Wazzup.
Come howl at me, I'll be in AizenTheGoat's server. The code's https/discord.gg/c9k4V9Y4wa
"I don't know what to say, Naruto." Wonder Woman shook her head slowly.
Naruto shrugged. It wasn't like whatever she said would change anything.
He just finished telling her about Kurama's status, their relationship and what led to the tailed beast getting sealed in him as well as the consequences of the sealing and the woman looked a lot more distressed than he thought she would be.
"It doesn't really matter anymore." He shuffled a foot. "It was a long time ago and I'm over it now."
"But to grow in an environment like that." Wonder Woman pressed. "No child should have to endure such treatment. It's just wrong."
Naruto stayed quiet. "Well, I did. And as weird as it sounds, I'm a bit glad I didn't have a different life or even a happier one."
"Why?" She looked surprised that he'd say that.
"Because it's being in that situation that made me the person I am today. That led me to meet the people I know today." He said. "And I wouldn't change any of that for a better life."
If he hadn't been an outcast among his peers, Iruka wouldn't have approached him out of pity. The sand invasion would have never happened if his father was alive, meaning he wouldn't have met Gaara who, up till now, was still the best friend he had next to Kurama.
If he'd had a happy life and went on to become a ninja, the chances were that he'd grow up to be the typical Konoha nin. Powerful, but generic. And he hated that.
Wonder Woman gave him a small smile. "You turned out a lot better than most would in your situation."
"I like to think I did." Naruto smiled back.
"I imagine you are pleased that they've come to accept you now?" She asked.
"I don't really care what they feel about me." Naruto shrugged again.
"I thought you were happy that they seemed to like you after you defeated Pein."
"Well, I did. But imagine it like this, a guy you've never seen before walks up to you and tells you that you're his personal hero. You'd like it, wouldn't you? But you wouldn't exactly be bursting with joy."
"But at the same time, if he said he hates you, you might ask why, you might just say 'okay' or you might even be mildly annoyed. But it won't send you flying into a rage or make you cry, would it?"
"No, it wouldn't." Wonder Woman shook her head. "He's not relevant enough to me for his opinions to affect me."
"Exactly." Naruto snapped his fingers. "That's exactly how it is with me too. I don't care what they think of me because they just don't matter to me."
He had to give the old man kudos though, he had tried everything he could to give him a reason to be loyal to Konoha. From painting the citizens who hated him as innocent people who were simply just victims of grief and ignorance to telling him that if he fought to protect them, not only would he prove to them that he wasn't what they thought he was, but he would also earn their love.
And what greater protector was there than the hokage? But to become hokage, you first had to become a ninja.
To anyone else, it would have probably worked. But for him, who already hated them all, it did the exact opposite.
Why did he to amend for mistakes he didn't even make? Why did they all get to hate him and still be in the right while he struggled to make them forgive him for what he didn't even do? That wasn't fair at all. He had nothing to prove and nothing to be forgiven for.
When he found out that he didn't really have much of a choice as to whether or not to become a ninja, he just stopped caring. Nothing he felt about them mattered just as nothing they felt about him mattered.
Initially, he didn't even want to be a ninja. He wanted to leave Konoha and go travelling the world because not everyone in the world could hate him and even after becoming one, he never told anyone, but it was still his end goal.
"I'm sorry, I assumed you still wanted them to love you." Wonder Woman said.
"I only fought for them because I had to and just because it was morally right, not because of love or loyalty." Naruto shook his head. "And immediately after the war, I stopped really spending time in the village."
"I thought you had to."
"But I'm also the hero of the war and I hate to toot my own horn, but I'm pretty much the most powerful person in my world right now, both politically and physically." Naruto grinned. "My resignation is only for the sake of fulfilling all righteousness because everyone knows that if I wanted, I could just leave and never come back and nothing would happen."
"Make it legal? I thought they wouldn't do anything."
"They can still mark me as a defector." Naruto said. "It wouldn't really mean anything because well, saviour of the world, but I'd still be considered an outlaw even though nobody would try to take me in."
Even Killer Bee was still considered a missing nin because he technically defected and nobody did anything about it even though everyone knew he was still alive. He wasn't even trying to hide. He still went around spreading his rap music while dodging Kumo nin.
"Ah." Wonder Woman nodded.
"So what do you do in your world aside from this hero business?" Naruto asked.
Wonder Woman thought for a moment before responding. "I act as a curator of cultural anthropology and archeology."
"What does any of that mean?" Naruto looked lost.
"I'm a museum worker." Wonder Woman simplified, making a mental note to change what she called her job. Anyone would have to look up the meaning of the words to know she wasn't legitimate.
"What's a museum?"
"You don't have that in your world?" She looked surprised. Even Themiscryia had a place where the possessions of the most valiant amazons were stored and preserved so others would look at them for inspiration.
"Nope. What's that, another thing only technologically advanced places have?"
"No, it's a place where historical items are stored and displayed for public viewing." She said.
Naruto imagined the sage's five tools being hung on a wall for everyone to see. He'd had to threaten to take them from Tenten by force before she agreed to stop putting them on display to attract customers.
"And nobody steals them to sell?" He asked disbelievingly. Items that were probably worth a fortune were kept on display and nobody thought of stealing them? No way.
The only historical items of real value in the elemental nations were weapons and even they'd get stolen in less than a day after they were put on display.
"Measures are taken to prevent that." Wonder Woman said. "Some people still manage to bypass them but they are usually searched for. The ones that get caught are imprisoned and the ones who don't, well, that's that."
"So you still call yourself Wonder Woman when you're working?" Naruto asked, trying to learn her real name. "If people know you by that, wouldn't they easily connect the dots between you and your alter ego?"
"You could have just asked, you know." Wonder Woman smiled knowingly. "My name's Diana of Themyscira. But on earth, I go by Diana Prince."
"Diana, Diana." Naruto repeated the name. "I like it."
"Rolls off the tongue?"
"Not quite, it's just fun to say. Di-ana, dai-hana-nan."
"What was that last one?" Diana laughed.
""Don't worry about it, it's nothing important. My last name's Uzumaki." Naruto smiled at her.
"Nice." Diana raised an eyebrow. "Well, I told you about my other job so it's only fair you tell me about yours."
"Amazon and superhero by day, museum worker by night. Mine's bland compared to yours."
"If you were in my world, you'd know how untrue that is." Diana shook her head. "Your lifestyle is something many people fantasize about. Especially the young ones."
She blamed action movies for making life and death struggles look cool rather than frightening. Nicely choreographed, adrenaline inducing fights, music to get viewers fired up, fitting lines and the musculed main characters always looked very fine even after taking injuries that would decommission a normal person.
"Something's wrong if people really think going out and risking death, dismemberment and capture for money you might not even live long enough to get is a good substitute for their normal lives." Naruto said. "But yeah, I get it with the kids. Many of ours are like that too."
