DESTINY - CHAPTER 21
"I do not want you to go," T'annon whimpered, tears flowing down her cheeks.
Her words pierced Rex's heart like a blaster bolt. "I know," he said.
Rex slid across the cushion next to Ahsoka's fire and pulled T'annon into a hug. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and buried her face in his neck, her quiet sobs tearing Rex apart.
He looked to Ahsoka sitting next to them and saw her struggling to hold back her own tears.
Rex held T'annon for a long while. Eventually her crying dwindled and her breathing steadied. She pulled away and sat back on the cushions.
T'annon turned to Ahsoka. "Can you do something to make him want to stay?" she asked.
Ahsoka gave her a sad smile. "Rex didn't come to Axalon of his own free will like the rest of us. And after he arrived I didn't give him a choice whether to stay or return to his home. Rex needs to decide for himself where he wants to go, where he belongs."
Ahsoka reached out and took T'annon's hand. "I know it makes you sad. It's alright to be sad. But Rex will always be with you … right here." Ahsoka put her free hand over her own heart, then reached out and placed it over T'annon's. "Do you understand?"
T'annon nodded. "I understand."
Rex was beyond grateful for Ahsoka's patient soothing of T'annon, for her unwavering devotion to the young girl he'd grown to care so much about. He knew about devotion. He'd witnessed it every day between his brothers in the 501st. Yet, he felt humbled in the presence of the love Ahsoka had for T'annon, as if she were her own daughter.
Ahsoka shifted on her cushion, sitting taller and putting a smile on her face. Taking both of T'annon's hands she said, "I think it's time for you to enter my Yau Leh'ka."
T'annon's eyes grew wide and she gasped. "Really?"
Ahsoka gave her head a sharp nod. "Really."
"Oh, Ahsoka," T'annon said, bouncing on the cushions with barely contained excitement, "Yes! Yes, please!"
Rex had no idea what had just happened, but whatever it was, T'annon's mood had completely changed from tearful sadness to exuberant joy. He looked at Ahsoka and questioned, "Yau Leh'ka?"
Before Ahsoka could explain, T'annon interrupted. "Ahsoka has asked me to become a member her tribe."
Rex continued to look at Ahsoka, hoping for some clarity.
It took a few moments for T'annon's excitement to die down. When it finally did, Ahsoka explained.
"Yau Leh'ka is Togruti for tribe, or clan. But not like the clan here at Axalon. It's more intimate than that. Another interpretation is family. Togruta are tribal and live in extended families that are matriarchal. Clans don't include just biological relatives. It's common for the matriarch to invite other Togruta, or even other species, to become part of the clan."
Ahsoka put a hand on T'annon's shoulder. "Because I left Shili when I was very young, I had never learned about my heritage. After I left the Jedi, I spent time learning about my home world and my culture."
T'annon jumped in, still vibrating with enthusiasm. "Ahsoka taught me about the Yau Leh'ka. She was sad that she would never have one. I told her that I thought she should start her own clan and that I would be honored to be in it."
Ahsoka shrugged at Rex. "Who could argue with that logic?" She looked back to T'annon and smiled. "And you'll be the first."
Rex nodded, realizing that this was Ahsoka's way of softening T'annon's trauma around Rex leaving.
But it was more than that. Rex knew the importance of family across almost all species and cultures. Certainly, the commitment and love he felt for his brothers was no different than the commitment and love that defined the Togruta Yau Leh'ka. Ahsoka was making a life committment to T'annon — one that he knew only death would keep her from fulfilling.
"That sounds great," Rex said, smiling at both T'annon and Ahsoka. "Is there some type of ceremony or ritual?"
"Yes," T'annon said. "I get to look like Ahsoka."
Once again Rex was at a loss and looked to Ahsoka for an explanation.
"Traditionally, for non-Togruta, they receive a facial tattoo that identifies them with the matriarch of the clan. That makes it easy for any Togruta to know that a non-Togruta is part of a clan, as well as which clan they belong to."
"You mean, her whole face will be tattooed to look like your markings?" Rex said with surprise.
Ahsoka chuckled. "No. The tattoos are much smaller and represent only the major facial markings."
