23 - A Mortal Life

The mysterious death of Father Dinario made headlines, especially when it was revealed he'd been found with a winged man, chained to a bed with a bullet hole in his chest. But after a while, the story faded. Soon the entire incident was all but forgotten, except by those affected the most.

Dean got more counseling, grief counseling this time. He mourned for Castiel so deeply it felt as though someone had scooped him out, leaving him dark and empty inside. He'd gotten back into the habit of praying every day to his angel. This time, that angel had a name. Sometimes, he prayed to Anna as well. It had taken time, but he'd learned not to be angry at her for not saving Castiel. She'd already risked so much for her friend. For all Dean knew, she was even now being punished for daring to finally explain things to Dean and his brother. She didn't deserve his anger. In time, he thought, he might even learn to be grateful.

Dean got a job as a bartender at Ellen's bar. To his surprise, he found he enjoyed the work. Best of all, any time some asshole went to far with Jo or any of the other waitresses, Dean could beat the shit out of them and not get arrested. Ellen, crafty as always, had listed his occupation as "bar tender/bouncer." Jody didn't seem to mind if Dean bounced people a little harder than might have been necessary.

The blooming romance between Ellen and Bobby was a source of joy for him. Ellen was good for Bobby. She deserved someone to love her.

When he found out Sam had risked his chance at getting an education and becoming a lawyer, Dean was furious. Fortunately, Sam was shocked to learn that someone had donated an anonymous scholarship to him. It covered the gap that his original scholarship didn't. Naturally, the big brainiac would do well enough to earn more by dazzling everyone with his brilliance. The nerd would become a lawyer. He'd have his dream, even if Dean did pretty much bankrupt himself to make that scholarship for him. Now when Sam called, he barely talked about his classes. He'd found someone, a beautiful Irish exchange student named Eileen. Sam was so smitten he'd even started taking lessons in sign language so he could communicate with her better. Dean couldn't wait to meet her.

All in all, everyone was doing well. They were happy. It was probably more than Dean had a right to ask for.

He was still working for Benny, but now his jobs were mostly protection. No point in over-working poor Anna any more than necessary. Was she still watching over him, now that Cass was gone? Maybe. Maybe not. Didn't matter. He'd be careful. He figured he owed her that much.

The seasons passed.

Dean shocked everyone by taking up jogging. Sam, naturally, acted like a bitch, wondering if Dean suffered a head injury or was perhaps possessed? Dean jeered at him, but now, as he jogged along, sweating under the summer sun, he wondered. They knew now for certain that angels existed. Heaven was real. What about Hell? Did demons exist? That was a terrifying thought.

He was so deep in disturbing thoughts of demons that he almost ran right past the still figure sitting on the playground bench.

Dean stopped so abruptly he came perilously close to faceplanting right on the jogging path. His head whipped around, zeroing in on the figure on the bench. "You're here!"

Anna smiled and beckoned him closer. Dean went, his eyes locked incredulously on the red-haired angel. He looked down at himself and blushed. "I'm, um, I'm all sweaty."

She rolled her eyes and gave a lazy gesture with her hand. Suddenly, Dean felt fresh and clean. "Neat trick," he said. "Worth drawing Heaven's attention?"

"Heaven is very much aware of my presence here, Dean," she said. "Come. Sit."

He sat next to her, giving her the once-over. She looked, he had to admit, pretty hot. The angel was wearing jeans and a button-down shirt tucked into them, emphasizing her slim waist. Her red hair fell in soft waves, framing the pale skin of her lovely face. Her wings were nowhere to be seen. If she hadn't just used her mojo on him, Dean would have thought she was human. He'd nearly panicked as it was, thinking she was exactly that, having been punished like Castiel for the crime of helping Dean. Apparently, Anna just wanted to blend in.

"How have you been, Dean?" she asked.

Dean blinked in surprise. Then he smiled. "Well, that answers one question I had. You're not still watching me. Good, I really did not have to explain some of what I have on my computer to you. Was bad enough when I found out that Cass looked at it."

She made a face. "I would prefer not to hear about that aspect of your relationship with my brother."

Dean laughed. "You sound like Sammy when you say that."

"Sam is a wise man." She looked at him, still smiling. "Physically, you appear healthy. Healthier than you were, in fact. You have less body fat, more muscle."

"Um, yeah." For some reason, Dean found himself blushing. "Been trying to get in shape."

"Good. Exercise is good for a human body."

"Yeah. To answer your question, I guess I'm doing alright. I miss Castiel. Every day. Sam was a bit freaked at first, thinking I might kill myself just so I could see him again. But honestly, there was no chance of it. Cass died trying to save me, you know. I feel like I owe it to him to try to preserve the life he saved."

"I'm glad you chose to live," Anna said. Her eyes were on a group of small children who were racing around on the sliding board. "There is much you still have to offer this world."

"What about you?" Dean asked. "You didn't get in any trouble for helping me, did you?"

"You could say that," she said evasively. "Dean, the reason I wasn't watching over you was because I was fighting. There was a war in Heaven."