At least until their first real mission. Most who joined to live out a fantasy, quit after realising the real deal was hardly as tolerable as the tales people spun about ninjas.
"I blame television." Diana chuckled, getting a blank look from Naruto.
"Why are you blaming a television?" He asked.
"Because of the violent movies…" Diana trailed off when she saw Naruto's blank stare turn confused.
"Movies? What are those?"
"You know what a television is but not a movie?"
Naruto rubbed his chin. He hadn't seen a television used anywhere other than the cryptology department and the hokage's office and both served the same purpose of receiving Information, usually in code. Nothing more.
"No, I can't say I have." He shook his head finally. "What exactly are they?"
"Moving pictures. At least something of that sort." Diana said. She wasn't all that sure if it herself but that was the definition she found on the internet when she searched for it once. "It's usually done by recording actors and actresses and editing the footage."
"Ohh, I know what that is!" Naruto snapped his fingers. "I saw something like that in production during a mission to another country with my team. I even showed up in the…movie, right?" Diana nodded. "Yeah, I was in the movie."
Koyuki had invited him to watch the premier release of her recorded scenes and team seven's fight with Doto and his group and the movie had been a lot more interesting to watch than it had been to see in production. They even managed to get an actor to reenact the train scene. It wasn't moving as fast as it had been with him, of course.
"Really? Were you acting?" Diana asked.
"No, my team got hired to protect the main actress who turned out to be the next in line for the rulership of Snow Country. We had to fight her tyrant uncle and someone recorded it all somehow."
"That sounds like a foolish and dangerous thing to do, recording a fight that close to it." Diana frowned.
"Nothing happened to the guy." Naruto assured her. "In fact, nobody even knew he was there. Now that I think of it, it's weird that none of us did."
Diana blinked. Maybe the saying about the cameraman always surviving had some truth to it. "So, what was the fight like?"
Naruto didn't really know how to respond. Seeing himself and the others fight felt strange, almost as if it hadn't actually been him. There was a sort of tension that had been in the actual fight that was absent throughout the movie.
But he had mad moves!
"Ehh, it was weird. I mostly just focused on Kakashi's stuff more." He lied. "You should have seen him go." The man looked awesome when he destroyed an ice dragon with a chidori.
"Kakashi's in your team?" Diana asked.
"In it?" Naruto grinned. "He was our leader."
"Really?" Diana looked at the silver haired man who was somehow multitasking between reading a book, conversing with Superman and staring at Black Canary's behind. "I can't imagine someone like him leading a team. He strikes me as a slothful man."
"He is, but he's someone you can always rely on to get shit done." Naruto nodded. "And he's smart. Incredibly so."
His only gripe with the man was that he never taught them unless it struck him that there was something they didn't know that they should. Having spent enough time with the man to know more about him than most, he could see why.
Not only was he a genius who either learnt most of what he knew without being taught or made them himself, he spent years leading ANBU operatives: highly skilled people who all worked together like a well oiled machine even if they were completely unfamiliar with one another.
Saddling someone like him who'd never had to learn or lead any other way with fresh genin was one of the old man's worst mistakes.
"Never judge a book by its cover, I see." Diana looked at Kakashi again.
"Yeah." He nodded.
"Naruto." The two turned to look at Gaara.
"Oh hey, Gaara." He asked the boy.
"I'd like to start reading now."
"Okay, I'll let everyone know." Gaara nodded and left the two alone again.
"I don't think you need to. Superman and Kakashi seemed to have already heard him." Diana pointed at the Kryptonian and silver haired man who were already spreading the news.
"Alright, then. Continue this later?" He asked.
"Definitely."
…
Come to think of it, how did you learn to rap, Naruto?" Flash asked when they were all gathered again
Naruto gave him a surprised look. "What?"
"I'm kind of curious about it too." Green Arrow agreed with the speedster. "I thought music wasn't a big thing in your world, much less rap."
Black Canary sighed. Her fanmade theme song was a nice number before people decided a drill beat and a rap about her violently beating criminals would make it even better.
"I know a guy who's really into it. He practically started the rap stuff in our world and it's booming now." Naruto said. "You might not understand the lyrics but the beat and music are so catchy, most people probably don't even listen to them."
Green Lantern grinned and materialised a three piece suit and an axe. "But they should. Because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity and the importance of trends, it's also a personal statement about the band itself. Hey, Paul!"
"Aaaah!" Flash screamed.
"Try getting a reservation at Dorsia now, you fucking stupid bastard!" Green Arrow laughed. Lantern had even created the exact same speaker to blast out Huey Lewis and the news.
Black Canary couldn't help her grin but Superman looked like he swallowed a lemon. He hated that movie so much but Lois couldn't get enough of it for some reason and forced him to watch it with her all the time.
"I don't get it." Naruto shook his head and looked at Diana who shrugged. Neither did she.
"If you're done, I'd like Gaara to start reading." Batman spoke out.
"Don't ruin a good moment, Batman." Kakashi wagged his finger before flipping to another page in his book.
"I would prefer if we left here as quickly as possible."
"Why? It's not like there's any time being spent."
"Gaara, please read." Tsunade rubbed her forehead.
The screen appeared again as Gaara opened the book.
…
Chapter 4 - Let it go
"Let it go, let it go, can't hold it back anymore~" Flash sang and stopped when he saw the look he got from everyone. "What? It's a nice song."
"You're not such a bad guy after all, are you?" Naruto said.
"You did pay for my food and gave me the gold I asked for." Naruto nodded.
"You mean the gold you extorted me and Superman out of." Batman corrected.
"It wasn't extortion." Naruto sighed.
"Extortion is how he makes a living, you can't blame him." Green Arrow smirked.
"Thank y-wait what?"
"What's that supposed to mean?" Batman narrowed his eyes at him.
"Why are you offended? It's an obvious compliment?" Flash looked at the man.
"He extorted me out of over four million in gold and made me pay for his food after causing a ruckus by leaving the watchtower unannounced and going to Earth." Batman said. "I won't take anything he says without a grain of salt."
"You need to loosen up more, man." Green Arrow told the man. "Not everyone has an ulterior motive for doing good, even if it's just a compliment."
Instead of replying, the blond man slurped loudly on a large number of noodles at the same time. It was Wonder Woman that answered his question. "He means that behind your mean glare, there is a nice personality hidden."
"He actually is a real softy deep down." Black Canary snickered. "Robin told me he buys tons of junk food, movies and video games to have themselves a guys night every weekend."
"Aww." Green Arrow cooed jokingly. "That's so sweet."
Batman grunted annoyedly. Damnit, Dick!
When Naruto made a thumbs-up gesture at her showing that her words were spot on, Batman's glare intensified.
"I was only saying what I got, Batman." Wonder Woman frowned at the vigilante.
"He wasn't glaring at you, Wonder Woman." Kakashi pointed at the screen.
True to his word, Batman's glare was focused solely on Naruto who continued to eat as if a man capable of inflicting so much fear, a yellow ring sought him out, wasn't glaring at him.
