12 - The Life Of An Ordinary Man

Bobby needed to run into town for supplies, and everyone decided to go with him. All four men loaded into his truck with Jimmy in the back. Naturally, word had already started to spread about the strange winged man. There was a great deal of rubbernecking when Bobby parked.

Dean ignored the gawking, quickly moving around to help Jimmy out of the back of the truck. As usual, Jimmy watched everything Dean did with a small, hopeful smile, especially now that Sammy had relaxed a bit more. "Jimmy and I are going in here," Dean called, jerking a thumb to indicate a clothing store. "It's past time we got him some of his own clothes. He's been wearing hand-me-downs for weeks now!"

Bobby waved him off, clearly not caring. But it was Sam Dean was interested in. He'd seen Sammy eyeing the bookstore on the way in and saw him looking that way now. "Go on, Sam," Dean called cheerfully. "We're fine."

Sammy immediately shot Dean a bitch face. "Dean…?"

"Oh, go get a book, Sam," Bobby called, somehow knowing with that eerie sixth sense that all parents have that the two brothers were about to quarrel. His back was still facing them as he continued walking, never looking back. "See you all at the grocery store in an hour."

For a moment, Dean thought Sammy still might argue. He could see his brother's eyes flicker as Sam thought. But after a moment, the younger Winchester sighed. "Alright. Just try to stay out of trouble, alright? I'll see you guys soon."

"Sure thing!" Before anyone could change their minds, Dean had Jimmy by the hand and was marching him into the clothing store.

Of course, there were more gawkers inside the store. But after Dean openly stared back, most of them backed off, finally leaving the two alone. Soon, they were deep in the racks. Jimmy seemed interested in the different types of clothes, especially those Dean didn't typically wear. "Why don't you wear these, Dean?" he was asking, fingering a fancy silk shirt. "They feel nice."

"Two reasons. One, they're seriously expensive, so hands off," Dean explained, gently yet firmly pulling Jimmy's hand away. "Two, you're joking, right? I don't wear that fancy silk shit!"

"That's too bad," Jimmy said, still eyeing the silk with regret. "It feels nice and I think you would look good in it."

Dean found himself blushing for some reason. He cleared his throat and directed Jimmy away from the fancy shit and towards what they could actually afford. While Jimmy began to poke through with decidedly less enthusiasm, Dean considered his words. "I think I get it," he began, "why you're doing this."

"Yes, Dean, I need clothes of my own that actually fit," Jimmy parroted, frowning at a cringe-worthy orange shirt.

"Not that," Dean corrected, quickly replacing the monstrosity. "I mean this whole 'Jimmy Novak' thing. I get it. I mean, yeah, it hurt like hell and really sent me into a spiral, especially since you did precisely what I told you would be the worst case scenario for me. But you're right."

The winged man had turned to face Dean now, looking hard at him. "What are you saying?"

Dean linked his fingers through those of Castiel's good hand. That helped. He felt a bit more balanced when he was actually touching his angel. "I mean I understand what you're trying to do," he said softly, still looking at their fingers. "Cass, there's no way anyone is going to believe you're an angel, not unless you do something really obvious. And then, what happens if they do? If the whole world understands what you really are, what does that mean for you? You'd get mobbed, studied, maybe even shot at? Lots of nuts in the world. So pretending you're human? That's really the best thing you could do to protect yourself and me."

Dean dared to look up. Deep blue eyes seemed to peer into him. Cass's face bore an unreadable expression that made Dean fidget. "You know, I even make myself think of you as Jimmy in my head," Dean admitted, "just so I don't screw it up. But when you first pulled the whole human thing? It threw me so hard I actually believed you myself for a bit. Took me a while before I finally figured it out." He chuckled. "Until then, I really believed you were telling the truth. That my whole life really was the big delusion everyone said it was, just as I'd always feared."

"Dean?" Cass began. "My name is James Novak. At least it is until I remember who I really am."

