Title: Hope
Summary: Edwina's first ball after her scandalous first season doesn't go as planned.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything.
'Miss Edwina, have I told you about my nephew?' asked Queen Charlotte seemingly out of the blue.
The young woman, Edwina Sharma turned toward her queen.
'He's a prince,' commented the older woman as if that was supposed to clarify something which Edwina still didn't comprehend and so she gave the woman a polite nod and smile.
Just as she was about to turn away the queen spoke again causing her small smile to drop and a look of surprise to appear across her gentle face.
'And he is available.'
'Oh,' Edwina let out as the precious earring slipped from between her fingers and onto the floor.
'Everything alright, my dear?' asked her beloved mother as she just entered her room to come to see if she needed any help.
Edwina offered her a soft giggle that didn't really serve to ease any of them, 'I'm just a bit clumsy today, I'm afraid.'
Mary offered her daughter a tight smile as she was not very good at hiding her own anxiety from the younger woman.
She reached down for the tiny lost earring and while Edwina kept her eyes on her reflection in the large mirror opposite her, her mother put the jewelry on the woman's ear where it belonged.
'Beautiful as always,' whispered her mother carefully brushing her back and smiling at her happier than a moment ago.
Edwina's smile grew as well, but the worries that were settled deep inside her didn't leave her. It wasn't like she didn't go over the things that happened last season. In fact, for a while, she even found peace and contentment in the fact, that her beloved sister Kate found her own happiness. There was no malice or regret in the woman's heart, as Edwina understood just how mismatched she and Anthony Bridgerton were. Looking at the handsome man and her equally beautiful sister she could see she never had a chance against such deep and passionate love, and she was glad that fate served its course and the two ended up together.
She was less happy about how it all went down, but she supposed sometimes there was no other way to achieve happiness, but to survive some grief. She believed that if there was a person on this earth who never experienced loss or sadness, he would be a very shallow person indeed.
However, despite her support and sincere happiness for her sister, Edwina couldn't help but feel growing anxiety over the course of the last couple of days knowing soon she would be right back where she started standing in the ballroom surrounded by the ton and labeled with everything that happened last season.
The notion left a bittersweet taste inside her mouth and a crushing knot inside her stomach every time she thought about it. It was in the past of course, but the aftermath was still very much present, and Edwina never felt it more than when she was walking through the ballroom catching every time her name was whispered and feeling every look cast her way.
Perhaps all of that she could survive. After all, even if Kate was not there by her side, she still had her mother and the Queen. No one could ask for more support.
Even if she did not feel her best self, she managed most of it until she ended up in the presence of Miss Cressida Cowper and a few other young ladies.
'Miss Sharma, so good to see you,' said the blond woman overly enthusiastically which started an alarm inside of Edwina's head to go off.
'It is good to see you too, Miss Cowper,' she replied politely and started to look around for anyone else could use to excuse herself. She did not enjoy the presence of the gossipy young woman before, but tonight she despised it more than ever fearing she was on edge since the moment she entered the ballroom.
Her eyes for a second caught some movement behind one of the large French windows of something dark blue and a face that was looking at her, but perhaps it was just the play of the light and her imagination.
'To be quite honest with you, we were all surprise to hear you would come at all,' said Cressida causing the woman to flinch and return her gaze to her feeling the knot inside her stomach tighten, 'W-why would you assume that I would not?'
The taller woman gave her a malice smirk signaling they both knew why she would assume such a thing and given how some of the young ladies around them giggled and others averted their gazes, Edwina only felt worse.
After a couple of more minutes in Cressida's presence and Edwina felt like she lost the ground underneath her feet. She felt like she was falling and there was no one to catch her. No queen to serve as a shield from anyone who would wish to insult her or make fun of her. No mother, who would assure her it would be alright. No Kate who would take her away and take hold of the situation. Suddenly Edwina Sharma felt like a child again without anyone to tell her what to do, what she could do, or what they expected from her, and without such things she didn't know who she was.
'I-if you would excuse me,' she managed to get out hearing just how breathless her own voice was as she felt she was losing her breath. She didn't hear their mocking laughter or comments or at least she told herself she did not.
Air
She needed air.
Her panicked dark eyes scanned the room, but she couldn't see anyone who could have seen her desperation and offered help.
She started to walk toward one of the large glass entrances. It was her only choice. The whole ballroom was stuffy, and the closer she got the more assured she became, she just needed to get outside and breathe some fresh night air.