"Gotta give your other self props, Naruto. I'd have crumpled like wet toilet paper if the man looked at me like that." Flash admitted.
"He's a space mercenary and bounty hunter. He's probably experienced scarier stuff than being on the receiving end of Batman's glare." Green Lantern folded his arms. The man never succeeded at intimidating him for that reason.
"I'm not sure whether to be impressed or worried for his mental health." Tsunade frowned.
"Boffum."
"What?" She looked at Green Arrow.
"Err, it's an Earth thing." The man tried not to let his eyes go down to her bust. He'd looked at it many times now, but it still amazed him to see it. How could they grow so big?
The four of them were currently in a Chinese restaurant in the Chinatown district of Boston. Batman had been the one to direct Naruto to that place after he asked if Earth had a dish known as 'ramen'.
"That's a mistake." Kakashi gave the man a pitying glance. While Naruto was frugal with his spending especially when it came to food, it was when he was treated to a meal that he let himself go nuts. Iruka stopped treating him to ramen after realizing how much money he was losing from doing so.
"What do you mean?" Batman gave the man a suspicious look. He could see that Naruto's other self was a glutton but he doubted the man's diet could put a dent in his wallet.
"He doesn't mean anything." Naruto glared at his former teacher. "I want to say a big thank you to your other self for helping me out with my food. It means a lot to me and I'll be grateful to you forever."
"I don't see why you like the stuff so much." Superman muttered. He knew it was the boy's comfort food, but that was way too much. "It doesn't even taste all that good."
"Oh, you take that back." Naruto spat with more venom than he knew he had.
"I won't." Superman said resolutely. "It's too salty and isn't all that nutritious."
"Too salty?" Flash asked. "Wait, you haven't had any other kind of ramen after the salt ramen you had with me and Arrow at Central City?"
Superman looked shocked. "You ordered salt ramen for me? Ramen flavoured to taste like salt?!"
"You said you'd have whatever we were eating." Flash defended himself. "It's not my fault that you couldn't read the menu."
"You should have told me!"
"You didn't ask. We thought you knew what we were asking for."
"You two only told the waitress you were having the usual!"
"Oh. Sorry." Flash rubbed his neck and his eye twitched when he heard Green Arrow snicker. If he was going down, he wasn't going down alone!
"But it's Arrow who makes the orders for us. I just eat whatever it is he orders because I don't understand the menu either and everything tastes good to me." He pointed at the shocked man.
"You snake! I knew you had low standards when you actually ate that shit!"
Diana had to admit, salt flavoured food sounded like a nightmare. She couldn't imagine eating something called salt ice cream or licking a salt popsicle.
Thus, thanks to Batman, he was now in the middle of inhaling his 12th bowl of ramen.
Batman didn't say anything. If the man was still eating that quickly even after that amount, it meant he was nowhere near full. At that rate, he'd be forced to use his card.
Even Batman's poker face began to falter at the sight of the ever-increasing mountain of empty bowls stacked on the table.
"Yeah, that's why we don't buy food for you anymore." Kakashi told the blond.
"It's not my fault that my metabolism's the way it is." Naruto frowned.
Kakashi couldn't help but agree. The boy ate enough to either look like an akimichi or Killer Bee if it all went to muscle building, but he never got any fatter.
In contrast, the ever-gluttonous fox was not eating. Kyuubi was lying stretched on his back in Wonder Woman's lap, letting out quiet growls of content from the belly rub she was giving him.
Naruto shook his head. Diana might have been blessed, but Kurama would never let someone do this to him. Was it because she was a woman?
"If I didn't know what the kyuubi was, I'd call it cute." Kakashi thought, morbidly amused. Konoha had nearly fallen and his teacher had lost his life at the hands of a natural disaster in the shape of a nine tailed fox that practically melted from getting it's belly rubbed
Finally, Naruto put down on the table the 12th empty bowl and exhaled loudly in bliss.
"I'm guessing a nap's next?" Green Arrow asked Naruto who raised an eyebrow.
"What? No. Who sleeps after eating anyways? That's asking for indigestion."
"It was just a joke." Green Arrow said unconvincingly. "Nobody does that."
"Are you finally done eating?" Batman asked.
"I hope so." Batman gave Naruto a pointed look.
Though his facial expression could not be seen due to his face being covered by his mask (even while he had been eating), everyone could hear the reluctance in his voice when he spoke.
"I would like to eat more...but it's enough for now. I can sense there are only 2 employees working in the kitchen at this late hour. I've already troubled them enough by ordering 12 bowls of ramen at once."
"Understatement of the century." Flash said. "You made them work past closing hours."
"I didn't know." Naruto looked guilty. He could imagine how it felt to look forward to going home, only to not just work overtime, but to do more work than you spent the whole day doing in one go.
"They probably won't get paid extra for it either since it's past closing hour." Green Arrow continued. "And since they let the fox in, they were breaking company policy, meaning they'll probably get fired after all that."
"Don't be a dick." Black Canary slapped his arm. "Don't worry, Naruto. Since it's past closing, Batman would pay them, not the company."
Batman sighed.
Batman and Wonder Woman looked at each other strangely. This guy was despicable enough to extort Superman of 4 million dollars but now he was worried about overworking 2 cooks at a restaurant? They did not know what to think of him.
"I didn't exto-"
"We know, Naruto." Diana patted him on the shoulder. "They're just joking with you."
"No I'm not." Superman shut up at Diana's glare.
"We're just joking with you, Naruto. Four million is the least we could give you for returning Superman to us." Flash gave the boy a thumbs up.
"We?" Batman raised an eyebrow.
"The Justice League." Flash pointed at all its present members. "We, us. We paid him through you."
Every superhero nodded in agreement, even Manhunter.
Kakashi choked down a laugh.
Right at that moment, an alarming news report came up on the tv installed above the counter.
"A dangerous hostage situation is developing at the Federal Building in Metropolis."
"Knowing my luck, it's Ultra Humanite." Superman's amused face soured.
"What's that?" Naruto asked.
"It-nevermind, I'll tell you later." Superman waved him off.
"So far, the Ultra-Humanite has refused to speak with negotiators. A freak of science, the Ultra-Humanite is reportedly a genius who is also extremely dangerous [...]"
"Hey, you were right." Kakashi noticed.
"Yay." Green Lantern cheered sarcastically.
Batman and Wonder Woman jumped up to their feet. But although the situation was urgent, Wonder Woman could not help being amused when she saw that the fox cub in her lap had not fallen off when she sat up.
"I'm beginning to think this is a running gag." Superman sighed. "How does he keep doing that?"
He was still sitting perpendicularly on her lap as if he was glued to her thighs. Still, she could not afford to play around at that moment. She took the fox in her arms and handed him over to naruto.
"If I could do that, I'd never take my head off your laps." Green Arrow told Black Canary who looked annoyed by the thought.