"Oh." Dean didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry to hear that. War is hell, even in Heaven, I'd imagine."

She hummed. "We lost many angels, fighting among ourselves."

"What was the war over?"

"You."

Dean blinked. "Uh, what?"

"There were many reasons for it," Anna explained. "There has been dissension among the ranks for a long time, angels asking questions about the orders we were receiving. God had been largely allowing the archangels to run things. We hadn't seen him for quite some time. Heaven was a tinderbox, just waiting for a spark to set things off."

"And I was that spark," Dean guessed.

She nodded. "When Castiel was thrown down and cursed to a mortal life for the crime of loving you, even when there was no chance a nephalim could be formed? It set the stage for war. Angels were ready to fight. We only needed a leader."

"Wait," Dean called, awed. "Are you telling me that you led a war in Heaven?"

"Oh no," Anna laughed. "I was the leader of my garrison, but I didn't lead the war." She jerked her head, indicating the area behind them. "He did."

Dean looked, and his breath caught in his throat. Castiel was standing under a tree behind their bench, silently watching him as he spoke with Anna. He was dressed in his familiar suit and trench coat, but the great wings were gone. He looked like an ordinary man, an accountant perhaps, just resting in the shade of a tree on a warm summer day.

Getting up on shaky legs, Dean started towards him. As he drew close, Castiel smiled. "Hello, Dean."

"Hey, Cass!" Running the last few steps, Dean threw himself into the arms of his angel. Castiel held him back. His grip was firm, but Dean could somehow feel the strength, the power in the arms around him. He drew back. This time, he wasn't imagining the blue glow in Cass's eyes. "You're an angel again!"

"I am, yes," Castiel confirmed. "I was cursed to live a mortal life, and once it ended, I returned to Heaven as an angel. I suspect Michael believed that I would return chastened, ready to follow orders and be a good soldier once more. He never expected that I would encounter you during the course of that life, that my bond with you would only be stronger."

"Anna's doing," Dean confided. "She got us together."

"I know. Anna is a good friend."

Fingers were carding through Dean's hair. He closed his eyes, leaning into it. "I missed you so much, Cass," he whispered. "That's why you didn't come back? Because you were leading a war in Heaven?"

"I had to fight." Cass's eyes were their usual blue again, but now they looked troubled. "When his plan to control me failed, Michael decided to destroy you and imprison me. While I would gladly suffer Heaven's prisons for an eternity, I would allow no harm to come to you. So I rose up against him. I expected he would smite me down, but was resolved to die trying. I was stunned when most of my fellow angels rose up with me." He shook his head. "It wasn't easy. Raphael stood with Michael, and together, their power was immense. But Gabriel returned from wherever it was he'd been hiding the past few millennia and fought with us." Cass gave a low chuckle. "He actually scolded me, asking me why I took so long to, as he put it, 'take a swing at Mikey's smug face.' I will never understand my brother. But apparently, this is what he'd been waiting for. He'd been rebelling, in his own odd way, for some time now. But he couldn't stand against the other archangels unless he knew he had the support of the Host. When we rose up, he immediately returned. Now he is leader in Heaven, and both of our worlds are better for it."

Dean shook his head, feeling a little dazed. "So what now?" he dared to ask. "You go back to rule at his side?"

"That is the plan, yes," Castiel said, confirming Dean's worst fears. "But not until after you join me there."

"Uh, what?" Dean blinked. "You're taking me to Heaven?"

Cass laughed. "Only after you die a natural death, Dean. Hopefully a long time from now. Your life is now your own." Hopeful blue eyes searched his own. "I would be honored if you would let me live it with you?"

Dean breathed a sigh of relief. "Yes! You did say you were going to move in with me, after all."

"That's when I was still mortal."

"And you almost passed on sex with me over a bee puzzle."

"I still like that puzzle."

Dean swatted at him playfully. "What happened to your wings, anyway?"

"Oh, they're not on this physical plane," Cass explained. "I can look normal now."

"Mmmm…" Dean rubbed at his chin. "You don't look normal."

Castiel's face fell. "I don't? But I…"

Dean held up a hand to stop him. "You look like a normal person, yes," he explained. "But you don't look like normal you. Angel or not, you're this dorky, nerdy, wonderful guy who just happens to have big-ass wings growing out of his back."

"But people will stare," Cass said, looking down. "They'll call me a freak."

"Who gives a shit?" Dean caught the angel's chin, making Cass look up at him. "Listen to me. I said it before, and I'll say it again. You are who you are. And that's the man I fell in love with. I love your wings, Cass. They're awesome, just like you. And anyone who doesn't like it can go take a flying fuck at a rolling donut, ok?"

Something blossomed in the angel's eyes. "You like my wings? You think they're awesome? Really?"

"How many times do I have to say it? They're awesome, Cass. You're awesome. But it's your choice. If you feel safer hiding, then…"

The massive black wings suddenly appeared. Castiel smiled shyly at Dean, feathers fluffing. "How's this?"

Dean ran his fingers through the feathers, smiling as the angel hummed in pleasure. "Awesome."

THE END