Amanda has fallen in love with Olivia and is scared to tell her. This pretty current season wise, but I changed relationships to form the Rolivia. This is a one and done.

Disclaimer: I do not own the show Law and Order SVU or characters, all rights go to Dick Wolf.

Chapter 1

Amanda walked in late and jammed some papers in her desk drawer. She didn't speak to Fin or Kat which was strange. Amanda had been acting strange lately. Olivia looked over her glasses and then at her watch.

Over the years they had gotten close. They each went through their own personal struggles. Lately Elliot Stabler returned and made Olivia think about what if, but he was still mourning his wife Kathy.

Amanda was going through a lot as well. Her father was sick and she not only had her two girls, but she was also semi responsible for her nephew Mason, since Kim was locked up. It proved a little too much for her and Carisi. They decided to split. She cried on Olivia's shoulder for hours and spent the night. That was it, the night Amanda fell in love with Olivia. She was actually was always in love with her, but it became unbearable to hide it. It was her little secret.

Going to work to face her every day became a struggle. She made up excuses of having to run to Atlanta and help her mother, but the truth was she called her nanny to handle the girls and went to a hotel to be alone. She wasn't drinking or gambling to hide her pain. At least that was an improvement. "Rollins!"

There it was that name, voice, and tone she dreaded. She was in trouble. She walked into Olivia's office, "Yes Captain?"

Olivia narrowed her eyes, but she deserved it. She took the wrong tone with her, "Amanda, come in and close the door." Olivia stood up and met her at the couch. She motioned for her to sit, "How are you doing? Your dad, things in Atlanta improving?" Amanda looked down and answered yes. Looking her in the eye was too much.

Olivia needed to tread lightly, she knew something was wrong from her behavior but she couldn't accuse her. "Amanda, we're friends. I'm not just your boss. I hope time has proven that. You'd tell me if something was wrong, right? If you couldn't handle all of it?"

Amanda gathered herself and looked up. That was a mistake. She looked right into her chocolate brown eyes, "Yeah, of course. I'm fine. I'll just be glad when everything settles down."

Olivia didn't believe her, but her phone rang, "Benson!" She looked at Amanda and it pissed her off being lied to. Olivia wrote everything down and handed Amanda the paper, "Take Kat." Amanda grabbed the information and brushed Olivia's skin. This is what she couldn't do anymore. Amanda felt shivers all over her body anytime Olivia touched her. Oh and a hug was even worse. When they got the news about her father's stroke Olivia hugged Amanda. It was a beautiful moment, but when Olivia let go, she was lost.

Amanda often looked to see if Olivia felt the same, but she saw the same look she always did, nothing. "On it Captain." Olivia watched Amanda leave and shook her head. Amanda flip flopped and Olivia had difficulty reading her. Sometimes she was Liv and other times she was Captain. Olivia sighed, she couldn't complain she did the same thing rotating Amanda with Rollins when she was frustrated with her.

Olivia sat down talking to herself, "Amanda, what are you up to? Jesus don't let it be gambling again. You've worked so hard." Amanda had worked and cleaned up her image. She had gotten several promotions and Olivia had Sergeant in her near future. "Hold it together for me." She heard her tell Fin they were leaving.

Fin was working on the last bit of paperwork from the last huge case for Carisi. He should have been coming by any minute. That was the main reason Olivia sent Amanda out with Kat. She went about her work. Olivia looked over her glasses hearing the young man's voice.

Dominick Carisi was older and more mature now. He was a great lawyer and he still fought through the politics for his old team. "Fin, you got my paperwork?" Fin nodded with a right here counselor. He grabbed it. "Hey Liv! Can't stop, I have court." Olivia waved at him and continued reading. "Geez Fin, not even one staple for me."

Fin laughed at him, "Sorry, you know the big boss has lots of budget cuts." He said it loud enough for Olivia to hear him. They both laughed at her. Carisi smiled, he missed them a lot. "Here, Amanda has one in her drawer." Fin walked around. "I heard you're dating Nicole Harper."

Olivia was eavesdropping. She had heard the same, so she knew Amanda did. Olivia also knew they broke up over some political disagreement. "How's that working out?" Carisi shrugged and explained the break up. She shook her head, Fin was always a little behind the gossip. "You and Amanda keep coming back to each other." Fin opened the drawer and stopped his interrogation.

Carisi held out the paperwork. Fin grabbed the stapler. "I don't think we're meant to be. We try, really we both do. I love her and the girls, but sometimes I think it's better if I'm uncle Dom." Fin froze seeing the paperwork in the drawer. "You ok, Fin?" Fin shut the drawer and nodded. "I think she's in love with someone else. I feel it, no matter how much she says she loves me."