"For some reason, I don't fancy the thought of having to carry the weight of a man who weighs as much as you with my legs alone." She said. "No, I like you as you are: unable to stick your head to my laps."
"You could have just said no." He huffed. He wasn't heavy, it was all muscle.
"Do not fry this tracker if you want to get your gold tomorrow." Batman said and handed naruto a bat-shaped tracking device.
"By the way, if you need any help, I'm here. We can discuss the price later, based on contribution." Naruto offered while taking back a grumpy and unwilling fox from Wonder Woman's hands.
"Nothing like an impending conflict to advertise your services." Kakashi sighed happily.
"War is a merchant's delight." Superman said grudgingly. He didn't appreciate Naruto trying to make money from a hostage situation but he was coming to see things from the man's view.
Wonder Woman sighed when Naruto took Kurama away from her hands. She'd have probably insisted on keeping him with her for longer but she couldn't ignore the call of duty.
"No thank you," Batman said categorically. "We can handle this."
Green Arrow made a perfect impression of Morgan Freeman. "They could not handle it."
"Wow, I didn't know you could do impressions." Flash was surprised.
"It's a side hobby."
Then, turning towards the Amazon, he said. "Wonder Woman, let's go."
"A hundred dollars says Naruto goes to help anyway." Flash said.
Naruto looked unsure. "He did say he has it in the bag…and I'm not getting paid…"
"Naruto, we already know you would." Tsunade scoffed.
"But this is other me." He pointed out.
"The other Naruto's just you, but older. The hero complex is probably still there."
Naruto huffed. He didn't have a hero complex, he just really liked saving people.
…
" We don't need your help, he said. We can handle this, he said. Bwahaha!" Kyuubi laughed evilly from atop Naruto's shoulder.
"I'm guessing you got your asses handed to you." Flash said.
"It's kind of obvious, but why?" Superman looked surprised. "I fight Ultra Humanite so many times, it takes him getting some kind of never seen before upgrade to give me a hard time."
"Plot." Green Arrow said simply.
"What?" Superman looked confused.
Luckily, he and Naruto were conversing in their native language because otherwise, Kyuubi would have gotten into real trouble for making fun of the current situation like that.
"Now that's just unfair." Flash said. "They get to say whatever they want and nobody understands them."
"You have something similar." Green Lantern pointed out.
"I just talk faster than the human ear can process logically, that's not a language. If you recorded it and slowed it down a lot, you'd probably get me."
"So that time you were saying "asksjbrnhuuthffsik" to that pan helmet Flash, that wasn't gibberish?" Green Arrow asked.
"What? Of course not!" Flash looked offended. "I have a PhD, I don't speak gibberish."
In front of them, Batman was lying on his back on a bed in the Watchtower unconscious, his body a sweaty mess.
"What happened to him?" Diana asked worriedly.
"He got knocked out like a little bitch, that's what happened." Green Arrow muffled his voice with his hands but it didn't escape Batman who glared at him.
"Worldstar!" Superman cried out, getting surprised looks from Green Arrow and Flash. "There were too many curse words and slurs in the parody, but it was funny."
"He's not wrong." Diana admitted. "I don't like how I was portrayed though."
"You had no voice actress. What portrayal?" Green Arrow asked.
Answers in lack of voice actress* Diana's eyes widened when she realised what was happening. *Curses at what took away her voice in lack of voice actress*
Naruto fell over laughing.
During the fight against the metahuman criminals hired by Lex Luthor, he had been bitten by Copperhead who injected him with his venom. Batman had almost died.
"Oh, that's nasty." Green Arrow winced. He'd been bitten by Copperhead once as well. His heart gave out five times before he could get revived properly.
Batman made a mental note to try extracting a sample of venom from Copperhead the next time they fought.
He'd given himself a high level of resistance to Poison Ivy's pheromones and the Joker gas, but never really found anything for Copperhead's venom. If this had any relation to future events, he doubted he'd be as lucky as his other self to have others to take him to safety.
Superman looked worried. If Batman died, what would happen to the league or worse, Gotham?
Flash was just shocked. Batman, in spite of being just a normal man, was considered to be nearly as invincible as Superman. Always in control, always getting up. To see him reduced to such a state was jarring.
"The venom antidote is working." Martian Manhunter said in relief and, not long after that, Batman regained his consciousness.
"Sleeping beauty awakens." Green Lantern joked to lighten the mood. It worked.
Batman glared at the man.
"Welcome back," Superman said. "We were afraid we lost you."
"Luthor and the others... what happened?"
"They got away. All but Copperhead." Martian Manhunter answered.
That was good. Batman nodded. His other self would get that sample sooner than later.
"I'm heading down to Stryker's to interrogate him," Superman added.
"Alright, let's go," Batman said and tried to sit up but Superman stopped him.
"I get that you're a superhero and are expected to always get up, but you've got to know when to take it easy." Kakashi advised the man. "No amount of willpower's going to save you from breaking down if you push yourself past your limit. Surpassing your limits usually means death, not a new state of power."
Batman grunted. "I have no limits."
"You couldn't even handle poison." Green Arrow deadpanned. "I'm beginning to think you practice those lines in the mirror."
"Venom." Tsunade corrected the man.
"What?"
"Poisons from animals are venoms."
Green Arrow rolled his eyes. What was it with people and wanting to flex their knowledge? Dinah did the same thing with him often.
"No, you're staying here. That venom almost killed you."
"So?"
"Damn, you're a badass." Kakashi laughed mockingly.
"I think it's that he doesn't value his life." Gaara mused. "At least not when it's compared to what he believes to be a greater cause."
Batman nodded.
"Regardless, Batman, remember that you're of no use to anyone when you're dead or weakened." Gaara told the man. "If you see the chance to recover to your peak, always take it. The enemy will not care if you are injured or convalescing."
"I'll keep that in mind." Batman said.
"Bullshit you will." Green Lantern scowled. "You say that to everyone who tells you the same thing but don't do so."
Batman didn't respond. They wouldn't get why he did things the way he did.
"So you're staying here!"
"I don't think I've ever heard Superman sound so insistent on something." Flash said.
"I can be stubborn when I have to be." Superman said. "I just almost never have to be."
"Superman: Doesn't take no for an answer." Green Arrow snickered but stopped when nobody joined in.
Superman fixed the archer with a blank stare that made him squirm uncomfortably.
"Too rapey." Black Canary shook her head.
Batman glared at him but did not continue to argue and sat back on the bed. However, after Superman left, Batman still did as he wanted.
"I swear with how you're acting, you'll be lucky to make it to fifty." Naruto said.
"Naruto!" Diana looked appalled.
"What, you think his body's getting stronger? No, your body never really recovers from anything. It's like breaking a bone. The first time's the hardest, but it'll be easier to break next time." Naruto argued with her. "I'm not wishing him harm, I'm just pointing out a fact. If he never lets his body recover properly, he's just cutting his own lifespan shorter and shorter."