Someone opened the door, and a couple of gentlemen were coming inside laughing and smelling like tabacco which only made poor Edwina want to vomit right there and then, but she held it in swallowing hard and pushing everything she had for dinner back inside while she finally reached the outside.
However, despite her belief, no relief came from the cold night breeze.
Kate's accident and the uncertainty of if she will wake up and they would ever mend their relationship
Kate's hurt look when she acted so poorly toward her
Their mother's worry and sorrow
Father's disappointment
It all came crashing down on the poor woman and before she knew it, she started to run.
Away from the ballroom full of whispers, glares, and mocking looks.
Away from the queen's look of pride that should have told her that she was worthy and made her feel that way
Away from her mother who always told her all would be alright, and she wasn't to blame herself anymore.
Away Cressida Cowper.
Just away, away, away.
She caught up to a tree far away from the house inside the dark, but still not as far that she wouldn't see the lights to know her way back.
Her arms hug the tree as she panted trying to catch her breath which seemed to be impossible. Panic settled in and her gloved hands started to desperately reach for the back of her dress trying to get it to open so she could breathe at last.
Her pants mixed with her sobs as she was failing in her panicked state to reach for her dress until she tripped over something perhaps herself and ended up on the ground with a startled cry.
She couldn't breathe.
Shaking on the ground Edwina tried again to get the horrible restrictive dress undone but couldn't do so.
She could see it all so well. It crushed her all the same as if there was a gigantic rock on top of her chest that punished her by refusing to allow her to breathe.
All that hurt and sorrow she caused because she didn't see what was in front of her. Because she was so set on teaching Kate and Anthony a lesson. Because she wasn't-
-suddenly a pair of gloved hands brought her hands into her lap,'Please, Miss Sharma, allow me.'
Edwina barely understood those words the thick accent and her own panic clouding her earshot and mind.
Her wide dark eyes blinked as she felt the hands in a quick notion undo the back of her dress and then took a hold of her arms again, 'Breathe. It's alright, Miss Sharma. Just breathe. Yes, very good. Just like that.'
With the lack of anything else to hold onto, she did as she was told.
Her eyes closed, and despite everything, she started to calm down and breathe. To feel the cold breeze on her back served perfectly to help her calm down and the voice with the thick accent continued to speak so nicely supplying the young woman with nothing but words of support and praise on how well she was doing even if all she was essentially doing was trying to breathe and calm down.
It felt like a long while but ultimately the youngest Sharma woman felt relief from finally being able to breathe and the horrible realization of the reality started to get to her.
She tensed which must have caught the attention of her savior who politely if a bit nervously cleared his throat and spoke, 'It's quite alright. I won't hurt you. You have the word of the Prince of Prussia.'
Edwina's eyes widened once more and before she could stop herself she turned a bit to look at his face.
It was dark. They were quite far from the house, but she could still see the features and lines of his handsome face as well as note that the color of his hair was golden.
Prince Friedrich of Prussia.
Queen Charlotte's nephew
Since the end of last season, the Queen practically wrote tributes to the man about his honor, bravery, and looks. She was not subtle at all in how she believed he and Edwina could have been a good match something the young woman herself was reluctant to accept as she still held the bitter taste of being wrong the first time in the depth of her heart.
Edwina swallowed realizing just how completely scandalously inappropriate this was and quickly turned away her face heating up and her panic returning for a completely different reason.
'Please do not panic, or you might cause yourself harm again Miss Sharma,' spoke the prince sounding genuinely worried, 'I-I promise I would never do anything to harm you, and as far as we are concerned we are here alone so this might as well stay between us.'
Edwina realized she hadn't said anything to the man since he came to her aid, and honestly wasn't sure what she could say, but somehow she allowed herself to nod.
'I will help you with your dress, but I think I will have to help you up first. Is that acceptable for you?' he asked, and if nothing else Edwina could clearly hear he was nervous and genuine in trying to be respectful to her.
She nodded again.
There was a momentary pause before she heard a soft, 'Forgive me,' then those gloved hands reached toward her waists causing her to let out a small, startled gasp.
It lasted less than a second, and the young woman was back on her still a bit unsteady feet with the prince behind her, 'Should I keep it lose a bit this time?'
Edwina shot him a confused look, and the man looked at the ground swallowing hard, 'Uh, your dress, I mean.'
'N-no, no, uh, someone might notice,' she said and turned her back to him again.
She sensed he shifted a bit, perhaps nodded, and stepped closer toward her his voice very soft again, 'As you wish, Miss Sharma.'