"Who you…?" Dean sputtered. He shook his head. "Come on, Cass, stop it! It's just you and me here now. You're Castiel, Angel of the Lord."

Now the angel's sapphire blue eyes were full of a sympathy that made Dean feel cold. "I really have hurt you, haven't I?" Cass mumbled. "You cannot continue to believe this, Dean. You can't go on with your life thinking that you were saved by an angel and now you have to somehow pay for it, earn your right to live! You deserve to be happy…"

"I am happy! I'm happy with you!" Dean clutched Castiel's hand tightly to his chest. "Look, if you want to keep things hidden, I'm ok with that. I am! Just, please, don't keep doing this to me, ok? It's just you and me here. I need you to be honest with me."

"What you need is the right to exercise your own free will." Cass was pulling away, why was he pulling away? "You need to look and see that what you have been doing is not what you would have chosen, but for one unexplainable event happening that changed the course of your entire existence. Even if God sent an angel to save you on that day, it wasn't done with strings attached. You have a right to your free will and you always have. Yet you are in constant battle with yourself. You want your freedom even as you willfully throw it away by trying to earn something you never had to prove yourself worthy of in the first place."

"Ok, enough with the riddles," Dean ordered. "I know why you really came with me all this way from Louisiana." He gently caught the angel's wrist, keeping Castiel from moving any farther away. "You want to be with me, don't you?"

Cass's eyes went wide. Then something like a shadow fell over them. "What I want isn't something I can have."

"Free will," Dean reminded. He took a step closer, intentionally pinning Castiel against the rack of clothing to prevent the angel from moving away again. "You're here, with me, and you have a physical body. That physical body has needs, Cass. You want to be with me, don't you?"

"More than anything." The confession was almost a groan. "But I'm no good for you, am I? Not if you keep having these doubts, keep thinking…"

"Stop," Dean ordered. "Just stop. Maybe I've got Nightingale Syndrome, maybe I'm flat-out crazy, whatever. There's a lot of things in my head right now that are confusing. But if there's one thing that I know is completely, one-hundred percent real? It's the way I feel for you." He reached up a hand to rest it against the angel's cheek and smiled when Cass made a small sound and leaned into it. "You want to be with me?"

"Yes," came the whispered reply. Castiel's eyes were half closed now.

"Then be with me. I'll stay with you. I want you no matter who or what you really are."

That caused the angel to grow troubled again. "Dean, you can't waste your life on me. Not when we have so little time left!"

Dean blinked in surprise. "Um, what?"

The angel straightened in alarm. His eyes widened, flicked anxiously around. "Nothing. Forget I said anything. This conversation is pointless."

"Nuh-uh. No way." Dean caught Castiel's arms as the angel attempted to push past. "What are you talking about? What do you mean, we have so little time left?"

"I mean you never know," Cass explained quickly. "You're right, someone could take a shot at me, or I could get another head injury and this time not survive it. And you? You lead such a dangerous life, Dean. What if, one day, your angel isn't there to save you? What if you never had one in the first place? Or even if it's not something dangerous, you could get struck by lightning, or have a heart attack from all of those cheeseburgers and bacon you eat, or…"

Dean clutched at his own hair with both hands and groaned. "Ok. Enough. Once and for all, I need you to do something for me."

"Alright?" The angel looked worried.

Dean looked him in the eyes. "I want you to look at me, right like this, and tell me the truth. Tell me, right now, who you really are."

The winged man froze. His eyes were locked with Dean's, blue trapped by green, as the world seemed to fade away around Dean. There was nothing but the two of them. There was no light, no sound, no movement except the parting of his lips to answer Dean's question. "Dean, I'm…"

"Dean fucking Winchester!"

The moment shattered like a crystal wine glass against a brick wall. Dazed, Dean turned and blinked into the grinning face of a familiar local asshole. "Dennis?" he groaned. "Could we please not do this here and now?"

