(A/N: The last time my brother played "Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga", I got some inspiration. This story will show us what happened if Mario learned that Peach hadn't lost her voice ahead of time, and how he came to find out.)

It was a sunny day in the Mushroom Kingdom, but everyone's favorite hero, Mario, was getting ready to set off to the Beanbean Kingdom with his worst enemy, Bowser. They were going after the fiend who had somehow stolen Princess Peach's beautiful voice. Their plan was to destroy the person responsible, and recover the stolen voice. However, Bowser was still planning to kidnap Peach as soon as she got her voice back.

Right now, Mario was in the plaza outside of Peach's Castle while Bowser had gone to his Koopa Cruiser, which would take them to the Beanbean Kingdom in no time. Mario was supposed to stretch out and warm up in the plaza, but he wasn't. It seemed that he was trying to leave.

"Mario! Bowser isn't that way!" a Toad in the plaza said to the plumber.

"Lo so. I know." Mario replied, still trying to leave.

"I've been trying to tell you he's not there! Don't you listen?" the same Toad asked.

"Yes, but I'm not looking for him right now." Mario said, again trying to go back to the castle.

"You know what? You're a real pest! And guess what else? You still can't go that way!" the now frustrated Toad said.

Mario was beginning to feel frustrated, too.

"Okay, do you want to know why I'm trying to leave the plaza and not look for Bowser right now?" Mario asked.

"As a matter of fact, I would. So please tell me why." the Toad said.

"Devo andare. I have to go." Mario said.

"I know you do, and I know where. To the Beanbean Kingdom, with Bowser, to get back Princess Peach's lovely voice." the Toad replied.

"That's not what I mean. I mean that I have to go to the bathroom." Mario answered.

"Oh. Right, people sometimes refer to that when they say they have to go." said the Toad. He hadn't thought about that fact. Then he said, "Wait a second. Doesn't Bowser have a bathroom on his Koopa Cruiser? Why don't you find him and ask to use the bathroom on his ship if you have to go?"

Mario thought for a moment, then crossed his arms and frowned.

"What's the matter?" the Toad asked, noticing the way Mario looked.

"This is Bowser we're talking about. Do you really think he's actually going to let me use the bathroom on his ship?" Mario countered.

"Why wouldn't he? When you gotta go, you gotta go. If you're working with him, he'll have to let you use his bathroom." the Toad said.

"If I have to use the bathroom, Bowser won't care. You know as well as I do that he's mean and nasty, so he might tell me to hold it in, even if it's un'emergenza vasino, a potty emergency. And if that's the case, he'll most likely assume that I'm going to have explosive diarrhea while I'm in there so I can smell up his whole ship. He'd rather let me have an embarrassing accident than let me use his bathroom for maybe one time." Mario replied.

"What? That's ridiculous!" the Toad exclaimed.

"The part about him refusing to let me use the bathroom, or the part about me smelling up his bathroom?" Mario asked.

"Both! If you're going to work together to get Peach's voice back, he should let you use his bathroom. And there's no way you'd go and smell up his bathroom!" the Toad exclaimed, before asking, "Would you?"

"No, but even if I did have explosive diarrhea, it wasn't my fault. But I can think of something much worse than that. What if Bowser does let me use his bathroom, but right before I can relieve myself, a Jumping Piranha Plant comes out of the toilet and tries to bite me?" Mario asked. The last thing he needed was a Piranha Plant biting him on the butt, or... biting off his... you-know-what...

"No way!" the Toad gasped, shocked.

"I wouldn't put it past Bowser to hide one of those things in the potty, and I know for a fact that he'd do it just to get revenge on me for being the man Peach fell in love with. Can you imagine what would happen if he did that?" Mario asked.

The Toad thought for a moment before answering, "Then you'd be in excruciating pain, and there would also be a big mess in there that needs cleaning up. And even though the whole thing would be the enemy's fault, Bowser would go right ahead and pin the blame on you because he hates you. It'd be no wonder he allowed you to use the bathroom."

