DESTINY - CHAPTER 07
The first snow of the season had covered the ground in a thin blanket of pristine white. A snowflake drifted down landing on Ahsoka's outstretched fingertip. Its fragile form melted a moment later into a drop of water. The drop fell to the snow-covered ground at her feet where it transformed once again into a crystal of ice.
It struck Ahsoka how much her journey through life resembled that of the snowflake. Solitary, transient, impermanent. Sometimes she longed for it to be different, to be something more.
Stifling a yawn, Ahsoka pulled her cloak tighter around her. She resumed walking toward the small communications hut where the clan leaders held their morning meeting.
As she walked, her thoughts went back to the one thing that seemed to occupy her every waking moment - the clone trooper imprisoned in the storage shed.
One hundred and seventy-seven days had passed since he'd arrived on Axalon.
One hundred and seventy-seven days of carrying the burden of his life on her shoulders.
One hundred and seventy-seven nights where she'd struggled to quiet her mind and sleep was fickle and elusive.
Ahsoka had never wanted to make the clone a prisoner. Bandrix had brought him to her as a tribute — delivering his life, and death, into her hands. She'd not desired any of that, but the ironic fact was now, more than ever, she was the master of the clone's fate.
She couldn't let him go. His recovery by the Republic or his capture by the Separatists posed too great a risk to the safety of her people. But the guilt of his imprisonment gnawed at her every day and was becoming almost too much to bear.
For one hundred and seventy-seven days she'd had to consider his presence in every decision she made and every action she took. For one hundred and seventy-seven days she'd wanted nothing more than to remove his restraining collar, drop him off at the nearest backwater planet with a rudimentary space port and let him find his way home. For one hundred and seventy-seven days she'd been searching for a solution to this no-win situation.
One hundred and seventy-seven days.
Ahsoka wondered when she'd started marking time by his presence in her life.
Pulling the communications hut's heavy door flap aside Ahsoka stepped inside. She blew on her cold hands and rubbed them together, nodding at her friends gathered around the warmth of a small fire pit on one side of the room.
"Good morning, commander," Manami said, with a nod.
The rest of the group — Reesa, Bandrix, Dian'thy, Jin, Kip and Waunado — echoed Manami's greeting.
"Good morning, everyone," Ahsoka said, forcing a smile and trying to shake off her melancholy. "What's the latest update about the miners on Farsa-Minor?"
"Not good," Manami said. "The epidemic is spreading. All ten thousand inhabitants will be infected within the week. Most will die within two weeks after exposure if they don't receive the antigen."
"Holy Maker," Kip whispered, shaking his head.
"It's not like this is unexpected," Jin said. "The Republic and the CIS suck up every resource, including medical supplies, to fuel their war efforts."
"And it is the innocent who suffer most," Waunado added.
Ahsoka turned to Reesa. "Have you found any alternative targets other than the Republic supply ship?"
"Yes," Reesa replied, "but they're all too small. We'd have to hit seven or eight of them to get adequate medical supplies for Farsa-Minor. That would take us almost two weeks of non-stop missions and every incursion would have to be successful, no screw-ups."
"We don't have the time or the numbers to make that work," Jin said. "And pulling off that many heists in a row would bring too much attention to this sector from both the Republic and the CIS. We might as well activate a homing beacon and wait for them to invade."
"We must hit the Republic supply ship," Bandrix said, sweeping his gaze to everyone around the fire. "It is the only viable option. It will be on the edge of Republic controlled space so there should be no fighter escort."
Ahsoka turned to Dian'thy. "You've remained quiet so far, my friend. I would like your counsel as well."
Dian'thy looked at each face in the room. Then he said, "You all know about the Separatist blockade of Ryloth, the plague, and the fate of my mate. Like the population on Ryloth, those on Farsa-Minor need help. We may be the only ones capable of providing it. I only wish this old body was strong enough to accompany those of you who go on this mission."
Ahsoka gave Dian'thy an appreciative nod. "Thank you."
"Alright," Ahsoka said, "we'll go after the Republic ship. Bandrix and Jin, assemble a strike team." She turned to Reesa. "Reesa, what's our time frame?"
"About seven standard days," Reesa said. "Two days in hyperspace to intercept the Republic ship. Three days to double back to Farsa-Minor and unload the supplies. Another two days to return to Axalon."
"Kip," Ahsoka said, "make sure we have adequate rations, water and fuel for the trip. We'll take the VCX-100."
She brought her eyes to the Ugnaught. "Waunado, anything it doesn't need to fly, strip it out. We need every inch of cargo space we can find."
"Commander, we've got a problem," Reesa said.
