The relatively calm, evening breeze of spring carries with it a fresh wave of nostalgia, along with a myriad of smells that intertwine into a refreshing scent of fresh flowers and new growth. Sasuke turns his closed eyes towards the night sky and breathed in deep, allowing the smell to permeate his being, as if it alone held the power to cleanse his soul of his past sin. As if every ingredient involved in creating the revitalizing scent of spring was specifically designed for him, to renew his body and bring promise of a new beginning.
However, like his wistful thinking, the wind faded; the memories of his past, lingered. For two years he had worked towards redemption from the terrible choices he had made as a child and a teenager. The time he'd been gone hadn't been wasted, considering Sasuke could finally take a full breath without the crushing weight of guilt heavy on his chest. But standing in the center of a well-worn path, eyes fixed upon the all-too familiar entrance of a place he used to call home, he second-guessed his decision to return.
Two years seemed like a long time, but being here and confronting his past head on after finally, painstakingly freeing himself from a dark part of it, had him wondering if he could handle it yet. Alone, away from the reminder of a life he had tried to give up, he could focus on finding himself again. He could look forward, and fill his time with selfless sacrifices to redeem all of the terrible choices he had made. He could begin healing hurts and undoing damage that he had indirectly, or directly caused. Many villages felt the affects of his vengeance, and some were still too angry to accept his change of heart. He couldn't blame them. They had lost loved ones too soon, and if anyone understood the depth of that pain, it was Sasuke. So, he accepted grace where grace was given. It may never be deserved, but his two most important people had taught him a lesson in humility. Two people who, by all intents and purposes should be dead, considering his murderous rage back then, and yet they lived. Not only did they live, they lived with purpose. A purpose that had been solely focused on pulling him from the darkness his tormented past had shrouded him in.
Their grace was the least deserved of all. That didn't matter though, in the end. It's never been what mattered. He could see that now, thanks to Naruto. His greatest rival, his best friend, and his brother by bond, had to beat Sasuke within an inch of his life, before he finally got the picture. None of us deserve grace; we don't deserve forgiveness. We just give it freely, and pray we are lucky enough to receive it. Naruto forgave Sasuke for every wrong, every hurt. Sasuke deserved death, or a life of solitude, but Naruto was always there to reach out his hand and pull him from that path, no matter the cost. Yet when Sasuke's eyes were finally opened, and he had accepted the fact that he was going to die there at the place where it all began, next to his best friend who had never given up on him, his other saving grace was there with outstretched hands. Hands that glowed with healing chakra, and a deeper kind of love he couldn't quite comprehend. She was there, dirt stained; tear stained, cut and bruised, heartbroken, and dead on her feet tired, saving him. Pulling him the rest of the way out of the darkness in a way that only she could. Repairing the damage that had been inflicted while he was learning a most valuable life lesson.
Many successes were had, and new bonds had been created during his travels. A family he had saved from rogue bandits now looked at him as a wayward son, one that would forever be on the move, but was always welcome to return. He would return to them one day, if only for a short time. With these new bonds, some of the pain and grief he had hung onto all his life began to ease, just a bit. It would never leave, but it allowed room to breath. Which is what he was focused on doing as he looked up at the village gates of Konoha-gakure. Breathe Sasuke, he told himself. Sure, he was second-guessing his return for the thousandth time, thinking of every excuse in his book why he should just turn around and walk away. But something carried his feet forward. Something that was unfamiliar to him, as it was a fairly new feeling in his limited bank of experienced emotions. It was a strong pull deep within him that would only be satisfied when he laid eyes on the two constants in his life, if only just to reassure himself they were still there, never giving up on him; particularly, the pink-haired kunoichi. He was confidant Naruto would always be around, but Sakura…he had hurt her more than anyone. Still, she had forgiven him after the war. She was by his side through his recovery and his imprisonment, through his trial and his release. She was there at the end when he decided to leave on his journey, and once again she had offered to leave everything behind to go with him.