"It's true." Flash agreed with the blond. "Many athletes end up with weak hearts later in life because of their lifestyles. It's pretty much the same with being a vigilante. I understand that with Gotham, you can't afford to take breaks but it's best to slow down once in a while or your body's going to do it for you and it's going to do so at the worst possible time."
Batman hummed thoughtfully. He didn't plan on being Batman forever, but he didn't want to suffer a heart attack one day all because he didn't watch his health carefully enough.
Despite the words of consolation from the Martian, he went straight to the computer and tracked down the location of the Injustice Gang through the tracking device that he had secretly planted on Lex Luthor.
"I know this must be hard for you - feeling vulnerable. You're the only one of us without special powers. But you don't need to prove yourself. You're a valued member of this team and we're only trying to-"
Batman hid his annoyance behind a blank expression. He hated when people thought he was only trying so hard because he wanted to keep up with the other members of the league.
"Batman-" Superman started but got cut off by the vigilante.
"Don't, Superman. There's no need."
Batman cut off Martian Manhunter's words midway. "I'm taking the shuttle. Unless you want to try and stop me."
The two looked at each other in the eyes for 2 very long seconds before the Martian Manhunter backed off.
Martian Manhunter sighed. "I can't keep him against his will. He's not a prisoner."
"It's fine." Flash smiled at the alien. "He wouldn't be Batman if he didn't try to run off the moment he could walk."
…
On his way back to Earth, Batman also took the alien mercenary and his fox with him to hold his end of the bargain. Now, they were inside a warehouse in Gotham City.
"Let's go!" Naruto yelled excitedly.
Batman rolled his eyes.
"Here's your gold. You can check its weight yourself." Batman said and pointed at two wooden boxes on the ground.
"Even though I know what's in there could buy my house a dozen times, does anyone else think it's kind of underwhelming that they're just kept in wooden boxes?" Flash asked.
"Gold is transported inconspicuously, unlike cash." Batman said. "People tend not to feel curious when they see wooden boxes get loaded into a warehouse from a delivery van."
Opening their lids, Naruto saw thirty five gold bars in each box, every one of them weighing one kilogramme. He nodded in acknowledgement and took out a scroll from one of the inner pockets of the fur-collared black cloak covering his body.
"What's a scroll going to do?" Green Lantern raised an eyebrow.
"The real question is why he has a scroll. Isn't he from space?" Green Arrow said.
Naruto grinned inwardy, recognising the seal work on the scroll.
He spread the scroll open and placed it above the two boxes. After putting his hand on top of it, a small plume of smoke burst out and the 2 boxes filled with gold vanished.
Green Arrow's jaw hung open as did most of the others. Batman raised an eyebrow at the sight. He had to admit, that was a nifty trick.
"Nifty trick," Batman said. It was almost a compliment. He naturally understood how many possibilities such a convenient ability could bring.
"Huh, neat." Green Lantern simply said.
"Neat? Neat?!" Green Arrow parroted. "That's an RPG level hack right there and we're all just going to act like he didn't store over a thousand pounds of gold in paper? Fucking paper!"
"I can do the same with my ring, what's the issue here?" Green Lantern asked.
"That's a lantern ring, it's one of the most technologically advanced items in the universe. This is a paper scroll with squiggly lines on it!"
Naruto frowned. They weren't squiggly lines.
"That is a very convenient ability to have." Wonder Woman complimented.
"Thanks." He grinned at her then looked at Green Arrow. "Come on, I thought you'd have seen weirder stuff than that. What did you think the other me was going to do with thousands of pounds of gold? Carry them box by box to his ship?"
"We have seen weirder stuff." Black Canary confirmed. "But there are still things that can surprise us. Like Batman smiling."
"Yeah, that'd be the day." Flash scoffed. "Come to think of it, why don't you smile, Bats?"
"There's nothing to smile about." Batman responded.
"I swear he's practising those lines." Green Arrow insisted.
Gaara began to read before anyone could talk again.
"Thank you for the business," Naruto said professionally and then handed Batman a card.
"A business card?" Batman asked, inwardly surprised.
"I extorted you out of four million dollars, made you spend thousands on food for me and made fun of you when you were on death's door but I'm actually a very formal man." Superman mimicked Naruto's voice. "Here's my card, we should do business again."
"When you say it like that, I'd be surprised if he doesn't trash it the moment I leave." Naruto admitted. "And it's not extortion!"
"I'm an independent mercenary. Since there's no agency or corporation behind me, I have to advertise my services myself. Anyway, you have urgent matters to deal with so I won't keep you. Take care." Naruto said and raised his hand for a handshake.
"A surprisingly pleasant exit." Martian Manhunter noted. "Considering everything that has happened, I expected him to be a bit more…chaotic."
"He's been very chaotic." Batman said.
"The only thing he fucked up is your wallet, Batman." Green Arrow said. "Better that than Earth."
Batman silenced the man with his worst glare. If he had known Oliver was actually the CEO of Queen Consolidated and not just the lost but found playboy turned vigilante, he'd have made the man finance the league in tandem with him when they just started.
The two masked men shook hands and then Naruto and Kyuubi disappeared from the warehouse with a body flicker. When he could not feel the two aliens' presence any longer, Batman looked at the business card the blond left behind.
"He's not trashing it!" Naruto cheered.
"He's only looking at it." Flash reminded him. "He might still do it later."
"Let him have this bit of happiness." Diana smirked. Naruto made fun of her voice so she'd have her own vengeance in seeing his hopes crushed.
"Looks like he's done other things too besides eating since yesterday until now," he muttered.
"Really? What did he do?" Flash asked.
"I think he means out of Earth." Green Lantern corrected the speedster.
It was a black coloured card and written on it were a few lines in red - and much to his surprise, they were written in English. On the front of the business card, it was written.
"Oh, it was on Earth." Green Lantern said. "He just translated it to English."
"Look at the way the text and the body contrast each other perfectly." Green Arrow stared at the card intently. Flash caught on quickly.
"The way the light slightly reflects off it, almost like suede, black gold…" The speedster continued.
"Smooth like ivory, the tasteful thickness. Oh my God," Black Canary couldn't help but join in as well. "It even has a watermark."
"Bateman didn't say it like that." Green Lantern frowned.
"Well, Allen didn't have a black and red business card, did he?"
"Touché."
Intergalactic mercenary: Uzumaki Naruto
Alias: Caterpillar
"So that's why the story's called Caterpillar." Flash realised before looking at Naruto. "Why do you call yourself Caterpillar?"
Naruto shrugged. It was strange to him too.
"Because he hopes to become a butterfly." Green Arrow laughed.
Nobody joined him.
Total missions taken: 3381
"Holy shit." Green Lantern whistled. "That's almost as many missions as there are sectors. I haven't even been assigned that many missions."
Kakashi was surprised as well. Not even Lord Jiraiya had undergone that many missions.