Ahsoka turned to her. "Explain."
"To dock, we'll need Republic docking codes. We don't have them and there's no way to get any."
The room fell silent and Ahsoka felt her heart sink.
"There is a way," Bandrix said.
Ahsoka brought her attention to him. "How?"
"The Republic Senate granted GAR troops authority to board any Republic vessel for purposes of inspection for shipping regulation compliance and to guarantee Republic security," Bandrix said.
"How does that help us?" Jin asked.
"There are special GAR military boarding codes that all Republic vessels know and must comply with," Bandrix said.
"Still not following you," Jin said.
"A high-ranking GAR officer would know those codes," Bandrix said, looking directly at Ahsoka. "Someone … like a captain."
Ahsoka held her breath as the room fell silent.
When no one spoke, Bandrix continued. "It's almost certain the clone knows the codes we need. Without those codes, thousands will die."
"Commander," Reesa said, turning to Ahsoka with a worried look, "do you think he would help us?"
"I … I don't-" Ahsoka stuttered.
Bandrix cut her off. "It doesn't matter whether he wants to or not. I will interrogate the clone. He will tell us those codes."
Ahsoka's stomach clenched at the word interrogate. She knew Bandrix would use the restraining collar to get information from the clone. But he'd already suffered enough. She needed to protect him from Bandrix. But she also needed to convince him to help. She just wasn't sure how.
Ahsoka drew in a breath. "I'll speak with him."
"With respect, Commander," Bandrix said, "do you have the stomach to do what's necessary to make him talk? Because if you don't, I will gladly take that burden from you."
Anger flared in Ahsoka's chest and she fought to keep her voice even. "He is not a prisoner of war, Bandrix. He isn't even our enemy."
"And yet, he threatens our very existence," Bandrix replied.
Ahsoka's anger flashed hotter. "He threatens nothing and no one," she snapped. "Let me remind you, Bandrix, that you brought him here. And now he must stay here until we can figure out what to do with him. We threaten our existence, not him."
Bandrix frowned. "That may be, but-"
"I will speak with him," Ahsoka snapped. "End of discussion."
Bandrix matched her glare for another second, then gave her a shallow bow. "Of course," he said, his voice subdued.
Ahsoka caught every member's eyes, and when no one else spoke she spun on her heels and stepped back out into the mid-morning cold.
As Ahsoka walked through the snow she heard quick footsteps coming up behind her. She let a tendril of consciousness reach out through the Force and recognized Dian'thy. His footsteps slowed as he caught up and continued walking by her side.
"I know it is hard for you to be in conflict with any of us, even Bandrix. But you did the right thing," Dian'thy said.
"Sometimes I'm not so sure," Ahsoka said, as they trudged along.
"What are you unsure about in this matter?" he asked.
Ahsoka's shoulders slumped. "About the clone?" She took in a long breath and pushed it out. "Everything."
Dian'thy was quiet for a few steps. Then he said, "Soka, you are very powerful. In fact, I suspect I am aware of only a fraction of your abilities because you must hide your power from the galaxy."
Dian'thy placed a hand on Ahsoka's shoulder and gently pulled her to a halt. She turned to face him and found his soft eyes.
"But the most powerful part of you is not hidden," Dian'thy said. "It is there for everyone to see. It is the source of your greatest strength."
Dian'thy took both of Ahsoka's hands in his. "I speak of your heart," he said. "It is filled with compassion and kindness and love for others. It shines in a galaxy of darkness."
Ahsoka tilted her head and looked at her feet, her throat suddenly tight. She felt Dian'thy's fingers on her chin urging her face upwards as he ducked his head to capture her eyes again.
"Yet, your heart is also the source of your greatest weakness. While it gives freely, it is unable to receive," he said.
After a pause he continued, "If you are unsure about anything — about everything — then you must trust in the strongest part of you to guide you forward. Follow your heart, Soka, and the universe will provide you with the answers you seek."
Ahsoka felt a tear escape one eye. Dian'thy brushed it from her cheek with a finger before it could fall. He gave her a reassuring smile and Ahsoka felt her mind and body slowly begin to calm.
"You're a wise and good friend," Ahsoka said, wiping at her eyes before more tears could fall.
Dian'thy touched her shoulder, urging her forward again.
As they approached the storage building he said, "Rex is a good man. Be honest with him. His heart is very much like your own."
"Thank you, again," Ahsoka said.
Dian'thy nodded and turned to walk away.
Ahsoka stared at the door as Dian'thy's words spun through her mind.
Rex is a good man.
Ahsoka had come to know that was true.
He was honorable, and even though he was imprisoned, he'd maintained his integrity and dignity.