He didn't let on, but his heart was moved in that moment. It would never cease to amaze him how far she was willing to go for him. For a split moment, he had entertained the idea in his mind. What would it be like to go on a journey with Sakura? But he knew it couldn't be, not the way that he had been. He had resigned himself the moment he made the decision to leave that this journey of atonement was for him, and him alone. So he had turned Sakura down once again. Except, he had felt that first unfamiliar pull in him at the sight of her disappointment. It compelled him forward with fingers outstretched to poke the unsuspecting Sakura in the middle of her forehead, reassuring her that perhaps there would be a "next time."
Now, that feeling carried his feet past the open mouthed guards at the entrance of the gate. They knew who he was, but they didn't greet him. Perhaps they were too shocked to see him return, and not sure how they were supposed to react. Sasuke didn't really care. The less bothered he was on his way through the village, the better.
He decided against going straight through to the Hokage tower in order to avoid unwanted attention. It was dusk now, but still early evening and many people would be getting food at the markets. He detoured to the left and took a longer way through the village on streets much less crowded. People barely glanced at him as they made their way home, and for that he was glad.
He didn't really have a plan for tonight. His return had been spontaneous after receiving a letter from Naruto, and while it had taken time to travel and get home, he hadn't allowed himself to think about what he would do after walking through those gates. Part of him had been unsure whether he would commit. But there he was, committing at the very least to report to his former sensei, now Hokage. After that was to be determined.
Sasuke was coming up to the new and improved hospital that he unfortunately became very familiar with after his fight with Naruto. He spent more time than he cared to there, but a pink haired doctor had made things a little more bearable. Sasuke wondered if she was still at work, staying too late and neglecting her own well being, like she had done when he was injured. She was always by his bedside, whether it be as his doctor or as his friend. Part of him recognized her commitment as a medical professional, and her willingness to sacrifice for the needs of others. But he also recognized that it was different with him. She wanted to be there, with him, in spite of everything he'd done. Mending the bond he'd tried to sever.
He continued past the hospital and struggled to pull his mind from thoughts of the girl he'd left behind. Hopefully he would be able to get his head together before needing to confront her. He had no idea what to even say. Sasuke finally came to the Hokage tower and walked up three flights of stairs to the Hokages office. He stood there outside the door for a moment, contemplating the reality of his situation. Then before he could so much as lift a hand to knock, the door swung open and there stood Kakashi, the sixth Hokage of Konohagakure and his former mentor; Another undeserving victim of Sasuke's betrayal.
"Sasuke, it's good to see you. You're here sooner than I expected" Kakashi said in a mildly surprised voice. Sasuke stepped back to let Kakashi pass and he quietly closed the door behind them.
"I was just about to head out when I sensed your chakra approaching. I must say it's not unexpected that you would show up in the night like this. Walk with me and you can debrief on the way out. I'm ready to go home." Kakashi said, the crinkle of exhaustion set into the crease of his eyes. "How were your travels coming back?"
"Uneventful" Sasuke stated rather bluntly.
"Ah, can't complain about that I suppose."
They made their way down the stairs and outside the tower doors into the brisk night air that was bright with streetlights, but rather calm in activity. The hustle and bustle was further into the village, and only a few people walked the path by the Hokage tower to get to their homes and their families, in time for dinner Sasuke imagined. He quickly went over the details of his travel to Konoha from his last destination as they walked a leisurely pace.
"So I imagine you're wondering where you will stay tonight," Kakashi said after they wrapped up the topic of traveling. "Rest assured though, for I had the sense to prepare an apartment for your arrival after I received your hawk." Kakashi pulled a silver key from his cloak and handed it to Sasuke who simply looked at the key pensively in his hand.
"Thank you" Sasuke said quietly. "I don't know how long I plan to stay though.
"Don't worry about it Sasuke, you are welcome home any time and you will always have a place to lay your head, whether its briefly or long term." His mentor looked at him sideways with a fatherly expression on his face that made Sasuke's skin heat up a bit. They turned a corner and Sasuke was grateful for the shadow cast in their midst by the tall apartment buildings, which effectively served to cover his awkward embarrassment. He knew he was welcome here because of this man and his two friends, but he wasn't used to direct affection of any sort.
"Also, since I'm on a roll in the mind reading business," he says jokingly as they slowed to a stop in front of one of the apartment buildings on the street, "I assume you are also wondering about the two other members of team 7."