"I see," Rex said. "I imagine you use a facial dermal laser." He hoped that was the case. Facial dermal laser kits were a standard component of most robust emergency med kits. They could both add the tattoo and remove it with ease.
"Yes," Ahsoka said. "Nothing primitive or painful. Standard dermal tissue modification."
"Sounds good," Rex said, relieved that T'annon's initiation wouldn't be painful, even though he knew Ahsoka would never have done anything to hurt her.
"Can we do it now?" T'annon asked eagerly.
"That's why I brought it up," Ahsoka said. "Rex, would you be willing serve as an official witness as T'annon becomes the first member of my Yau Leh'ka?"
Rex gave a solemn nod. "It would be my privilege."
Ahsoka stood and stepped over to a crate stacked against one wall. She opened it and pulled out a facial dermal laser kit. When she sat back down she held a tablet. She brought the screen to life and opened a file. An image of T'annon's face appeared with an overlaid tattoo pattern.
Just as Ahsoka had described, the tattoos were small and matched the major features of her own facial markings but didn't replicate all of them. There was a small chevron on each cheek, two small diamonds on each side of the forehead, two vertical lines in the middle of the forehead to the bridge of the nose. They were understated and tasteful. Rex was impressed with how good the white markings looked on T'annon's blue skin.
"What do you think, T'annon?" Ahsoka said.
"They are so beautiful," T'annon whispered, her voice awe struck.
"Shall we start?" Ahsoka asked.
T'annon just nodded, unable to pull her eyes away from the image on the tablet.
"Rex," Ahsoka said, "you've probably used one of these before. Would you help me set it up?"
"Sure," he said, grabbing the laser component of the kit.
Rex unfolded a metal frame until it was the shape of a helmet. It didn't enclose the head. Instead, the lightweight frame was a lattice, designed to sit over the head and rest on the shoulders. Dozens of micro-lasers were mounted on the frame, providing the device with the ability to direct laser beams anywhere on the head based on the program data from the tablet Ahsoka had used to design the tattoos.
"This will take about five minutes" Ahsoka said to T'annon, "and you'll have to sit very still. Are you ready?"
T'annon settled onto her cushion. "Yes," she said.
Ahsoka looked to Rex. "Place the device over her head. Make sure the shoulder pieces are tight."
Rex gave her a quick nod. He knew exactly what to do since he'd worked with this type of device before, helping medics do triage after battles. Once the device was in place to his satisfaction he said, "It's ready."
"Here we go, T'annon," Ahsoka said. "Counting down from three. Three … two … one … now."
As the lasers did their work Rex fought to stifle a chuckle. T'annon sat rigid and stoic, barely breathing. He hoped she didn't pass out from lack of oxygen before the process was finished.
He shot a sidelong glance toward Ahsoka and the look on her face tightened his throat. She was staring at T'annon, her expression an unmistakable mixture of pride and love.
For the first time in a long time, Rex afforded the universe with his approval. It had brought Ahsoka and T'annon together. Two beings of light and beauty, gifts to each other and everyone around them. Beings who'd each had their childhood and family stolen from them; Tannon's by slavers and Ahsoka's by the Jedi. Yet, despite the vastness of space and time, they had found each other, and in doing so, had found their family.
The tablet beeped and the lasers powered down. Rex brought his attention back to T'annon and lifted the frame off her head.
Ahsoka flicked on the reverse camera function of the tablet and handed it to T'annon who gasped as she saw her new tattoos. "What do you think?" Ahsoka asked.
"They are … beautiful," T'annon said, quietly. She looked up at Ahsoka. "Thank you, Ahsoka. Thank you so much."
"You're welcome," Ahsoka said. "There's one more thing I must do to bring you into my clan."
"I know," T'annon said, nodding her head. "The commitment vow."
"Vow?" Rex asked.
"The matriarch recites a vow of commitment to the new clan member," Ahsoka explained. "It's a fairly simple but important part of the ritual. I'll recite it in Basic, except for Yau Leh'ka which you already know the meaning of, and agu meh'a, which means old woman or wise woman. That's me - the matriarch."
"Wise woman, that I can see," Rex said, smiling at her. "Old woman, not so much."
Ahsoka smiled back, then turned to T'annon. She stood and grasped T'annon's hands, pulling her to her feet. Rex stood quietly to the side.