Carisi left and Fin opened Amanda's drawer again to return the stapler and get a better look at what he just saw. He pulled out the paperwork, "Transfer?" He flipped through quickly. He knew her dad was sick and she was back and forth. He expected it to say Atlanta, instead it was LA. He looked at Olivia who had her head in paperwork.

He quickly made copies and placed them back in Amanda's drawer. He held it folded and knocked on Olivia's open door. "Can we talk?"

Olivia took her glasses off and sat back. "Is Amanda ok?"

Olivia raised her eyebrows, responding he should know more than her. "Oh please Liv, you two are close. We all see it. Geez, years ago maybe not, but now. You spend weekends together with the kids, go on joint vacations, hell it's like a marriage." Olivia looked up at him. She was thinking they used to, but she had been so different lately. It worried her now thinking about it.

Olivia sighed,"Honestly, I'm worried. Her dad having that stroke has changed her some. She's back and forth, I haven't talked to her recently unless it's work related."

Fin gripped the paperwork. He had to tell her, "Well you need to!" He handed it over to her, clearly upset. He explained he saw it when he grabbed the stapler, "Those are copies. It doesn't look like she filed or anything. She didn't even sign it yet."

Olivia looked through the paperwork. She heard Fin whine about not losing her. He was going on and on. Olivia wondered why LA. She was upset she thought they were better friends than this. "I'll talk to her. Anything else?" Fin couldn't believe her cold nonchalant attitude. He shook his head and walked away.

Olivia did some investigation when he left. She picked up the phone. "Beth, hi it's Olivia." She listened to Beth Anne Rollins panic. "Oh no. I'm sorry. Amanda is fine. She's on a call. I was just checking on you all to see how things are."

Olivia was about to mention Amanda being gone a lot when Beth informed her of the news. Amanda's father had taken a terrible turn and was now in a home. His new young wife had placed him there. Amanda's mother was still the same, selfish and unconcerned. "Where is Amanda anyway? We haven't seen her in months and someone needs to come and get Mason. She signed those documents for court. I'm not being responsible for him until Kim gets herself out and clean. You and I know that will never happen."

Olivia listened carefully. If Amanda hadn't been taking leave to Atlanta where was she going?" She finally was able to get Beth off of the phone. She could have pulled up videos, phone records, anything, but instead she told Fin she was leaving for the day.

On her way out she saw Kat, but only Kat. "Where's Amanda?" Kat shrugged saying there was an emergency with her parents and she had to go. "Wait! She left you on the job?" Kat explained she did everything and even typed up the paperwork on her phone. She was going to print everything now. She showed Olivia. Her work was perfect. "See you tomorrow Kat."

She got in her SVU mode and headed to Amanda's apartment. She called Sienna and asked if Amanda had dinner planned and stopped for Chinese. Over dinner, Sienna told on Amanda without even knowing it. Amanda was gone a lot. "I told her she needed to slow down. She has to be tired with all the late nights and weekends."

Olivia smiled at the girls. She hadn't booked Amanda for any overtime in two months. They were all pulling it. "It's nice that you brought dinner, since she's working now."

Olivia was pissed, but she kept a straight face. She let Sienna go home. "Girls, how about a sleepover with Noah?" Their eyes lit up. Jesse had brown eyes like Declan Murphy, but Billie had Amanda's blue ones. "Come on!"

Olivia got home and Lucy helped with baths before she left. They had some play time. Noah was older now, but he was so good with the girls, "Mom, it's getting late." She sent Amanda a long text that ended with come to my place now. She kissed him and said goodnight. She put him in his bed and the girls in the guest room.

Around 10:30 she heard a soft knock. She opened the door to see a very scared Amanda. This was Amanda from so long ago, she almost didn't recognize her. She had been crying. Olivia didn't cut her any slack. "Oh no! All of your lies are out now, so don't cry. I want the truth." She pulled her in and sat her down.

Amanda knew she was mad. Olivia told her everything. "LA? What's there, why? Amanda, are you in trouble again?" Amanda frowned, it was a fair question.

Amanda spoke, it was now or never, "I picked LA because it's the farthest from you." Olivia was shocked and asked what she did to make her that upset. Amanda shook her head, "No you don't get it. I'm in love with you."