Sasuke had indeed been wondering about the lack of chakra signatures from his two precious comrades, but he didn't give his mentor the satisfaction of being proved right. He waited for him to continue with his explanation.
Not put out by Sasuke's lack of response, Kakashi went on. "I actually sent them out on separate missions before I got your hawk. Not that it would have changed much since I needed them to go either way. I'm sure they won't be pleased to find out you're here while they are on missions, though I suppose it would have been worse if they had known and still couldn't stay." Kakashi paused to study Sasuke quietly for a moment as if he wanted to elaborate further. Sasuke fidgeted slightly under his gaze but otherwise seemed unbothered.
Seeming to think the waters were fine to be tested, he went on. "Naruto won't be back for a few more days. Sakura however, will likely return early tomorrow morning. She likes to travel over night on her returns. She's confessed to me she enjoys coming into the village at sunrise when everyone is still waking up. Also, She will have the next three days off from the hospital since her mission was four weeks long." With only a moments hesitation he added, "You might make it a point to spend some time with her Sasuke."
"Ah" Sasuke replied calmly. "I intend to." He wouldn't admit the spike of adrenaline he felt when Kakashi mentioned her coming home in the morning. Having to face Sakura first before breaking the ice with his boisterous best friend made him anxious for reasons he didn't understand. It was a feeling unfamiliar to him outside of a battle scenario; that "fight or flight" type of energy. Sasuke was never a flight type of guy though, so he steeled his resolve to confront the girl who had hopelessly fallen in love with him. He wondered if she had waited for him all of this time. Deep down he still refused to believe she could truly do that for him, for this long. He would certainly find out.
"Well that's good then. I've done my part at the least. This here is your apartment. I went through the trouble to get you a little shelf stable food. It should get you by for the night, but you'll still need to do some shopping. I also got you a towel for the bathroom. If you need anything else at all Sasuke, just ask. You've been on your own for a long time, but while you are here, try to lean on your friends a bit." Kakashi placed a hand on Sasuke's shoulder, much like a father would his son. "I'm glad you're back." Then with a nonchalant wave he was off, heading home to read his favorite book most likely. Some things would never change.
Sasuke stood there looking at his door for a few minutes in the quiet night. It was official. He was back in Konoha, the village he had so desperately wanted to destroy just 3 years ago, about to walk into his own apartment as if nothing had ever happened in spite of everything that had happened. Time is a fickle thing, he thought.
Sasuke opened up the door and walked in to his sparsely furnished front room. He did a quick walk through of the small place and dumped his pack next to his bed. It wasn't a home necessarily, but it was a proper place to rest. He hoped he could sleep tonight without being plagued by dreams. They had diminished a lot during his travels but certain things would trigger a fresh wave of torturous nights. He wouldn't be surprised if being here would be one of those triggers.
He sat down on the edge and lay back, releasing a deep sigh as he stared up at the ceiling. He was here. But now what? He couldn't put off thinking about it any more. Sakura would be back in the village tomorrow morning and he had a short time with her before she would be back to her busy life style. How should he approach her? Should he let her find him when she was ready?
"Tsk," Sasuke rolled over on his stomach with his head to the side and closed his eyes. No. He's already made her wait long enough with no end in sight for her. The least he could do is go to her, if just to announce that he was back. He wasn't really sure what to do from that point. He didn't even know what his intentions were. He just wanted to take a step forward towards mending their damaged bond. He wanted to make amends now with those closest to him, after spending so much time away from the village, making amends to strangers that were affected by his anger and need for vengeance. That was something that he had needed to do, and he still wasn't truly finished. But the two that never gave up on him deserved the effort it was going to take to repair that bond.
Sasuke sighed again. He decided he would meet her at the gate tomorrow. Step one. From there...he would see. He had never considered a future for himself, so consumed by darkness he had been, and he still didn't think he deserved one. But he had come to a point of acceptance that all was not lost. He could still grow when it came to matters of the heart. Right? Right, he reassured himself.
Eyes closed and exhaustion heavy in his limbs, he drifted off to sleep.