Ahsoka cleared her throat, speaking words with reverence and conviction.
"I am agu meh'a.
I am Yau Leh'ka.
Yau Leh'ka is blood.
Yau Leh'ka is breath.
Yau Leh'ka is mind.
Yau Leh'ka is spirit.
Yau Leh'ka teaches.
Yau Leh'ka protects.
Yau Leh'ka heals.
Yau Leh'ka loves.
We are Yau Leh'ka."
Ahsoka leaned down and gave T'annon a long hug. Rex felt the lump in his throat get a little larger.
As Ahsoka rose and started to step back, T'annon didn't release her grip. "Wait," T'annon said.
"What?" Ahsoka asked.
"I want to say something to you. Something that I just learned."
"Alright," Ahsoka said, her tone unsure.
T'annon glanced at Rex, then looked up at Ahsoka and took in a long breath. Her small voice rang out.
"Home is where two or more are gathered."
Ahsoka let out a gasp and Rex saw the shock on her face. Then tears began to fall, unhindered. As confusing as it was, he could tell her tears weren't of sadness, but of joy.
Ahsoka dropped to her knees in front of T'annon, still gripping her hands. She closed her eyes and bowed her head toward T'annon, who placed her forehead against Ahsoka's.
After several shaky breaths, Ahsoka responded.
"It is good … to be home."
Rex stood quietly next to the fire as Ahsoka and T'annon held onto each other. After several minutes Ahsoka finally pulled back. "Thank you, T'annon," she whispered. "Tell me, where did you learn that?"
"The holonet," T'annon said. "After you told me about being afraid, I wanted to know what happened to your home world. It was terrible. I am sorry, Ahsoka."
Ahsoka nodded and gave T'annon another quick hug. Then she sat back on her cushions and wiped the remnants of tears from her face. She looked at Rex and let out a small chuckle, followed by a hiccup. "You probably wonder what that was about," she said.
Rex sat on a cushion, shrugging his shoulders. "I'm a little curious."
"After Shili was destroyed, those Togruta who were off world had no home to return to. One of our spiritual leaders began to teach that for Togruta, home could never again be a place. Instead, home was where two or more survivors were gathered. The call and response you just heard took root and now is an important part of my culture." She glanced at T'annon and corrected herself. "Of our culture. For T'annon to have said that to me …"
Ahsoka's voice choked to a hault.
"I understand," Rex said. "We clones have a saying. Kandosii sa ka'rta, vode an — one indomitable heart, brothers all."
"Ahsoka?" T'annon's voice was tentative. Rex turned along with Ahsoka to look at her.
"What about Rex?" T'annon asked.
"What about Rex?" Ahsoka said, giving her a puzzled look.
"He is family too. Can he become part of our Yau Leh'ka?"
Rex saw the same surprise on Ahsoka's face that he felt. Before Ahsoka could answer he stepped in. "Thank you, T'annon. That means a lot to me. But I'm going away and we may never see each other again."
"That should not matter," T'annon said. "Sometimes family must be apart. But they are still family." Turning to Ahsoka, she said, "I know that Rex is important to you, too."
Ahsoka gave Rex a wide-eyed look for a moment, then switched her gaze to T'annon. "I … ah …," she stuttered, obviously struggling to find the right words.
"Please, Ahsoka," T'annon pleaded.
Rex sat uncomfortably as Ahsoka brought her gaze back to him for a long moment. Then she asked, "What do you want, Rex?"
What did he want? Rex pondered her question for a moment. What he wanted was to turn that question on its head and ask it of her. But he'd tried that before and she'd skirted the issue. He knew if he asked again the result would be the same.
What did he want? He wanted anything that would ease T'annon's pain and make his abandonment of her something she wouldn't hate him for.
"I'd be honored," Rex finally said.
T'annon squealed in joy and lunged at Rex, giving him a hug. Then she turned and did the same to Ahsoka. "I never thought I would have a real family. But today, I finally do."
Rex scratched nervously at the back of his neck. "So, I guess this means I get a tattoo."
"Yes," T'annon said with excitement. "Then everyone will know you are my brother."
"So, what's next?" he said.
