be over already. My mom took the baby from my aunt and slowly walked over to me cradling and supporting the baby. She told me how to be careful and that I needed to support the head and neck of the baby and hold it in a cradle like hold. I finally had the baby but its eyes were closed, "is the baby sleeping?", I had to ask I didn't wanna wake the thing up and have it start crying. My mom chuckled a little, "No the babies not sleeping sometimes it just takes them a little time to open there eyes after there born". I guess she was right I did feel the baby wriggling lightly in the swaddle. Boy this was a weird baby it already had hair. I was inspecting this baby when I realized something it was looking at me. The baby hadn't even opened its eyes yet I just hopped the thing wouldn't start crying, but it surprised me it started cooing instead. My mom seemed surprised, "I bet the baby likes you," she was smiling. I never really realized that a baby could like someone I suppose the baby wasn't so boring after all. I glanced at the analog clock and it seemed like it was almost time my manger would here soon. "Congratulations on the baby, but I gotta go meet my manger Spencer at the door its time to begin my next project". It was kinda weird have to let go of the baby though I was kinda surprised that I'd get to leave this place happy.
I still remember that day its a nice feeling I don't usually have good moments there. Considering I've been there so many times. I mean I almost died from the disease that mosquito gave me, to the time during my concert when my amp electrocuted me and my heart stopped, and even when my tour bus got shot-up during a drive by shooting. I've been there a lot I suppose maybe that's why my mom was pensive and said that life was precious not to be stereotypical, but because she almost lost her own son in so many different ways. I guess I never thought about how much it hurt her until I was dead. I didn't die before my parents though. I still remember that day maybe if I thought about how much it hurt them I wouldn't have done it.
My head is aching all I can do is stare at this stupid piece of blank paper, while Get Out of My Face is playing in the background. I put my head on my desk and shield my face from the light. Trying to come up with new songs is a pain. Let alone trying to review new ones before there officially released in my managers office while there off somewhere else doing manger stuff. I heard a knock on the door I just assumed it was my manager maybe they were scared of interrupting me during this creative process. It was my manger, but it wasn't just them. "Spencer whats up?", I was curious as to why he had police officers with him I didn't think I did anything illegal today. He looked so small and hunched over it had me starting to feel anxious. "I'll let them tell you I'm gonna step out for a moment", then he excused himself and started to leave. I don't why but them moment he left I started feeling dread, my headache was in full force, and my palms were sweating. "Sorry officers come on in", I creaked the door open and went inside turning off the music blaring in the background. I offered them a seat across from me. In my nervousness I didn't really know what to say, "If this is about the drive by I already told the police everything I know when I was still in the hospital". The police officer held up their hand, " No this isn't about that incident this is about an accident that happened involving your parents". My head was spinning now, "My parents?", I managed to squeak it out even my stomaching is starting to turn. "Yes, a car accident the breaks in the car weren't wired correctly, and your parents lost control on the road and flipped their car. Unfortunately, by the time the ambulance arrived they were already dead upon arrival I'm Sorry".
I don't really remember much after that I must have been in a daze at the time. It really broke me and I didn't know how to cope with it, so I did what a lot of people do I turned to drugs and Alcohol to cover up the pain. Being a Super famous pop star it wasn't hard to come across them people basically threw them at you. Avoiding my feelings, so I didn't have to confront them. When you don't acknowledge them they'll eat you alive in order to truly live you have to come to terms with your feelings I already kept myself busy but if I couldn't drown my feelings in work then booze would have to do it for me I guess that's when I started pushing people away and became a narcissistic person when people started calling me a diva and hard to work with. It's a shame that I took that path though if I'm a ghost I can only imagine how badly I hurt my parents. Of course, unlike me they were able to pass on. I'm also sorry for what I did madameX in all that craziness I hurt her too.
People all around me everywhere the blaring music pulsating through my entire body. I didn't even really know where I was all I want right now is a blind euphoria to only feel good and nothing else. Ecstasy, heroin, and alcohol. I took whatever I get my hands on except this feeling its a weird one someones holding my hand? There trying to talk to me but I cant hear them and with all the flashing lights I couldn't see her either, but I could tell that it was a girl at least. I just follow her because I don't want to think I'm just going with the flow. She slides through the sea of people taking me with her and she leads me outside? No lights, no music, and most importantly no drugs. Illuminated by the streetlights I finally know who it is that purple hair the gap in the teeth. I'm trying to focus on her face but its not easy. Shes crying I don't get it, "Why are you crying? You're in the presence of the world famous pop star Billy Joe Cobra I'm like the best of the best", I don't really think about what I'm saying I just want my girlfriend to stop crying. I can tell her fists are balled up in anger and shes trying to contain it, but I can see it in her eyes. "What are you doing? I thought you said that you'd stop doing drugs", she starts screaming. I knew that she'd say this again, "Look bro I'm tired of this I think we should see other people you're too controlling and you're always picking on me. What I choose to do with my amazing body is my choice". I just didn't wanna see her cry anymore and I'm not going to stop anytime soon I can't I'm too scared to stop to scared to face these feelings anymore I'm desperate to feel better no matter what it takes. Shes still shaking, but this time I turn around and leave before anything else happens. I head back to the building of sanctuary.
Man I was a Jerk to the only girl at the time who actually cared about what happened to me. Every other girl I dated during that time didn't stop me from doing whatever I wanted and when I was done with them I'd just leave and go to the next one. I suppose she became madameX after I Killed myself. She was probably feeling guilty about everything and that she couldn't accept me or save me. Maybe that's why she carries on this dumb obsession with trying to catch me and keep me with her collectibles. I regret it now of course being a ghost is painful. I'll never be able to do What I loved ever again no more music. Sure I pretend to eat peanut butter and drink smoothies with my cousin Spencer, but I can't actually taste them anymore it just reminds me of being alive. Even if I can touch I can't actually feel anymore luckily I'm old enough that I can fake it when I need too. If I knew I'd be in hell like this for the rest of eternity I wouldn't have killed myself.
Today's the day I've been planning this for a long time. I've already written my note I don't know if anyone will actually find it though, maybe my manager? I'm tired and I want to feel better I'm desperate I just can't be sad anymore. I just wanna be comfortable in my own bed and to go peacefully. I have more pills then I can count and I'll take them one by one like I'm supposed to so I don't puke them back up.
I'd actually forgotten about that letter till now actually I don't know if anyone ever saw it, but when I woke up as a ghost it was gone. Maybe that's why nobody I see seems to know how I died unless whoever found it kept it a secret from the press. I was alone in this house for a long time and forced to think about all the things I was trying to run away from it was torture until the Wrights moved in. I'm kinda of thankful for it in sense Maybe I wanted to be left alone, but now at least I can watch over Spencer and Jessica if anything ever happened I could be there for them. Bernice and Hugh I'm not saying that they didn't reach out to me, but I never accepted there help and kept running from them. I was trying to escape the pain of having to remember. Luckily being a ghost has some perks in that fences and buildings can't keep me out. But, if I can help it I don't want them to know how I died. I don't really want them to think that I'm suffering. I just want us to keep having fun like this and maybe to use my expertise to help him out when he's finally a director. I just wish he wasn't a horror director though can't say my many near death experiences didn't leave me with some PTSD. Its especially bad when you know how it feels to be stabbed and feel like your going die its an awful experience. But, I know how much it means to him because I know how much my music meant to me. So, I'm trying to deal with its not like a ghost can get therapy at least no 'real' therapy.
Its time for everybody to start waking up for the morning...