I was standing by the coach waiting to depart when I caught sight of Mal striding towards the horses.

"Mal!" I called out to him. He went rigid and turned to stare at me as I approached. "Mal, I'm sorry about the other night. I said a lot of things I didn't mean. " He appeared less haggard, as though he had a few decent meals and a couple nights of uninterrupted sleep.

"Alina." Aleksander called from the coach and I stifled the urge to cringe.

Mal stared past me towards Aleksander, his face hard. "Your master is calling." He turned without looking at me and swung himself up onto the horse.

I turned back to the coach on shaky knees. Aleksander stood there, glowering at us. I trudged over to him. He offered his hand to help me in and I took it. He climbed in behind me and shut the door. There was a knock on the roof of the coach and Aleksander knocked back, never taking his eyes off me. The coach swayed and began rolling.

"Oh, stop scowling," I admonished. "We're just friends." Then my bravado slipped and I felt my lip begin to wobble. I was powerless to stop the tears. My voice cracked as I said, "And I'm not even sure we're that anymore."

"Oh, Alina." As he gathered me into his arms, the connection between us opened. "I'm sorry. It seems I am not immune to jealousy. I know what he means to you." I could sense his deception through the bond; it felt oily and foul. I imagined the connection to be a set of great double doors. I heaved with all my might until they slammed shut, then I barred them. My task would have been easier if I had left that connection open and allowed myself to feel each lie and manipulation, but I could not bear it. I laid my head on his shoulder and accepted his false comfort.

In the days that followed, we were rarely apart. We rode together in the coach, took our meals together, and every night I slept in his arms, either in his tent or in the few inns we were able to find along the way. I knew my situation with Mal had only been made worse the first he saw me retiring to Aleksander's tent for the night, but I had bigger things than Mal and our tattered friendship to worry about.

Each day Aleksander and I would talk. I would tell him of my escapades growing up in Keramzin; the naughtier my behavior the more he seemed to enjoy the story. He would tell me of places he'd been, things he'd seen, and people he'd met. He would talk of his hope to see Ravka strong, united, and at peace. He voiced his desire to bring safety to all Grisha, not just those in our country. I found I could not disagree with his goals; his methods were the problem.

We devoted some time each day to my training. He would instruct me in Grisha theory and history, and we worked on strengthening and honing my power. "One day, you'll be as powerful as me," he promised.

"I doubt that."

"I've had years to learn and enhance my power. You are my equal, my only equal. Give yourself time, Alina."

Each night he held me, kissed me, and caressed me. Aleksander was true to his word. The moment I said stop, he did, without ever showing a glimmer of disappointment or pressuring me for more.

I had tried several more times to talk with Mal, but he had stormed away from me each time. I knew Aleksander was looking for any excuse to exact retribution on Mal for the way he was treating me, so I decided to stay away.

After more than three weeks of travel, we were near Chernast. Ivan came to our tent one evening. "Moi soverenyi, the trackers say we are very close. We will likely find the stag within the next few days."

"Excellent. Anything else?"

"No, moi soverenyi."

Aleksander waved his hand in dismissal.

I tossed and turned that night, restless in Aleksander's arms.

"Alina, what is it?"

I'm terrified I'm about to become your slave. That you'll use me to do horrible things. I turned in his arms to face him. "I just…are you certain there's no other way. Must we kill such a mythic creature for our own gain."

He put his hand on the nape of my neck, just as he had on the trip from Kribirsk to Os Alta. That same sense of calm and certainty filled me. "If there were any other way, I would take it, Alina."

"I know," I sighed in defeat. "It just seems a monstrous crime."

"We'll be able to save countless lives. End the war, destroy the Fold, reunite Ravka. We'll have peace. Is that not worth the life of one animal, however mythic it may be?"

"Yes, of course it is." If only I could trust you to do those things.

I buried my face in his chest and he stroked my hair. "Sleep, Alina. Tomorrow may require much of you."

He placed his hand back on my neck and I drifted into a dreamless sleep.