Ahsoka looked disquieted, as if something was bothering her. He remembered that if he concentrated he might be able to sense her feelings. He relaxed his mind and allowed himself to be open to the Force.
Sure enough, a strong connection with Ahsoka pulsed within him. He sensed emotions warring inside her, though he couldn't pinpoint exactly what they were. But he clearly felt her indecisiveness, as if Ahsoka were standing at a portal, struggling with whether or not to walk through. After a few moments the struggle grew quiet, replaced by a calm acceptance.
Ahsoka picked up the tablet. "Give me a minute while I program the laser," she said.
While T'annon leaned over Ahsoka's shoulder to watch her work on the tablet, Rex placed another log in the fire pit. A hint of anxiety fluttered in the back of his mind, so he walked around the small hut, stretching his back and legs, trying to keep the niggling feeling at bay.
"Done," Ahsoka said.
T'annon let out a happy squeak. "Wonderful," she said.
Ahsoka stood and held the tablet out to Rex. He saw his own head, the tanned skin of his face overlayed with a simple light gray tattoo. It was identical to T'annon's except for the addition of four small crescents running down from his forehead to the bridge of his nose.
"That's an interesting pattern," he said.
Ahsoka reached for the tablet. "I can change it if you don't like it."
Rex held the tablet away from her. "No, that's not what I mean." He turned the tablet one way, then tilted it another as he continued to study the tattoos. "I like it," he said, nodding his head. He handed the tablet to Ahsoka.
"If you change your mind, they're easily removed," Ahsoka said.
"I cannot wait to see you with them," T'annon said.
Rex picked up the dermal laser head frame and adjusted it to fit him. He lowered it over his head and Ahsoka stepped close to make the final adjustments and secure it over his shoulders. Her lekku ghosted against his chest and her familiar scent of spice, earth and smoke filled his nostrils. He forced his hands to not reach out and pull her to him.
Stepping back, Ahsoka checked her work and then nodded her approval. She picked up the tablet, made a few adjustments, then said, "Are you ready, Rex?"
"Ready."
"Activation in three. Three … two … one … now."
Rex remained motionless and closed his eyes as the soundless lasers tickled his skin, marking him as a member of Ahsoka's clan. If only that were true, instead of a convenient way to absolve himself as the source of a little girl's grief.
Before he realized it, the tablet beeped and the tickling on his skin stopped. He opened his eyes and lifted the frame from his head.
T'annon clapped her hands together. "It is perfect," she said. Rex gave her a smile and shifted his attention to Ahsoka.
She stood, frozen in place, staring at him. She didn't stir, didn't blink. Her eyes were wide and her mouth had dropped open, whether in wonder or horror, he couldn't tell. Rex wasn't even sure if she was breathing.
As the silence stretched out Rex could tell even T'annon was becoming uncomfortable. To break the tension he said, "Is it that bad?"
Ahsoka snapped her mouth shut. "No," she finally whispered. She shook her head which seemed to snap her out of her stupor. "No," she said with more conviction. "It's … right."
Ahsoka handed Rex the tablet. He activated the camera and examined her work. "The tattoos look more intricate than the mock-up, and the color blends in better with my skin." He tilted the tablet to get a different perspective. "I have a lot of brothers with tattoos. I always wondered what I'd look like with one. Now I know."
"Do you like them?" T'annon asked.
"Yeah," he said, rubbing his hand over face. "Yeah, I think I do."
T'annon took the tablet from Rex's hand and said, "All that remains is for Ahsoka to recite the commitment vow."
Rex turned to Ahsoka. He saw her swallow hard and sensed her nervousness. But there was a half-smile on her face and though she seemed tense, he didn't sense any distress.
Ahsoka closed the distance between them, stepping close enough that Rex had to tilt his head down to look at her. She held out her hands and Rex took them in his. They stood quietly for a while and Rex was captivated by her impossibly blue eyes.
Ahsoka took a breath and recited the vow.
"I am agu meh'a.
I am Yau Leh'ka.
Yau Leh'ka is blood.
Yau Leh'ka is breath.
Yau Leh'ka is mind.
Yau Leh'ka is spirit.
Yau Leh'ka teaches.
Yau Leh'ka protects.
Yau Leh'ka heals.
Yau Leh'ka loves.
We are Yau Leh'ka."