He was likable and engendered a respect and affection from those in the clan who had come to know him.
He held no grudge against her. Even though Bandrix's intention for saving his life had been so she could kill him. Even though she'd kicked him halfway across the camp and spat her hatred at him.
Instead, he'd shown her kindness and compassion. For the past several weeks she'd ruminated over their talk the day she'd killed the pirate during the attack on her crew. It still stunned her that he understood exactly what she'd been feeling, because he'd had the same feelings himself.
Yet, Ahsoka still kept him imprisoned, refusing even to share with him the simple courtesy of her name.
A name.
Such a simple thing, but so powerful in all its implications.
Her name was a threat, to herself and her people.
Although she'd only been Plo Koon's young padawan when she'd left the Order, she'd been known as a talented Jedi, a prodigy by all accounts. That meant even though she disappeared over ten years ago, her name was known to the Republic and Separatists alike.
If her name made its way off this moon, the Separatists' million credit bounty for any Jedi, dead or alive, would bring bounty hunters from all over the Outer Rim. They'd spare none of her people to capture their prize.
If the Jedi found out where she was, they would come for her. At the very least they'd try to convince her to return to the Order and fight as a leader in a war they unwittingly perpetuated.
If Ahsoka refused their offer they would see her as a threat — a skilled Force user unaligned with their principles and misguided priorities. Someone that might eventually sympathize with Separatist ideologies. Or worse, embrace the dark side and become a powerful source of darkness, like so many fallen Jedi over the millennia. To prevent any of those possibilities, they would feel justified in locking her away in the Citadel.
If they came for her — bounty hunters or Jedi — she would fight. If she fought, she knew her people would fight beside her. And if they fought, they would die.
Before anyone came for her, she would need to be gone. She would have to leave her friends and this life that had given her purpose over the past many years.
So, Ahsoka had asked her friends to guard her name. She'd not trusted anyone, other than Dian'thy, with the full truth of her past. She'd implored them all to keep her name a secret amongst themselves because all their lives depended upon that secret remaining intact. And so far, everyone had kept their promise, even with the clone in their midst.
Her name.
It was a simple word but had the power to define her place in the universe.
The clone had a name.
Ahsoka gritted her teeth, self-loathing welling inside.
His name was Rex.
Rex.
It was his name.
He had a right to be called by his name. A right to be known by the universe.
Shame washed over her that she'd denied him the most basic acknowledgement of individuality.
He'd had the strength to choose his name when none had been given to him. To make him unique and special so that he might be more than a nameless soldier fighting on endless battlefields. So that he might be remembered if he fell.
Tears welled in Ahsoka's eyes at the last thought. Startled by her emotion, she brushed them away.
Ahsoka took several breaths, forcing herself to calm once more. She knew she needed the clone's help, but she didn't know how to go about getting it.
Dian'thy's advice echoed in her mind.
Be honest with him.
So far, he had been honest with her. She owed him nothing less than honesty in return.
His heart is very much like your own.
Was it? How could another being be as broken as her? But he did know grief like hers. He knew sadness and regret and pain like hers. Maybe Dian'thy was right after all.
After a moment, she straightened her shoulders and steeled her resolve. She palmed the entry control panel and stepped inside.
It was warmer than she'd expected, the result of several portable space heaters Waunado had setup as the weather had turned colder. She scanned the large space and caught movement against the far wall.
The clone had his back to her as he lifted and repositioned a heavy piece of machinery against the wall. His concentration was so intense he hadn't seen or heard her.
Ahsoka took a moment to study him. He looked less like a clone than when he'd arrived. His blond hair was longer and he had a beard now, both accentuating a masculinity she'd never thought to associate with clones. Of course, she'd never met a clone before him. She'd always thought of them as animals, less than human.
Ahsoka watched in fascination as he strained to lift another heavy piece of metal. He wore only his black bodysuit. Sweat had soaked through the back along his spine. Corded muscles in his shoulders and back bulged under the fabric. His breathing was labored and he grunted with the effort, the sound primal. He was mesmerizing.
As Ahsoka watched she was suddenly aware of an emotion — familiar but long repressed — sparking deep in her core.
Desire.
It began to swell inside her as she stared at the clone. His body was strong and powerful. His energy was confident and commanding. And he was so very male.
Ahsoka fought to tamp down her desire. She forced herself to look away in order to quell the feeling. In order just to breathe.
She willed her body and mind to calm. Finally, after several tense moments, she could breathe normally again. Ahsoka looked up, bringing her gaze back to the clone. Letting the door shut behind her, she cleared her throat to get his attention.