"Why?" Dennis asked. "Don't want your boyfriend to see you get your ass kicked?" Dennis did a double take, eyes going wide when a massive set of black wings suddenly flared, their owner hissing when the broken wing pained him. "Holy shit, it's true! He really is a freak, isn't he?"

Dean's blood immediately began heating. He turned, placing himself squarely between Dennis and Jimmy. "First, there's nothing wrong with him, so stop staring. Second, why don't you fuck off before I give you a repeat of the last time you thought you were a man?"

"You going to throat punch me again?" Dennis challenged. "Only reason you won that fight was because of that shit-ass move. Even so, if Sheriff Mills hadn't shown up and dragged everyone off, I'd have kicked your ass!"

Dean struggled to control his temper. He was, after all, on probation, not to mention wanted by the law. In another week, he could go back to work for Benny. The last thing he needed now was to get arrested by Jody again and this time get linked somehow with that asshole blackmailer. No. He forced himself to breathe through his nose. "Look, Dennis, this is not the time or the place," he said calmly. "I'm just trying to get some new clothes for my boyfriend. So how about we both just walk away?"

Dennis muttered something rude, but he didn't stop Dean from putting his arm around Jimmy and walking away. "That man seems to not care much for you," Jimmy noted as they left.

"Yeah, well, he holds the popular opinion of me in this town, buddy." Dean stopped, turning to face his angel. "You know, I'm still waiting for an answer?"

Castiel's eyes narrowed. Dean groaned, bracing for an argument when the angel's good arm suddenly shot out, brushing just past Dean's ear. A dull crack followed by a howl of pain caused Dean to whirl around in confusion.

Dennis, apparently, had come up behind him and sent a hard punch towards the back of Dean's unsuspecting head. But Castiel had not only caught the punch, he'd apparently crushed the other man's hand. "Do not do that," the angel growled, stepping around Dean to push the other man back.

Castiel gave Dennis a little shove, releasing his injured hand, and Dennis fell to the ground. "You broke my hand, you fucking freak!" Dennis was screaming. "I'll have you arrested!"

"For what?" Dean laughed. "Because you tried to punch me in the back of my head and got your ass handed to you by a one-armed guy? Jody will love that one! Just get up and get lost, before the store owners call her in here and she really gets mad."

Dean sensed rather than saw movement to his right. He instinctively ducked as he turned, seeing one of Dennis's cronies charging towards him. But once again, Castiel was there. Cass's good wing snapped sharply out, catching Dean's attacker full in the chest. All of the air went out of the startled man with a whoosh. He sailed backwards into the rack of expensive shirts, causing the entire rack to go crashing to the ground. Dean winced, even as he turned and blocked a third attacker who had come in from his left.

He didn't have time to do anything else. A furious Castiel had the new man by the collar and had yanked him back, throwing him backwards away from Dean. Yowling the whole way, the man slid on his upper back, legs comically in the air, down the aisle between the racks of clothing. He rolled twice and finally came to a stop on the boots of an angry-looking short-haired woman. She looked down, then looked murderously at Dean. "Dean Winchester," she growled.

Dean quickly caught his angel, who had started moving towards the woman with a determined expression on his face. "Easy," he cautioned softly. "She's not here to fight." Raising his voice and his hand in a cheerful wave, Dean called, "Hi, Sheriff Mills! Have you met Jimmy Novak?"

Jody stomped forward, dragging the groaning man at her feet up by the arm. "Shut up and help me round everyone up. Again! I swear, Winchester, this had better be good!"

"Ten minutes," Sammy bitched. "That's all it took. Ten minutes, Dean! I let you two out of my sight for ten lousy minutes and suddenly Jody's slapping cuffs on people?!"

"They started it," Dean announced smugly. "Jimmy just ended it. You should have seen their faces, Sammy! When old Dennis the Menace was getting into that car on his way to the hospital, his hand was purple and twice its size. Served him right, that…!"