Missions completed: 3380 (99.6% completion rate)
"It seems to be a common thing with you Narutos." Kakashi smiled at his former student.
"He's got nearly a success rate of a hundred?" Green Lantern asked, looking at the blond.
Not much harm in telling. Kakashi shrugged. "He has a ninety four percent success rate."
Batman stared at Naruto. He knew the boy was a lot more dangerous than he looked, but he failed to judge just how much.
Naruto stared at the screen.
Method of contact: lightwave xxx-xxx-xxx-xxx-xxx-xxx-xxx-xxx
Object of activity:
- escort
- sabotage
- espionage
- rescue
- assassination (scumbags only)
"You should add 'extortion' to your resume." Superman added jokingly, making Naruto sigh.
"Nice save." Green Arrow snickered at the last one. Scumbags only.
Tsunade couldn't believe it. "Assassination, Naruto? Really?"
"I don't do them, granny. Other me." Naruto lied smoothly.
Kakashi waved his book, not wanting to talk.
Naruto, surprisingly enough, had an aptitude for assassination, having murdered his own landlord to avoid paying rent. He had struck gold with his victim because the man had no known family, meaning the house became village property.
Lord Third hadn't been pleased to know that his successor's son was more ANBU material than Hokage, but he discreetly tried to cultivate the boy's inherent skill. One of which was encouraging him via a reward in the form of ownership of the entire house.
In the end, it was for nothing.
He looked at Naruto again. He supposed it was to the blond's credit that he didn't turn out the way the man wanted him to.
Batman involuntarily let out a snort of amusement at the explanation written in the parentheses. Looking on the back of the card, there was a picture of a crimson-red nine-tailed demonic-looking fox.
'Weird alias.' Batman inwardly thought.
"I agree with you." Naruto nodded. Of all the names, why Caterpillar? It was better than something like 'angel of death' or 'kitsune', but 'Caterpillar'?!
Naruto was wearing a fox-themed mask, he had a nine-tailed fox cub as a pet and even his business card had the picture of a nine-tailed fox on it. One would think his alias would be related to foxes. Batman could not see how a name like 'Caterpillar' related to foxes in any way.
"I think it's best if you don't think too much into it." Kakashi said. "Sometimes, I doubt Naruto even understands himself."
"Hey!"
"Anyone else think the picture looks like a mugshot?" Green Arrow pointed out.
Regardless, he did not ponder too much on it. He put the card in one of the many pockets of his utility belt and then headed towards the hideout of Lex Luthor's Injustice Gang.
"He didn't throw it away!" Naruto cheered again and jumped up for a victory dance.
Diana looked annoyed. "Yes, yes. Now sit down."
Great Hera, he even had nice moves. Did only the bad people get good things?
…
An Almeracian ship exited Earth's atmosphere and headed towards the edge of the Sol System at a constant speed, in a straight line. There were only two people on board, a blond-haired man and a red fox.
"The dynamic duo." Flash said.
Batman frowned. He and Robin were the dynamic duo.
"So, what's the plan now?" Kyuubi asked.
Naruto was sitting on a chair, browsing through the rather lengthy list of jobs that various information brokers and other organisations that he was in partnership with had sent him. He had been at it for the past two hours. It was completely unlike him. Normally, he was a decisive man when it came to job-related things.
"Two hours just job surfing?" Flash asked. "Picky much?"
"Either they don't pay well, don't pay enough for the risk or they're not the type I typically do." Naruto said.
Naruto made a slow-moving waving motion with his hand in front of his face and the white ANBU-style fox mask started to disperse in a shower of particles of light.
"Flash of light?" Green Lantern contemplated. "Nanotechnology perhaps?"
"If he got his hands on nanotechnology and still lugs weapons around, he's a retard." Green Arrow said. He'd seen nanotechnology in use before, there was a reason why it was globally sought after.
The reason why he could even eat without taking his mask off was that the mask was not an actual, physical object but a jutsu that he had created, one that he could easily control at will.
"Jutsu?" Batman asked. "There are techniques to create objects?"
"Not create objects." Naruto corrected. "Create the illusion of an object. Genjutsu."
It was a jutsu that he created primarily not to disguise his identity (though it was good at it since not even Superman could see through it with his x-ray vision) but to solve the problem that poisonous gases and the lack of oxygen - which meant that he could now survive in hostile environments with no issues and even underwater.
"So you've got an all purpose mask." Green Arrow looked at the blond in slight envy. That mask would have saved him from getting gassed so many times.
"And I can't see through it?" Superman asked, confused.
"Maybe it vibrates with a frequency your vision can't resonate with." Green Lantern theorised.
"I can make an all purpose mask with a technique?" Naruto looked confused. The closest thing to what was described that he could do was filter harmful gases near him with wind manipulation, but he couldn't do it through an object.
"Your other said he developed the technique, Naruto." Tsunade said. "I don't think that falls under any known art."
It was something that he had created out of necessity after going through countless dangerous places during his travels across the Universe.
"Understandable." Green Lantern nodded.
"Is it really that bad out there?" Green Arrow asked.
"There's a planet that rains diamonds." Green Lantern replied.
"Oh, nice."
"But the air's naturally occuring sulphuric acid."
"Oh, no!"
When the mask dispersed, the previously blue eyes became red and his sun-kissed blond hair took on a darker tint too, becoming a strawberry-blond colour, almost red.
Naruto sighed enviously. He loved his hair, but he wished he had red hair or at least bits of it.
As for his face, it had not changed too much since his teenager years. The more noticeable differences would be that the whisker-like marks on his cheeks had become darker and thicker and that, between his eyebrows, 2 rather deep frown wrinkles could be seen. He looked like a man in his mid-twenties.
Diana stared between the two Narutos she could see. The one on the screen was admittedly very handsome, but for some reason, she preferred the one sitting next to her.
Black Canary whistled. "He's hot."
Green Arrow frowned. "Hey, I'm still here."
She chuckled and caressed his beard. "I know, I love you too. But I'm just admiring art, just like you were staring at Tsunade's boobs."
His eyes widened. Shit.
Tsunade, on the other hand, was staring at the screen. She stared hard at Naruto on the screen, then the Naruto with them presently, then back and forth again. Give Naruto a few years to grow older and maybe redder hair and he'd look exactly like he did on the screen.
After all those decades, Naruto hadn't aged a day! She knew immortality meant eternal life, but eternal life and eternal youth weren't the same. You could spend eternity just growing older and weaker, or you could spend it as spry as you were millennia ago. Naruto seemed to fall under the latter.
She looked back at Naruto who was saying something to Wonder Woman. His frequent use of the then corrosive kyuubi's chakra had reduced his life expectancy greatly and he had dealt even more damage to his body with the creation of the rasenshuriken. As much as it pained her to admit it, she doubted he'd live to see seventy even if he wasn't killed at some point in his life.
A bit of hope grew in her. What if he was like his other self and whatever would cause his immortality had yet to either get triggered or just hadn't been encountered yet?