"Also, if the enemy attacked me... you-know-where... I wouldn't be able to marry Peach. She'd need to marry a man who can help her produce heirs to the throne, and I wouldn't be able to..." Mario said, feeling a little sad at the thought.

"You're right about that. And knowing how close you and the Princess are..." the Toad realized. It would kill Mario and Peach to not marry when they loved each other more than their own lives.

"Esattamente! Exactly! Now may I please use one of the bathrooms in the castle? I can't hold it in forever, you know." Mario said.

"After what you just told me, go right ahead." the Toad replied, allowing Mario to go back into the castle.

Mario quickly made his way back into the castle and started looking for the bathroom on the ground floor. He knew there was a bathroom on that floor, as that was the one he and Luigi used when they came here for parties, but they mostly ended up using the bathroom attached to their guest room, which was on the second floor of the castle.

"Let's-a see... Where is the ground floor bathroom?" Mario asked himself as he walked down the hall on the ground floor of the castle.

"Mario? Is that you?" a familiar, sweet-sounding voice asked.

Mario spun around. That voice... it couldn't have been Princess Peach's voice that spoke to him... could it?

"Who said that?" Mario asked, hoping the voice would speak up again.

"Mario! Thank goodness! You didn't leave yet! I was hoping to see you again before you had to leave!" Princess Peach said as she ran to the red-clad plumber and gave him a big hug.

"What?! Peach! Your... your voice...?! How...?!" Mario asked, completely stunned. He heard from the Toads that her sweet voice had been stolen and replaced with an explosive vocabulary! And he saw that it was true. But now it seemed that Peach had gotten her voice back! What was going on here?!

"I can explain, Mario..." Peach started.

"Tell you what: please help me find the bathroom here on the ground floor, and then you can explain what's going on when I'm done in there, okie-dokie?" Mario asked.

"Okie-dokie." Peach replied.

"Good. So, where's the bathroom?" Mario asked her.

"Open the door behind you." Peach replied with a giggle.

Mario opened the door, and there was the bathroom.

"Well, that's convenient. Grazie, principessa. Thanks, Peach." Mario said as he walked into the bathroom and closed the door.

While he was in the can, Peach decided to use that time to figure out how to word what she needed to explain to him. She was glad that he hadn't left the Mushroom Kingdom yet. She really wanted to ease his mind before he left.

"Unless she drank some sort of magic potion that gave her back her voice... I really don't know... I hope she can tell me what's going on." Mario thought as he relieved himself.

A few minutes later, Mario came out of the bathroom and said, "Okie-dokie. Now you can tell me what I need to know."

Peach took a deep breath and said, "Okay. A few days ago, I received a visit from Prince Peasley of the Beanbean Kingdom. He told me he had come to inform me that I would be receiving a visit from a witch who would be disguised as the Goodwill Ambassador of the Beanbean Kingdom. The witch's plan was to steal my voice."

"What for? Was she going to use your voice to hypnotize me into thinking she was you so she could marry me and have your soul?" Mario asked, referring to what Ursula the Sea Witch had tried to do with Ariel in Disney's "The Little Mermaid".

"No, but that actually was a pretty good guess." Peach said. She continued, "She needs my voice to awaken this thing called the Beanstar, which was put into a deep sleep to prevent it from granting evil wishes, because it can grant any wish, good or bad, and the witch has one great desire: to rule the world."

"Mama-mia... Why am I not surprised?" Mario sarcastically asked, referring to the witch's desire. Then he asked, "But why does this Beanstar need to hear your voice in order to wake up?"

"Simple. The Beanstar needs to hear a voice of great beauty, the voice of a pure and noble soul. And my voice happens to fit the bill." Peach replied.

"Well, I can't argue with that, Peach. You have the voice of un angelo, an angel." Mario replied.

Peach blushed, but she knew that she had to continue with the story, so she said, "Thank you, sweetie. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah. Toadsworth was with me when I was informed. We knew we'd have to do something, and we had to do it quick, so we went to work on a plan right away."

"Good idea. So let's-a hear about this plan." Mario said.

