Zootopia Short Stories: Nick Plays Poker

Yep, I'm getting bored waiting for Disney to do something with Zootopia besides those long…really long-awaited, and very overdue Disney Plus shorts. Nick is playing cards with some of Disney's other actors.

Written for the reader's enjoyment without any profitable purposes. Nick and Judy, along with Zootopia, are the property of Disney. My apologies to anyone which this satirical story might offend, including any and all Disney stars and any of the actors mentioned within.

Disney World, Florida

Thrippp! Thrippp! The fox in the green tropical shirt shuffled the deck of cards while eying the other card players sitting at the dining room table. To his left was another familiar fox in a worn-out black top hat and a threadbare jacket. That fox was named J. Worthington Foulfellow and was the epitome of a card shark, he was definitely the kind of fox who was not to be trusted. Calling himself "Honest John", he made the fox handling the cards look like an amateur when it came to swindling others. He was, after all, the self-proclaimed king of the hustlers.

To that fox's left was yet another fox, this one was much more famous and with a reputation of being a crafty but honest bandit. His tricks and thievery were always for the benefit of the downtrodden, it was said that he only robbed the rich to give to the poor. Robin Hood reached up and adjusted his green hunter's cap before he grabbed up a pawful of turkey kibble and began munching on the treats.

The last fox at the table was the youngest and appeared too naïve to be in the company of the others. That fox let out a sigh while he pulled at the collar of the tee shirt he was wearing. "Nick, why do I have to wear this shirt and these shorts?" he whined to the fox dealing the cards.

"Tod, I am not going to have any other naked foxes beside me sitting around in my apartment. What would Judy say if she walked in and saw you buck-tailed naked?" Nick Wilde simply answered before he sat the deck down and picked up the five cards in front of him.

"So sayth the fox who appeared unclothed in his own movie trailer," Robin snickered.

"At least I wear pants when I go out to greet the fans," Nick shot back while giving the other fox one of his infamous smirks.

"Fie, this tis a tunic!"

"How do you play this game again, is it like Go Fish?" the youngest fox suddenly asked while he fidgeted with his cards.

"No, this is Poker, don't be such a rube," Honest John harshly admonished the other fox before he looked at the cards in his paw.

"I'm sure that you have heard that they are having tryouts for Finnick's new voice," Nick quickly interjected in an effort to change the subject.

"Well, they shalt be sorely tried to replace fair Tiny's deep tone. Hath you heard any of the new candidates?" Robin asked while he placed two cards on the table and picked up the two new cards which Nick dealt.

"I had to leave when I heard Ryan Reynold's voice coming out of my friend's muzzle, it didn't sound right."

"That figures, everyone knows that guy will do anything for a buck," Honest John scoffed.

"Look who's talking?" Robin softly muttered. The fox in the top hat gave him a scowl.

"That wasn't the worse," Nick answered while he dealt Honest John three new cards.

"Oh?" Robin replied.

"Well, you know about the feud that Ryan Reynolds is having with you know who?"

"Twas that the one he had with the late, great Betty White?"

"No, the Aussie."

"Wait, Wolverine's voice was coming out of Finnick?" Honest John asked.

"Yeah, but Hugh Jackman didn't try to even cover up his Australian accident and that was just so, so wrong," Nick answered while he stared at Todd who just sat there looking perplexed at his cards. "Do you want to discard any of those?" he finally asked the younger fox.

"I…I…well…maybe?" Tod answered before he scratched his muzzle with his right paw. "Maybe one?"

"Then toss the card down on the table, so Nick can give you a new card!" Honest John growled in growing frustration.

"Okay! Okay!" the younger fox quickly said before he placed a card on the table. "Hit me!" he enthusiastically proclaimed, with a wag of his tail.

"Wrong game, you sayth that when thou art playing Blackjack," Robin patiently chuckled.

"I'd like to hit you alright!" Honest John mumbled before he tossed a couple more chips into the growing pile.

"I doth raise thee," Robin proclaimed while he met the bet and added two more chips.

There was the sound of other chips joining the pile.

All eyes turned toward the younger fox who just sat there looking perplexed. "Tod, it's your turn. You either need to raise or call the bet."

"Hey, guys, what do you call having a ten, jack, queen, king, and the ace of hearts again?" Tod asked instead while he fiddled with the cards in his paws.

"You have a royal flush?" Nick exclaimed in surprise.

"I foldith!" Robin sighed before he tossed his cards on the table.

"Me too!" Honest John grumbled.

"It looks like you won, Tod," Nick said before he too sat his cards on the table.

"I did?" the young fox exclaimed.

"You have a royal flush, of course, you won!" Honest John huffed out.

"I didn't have a royal flush," Tod answered before he too set his cards down on the table. "I was just asking what you called such a pawful of cards just in case I ever got one."

"TOD!" the other three foxes groaned.