It didn't matter if she would never see him in the afterlife, just knowing he wasn't going to die an untimely death was enough to bring her joy.
When the mask disappeared, Naruto rubbed his face with his palms and sighed.
"I don't know. I don't even know what job to take or if I should take any job at all."
"Four million and all you had to do was bring a guy to earth, eat food, get paid and leave." Flash chuckled. "When you find a job that easy, everything else feels hard."
"That four million's going to be worth less in space." Green Lantern pointed out. "He's far from set for life. But then again, no one really is out there."
The reason why he had become a mercenary was that he had needed a way to finance his expeditions. Intergalactic travel was very expensive.
"The government spend millions to even leave Earth." Superman said. "Imagine how much it would cost to travel around solar systems, galaxies."
Ships capable of interstellar travel, their maintenance costs, the fuel, the weapons to equip on them, information...all these things were not cheap at all, regardless of the galaxy.
Green Lantern nodded in agreement. "It's even worse because they require very frequent maintainence, not all planets have the fuel type of your ship meaning if you didn't plan out your journey, you'd have to go searching around and hoping you don't get stranded in space."
"Sounds horrible." Superman frowned. He could fly in space, but he doubted he was fast enough to get to Earth in time from another system before he ran out of breath.
No, their prices were exorbitant, hence also the reason why his services were rather expensive too. But now that he realized that finding a way back home was impossible, he was at a loss of what to do.
"What's the point of even doing anything if you'll never achieve the goal your whole life revolves around." Naruto frowned.
Nobody knew what to say.
Superman cleared his throat. "I…I think the best thing to do at that point would be to find a new goal to work towards. Anything else and you'd just be living aimlessly. That's not life."
Naruto smiled at the man. "You're not wrong, but not everyone's strong enough to just accept that and switch goals. It's not a quarter as easy as it sounds."
"You've searched enough, Naruto. Almost a century is more than enough. Even if you went back now, what would you go back to? Everyone in your generation has long since passed away. You know as well as I do that shinobi don't live long lives."
"It's true, Naruto." Kakashi said. "The world would have moved forward over the course of more than ninety years."
Tsunade joined in. "Even if you did find your way back, you'd be going to a strange world filled with strangers. A world that's moved past your time. In a way, that hurts more than not even having returned."
Naruto stayed silent.
Diana stared at him worriedly. She honestly had no idea what to say to him because she was in a situation similar, yet different.
The first time she came to man's world, it had been with Steve and even after they separated and she only spent what could have been a few years at best before returning, she realised that decades had passed and Steve himself had withered with age.
The reason why none of it affected her was because it wasn't her world. She had not been born on Earth and didn't have any real attachment until joining the League. It didn't affect her much if the world moved forward by a million years in the time she was on Themiscryia.
But with Naruto, it was the other way round. She could only imagine going back to Themiscryia and seeing strange Amazons and learning later on that everyone she knew was dead. She wouldn't be able to move on, that she knew. She'd be forever a relic of past times stuck in a world that had moved and refused to carry her with it.
In her opinion, it would have been better if she didn't even go back at all.
Naruto frowned at those words; it had become a habit for him (and that was the reason why the frown lines between his eyebrows were so pronounced).
"You really should frown less." Gaara told Naruto. "It marrs your face."
"But I don't frown much." Naruto said, appreciating Gaara's attempt to lighten the mood.
"Still."
"Alright, alright."
"Don't tell me you've forgotten what happened eighty eight years ago, Kurama. It's the reason why I don't look a day over twenty five. For me, it was only one hour...but when I came out, almost fifty years had passed in the outside world."
The ninjas froze in shock. Green Lantern and Diana looked more shocked than everyone else. They'd been in places where time dilations were greater than others, but not to such a degree. One hour couldn't mean half a century, it was too far apart!
At those words, the hair all over Kyuubi's back and his nine tails became straight like needles as a series of chills went down his back. At that time, Kyuubi had still been sealed inside Naruto as the two of them had not managed to find a way to let Kyuubi out without killing Naruto until he was in his late 40s.
"You actually figured it out without the key?" Kakashi looked shocked.
Naruto nodded. "Without the risk of dying anymore, I managed to do it a lot quicker though. Why's it so shocking? It's the usual seal."
"That 'usual' seal was placed on you by the god of death, Naruto." Kakashi stressed the word 'god'.
"A god really did something to him?" Green Arrow stared at Naruto. "And he undid it?"
Batman stared at Naruto, feeling his suspicions rise again. What exactly made him attract a god's attention, much less one of death?
However, through Naruto's eyes, he could see and experience the outside world, just like Naruto could. The sight he had seen that day would forever be ingrained in his brain. It was something that neither he nor Naruto would ever be able to forget.
"What did you see?" Green Lantern asked, almost nervously. He wasn't sure if it was good or bad, but considering they weren't talking about it happily, it had to be something deeply horrifying.
Naruto groaned annoyedly. "It's the other me, Lantern. Let Gaara read."
Nonetheless, Kyuubi did not want to back off.
"I know what hope you've been clinging on for the past century - time dilation. You've been hoping that while a century has passed here, maybe - just maybe - no more than a day had passed in the Elemental Nations."
Tsunade sighed miserably, already knowing how this would go.
"But forget about a day, just think about one hour. No, even 5 minutes. Who could survive against the Rabbit Goddess after she kicked us out of the dimension? You think that Uchiha could? Or that useless woman you used to have a crush on? Or maybe your sensei? Hell, at that time, even you wouldn't have been able to last all alone against Kaguya for five minutes."
Naruto couldn't swallow. He knew Kurama was right. Team seven had never been as painfully outmatched as they had been against Kaguya. Not even when they fought Madara or Zabuza and Haku.
It didn't mean he liked to be reminded of that. Especially when it was coming from a world where things clearly didn't end on a happier note than his had.
"Shut up!" Naruto shouted incensed. The amount of chakra that his mere shout contained made the entire warship shake terribly.
Diana's eyes widened at his outburst. That was a lot of energy.
Kyuubi scoffed not in the least intimidated. But he still chose to give up on his tiny fox cub form and his body enlarged until he was several feet tall, making the control room barely accommodate his enormous size. His voice became even more powerful and demonic when he spoke next.
Green Arrow chuckled nervously. "Anyone else really feeling a bit afraid of those two?"
Flash raised his hand halfheartedly.
"You don't like to hear the truth, eh? Here. I'll spell it for you: everyone is dead! You've been living with your mind stuck in the past for almost a century! Fighting for something that probably doesn't even exist anymore!"
Naruto's shoulders sagged as he stared at the floor. He knew nothing being said here meant anything in his world, but it didn't stop them from affecting him.
This was what he could have become if things took a turn for the worse in the war. Some guy devoting his entire life to chasing shadows, giving himself false hope while ignoring the truth he told himself.