Amanda told her about that night. Then she remembered all of her feelings over the last few years. She told her how she would think of her all the time and she didn't know when it all happened, but she was the reason she broke up with Dominick. "I know you don't feel the same. I know you're waiting on Elliot. I know you're not that type. I know…"

Olivia kissed her lips to shut her up. She stopped but rubbed her nose with hers, so she could see those beautiful blue eyes she loved so much. "I do love you and unlike you. I know exactly when it happened. Unlike you, I just have a lot more self control."

Amanda couldn't believe it. "Amanda, all of our time together, how could I not fall in love with you. I think we both have the same fears. Olivia kissed her again. They stayed forehead to forehead. Amanda became excited and moved her hands down Olivia's body and under her nightshirt. She was almost at her breasts that she had longed to touch among other things.

Olivia stopped her and Amanda became fearful. "I don't want a one night thing with you. This will have an effect on our kids, our team, and our job. We may not be able to stay at SVU."

Amanda dropped her hands, "Our kids love us and each other already. Our team isn't the same. Fin loves us and Dominick does too. I don't want to leave SVU, but I'll leave if I can be yours forever."

Olivia held her cheeks, "I'm the boss, you'll stay, I'll go. I love you Amanda." Olivia kissed her lips softly. She stood up and pulled her up by the hand. She held her hand as she quietly checked on the kids. Finally pulling Amanda in her bedroom. Olivia locked the door and Amanda back up to the bed. "Amanda, are you sure?"

Amanda had never been so sure in her life. Instead of saying anything. She unbuttoned her shirt slowly. She tried to tease Olivia. They had slept in her bed before but never like this. Olivia walked towards her mirroring everything Amanda did until they were completely naked and standing in front of each other. Amanda looked down at Olivia's body, "Fuck this is what's been under your uniform." Olivia was older, but her body was perfect.

Olivia pulled her blonde hair tilting her neck up for a kiss, instead she felt Olivia's tongue circle her neck and move down between her breasts. She kept moving down and Olivia was on her knees circling her belly button before kissing it. "Is this nice?"

Amanda moaned, "Liv, your tongue. Have you done this before?" Olivia shook her head and promised she was the first and only. Olivia moved to her bare front splitting her slit. Amanda moaned and grabbed Olivia's brown hair. "Oh shit Liv!" Olivia laughed, she hadn't done anything, but it was enough. Amanda pulled her up and kissed her. "How do you want to do this?"

Olivia laughed, this was Amanda, "Just let go, we'll figure it out." Olivia and Amanda kissed and rolled together in the bed before Olivia settled on top. This was how the first time should be.

Olivia pushed her hand between Amanda's thighs. Olivia's long finger slipped in Amanda's wet core. She kissed her to cover her scream when she inserted the second. "Ahhhh!" Olivia cuffed her front as Amanda rocked on her two middle fingers. Ahhh!" Olivia sucked on her pink hard nipple.

Amanda was enjoying it, but she thought about Olivia. She reached between Olivia's legs. Amanda watched Olivia's brown eyes widen as she pushed inside. They were making love and it was everything they both wanted. They wanted to feel this way forever. They didn't say a word, only exchanged moans of pleasure. They didn't have to say anything and when they both climaxed together they knew exactly what they had, love. They held each other the rest of the night.

Amanda jumped up at 7:00, terrified. "Liv, what should we tell the kids? How do we bring in Mason?" Olivia watched her panic and pulled her back in bed. "Shhh, stop, breathe, and look at me, we'll figure it out." Amanda smiled. This is what she wanted. She wanted it all with Olivia Benson.

They heard feet and the door flew open. Two little blonde girls and Noah came crashing in. "Sorry mom, I tried to grab them. Noah looked at them and he was old enough to figure it out, but he didn't say anything. Amanda was glad they put on clothes after rounds 2 and 3.

Amanda held the girls and Noah sat crisscross on the bed. They told them first. Noah smiled, "So Amanda is mom too?" Amanda smiled. They told them about Mason and they were all happy. Noah jumped up happy to add another boy, "Perfect now we're even." Jesse shook her finger and said with two mommies girls still ruled.

Noah agreed but had an idea, "Hey I have an idea." They all waited. "Blueberry pancakes for breakfast. They sat and ate breakfast and the kids watched a movie.

Olivia sat with Amanda while she called her mother. She told her about Olivia and her. She was shocked her mother didn't have a problem. "Okay, we'll be there next weekend to get him for good."

Olivia kissed her, "We?" Amanda nodded and confirmed their first family trip together. Olivia agreed and stood up thinking they should join the kids for the movie. Amanda stopped and asked about everything else. Olivia kissed her lips, "I Love you. Don't you ever think of a transfer. No more running Amanda."