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The world was in slow motion. He was used to this, but from up here…

"You are sensing time about five times faster than reality. Nervous?" The synthetic voice came from within his suit's radio system.

"A little, you know theoretically the way he does this is comic book bull shit. This… probably won't work?" He looks over the edge of the Space Needle, looking down over the Emerald City.

"Says the man who is currently vibrating at a speed equivalent to mach 1." S.A.I.L said as Parker stepped back at the speed of sound. He got down into a running stance.

"I suppose you're right."

He leapt off the building, the air electrifying around him as he dove down towards the Seattle streets.

"Moment of truth!" He pressed his middle finger and ring finger into his palm using his index and pinkie to aim the webbing. Electricity crackled as the web shot out, not in slow motion but at the same speed relative to him. The webbing stuck to the corner of the building, and held under his weight and speed.

"YES!"

The young man pulls himself up as his feet make contact with the ground causing a surge of blue lightning at his feet allowing to skate along the street before exploding upward into the air, repeating the process.

"I'M WEBSWINGING! I'M SPIDER-MAN, I'M THE GOD DAMNED SPIDER-MAN!" Parker shouts as he swung at a ridiculous speed.

"I believe The Flash would also be an apt comparison, Shall I begin writing your episode intro?"

With a record scratch the A.I began replicating the voice of the TV super hero.

"For me to tell you my story I'm gonna need you to believe in the impossible…" Earning a chuckle from the teenage boy.

"Hey how about an Impression of Cisco and hit me with the police scans." he said as he skids to a stop along the rooftops. Returning to her normal voice S.A.I.L snarks.
"There's a series of 10-10s with two reports of shots fired around 24th street." And Spider-Man took off.

"I'm sick of you fuckin pigs!" The gunman shouted from the jewelry store, before whirling from behind cover. He began unloading his automatic gun at the officers. The bullets slowed to a near standstill.

"Woah holy crap, S.A.I.L take a video of the bullets." Spider-Man asked before moving quickly. He webs the bullets to a nearby ruin, before pushing a few of the robbers off balance enough to web them to the walls. As the webs contacted them, he could hear them cry out.

"Are they accelerating when the webs touch them?"

"It seems your kinetic energy field-"

"The Speed Force."

"I will not indulge in super hero shenaniganry while we're on the clock."

"I'm so glad I added Shenaniganry to your vocabulary." Spider-Man said as he webbed the last guy to the wall and returned to normal speed.

The thugs groaned as the police stopped shooting, the clicking of reloading could be heard. One of the thugs seemed to work out who was standing in front of them and what was holding him.

"Did we just get fucked up by Spider-Man?" To which the titular hero turned to him.
"That's the Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man, make sure the reporters include the hyphen!" Spider-Man calls as he turns and sees the police enter the scene.

"Hands up! Dispatch we got the thugs and… Spider-Man? Fuckin civies, hands up!" The cop pulled his taser on the young hero.

"Civie? You can see the webs right?" Spider-Man points at the thugs with his hands up. The cops do look confused by the presence of the substance.

"So I'm gonna skadidly daddle,"

"You're not going anywhere Spider-Man! This ain't some comic book, kid you interfered with an ongoing police shootout, asaulted these criminals, and all of that adds up to the crime of vigilante justice. Show's over Peter, take off the mask and come quietly." The cop begins to approach Spider-Man reaching for cuffs.

"You're right this isn't a comic book!" Parker speeds around the cop, cuffing him leaving a vial of web solvent and its recipe in his left hand, and the cuff keys in the cop's right. "So it's not Peter, and I also don't care. See ya soon buddy!" He then sped off, zipping up into the air and disappearing from the crime scenes.

The cop unlocks his cuffs and looks at the vial. Another walks up.

"Officer Jakobson? You alright?" A young investigator came up to him putting a shoulder on the older man's shoulder.

"Just call me Gordon, Denton it's not like I call you 'Investigator Harley'." The officer shook his head. "I'm gettin' too old for this shit. These past few years have been nuts, but now actual super heroes?" He handed the web solvent off to an EMT before stepping out from the shattered windows of the jewelry store with the police investigator.

"Well hey, atleast it's super heroes! God knows what we'd do against Bane or Sandman." Gordon snorted as he lit a cigarette. "I wouldn't mind meeting Two-Face, Always liked Tommy Lee Jones." The two officers laughed briefly before returning to their jobs.

Parker groaned as his alarm blared, he had just started falling asleep. You hit the alarm before stepping out to get ready for school. After getting dressed, grabbing his phone, and drinking a ton of coffee, he stepped out to see the bus driving paast his house.

"God, fucking damn it." He began taking off after the bus, running at normal speed. He shouts after the bus, and the kids on the inside laugh as he ran. He had to run all the way to the next bus stop but managed to get on to the bus none the less.

"Hey Parker! You see that footage of that Spider-man guy in Seattle? It's like he was an actual superhero! You think it was some like ARG shit? What the hell happened to you?" His friend Oswald 'Ozzy' Harroldson rambled on as Parker slammed into his seat and promptly fell asleep.