"Dean, I think you are missing the point," Sammy insisted. "You're supposed to be keeping your head down and your nose clean. Getting into a fight in a clothing store is not how to reach that goal."

"I'm sorry, but I don't understand," Jimmy called through the open back window of the truck. "Those men attacked my boyfriend. Is it not in my best interest that I protect him?"

Sam shook his head. "No, I… Wait, boyfriend?"

"Yes, Dean said that he was in the store buying clothing for his boyfriend," Jimmy recalled. "He was attacked, so I protected him. I fail to see why this is a bad thing."

"Jimmy, I didn't mean you shouldn't protect him, I just…" Sam shook his head again. "Boyfriend? Are you two officially dating?"

"Sure are," Dean announced, looking fondly back through the window at Jimmy, who beamed back.

"Well that's… I mean…" Sam sputtered. His face broke into a huge grin. "Dean, that's incredible! I mean, I knew you two were kind of circling things, and thought maybe that was part of why you wanted to be alone…"

"Of course that's why they wanted to be alone, ya idjit," Bobby grumbled. Until they'd gotten on the road, the older man hadn't said a word. "And Jimmy, you thrash any bastard that goes after your man. Kick their ass but good, you hear me, boy?"

"Yes, sir, I fully intend to protect Dean as my man."

"Ok, stop," Dean called, face reddening even as he smiled. "First, everyone needs to fully acknowledge that this was not my fault. Even Jody recognizes, based on what everyone said and the tapes, that I walked away. Second, Jimmy, you're a hell of a fighter, but you need to remember, you're still injured, ok?"

"Of course, Dean." Jimmy settled in among the groceries that Sam and Bobby had to get by themselves while he and Dean dealt with the police. He appeared quite smug.

"Good. That being said?" Dean's face broke into a wicked grin. "Dude, when you're healed up, you and I are going to make one hell of a team!"

"Wait, what?!" Sam exclaimed. "Dean, you cannot be serious! You're thinking about taking Jimmy along with you on your crazy jobs?"

"Damned right I am," Dean announced proudly. "Now I've seen how he can fight, I know he'll be an asset. Besides, this way I won't have to listen to everyone bitch about needing someone along for two-man jobs."

"But… it's Jimmy," Sam protested weakly. "I mean nothing against you, Jimmy. We're all aware that you're stronger than most, and you can clearly take care of yourself in a brawl. But Dean…" Sam glanced back at Jimmy, who had gone still and quiet, and gave a deep sigh. "Ok, I'll just say it outright. Jimmy is not exactly street smart. He's sweet and warm and he's going to make you a wonderful boyfriend. But I just don't know that he's the right guy to back you up on a dangerous mission. Don't you think one or both of you is likely to get hurt?"

"He'll be fine." Dean reached back through the window for Jimmy's hand. "Don't worry, I won't rush you. We'll take things slow, nothing too dangerous at first. I'm thinking I'll start you off with one-man jobs, just tagging along with me to learn things…"

"And what, pray tell, are you going to do about his wings?" Bobby asked. The older man's voice was soft. "I share Sam's reservations and then some. You can't just hide Jimmy's wings under an old blanket and expect him not to get noticed. A blind man could pick him out of a line-up, Dean, you can't let him get seen!"

"Then he won't get seen." Dean pulled Jimmy's hand in closer for a kiss. "Maybe I should get out of that side of things for a while anyway, get into some protection details. Then it won't matter who sees him." He met his angel's eyes through the window. "Besides, I have a feeling that Jimmy would make one hell of a guardian."

Bobby grunted at this. Sam still looked doubtful, but didn't say anything. Meanwhile, Dean continued to hold his angel's gaze. We never did get to finish talking, he prayed, but I don't think I care. I know who you really are. You don't need to say it.

Whatever Castiel may or may not have heard, the blue eyes Dean was looking at never changed.