"It took a while, but we finally came up with a really good one that couldn't possibly fail. We met up with Birdo and talked her into disguising herself-" Peach started, but she was interrupted by Mario saying, "Himself."

"Himself?" Peach asked, confused.

"Last I checked, Birdo is a boy who thinks he's a girl." Mario said. (A/N: The manual for "Super Mario Bros. 2" (U.S.A. version) clearly states this. Even the NES Game Atlas referred to Birdo as a boy, although Birdo is now stated to be a girl.)

"Really? I always thought that Birdo was a girl. Maybe he had the operation to become a she and completely forgot to tell anyone about it." Peach said.

"Chi lo sa? Who knows if Birdo even did that yet?" Mario shrugged.

"No one knows for sure, I guess. Now we disguised Birdo as me, and he or she was the one the witch approached. So the witch ended up getting Birdo's voice, not mine, as you can tell. The Princess Peach you, Luigi, and Bowser saw and heard was not me." Peach assured Mario.

"Okay. I believe you, but the Toads didn't seem to get the memo. They actually think it's your voice that went missing. Didn't you tell them about what was going on? That they're really freaking out about the loss of Birdo's voice?" Mario asked.

"No, Mario, I didn't tell the Toads about the plan because Toadsworth suggested leaving them in the dark so it would be a lot easier to fool the witch into thinking that she had stolen my voice instead of Birdo's. Toadsworth and I were hiding right there in the room when it happened." Peach said.

"Do you plan to tell them the truth, Peach?" Mario asked.

"That was the plan, Mario. I was going to come out of my hiding place and tell them as soon as the witch left with the wrong voice in her grasp, but before I could come out and put their minds at ease, Bowser showed up, and I had to stay hidden. He just had to go and ruin my chance to tell you, Luigi, and the Toads what really happened. So I have to stay as quiet as a mouse until Bowser leaves. When he's gone, I'll come clean and tell them the truth." Peach promised.

"You know, while I'm glad that you and your sweet voice are okay, I'm feeling a little sad, Peach." Mario began.

"Why are you sad, honey?" Peach asked, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"I don't want to go with Bowser to try and recover something that the witch didn't get. I want to spend the rest of the day here with you, holding you close." Mario finished, giving Peach a hug.

"It's a tempting thought, Mario, but if you don't go to Bowser sooner or later, he'll be suspicious and wonder what's keeping you, and then he'll come here and find out what really went on. Guess what happens next? You'll end up having to save me from him, anyway. Besides, I think you might want to go with him. You guys can stop that witch from trying again if she finds out her plot failed, or at least prevent her from ever finding out that she never got my voice." Peach said, returning the hug.

Mario was quiet as he let go of his girlfriend and thought about her words.

"Good point. Okay, I'll go with him, but I won't tell him anything. I won't let him know that your voice is still in your throat, rather than in the hands of some cantankerous old crow." Mario said.

"That's my Mario." Peach smiled, giggling at the fact that Mario called the witch a nasty name.

"But can I at least tell Luigi the truth before I leave?" Mario asked.

"Yes, Mario. You can tell Luigi that my voice is safe, but that's it. I'll tell the Toads myself." Peach told him.

"All right. I'll be back later. Ti amo, mia dolce principessa. I love you, my sweet princess." Mario said as he hugged Peach again.

"I love you, too, Mario." a furiously blushing Peach replied, returning her boyfriend's hug.

Mario and the Princess shared a loving kiss before Mario left the castle and returned to the plaza, trying to look normal, so as not to give away that Peach was fine. Before too long, he spotted Luigi and whispered to him what he knew, before asking him to keep quiet. Luigi nodded and pretended to zip his lips and throw away the key. He understood the importance of keeping Bowser in the dark.

The adventure continued as we saw it, but Mario and Luigi weren't too worried about what happened to Peach's voice, especially when Peach showed up in the Beanbean Kingdom, because thanks to Peach, they learned the truth ahead of time.

The End

Okay, so that's that story. It's amazing how very different things could be for the Mario Bros. if Mario had found out what really went on before he left.