It was funny, his main reason for wanting to go to other dimensions was because he knew he'd run out of places to travel to in his world. He'd fulfill his life's goal if that was done. And what would come after? It was all he'd really planned with his life.
In a way, dimension travelling was his own method of running from the inevitable.
Kakashi closed his eyes as he listened to the kyuubi's words. He'd have rather it were said in a milder manner but it was better this way. The truth was better delivered as quickly and bluntly as could be. Naruto wouldn't be able to do anything but accept it.
No matter how much it hurt him to do so.
When Kyuubi said those words it was like Naruto had suddenly lost all his energy. He sat down on the pilot's chair and let his head fall against the steering wheel of the ship lifelessly.
"Oh, Naruto…" Tsunade stared at the boy. She wanted to embrace him, but she knew it wasn't what he needed or wanted. It never was.
Inwardly, Kyuubi felt his heart crack at that sight. He cared about Naruto like his own brother. They were family. Telling Naruto such harsh words hurt him too.
'Forgive me, Naruto, but it had to be done. You've spent a human's entire lifetime already on a wild-goose chase. It's enough. I can't watch you waste your life like that any longer. It's time to let go.' Kyuubi thought in his heart.
Gaara agreed. Had he been in the kyuubi's place, he'd have done the exact same thing. As Naruto's friend, he wouldn't stand and watch the boy waste his own life away.
Black Canary watched the man go through the stages of grief with pity. She didn't want to imagine herself in his shoes.
The two of them often argued and sometimes even brawled but it was play fighting. It was very rare for them to have a serious fight. The number of times they fought ever since Kaguya had thrown them into another dimension could be counted on the fingers on one hand. And Naruto had always avoided speaking about how small were the chances of them ever going back home. He even avoided thinking about it.
"You are right, Kurama. I'm sorry." Naruto said.
In the deafening silence that followed, the sound of his tears falling on the floor could be heard. They were big, bitter tears. Tears filled with the frustration and bitterness that he had bottled up inside of him over the past century.
Naruto sighed numbly at the sight. Shit, he hated to see himself cry.
All this time, he had pursued his goal with a tunnel vision, mindlessly. He had not allowed himself to cry, to doubt himself or to despair. But now, his path had finally reached a dead end. He had travelled to all the known planets inhabited by humanoid creatures, all across the 3600 sectors of the Universe.
Green Lantern shook his head pityingly. Like he'd said earlier. If he hadn't gotten anything in all sectors and the guardians, he was on a wild goose chase.
He had met the oldest beings in the universe, the Guardians of the Universe, to ask for information and he had even ventured to explore the unknown void of the Universe, almost dying several times in the process. But it had all been for nought. He did not have any other leads. He had exhausted all his means.
"I was selfish. I'm sorry. I've only thought about myself. All these years, you've followed me and helped me without saying anything. And I never thought of what you might want to do."
Naruto stared at his hands, feeling slightly happy that he and Kurama didn't have that issue. Did they?
Did Kurama really agree with everything they did or was he just rolling with it for the sake of his own happiness or so he wouldn't have to fight with his only friend?
"What are you talking about, you bastard! Don't make this about me!" Kyuubi shouted and grabbed Naruto by the collar of his cloak. "This isn't about what I want. It's about-"
But Kyuubi choked on his words when Naruto brought his arms around him and hugged him tightly while crying in his chest. At that moment, Naruto looked nothing like a famous intergalactic mercenary. He did not look like someone who had fought on equal grounds against a god and lived to tell the tale. At that moment, he looked no different than a child crying in despair.
Even for the superheroes who didn't know him for long, to see someone like Naruto, even if it was an alternate version of him, like this, made them uncomfortable.
Diana rubbed Naruto's shoulder, noticing with some worry how stiff he'd gone.
The now giant fox brought his tails around Naruto and gently laid his chin on top of his head.
Naruto snorted sadly. Kurama had only done that for him once and sworn that would be the last time. Although seeing as how the war was never won in that world, it would be the first time he'd be doing it there.
Apart from the Sage of Six Paths who had died more than a thousand years before, Kyuubi had never cared about any of the humans or beings from the Elemental Nation. Kyuubi had never missed his homeworld.
On the contrary, the past century spent travelling the Universe - especially the last 60 years, ever since they found a way to unseal him from Naruto - had been the most fun and amazing period of his millennia-long life.
"I imagine it'd be." Naruto smiled slightly. Kurama was always the more adventurous of them both.
Travelling to new worlds, exploring unknown lands, seeing all kinds of creatures, eating so many kinds of good food. It was a life better than he had ever hoped to have even in his wildest dreams. In the Elemental Nations, he had been nothing but a beast hunted by humans and imprisoned to be used as a weapon of war. He had no sweet memories of it.
Naruto understood why. His siblings left him, admittedly due to his excessive pride and he had spent the better part of the century in both his mother, the first hokage's wife and then, him.
Twice he'd been enslaved, he'd been forced to spend years in a god's belly and nearly got reabsorbed back into the very same mindless destructive being from which he was created because of an insane relic of the past and a man whose version of 'peace' was simply a world in which he was finally the winner of something.
He may have his own attachments and reasons to want to go back but for Kurama, there was no happiness to be had in the elemental nations.
But he understood Naruto's feelings.
He was a man loyal to his loved ones to a fault. And the 4th Great Ninja War happened only a few weeks after the village that used to hate him had finally acknowledged him.
Naruto scoffed weakly. The old man's advise also worked for his other self.
He had become a hero and it looked like his lifelong dream of becoming a Hokage was within an arm's reach, no longer something deemed as a pipe-dream. People had started to respect him and love him. But his friends (his 'precious people') and everything he had worked so hard for had been taken away from him when he had been thrust into an unknown world.
Superman grimaced. It almost sounded like something the black mercy would do to a person. A happy life, those things you secretly wished had been real and when it was all close to its zenith, it all came crashing down.
A world that he had roamed like a vagabond for almost a century. Kyuubi could understand his despair.
So he let him cry. Despite the mucus and tears staining his beautiful fur, Kyuubi did not say a word of reproach.
"It's alright, Naruto...it's alright... Let it go."
Gaara closed the book despondently.
Nobody spoke for a while until Diana tapped Naruto's shoulder. "Naruto? The chapter's over."
Naruto nodded. "Thanks…I'd like to be alone for a while."
She nodded and got up as everyone else did.
Naruto kept staring at his hands as he heard people behind to talk around him. Nobody tried to approach him, something he was grateful for.
He didn't move from his position until a portal opened and dropped a blond girl on the seat next to him, earning a surprised cry from Superman.
"Kara?!"
…
Look up Solid jj on YouTube. The guy does these short voiceovers of animations, games and movies. It's funny as hell.
I don't know why, but when I see some of Batman's lines, I can't help but think 'no way he thought of that on the spot'. It's like a deez nuts joke you've been practicing to use in the hopes that the opportunity to do so shows itself one day.
Batman is actually superhuman and has a healing factor nobody talks about. Change my mind.