His fingers were far less quickly than they were in undoing her dress. She felt them shake, and he must have missed a few buttons a few times because she sensed he started over at one point.
'Uh, all done, forgive me that it took a while,' he said and took a step back which Edwina took as her moment to turn around and look at him.
Tall
It was the first thing that crossed her mind as she now saw him standing up on full display in front of her. He was handsome and tall, and as horribly inappropriate basically reputation-ending as this situation was, she knew about herself that she very much liked tall men.
For a moment neither of them said anything just watched one another in silence.
Finally, Edwina looked away and said, 'Thank you for your help. You are truly very kind, Your Highness.'
She sensed him nodding before he spoke, 'You're very welcome. Are you well now? I can find your mother or someone else discreetly if you wish.'
'No!' she almost screamed before she tried to cover her mouth but stopped the mild way, 'I mean, please do not bother anyone. I am well now. I do not wish to worry my mother. It was just…'
She glanced away for a second and let out a short, nervous and breathless giggle, 'Memories of the previous season were not kind to me.'
'I see,' he said and when she looked at him, he had a small smile on his face, 'I, too, did not survive my previous season without some regrets.'
Edwina felt her lips pull into a small smile sensing something close to a kindred spirit in the prince at that moment.
'But either way, it all turned out well, I suppose. We cannot dwell on the past,' she said as she felt once again, they ended up looking at each other far too long, and she felt the need to look away.
The Prince nodded, 'You are not wrong, Miss Sharma. Sometimes we might even be thankful for the sorrow and regret. Without it, we would not have been…here.'
In this moment
Edwina rose her dark eyes to look at him trying not to read too much into his words. She already burnt herself once pushing her own affection and feelings on someone else. This time, she wished for honesty above anything else.
'We should return. Someone might notice we are missing,' she said knowing that was the appropriate thing to do even if somewhere inside the woman wished they could stay here for a little longer and talk about absolutely nothing at all.
The man nodded, 'I will walk you closer and then leave you to go inside first.'
'Thank you, Your Highness.'
'However,' said the man just as Edwina was about to take her first step, 'I cannot allow you to leave without saying that the moment you enter the ballroom, I would very much so like to seek you out for a dance.'
Edwina watched him for a moment taking him in.
He seemed nervous, but perhaps even excited, it caused her own heart to speed up, 'Do you wish to court me, Your Highness?'
'Yes, very much so, Miss Sharma,' he said, and even in the dark, his smile was radiating causing Edwina's whole body to feel warm. It wasn't unpleasant. To be completely honest, it was the first time, she felt this way since she learned the truth last season.
Her eyes shifted toward the tree, 'You do not have to do so only because-'
'Yes, I do,' he cut her off firmer than he spoke before, 'Only a man without honor would not.'
She went to argue, but he cut her off again, 'But I assure you, I would have asked for a dance either way.'
He smiled again, and Edwina really wished they were somewhere with more light so she could fully take the smile in, 'My aunt wrote me about you quite a lot, and I must say she was not exaggerating about your beauty. That being said, I would like to find out on my own if she was true to the depth of your kindness and honesty, and character. So far, I am nothing but pleased.'
Edwina felt something happening inside her again, but it wasn't the pesky knot of anxiety from before. Not at all.
The Prince looked shy for a moment, 'No matter how rude and inappropriate, when I saw you were in distress, I could not bring myself not to seek you out and help. Therefore, I hope you can forgive me for bringing you into such a situation.'
Edwina watched the man in stunned silence. It felt too good to be true, did it not? Did she not promise herself, that she would never be the same naïve young woman she was before? Yet, looking at the Prince even in the dark, she could not help but feel something she had not since the first time she realized the truth about Kate and Anthony, hope.
Hope for a true love
'I think…I think it will depend on how good of a dancer you are, Your Highness,' she finally managed to say and smiled, 'The Queen spoke very highly about you as well.'
'Then, I believe it is settled,' he said motioning for her to start walking.
Edwina did and watched as the taller handsome Prince matched her steps, 'Not quite.'
The man looked at her and even in the dark, she could see he was puzzled.
She had to fight off the smirk, but somehow, she managed and said, 'If you wish to court me, Your Highness, you must first talk to my sister Kate. Viscountess Bridgerton.'
The End
A.N: Thank you kindly for reading. English is not my first language so I apologize for the bad grammar and the mistakes. I hope you and your loved ones are safe. Have a nice day